Ari Shaffir - Butt Stuff - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored

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  • čas přidán 17. 02. 2015
  • Ari Shaffir tries something different in bed, but it goes very, very poorly.
    The Comedy Central app has full episodes of your favorite shows available now. on.cc.com/1e85GN8
  • Komedie

Komentáře • 487

  • @standup
    @standup Před 4 lety +19

    In the mood for more This Is Not Happening? Watch comedians' most outrageous sex and romance stories here: czcams.com/play/PLD7nPL1U-R5p26gyn9MH4nOit3BcfNyYZ.html

  • @MrBob2212
    @MrBob2212 Před 5 lety +70

    “There’s no worse STD than a baby” 😂

  • @adrianpina7757
    @adrianpina7757 Před 6 lety +637

    dude ive been on a binge watching this dude hes hilarious

  • @architeuthis3476
    @architeuthis3476 Před 7 lety +388

    For those who aren't familiar with the Hebrew phrase at 8:50, בתיאבון "b'teavon" is basically the same as saying "bon appetit."

  • @crushed0skull
    @crushed0skull Před 9 lety +154

    That guy in the back, making faces like it's all happening to him right at the moment hahah

  • @aaronthekid97
    @aaronthekid97 Před 9 lety +131

    "Hungry Hungry hippo Ass"
    I need this on a hoodie

  • @RustinChole
    @RustinChole Před 5 lety +301

    The show was sooooo much better with Ari. I can't believe CC banished him from his own show cause he dared do a Netflix special.

    • @Christiane-yb1wj
      @Christiane-yb1wj Před 5 lety +17

      I'm happy he has a special. He deserves it! Bout to go watch that tonight!

    • @NPC-nn4qe
      @NPC-nn4qe Před 3 lety +3

      Yeah, fuck Comedy Central.

    • @WaRLoKWYATT
      @WaRLoKWYATT Před 3 lety +4

      Comedy Central is a shit hole.

    • @notagiantseaslug5523
      @notagiantseaslug5523 Před 19 dny +1

      I’m all for Ari and not CC in this case. They should give him back his intellectual property.

  • @conanseibel4464
    @conanseibel4464 Před 7 lety +38

    "Hungry hungry hippo ass", that's a classic!

  • @40niners
    @40niners Před 4 lety +16

    Ari, Tom and Bert. The most laughs I've ever shit out.

    • @NPC-nn4qe
      @NPC-nn4qe Před 3 lety +1

      Y- You laugh out your ass? wtf?

  • @mvhemp
    @mvhemp Před 5 lety +9

    I'm just binge watching tf out of Ari Shaffi This Is Not Happening videos

    • @NPC-nn4qe
      @NPC-nn4qe Před 3 lety

      Same. Watching every last one on here.

  • @mphillips5366
    @mphillips5366 Před rokem +2

    Busted out laughing when Ari hit us with the air quotes. Hilarious.

  • @CordaroBlu
    @CordaroBlu Před 9 lety +248

    She didn't go ahead and update him on his "altered" flight plan? Like, when you set the plan out, most women usually give you a warning that you're in the wrong neighborhood. Metaphors.

    • @larryphillipsjr.1607
      @larryphillipsjr.1607 Před 6 lety +1

      Simple Sonata 😂

    • @ETAisNOW-wn8wx
      @ETAisNOW-wn8wx Před 4 lety +1

      Who's flying from neighborhood to neighborhood?

    • @sydneyhensley4444
      @sydneyhensley4444 Před 4 lety

      I know you commented this 5 years ago, but I just wannna show you some love. AMAZING comment. Thank you.

    • @skitzmfff2351
      @skitzmfff2351 Před 3 lety

      @@sydneyhensley4444 i know this was 11 months ago but also amazing comment haha lol im fucking wsted

  • @MrJamesohh
    @MrJamesohh Před 9 lety +312

    So he is Napolean Dynamite's cooler older brother. Right?

    • @johnpshitek2473
      @johnpshitek2473 Před 9 lety

      funny

    • @auxnull
      @auxnull Před 8 lety +26

      you're just jealous because he's been chatting with hot chicks on the internet all day

  • @fryingraijin
    @fryingraijin Před 6 lety +685

    Wait, wasn't SHE supposed to notice?

    • @helloimellieful
      @helloimellieful Před 5 lety +32

      I was thinking that too.. like he SHOULD have said something if it didnt feel right. But like.... she would have been the first to notice

    • @helloimellieful
      @helloimellieful Před 5 lety +27

      He even made the point that any sexually active person with a vagina will IMMEDIATELY let you know when you're going for the wrong hole

    • @helloimellieful
      @helloimellieful Před 5 lety +18

      Unless they were both HEAVILY intoxicated, then I could sort of understand but yeah

    • @stephanieann6622
      @stephanieann6622 Před 5 lety +11

      @@helloimellieful I would think someone who doesn't have sex often would notice a lot quicker because like nothing has ever been up there lmao unless she stretches really easily and lubed the fuck up. Drugs and/or alcohol can play a big part in it though.

    • @chiefcaptn1922
      @chiefcaptn1922 Před 5 lety +9

      She just wanted a baby lets be adults.

  • @storytimewithunclebill1998

    Ari had me rolling again. He said "Yes" so fast. Got a new subscriber. Was fun to watch. Great video

  • @Tiersenhiphop
    @Tiersenhiphop Před 8 lety +6

    Best episode so far I haven't laughed out loud so much to stand up in a while.

  • @Pink_kiwi707
    @Pink_kiwi707 Před 9 lety +32

    "other genus of hard-ons" lol

  • @tyavalos
    @tyavalos Před 5 lety +33

    "What are you Mexican or something," 😂😂😂

  • @Phi1618033
    @Phi1618033 Před 5 lety +10

    8:50 "B'tei avon" --> Hebrew: "Enjoy your meal."

  • @danielbeling5801
    @danielbeling5801 Před 5 lety +2

    "there's a cure but its pretty illegal" no one in the crowd laughed but i fucking died

  • @vekavex6606
    @vekavex6606 Před 4 lety +9

    Ari Shaffir is damn funny. I watched him before and he always delivers best jokes!

  • @wheelzmarco
    @wheelzmarco Před 4 lety +6

    Love these Apex Twin intros, with their sick get ready for "Fun" stories.

    • @NPC-nn4qe
      @NPC-nn4qe Před 3 lety +2

      Did you mean _"Aphex Twin"?_

  • @leonardcarlson9207
    @leonardcarlson9207 Před 4 lety +19

    I seriously have that one bottle of lube that's been sitting there for God know how long half full. The bottle of lube has even changes houses with me haha.

  • @kurtilingus
    @kurtilingus Před 3 lety +2

    "... there's a cure for it, but it's *way* illegal." Lol, brilliant.

  • @anthonycannon1747
    @anthonycannon1747 Před 6 lety +20

    These "this is not happening" episodes are really making me sad that I never had cable

    • @shadow_stalk
      @shadow_stalk Před 3 lety

      Ehhh this 10 minute joke would have taken about 20 on cable soo your just missing the commercials if anything lol!

  • @MrSlackershiek
    @MrSlackershiek Před 6 lety +2

    favorite comedian

  • @alastair7095
    @alastair7095 Před 3 lety +2

    Ari is pretty underrated.

  • @HarryVerolme
    @HarryVerolme Před 9 lety +8

    Ari always make me laugh so hard

  • @fugginchit1
    @fugginchit1 Před 6 lety +2

    9:30 Lol Ari took the words right out of my mouth

  • @Lina-di1gi
    @Lina-di1gi Před 7 lety +182

    when it goes in the wrong hole, the woman would ever so gently say
    NO
    NO
    NOOOOOOO

    • @BigJsSecretStash
      @BigJsSecretStash Před 5 lety +5

      (With swatting motions like she's shooing a fly away) 😂

    • @edgarallanpoe8917
      @edgarallanpoe8917 Před 5 lety +6

      Then you reply *Bite The Pillow I’m Goin In Dry*

    • @mikepryor7467
      @mikepryor7467 Před 3 lety

      I think If a girl says wrong hole the only good is answer “well yeah this should be mila kunis’ ass but here we are@

    • @Thornsbaby
      @Thornsbaby Před 2 lety +1

      Nooo my ex did this dry and I kicked him and was crying

  • @bored9744
    @bored9744 Před 5 lety +2

    9:58 watch the guy to the left as his face changes hahahaha

  • @goriaakash
    @goriaakash Před 5 lety +3

    This was so funny 😂

  • @deathsquadkush
    @deathsquadkush Před 8 lety

    go ari! best show ever

  • @jeyjay023
    @jeyjay023 Před 9 lety +2

    Omg this was so hilarious

  • @alvaromd3203
    @alvaromd3203 Před rokem

    Precious! I laughed sooo hard.

  • @watermelons2921
    @watermelons2921 Před 5 lety +3

    9:57: "hungry hungry hippo ass" look at the dude in the blue shirt in the background, youre welcome

    • @fluidapple9091
      @fluidapple9091 Před 4 lety

      Zachary Alton I made the same exact as I watched him

  • @IvysPanicRoom
    @IvysPanicRoom Před 2 lety

    It's been long enough for it to recommend Ari again

  • @professorfreedom5073
    @professorfreedom5073 Před 4 lety +8

    “Meh we’re done” sounded like Brandon Novak

  • @godmodefantastic4487
    @godmodefantastic4487 Před 6 lety +2

    YO I JUST DIED LAUGHING 9:52 INTO IT. I HAVEN'T LITERALLY LAUGHED OF JOY IN A WHILE. 👍

  • @mcspikesky
    @mcspikesky Před 9 lety

    Kevin Christy... CRUSHING IT!

  • @armourtillo
    @armourtillo Před 8 lety

    this was so hilarious

  • @mcspikesky
    @mcspikesky Před 9 lety +1

    Damn, Ari. Slay'd it.
    With love from Wales.

  • @julian11able
    @julian11able Před 6 lety

    Closed it so strong, 10/10 on the last two lines!

  • @megansmith3180
    @megansmith3180 Před 8 lety +706

    I hate people that hate Ari Shaffir

    • @tobybigs5069
      @tobybigs5069 Před 8 lety +19

      +HipsterHolocaust what the fuck

    • @joemurray2523
      @joemurray2523 Před 7 lety +29

      it would help if he was funny

    • @RatnaMaharaj
      @RatnaMaharaj Před 6 lety +20

      No one hates him, it's just that he's a jew

    • @benm5913
      @benm5913 Před 6 lety +17

      I hate people that hate people that hate Ari Shaffir.

    • @RatnaMaharaj
      @RatnaMaharaj Před 6 lety +12

      I hate people that hate people that hate people that hate Ari Shaffir.

  • @qstar710
    @qstar710 Před 9 lety +10

    My nigga ari

  • @joshmo3472
    @joshmo3472 Před 5 lety

    Rocking that Napoleon Dynamite suit lol

  • @weg2rt
    @weg2rt Před 9 lety +2

    Wow, that was hilarious

  • @TheCaymanRasta
    @TheCaymanRasta Před 9 lety +164

    This crowd sucks, like seriously did you go out to funerals to find them?

  • @elicantlive
    @elicantlive Před 3 lety

    All I do is watch theses all day everyday 25/8

  • @thrustmuch
    @thrustmuch Před rokem

    Found him yesterday, non stop laughing

  • @JoshTruff
    @JoshTruff Před 9 lety

    Ari you the man.

  • @frankstoeknife3685
    @frankstoeknife3685 Před 6 lety +1

    Lmao genus of hard ons 😂😂😂

  • @Constantine_Aurelian
    @Constantine_Aurelian Před 5 lety +2

    Bro that totally happened to me man makes it so much funnier

  • @particlejones
    @particlejones Před 6 lety

    Ari hilarious

  • @annahappen7036
    @annahappen7036 Před 5 lety +2

    BRING BACK ARI🙋‍♀️

  • @streetbeaglekz1923
    @streetbeaglekz1923 Před 9 lety

    6:20 absolutely made me lose my shit hahahaha this guy is crack up

  • @gankenator
    @gankenator Před rokem

    I lost my mind when he said hungry hippo. 🤣

  • @glennyeah
    @glennyeah Před 9 lety +46

    GET ARTIE LANGE ON THIS!

  • @jellis9618
    @jellis9618 Před 2 lety +1

    Ari is great at telling stories.

  • @safewordiswolfy2012
    @safewordiswolfy2012 Před 5 lety +1

    Dont move 😂

  • @hjv7121
    @hjv7121 Před 5 lety +2

    This exact same thing of mistaken hole identity happened to me before too..

  • @IcyMidnight
    @IcyMidnight Před 5 lety +4

    1:00 for the start

  • @martindouglas6750
    @martindouglas6750 Před 9 lety

    I love this guy

  • @luistpa4028
    @luistpa4028 Před 5 lety

    This dude is so nonchalant fucken funny as hell...

  • @kylejohnson4889
    @kylejohnson4889 Před 8 lety

    3 point stance..funny af

  • @JJMcGlock
    @JJMcGlock Před 9 lety +1

    Saw Ari open at just for laughs years back
    Even funnier nowadays

  • @charlesst.george9845
    @charlesst.george9845 Před 4 lety +6

    The intros are fine
    But waiting’s a sin
    The video starts at 1:00 in

  • @Curbstomp717
    @Curbstomp717 Před 4 lety

    My girl loves it!

  • @mamajim998
    @mamajim998 Před 2 lety

    Ari is fs in the top ten comics of all time

  • @joshtruman377
    @joshtruman377 Před 6 lety

    Been exactly there.

  • @LisaLisa001
    @LisaLisa001 Před 4 lety +17

    That was awesome. But as far as anal horror stories, you dodged a bullet

  • @jarodhunt9218
    @jarodhunt9218 Před 3 lety

    This bit thxD

  • @nickpower3185
    @nickpower3185 Před 9 lety

    This Is Not Happening, Fucking Excellent every episode

  • @davegass1650
    @davegass1650 Před 6 lety +1

    Ari is awesome !!! So true , so funny !!!!!

  • @robins.9700
    @robins.9700 Před 2 měsíci

    "Pregnant? What, are u Mexican?' 😮😂

  • @southerngirl102030
    @southerngirl102030 Před 4 lety

    7:24 literally dying

  • @ninjarider84
    @ninjarider84 Před 2 lety

    Guy in the blue shirt when he said "are you Mexican " definitely looked at someone Hispanic to cage their reaction before he laughed 🤣🤣🤣

  • @nicholaskellen346
    @nicholaskellen346 Před rokem

    Give aRi his show back!

  • @senseigoon451
    @senseigoon451 Před 9 lety

    Whats the name of the song used for the intro?

  • @hiimmooky
    @hiimmooky Před 9 lety

    Haha!! Can someone explain to me the "What are you, Mexican?" Joke though, that one didn't register for me LOL

    • @rossclark1205
      @rossclark1205 Před 9 lety

      Brown baby = brown shit?

    • @dylanjones1990
      @dylanjones1990 Před 9 lety +10

      Preston Wagner There's a stereotype that Hispanic woman get pregnant extremely easy. I can only assume it kinda started because the main religion is catholicism and the catholic church is anti-condom.

    • @deeznutz2842
      @deeznutz2842 Před 8 lety +2

      +john pshitek your a fucking dipshit.

  • @1feloniouspunk
    @1feloniouspunk Před rokem +1

    Uh may zing!

  • @mxtw7910
    @mxtw7910 Před 6 lety

    “With your hungry hungry hippo ass” 😂😂😂

  • @absolutelyeveryone2425
    @absolutelyeveryone2425 Před 5 lety +2

    🤣🤣🤣

  • @SkyTechElectronics
    @SkyTechElectronics Před 6 lety +1

    Oh my God, Ari is a fucking savage! My ribs hurt! xD

  • @ddp7028
    @ddp7028 Před 5 lety

    This dude is toooo fucking funny 😆

  • @ebutym11225
    @ebutym11225 Před 8 lety

    This was funny shit.

  • @kalebjaythecracker4173

    Look in for the "did he just introduce himself"

  • @devinbrown2517
    @devinbrown2517 Před 6 lety +2

    What's the difference between jelly and jam?

  • @imbatmanbitchh
    @imbatmanbitchh Před 6 lety +2

    Lmao halfsies on a day after pill

  • @mxamiss5
    @mxamiss5 Před 5 lety +18

    What girl wants someone to last 2 minutes

    • @Lollita23
      @Lollita23 Před 4 lety +5

      @@accuser_of_the_brethren7816 haha yup! Time is $$

    • @fluidapple9091
      @fluidapple9091 Před 4 lety +1

      A girl that has shit to do the next day?

  • @robrodriguez4866
    @robrodriguez4866 Před 7 lety

    oh ari shaffir... you arent the only one bro

  • @Thunder_Dream_Designs
    @Thunder_Dream_Designs Před 5 lety

    Hahaha omg hungry hungry hippo ass haha amazing haha

  • @blakemcglothlin6351
    @blakemcglothlin6351 Před 6 lety

    Watching this guy high is the best

  • @timytumper
    @timytumper Před 4 lety +1

    KOBE

  • @teenietoad
    @teenietoad Před 3 lety +4

    "if you see [someone with a sleeve of tattoos], theres one thing you can guarantee, not a virgin" well clearly the universe is telling me to get a sleeve before losing my v-card 🤷

  • @mishgriffin8116
    @mishgriffin8116 Před 4 lety

    3:04 oooooh

  • @ponchoonchmoncho3691
    @ponchoonchmoncho3691 Před 5 lety

    Yo I lost it at hungry hungry hippo ass!!!

  • @edgarsmoonrocks1562
    @edgarsmoonrocks1562 Před 6 lety +4

    bring back Ari!

  • @sniperskills2921
    @sniperskills2921 Před 9 lety +2

    I bought this, I usully dont do that sort of thing... worth it.

  • @thisguyrighthere3647
    @thisguyrighthere3647 Před 4 lety

    It's game time.