r/Amithedevil for Stealing Candy from a Baby?
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- čas přidán 24. 07. 2024
- Podcast: open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8...
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0:00 Intro
0:09 Bride price
2:45 Husbands side
9:36 Child support
11:28 Playing favorites
14:15 Adult egg hunt
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
"Aita for not wanting yo pay child support for a kid thats not mine?"
No! That's outrageous! How coukd-
"We adopted the child together."
... yeah you go to hell.
100% I thought for sure it was gonna be some other baby daddy who went missing and whatnot but no. If you choose to adopt YOU decided to have that kid, perhaps even more so than a biological kid.
When you get sucked into the narrative only to suddenly remember that this is r/amithedevil and OP can’t be trusted.
I thought it was an affair baby at first. In which case. No, not the butthole.
But he should be paying support for a child he adopted and has his name on the legal adoption papers.
That makes it so much worse, you CHOSE
Yep...
Mattress story; It might sound a little cruel, but if the boys have so many issues with nighttime accidents, why not get them night time pull ups or even a rubber or plastic reusable sheet for the mattress ? Because then there is still a protective measure in case. It's unfair to the daughter to basically be a parent and not have a childhood because their mother won't make the sacrifice herself.
why cruel? its completely normal. my sibling had bed wetting issues because of their adhd and they had these covers on mattress and even a little device to stick in their underwear that would alarm if it got wet so theyd wake up and could go to the toilet. there are ways to handle this without having to force a kid to be responsible, though even without it the daughter needs sleep more than the adult
As an autistic person myself, there's a chance they may not be able to fall asleep with those things because the sensation is unpleasant, but i would hope it's something they at least tried. Disturbing theirs and the daughters sleep to use the bathroom should be a last resort.
This. They make several products to prevent soiling the mattress for people with bedwetting issues.
The parent is clueless, so probably why they didn't think of obvious things like mattress covers and pull ups.
Exactly! My mom got us a plastic protective sheet because my periods were unpredictable and heavy, and it worked very well!
Enjoy Sadie's company while you can, when she grows up you will be lucky if she breathes in your direction.
Heck, all Sadie has to do is call cps. In a lot of states, kids of opposite sexes can't share a room over the age of 8.
So weird the dad thinks it's inappropriate for 3 boys to be together but not 2 boys and a girl.
@FantaOfficialX thanks I won't.
There is not even a translation option lol
@@luvely1062 Report the spammy bot.
@@luvely1062I guarantee you that that Op is a woman. Single-parent with full custody, paranoid about an older son sleeping in the same room as younger ones? I’m what world would any man fit that definition?
The mattress story, Rslash said exactly what I was thinking. How is it in inappropriate for three brothers to share a room, but not inappropriate to force your teenage daughter to share a room with her little brothers? Add in the parentification of forcing her to be the one to wake the boys up, and it's no wonder she's fighting OP
Yeah this is legitimately CPS territory.
If CPS gets involved the two youngest will be taken from the parent nearly immediately, and possibly the daughter (though CPS would likely take her opinion into account, so that might not happen)
This is it exactly. It is not the teenagers job too care for her brothers at night. She didn't have those kids. I could understand if she were asked to babysit once in a while but this is beyond helping out a little. She is struggling in school because of this. Uggghhhh....I really hate the stories where the kids are forced to be the parents.
Yeah, it sounds like that parent is abusing both older kids by making them support the youngest. Do remember that the older teen son ONLY got a room because he WORKS to help pay the bills. Meaning he doesn't work to save up for college or have extra pocket money, no. That teen is working to add money to the family household budget on top of being made to do morning parental duties. (ensuring the kids get to school)
If things are THAT bad that both eldest kids are parentified in order to support the household, either the parent isn't getting the government support they deserve or the parent is being an abuser for their own benefit.
Considering that OP says they love doing their job as a schoolbus driver in the MORNINGS, what ELSE does the parent do with their day? Is that their only job? Could they have a better paying job that makes them capable of supporting their kids more comfortably? Sounds like they could but choose not to because they enjoy their lifestyle. Thing is... That lifestyle is not sustainable for the KIDS.
@@Eppon6 I forgot about where it said that the teenage boy was contributing to household bills. That's not fair either. I only let my teenagers work as long as it didn't interfere with their school work and grades. That was also their spending money. They mostly did what they wanted with it. They also only worked 2-4 hours a day. How many is this kid working that he has enough to pay bills?
I was also thinking the same thing about the bus driving job. My friend is a bus driver but she also then works with the special needs kids during the day to have the extra income. Otherwise she drives bus for about 3 hours in the morning and I don't think the afternoon is as long. Less kids ride the bus home in the afternoon then they do in the morning lol. We live in an extremely rural area so that's why it takes so long on the bus here. I don't even know how long bus drivers work if they live in the city. But he/she didn't talk like he had a job other than just driving the bus. He could easily just go home take a nap for an hour too.
Is OP the mom or dad. I couldn't quite tell. Parts me me think Dad but them something made me think mom too so I wasn't sure.
fact I won't be surprised that when Sadle get older, she cut all contract with OP cause he cleanly choose his boys over his own daughter, and the fact that OP got older son who got his own room, won't help show me he don't care about Sadly, that I got a feeling that OP like this cause either he a old generation type, boys come first women come last or he hate Sadly mother, and take all his anger out on her cause alot parent would do this
That poor adopted child. The best thing for them is if OP stays gone. It would be far more traumatizing if OP comes and goes in the kid's life. The kid deserves loving parents and OP is not that at all.
Im a family lawyer. Ops wife should file for full custody, spousal an chil support immediately. Get a temp order in place long before the divorce is final
Yeah, that was really gross. I need a shower.
Yes. But the ex-wife should make him pay. He did choose to adopt the child, so this is legally his child --> he should pay child support and the therapy costs for the child on top of that.
Omg that poor child. Especially how
Long and difficult a process of adoption is.
I rarely against child support when father don't need to be on but this story OP need to be on like the fact they adopt the kid together and now they divorce he refuse to help her with the kid, that disgusting and I bet the main reason why they divorce cause OP was treat that kid like shit and his ex-wife take the kid, I hope she take every penny of his when she put his ass on child support, cause OP it asswhole, I bet he would abandon the child or give him back to the shelter
Sadie: if you ever read this, your dad’s behavior is NOT OKAY. If he can’t care for your brothers he is responsible for applying for respite care. Your family needs a social worker. Please go talk to your school counselor.
I’m pretty sure it’s the mom but even then it still doesn’t change that you’re speaking straight facts.
@@grizzly_manbanimation8436 poster might be assuming that only men can be incompetent. the gender of the parent appears to be unmentioned in tthe story, but OP's name is "mamabear" so....
Totally agree its not fair or safe for boys and girls to Share a Room honestly. Just a ew situation for me, if there were no other rooms I would understand, that there is another Room with a Boy sleeping alone, and on this economy I dont think he would move out at 18 or in his 20's at least, what happens when those two boys are older, and sadie cant not move out herself?
😮@@mrlughI'm not a native English speaker.... Isn't a Mama Bear suppose to be a woman who will do anything to keep her children safe?
If so OP is more delulu than I thought!
@@lilletrille1892 Yes, that's exactly what it means, because getting between an ACTUAL bear and her cubs will end in death at LEAST 90% of the time (assuming youre a fast runner)
Egg OOP: Just wait, Abigail, you'll lose the egg throne the day a new farmer moves into the old crusty cabin on the farmland around the corner.
LMAO I thought that story sounded exactly like Abilgail too 🤣
I did not expect to find a Stardew Valley reference in here, but i am happy i did 😂
Glad I'm not the only 1 who was thinking this
😂
I'm glad someone said it! She is all I thought about the entire story lol
Mattress story; Sadie sharing a room with two brothers is a matter of convenience for the parent so the parent doesn't have to disturb their sleep to care for the children. So oldest boy and Sadie should have their own rooms and the two autistic boys should sleep with the parent.
Yeah I was trying to think of the correct lay out too without moving because I do agree the 16 bit should have his own space but Sadie should 100% have her own space too and I could work it out but BAM the autistic kids should just share with the mother.
Story 3: what you never heard of a pull-up? She can’t do any of the stuff that 16 year-old does because she’s being forced to wake up in the middle of the night to take care of your kids. And how is it more inappropriate for the 16 year-old boy to be in a room with his brothers? But not the 14year-old girl, the one that can’t even get dressed in their own room because there are two little boys in it.
Feels like you’re intentionally sabotaging her so she can’t move out because she too tired to do anything . Get the boys some pull-ups, give your daughter back her bed, and give her some space.
*14 Year old girl.
Yeah, the parent in that story seems to be setting their daughter up for either failure or straight-up going no contact out of hatred for her siblings.
14 years old
She's 14
@@chrispambo1539 oh my bad
@@chrispambo1539 No, she's the non-verbal autistic boys' designated care giver for the rest of her life. At least in the parent's mind. Best she get started early and get used to her role (this is sarcasm on my part).
Also... It is now okay for her to force the poor girl to sleep on the couch with even less privacy than before!!! Too bad the daughter doesn't have family she can go stay with.
3rd story: OP, if you're reading this, I hope you're fully prepared to never see or hear from your daughter again once she turns 18.
If you adopt a child, it IS your child. That's what adoption MEANS. But clearly this kid will be better off if child support is his only contribution.
I would like more information about why adoption was chosen and if he was "forced" into it, but I woud argue that when you adopt, and choose a kid, that child is even more yours than if it just happened biologically.
"She's just better suited to the sensitive stuff" god the misogyny. also forcing a young girl to help her brothers in the bathroom where she will repeatedly see them unclothed is an especially gross level of abusive.
Op is doing parentification, which is a form of abuse
Regarding the mattress story, I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone discussing the adverse effects of Sadie having to wake up in the middle of the night and disrupt her sleep every night. The story already mentioned that it's impacting her ability to succeed in school, but it could also have long-term health effects, and affect her mental and physical development as a growing child/teen.
Yes! Has this kid not gotten a full nights sleep in years?! Also, i can kind of understand needing to work (not really but I’ll humor them), but what about in OPs days off? It’s still Sadie’s job the ?! Like what the actual f*%^???
I've been looking for this comment! That poor girl. The Dad should be getting up. How long has she been doing this?
Second to last story: It's not just sexism, let's just forget parentification too!
It isn't sexism at all. It's assumption on his part.
“I didn’t want to give every kid an egg because i would basically run out”
“I didn’t find it an issue because like 70 kids signed up”
HOW MANY EGGS DID OP HAVE???
I was wondering the same thing. If she wanted to participate then she should have gone for the ones they hide for kids that are a bit older and also stuck at about 10 eggs!!! The ten eggs is only if there were that many to go around.
Lol I don't know what made her think it would be okay to take all the ones off the ground. When I have taken my kids and grandkids to Easter egg hunts, I have always made the bigger kids skip the ones that are really meant for the toddlers.
less than 70
She said "take too long"
@@amberlindsey7112 OP clearly has a form of autism with the wording and behaviour. They lack self awareness extremely.
Sounds like a badly phrased math word problem, lol.
Holy shit. Story 2 reminds me of a girl I dated. She was talking about kids reeeeeally early in the relationship, and said she wanted two, a boy and a girl, that we could get sperm donors and each get pregnant. (How she was going to specify gender is beyond me.)
I told her I had *zero* interest in being pregnant, and if I ever had kids, I’d adopt. She told me that she “could never love someone else’s child.”
I ended things then and there.
Wait wouldn't one of the children be 0% hers by that logic?
With artificial insemination it's possible to encourage the specific gender. The details of how are too complex for a CZcams comment. You also won't find many details online because some of it is ethically controversial and rarely discussed openly.
@@jorgefrade8900 Yeah, it didn’t make a whole lot of sense. Wasn’t thrilled with her deciding to rent out my uterus either.
This bitch had her dream wedding planned out to the T. She showed me the dress she wanted and everything.
I think we dated for like… two weeks. So it wasn’t a difficult decision to nope out.
I'd walk away from that too. I wouldn't want to be with someone who is so sure of their lack of capability to love.
@@Vincent_Beers This was a decade ago, so I doubt that she was that technologically advanced.
But goddamn. People are way too hung up on the gender of their kids.
I am adopted, and if one of my adopted parents had done that to me, i would have totally broken! It's bad enough being rejected by your biological parents, but if the people who went through the very long process to get you because they wanted you so much but then abandoned you as well, there is no coming back from that!!
I, too, was adopted as an infant. My parents hit a rough patch when I was nine. There was even talk of divorce. I am beyond grateful that my parents never gave an indication that they didn’t want me. In the end they stayed together for a total of 51 years till my dad passed in 2021.
@thereallalablue that is amazing! My parents divorced when I was 8, but that didn't change their love for me at all!
also wouldn't the father be legally obligated to pay child support even if the kid is not his biological child? I kept thinking about that, when you adopt a child I would imagine both parents now have full responsability over that child and if they break up one of them have to still pay child support anyway but idk much about that
@Charlie-vr6dr absolutely! When my parents got divorced, my dad had to pay child support. You take on a legal and financial responsibility for that child. Adopting a child is not an easy process. I was born in 1980, and it cost my parents $10,000 to adopt me!
It's so terribly sad so many adopted children think like this. A) your bio parents almost definitely didn't reject you, they didn't want any child. They didn't know you, how could they reject you? (I admit there are some rare exceptions where bio parents give up rights to older children, which can be a rejection and is totally awful of that bio parent). And B) there's nothing to be grateful to your parents for, they adopted because they wanted a child. YOU are a BLESSING to them, like all children, and they adopted you because they wanted you, meaning they owe YOU love and parenting. You owe them nothing, just like any other child. Being adopted rather than biological shouldn't change how you think about your parents or child.
Story 1 and update: There's no coming back from that. No matter the reason there's no forgiving what OP said.
what exactly did he say? sorry i’m autistic i didn’t understand, did he literally give her parents a truck of cattle, or is that some kind of european insult?
@@lularuu6168 it's meant to be a super racist remark, trying to say that black people are "primal and don't understand modern technologies" or something. I don't 100% get it either, I'm autistic too, but I KNOW it's racist
Being a controlling POS is inherent to maleness, and being a racist POS is inherent to whiteness. It's nobody's fault, it's just how men and white people are intrinsically.
I'm African and while it is possible that the bride price included giving her dad some cattle, his comment was meant to wash her down. It pretty much meant that she had no right to say anything because he bought her as his property by paying the bride price or giving her dad the cattle. (Although that's not the significance of the bride price)
In case you didn't understand. He said that he didn't give a truckload of cattle for the parents for the wife to question him. That's super racist and deal breaker. He honoured her traditions but it also means he owns her now. So she shouldn't question his decisions in his house. He also mentioned that even if he had an affair it would be his business and the wife doesn't get to question it bcuz he owns her and not an equal.
Yo. If I was working on something big and my partner accuses me of cheating, but I'm not, the last thing I'd do is justify the cheating I'm not doing.....
Yeeeeepppp. "I'd be well within my rights to!" is not something an innocent partner says. Definitely not a partner who's never considered it in the past.
Yeah OP is def cheating and is now trying to back track
Right?! Like I understand getting absorbed in work and projects to the point of neglecting other parts of your life. I am very guilty of that. But when you are called out on it apologize, both compromise and lay out expectations and both sides have some forgiveness. Don’t double down and say you did nothing wrong. Especially don’t double down and act like you bought your wife therefor she doesn’t deserve to be treated as an equal and you can do whatever you want! I mean dam, I bought my dog and I still feel guilty when I come home late from work and am too tired to play with him. I don’t tell him I took another dog to the dog park instead and he has to get over it!
A part of me thinks he actually is having an affair but had actually legitimately been working late that night. He just got so defensive about being accused of cheating on the one time he wasn’t even with his affair partner that he accidentally said the quiet part out loud 😂
I was with him until that comment. He basically said "I nought you from your father, this is my house and i own you so you have no rights to question me on cheating on you" That was the very worst thing he could've said. It is obvious that after saying shit like that you killed the relationship. _It's not like she is innocent in the story but he is way more of an asshole. Just move on that ship has sailed.
Sadie is gonna be out of that house, never looking back when she turns 18.
Imagine what the poor girl will be able to achieve in just one day once she is able to, for once in her life, get a full night's sleep in one piece without having to wake up and do work all night.
@@Scarlett.Granger I´m sure she´ll be doing something great in her life
Maybe sooner! What if she gets a job too... Will she still be responsible for waking up the 2 younger brother for bathroom breaks?!
@@OldsmobileCutlass1969Va you know she will be cause "she's already used to it and knows how to do it" or some such bs about how he or the oldest son simply can't do it, she just needs to do it.
Child support story - At first, I was thinking "Well, if they are divorcing and she wants child support, I am guessing she cheated and the newborn/young baby turned out not to be his." This would lead to divorce and him rightfully not paying anything. But BAM, adopted and for several years. Dude's a total jackoff.
I thought the same thing, cause we have heard a lot of those stories, but I didnt expect the op to be such an ahole.
If it makes it into this sub reddit it's never that simple
I thought the kid was from a previous relationship rather than cheating
@@franciscolaurean8550Also possible. I was thinking it was something like one of these, too. But no… it was someone who spent the kid’s early formative years as their father and now treats them like a house pet they never wanted. I hate to say it but my husband’s family has a few people like that. Like his dad… who had a messy divorce with hubby’s step-mom after he cheated, and treated THEIR BIOLOGICAL DAUGHTER like she was an afterthought once he married his mistress. But this paragon of manhood still expects his kids to show up to family gatherings. My husband has stopped taking his calls.
Yea it's just dumb
The "not family unless bound by blood" attitude is _the_ thing that causes problems, heartbreak, and trauma for adopted people like me. Let me tell you to anyone, adopted or biological, who needs to hear this: family are the people who treat you like a family should.
Story 3: There's a special place in hell for what OP is doing to abuse that girl.
11:23 I know this isn’t the same thing, but I had recently found an abandoned baby mouse so young it couldn’t even open its eyes yet. I cared for it for 6 days until it sadly died. I actually cried over the loss of this adorable defenseless baby mouse. For OP to just disown their CHOSEN baby after 8 years is the most heartless action from a human.
you are amazing!!
no need to be sad, that mouse was so lucky to be able to pass his last days being loved and taking care of by someone as awesome as you
We don't know that the child was actually "CHOSEN" by the OP. He may have never wanted kids to begin with. It could be that the wife kept harping about it and he finally gave in to shut her up. Still, you'd think that he could at least be decent to the kid. And if this was in the US, he will almost surely have to pay child support. Adoption is a legal acceptance of parental responsibility. Also, bless you for doing what you could for the mouse. At least they knew kindness before they passed.
Mattress story: Sadie is going to go No Contact with her whole family and I won't blame her. Its so inappropriate for OP to have two of her sons in the same room. She SHOULDN'T have to worry about her brothers, OP isn't going to have any contact with her and she'll have herself to blame. I really hate parents that are like that. And on top of that, that 14yo isn't going to want kids. And if she does have kids, she isn't going to force her daughters to share rooms with their brothers. Like, that's so inappropriate. I never had to share a room with my brother unless it was a hotel room or a room at our grandmother's. This story is wrong on so many levels.
You're forgetting the other brother is older than Sadie so it makes sense he has his own room. I think it's rather fucked up if they made him share with the other boys instead. I'm the 2nd oldest of 7 kids where the only boy is the 5th one and my parents have talked about giving him his own room before me and the others older than him and I will fight tooth and fucking nail if there's only 1 opportunity for one of us to have their own room and it's him.
@@user-ug3ry9xu5gYou're messed up, sweetie. It's not appropriate for boys and girls to share. My sister and I shared and our brother had his own room even though he was the youngest of us. When kids are babies or toddlers and don't understand the difference between boys and girls it's okay, but after, no. I've read that in foster care situations after a certain age the foster parents are legally not allowed to house them together.
@@nadinesharp9766 you may have been ok with your younger brother getting his own room but i wouldnt be. i matter too just because im a girl.
@@user-ug3ry9xu5g As I said before, you're messed up. No one is saying you don't matter because you're a girl. People are telling you that boys and girls shouldn't share bedrooms after a few years old. Your reality is that your family consists of a bunch of girls and one boy. With very limited space, the boy gets his own room, the girls share. If it was the other way around and you were the one girl, I doubt you'd think it was unfair then. You don't have to be "ok" with the matter, but you do need to accept reality. Life isn't always fair and we don't always get what we want. For now, enjoy your time with your family. It's really not that long until you're all going your separate ways and there'll probably be times when you'll long for the old days.
I disagree about sharing a room being "inappropriate". I think older children need their own private space, but I don't think there's anything inappropriate about family sharing rooms regardless of gender or age. It implies weirdly sexual things about family members! What are you worried about happening between them??
Playing Favorites: Honestly, it sounds like this is the culmination of Sadie getting progressively exhausted with juggling so many things to do and OP not wanting to help at all. OP is being sexist, and he needs to actually do some of the work here for Sadie's sake
No the brother has should not do a single thing he's already working a part time job for the mom like it or not its not his responsibility either it sucks that the mom is shitty but blaming Ryan is not it
@@dingoatemychild1 They are talking about the dad.
@@dingoatemychild1The little ones should be in his room. Period. The teenage girl shouldn’t be expected to be looking after her younger siblings. And the parent is just fucking awful. He will be lucky if his daughter even bothers to call him after she moves out cause we know damn well she’s never coming to see him. The assumption is that the parent is the dad, not the mom. Since it’s weird for a mother to be sexiest here.
@@MihaelLawliet01 it is a mom she said it in the story
That girl has literally one freaking job and she can't even do that properly. How is this unfair the boy is literally working and helping paying for bills so why should he have to do all the work if she did do the one thing she has to do then she doesn't have any work to do at all and that really would be favoritism.
I don't think the mom's quite as bad as everybody is making her out to be first of all I don't think she's being sexist she's right, the funniest already get doing things to help the family why the hell should the daughter not have to do anything at all. Sounds to me like she's literally just being lazy.
Granted the mom isn't perfect I think but I think the reason she thinks it's an appropriate for her son to be in the boys room isn't sexism against the daughter it might actually be sexism against the Sun.
this is parentification asking your children to do literally one task is not the ramification children can still have chores it's not the end of the world and Opie is right she needs her sleep people who drive heavy vehicles like trucks and school buses not getting enough sleep can actually get them fired and if they're already tight on money losing the one job that is full-time and paying for most of the things would not be helpful just because the daughter wanted to sleep in. And because everybody's saying the daughter is so tired it's ruining her life because she has to wake up literally once if that is the case and it's so exhausting then that's all the more reason Opie definitely should not be the one doing it
I agree with the comments that are saying that there should be a plastic sheet over the mattresses, that is a good just in case measur. I definitely don't agree with the people saying they should have pull-ups though as that again leave just is the idea that they'll just leave the kids to pee themselves and sleep in it until somebody can clean them up in the morning which is not healthy there is a reason we've trained people to stop wearing diapers before the age of for.
And the daughter absolutely should be the one to give up the mattress, the other mattress got ruined because of her mistake and the couch is a communal property and the baby shouldn't be on it if they can't be trusted to keep things clean especially if she can't be trusted to do her own damn job. If she wanted to keep her bed then maybe she should have actually done what she was supposed to do and not skipped out on it.
Story 3:Adopted kids are still your kids,You are still on the hook for child support
I don't know what I was expecting in story 1. But holy shit. He is so selfish and childish. I would love to hear more of her side of the story because I am sure it is worse than what he's telling. I wonder if he ever planned to actually move. It doesn't seem like it.
Funnily enough part of the tradition the first OP pushed onto her ex also allowed the husband to have a second wife. When asked if she was okay with this in her first post she didn’t respond, go figure.
@@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64well that’s a context we definitely needed
White men aren't really capable of not being controlling and supremacist.
@@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64Polygamy only works if it's OK on both sides. There are a lots of tradition which must be carried and lots Which must be erased. Also, the husband took interest in HER culture and wanted to marry her knowing their family traditions. If he didn't want to honour her tradition which was mentioned wasn't going to be too hefty maybe he should have thought about that before asking her hand.
Also, he is just an AH for prioritizing his work with colleague than his wife with unborn child on antidepressants.
@@rubyrubacus9787 That part was only the tip of the iceberg, she herself was pretty uncompromising, stubborn, and racist herself. I mean, she literally said that she hated his country and culture in his post, and her post on Reddit she refused to accept her YTA judgement claiming it didn’t count because Reddit is full of ignorant white people.
10:16 this title had me saying “nah ur not the asshole it’s not ur kid”
then he said adopted and i immediately went “Ooooh buddy you are the dictionary definition of an asshole”
ESPECIALLY HAVING THE CHILD SINCE THEY WERE A BABY???? Oh my god…
Third story : the worst part is that the girl has to give up her bed to a confirmed serial bed wetter!
Right! Why not buy the new bed for sadie instead?
"I can't trust my son not to ruin the couch having an accident, so I'll just let him ruin Sadie's bed, instead."
The one called "playing favorites": I think that 14 yo girl is planning to run away.
Here’s to hoping
@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012not rly a good thing
For story 3: As someone who did used to wet the bed, I can say the dad is being reactive and not proactive. He could invest in some pads, pull ups, or even reusable sheets. Or he could take responsibility and start getting up to make sure the kids go to the bathroom.
Right. I mean, I get it, they drive a school bus, and it's a big responsibility, so I get why OP needs to be well rested. But on the other end, OP's the parent. How the hell is it reasonable to expect your 14 year-old daughter to wake up in the middle of the night to get her two special-needs younger brothers to go potty or clean up after them and then be absolutely exhausted at school due to lack of sleep?
And as rSlash also pointed out, it's inappropriate for the 16-year old son to share a room with two brothers but it's okay for a 14-year old girl to share a room with them?
OP is really failing here...
@@lacko623 Agreed. Plus the 14 year old is a student so she needs her sleep as well. Honestly Op is showing blatant favoritism and sexism. Plus I do think that the two children who have bed wetting issues could be suffering from some emotional trauma that might be causing everything.
Mattress story: haven't seen this pointed out yet but OP is scared that the sun will ruin the couch, something that OP probably uses, so she makes him sleep in the daughters bed so OP isn't inconvenienced and it's only the daughters stuff getting ruined. Like wtf??
My thought hearing the egg hunt story: "Is this Abigail from Stardew Valley?" 😅
Regarding the mattress story - everyone is focused on her "responsibility" to wake the boys up so my opinions on that are redundant, so here are some other takes:
1) Use mattress protectors ffs. I use them and I don't have any issues with bed wetting, it's just good practice, inexpensive, and does not affect the comfort of the mattress. This should be done for all the mattresses in the house, not just the sons'. Goes doubly if you're too broke to replace them. Accidents happen to everyone - could be pets, beverages, vomit, etc, not just pee.
2) the son should continue to sleep on the mattress, it may be a bit stinky but a day's worth of fanning and fresh sheets will get him through the week. Or, put something over the couch to protect it. Letting him ruin her mattress too, what the f? At the very least, immediately follow step 1 to protect her mattress before your troubles double.
3. Put the bed-wetter in nappies at night! JFC, OP is incompetent!
The dad in story 4 is actually abusive imo. Get the special needs kids some nightttime depends or something so they stop destroying mattresses. And a 14 year old responsible for making sure a 9 and 11 year old??????? Somebody save these poor kids
yes childprotection services would have a fieldday there, forcing a 14 year old to play mother.. deprive them of sleep is least of things wrong there
the parent is a mom i believe
Wow the parent needs their sleep for their job, but the daughter doesn't need sleep for school?
And 3 boys can't share a room but 2 boys and a girl can share?
This parent is absolutely horrible
the parent would also be horrible if he made his oldest son share with the youngest 2 boys because he has XY chromosomes. oldest kids should have priority in their own room. doesnt matter the gender.
The 4th story if it took place in the US, the OP could get it trouble for having their daughter sleeping in the room with her brothers. I know at least in my stete you can't have children of the opposite aex sharing a room.
Not sure exactly where in the US you are, but there are no laws on different gender children sharing the same room.
There are certain agencies that require you to house them differently if you foster or adopt, but quite frankly, the law can't force you to change your living arrangements or there would be a lot more families not crammed into 2 room apartments.
@Emeraldwitch30 there is in certain states. For example; Illinois sets the limit at age 6 while Alabama doesn't have a law for it. Other states simply restrict the maximum number of kids that can share a room at a certain age. It is just not enforced unless cps or something like them gets involved. The military in general can be a stickler about it as their hard cut off is also 6 years old iirc. Once the kids age out of that, the family will be moved to a new house (if they are being provided one) that has the appropriate amount of rooms for the family.
In most cases it is more of a social taboo that can garner negative side-eye either due to the age differences of the kids or the mixed genders rooming together over the age of 5 - 7 years old.
@@Emeraldwitch30 Oh, yes there are!
If OP loves Easter so much, why not ask her friends/family to plan an Easter Egg Hunt for her? There was no need for this nearly 30 years old woman to dust the kids in her neighborhood for a bid for colorful eggs.
My thoughts were, if you love Easter candy so much just buy it yourself. Same with eggs.
Because it was only after joining up (being permitted to) that OP realised it was all children participating. Yeah, going overboard on the hunt is douchey, but the rest is fine.
@@dominickeijzer5844agreed. Just because you are an adult doesn’t mean you have to forsake everything you enjoyed as a child, you just need to be mindful on how you go about it so that other children can still enjoy it as much as you do! If OP had “helped” some of the smaller children, especially if their parents couldn’t help, then it could have been cute. Or look for the harder to find/reach ones and stop after 5 or so eggs. Then go buy all the candy on discount! You can even ask your partner to hide them around your home in harder spots. I work at a pharmacy in a hospital and a coworker hid 50 eggs with candy around the pharmacy. We still haven’t found them al! But when I am having a stressful day I look for them to get that candy and have some quick fun! Being adult means you need to be mindful of your actions, it doesn’t mean not having fun and enjoying the things you enjoy!
@dominickeijzer5844 She was told she could by someone who is obviously just as clueless as her. Any rational person would realize there would be issues with an adult doing an Easter egg hunt with the kids. In general, the older kids already have an advantage over the younger ones. With an adult, they're even more disadvantaged. OP should've bowed out the minute she saw that she was more than twice the age of all of the other participants. If she insisted on still doing it (like she did), then she should've at least half-assed it. Once she heard parents being loudly vocal about it, she should've given up all her candy. I know she likes Easter candy, but she's a grown-ass adult who can afford her own and Easter candy goes on sale the day after, so she should've just gone to the store to get some. It's OP's fault that the neighbors don't like her now. She had so many opportunities to do the right thing, but she didn't. And yeah, in the future OP should ask someone else to set up an egg hunt for her if she really feels the need to do one.
@CrystallynRose how sad is your adult life that you genuinely think buying candy is the same happiness and thrill as hunting for it? I don't understand why people think that because someone turns like 14+ that they can't do things like egg hunts or trick or treating. Why the fuck not? It's harmless fun that literally doesn't have an age limit but sad miserable people will all but spit at teens and adults for participating.
What would you rather those teens and adults be at parties doing drugs and drinking alcohol? Since those are more "age appropriate" celebrations, especially for adults?
Okay, on the mattress story, I had a medical issue as a child. I peed the bed almost nighty. You know how my parents combated this? A plastic bedsheet and big kid diapers! Why is she just letting mattresses getting ruined?!
Because it's cheaper to just make your daughter wake them up? Poor kid.
Yeah I agree, my only concern about the diapers is if they are used nightly (as in instead of waking them up, which should be OPs job) it may cause skin irritation and/or infection. That’s a major problem I see with geriatric patients who aren’t able to clean themselves very well.
For the dudes side of the story i have a question, what was the project? Was it akin to The Manhatten Project or was it more like negotiating where speedbumps should be installed in HOA run neighborhoods?
So, the Easter egg story. I do something similar each year, but the basket full I collect gets handed out to the smaller kids who don't find as many eggs as the bigger kids. I tend to go to the outter edges of the search area, and look for the more difficult to find eggs, and work my way in, so that the easier to locate eggs are easy pickings for the kiddos, and then post up near where the parents are sitting, and start tossing eggs into kids' baskets as they return. I never leave with any eggs for myself. Those are for the kids.
I was about to comment something similar. Op could’ve easily done the Easter Egg hunt for fun, handed out all of her eggs to the kids with less (maybe save one), then go buy some candy for herself.
I’ll just make a mental note. The fun is in finding them, and I can go buy my own candy.
@@RealCoolstriker64 it's a blast climbing trees and crawling into bushes like a big ol kid, and even more fun to see little ones faces light up when the goofy bearded dude dumps a hoodie pocket full of eggs in their basket. The fist bumps from dads and smiles of gratitude from moms are pretty rewarding, too.
Story 4:OP,taking care of your kids is your job,not your kids
So, you have 3 boys and 1 girl and you give a separate room to the older boy? If we need to be logical, it is the sole girl who needs a room for herself.
not even logical...legally in some situations anyone past puberty age cant share with opposite gender . that poor girl.
the logical thing is to give the oldest one their own room. lets see the reasons:
- as you age the need for individuality and independence gets bigger. by cramping a significantly older child with 2 smaller children strips that need from them and they don't learn these important parts of life as they are approaching adulthood.
- the mental strain knowing your younger sibling gets their own room before you just because of your gender is just... it's not fair on the oldest one
- why should the oldest child be punished for their gender? they didnt choose their gender, they didnt choose the other siblings' gender, they didnt choose to have younger siblings.
i would know because im the 2nd oldest of 7 kids, where the only boy is the 5th one. my oldest sister moved out so im the oldest in the house rn. everyone shares a room rn and were planning on getting a bigger one eventually. i heard my parents talking about giving my brother his own room before the older girls because of his gender and if theres only 1 opportunity for someone to have their own it will be him. i fought with my parents on this a bit. if they continue planning this and we do actually move im going to fight fucking tooth and nail until i can get my own room. ive become a shell of myself because ive never been given the opportunity and space to blossom into my own person. i dont know how to be independent. i havent figured out who i truly am, my existence revolves around my younger siblings who i am forced to share everything with. the thought of the 11yo getting his own room before me just makes me pissed.
Why should the girl get over the boy which is older? I feel that, that is sexism in itself. She's entitled to it just because she's a girl?
@@tisrhinoBecause she's the only girl. Same would apply if she was the only boy. In that case, all the girls would share a room, while the boy gets his own room.
@@alboichone1153 thats not fair tho on the older one. imagine being an older sibling, waiting your entire life for your own room just for it to go to your younger sibling because of you gender vs their gender vs your other younger siblings' genders. thats bullshit. the older one NEEDS it more. dont give me the privacy shit because i dont feel good about my sister walking in while my tits and flapping around because i havent finished getting dressed and she sees my areolas and nips. i feel bad about it even tho she is a girl too. that just happened while i was typing this comment actually.
I remember the adoption story and the mattress story.
Adoption: Does OP not realize that by his logic, the child isn't his ex's kid either? She could literally drop the kid on his doorstep, say 'well I didn't help create this kid so I'm peacing out now byeeee!' and just left, and that would be the exact same thing. And the ex-wife would be guilty of the exact same level of buttholery that OP is now guilty of.
Mattress: I love how she's like 'am I the butthole or are we just down on our luck?'...like lady, the two aren't mutually exclusive. You can be down on your luck and do the best you can with the situation...like okay, the younger boys have issues with bedwetting. Ideally perhaps the mom would hire a nanny specifically to take care of the nighttime pottying, or maybe she'd find a job where she could get up in the night to potty the boys without being unsafe at her job. Maybe being 'down on their luck' means the can't afford these ideal solutions. So okay, why not get the equivalent of Depends for the boys? I mean they might have outgrown potty training pullups, but there's gotta be something like a diaper or pullup or something for special needs kids who aren't able to be fully toilet trained.
Like, why does being down on your luck mean your only recourse is parentifying your 14 year old?
The last story was really hard to listen to. I love the holidays but id never participate in an event for children but i also think the Organizer is a bit of an butthole to since if it was a kids event then they should have said "no I'm sorry it's kids only, you cant sign up" instead of letting them.
The mattress story is Uber shitty because the dad is parentifying his daughter and she’s clearly suffering bc of it. Yet he doesn’t seem to give a shit because she’s a woman. Parentification is a form of abuse/neglect for those who don’t know
I wouldn't say op in the last story is a butthole. She asked if she could join and was told she could. She didn't really seem to understand that she took too much which makes me believe she could be on the spectrum. And after she was told she shared her candy with the kids, which the parents will probably throw away anyway because of all the sugar
I think she was okay until the end when she couldn’t be bothered to stay and fix her mistake of taking all the eggs because it would take too long. I think though that a heartfelt apology and maybe some eggs with candy for the kids could smooth things over. Tell the kids you got too excited about the holiday (they’ll understand that) and now that you saw they didn’t get as much as you, you want to share. A good lesson all around. I can understand the parents being upset that another adult may have ruined their kids experience, especially as they didn’t know that OP had permission. If OP wants to be a part of the community, explaining that to the parents and telling the kids “I am also working on sharing, it’s tough!” Can help. I think a normal AITA, not AITD in my opinion. But depends on how OP responds.
Dude literally said, "I bought you. You and this house are my property so I can do whatever I want with anyone outside of this marriage"
To be fair that's the attitude that a lot of men who are forced to pay a dowry or something like that. Honestly a lot of women end up in abusive relationship. Lol a white woman family would have gotten laughed out of the building if the even suggested they get money for the marriage.
@@kristelneedtoknow3207 To be fair, that's definitely not an excuse to view your wife as property, especially for someone not raised with that culture and expectation. That statement from him was wild no matter how you cut it and it only got crazier when he double down and added lies on top of it just to use as more hurtful ammo.
@@kristelneedtoknow3207 I will say that it was also a little wild for the wife to explain away the dowry as only being bad when it's forced by the family, but glossed over her own responsibility in forcing her future husband to pay up when he was really against it.
Yeah, he knew what he was getting into and he was familiar with the culture, but she seems to be blind to the pressure she put on him, at least, It seems that way the way the story is told.
@@Jr-Reed to also be fair she said its a "symbolic sum" while he calls it a truckload of cattle. and also he saved for years for it? so how small is this symbolic sum? i can understand the comment especially if you don t want to pay and it was a huge sum
@@idahooo3253 ...Understand what comment, exactly? The one where he claimed ownership over her like she is his property?
I dont know why the couple in the first story ever got married. It sounds like they both hate the places the other is from and the wife sounds far to attached to her home country to compromise
Yea it's just weird
Rslash: yeah their down on their luck because they have a terrible parent.
My friend that was so hilariously spot on that I got hiccups from laughing 😂
Easter egg hunt- really Rslash?? They literally asked if they could join and gave back some of the eggs, how is that stealing from children if she was allowed to be there?
she used her size and age to her advantage, she could've bought her own easter candy or set up her own hunt instead of competing against little kids. the point of the hunt is to hunt for them, but OP took all the fun away from the kids. its less fun when an adult does the fun stuff and gives you the rewards. in my area, we use easter to teach kids to work for what they want, and OP kinda ruined the point.
Easter egg story: in a way, I sympathize with the OP. I love Halloween, not only for the candy but to dress up in costumes and just walk around my neighborhood with various different and awesome decorations, with an ever growing bag of candy. Now that I’m an adult in an apartment, I miss dressing up with my siblings, the decorations, the cumbersome bag of candy and especially how fun it was.
Doing so as an adult though would be just awkward (especially in an apartment building) and rude if I (an adult with a job) took candy meant for kids. Like me, OP loves Easter egg hunts, but her attending the hunt costed her face in her neighborhood.
We crave to relive our childhood but sometimes we need to do the hard thing and grow up so that children can have theirs.
In my neighborhood, i do go trick-or-treating around to the more "popular places" (aka they give out more candy than needed) and go back to my neighborhood and literally just sit out on my porch steps and wait for the few kids that *do* try and trick or treat around here, and they always see me and are excited bc they get at least a handful of candy from me (or two if they're walking around the block and Aholes don't turn off their porch lights and they're disappointed) - so i guess, i'm the technical robin hood of my neighborhood halloween?
AITD is like AITA, but the stories are much more worse and it's enjoyable
Nah.
Really, it's a "Who TF hurt you" levels of AITA.
It's AITA with so much yes, the post has to be saved by others before OP deletes it out of shame.
That's because AITD are reposted copies from AITA to archive the worst stories so that the original posters can't delete them.
It is exactly like that, AITD is just mostly posts of YTA from AITA, sometimes of the worst kind and ones where OPs refuse to see they’re wrong and usually deleted the posts from the blacklash. There’s a few other from other subreddits, like r/relationships, r/itsthatbad, r/unpopularopinion but it’s mainly the worst of AITA
Last story: i hate when people are like "this is for children" its the reason i don't do anything for Halloween or Christmas anymore and hell i can't even say i play games cause this sparks people saying "give it to the children games are for them not 20 year olds god grow up"
I wonder if there are fb or other social media groups to organize adult only versions of these cultural traditions.
Kinda reminds me of op with a Nintendo switch and a mom ask them to hand it over to her child as too old play games which OP refused since they bought it. (can't remember the story)
I'm 32 and still play video. You never to old and I am old enough to pay for the game system so why would I give it to your child?
But yeah lots of people says things are for "children" but let's not forget how parents are when it comes to Christmas for presents on "begging."
I feel this. I hate it because it’s also the reason why there aren’t many true competitive club/recreational team sport teams/groups for adults outside of running. Exercise/sport becomes super individualized into adulthood, and people try to make it seem like the only effective way for adults to exercise is to go lift weights or run on a treadmill.
Everyone puts so much focus on children in different ways, but they stop caring about health, fun, and personal growth once a that child turns into an adult. It’s so stupid.
@@threecards333 i am sure there are but if not OP in the story should organize an adult hunt iduring the community event if she wants to so badly .. i have seen videos of families doing them and hunting for alcohol etc.
Having a whole subreddit dedicated to the absolute worst scumbags humanity has to offer is sometimes a little overwhelming. I’m feeling both disgusted and depressed that these individuals walk amongst us. I’m going to watch some kitten videos now to decompress!😻
The one about the autistic boys can’t be serious. He doesn’t think it’s appropriate for a teenage boy to share with two younger boys, but it’s appropriate for a 14 year old GIRL to share with two boys? There are absolutely no logic in that and if there was any social services involvement that wouldn’t be allowed as mixed sex siblings over a certain age shouldn’t share. Also for a parent to say they can’t care for their own child as they need their sleep and would be too tired for work actually left me speechless. So he think it’s okay for his kid to have to be so tired for school by being forced to care for the children she had no part in bringing into the world because he refuses to do his job and care for them? I don’t even know what to say to that other than it breaks my heart for that poor girl.
But the gender activists can justify it. They would say gender is a construct, and wouldn't see anything wrong with this scenario.
There are actually some states where it is illegal for children over certain age And mixed gender to share a room. Look it up it's rarely enforced but it is a law
I think it is mysognism mixed with misandrism, I think OP believes it’s inappropriate for a man (or teenage male) to be a caregiver to a child because they may molest them. “Women could never do that!” (There definitely are female predators/pdf files). That mindset hurts both sexes and sets society back.
I don't know what I was expecting OP to say in story 1, but WOW. Yeah there's no coming back from that dude. You were blatantly racist and didn't even deny her accusations. Your wife is better off
How was it racist?
I mean she HATES his culture and refuses to be around it and decided to raise a child in one of the worst countries in Africa so she’s not exactly a gem either. These 2 should have never gotten together
Funnily enough part of the bride price tradition that the first OP wanted also allows for the husband to have a second wife. She was actually asked if she was okay with her husband having a second wife in her post and strangely enough she didn’t answer the question. So she’s okay with archaic and misogynistic traditions as long as they benefit her, go figure.
I remember hearing the wives story every year since it came out. It’s crazy how the husband ruined his marriage.
@@GreenBeret1903Its literally explained later on. He wouldnt try that with a white woman and he used her culture against her.
Easter Story - I can't stand the mentality of anyone being barred from the fun. Just like with Halloween, I would much rather see everyone getting candy than them being out drinking and drugging or whatever else. There is literally nothing wrong with someone participating in an egg hunt when there are no age restrictions. If OP was out there shoving kids and shit, I could understand, but damn. It's plastic eggs of candy scattered around in the name of fictional figures, I think everyone will live.
Honestly I think she is in the wrong but not by much at all because at the end of the day she is basically indirectly taking candy from children, just because it doesnt have a limit it's basically an unwritten rule
Honestly the egg hunt story has an issue i've had for YEARS now
If your event. is marked as "ALL AGES"
please. stop making it mean under 10. just OUTRIGHT SAY, "10 and under"
the amount of times i've wanted to participate in an event that seems like fun but then notice it's like, "all ages", i get anxious that im going to be glared at by parents for even *daring* to want to participate in the event that states its for everyone. (Note, this is typically stuff like "come down to the library and make a button" or "hey if you visit our store at this time you can come do a cool science experiment!" type things in my instance.)
like sure, i am legally an adult, but that doesnt mean i dont want to do things that ARENT just shopping and drinking! everything for "adults" is just shopping and drinking around here, and then the few things that arent even if they SAY they're for all ages really mean "for little kids or maybe older kids if you're lucky" ;-; it's so frustrating. just say the event is for kids instead of "all ages". Say "parents can participate with their kids" if that's what you mean, dont leave it open as "all ages" then get mad when people of all ages want to participate!
THIS. It fucking sucks to show up ready to have a good time, only to realize that this was secretly for a demographic I have aged out of.
On the story with the 14 year old girl having to "mother" her 2 brothers. If Sadie were to call CPS, the fact that she has to share a bedroom with boys would get her rescued from that house.
but they dont have room to give her her own room yet tho sadly
@@user-ug3ry9xu5g CPS doesn't care, boys and girls can not be in a room together past the age of 4 or 5. Or at least that is how it is here.
@@user-ug3ry9xu5gyes they do, they just gave it to the 16yo
Sadie should refer to her brothers as her kids, just to get the point across.
"Sadie, why didn't you wake the boys?"
"I overslept because I haven't been getting enough sleep. I guess that's being a parent, right? I'll try to get your grandkids up on time next time."
That last story doesnt fit into AITD imo. God forbid an adult still nurtures their inner child eh? She's a bit of a butthole for not giving all her eggs to the children (just go buy some easter candy after ffs) but not a devil.
💯 She's not the ahole for participating in the hunt.She's the ahole for getting so many eggs and not giving them back to children. If it was just about the hunt she could've given them the eggs after the hunt. Plus you can buy a c*** ton of cheap Easter candy the day after Easter in basically every store.
You can always tell when they try to control the narrative with phrases like, "Here's where I might be the ***hole." Instant fail.
That’s literally a requirement of the sub tho.
@@RealCoolstriker64 that and many times I’ve seen that with the exception of this instance, OP is justified in their actions. That phrase is part of the requirement and most times I’ve seen OP isn’t the a**hole.
I will just say this as a Swedish person. We are not cold, we are reserved. Get to know us and you gain a good friend for life, but don't expect it from a stranger
Egg Hunt story: Abigail? That you?
I'm glad I am not the only one who thought about stardew valley
@@FoxDawnunexpected stardew valley reference, love it
Ive never played stardew valley
That Easter fanatic reminds me of Disney adults but way more bonkers. Why on earth would a full-grown adult think it's OK to get out there and compete with 5-year-olds?
Because they were told it was alright to sign up?
To be fair, they PERMITTED him to join, so they have no right to be cold towards him and stuff.
@@dominickeijzer5844 That's what I was gonna say!! The person literally said it would be okay! Yeah OP shouldn't have gone insane and taken a whole basket full but she was TOLD she was allowed to participate.
She was told she was allowed to join, plus, adults should be allowed to have fun as well, it’s unfair that only kids get to enjoy these types of events.
I agree with both sides here: She said she was allowed to participate, and she should be allowed if she wants. But at the same time, she should have accounted for her being five times the age of the average participant. Give herself the handicap of starting 10 minutes later, and limited herself to eggs that were actually hidden and not just lying in the grass (as she admitted to in the post. Seriously, where’s the fun if you’re just picking up eggs lying around for toddlers to find?)
We had an easter egg hunt when I was a kid at our apartment complex. Everyone participating was in elementary school, with a few middle school and high school siblings.
We ended up having to reschedule it because on the original day some guy waited until we were starting, then came out and found the majority of the easily hidden eggs. He argued there was no age limit to join and no max amount of eggs he was allowed to find, so it didn't matter that after he was done there were only five eggs for twenty kids to try and find.
The rescheduled one ended up having an age restriction that he complained about not being fair. He was pretty much told to kick rocks.
glad your organizers stepped up and told him off. i drive the other half and others crazy with details like ages, etc when organizing an event ..but it really does help to think of every scenario a stupid person could pull and be one step ahead of them ..saves a ton of high blood pressure issues.
All the horrible stories aside, that last one. What did she do, participate in an egg hunt? I'm a little lost how she's the devil. Stole candy from kids? The candy was for everyone who got some, like what?
She was a volunteer, knew there wasn't enough candy, and still took a whole lot of it.
The easter egg one is literally just me dunking on jaz in stardew valley 💀 Like "look at this small child can't collect as many eggs as me(who's an adult, daying her teacher-)"
I was on the dude’s side a little bit in the first story until that bombshell. YIKES
Same here like I literally gasped when I heard that bombshell. For someone so against the "bride price" part of her culture he was quick to embrace it in an abusive way the moment she asked if he was cheating.
To quote the legendary anchorman,
"That escalated quickly"
The last story reminds me of a core memory of injustice from my childhood.
I was participating in an Easter egg hunt at a ymca which had golden eggs with better prizes in them. These eggs were also better hidden. Eight year old me spots a golden egg in a tree so I place my basket at the base of the tree to climb it. I grabbed the golden egg and tossed it into my basket so I could use both hands to climb down. As I’m doing so, some grown ass adult steals the golden egg right out of my basket and gives it to their toddler who smiled with glee as if they found it themselves. I’m still mad about it to this day. Leave Easter egg hunts to the children
Wish rslash would read a few of the comments from the posts to hear some peoples reactions.
that's a great idea !
The last story, OP didn't "Steal candy from babies" She was told she was allowed if it was kids only she would have been told so, just because only kids signed up didn't mean it's kid only. OP did nothing wrong
No, she did. She grabbed all the easy eggs for the little kids.
Regarding the mattress story: I, as an adult, have a protective cover on my mattress. Helps keep the mattress cleaner, and it paid for itself the first time the dog got sick. 😂 They even make ones that have cooling gel layer on the top which is amazing in the summer.
In the last story, op didn't steal candy from anyone, they were involved in the hunt just like everyone else. The issue comes down to the fact that kids don't always know where to look whereas adults always do
Not even that, OP asked if they could participate and they said yes. No OP shouldn't have gotten so many eggs, but in reality it isn't that big of a deal.
@@hayshiafoust6530 It's a big deals for the other kids. Even at that age, they can absolutely see the injustice.
Honestly, I would tell the parents to take it up with the President of the association, not me. Because they were the ones who permitted him to join.
Yeah that's the issue here.
OP sounds like she really went for it in hunting the eggs and it was only when she was getting dirty looks and comments from the parents that she began to show any signs of kindness and offer the children who missed out some of her stash. She sounds really wanky.
The phrase "potty" disturbs me. Adults that use it with non toddler aged children have something wrong.
I feel like he’s infantilizing his autistic children
@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012 definitely felt like that for me too. as an autistic, my "parents" did that a lot, especially my adoptive "mother". she was always speaking like i was a toddler, up until i left the house at the age of 22. i still have issues, because of how i was always treated like a child, among many other bad things, and suddenly being in an adult world is a struggle, and being neurodivergent on top of that makes it harder, but i am never going back to see them. if OPs children on the spectrum are able to get out and live their own life away from OP, i would celebrate. it's hard enough being in a world that is noisy and overstimulating, and i don't know how difficult it is for them to be independent, but if OP is abusing sadie(who i hope gets out as soon as she can), i worry what they autistic children are going through.
@@HexisVonSpade I agree with your worries. OP clearly hasn't looked into any help for them (mattress protectors, pull-ups, silent alarms, etc etc) that didn't begin and end with "make the daughter do it lol she's the girl". And autism is under-diagnosed in girls. For all we know, and for all OP cares, Sadie could be on the spectrum too, with no concessions made for her because she's got to be run ragged being her brothers' carer.
What's worse, OP's careless wording unintentionally revealed that Sadie is probably being made to clean the kids up, not just wake them for the bathroom and then go back to bed. With my sensory issues, I'd find that extremely upsetting to have to do.
Yep, and there’s far more solutions to his issue than having his daughter stay with them and wake them up to go use the bathroom. My parents didn’t allow me to drink anything anymore after a certain time in the evening if they knew I would have to go. It’s not like his sons would die of thirst if they wouldn’t drink anything after 7PM (if they’d go to bed at 9).
Last story: Hey, Peter Pan - you're pushing 30, it's time to grow up. Buy yourself some Easter candy and quit ruining things meant for kids.
Listening to story 1: ok it sound like this is a culture clash with the guy being a bit of an ass but ... (gets to the comment he makes) oh, look at that, all the sympathy i had for him flew right out the window. Impressive.
I can understand having a short fuse because you're overworked and stressed but he has no excuse.
@@ItsMeBarnaby I find it difficult to articulate how exactly to best phrase the cognitive difficulties you may possess to confuse a cultural symbol and literally selling someone. Or did you think that 'til death do us part' means you can't ever get a divorce?
@@dominickeijzer5844 Or that when fathers in western weddings give away their daughters, they're still literally giving away their daughters?
Funnily enough the tradition the first OP pushed onto her ex also allowed the husband to have a second wife. When asked if she was okay with this in her first post she didn't respond, go figure.
@@dominickeijzer5844Well for extremely religious people that's exactly what till death do us part means. I get what you're saying but that was a terrible example. Also, a bride's price literally means you're purchasing a human being. Because until 1991 That's exactly what it meant. Under law in Zimbabwe. It wasn't just a cultural symbol. Much like up until the late1800s father's giving their daughters their way was not a symbol. The daughters were literally property. And it took generations of people being born for it to become from a legal practice where it was property transferring hands to a cultural one. And some could argue that in some pretty fundamentalist interpretations of Christianity in the west. That's very much what it means to this day. Even very Evangelical families. We'll see it that way. What do you think purity balls are? You can have whatever interpretation you want of cultural practices. But the reality is a lot of those cultural practices are based on some pretty strong misogyny.
And with how recent the changes have been implemented in a country like Zimbabwe, you're going to have to know that a lot of people are still going to hold true to those old traditions just like they cling on here in the west. There are people alive today that would have been married under that system. This isn't like the 1800s. If you know someone who's still alive from the 1800s, that'd be pretty impressive. I'm not excusing his behavior because it's inexcusable. But to try to change something until very very very recently meant you were literally purchasing property and trying to turn it into a sweet cultural tradition Is a weird thing to do. And I'm going to go as far as even saying that a father giving away his daughter is kind of a gross tradition. I have no problem calling out the stuff in my own culture so don't come at me like I'm xenophobic cuz that's ridiculous.
Yeah, an adult shouldn't enter a children's Easter egg hunt. Make an adults only Easter egg hunt too! You can even put mini alcohol bottles, spicy stuff, spicy 😉 stuff, and other things kids wouldn't like/ wouldn't be appropriate in the eggs as well as the usual candy stuff. You could hide them harder too. Kinda like my family plays a saran wrap ball game during Christmas, and we have a ball for the kids and a ball that is strictly 21+
Not to mention the girl is 25....she can't BUY her own Easter candy!?
That sounds fun
@@jennteal5265 I would say that it was just for the fun of the Easter egg hunt, but obviously it wasn't or she would have been fine with giving the eggs away
So I may have a different opinion of the last post. While op did go overboard with the egg hunts, I feel holidays aren't always "just for kids" and that anyone could essentially be involved. I even wish to participate in egg hunts and trick or treating sometimes. Some people are just young at heart and there really shouldn't be an issue with that unless they go overboard with it.
She did ask permission and recieved a "yes". Although she should have joined the planning and set up, so it would be both a give and take from her.
This one kinda confused me. Our egg hunts in the area have different event for younger and older kids they have age limits. How greedy of an adult do you need to be to hog all the eggs? They shouldn't have allowed the adult to participate with children.
When shecaskedcto join I can almost guarantee that they thought they wanted to help hide the eggs and not hunt them.
The only adults allowed to easter egg hunt tend to be mentally limited ones. If they are stuck at certain ages in their minds they can't help it.
I get a couple grown adult trick or treaters here at my house but they both have downs syndrome and they dress up in wonderful home made costumes every year.
It's such a thin line between joining the fun and being a kill joy on the egg hunt tho. I'm not sure she/he should have been allowed to go with the children. Easter candy is pretty cheap day after.
Last story: she volunteered for the event, so I'm assuming that she was there helping earlier and wasn't being paid. She asked beforehand to the person organising the event if she could join in the Easter hunt and got permission. She did everything right so I don't see why she is getting flack for it. I mean, just because it's meant for children doesn't mean adults can't participate. Think about roller coasters, water parks, trampolines, jungle gyms, slides ... adults enjoy those too!
organizer prob figured she just wanted to have a little fun and pick up a few eggs not so many that she cleared the field and had enough to give 70 kids each one...excessive . and comparing the other things is like apples and oranges...unless that trampoline or coaster etc. has a weight or size limit they are not made specifically for kids and are meant to be enjoyed by all ages and there are both adult and kid versions of them . grabby gerty has not matured enough to know the difference .
I think where she was TAH is in going all out when hunting. She should have stopped after finding a few eggs or actually stuck around to continue handing them out after she realized. But NTA for joining in :-)
@@vickiechandler3112 the way I understood it is that she picked the ones in her path, not the entire field. I mean if we are organising an Easter hunt for 70 kids there should be enough for everyone, so let's say 5 eggs per kid, that is 350 eggs. She couldn't possibly pick all of them. Secondly if she was able to find enough eggs to give one back to all of the children present, that means that she got 70 eggs in one basket so she should have brought Santa's bag to fit them all. It doesn't make sense
Did he actually pay a truck load of cattle as the "bride price" because that seems like a lot for a token.
I'm sorry but it's not Sadie's or Ryan's responsibility to look after the other two children.
Sadie's life sounds a bit crap and not as a teenagers life should be.
The parent seems only concerned with their own tiredness levels and doesn't appear to appreciate that even teenagers get tired. And it is vital too that they're well rested so they can do their best in school, which could in effect set them up for the rest of of their lives. Sadly for Sadie though, she appears to have a parent who just doesn't care for her at all, and only cares what she can do for him.
Mattress story: “here’s where I think I might have been the AH”
Naw, well before that dude.
This is the first time in a long time that pretty well all of these stories got my blood a little boiled. Some people are completely out to lunch. It’s disgusting.
"I love her beyond measure" "but this project at work is more important than her!" I feel bad for his wife.
Nothing like RSlash joined with a cup of coffee to start the day!
Last story: When OP turned up for the event and realized she was the ONLY ADULT participating, I can't believe she didn't think... oh, it's kids only. 🤣🤣🤣
If it was just meant for kids, then why tf did the president of the association even allow her to participate in the hunt
The great thing about being an adult is you can buy as much Easter candy as you want. You don't need to get it from an Easter egg hunt!
Kid story. What always makes me shake my head is the fact that you don't seem to think an adopted child is in fact their adopted parents child. When you adopt, like this OP did, you take on the parental responsibility and the bio parents have no say at all regarding the child. So this OP isn't just a lowlife human but also legally wrong. He also broke his promise to this child. Shame on him.
bird price here in denmark is illegal and punishable up to 2 years
*bride
So do they have to catch the birds for free or what happens?
@@mariposa9506 bride stupid autoc...
So the first one (bride price) is just a dowry? Just want to clarify
What's also messed up about the mattress story is the 16 year old boy is apparently helping with rent!? Both elder kids will probably become distant with their mother in the future...
I dont think theres inherently a problem with larticipating in an egg hunt. But like, just give the candy away.
President: **Allows OP, and older person, participate in the easter egg hunt**
OP: **Gets a lot of easter eggs**
Parents: **Surprised Pikachu Face**
I don't think OP is the AH here. The president allowed him to participate, and he did, and all of a sudden everyone is being cold towards him simply because he got more. He didn't steal them, he was allowed to participate and that's what he did. The parents ARE a little bit entitled here tbh.
Just because it's part of a culture doesn't make it ok
That poor kiddo! To the adoptive "father"...sincerely eff you! As an adoptive parent, I can share that this is 100% not how this works. When you are going through the final adoption hearing, they make it clear that you are forever tied to the child, even if there is a divorce and have to agree before the proceedings and be finalized. He clearly knows this because of the line" I will only pay if the court requires me to and I'll sign away my rights"
Sounds to me that the family will be so much better off without that toxic POS.
My sister had an adult Easter Egg hunt: bigger eggs which contained cash, gift cards, and liquor in the airplane sized bottles.
I love when people still have fun as adults.
This is exactly why we don't do dowries anymore. If it were me, I would defy the tradition
Totally up to you! I do think they are interesting (from an anthropological standpoint, they are not a part of my culture) as the meaning of them, the act/price, and significance changes culture to culture. I think everyone should have to right to choose how they feel about certain traditions and (if they don’t hurt others) follow them as they see fit. In some ways, the male buying the wedding ring and it having to be as expensive as he can afford is a type of dowery as it shows his ability and commitment to financially care for his partner and if the marriage ends the partner can sell it to take care of themselves. A lot of traditions from other cultures seem weird but usually there is an equivalent in your own when broken down to the meaning and not just the action.
@@rebeccajesse4604That's great. But you can't take a cultural practice out of the culture. It exists in. Up until 1991. Women in Zimbabwe were not considered human beings. They were considered property. Up until 2021. The bride price was literally legally about buying property. It wasn't until it was changed in the Constitution. But a lot of Zimbabwe's still feel like it is about exchanging property. Much in the same way when women became people instead of property in the west in most countries in the late 1800s, it took generations for that notion of women being property to die out. Quite honestly, there's still some backwoods redneck pieces of human garbage who still feel like women are property. That's how long it takes for those kind of notions to die out. You can't expect that that idea only went away 30 ish years ago and it's poof. It's gone. There's way more to it than oh. It's just cultural. And a culture like any human idea is up for scrutiny, mockery discussion and questioning. And yes, I especially include my own culture.
The reality is this woman wants traditional Zimbabwe culture when it benefits her and her family. But she doesn't want it when it doesn't benefit her. Because he paid $50,000 as a bride price. Which was enough when given for conversion for her family to buy a house with an acreage and start a business. This was not a unsignificant amount of money like she tries to make it sound. Absolutely none of that excuses what the husband said. What he said was disgusting and she's well within her rights to leave him. His behavior. His words are on him. But she opened the door for a traditional Zimbabwe marriage. Which is multiple marriages and the husband having affairs. The reality is in Zimbabwe. According to the Zimbabwe cultural center for the growth of women, 92% of husbands will have affairs. That it is culturally expected. So she got her traditional marriage. She got what she wanted when it benefited her and her family. But now that it doesn't benefit her, she wants to throw a fit. You can't have it both ways. You can't have Zimbabwe traditions when it's convenient and beneficial for you but have Western ideas when it's convenient and beneficial for you. Plus, if you go read some of her comments in her comment section. This woman is clearly very racist towards white people and very xenophobic. To me, it seems like two pieces of human garbage that interacted with each other well on their way to being pieces of human garbage.