If Men Were 100% Honest | Circle of Secrets
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- čas přidán 13. 05. 2024
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This channel seriously does wonders in shedding a light on conversations that aren’t talked about in society, or that are seen as bad or weak conversations to have. Thank you Jubilee for this video. I’m sure many people out there love hearing these words being said.
He got lucky.
I hate to say it, but I was crying listening to some of these stories.
I wish people would take more serious time to listen to other people, and to just accept that bad things happen, and that we can move on from our worst moments and be better. It seems to me that people think that pushing it under the rug, or "it didn't happen" is the best way to deal with these problems, but there's not an action that I think we need done unless we can find that justice, but someone to just hold us together while we're broken, just for a moment.
Na they monetise trauma for clicks lol
@@IIIISai would you monetize your trauma?
If you're assuming this isn't willing or isn't done in a fair way I disagree. However, we can't prove if it is willing or unwilling, or done in bad faith, unless the video poster gives us more detail in how these videos compensate the people on screen or if it's truly just a PSA to bring awareness, so no one has to suffer like they did.
I think your comment is just trying to get attention, or you're just repeating what you hear other people say without knowing why, or you just don't know better.
Now, would you like to add to the conversation?
@@IIIISaino they talk about trauma doing it in silence is the worst thing you can do talking about it helps
Lets give a raise to whoever thought this video up.
Facts!!! 😂😂💯💯
Absolutely! What an amazing video and video concept
Absolutely! 🙏
We need more like this.
Yes, absolutely!!!
Its so fucked up anyone would downplay their own child's abuse regardless of gender.
I feel like people say this online then do the exact opposite in reality
@kylespevak6781 ❤exactly. They want to seem like they can handle the curtain opening but when they think of what it means to open up, they choose to brush it under the rug.
@@Musalia94 & it makes it hurt twice as much because then you feel lied to
He got lucky.
@@kylespevak6781 bingo. It's all virtual virtue signaling.
“I believe you” made me break down in tears. You don’t know how much you really need to hear that until you do.
Very true.
Same, having any kind of SA downplayed simply because you're a boy is incredibly dehumanizing, 35 yrs later and I still have intimacy issues
When he said his traumatic experiences are not as serious as the others😭 Sir, they are still traumatic. You still went through hardship that played a role into your adulthood. Please don’t ever minimize your experiences.😭 Sending love to all of them!
I can’t believe that nurse that decided to laugh at him saying he was SA’ed. You’re in the wrong industry!
He got lucky.
so disgusting.... and his mom too.
Nurses are people are people in general especially women don't take it seriously if a guy says they been assaulted.
@@brandonross8200 Men generally don’t take it seriously either. A lot of men think hooking up with older women when they’re minors is something to brag about. If anything, I see far more women make attempts to explain to men how that’s not okay.
@@SaidByTy I see more women say "men cant be graped" so idk what youre talking about.
Mens mental health really needs more attention
Big facts
But women will always receive it/ask for more
@@kylespevak6781??? What are you trying to say?
@@ivanmunoz4734 I think he has a point he is displaying it in a wrong way its like how women are more prone to talking about their own mental health in compairision to men due to societal standards
Over the years, I've seen this topic really get a realization effect, like men are people too, that we do have feelings, back when I was younger, the "experts" had no idea what to do so they blamed the person who had the problem and gave such sage advice as "just need to get a job" and "just stop feeling that way"
I am female and a survivor and I cried so much. I am so sorry that men are not believed. I am so sorry for you and I wish I could hug you. There is something wrong with this world and we should all try to spread more love
I feel you sister
💕
15:09 "I was molested, raped, and sexually assaulted by four of my VERY CLOSE FRIENDS". I had to rewind several times to make sure I heard that correctly. What kind of a "close friend" does this!!?? What kind of world are we living in???
People are most often raped by the people closest to them.
@@courtadbobtail600but 4 times?
@@Planck944 Yes, I can tell you read my comment but somehow it feels like you didn't.
Trans men are especially susceptible to this. It's awful.
@Planck944 yeah unfortunately these things are usually done by people the victim knows and you can't see it coming. there are a lot of awful people
what kind of a mother tells his son to hide the abuses he suffered?
A bad one
Too many of them
@@evepoole3966
That's a lot of moms. 😂
Ever been to India?
Most of them ...women care more about social status than people.
You'd be surprised how many
Why won’t people take mens SA seriously?? I’ll never understand. Strength and love to the guy with the navy shirt
Because so many people believe that men always just want to have sex. It’s played down as a “ohh you were just nervous” or “an attractive girl/guy touched you. You’re lucky” and people brush it off as a joke. It creates this feeling of Men can’t be victims. It’s a shame that so many men go thru such things and no one cares.
@@_heyitsyves201preach brother 🤝🏽
Well society don’t really care about men’s issues.
they don't take women's SA seriously either.. i see people, mostly men, laughing, disrespecting and disregarding r*pe, domestic ab*se, harrassement..ect all the time! and this says a lot about us as a society, and as a species even. sad af.
MEN don't take others men's problems seriously in general, especially when it comes to SA
“Therapy is a lovely start”. Im proud of these men for starting.
“I’m standing up now because my generation really needs it” i literally started bawling
Nobody taking this man’s SA serious is so heartbreaking especially his mother. Shame on her
He got lucky.
@@Pomni740 what is wrong with you?
If I get done with u, ur not gonna be so lucky. Sit down and stop being so rude.
@@Pomni740 Pomni pfp checks out
people just dont understand SA very well and have pre conceptions that "certain types of people" are immune to SA. It can be anyone. Statistically its overwhelmingly women, but that doesnt mean it cant be you, and you should always be vigilant and careful.
Whatever happens just know that there will ALWAYS be people who will know you are telling the truth and will support you.
"Every time I talk about this its me taking my power back just a little bit more.." Woah, this series is great! Definitely one of the more interesting episodes of this series!
I'll never be like that. I can never talk about it
I think more men are sexually assaulted than we know. It's sad that it is so prevalent and sad to think about the men who do speak up, only to not receive validation, empathy or for the justice system to investigate. I have dated several men who shared with me that they were touched by friends or family at home growing up or in college at parties, and never told anyone. They still live with it but there was never any justice.
It’s heartbreaking
It disturbed my soul as well.😢😢😢😢
Most of their perpetrators are men too
@@kosinneji9602 yeah but it doesn't help that female on male rape is used as a joke by most media nor does it help to say stuff like "most of their perpetrators are men too"
@@SomethingInteresting-nw2um but it's true though...? like 98% of male SA is by men...if we want to prevent male SA, it starts with men and not getting butthurt by that statistic. no one's blaming men, it's about fixing the problem. it's not going to magically go away by ignoring the root of the issue.
As a woman I 100% believe this is what will make society better. Men need this, men need to be able to be emotional and talk about their trauma without being dismissed
Zach, if you're reading this, i went through the exact same thing with a coworker. I had the same scenario, the same realization the next day, the same denial from those close to me at the time. I had to move, quit jobs, ditch my entire friend group at the time, and it still didn't feel enough. it's been over 10 years, and things DID get better. your pain is real, what you went through is real, and you DO NOT have to go through this alone.
I'm very sorry that happened to you
So sorry that happened to you. Thanks for sharing, your feelings are valid and im so proud of you.
I am so sorry 😞 😔 hugs and prayers goes out to you. This is awful.
I’m so so sorry. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I’m so happy to hear that things have gotten better for you. Wishing you the best because I understand that it’s always going to be a journey of healing🩵
its so funny how yall take sa towards men so serious but j9oke about it when it comes to females
Hearing the gentleman saying when he said he was raped he was blown off so many times and laughed at hurts me so much. I’ve never been through anything like that but I cannot imagine the pain he felt.
He got lucky.
@@Pomni740 wdym he got lucky?
@@terecitanevarez2905 he says that on every comment like this. just ignore it.
yeah its unfortunate that male on male and female on male is viewed as comedy by media
"blown off" is diabolical
As a fellow Male victim of SA I must urge everyone to overestimate the stats present on the issue. So many men experience this without reporting it, or not even understanding that what they experienced with SA. Thank you Jubliee for giving these men a platform to share this terrifyingly relatable secret.
This!! I know a few men who came to me in private about a situation like that and they never told anyone. It’s sad
I’m sorry
I couldn't imagine laughing at someone who said they'd been sexually assaulted. Shame on them!
Well the whole "Me, Too" movement was considered a joke. Society has problems, for sure.
1 in 6 men reported having being sexually assaulted but we must factor the fact that most men who are sexually assaulted never reported it. So I personally believe that number is bigger. I must also say some people do not deserve the gift of a child. A mother telling her son to not mention the abuse needs to be locked up as well as the abuser. My heart goes out to these victims.
And you can forget about men who get sexually assaulted by women getting taken seriously in this messed up world. It's so sad that in almost every sense, men SA is dismissed
I imagine kiddie diddlers and SA are at the root of origins of homophobic hate. Especially when LGBTQ was way more socially despised and thus no one would present outwardly... if that was your only known interaction with homosexuality you'd think everyone who was gay was an enemy
@@anunwantedsoul3672 In India a woman can never be a grapist according to law. In UK tooo and many other countries. Female privilege
@@AlexClayland1232 It's important that we don't blame women for this. I'm not saying that is what you're doing, but I think it opened up a conversation that this comment section really needed, considering most of these laws, privileges and whatever are also imposed by men which are degrading to both men and women. It's sad that men played a big part in developing the very system that oppresses them
@@anunwantedsoul3672 Feminists when laws favor men: PaTrIaRcHy
Feminists when laws favour women: PaTrIaRcHy
It’s crazy how emotionless they tell these stories just goes to show how men’s emotions generally aren’t cared for in society
I think being in front of the camera makes ppl uneasy, and it comes off as though they're trying to be tough. Not to mention maybe they've told the story so much that it's just normal to them.
@@A_ella_nope, this is how it is with my friends too, camera or not we don't show feelings when talking about these stories
I didn't find them emotionless at all. :(
@@kayblossom8505at all. Body language says a lot
I would really love to see this becoming a long series.
The more men see other men openly share their traumatic experiences and struggles, the more attention we can lead to men's mental health.
Thank you for the video
Same
My ex told me he was touched at a young age by woman. He just laughed and felt like nothing was wrong. I feel bad for him because I can only imagine how many men were also molested by women but think it’s okay because it’s a woman
If you don't mind me asking why did you two break up?
@@rithvikmuthyalapati9754 Curious too because there are men who share and get isolated or dumped by their partner.
@@tupums You're hoping they respond in a way that affirms your bias when it's none of your business lol.
@@tupumsexactly why my secrets will go with me to the grave.
@@jpraise6771that's unhealthy though. You just have to find someone you know you can trust.
Im a male who was molested and SA more than once.
Im 35 now and Ive only now talked about it.
You got lucky.
I am really sorry you had to go through that. I think it is very brave of you to talk about it! Thank you for sharing! I hope you are doing okay :)
@@Pomni740go away. stop leaving these comments on everyone else's comment.
I believe in you and deeply sorry you went through that … You are so precious all you deserve is kindness and respect and I hope you will find peace despite what some ugly souls have done to you … You are so so precious 👼
@@Pomni740 tf you mean lucky? Tf is wrong with you?
When I was 7 I was molested by one of my mom’s friends. She was hot and I thought I was lucky. I should have told my mom but at the time I was scared and embarrassed. I’ve buried the secret for years because my father is a traditional military dad. He has ptsd and would sometimes take it out on whatever or whoever is around him. I think that having that trauma is what made me become a violent angry and resenting person. I’ve only told my brother and he laughed and I hated him for it but looking back at it he probably thought I was joking or that it couldn’t happen to men.
I’m really sorry that’s not ok at all ❤
Similar thing happened to me but when I was 4...it was a grown woman and I kept it hidden from everyone because I thought I did something wrong...Even till to this day, I have nightmares every month or so where I am always a little boy being chased by a woman and a lot of the times, she gets me in my nightmares...
Johnathan testimony gave me chills. I've done things I'm not proud of and I'm still searching for my own mercy and self
Love . Thank you Johnathan .
i love how these men just talked. it shows that this is probably the first time they’ve had this space to let it out. i hope they all know how heard they are and i cherish the vulnerability they’ve shown. this video will change so many peoples lives ❤
The world would be a better place if men did this more often.
@@Nonya12608 it wouldnt...
@@learnnd3243thank u someone with common sense 😂
He got lucky.
Yes it would, less traumatized men, less men repeating what they've done to them @@learnnd3243
Ramiro saying he'd never experienced a discussion like this and would always remember it was so bittersweet
Everyone has been abused, assaulted, or raped...yet no one ever owns this touching. Nothing will ever change without restorative justice to break the cycles. There has to be a route for abusers to take accountability or there will only be more victims.
My heart broke, I hate this world
I pray these men find love and healing and peace
I’m so sorry for what they have went through.
So so proud of them.
they found the courage to be vulnerable
Not the "women rank men by size" recommendation at the end 😭😭
Give the poison, sell the cure. Classic @jubilee
In bad taste
I'm playing both sides so I can always come out with more money -jubilee
I had a men hair growth commercial. It just feels so insensitive after watching this.
Jubilee seemed to have made you laugh at that irony. Great support for men
Is it even legal for a nurse to just straight up gaslight a patient about something that they're stating happened DID NOT happened when the nurse was never there?!
I sure hope it is!
It happens all the time, unfortunately. Even when an abuser gets through the process of reporting at a hospital, they often get the same levels of gaslighting from the cops.
@@sleepy-peepy This is one of the many reasons I've started volunteering as a SART support worker, to help provide some emotional support to those who need it. Even if it's a small amount of people and in a small way. Because I will always believe a survivor.
I don’t know if it’s illegal but it is HIGHLY unethical. Regardless of whether she believed him a kit should have been offered as well as a referral to a counselor or psychologist. Even a blood test to see if there were traces of drugs in his system could have been done. By her brushing it off he lost the opportunity to have the evidence to press charges which could have made all the difference for him.
praying she loses her license
I remember reading something about Linkin Park’s “Crawling” having been written by Chester about his being taken advantage of sexually by a guy he knew. That song depicted his suffering from that incident, where he was frustrated that he could not tell anyone in fear that he would not be heard. I think we should create more safe spaces for men so their voices can be heard.
I never knew that backstory. It just shows how much he struggled. Rip Chester ❤
"You are just hurt, and you are caring a lot of pain." Wise words it made cry
This just shows how much men's feelings are invalidated. Others have to acknowledge that they're also human beings.
Yes!! And it's from the start when a parent says "boys shouldn't cry". If you are reading this as a parent break the cycle!!
@@NyathZzZz that's what I plan to do. when I can finally have these conversations with him (he's 3) it'll be a very emotion conversation where i'll probably end up crying and showingi how angry I was an what that path of self destruction did to my life. I'm almost 30 an i've probably cried more this past year than I have in my entire life.
@@NyathZzZzto women !
Exactly 📌 as a woman who watched this through. I cried 😩
@@lucaschalard2838to men! Take accountability
Every single story made me cry. I'm so proud of these men.
He got lucky.
@@Pomni740 who are you?
@@Pomni740 what is ur problem?
“This is how you free yourself and this is how you free those behind you that are terrified”. As a woman who has a lot of men in her life that she looks up to/claims as loved ones, this was a blessing to watch in its entirety. It allows me to understand what a portion of men are dealing with internally. Your experiences are completely your own. And your circumstances are not the same. But we all as a species seem to relate so much regardless. It’s beautiful to hear your truths. This shii hit differenttttt’!!!!!!!!
As a nurse and a mom, i just want to say to the SA victim, I am so sorry they treated you that way. It is ALWAYS important to take SA allegations from men and women both alike seriously and with compassion. ESPECIALLY YOU'RE OWN CHILDREN! She does not represent what a nurse in your situation was supposed to be for you and im so sorry 😔
Meh. Its obvious - female nurses need additional standards to follow, under criminal penalties if the dont, to safeguard men from their potential misandric toxicity.Words are not alone - we expect actions destructive enough for each and every woman in the field to be in fear. Only then we can be sure they will not offend.
I want to give every one of these guys a huge hug for being so brave.
No joke, I think this will be my favorite category on this channel. I really appreciate that many different men share their stories so that you can personally get a different perspective on problems. And at the same time you have the opportunity to break down stereotypes and prejudices in a protected atmosphere, without the focus of judgment.
There you can simply be yourself.
I would be happy to see more episodes!
MORE of this PLEASE Jubilee! This was incredibly healing, insightful & inspiring. It changed my perspective as a woman & mother IMMENSELY, plan to share it with both my son & daughter. I've never ever seen men talk like this & I think its really important for society that we see more things like this that teach us all to have more empathy & humanity for each other & ourselves ❤️ Amazing work Jubilee, keep it up!
never going to happen. you did not listen carefully, making content like this broadcasted to the world cheapens their experience to be judge across the internet . conversations like this should be face to face with us the world listening.
I'm so happy these men felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable and share their stories. They're amazing people and I hope they're all doing great
These moments are EXTREMELY necessary for whichever gender but mostly men. It’s beautiful to see that when opening up you make people think about their own decisions in life.
Johnathan's story was so powerful, we never get to see what life's like for people that have served time for violent crimes. They're forever branded as criminals and society thinks of them as barely human. But it's refreshing to see someone who's reformed and doing well. We see a lot of stories of victims but rarely the stories of perpetrators of a crime.
I hope I'm analyzing this wrong but that smirk when he said "sorry mom" kinda gives me the vibe that he thinks it's cool to have that backstory. "People look at me and think I'm harmless I'm not a tough guy".... Ok?? Idk probably just me
How much of a victim do you have to be to become a perpetrator
He got lucky.
@@Sa_Tatum yeah i agree , feels like he's proud of what he did and isnt too serious , however considering his pasy its maybe how he is
I was quite taken aback by this story/announcement, and I find him rather eerie...
THIS is bravery and courage. Speaking openly, showing vulnerability, and having compassion. I hope these men can continue to take these conversations they’ve experienced, and model this level of compassion & transparency within their own circles. Men do deserve love and kindness, to be treated with respect and dignity, and to be BELIEVED. 💕💛
I'm a young woman but each one of these men's stories had me in tears- like full blown crying, had to get a tissue. Men need spaces to open up and be vulnerable to heal from the impact they carry from all their troubled experiences.
it’s so awful hearing that zach had the courage to disclose to TWO people, including a nurse IN A HOSPITAL and was brushed off both times. his opportunity to grow and heal through support from others in that moment was stolen from him.
@@annihilam3408can u blame him… he said hes trying but yeah its messed up
womp womp
@@annihilam3408Did you stop listening as soon as he said it?!?!? He explained why he felt that way and how it's affected him. This weird cultist mentality some of you have is shocking.
@@annihilam3408 He's having a PTSD reaction that he can't regulate. He's still in the zone of the trauma being active. He may be able to handle reaching out when he's beyond it, but what he's experiencing is common for the level of trauma he went through. It's not irrelevant; rather it's a measure of how unsafe the trauma still is in his psyche.
@@annihilam3408women that were SA by men have a hard time being near men (any men) afterwards too, let alone sleeping in the same room as one. they are not the ones that did it, but they are a constant reminder of the ones that did (their mannerisms, their tone of voice, their scent, anything..)
I just wanted to say thank you to Eric for such a strong way of stating how to move past anger. It is so easy to tap into as a means to drive you, but it's so fickle. Anger was my fuel for such a long time. I actually welled up hearing how to move past that anger put in such a beautiful way.
The eye contact of the blue stripped shirt made me cry. The strength to confront confrontation and not look away is just something to behold. Thank you for sharing you have given a lot for the world to think about. We can only hope that this internal discussion leads to self reflection and improvement ❤
My mom told me not to tell anyone about my rape either. It’s so disgusting to me how many mothers tell their kids to hide this. There is nothing to be shameful about what happened to you, and you should speak up about it.
That’s horrific, I hope you are doing well and are finding peace ❤️
Yes, exactly! No one talks about it!
Men don't have it on easy mode just because we're men, we need each other and we need love too. Don't be afraid to speak your hearts, you're not alone.
You don't have easy mode. You have easier mode
Both genders experienced similar/different things. We should all speak out.
@@tabbymoonshine5986 no females have easy mode
@@AlexClayland1232Did you mean that women have it easier or not? I'm not sure if your comment needed punctuation or not.
@@aspebb Females have it easier in life. Females and women are the same word in most contexts.
The SA conversation makes me want to cry. Because the fact they don’t feel comfortable reporting these crimes because of the way men are treated. It makes me so sad.
I was also M* when I was younger and when I finally told my mom she made me feel valid and called the cops and reported it but NOTHING ever happened to the person… but yearssss later he was murdered and I was happy… karma did her job. Also yearsss after they died, my mother (who is crazy) decided to tell people I made up the entire story.. also told that persons kids, my brother and sister that I lied…. I did not want to tell them because they are too young to understand, to comprehend.
You are not alone. 🖤
y’all act like female victims get protected or prioritized. they don’t.
@@funkunko are you referring to me when you say “ya’ll”?
I'm so confused. The same mother that reported your SA when you were younger was the same mother that invalidated you after you grew up? Did she undergo mental degradation?
love this comment so much
@@funkunko Someone with knowledge of law here, yes they DO!
This is a great Video. This brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
I am sorry about what you have been through. I have been through something similar and was almost depressed, till I contacted a spiritual counsellor who helped me get my ex back and hence my life back.
Interesting. Who is this counsellor, and how do I meet the person?
Online, you'll find shelly renee white, revered for her expertise as a spiritual counsellor. She has the ability to reunite couples and promote holistic well-being.
Sorry you are going thru this, hopefully the both of you will find peace within & move past this.. if not I hope you will accept it & pray about it. If you feel like this is meant to be then don’t give up. Love never fails.. love is forever. ❤ sending you my love !
Sorry to hear this. I think you will feel better once you get another chick
This is why Jubilee will always be my favourite channel on youtube. These are things that need to be talked about, things that need to be brought up to empower other people and let them know that they are not alone. The men in this video had to gather up so much courage to share their stories with the world and I am forever grateful for this.
these men are brave and strong for sharing what they went through. they are seen, heard, and loved.
He got lucky.
@@Pomni740wdym?
People are too judgmental to be honest with.
So true
What's an example?
@@michaelplauche9901men tend to be toxic with friends as a joke yk and that says enough
tell that you dont like lgbt on reddit you get banned. Its insane how much power this group has.
Nah. You people are too quick to "cancel"
(Not you specifically)
I found myself tearing up with Zach, I really feel for his story and admire his courage to come forward
As a woman who holds a lot of stigma against men that’s is unfairly generalized due to past experiences, this was an amazingly eye opening video, and I really appreciate this content because I realized a lot of things about men but also myself and where my views are skewed and how they might perpetuate some of these issues talked about today
Others would never say what you said here. I appreciate you for saying/sharing this
Unfiltered honesty is what we need in this current world we live in. Unfortunately, I don't think people will be 100% honest in front of millions of potential people.
No one is 100% honest, we aren t even 100 to ourselves
@@andreeaciurescu9942 exactly🙁
Seeing vulnerable men has to honestly be the highlight of my entire existence
Ikr. XY are everything emotionally that XX are, they just have rarely been allowed to show that sensitive fragile side bc society wants to have a reason to make half of humanity seem weak and second class. But everything men need emotionally from women is already included in themselves. That’s my worldview and my own opinion. It doesn’t make XX worthless, just proves that everyone should be seen as an equal with those organs as the only significant difference.
That's a very sad existence
Of your entire existence?
bro what
To Others life can really be that bad, appreciate this honesty. 🙏🏼
please, we need more videos like this. i've felt so much pain because of not being able to control my anger a few times as a young adult. i was constantly ashamed of myself, having nightmares about what i did, hiding from others hoping they'd never get to know the "real me", ended up suicidal and depressed. it is such a relief to hear other men share the same experiences and to see i'm not alone in this. the worst part is feeling like you have to hide what you did because otherwise everyone will see you as a bad person or a villain
i went to church recently and the lesson at the end was on forgiveness. there is a difference between forgiveness and forgetting. just because you forgive someone does not mean you’ll welcome them back to the table. and that’s something i never really put together w/ the forgive and forget. i always felt you had to forgive the person and forget their wrong doings !! you should never forget what they did wrong but you should forgive them for you own self, forgive them for your growth, the change, the lesson, the strength, and then let them go. if that means they never come back into your life again so be it because you did what you had to do to let it go!
The courage it takes to share these stories, and the heartbreak of hearing their pain and struggles, this was a really touching episode. What I love about this episode, and like the others in this series in particular, is the way everyone validates one another, gives empathy, and provides space for one another. I hope other men who have experienced similar situations can feel the same validation and feeling of not being alone.
And to those who do feel alone or don't feel safe enough to talk through it yet just know that you're not alone, your experiences and feelings are valid, and that there are people who are by your side to support you - both now and if/when you are ready to talk.
Victim is a social status as this point 😂
@@Thegreatblazingsun You just proved the point.
Watching this video I thought if something I don't typically think of. The statistics of SA cases, 97% of predators never see any form of punishment, its 1/6 men that get SA'd and 1/3 women that get SA'd. these are INSANE numbers, LITERALY INSANE. Those are so many people with that type of trauma it is INSANE. It is just horribly insane how many people are victims of SA myself included and still convictions rates are so low its laughable for all the wrong reasons.
Disgusting statistics all around. As a victim myself, I find myself not wanting to be in a world where it’s so common, and just as bad that so many predators get away with it. Living with the hypervigilance, anxiety, and the debilitating fear of men is hardly a life at all. Anyway my heart goes out to you, I hope you find some peace and healing
@@sav44474 I agree with you the world sucks when it comes to these things. I hope you find peace and healing too
Jonathan, I just want you to know that I relate to you. I know how it feels to have all of that anger boiling up inside you and you don't know what to do with it. I actually got to a point where I was scared of myself and what I might do if I ever happened to end up in a situation like yours. It takes a lot of courage to stand up there and take accountability for your actions. And not only to take accountability, but to actually work towards healing. You deserve to show love and compassion to yourself. We all make mistakes, but it takes a strong person to admit them and choose to change. I'm proud of you, and I believe in you. The journey is rough, but the end result is worth it. 💜
This was a great episode and I hope it’s healing for many men. I didn’t realize 1 in 6 men are sexually assaulted. That’s alarming. You aren’t alone. I was drugged and sexually assaulted multiple times before I was 25. It affected me so much that I isolated myself for years. I don’t even have memories of what happened but it still affects me to this day. I think anyone who goes through this experience deserves grace, understanding and validation. I’m a woman and I believe you. I’m so proud of all of you for sharing your story.
omfg im so sorry you had to go through that you are insanely strong and thank you for sharing
Bro why do women always talk about themselves after men issues are talked about. Like y’all women’s issues are talked about every day not men’s issues
@@maikeruxo9569 ???? Because she related to the men and wanted to tell them they're not alone and they have support? Surely you're not actually that obtuse? Wow.
and many more men are victims, not just 1 in 6. Its just that law, especially feminism-pushed law, says, in most cases, that its only a crime if the victim is female, or when perpetrator is male. Female-on-male crime is mostly stated to be empowerment and her using her societal rights.
What a great empathetic comment that definitely adds to the discussion! Xdd @@maikeruxo9569
This is why it is so so important to always find ways for your male (in this case) friends to feel like they have a safe space with you and to know that their experiences are just as valid, just as serious as everyone else’s. No one deserves to feel as though they need to keep their traumas and their feelings locked up because of others. We all deserve the space to be vulnerable and open without feeling shame
He got lucky.
@@Pomni740grow up
true, but we also need to be wary of being turned into unpaid therapists. I can only speak to my experience, but I've dealt with a lot of emotional vampires in my life as an empathetic person, to the point where I live kind of solitarily now just to avoid the exhaustion of the constant trauma dumping. it's a tough line to walk and I think that boundary is different for everyone for sure.
Society is slowly advancing towards a world where men feel safe to share and express their darkest secrets and buried feelings
this. we are here for it 🤍
and we all have been waiting for this!
It's really not. In fact, it's the opposite. Just ask women. Men sharing feelings or worse crying is the #1 'ICK'.
Not really, on social media all you see is people flaming men lmao. Maybe if we get rid of social media we can have a better world.
@@wekurtz72 Every single woman I know is a strong advocate for men to fully express their emotions. You are blinded by the bad things you see online.
I'm glad that all of them stood up and talked about their secrets and I hope that they diminish the pain and lessen the weight of not ever talking about it, even for a little bit, and speaking up on the show, I feel very proud of them.
I feel so heartbroken for these men but also so incredibly impressed that they voiced their secrets and the amazing empathy and care they showed to each other. Made me cry. I hope they can heal and have supportive people in their life. The incredible bravery and vulnerability is incredible. I want to give a hug to each of these men
Bro Johnathan’s story is so important. It’s so easy to write off people as horrible people when they deal with anger problems. People are so scared of them nobody wants to talk or show them any love.
i thought the same thing like he was so brave for that
11:05 this made me cry. I’m so so sorry! It’s disgusting how people don’t take rape seriously especially when it comes to men. Normal people don’t just say they were freaking raped. If someone says that, it’s serious. That stuffs not a freaking joke. I’m so sorry and the monster who did that to you, who took away your freewill deserves to be punished to the highest degree. Just know your feelings are valued, however much time you need you take it. It’s horrifying that a person, so many people could do something so dehumanizing and horrible.
in most media male on male and female on male rape is used as comedy it just goes to show how common it is for it to not be taken seriously
“Everytime I talk about this it’s like I get my power back a lil more” YASSSS YASSS THANK YOU FOR PUTTING IT INTO WORDS FOR ME
"That's the power of vulnerability, you give people permission to open up."
Yep
It is seriously disheartening to see how many people are using the courage of these men as a way to put down women in these comments. Instead of spreading hate and bitterness, let's celebrate the progress we're making as a society and talk about the strength of the people in this video.
It shouldn't be about either of those things. It about showing empathy. If some dude was talking about losing his arm in a war would you comment about celebrating? No, the point is these people are struggling and they need people to actually care about them, not celebrate them talking.
Exactly. There was another video where women had done this same video and women just uplifted one another without bringing men down in the comments! These men should be supported, not used as a step stool for misogyny.
@@surislife funny i seen a couple comments doing the exact opposite of that same video. Men are always bashed by women online. Men respond and men get bitter but then theyre seen as the problem. Nobody cares what yall say anymore. Youre not the innocent ppl u claim to be
Totally, that's a great opportunity to discuss how to make the life of the guys in our lives better, emotionally, and people wanna turn it into a gender war, like, who does it help? Who benefits from this?
Always gender politcs just enjoy the video
I believe you Zach, and I'm sorry that the people in your life and the justice system failed you. I hope you can heal, I hope all these men can heal ❤️
He got lucky.
cry bout it
@@Pomni740i see you comment on alot of video’s saying this. What do you mean by it?..
I’m so proud of all these guys. Talking about these difficult topics shed the light on them, and give others the courage to open up.
29 minutes and 43 seconds. I wish this was 2 hours!! Great insight into male humanity and I applaud these gentlemen for being vulnerable with each other
We need more people to see men as humans again.
I am a therapist who just graduated with my masters in counseling. While in the diagnosis class of my program, we began going over excoriation/dermatillomania. I had just learned that what I had done for so many years that I was so ashamed of was a thing and had a name just a few months prior to us talking about it in class. I was dreading the day we were going to talk about it. Then suddenly, one of my friends in my cohort named that she was going to be brave and shared that she had excoriation. I suddenly felt so much less alone in that struggle than I had ever felt before in my life. And before I knew it, I found myself saying that she wasn’t alone and that I had it too. We cried and hugged and our professor cried too. That’s what happens when you have so many empathetic therapists in one room lol. It was one of the most freeing moments of my life. And that is why I think videos like this are so special.
I would love to see a video of people revealing their mental illnesses that they feel ashamed of having and discussing their experience with it. There are so many stereotypes about mental illness and I would love to hear from actual people who experience them. A lot of people live totally normal lives with things like schizophrenia yet are made out to be “crazy” in certain contexts like tv shows.
It took me years to find out the name for dermatillomania. I used to have a Tumblr account. I saw a girl with the same chest scars as myself.
I asked what she had she said dermatillomania. It took 25 years to finally have a name for it. It was a breath of fresh air to finally find someone who went through the same thing.
It took me so long to find a name for it, my mom would take me to the doctors because of all of the rings and scabs on my legs and arms, people thought I was burning myself with cigarettes as a form of self harm. It moved from my legs and arms to only my face and my acne and I still struggle with it today but it is not as serious as it was
I used to do this and I have a friend who currently struggles with it but she sees a dermatologist and wears gloves.
The tension and abuse between genders throughout the world can be helped by understanding, validation, compassion. Common invalidations towards women sound like “oh you’re just doing it for attention” or “you’re being dramatic” and for men it can sound like “you sound like a whimp” or just stone silence. Everyone needs to be heard because our past traumas can deeply impact others. It’s all to easy to yell “well what about me?!” when we see a group of people being noticed, and I get that. But don’t take their moments of healing away from them. Be patient and you can find your paths to healing. I’m so proud of the progress that humans have made in the world. We have so much ahead of us and I have hope that we’ll collectively become more humane :)
Womp womp
@@cyrusfilemu659 nobody loves you
This has to be the best thing jubilee has put out. My heart goes out to all the men brave enough to b on this esp. and all the men that went through sum and watched this just know u clearly aren’t alone and u are loved and more then enough. Once again I appreciate yall for posting this shout out to yall we need more attention on men that have been through things such as R and SA, bc people think bc it’s not being talked about it’s not happening. ❤❤
I feel for these men. It happens to way too many people. I’m a woman but very very similar experience with being disregarded by even family. Understanding the fact that you never know what someone is going through helped me with the anger. Respect to all these men and anyone else going through hardships. Y’all are strong ❤️
Jubliee: Let's do a really emotional video, and let's put an ad after every secret.
The ads were even fast-forwarding the video for me, so I had to rewind to hear the prompt. CZcams is a joke.
@@whateverwhatever4026 Yeah, how dare you youtube attempting to monetize your platform...
adblock vroom vroom
CZcams premium 🗣🔥☠️
Ad blockers on top
Men need more talks like this. We keep it inside, as rage.
no we don't. Most men regularly share with their other male friends. Just not in public or around women because women (I'm generalizing of course) punish the men that do. There are of course men without friends or male family members that do lack it though for sure. I just wanted to make it clear the idea most men dont share is a myth. Women think it because they dont see it and that's where the myth comes from, then the men that dont have it believe the myth and so aren't aware the men sharing is totally normal and common place. Men go fishing for example and talk about their lives and any issues they're having...but when the wives are there do not.
Outside of these moments, people don't care. We don't turn inwards because we are stunted. We turn inwards, because realistically, we are the only support system we have. Us against the world.
For some men it can be used as fuel
I want to hug all of them. Thank you for being vulnerable.
My mother has done the same thing , I also went through something similar how ever I was SA for a year by my own family. And I’ve only just come out about it, and my mothers response was selfish . Very similar situation I told my mother three years ago and she brushed it under the carpet . So I genuinely understand the statement of “ Every time I tell my story, I take my power back”
Im proud of these men for speaking up and for having tough conversations .
I just want to give them all a big hug! 😢 They (and many other men) have gone through so much and don't deserve the invalidation they get when they share something that truly hurt them. I wish that each of you are able to find a safe place to be vulnerable and find true healing, peace, and closure.
As a therapist that works with boys and men, I'm overjoyed that these men stepped up and shared their stories. It gives others a path forward to do the same. Thank you for prioritizing men's mental health and mental health in general, Jubilee.
Thank you Jubilee for this amazing video and for creating this space. This is how we heal and break destructive cycles - meeting each other openly and telling our stories. Even though we haven't been trough exactly the same things there are always aspects where we can relate.
It's truly beautiful to wittness men meeting like this. Kudos to all of them for their bravery and for bringing light to this world.
These are the types of videos that can be therapy for guys that are too afraid to seek the help professionally. Well done, Jubilee.
It’s not only the secrets themselves, but the details and vivid stories, even the physicality they shared while telling them that make this so wildly gripping and important. All icons.
💫✨⭐️❤️
Thank you for being strong enough to share your stories and your strength does not go unnoticed ever.
I support each of you on your journey of healing and I pray for you.
Thank you for inspiring me to do better as a sister, a mother, a friend and a person overall.
You each deserve so much goodness and I trust and pray it will come
I hate that societal expectations leave so many strong men like these men alone in pain. It’s devastating to see any person so cruelly wounded being forced into silence by reckless stereotypes. I wish them all happiness and peace. 😢
These men were all so brave. It takes real guts to stand up there and be so open. Respect to them all.
this is heart-breaking and beautiful. i love when people open up, for their sake, but also for how it helps others. this is really educational and helpful to many. so proud of u all for talking about this, and for those going thru it, there are people around you who are as well, you are not alone.
He got lucky.
@@Pomni740 ?
I am bawling my eyes out. I love seeing men be vulnerable and not what they’re “portrayed” to be or “suppose” to be
I love how you guys shared a lot of things with each other. I could never get myself to share anything with anyone