What It's Like To Be A Man In 2024
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- čas přidán 29. 08. 2024
- The empathy gap is wild. I cannot imagine having this experience and coming away from it thinking that "hearing about it" is the real tragedy.
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This reminds me of people whose first reaction hearing about a mass shooting is "ugh, is it going to be harder for me to buy guns now? Someone had to go and screw things up for the rest of us 'good guys'."
That's a genuinely exact & disquieting analogy because it disrupts a sort of twisted "hunt" in both scenarios.
But i personally don't believe that was why the original guy made the video. I interpret the message more as "Sadly, a noteworthy amount of men are doing horrible acts, and as a result I feel cut off from part of my identity as well as from other people."
I believe everyone knows that people who have been victim to such a crime are struggling most with it, but that doesn't mean that people who feel isolated simply by association (whether self-imposed or not) remain entirely without consequence.
Well thats how i think because people in charge are not trying to solve any problem ever anyway, there is already no hope for not having another shooter. The only thing to get sad for is that buying guns will be harder for guys that want to protect themselves. Men dont think like you. Stop being sheeps. This is why we hate any movement by women because you guys get ruined and manipulated easily.
@@kappanova1302maybe those "good guys" need to stop spending so much time doomscrolling and actually get out there and do some good deeds. Show the world how good you are, rather than just claiming you're good to a demographic who, because of their past experiences with other so called "good guys" don't believe a word you're saying.
Be the change you want to see, and all that.
Watch just the first 8 seconds of the video again. No more than that, just the first 8 seconds. The first three things that are said are, "Men are the problem," "Men are the problem," & "Are men trash," (said in a tone that would seem to indicate they are). The problem this guy has is that huge parts of society have decided that having a penis makes you inherently evil. And that's not ok.
@@peterclarke7006 Thx for reminding me, I actually needed to hear that.
Yep, men are almost always the victim. I was married for 13 years and my ex never, ever accepted any responsibility for anything. After being divorced for 40 years, I finally realized that I had been married to a misogynist and a narcissist. I'm now "76," and my wish is for all the young and older women out there, to be aware of who you are involved with. You will not change them...ever. I've never been happier.
Hey Ariana. There's one common denominator here. It's you. You chose to marry these men but you ignored the red flags.
You are the one playing victim here. You're in a hell of YOUR OWN MAKING.
You're beautiful and necessary. You all are! Thank you for sharing your experiences!
@@user-rm5jj9qw9tWhat a tool, lmao. You just go straight to blaming a victim?
You're one of the "nice guys," I'm guessing, eh?
So true. I'd rather be single than trapped with someone who can't bother to respect me or himself. I'm also queer so I got options, lol.
glad you got out. i'm happy i listened to older women like you when i was in my late 20s, never could thank them but they taught me so much. now single and never been happier, trying to be the person i needed when i was young... sadly the damage has been done but hey now i only have my own stuff to deal with.
The dead stare and slow zoom in say so much without a word
Sometimes I’m afraid your sarcasm doesn’t get through to the people who actually need to hear your message because they’re too dense.
Same😳 but I really hope not💙🌎
All they have to do is see any of his other they'll know.
And they miss the writing on the screen at the end because they're already typing 😂
Or they don’t know him
What coild prevent a person from getting the Massage?
"Why the fuck would these ungrateful harlots choose a bear over me?! I'm a great guy right....RIGHT!"- True Alpha Males
Men are like video games: the alpha version is so full of bugs it's unplayable/undatable, and the beta version needs troubleshooting but can turn out well with a little work.
@@suzannepottsshorts Bit ultimately if you're going near anything with a Greek letter identity you're in for a bad time.
@@tjenadonn6158truest words
@@suzannepottsshortsI appreciate this joke, thank you lol
No man asks this question, except the most naive and delusional ones.
Women have chosen a bear, so be it.
Everyone has a right to share their story. Thats how society grows, if we push bad things down we make it easier for victims tobe trapped by an abusers manipulation. Be safe and be aware if youre at risk for stalking, hate crimes, harassment, sexual assault, ect.
Love your pfp
Also, bad things are always going to be prevalent and on the Internet bad things tend to rise to the surface more than positive things. If we also put out genuine positivity, that might balance things out i.e. there are a lot of sexual assault stories and things like that, but also broadcasting good and safe/innocent interactions of a woman with a man or vice versa can be beneficial to some people (as long as it's not to belittle the negative experiences)
Which is why when us guys talk about the times we were abused or assaulted (if we were), we have to be mindful of when we bring it up. Yeah, it fucking sucks to hear this, but it’s worse to experience it and when it’s actually our experience that’s swept under the rug by the same people who bring it up to shut others down, it’s not a win for us men. It’s an L, because we are not addressing either issue, we are just trying to get people to be quiet instead of bringing awareness and changing peoples perspective in order for all of us to do better.
@@StAmander seriously who wants their trauma to be used as a way to invalidate someone else's trauma??
@@thewickeddevilofthewest I know right, it sucks and like the same people who will bring it up to shut others down, are often the same people who would tell others to “man up” and “suck it up, you are a man.”
Do they think women LIKE talking about these horrible things? Do they think we WANT to keep having the same discussion over and over and OVER and OVER again? Women don't like hearing the daily news that Mr. So-and-so was arrested and let go for SAing a child, abusing their partner, or murdering a woman that didn't give him the attention he wanted. Maybe we'll shut up about men when they stop being such a problem.
My standard response when I'm accused of being a man-hater (you know, for TALKING about this stuff): "I'll stop hating men when men stop being hateful."
@@gardnerhill9073hey, do a little thought experiment: when you’re writing about men, just stick the word “black” in front every time you write the words “man” or “men.” Then decide if you would still publish the post looking that way.
We both know you wouldn’t. Maybe think on that for a little bit.
@@Newnodrogbob1. That wouldn’t be grammatically correct.
2. Black people aren’t a problem like that. There isn’t any proof of black people being the kind of problem men currently are. You’re “what if the identity was different?” Hypothetical doesn’t work when the identities aren’t comparable.
@@awkwardukulele6077 I’m embarrassed for you. Learn to read.
1. Changing “men” to “black men” doesn’t make it grammatically incorrect.
2. Black men are men. Anything you are saying about men you are saying about black men, because they are included in the category of men.
@@Newnodrogbob no, try substituting "white people." Works perfectly, no flaws detected.
Oops, there's context and it's called "reality."
Men go through the pain of hearing about women's horrible experiences with men. Women go through the pain of actually having those horrible experiences with men. Clearly one of these parties is worse off.
Men fear being rejected by women.
Women fear being killed by men.
Right. Which is harder, hearing about a bad car accident, or being in it. One of these things is not like the other.
@jengsci8268 - why don’t you ask the man who paid his male acquaintance to hit a woman’s car so badly she almost died? The woman & her daughter got away from a stalker abuser she refused to marry & bear any children he created. The woman & daughter walked on eggshells the entire time and got away only for him to find them again & cause more damage to their lives. That woman refuses to be involved with anyone ever again. Misogynist mentality is often maiming and deadly.
@@lisarice4402 It wasn't really a question. It was more a statement of agreement on The Speech Prof's post.
Maybe not. Think about what happens in real life to millions of people. Unfortunately some choose evil behavior and the rest of us deal with it.
You know you're privileged when the biggest problem you face is hearing about women's horrible experiences with men, like damn just ignore it instead of being negative about them.
Please don't just ignore it.
Please be an ally, get active, at least call out guys who don't yet understand.
☮️🌈💙
@jax_878 that's the ideal but it's not always feasible but they can stop vocalizing how butthurt they are than women don't trust, mostly because we already know
@@rwedereyetI agree with you and I don't ignore these problems, but some people just don't change at all, like no matter how much you try to teach them, they'll be willfully ignorant so instead it's better to focus on ones that aren't like that and can change.
Btw happy pride month 🌈❤
@@Pratt11 Thanks, you too!
@@Pratt11Some, but not all. That's what makes it worth trying.
Redpillers: "Men are lonely!"
Feminists: "YES!"
Redpillers: "We should go back to the days when women had no agency or civil rights so they had to be with a man."
Feminists: "NO!"
Also
Redpillers: Men are lonely!
Feminists: Yes, men _are_ lonely!
Redpillers: And feminists won’t talk about it!
Feminists: Wait what? We’ve been talking about it for decades. Have you read bell hooks? Or listened to Angela Ferrara? Or watched a Contrapoints video? Or…
Redpillers: That’s why you shouldn’t listen to feminists! Or any women! Like us!
Feminists: There it is -.-
To this day, the only time I ever saw someone bring up the topic of sexual abuse against men unprompted was a feminist blogger talking about how fucked it was that it gets trivialized and used as a gag (in children's movies no less). Every time a so-called men's rights advocate brings it up, it's always to discredit or delegitamize women.
Literally. Like...these dudes don't actually want men to be helped and freed from patriarchy, because even if they feel like shit, they would still rather sacrifice their joy to allow women's suffering and abuse. They would rather be abusive than actually be free.
@@ecyor0 EXACTLYYYYY!!
@@ecyor0Jennifer Khalifa CPEDV in S19E13 of podcast "Something Was Wrong" says something along the lines of at its widest definition interpersonal/domestic violence and abuse happens to about 1 in 7 males as well but she suspects the figure is closer to 1 in 4 due to vast under reporting or issues which are not technically illegal (e.g. she includes infidelity in the broad definition). Her acknowledgement that interpersonal abuse exists in non-hetero relationships, or between, say, co-workers and others that don't have a romantic or family connection. I don't remember any discussion about "who are the perpetrators?", though.
The crazy part is how that dude in the beginning shot thought that he had himself this sick epic own. Poor men, that we are subjected to hearing all this on social media, never once asking himself why in 2024 are so many of his fellow men still "subjecting" others to such inhumane treatment. Because he's not like those guys, right? Or maybe it's my fault for not having such a privileged existence as to believe I'm the victim because I heard stories from other people about how they've been treated like shit because they're women.
What they consider an epic own says a lot about how they consider women.
How dare does that decorative object complain about us men?
Because that's 100% what this is.
@@castrinecubique983no it's how dare someone put the blame of an individuals actions on a whole group of people. Collective blame is illogical and wrong
@@castrinecubique983I hear you I am a man and I hate myself after hearing every bad thing men do to women. I hear you every day I can
@@castrinecubique983that's kind of a leap no offense. I'm an ally. I *** myself anytime I think of a woman s**ually. I do not view you as objects in the slightest. Every action I take I imagine what I'd do if I were a woman. I have turned down an opportunity exclusive to men (eagle scout).
The man prioritizes his pain over another person's. That's the issue. If you feel I am wrong then I'd like to know how and improve.
@jackmcstackpack3586 I agree and I also see how one can feel like they are attacked by comments like "men are...". It's not always easy to remind oneself that this is a very different claim than "All men are...". It's natural that we tend to identify with those statements, I tend to do the same scrolling through comments from the dadvocate channel which is basically the exact same as this channel just with the genders reversed.
Thing is: It's not about you or me if we don't act and think like the people being shown in the video or talked about in the comments. Even when men literally write "No women will ever take accountability" I just remind myself that this sentence is a hyperbole or it's simply someone stuck in a black-white ideology and is not a reflection of the community as a whole.
There is no collective blame in the sense that no man who hasn't done those things is actually blamed for it. There is blame of specific widespread behaviour of men, but if you don't partake in that behaviour (like the content creator of this channel), no one blames you for it. This man here is universally loved because he very clearly says that he hates to see other men behave badly. That's literally all that's necessary to be flooded with supportive messages from women.
Just as men don't blame me when they say that women are not aware of their privileges. I get why men vent about that on the internet and it's not a personal attack against me because I am literally not part of the group of women they describe.
Where I disagree is that women shouldn't behave like every male stranger is a potential predator though. You wouldn't advice your daughter to assume that every man that approaches her has her best interest at heart. I know literally not one father that says "not all men means that my daughter should assume the best in everyone that seems nice. It would be unfair to the men that approach her and the guy walking behind her at night that they are a potential threat. She should be nice and assume they don't want to harm her until proven otherwise".
It's like going camping. We know that the vast majority of bears never attack humans. They aren't evil animals out to get us, but because they are so much more powerful and can easily hurt is if they want to, we learn to avoid them out of principle. I love bears, most people love bears, most people would love to let a bear approach them, but we all know that the danger is so high that IF a bear wants to attack that we obviously don't do that.
I’m at an age (63) that the rotten men leave me alone now. It’s such a huge relief. I feel for all the younger women who are having to deal with rotten men. I worried for my daughter who had dealt with some rotten ones but thankfully is now married to a wonderful man who loves and respects her. I now worry for my 3 granddaughters, two of which are young adults. I have a son and grandson and never worry about them being harassed. That right there says a lot.
He's whining about his ego being hurt, but imagine being a woman who has been harassed and/or assaulted, and now you hear about it happening to someone else almost every single day because it's so common. Every time you're reminded of it, you realize how many people went through it just like you.
So many, who don't even need imagination. It just IS.
Or maybe women should stop chasing these guys who hurt them and blaming men they don't find attractive.
So many men’s biggest complaint is “I felt bad 😢” like damn sorry? We all feel bad all the time, sorry it’s a new concept to you, bud.
@user-rm5jj9qw9t Ever heard of love bombing.?
@@user-rm5jj9qw9t we're not chasing them, THEY ARE FORCING US!
I wish I heard that in my feed. Instead I hear video after video of "alpha male" podcasters degrading women, telling other men "not to accept no for an answer," and bragging to other men about how they would leave their wife if her body changed after pregnancy.
and what big corporations are backing them up? Thats the difference, their hateful ideology ends with the internet, yours is endorsed by megacorporations .
@@madmintentertainment6268Huh?
@@PeanutButterRedneck every mainstream news source and massive corporation is, at least performatively, pro feminist.
Which means on top of all the man hate and death wishes on my feed I have to watch them knowing that the things that run our society agree
@@PeanutButterRedneck Disney, marvel, Google.
All of them would say they support feminism. All of them have events/sales around it.
Alpha bro redpill podcasts don't have the same thing. They end with whatever platform they are using.
@@madmintentertainment6268damn that's a new viewpoint I've seen with this feminist, LGBTQ etc agendas.
They probably want it to be like the "good old days" when their great grandmothers were SA:ed over and over again, but took that secret to the grave.
Not really. Ya heard of old Freud? Psychoanalysis? Yeah, a lot of his things a actually based on sexual abuse. Sigh. He dismissed it because of his own politically and social ideas.
Idk I WISH the most upsetting thing in my life was people being mean to me on the internet.
The people who lived the less trauma are always the ones trying to play victim and silence everyone else because "they are living though times" AKA "I lost my job because I showed up drunk all the times and my boss got tired of it" or "I cheated and my wife is so cruel for asking a divorce"... you know, consequences of their shitty behavior.
You wish you were casually dehumanized by greater society? Fuck you only had to say so.
Yall would off yourselves in a day if you had to be men
I remember when a certain doctor for Olympic gymnasts was in the sentencing phase and the court was hearing victim impact statements. He tried to get out of being in the courtroom because he said it would be too traumatizing for him to hear all the things he did laid out like that.
And I know nem who thought that was perfectly reasonable, since he was about to go through something more traumatic (you know, actually going to jail for doing the things he did).
The cruel irony here is laughably horrible
imagine being that horribly selfish
Makes me wonder how exactly the judge reacted to it. Considering how blistering she was when she responded to the letter he read out and when she laid down the sentence, I can only imagine how furious she was.
@@animeotaku307 She's a lot more calm than I would have been. That narcissist tried everything he could to try and dodge accountability, or even hear about the things he did.
His victims have every right (literally) to shove it in his face at every hearing he ever has. The nerve of him to think that he's some sort of exception.
"Some men" hu? Either a straw man or an insignificant minority. Guess we should compare women to the worst women out there then hu, if we apply your reasoning here.
Been getting a lot of "have we failed men?" style videos popping up in my feed in recent weeks. Sure, we failed men. And by we I mean we men. Men failed men. If you're going to be angry about the state of things at least get angry at the people who actually fucked it up for you.
Exactly.
Almost every woman I know, including my own grown kids, have had negative experiences involving men and sexual harassment, ranging from being catcalled by older men (and often while still minors), to being stalked and threatened for 3 years, with no help from police because they can't do anything unless he actually "does something", meaning she could have ended up dead before they did something. And, no, restraining orders don't often help. Then there was my coworker who was actually attacked at work by her ex. He followed her into the front lobby after lunch, and literally started beating her up in front of a bunch of witnesses. The incident happened because of child custody issues (she had full custody, since there was a restraining order on him for domestic abuse, and he was already not paying his share of child support, despite a court order). We had to lock the building down because of him.
That's not to say that women can't be toxic and abusers. I have male friends who have dealt with those. But not one of them have actually feared for their safety, or their lives. Even the one who was getting "death threats", because he really didn't believe she would actually do anything. But his girlfriend at the time (now wife) was actually fearful of being attacked by the crazy ex.
Every single man I know has horrible experiences when it comes to women.
So because the men weren't afraid, or too proud to admit they were afraid, then the women abusers weren't that bad or dangerous. Okay
@@XXCoeusXX Dude, I'm giving my own personal, anecdotal affirmations. Obviously, if you have your own examples to give, you can do so. From our family and friends experiences, we've witnessed more dangerous men than women, and I mean the type that would cause physical harm. I'm not diminishing the anxiety and stress that both men and women deal with in such cases, but women almost always end up fearing for their safety and lives.
@@user-zu5do6ri6r Then you and your group of guys make really bad choices, if you've only have bad experiences with women. You're inferring the wrong things here. Obviously, there are many good men and women. But in the cases where people encounter the bad ones, women will end up fearing for their safety and lives in a way men won't, and at far higher percentages.
@@mynvision "But not one of them have actually feared for their lives. Even the one who was getting 'death threats', because..."- It just seems dismissive of the gravity of the situation. It seems like the weight of the situation is based on how afraid someone is. I agree with everything in your reply though. It is definitely tougher for women, but it seems like because they have it tougher, then nothing matters when it happens to men.
What is WRONG with my brain? I was like,
"I get it, it's so saturated in the media right
now." And then you said it THIS way, and I
was like, "Yeah, but... I don't WANT other
people to know about how I suffered or
was traumatized." Then I had to pause and
go, "Ah. There it is." The want to keep it quiet
will only make it worse. It's hard to come to
terms with that.
This quote hits way harder than it has a right to:
"Who's the victim, them who experienced it
or me, who logged on to social media and
having to hear about it?"
Because, bluntly, I hate the whole thing. I hated
experiencing it firsthand (more than once)
and I hate hearing about it all the time, because
it makes me feel like I'm reliving it. So both? Both.
This is some great introspection. Though I still think you are the real victim for your experience not for having to hear about it. Because logging into social media is a choice and even though trigger warnings are becoming less prevalent there are still ways to avoid things you don’t like that trigger bad memories such as algorithm curation or careful website or friend selection.
The other side of the coin is the constant bombardment of hate directed at young men for the crime of being born male is not improving anything for anyone.
The sociopaths who commit crimes against women are not suffering crises of conscience because the internet is full of videos saying that men are trash. We are, however, watching a whole generation of men who have been told for their entire lives that they are scum arrive at adulthood. Weirdly, it hasn’t made their attitudes towards women better.
I have not experienced any of this, not women complaining nor getting assaulted. That being said, I think these videos are extremely toxic: "men" did not do that. "A man" or "some men" did it. The videos blame ALL men, which is very toxic. It's like blaming all women for child abuse, just because mothers exist that abuse their children.
So, please, do share your story, share your insights, advises, etc, but don't blame 50% of the entire world. How would young boys feel if this is what they keep hearing on social media, every single day?
@@annekekramer3835Nobody says "all men", they say "men".
You just assume they're saying "all men" because you're uncharitable towards them.
Because guess what? Nobody thinks half of the population is to blame, the numbers they keep bringing up say that only a tenth of that population is the problem.
It's people that act like you that go 🤓☝"actually not ALL men" that miss the point entirely and are active bystanders on these issues.
You may not be that tenth but you sure as hell aren't helping their victims, listening to them (as you misinterpret their words) or doing anything to change or punish that tenth in your circles (because you spent so much of your time writing an unnecessary and wrong comment).
Be better.
just want to say op that you are not the problem for not wanting to hear about it. as a survivor yourself, you're clearly aware of the prevalence of it, and are not choosing to be ignorant to it. that's the difference between being triggered because you too are a survivor, and being a man who has not experienced that & doesn't feel like listening to women tell them what's happening. those guys also tend to grow resentment towards women just from hearing about their experiences... that is very different and leads to more abuse.
I love how these dudes are so self-centered that they think that when a woman talks about a bad experience with a man, they automatically assume it’s about them. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY MAN, FELLA. You wanna stop hearing about this stuff? Then you need to stop the men who are doing it. Don’t blame the woman for having a bad experience with a man.
Okay, but if you say "Men" you are saying he's in that group cause he is a man. I might agree with Speech Prof's point but he's not denying the fairly obvious point that it does that.
@@catxtrallways Surely when a man does that you assume they're a sexist, right? Why the double standard when a woman does it?
I've been hearing it from both sides all my life and BOTH sides are wrong to do it.
@@catxtrallways _men have only had to deal with women openly complaining about men for the last 8 years or so_
Hahahahahahahah
Oh wait, you're serious?
Hahahahahahahah
The only one strawmanning and not listening is you.
@@catxtrallways Let's address this properly. If you say "Men are X" or "Men are Y" then it's perfectly acceptable for someone who is a man to say "I'm not. Don't say I am"
You made the point that men have been saying similar things about women.
I pointed out that it was sexist there too. It was. It still is.
How have I in any way strawmanned your point? What was your point besides whataboutism anyway? You don't defeat lies with lies. You don't defeat hipocrisy with hipocrisy. I'm always going to call out sexism no matter who does it.
_You're just mad women have been able to push past men ignoring women finally_
You've literally gone into attack mode over a pretty simple issue even though I said I agree with Speech Prof. Ad hominem arguments are the refuge of those with no other points to make.
@@catxtrallways BTW, why are you demeaning and ignoring the work of every feminist before 8 years ago?
Me Too was important but it wasn't the start of everything.
Your response was the response we needed to his response. Thank you for illustrating the absurdity so well!
Lol no it wasnt, it was just more bad faith masturbatory bullshit that doesnt try to address how men are feeling at all, it just makes a straw man.
I’ve read so many accounts of women who have been assaulted by the various men in their lives CONTINUOUSLY, SINCE THEY WERE A CHILD.
Good men need to face the trauma happening around them and decide how they will move through a world where this is happening to almost every woman they know.
Thank you for standing up for victims.
Sometimes I just want to give you a hug 😅 I dont know how you just GET IT, but it's so fucking nice. Thank you 💛
I feel the same. It’s such a rare and genuinely beautiful thing 💞
The irony of this comment when he missed the point of the original video is hilarious
If you spend 1 season watching any program like The FBI Files, Unsolved Mysteries, or the like, you'll understand that women are almost ALWAYS the victim. The reason women are not 100% the victim is because young girls are not women!!!!
The reason is, when men are victims, nobody cares.
Actually, young boys also have some of the same experiences as women and girls. RAINN 1 in4 girls r*ped and 1 in 6 boys r*ped before 18.
Those stories are cherry-picked for multiple criteria, so please don't take them as representative of actual American crime stats. In reality, over 40% of victims of physical assault in the US are men (and the VAST majority of their attackers are also men). It's just not dramatic enough for those shows to be accurate about these things.
@lysanamcmillan7972 In being Picky Patty you actually still made her point. MEN, NOT WOMEN, ARE A THREAT to kids, women and even other men....Hadn't met an entity YET they aren't willingly harming. The call is always from inside the house. 😮
I disagree. We have a wrong statistic about men being the victim. I include in "men" category boys and elderly men as well. From 5% to 8% of boys are the victims of SA, but the numbers might be higher, since the data is usually collected by asking adults about their childhood and men might have more stigma. And while the offenders are mostly male relatives, we don't know the exact percentage of female perpetrators, who assault mainly boys. If we talk about domestic abuse, then the percentage of male victims is much higher, about a third of the whole number of victims. The number of female offenders is also higher in domestic abuse than in SA, although they're less violent than male offenders.
The problem is that in social media we have mostly a cases where adult, able-bodied women who know English talk about their experience. They're valid as an experience of particular people, but they're bad as a research data. Another problem is the abstinence of the men rights activists who would talk about this issues.
I love how you point out the stupidity of comments without being rude (like me). ❤️❤️❤️
Are you rude, or are you just blunt? I ask because women are still taught that we should always be nice, and polite to others, while guys are told to not take crap from anyone. And even if you are rude to some people in certain situations, chances are that they deserved to be spoken to harshly. ✌️& 🫶 from 🇨🇦 And Happy Pride Month 🏳️🌈
@@louisejohnson6057 Oh! Good question! I think I'm blunt, but because I just say things without softening them first I'm considered rude.
Thank you.
Men will act like this in response to women's trauma then be surprised when women don't care about "male loneliness". If women are getting blank stares and eye rolls when discussing the physical harm and trauma they face, why should men get empathy and compassion when discussing how hard it is to date?
Why do you put male loneliness in scare quotes?
@@jackhughes9896Because men place that burden of loneliness on women. Instead of developing their own emotional maturity, helping other men do the same, and becoming active parts of social and emotional support systems.
Instead of just beneficiaries who complain about "male loneliness" once all of that support and validation is more and more being reserved for people who can give as well as take.
Us women got the same amount of male support that these men are now getting: almost none. If they can realise it feels lonely and empty, they should be able to realise that that's what they've been offering the world so far. But too often that's not what happens at all.
@RadishTheFool A lot of men try to do that but they're not very successful at it a lot of times. Loneliness is generally not something that's self-inflicted or that happens by choice, often times people experience it when their attempts at friendships aren't reciprocated by others.
Hey. I do really love how you debunk absurd toxic masculine content and you're often a voice of reason. I sometimes worry a little bit about how you approach some topics though. I am... maybe a man. An adult who was born male at least. Still figuring that out. I'm going to be a bit vulnerable here (this is the internet so big mistake probably but I'm taking the risk).
I've always suffered from reeeaaallly intense self worth issues. I have really intense emotions that have often felt out of my control. I get really really bad intrusive thoughts. It's taken me a lot to gain control of my emotions and I can still slip up from time to time. Multiple women in my life have suffered due to certain men and the ramifications of that give me a very complicated relationship with masculinity. When people criticize men as a whole, I have a hard time not feeling like I'm being criticized for being in a box I don't even want to be in.
I remember hearing a girl in a psychology class say that we should "k1ll all men". This isn't like an intentional response but I had a really bad panic attack from her saying that. Maybe the fear is worse from the fact that height and weight wise I'm built like a woman... so I don't feel like I have the same sense of safety that most men seem to have.
Anyway, maybe this isn't a common experience. Maybe it's not the one that needs to be talked about more. You focus on the much more common problem of women living in fear of toxic masculinity. I honestly don't really have a name for what I experience, but when I see videos like this from someone I've learned to open up to, it's kind of rough for me personally (I know, it's not about me).
I don't hear other people talk about this experience, so I don't even know if it's close to common... but it's my experience. I didn't know if maybe I could share a different perspective with you... No idea if you or really anyone will see this comment, but I at least hope someone can either have their view expanded by it or feel understood. For anyone reading this, try your best to spread positivity. Most of us could sure as hell use some.
My heart goes out to you. I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to find a very positive and loving therapist. I spent a lot of years in therapy with an amazing psychologist and he really helped me. These are troubling times and just being alive right now is tough. So, invest in yourself and seek wise counsel. You may have to try several therapists before you find the right one. I will be sending you loving thoughts. You deserve to be loved. Never forget that. And hug yourself every day and tell yourself that you are a beautiful human being.
Women shouldn't have to stop sharing the negative experiences they have with men just because you obviously need therapy. You are absolutely making it about you. If you don't like people spreading negativity, speak up and speak out more when men do shitty things. Be like this guy. It will probably do wonders for your self esteem. There are organisations that help teach young men positive, healthy masculinity, and how to stand up and do the right thing. Offer to volunteer.
I understand, I think. I get a sort of similar feeling when people talk about weaponized incompetence and men not contributing to household labor (I have some physical issues and I don't know that I'd be able to do much more than those types.) I know they don't mean people like me, sometimes they even give a disclaimer stating as much, but it still makes me feel like a burden. Obviously the solution isn't to forbid everyone from discussing important issues just because it upsets me. And it definitely stems from insecurity, for me at least, but should we really only consider the feelings of those who have 100% confidence? "Insecure" isn't another word for evil, even if evil is often rooted in insecurity. I just appreciate that I get disclaimers instead of "if this bothers you, you're part of the problem." None of which is to say that everyone needs to shut up about toxic men or sugarcoat the topic to death! But I do wish people didn't make sweeping statements sometimes, despite all the very valid reasons to do so. And more than that I wish the experience you're describing was talked about more. I feel like it's something a lot of people bring up in bad faith, so naturally folks get defensive when they hear it, and that's really a shame.
@@JamAttack my brother I hear your pain. I urge you please do not doubt who and what you are. You are a man. Embrace your masculine nature. Pursue truth and justice. Show mercy to the merciful and kindness to all regardless of their relation to you. Feed the hungry and cloth the poor.
Let me tell you the final acts of the most masculine man who ever lived. After being beaten and marred beyond recognition, His flesh flayed off by the whips he was lashed with, and a crown of thorns placed atop His head, He stood and carried His cross. A punishment that was never His to begin with but one he accepted with a resolve unlike any other because His torture was less painful to Him than the knowledge that those He loves would perish. He sacrificed Himself in the ultimate act of love. An act so powerful it forever split time into 2 distinct periods.
Despite dying during the ordeal this man still lives to this day and wants to have a personal connection with you. He is knocking patiently. Will you invite Him in?
I had a chat with a guy friend and it is astonishing to think guys think that guys have as rough too in dating apps. He was comparing harassment that women get on dating apps vs guys time being wasted by a woman.
It's because there a lack of want or desire to have empathy.
Makes me think of how I have a nerve disease that causes extreme pain spikes and have had someone actually say they hang nail hurting was equivalent. Some people are just selfish and can't share sympathy.
I think your friend defenetly needs to get good empathy, and in general, women do get to experience more bad things however, i dont think you should just assume that men dont have it rough, i think in general its less rough than women but its still rough, they have to deal with toxic masculinity because of the patriarchy, the fact that so many of them are ashamed to admit they are victims of assault and other stuff, and yes, these two things can be done by men to, but what matters is that i dont think you should assume anyone actually has it 100% easy, they have it less rough but rough non the less
@@marmolejomartinezjoseemili9043 I wasn't saying men don't have it rough, and rather you assumed thats what I was thinking. I meant it as they think they have it just as rough as women on certain things only to give an example like my friend did. I was referring to dating apps in particular in this example.
Men can have it quite rough, the problem is lot of them seem to compare traumatizing stuff to more trivial things. Is it annoying you could have been doing other things in the time you were putting toward someone? Yes, but it's not as scarring as constantly being treated like a sex toy, threats, and the unwanted dick pics.
@@NottLogi well, i think we agree on everything then, but i didnt assume anything, you literally put "It is astonishing to think guys think that guys have it rough too" why didnt you say instead "It is astonishing to think guys have it as rough as women" or something like that
@@marmolejomartinezjoseemili9043 I'm having cognitive pain and issues with little help by doctors. It varies throughout the day but I also have said "fish" when i've meant to say "shit" before. it simpyl didn't come out right.
Was thinking recently about how social media brings EVERYTHING to the surface. It’s good because people can find solidarity against the weird stuff but it’s bad because people find solidarity in the weird stuff.
The slow closeup was perfect!!!! Thank you for encouraging all of us to see that it's time to shift the whole thing, not just complain that we don't like what we see. It's time for us to help each other improve-we all deserve it.
I’m glad you made this. Men are in a tough spot. Everything they were raised to be/do/expect has been challenged and even proven to be bad communication, wrong action, and even explicit assault. It’s gonna take a lot of courage for each individual to recognize how much more is inside of them, and how excited we are to meet the men who can sit with these truths. I don’t know what kind of men you’re becoming, but thanks for every effort you make.
Um...No it hasn't. I'm in my 60s now and the guys that treat women badly have always been considered little cowardly manchildren. They have always existed, but they were never admired.
The idea that women are nothing but housecleaning baby machines was out of fashion at least from before I was born, if it ever was in fashion.
It was never OK in my lifetime to SA a woman, no matter what.
The stuff that is new isn't anything new, it's a refinement of what we already knew.
I'm backing this. I genuinely miss men in my life. Even with the ones I have in my life, it's still a fight for getting them their emotionak management kit upgrades and communication upgrades.
They are so poorly supported my their peers who equally struggle with these resources, that women around them are doing all that heavy lifting and trying to be faster than systemic misogyny (directed at men, yes, sexism automatically affects all ppl no matter the gender) and their clumsy peers put that effort to shambles, via their bulldozing manner of doing or saying anything. 😮💨
It's getting better. There's more vocal men out there supporting their peers by giving directions and actually helpful instructions. But it's still half a war.
Fighting WITH my ladies for our own sanity. Meanwhile fighting for the gents, often against their stashed systems of operations and while also occasionally being hit with their backlash. Two fights for ppl to address the mad impact of the generational trauma that sexism brought upon us. But one is "mutual support" while the other is "work". And I wish men understood how that alone is already not how things should go.
@@torinju Not sure what you’re responding to directly - I agree with you it’s never ok to SA anyone. And also this information, while not new, is caught in a tango. Every time we take a step forward, someone wants to take a step back. But take a look at the politicians, the government officials and we see a staggering number of them promoting violent behavior, demeaning women for our freedoms and racing to put barbaric laws in place that are life threatening. But they have praise from enough people to keep going. So when you say no it hasn’t, I ask you… what hasn’t?
@@DezMarivette Well, I'm not disagreeing with you as there is this section of men that feel all emasculated. What I disagree with is the idea of 'Men are in a tough spot'.
It's not that difficult to treat women as human beings. It never has been. People of good will have always viewed women as human beings. The only thing that has changed is an awareness of some things that were considered acceptable are not anymore, but that is a good thing for people of goodwill. There is always room to do better.
The guys like Andrew Tate have always been out there, but they were always considered ridiculous by 'real men'. What's new is that there is a bunch of whiny dudes that are following him because they think 'that was the way it used to be'.
@@KxNOxUTA Yes thank you! Trying to move faster than systemic misogyny is so accurate!! And yes, it’s disheartening how few support resources seem to have when it comes to these emotional upgrades. Alas it really has to be mutual and this channel has been refreshing. Reminds me that they’re out there!
When people talk about racism , I don’t get triggered , it’s their experience and it’s awful , I don’t get triggered be because I don’t act like that , so why would a man get triggered or get annoyed if anything he should get triggered to protect , masculine men are so attractive and I’m not talking about his height, muscles or income , that has nothing to do with masculinity
If anything, the discussions about endemic, structural racism gives white people ammunition to act in appropriate ways and maybe confront racism in fellow whites. (Example: When I was upset that a story of mine got an angry comment about a racist use of language, I immediately halted and said "Oh wait, these are those 'white woman's tears' I've been reading about, trying to make their anger all about my hurt feelings," and I remembered how often gratuitous misogyny had ruined something I was reading; it made me edit the story, fix the language, and respond with an apology for the offense.)
Eh.. it's an upsetting topic. I'll admit I left Twitter because of these topics.
I didn't shut down women or tell them they shouldn't talk about it I just realized I couldn't handle it anymore for my own mental health.
Which, yeah, that's a privileged position and ability. Not going to disagree. But I have bipolar disorder so my tolerance is fairly low.
The downside is my loneliness has gone up.
I still haven't figured out a good balance and I am not sure there is one.
@@squiddwizzard8850There is one. You want to be the one to open closed social media groups and be the one to set the rules. You can choose to ban topics or to give them a specific space that it avoidable.
Discord is a fantastic example.
They have "venting" channels. Sometimes they even have rules there to "only comment to support, mind consent. Do not reply to start a fight over the topic".
If you do not want to run a channel you can just join a community that is like this. "Healthy Gamer" is a community that even is all about mental health but has so many channels and sections that you can easily choose topics you can handle and mute channels temporarily or permanently. :) It's one of these places that teach exactly that healthy balance and more. Love that community!
I'm proud ADHD brain owner, so I can relate to overwhelm struggles. And turns out discord works best for me (if it's run right!)
Because in the backs of their minds they understand that they are in agreement with the inflicted trauma. They feel women somehow deserve the trauma based on some perceived plight or imaginary friendzone exile they’ve experienced. Because they k is that they would’ve been one of the onlookers minding the business that pays them because they would do little to stop the assault…because they too fear men.
They are triggered because they know we are right to fear men, but they know they can’t be an ally to women because their alliance would come with a “transaction fee” most women wouldn’t be willing to pay.
If ya don't like it, get yer boys in line!
I'm just waiting for bears to start releasing videos asking why there are suddenly so many women in forests. How are they supposed to get rid of us because nothing they're doing is scaring us away? Also, fun fact: female bears are raising their cubs near humans and traffic to protect them from male bears.
Encountered a bear on my property yesterday. I think the poor thing was more scared of me than I was of it. Galloped away the second I stood up (not knowing it was there) throwing glances over its shoulder 😅
Encountered a bear on my property yesterday. I think the poor thing was more scared of me than I was of it. Galloped away the second I stood up (not knowing it was there) throwing glances over its shoulder 😅
@@deconstructing7307 that's because bears are cannibals. The male will kill and eat them and the female will finish eating the corpse if it's too late when she drives the male off. The nature of other animals isn't the same as ours even if they do give us some insight as to how mammals work. Other ape species behaviors are especially fascinating to look at since humans are also apes. They more closely reflect human behaviors than any other mammal
I bet you the comments of the first video were probably “As a man, I also have experienced...” or “Women haha amirite fellas?”
To be absolutely fair, if the end of that first quote is someone actually voicing an experience in which they were negatively affected by a woman, it should be voiced even if that space isn't the best one to do it in. But if what you mean by the first quote is "I've experienced so many videos featuring women voicing their problems with men" then ya I ain't defending them not understanding *why* so many videos like that exist.
@castform7 exactly. Male victims are victims too. They deserve just as much support and love
@@castform7 I support male victims too, heck, I have had horrible memories of those with men at a young age (At like 7 by my uncles and cousins) so I know it, however, male victims who often bring it up in defence or just in a “Oh women experience this bad thing? Well as a man, even I experienced it” which kinda doesn't help anyone and even makes the women look bad for voicing themselves.
@@Pratt11 Extremely fair point. It's why I said that this wasn't a place to do it. It's the same principle of some men only discussing very real and severe issues the gender has to face on International Women's Day. Voicing serious issues only as a response to someone else speaking about an injustice is not productive and feels very demeaning in my book for anyone who does it.
I just saw comments the other day where a guy was like "it's hard being a man. Do you know how it feels to always be rejected and women saying no to you?" Saying that's why they're depressed and want to off themselves.
They don't realize that's their own problem. They aren't getting harassed and attacked for those reasons. To me, it sounds like a luxury if the worst thing you have to deal with is being told "no" once in a while.
Thank you!
The slow creep of your face getting closer and closer to the camera just made this feel all the more real. It's LITERALLY how those guys view the world.
The slow dramatic zoom 😂
Trust me these stories ain't fun for me either (as an afab woman) but I'd much rather be aware of the dangers and let people speak than not
What's funny is I'm a man and i know the difference between men attack women and all men attack women. It's not complicated.
If you're not harming women and you call out the guys that do. You're good! And most women will see that through your actions or word of mouth. If you can't do this simple thing then you are part of the problem and that's why you're offended when people call out these guys that hurt women.
Sorry but no amount of bad faith arguing or false equivalences will change that. Also calling out other bad things doesn't diminish this topic.
Perhaps you are ignorant about it, so I also want to inform you that there are lots of women who also take the "men are trash" things seriously in the way that it is in fact all men.
There is a movement called 4B, which basically encourages all women to remain single because men are not worth it and need to be better. Nothing wrong with being single of course. In fact if you are happily single I highly encourage those women to find their peace in doing so and not listen to the preaching of marriage! 😁
But there are lots in that space that also vowed to just not engage with men anymore unless strictly necessary, or who go out of their way to actively discourage men from doing stuff that makes them happy as well.
So I believe the amount of videos talking that "man are trash" or any sort of variant thereof, does in fact influence the way women think about ALL men, not just targetting SOME men.
@owendejong9711 that's a misrepresentation of 4b, but I suspect that's intentional spin on your part.
@@Drosenv 4b got misrepresented the moment western feminist tried to co-opt it as an international women's movement when it's an Asian cultural movement originating from Korea
I'm sincerely so happy and lucky that I found your channel!
I have some misandry tendencies in me (I know about it and I'm NOT proud of it - it's coming from my experience of dealing with men in my life and probably from my own lack of maturity as a person) but hearing your point of view helps me heal my soul! ❤
I know that there are truly good guys out there - I just wish so much for them to talk more online!
And thank you for doing that! From the bottom of my heart - thank you for being a good person and for finding time and courage in yourself to speak up!
I wish you all the good things! Stay healthy and be happy! 🌷
edit: grammar 😖
The thing for good guys is that misandry being celebrated and holding women to objective standards being called misogyny kills any incentive for them to speak up or involve themselves with many women
maybe men wouldnt have to hear about it so often if they werent assaulting women all the time... maybe we wouldnt complain if we hadnt been taught since childhood we need to avoid men (because it's sad but true). maybe if we keep making noise about it something will FINALLY click in the male brain that its unacceptable. i've been assaulted by a "friend", i've been harassed by coworkers, bosses, family friends. i've been r@ped by a boyfriend. it started in elementary school and no i didnt "develop early". just tall, thin, and blonde. enough for so many men to think they have a right to say or do what they want. even people who say they care about you still find a way to treat you like you arent even human and worth the slightest bit of decency.
Ugh, sounds like my spawn points. They argue that my chronic health problems (that they don't believe are real) are harder for them to deal with than for me to deal with. Because apparently it's harder for them to have plans cancelled last minute because I'm throwing up and therefore can't safely drive 80 minutes, than it is for me to throw up all day, have to cancel plans, and be guilt tripped that I don't care about anyone else's feelings. Why anyone would be mad that someone throwing up cancelled on *dinner* plans I will never understand.
Irony much?
Seriously it's hard to avoid guys who have no idea their knee-jerk impulse is to put me in my place when I'm just trying to live on the same planet
Thank you soooo much for this!! After many years of online dating, I have just recently come to the same conclusion.. finally.. most men are just not as empathic as women. It's disheartening and a sad truth but it explains so much of my experiences with men. I wish we could clone you Mr, Speech Prof.. you obviously have empathy galore and its a beautiful thing!!!
@@ms.vsmith7881 do you think men should be free of involuntary child support?
Thank you that was really powerful because of your building the gravitas and zooming in subtly so your face filled the screen, and then just a cut to the words. These Men really need to see and hear how they sound. I don’t feel threatened an insecure,when a Woman expresses her trauma at the hands of other men, because I was a childhood victim to male strangers I’m now a survivor, but I still live with the aftermath of those assaults and I’m nearly 60 and it first happened 53yrs ago. I do find it hard when a Woman sees me as a predator, because I certainly don’t want anyone to be afraid of me, but I understand it 100%, and don’t get offended, I feel bad that that woman or women have to feel that unsafe, because it’s a horrible feeling. I don’t drink alcohol, so I avoid pubs/bars anyway unless I’m seeing a live show music or performance stuff, but I definitely leave straight away if a guy is winding up and is potentially dangerous my hyper vigilance takes care of that.
It's so simple, just click away.
Don't make their story about you,
Don't whine in the comments about how you have it worse,
Don't slide into their DMs to call them nasty names,
Just click away.
I can see how this would affect someone's psyche, but this conversation's not against him. It's not a personal attack, it's a social issue. Yes it's sad that woman choose the bear, because it means we can't trust our own species to be safe. Show us that you are a safe person.
what's this I keep hearing about choosing the bear.
@@Quasar0406 It's an age-old discussion that recently popped up again. If you were alone in the woods, would you choose to be alone with a random man or a random bear? Most would choose the bear because bears are predictable and rarely threaten humans. Humans threaten humans all the time, and you don't know what you're getting with them.
@Whattimeislove-ec8xr Not to mention, a bear can’t do worse than eat you. Humans can.
My (emotionally abusive) ex used to say that having your partner be raped is the worst thing that can happen to a man. Possibly the worst thing that could happen to anyone at all ever. I just stared at him.
Me: ...You don't think it's worse for HER to be the one who got raped?
Him: I mean, it's way worse for the person whose loved one is hurt! I can't think of anything that would be worse!
Me: ...
Me: ... Nothing comes to your mind at all?
Him: It's way worse to be the one who has to comfort them!
(There's a reason I dumped his ass and removed him from my life completely. That boy was every flavor of fucked up.)
Classic narcissistic trait. I've been horribly ill my whole life, dad never took me to a doctor because a. He somehow knows better than all of them and b. The less than a year of treatment I would have needed would have cost the family a couple vacations.
But "watching me being in pain" "grieves" and "hurts" him worse than the first 20 years of my life being filled with swollen joints (like squishy to the touch), fevers, fainting spells, monthly cramps so bad my back would lock and my legs would lose sensation and blood flow, migraines, inflamed eyes, skin conditions, non stop nausea, jaw issues from crooked teeth, and ankle sprain that took 5 years to heal, an autoimmune disorder...with what a weak, whimpering, simpering cretin he is, it may well have hurt him worse with his complete intolerance of inconvenience, responsibility or hardship. But even then i doubt it.
Classic narcissistic trait. I've been horribly ill my whole life, dad never took me to a doctor because a. He somehow knows better than all of them and b. The less than a year of treatment I would have needed would have cost the family a couple vacations.
But "watching me being in pain" "grieves" and "hurts" him worse than the first 20 years of my life being filled with swollen joints (like squishy to the touch), fevers, fainting spells, monthly cramps so bad my back would lock and my legs would lose sensation and blood flow, migraines, inflamed eyes, skin conditions, non stop nausea, jaw issues from crooked teeth, and ankle sprain that took 5 years to heal, an autoimmune disorder...with what a weak, whimpering, simpering cretin he is, it may well have hurt him worse with his complete intolerance of inconvenience, responsibility or hardship. But even then i doubt it.
Thank you for being you!
"Do you see how you sound?" welp, the problem is they don't, cause they only scream into their echo chambers....
Guess us men could just slow down on social media, then. Not gonna lie, hearing that negativity surrounding us can be discouraging and depressing for some of us (me included), so, as a guy myself, it's only understandable...
... But we all know it's not something that came out of nowhere, in which women simply decided to start """hating""" us out of the blue.
If it hurts your self-esteem, you can always decide to avoid seeing that kind of content, but those women don't have the option to avoid being harassed.
You, a good guy, CANNOT measure your own weight against all the bad guys in collective and expect to win, so just focus on doing your part, as little and apparently non-fruitful as it may seem to you.
Hey king you dropped this 👑
From what ive seen these men will claim to be victim and attack women in the same sentence. If "good" men are takeing women speaking out about the lots of bad men personally, then instead of blameing, shaming, and belittling woman they should put forth that same energy to the men giving "them" a bad name.
Sometimes I feel embarrased or like a burden when I share about some bad things that have happened to me, and I know that both genders have been through abuse, of course. But I feel embarassed or ashamed when people act like I'm burdening them just for sharing my own experiences, and I wonder to myself if it's so hard to hear about imagine what it was like to go through it..
i absolutely agree. but there's too many people disregarding other peoples experiences and trauma due to disingenuous people are just straight up hateful to everyone for no reason. it's agitating to see actual victims go unnoticed due to EVERYONE also being a victim.
Bingo. Sometimes it's harder to believe an actual victim because so many are playing victim for some kind of advantage or attention. Our ex president is the king of that.
But I don't think ALL men should be shamed for what the problematic men are doing or being like. I am genuinely so sorry for all the nice and good men who are just shamed out of nowhere for stuff they didn't do or think. (And all of this comes from a feminist girl btw)
If it were posed as 1 out of every 4 women are/have been assaulted, ask them how many women they know on a personal level. Mothers, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, cousins. Might put it more in perspective for them. Oh, actually someone I know?
That slow zoom in is absolutely beautiful, lol! Love it!
I had to keep pulling my phone away to combat the devastating zoom of perspective
lol I'm on my laptop it got quite intense.
In all fairness, the OP did not allude to cases of harassment, assault or stalking. He just showcased clips of people saying men are the problem. This is a more general complaint that can range to broader issues like men not wiping their ass, etc.
His point then that not all men do that is less tone deaf and more understandable than if he were peeved people were reporting cases involving violence.
The video isn't dismissing the problems women are going through. It's expressing the generalization men have to deal with as being seen as agressive predators who are out to get women when in reality most men are decent peole who'd rather see women safe. There's shitty men who've done terrible things to women but we don't have control of the actions of others just as the same as the fact there will always be murderers out there. You act as if suffering is a competition but it's not we all suffer. You guys will never understand we're not trying to 1 up women we're trying to be heard
Thank you. Amazing way of putting this
Nobody wins in oppression olympics. We stop playing when we're too depressed to keep going
Chesko, I simply adore you. Platonically of course. ❤
Oof that black screen at the end hits hard. Good job.
This argument makes it seem like men get offended and act defensive whenever they hear about a woman having a bad experience with a man, which obviously isn't an appropriate response, however I don't think it's very common. I've only ever seen that in response to people being sexist and making generalizations against men. There's a difference.
@@bradleyc.5425 context and pragmatism are allergens to this dude and those that think like him
What it’s like to be a man? As if I care…. I ran out of empathy few years ago.
You never cared. Shut up.
@@user-rm5jj9qw9tIs this what it's like being a man? Not believing others and telling them to shut up?
No wonder men are afraid of emoting.
You're part of the problem.
The only men i understand being hurt and being distraught about it are trans men(one of which i am). We spent our whole lives being women, experiencing horrible shit and misogyni and dysphoria, and now, when we finally are trying to be comfortable, we are shut down for being men, when talking about our reproductive rights ect. I've been told i can't even talk about ableism, transphobia and the like because i'm a man, but when people thought i was a cisgender woman, i was allowed to talk about transphobia. I spent years trying not to be a man because i had to choose between being a man, or being part of my minority groups. I'm litterally not even allowed to be proud of who i am, not even in the trans community, because being proud of being a man is talked down about. this is often talked about in the trans masc spaces
Honestly, I don't know if there ia more of the original video,but I don't think it was made to be mean spirit or misogynistic
But maybe I am being too hopeful
I think it’s less about intent and more about effect. It is absolutely uncomfortable to hear people speaking about some of the horrific things people do, especially if you are a part of the group doing those things, but centering yourself as one of the “good” people not doing these things and thus, a victim, doesn’t solve anything.
The solution to hearing less women complaining about men being terrible is not to have women be quieter about their experiences, but rather to be an active part of dismantling the system that makes those experiences so common. I’m not mad at women for being upset, I’m mad that I see so many men staying quiet about these issues.
@TheRealSpeechProf they aren't just quiet -- they straight up defend a dude they don't know because they know they too have done some creeper things. I was dating a dude and somehow I brought up I was graped at festival (I was sober, dude pretended not to be sober) and dude's first response to ask if the guy was messed up because somehow it was an excuse for him and the fact that I was sober mean I had the onus of responsibility of someone else's action.
@@dermaspaceSC Ah yes, the double-standard of SA when it comes to intoxicants: If the man was drunk/drugged/etc., then "the poor guy didn't know what he was doing, it's not his fault this happened," and he's acquitted. If the WOMAN was drunk/drugged/etc, then "she should have known better, it's her fault this happened," and he's acquitted.
@@TheRealSpeechProfHey Speech Prof. It is not men's responsibility to solve women's problems just like it's not women's responsibility to solve men's problems.
Men don't owe women anything, just like women don't owe men anything.
Thank you for accidentally agreeing with me. This is our problem.
It's a tale as old as time. Now in the social media outlet we all have a greater chance of being heard.
Just because there are good Men does not mean this is meant to hurt you. We just can't be gaslit anymore.
Maybe as a good Man call out your hommies for being foul! There's always an asshole in a group of guys. The rest play it off "hoping" he's kidding, because you go way back and it's hard to believe.
Start treating every guy friend as if they are trying to date your daughter whether or not you have kids. As a person of a certain sex hold those in that same sex to higher standards call them out for being shwag!!
Have definitely had friends where you're never sure if it's a joke or not. Really frustrating. It's like you know they're bad news but you're not sure why. Just never certain of what's genuine about them.
Thank you so much
Yeah I do hear it there is a difference between saying you survived something and saying you hate my entire gender for something another horrible man did we don’t endorse them I’m not him people fight sexism with sexism racism with racism these days makes no sense
"Men are the problem." "Men are the problem." "Are men trash?" Those are the first three quotes from this video and this seems to be the issue that the original poster seems to have a problem with. What if we substituted the word "men" with a group that is recognized as vulnerable. Read those same three quotes, but put in "trans people" in the place of the word "men." Or put in "African Americans," or "women," or "Jews," or any other marginalized group and see how it reads. Because when you put in those other groups, it reads like hate speech. And that's because it is.
We have a problem in our culture where when we try to defend a marginalized group, we often stray into hating the group we see as guilty of oppressing said marginalized group. We start to believe that because there are abusive men who abuse women, all men must be abusive and/or all men are somehow to blame. Because some white people actively engage in racist behavior, every white person gets painted as part of the problem. Even if you're white and haven't engaged in racist behavior yourself, you get told you need to do certain things to remedy the problem. Not because it's the decent human thing to do, but because you're white and you need to atone for your whiteness.
We need to stop trying to solve social problems by scapegoating groups of people. The answer to sexism isn't more sexism. The answer to racism isn't more racism. Being male doesn't make me evil. Neither does being white.
PS The rebuttal from @The Speech Prof, in this context, feels very much like a straw man argument. The OP, in the context of what is shown, doesn't seem to indicate that he feels like violence against women is ok or that sexism directed at women should be swept under the rug. From what is shown, it seems like he doesn't want to be automatically classified as the enemy or evil because he has a penis. My hope is that we can all agree that sexism, and prejudice in all it's forms, is wrong and we shouldn't perpetuate it.
You are wasting your breath man. Speechprof just wants money from angry, lonely women. He doesn't actually care about any of this.
If he did he wouldn't be making it worse
Well. Here in germany 98 % of rape is commited by men. Are all men rapists? Of course not. But almost all rapists are men. If we are not allowed to say facts anymore, we will never improve anything. And history shows that. Violence against women commited by men hasn't become any better in the last decades. In fact it sometimes even increased. But we should stay silent about it?
I am a straight woman and I am very attracted to men. I love men. And I absolutely know that not every man is a bad person or a criminal. But far too many men are dangerous and we need to be allowed to adress this.
I bet if it was vice versa we wouldn't even have this conversation.
If any man is getting those video on social media, it's because he's finishing watching them. It's called an algorithm. Watch a few puppy videos in a row and you'll get those instead.
I don't think sb. should call himself a "nice guy" if he complains about the victim and not the perpetrator.
Sorry... we have to tell all of you... because when it happened you weren't there to protect us 🥺🥺 so can you please prove you're one of the good ones?
Would you volunteer and add your number to our speed dial so we can call you and you can come save us if they threaten to do it again?
Can you go talk to them and tell them to stop?
If they don't, can you MAKE 'em stop?!
Would u take us to the 👮♂️ station so we can report and not get called crazy and institutionalised because they don't know the difference between a psychotic attack and utter fear and desperation?
Would you fight for us?
Or are you there, quiet, keeping silent because in your mind you're projecting the things you've done in the past and the lies you've told in the past and thinking: "Yeah, but what did SHE do to deserve it?" 🥺 Are you one of the good ones? How do I know?
They all "look" like you 😔...
🙏🏼🙏🏼♥️♥️
I don't think someone without empathy is ever going to be able to see what they sound like.. they might start to pretend to get it lol because they know that other people think it's problematic, but they're still going to think exactly the same thing and go about life in exactly the same manner
Maybe guys do need to do more on calling out misogynistic behaviour, but also maybe women need to do more on calling out misandrist behaviour. If you want to fight injustice, we gotta meet each other halfway.
Not only do they not hear how they sound, seeing this would only make those kinds of people quadruple down.
While you have a very valid point, this does feel like a bit of a straw-man argument. Sure, there are *some* instances of people with this attitude, but I'm pretty sure most men will look at a woman being "stalked or harassed" and be completely on the woman's side. What we are frustrated by is the fact that "men bad" seems to be the only narrative certain people use anymore. To the point that every little problem in their life is either a man's fault or something a man should solve, while taking no responsibility for their own flaws. Some go so far as to act like men *in general* are evil and should have to make reparations for this inherent evilness.
Obviously, not everyone on that side of the debate hold these views, but that's kind of my point. With the oversaturation of social media, it's easy to find someone with a ridiculous or extreme viewpoint and act like everyone who disagrees with you holds the same view. And because the most controversial takes get the most attention, those extreme views naturally rise to the top of the algorithm. It creates a false polarization that only serves to divide us more and more.
Instead of firing back and forth with these "gotcha" videos, we should be striving to understand the other side's perspective and acknowledge that the most extreme viewpoint doesn't represent the majority.
Very well put! I can see what both sides of the argument are trying to say, but it's so frustrating to see this gender war instead of men and women coming together to solve our social issues
True, sooo true, I've been scrolling so far through this comment section until I saw your message, I'm glad to see another person who isn't trying to own anyone in an argument, and who sees a greater perspective on this whole problem. If only more people were like you, the discussion would be so much healthier
@@ostyavoronipopemakaroni9007 anybody trying to win an argument has already lost because they've set up a dichotomy where they can lose. To put it simply if being wrong is to lose and being right is to win then nothing else but the truth matters. Stick to what you know and pursue truth and you shall become bullet proof, metaphorically speaking ofcourse. Do not test with guns and live ammo
Gold! Pure Gold! The way you zoomed slowly in on your face. Dude... you the best. Everyone of your videos should go viral
A lot of their "what about me" is also driven by their desire to not believe us.
Oh son, the choice to do that very slow focus in on your face while the person talking makes things more and more about them, super effective.
I do think there's a tendency at times to dump on innocents for the bad behavior of others. Easy Target Syndrome. It's really unfortunate, but almost feels inevitable. Someone badly needs to vent, and takes it out on the person nearest to them. I'm sure many guys feel like, ok, I'm being rejected, talked down to and used, and now trauma-dumped on. Next step is to listen to a post about 'nice guys aren't real' because someone got sick of playing doormat to someone else. I can understand both perspectives. In general, you've got to give empathy to get it. Just a fact of life for either gender.
As someone who is incredibly tired of men and the carnage they create, I needed to find The Speech Prof. I need to hear a guy who gets it.
Dang‼️ 👀 allow me to elaborate… we’re not talking about our traumas to dig at people who like us or care about using. We talk about our traumas because we’re explaining some reasons why we’re different & bit more sensitive. We also connect with other survivors. Please don’t discourage us about it!
You're talking to the man he's responding to, right?
i do think it is unhealthy and generally just toxic and unhelpful to say that all men are trash cause of this, like if i get hurt in some way by a black person, i would very justifyably be called a racist if i just started saying all black people are bad, so jusy why say all men are trash? say it when youre alone how much you want, just why on social media?
@@marmolejomartinezjoseemili9043
Where did OP say any of these things? Did you comment in the wrong thread?
@@MyWits_End im not talking about op, im talking about the fact that the person in this video as wrong as they are, is rightfully upset that people just say all men are bad and stuff and its just something thats unhelpful
My favorite was when I was arguing with this guy and he was like "not all men are bad stop blaming all men! I'm a nice guy! In fact I have to be scared of other random men too! it's so unfair that I'm expected to fight random men at the bar or on the street to "protect women", or if a girl tells me I have to fight some guy to protect her, I shouldn't have to! It's not just women who walk around fearing random men! Men are also expected to fight random dudes who might be violent or drunk, or might try to rob me!" And I was like "wow thank you for proving my point, Men are the ones out here causing problems" 😅
The problem is that the videos that guy was scrolling past didn't say anything about women or their trauma
I used to take offense to women saying men are trash too. Until I realized that the reason I felt that way is because I believed it about myself. When I realized I’m not trash, that I love myself, and that I am a decent human being with flaws like any other I was then able to empathize better because everything stopped being about me. When you are insecure everything becomes about you, even when the other person actually went through something horrible. We gotta learn to love ourselves, it’s the only way we can truly love and empathize with other people.
@@Kay-zv3mk I'm glad you're no longer self hating, but people who use rhetoric like "men are trash" don't care about people's internal journeys and struggles. They still see you as trash. You are right to not entertain the idea that such lunacy is true. You can be bothered by the terrible use of rhetoric and call it out while loving yourself. After all these statements fail the marginalized group test where if you replace the subject, men, with any other group that is considered to be marginalized then the statement is no longer a morally acceptable statement. This shows that it was never acceptable in the first place
Yeah it doesn't matter though. They are still talking about you when they say men are trash
Thank you
@@JessiD-111 "good men" are men who stay quiet when women generalise and dehumanize men apparently .
@@JessiD-111 be sure to let the decent men in your life know this. Not just through words but also through action. People aren't good by their nature so if you want the world to be a better place it is necessary to incentivize good behavior aswell as disincentivize bad behavior
Yes, lets keep driving the division between men and women farther apart. Lets not focus on ourselves in the moment and try to make the world better. Lets keep generalizing and blaming others for for likes and views. Good stuff, we are really getting somewhere.
The division between men and women has been caused by men behaving like animals and treating women like animals. You reap what you sow, suck it up buttercup, etc.
I wonder why it existed in the first place , men started all this shit and they should end it first😂@darby2darby
I fear that theres an alternate universe version of my dumbass somewhere out there that doesnt realise this is sarcastic😭
Kindred, your straight faced delivery is epic. I know I shouldn't laugh... Due to the actual subject matter, I take this message seriously. However, that delivery is spot on.
That was a nice powerful ending. Thank you.
The struggle session is strong on this channel.
The slow zoom sold it
Thank you. 💕
Love the creeping close up. Subtle way to illustrate the focus on 'ME'.
Goid point. Maybe we all take video rants a little too personally. I am not one those cutesy dogs that lets down the (unrealistic) expectations of my owners.
The fact they're only even hearing women tell their stories because men are being outed as the main predators is what gets me. Coz otherwise, they would just carry on ignoring us and our experiences as per usual