My mother was toxic and a narcissit. I refused to raise my daughters that way | Lynn Ngugi Show

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  • čas přidán 21. 11. 2021
  • Anne Njugi is wonderful mother of two daughters but at her age she still remembers the spiteful things her mother said and did.
    She admits she was raised by such a toxic mother who would always blame her and inflict so much pain in her life.
    So, how did she move past this and how has this affected her as a mother?
    Here is Lynn Ngugi with today's episode of the Lynn Ngugi Show
    #LynnNgugiShow #LynnNgugi

Komentáře • 2K

  • @amoitlaureen3878
    @amoitlaureen3878 Před 2 lety +314

    A NARCISSISTIC MOTHER WILL
    1. ENMESH HER SONS
    2. EMASCULATE HER HUSBAND
    3. TREAT HER DAUGHTER AS A COMPETITOR
    4. TREAT HER DAUGHTER IN LAW AS A THREAT

    • @wn4428
      @wn4428 Před 2 lety +7

      True

    • @mwembad
      @mwembad Před 2 lety +8

      Well said

    • @cynthiaodera8207
      @cynthiaodera8207 Před 2 lety +25

      Well said, a true reflection of what happened to me until I cut off. She will include relatives, neighbors and every Tom,Dick and Harry to character assassinate their target. They are usually attention seekers and cowards who can't handle their issues and use others as a landing spot and the masses to rally behind them to justify their actions while playing victims

    • @zuzuzoe7419
      @zuzuzoe7419 Před 2 lety +3

      Hard to accept by true thank God am better now

    • @janetwairagu4462
      @janetwairagu4462 Před 2 lety +8

      Let's also add that the disorders that come with the narc mum on her children are so bad they mimic bipolar disorder ... Some are surrogate spouse syndrome and borderline personality disorder .

  • @stillirise6086
    @stillirise6086 Před 2 lety +590

    How do we ignore the fact that she looks too good for a 49 year old.

  • @mercylynirungu9531
    @mercylynirungu9531 Před 2 lety +332

    I reasonate with her story.People just don’t know how being raised by a toxic mum is hurtful.😭😢it’s even harder trying to reclaim one’s life.

    • @wambui-njagi4681
      @wambui-njagi4681 Před 2 lety

      That's a burnt out mother

    • @nkanduchinzewe7108
      @nkanduchinzewe7108 Před 2 lety +1

      May the Lord bless you for choosing love over hate.

    • @estherwanjiku414
      @estherwanjiku414 Před 2 lety

      @@wambui-njagi4681 I am...

    • @wambui-njagi4681
      @wambui-njagi4681 Před 2 lety +1

      @@estherwanjiku414 hugs to you, dear

    • @gwg216
      @gwg216 Před rokem

      And some of this our parents dont change that toxicity even when one becomes a fully grown adult

  • @michelleabigael2793
    @michelleabigael2793 Před 2 lety +817

    That's my mom. Extremely proud daughter

    • @suzanmyles1075
      @suzanmyles1075 Před 2 lety +15

      So sweet to be proud of yr mom @Michelle Abigael

    • @BlessedLady1978
      @BlessedLady1978 Před 2 lety +6

      Isn't she beautiful...my niece needs to see this....

    • @shizma7917
      @shizma7917 Před 2 lety +3

      @Anne Njugi waow so nice to bring up this topic.

    • @waithiranjoroge5930
      @waithiranjoroge5930 Před 2 lety +12

      Give her a hug on my behalf and love on her hard because she deserves it.

    • @riancyblue9
      @riancyblue9 Před 2 lety +3

      Wow nice

  • @acw079
    @acw079 Před 2 lety +645

    I've been dealing with this for years and the worst thing about it is how society blames us for cutting contact or choosing to remain distant. Its time for the African community to also acknowledge toxic mothers as much as we talk about toxic fathers.

    • @ogolalilian2709
      @ogolalilian2709 Před 2 lety +30

      @ Lorna, mimi hata namba yake Sina na sitaki kuwa nayo

    • @lucymwaura2459
      @lucymwaura2459 Před 2 lety +8

      Sure

    • @janetwairagu4462
      @janetwairagu4462 Před 2 lety +15

      This is my story just that now we're on good terms

    • @acw079
      @acw079 Před 2 lety +36

      @@janetwairagu4462 But there are some who will never be on good terms. Just constant toxicity and its best to keep a distance.

    • @jackiemarangu8484
      @jackiemarangu8484 Před 2 lety +38

      I thought I'm alone but i have realised we are many

  • @evelynembabazi351
    @evelynembabazi351 Před 2 lety +229

    We should stop making excuses for our narcists parents. Wow, am 46 and just realised there is some childhood trauma am yet to deal with. I need to apologize to my kids too. Thank you for sharing.

    • @Ladypeace12312
      @Ladypeace12312 Před 2 lety +2

      Pole. I hope u find the strength to confront your childhood trauma. That's the only way u'll heal.

  • @margaretwambui9709
    @margaretwambui9709 Před 2 lety +71

    Hi Ann.I was also born in 1972.Mum gave me away at 3 years of age to her younger sister.I went through hell as my antie had pathological hatred towards me.Mom hates me up to today.Whenever she gets a chance she slanders me but for the last five years I just left her alone,forgave her and moved on.God has been my father and mother and OK now.

    • @alicealice4426
      @alicealice4426 Před 2 lety +5

      So sorry for what you went through Ann. I am glad you forgave her and moved on you set yourself free for sure. May God surround you with loving and kind people.

    • @ms.thomas5758
      @ms.thomas5758 Před 2 lety

      Bless you 🙏 ♥

    • @marynassuuna7474
      @marynassuuna7474 Před 2 lety +1

      @margaret wambui, that's painful. May God heal you dear. Parents are supposed to love and protect us, but they disappoint us sometimes surely!

    • @Ladypeace12312
      @Ladypeace12312 Před 2 lety +2

      Pole sana. Remember evil people come in all shapes and forms. They come in form of aunties, mothers, police, any title

    • @elizabethwanjiru3846
      @elizabethwanjiru3846 Před 2 lety

      Pole sana mungu akupe nguvu, watu upitia mangumu,. Ulimwengu uko na vituko sana.

  • @dalidzucheredi2495
    @dalidzucheredi2495 Před 2 lety +50

    Many parents in our time were like this. They made us feel like we interrupted their important lives and we need to grow up quickly succeed in life and pay back for spending all their money and time. Abused people abuse people.

  • @christinenjeri4623
    @christinenjeri4623 Před 2 lety +207

    Guys let's appreciate her eloquence in English...she looks very beautiful at 50's God will sure reward all she lost❤️

  • @estheranne8947
    @estheranne8947 Před 2 lety +175

    Anyone gonna talk about her getting a D+ in high-school and later on flying so high academically🤔?SOMETIMES IT'S NOT LACK OF INTELLIGENCE IT'S LACK OF FOCUS.So impressive.

    • @mazaocc8065
      @mazaocc8065 Před 2 lety +12

      Its only that colonialism worked on our minds. Since when do grades indicate intelligence😕

    • @estheranne8947
      @estheranne8947 Před 2 lety +5

      @Wilma her lack of focus wasn't by choice,i get that,but still it's worth noting that she could've gotten comfortable with that high school grade like many have done but her determination prevailed. It's an inspiring story regardless.

    • @anastasiawanjiku
      @anastasiawanjiku Před 2 lety +1

      I spotted that too and was my only comment

    • @Habibtay
      @Habibtay Před 2 lety +6

      Exactly, one of my relatives got a D+ too and she's a whole Dr. with a PhD in Management Accounting from University of Bristol. Focus is everything.

    • @joanolisa1
      @joanolisa1 Před 2 lety +3

      I got a D + and I am extremely successful. I am a Masters prepared Nurse in the US. Sometimes it’s resources and trauma. I was so smart but never driven in boarding schools in Kenya. Anyways 🤷🏽‍♀️

  • @cathywanjiku1306
    @cathywanjiku1306 Před 2 lety +23

    If you have not encountered a narcissitic mother, you will never understand this video.
    It is hell. It diminishes you. You try to make strides in life, your mother drags you back.
    Sisi tumejionea hii dunia.

    • @janetnyaboke7637
      @janetnyaboke7637 Před 2 lety +1

      Pia mimi waah it's hell

    • @riancyblue9
      @riancyblue9 Před 2 lety +1

      Ukweli mtupu

    • @gracenzuki1298
      @gracenzuki1298 Před 2 lety

      True the worst experience but thank God I moved out with the help of dad, avng a family n happy. Upto now she hasn't changed but I chose my life n avoided everything from her.

    • @debakugue2624
      @debakugue2624 Před 2 lety

      So so true!

  • @aminakiragu6138
    @aminakiragu6138 Před 2 lety +26

    My mother literally feels jealous and she is never happy of any of my achievements. She always blame us for not being successful at her young age as me and my sister. I don’t even share good News with her anytime. She sabotages my job, my college and even my relationship with a good man

  • @priscillaw1813
    @priscillaw1813 Před 2 lety +154

    Not every woman should have children. Some women can never be mothers no matter how much they try.

    • @shizma7917
      @shizma7917 Před 2 lety +12

      Exactly and thats why some of us have no kids but the society eye tho😇😇😇

    • @salomemwangi406
      @salomemwangi406 Před 2 lety +8

      Well said 🙏🙏 every woman thinks it's a must,and raise up broken generation.

    • @wambui-njagi4681
      @wambui-njagi4681 Před 2 lety +2

      In this case her mother would be beaten frequently by her husband. Nothing normy about that

    • @phillipsidhojapap1461
      @phillipsidhojapap1461 Před 2 lety +7

      @@wambui-njagi4681 she had separated from her husband. So, why continue abusing the children. You can never justify/excuse an evil parent/bad parenting

    • @graycieweru
      @graycieweru Před 2 lety

      @@shizma7917 and

  • @tomkiptenai9756
    @tomkiptenai9756 Před 2 lety +86

    Ann is my colleague. She is a fantastic soul easy to work with. Great lesson from your experiences

  • @jayshaven6837
    @jayshaven6837 Před 2 lety +372

    Story of my life. When you tell people parents can be toxic, they call you disrespectful or ungrateful. People are depressed and others are committing suicide because of toxic family members. If you have an opportunity to distance yourselves from them please run and cut contact.

  • @Unavailable981
    @Unavailable981 Před 2 lety +78

    Oh man...13 minutes into the interview and I'm already crying because that's what I've been going through. Conditioned compliance...I didn't know it had a name. Among the worst case is her calling me ugly and unrespectable lady in the society. Did a number on my esteem for years I can't even explain it. Emotional abuse is the worst. Still healing, and distance has helped a lot. Working on forgiving, but not interested in trying to build a relationship with her. 'She's still your mother' is a statement one should never think of saying. I swore to never have kids because of how I was treated. I hope for better days.

    • @itsmimi4135
      @itsmimi4135 Před 2 lety +2

      take heart..you are not alone

    • @aokookello5564
      @aokookello5564 Před 2 lety +4

      Same here. I'm not sure if I really want kids after my childhood experience

    • @deliteful1991
      @deliteful1991 Před 2 lety +2

      My mom did the same. She has said something negative to say to each of my sisters and we’ve carried that with us into adulthood.

    • @natukundababra7378
      @natukundababra7378 Před 2 lety +2

      I speak healing for all of us ,my narcissist parent is my dad

    • @MsTishalish
      @MsTishalish Před 2 lety +5

      Forgiving her does not mean access to you! Keep your distance.

  • @belindakiptui8360
    @belindakiptui8360 Před 2 lety +127

    No one notices how Lynn is dressed up.so amazing.i love you lynn

    • @ogolalilian2709
      @ogolalilian2709 Před 2 lety +7

      Lynn is always decent...yeye si kama wale wa kuanika mapaja na tumbo, she's always mwaa❤️

    • @janekagure8807
      @janekagure8807 Před 2 lety

      Heee!Niliona but ngai but siku comment

  • @debakugue2624
    @debakugue2624 Před 2 lety +130

    Beautiful beautiful story! I’m Nigerian, and I could relate with everything you said. Watching and listening to you has been really therapeutic. One of the things that used to be so frustrating was when I tried to speak up about it,and I was hushed like it was some sort of taboo,Africans,we need to sit up. What I’m so grateful about is that no matter how hard she tried to drive a wedge between my siblings and I,she never succeeded (another reason I think she despises me). I’ll definitely keep loving and caring for her,but it’s going to be from a distance. With love from Lagos.

    • @bellabelle3837
      @bellabelle3837 Před 2 lety +4

      Is like u part of my farmly that is all ways my mom attitude.. sorry mom but that is the truth

    • @troseya4221
      @troseya4221 Před 2 lety +1

      This was also therapeutic for me

  • @ludwe7857
    @ludwe7857 Před 2 lety +100

    I can relate to this so much, the hardest part is actually accepting that they will never change and all you can really do is block and move on. Otherwise your childhood experience will keep repeating itself..

    • @OpulentAristocrat
      @OpulentAristocrat Před 2 lety +4

      Absolutely!

    • @Tootruetootrue
      @Tootruetootrue Před 2 lety +5

      They will never change and you are not evil for wanting a better life, cut off your dead weight and live free.

  • @kifoobar6810
    @kifoobar6810 Před 2 lety +29

    I am a man with a father who has a narcissistic personality. Growing up my image of manhood was violence, egotistic behaviors, manipulation, lack of empathy and other toxic behaviors. This distorted my sense of what it means to be a human and a man in this world. But, I finally started to seek help 1 year ago because my childhood trauma was catching up with me. Just know that your testimony, as a fellow African, really touched my heart.

  • @agnesmbaluka4260
    @agnesmbaluka4260 Před 2 lety +225

    I can relate,, the worst thing about emotional abuse is that it has no evidence, and it kills and destroys you day by day, you become conditioned to funny defend mechanism, am glad people are coming out to talk about it ❤️❤️❤️

    • @ThatBeeyatch
      @ThatBeeyatch Před 2 lety +14

      Absolutely. It is often more traumatic even than physical abuse .

    • @deelove6138
      @deelove6138 Před 2 lety +8

      @@ThatBeeyatch its worse!!!weuh..emotional abuse aki wewe..physical people will see and will run to help..but emotional utaambiwa be strong😞.you will be told its all in your head..that we all have stress so kaa ngumu...it makes you question your sanity and makes you feel of a lesser human being..

    • @agnesmbaluka4260
      @agnesmbaluka4260 Před 2 lety +7

      @@deelove6138 you will be told how you should understand the other person, and every time when you try to express your feelings and emotions,, the society labels you as crazy, rude, trouble maker , you always live to question your sanity

    • @lauranawire5079
      @lauranawire5079 Před 2 lety +6

      @@agnesmbaluka4260 and to make it worse is when people tell you that you should be grateful because of t he things they do for you... yaani basic things that a parent should actually do for their child, so sad

    • @njokicarolinecaroline7607
      @njokicarolinecaroline7607 Před 2 lety +4

      I was also rejected by my family members for three years.my mom used to say that I died but God got me

  • @shikohmuriithi5216
    @shikohmuriithi5216 Před 2 lety +78

    I know most of 90's babies can relate,mums wakiwa na stress walikua wanakuja kututolea by beating us ruthlessly...But thank God we are here we are,through God's grace.

    • @marymuiruri6372
      @marymuiruri6372 Před 2 lety +1

      True

    • @carolinewanjiru6847
      @carolinewanjiru6847 Před 2 lety +9

      Really, and the way so many are drinking alcohol like there's no tomorrow. We are lucky that hard drugs are not easily accessible and religion has saved many. Trauma is alive and well in this generation....ni vile watu hawaongeangi

    • @joycekamau2858
      @joycekamau2858 Před 2 lety

      Born 70s that is...

    • @shikohmuriithi5216
      @shikohmuriithi5216 Před 2 lety +3

      @@joycekamau2858 was talking about my time

    • @shikohmuriithi5216
      @shikohmuriithi5216 Před 2 lety +1

      @@carolinewanjiru6847 thats why I said we are here through God's grace..

  • @sonyia7521
    @sonyia7521 Před 2 lety +27

    My mum did this to our firstborn sister, it was bad and it also affected me. Unfortunately, my sister wasnt well off financially, so I can imagine how it feels when one is rejected and no money or livelihood.

  • @tik4toks260
    @tik4toks260 Před 2 lety +41

    Lynn please do more stories like this..We talk about toxic fathers, husbands but we rarely talk of Toxic mothers

    • @whyjay014
      @whyjay014 Před 2 lety +4

      Yeah everyone praises mothers but not all of them deserve the praises

    • @rorijaz.m4647
      @rorijaz.m4647 Před rokem

      Honestly

  • @queenofpersia8272
    @queenofpersia8272 Před 2 lety +33

    I think there is a generation of people probably those born between 1960-1989 who were brought up by very toxic parents. Had these parents gone through traumatic childhoods that they passed on the anger and bitterness to their children? Only God knows
    Peace and love to everyone suffering inside

    • @rosewambui8026
      @rosewambui8026 Před 2 lety +1

      Yes they did..Worse

    • @wambuiesther70
      @wambuiesther70 Před 2 lety

      true n poverty fueled it so much.

    • @TempermentalTart
      @TempermentalTart Před 2 lety

      Many times their childhoods we're even worse... It's generational.

    • @queenofpersia8272
      @queenofpersia8272 Před 2 lety

      @@TempermentalTart true. we need to break the generational curse. We start by doing better for our children

  • @sylviakiyimba962
    @sylviakiyimba962 Před 2 lety +42

    Isn’t it inspiring that this lovely lady shared the dichotomy between her mother and herself, demonstrating that she made a choice to be a better parent to her children. Love her children, care and nurture them in the right way regardless of their gender and regardless of how she was brought up. 👏🏽 👏🏽 👏🏽

  • @jacquelineflowers1795
    @jacquelineflowers1795 Před 2 lety +36

    It was so refreshing to hear Anne Njugi's story. We have been taught to 'love your mother, she's the only mother you have.' It is taboo to turn your back on an emotionally, psychologically abusive mother. We tell our girls to leave abusive husbands and boyfriends, however never abusive mothers. My mother is also abusive narcissist. Her method of abuse was rarely physical, however she has called us names, she has said many times that she wishes she never had us, she's always angry and miserable, always wants her way, never listens with understanding " her way or the highway." My siblings and i are in our 50th and we still suffer from her dysfunctional behavior ... I have tried to be a good daughter, but she lashes out at me. Finally, I just blocked her.
    When she tells the story, she cries and always blames us. All we want to do is live our lives in peace. Thank you Anne. God Bless you and family.

    • @deliteful1991
      @deliteful1991 Před 2 lety +4

      Thank you for sharing your story. It’s almost identical to mine. My mom has gotten worse since her divorce from my father. I moved her in with me and she began asking about my finances. She was very intrusive and had no respect of boundaries. When I wouldn’t indulge her with my business she would get upset. She used money as her way of apologizing but would never take accountability for her actions. The last straw was when she called the police on me and said I was mentally and emotionally abusive towards her. She has lied on me to my siblings,aunt,and uncle. I just can’t take it anymore and blocked her out of my life. I will always love her and pray for her. It will be from a distance.

    • @alta7777
      @alta7777 Před rokem

      This is EXACTLY what many family members and friends do not understand. The try and quilt you into staying in an abusive relationship because it’s a parent.

  • @VionaNJOGU
    @VionaNJOGU Před 2 lety +53

    Finally this topic needs to be addressed. Narcism and emotional abuse from parents . Kwanza our African parents don't realize how they suppress their children's emotions by denying them an opportunity to express themselves. Also the thing about resorting to violence for every mistake eventually amplifies emotional abuse.

  • @psalmpaul8942
    @psalmpaul8942 Před 2 lety +27

    My take home - Books don't lie. When the opportunity presents itself, take it with both hands.
    New word - Guilt tripping, conditioned compliance.
    How often have we been guilt tripped? and yes, sometimes conditioned compliance is the way to go for peace lovers. I love peace. When something will not add value to me, avoid it than start those endless wars.

  • @ndegwamugo9304
    @ndegwamugo9304 Před 2 lety +211

    Two topics that are always discussed in hushed tones
    1. A narcissist parent especially a female parent. It is assumed that all mothers are angels and she must have been going through some pain to harm or do bad things to you
    2. A stepfather topic. A stepmother is a normal and acceptable discussion. Feminists and bitter women assume a mother cannot be replaced but a father is he who brought you up. So the role of a father is more of provision rather than biological.

    • @angulaaagula5926
      @angulaaagula5926 Před 2 lety +6

      APPARTHIED mother is all about hates... Hateful mother is their choice! Everyone is experienced pain in their life... But we do not need to put our pain, animals, chickens or small children......

    • @gracembugua5315
      @gracembugua5315 Před 2 lety +20

      I like the prophetic utterances of calling Anne muzungu, she ended up marrying a muzungu. Words have power, either positive or negative.
      My suggestion is, can Ann go find her dad and bless him too. He loved her very much and he should share her blessings.

    • @gracembugua5315
      @gracembugua5315 Před 2 lety +5

      Anne, may God continue to elevate you. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your story. I like the happy ending. Mvumilivu hula mbivu.

    • @nancy1256.
      @nancy1256. Před 2 lety +7

      I almost developed her mums behaviour aki may God help me 🥲🥲

    • @anastasiawanjiku
      @anastasiawanjiku Před 2 lety +1

      @@gracembugua5315 she didn’t mention the dad again after he moved to shags, going by what she mentioned that he was alcoholic n had health issues... labda he’s not more🤔🤷🏾‍♀️

  • @IvyRobee
    @IvyRobee Před 2 lety +51

    i love how composed she was while narrating her story.i would have broken down a million times.thats one stong woman ❤️

  • @carolinekolom5510
    @carolinekolom5510 Před 2 lety +35

    Some parents are a curse. This lady’s blessings came through as a result of cutting off with her evil mother…. You cannot be a blessings to someone who doesn’t want your blessings.

    • @imahighvaluewoman4424
      @imahighvaluewoman4424 Před 2 lety

      My mum kicked me out this August mind you she hasn’t been in my life 15 years I raised my sister but she would send us finances but the pain is still fresh I don’t know how to overcome the insults and abuse I’ve been through

    • @carolinekolom5510
      @carolinekolom5510 Před 2 lety +2

      @@imahighvaluewoman4424 when you learn that how people treat you have nothing to do with you, but their unresolved issues, you look back, laugh and live as is try never existed.

    • @imahighvaluewoman4424
      @imahighvaluewoman4424 Před 2 lety +1

      @@carolinekolom5510 I’m learning to stop blaming myself for how some people treated me. It’s still a work in progress

    • @imzulu635
      @imzulu635 Před 2 lety

      @@imahighvaluewoman4424 Very painful, so sorry dear.
      I have so much hatred towards my biological mother.

  • @Karry45
    @Karry45 Před 2 lety +85

    Thanks for choosing to share this because Apparently most of us who grew up in the 80s /90s suffered from narcissistic parents which is never spoken in our society and that has continously affected our lives and left us broken as adults.. Am glad that you choose to be better than bitter am also molding myself into a better person.

  • @WanjiruMuya
    @WanjiruMuya Před 2 lety +131

    My parents marriage taught me that being married is not everything 🌚can't tolerate abuse just for a title of being Mrs Nani🌝.

    • @jeddymoon3803
      @jeddymoon3803 Před 2 lety +4

      True

    • @rachellarry5803
      @rachellarry5803 Před 2 lety +4

      Same here

    • @narcissisticabuseawareness3607
      @narcissisticabuseawareness3607 Před 2 lety +4

      I agree

    • @florencek5736
      @florencek5736 Před 2 lety +6

      True ,,,,abuse comes in very many forms.. Even when you leave it follows you cuz you have children together.......Then we ended up hurting our own children....and we cannot excuse it anymore...

    • @Joyful-gu5bj
      @Joyful-gu5bj Před 2 lety +1

      My late Loving Mum said the same words and it's so true

  • @carolynekipkosgei5555
    @carolynekipkosgei5555 Před 2 lety +63

    We are in a society where we are not supposed to talk about toxic and narcissistic parents. So we continue to suffer even as adults.

  • @YeshiZulu1
    @YeshiZulu1 Před 2 lety +71

    I believe her first and unforgivable sin was to be her father’s favorite child. Often times that puts a girl child in the path of a narcissistic mother’s anger. This is triggering in so many ways and it’s often spoken in hushed tones in African families. Thank you for sharing your story

    • @revzippyelikanahhbstminist4609
      @revzippyelikanahhbstminist4609 Před 2 lety +4

      That favorite child thing could have caused all those issues with her mom. However l know there are quarrelsome moms. Some are under abuse from their husbands too and do not know how to deal with it. Any one around they put their emotions on them. Yes l hear her father was beating her. I feel bad that she ended up being abused but the underlying issues is her father. It is ashame to hear a daughter come publically to call her mom a name. She was abused in the first place and did not know how to deal with it. Alot of mothers do this. Such a spoilt child by dad is also gas lighted against her mom.

    • @augustacookeygam5579
      @augustacookeygam5579 Před 2 lety +4

      You nailed it on the head. Once my dad died, my mom stopped fighting me. I realized she saw me as a competition when he was alive and had to fight from a young age until I was about 35 years old.

    • @YeshiZulu1
      @YeshiZulu1 Před 2 lety +2

      @@augustacookeygam5579 Yes that’s the extent of toxicity that is far too common than we dare acknowledge. I’m desperately sorry for the passing of your father. May he experience the joy of the Seventh Heaven

    • @augustacookeygam5579
      @augustacookeygam5579 Před 2 lety

      @@YeshiZulu1 thanks 🙏🏼

  • @katejessica2481
    @katejessica2481 Před 2 lety +74

    When you’re a parent you must watch your mouth all the time anything you say or do may build or destroy your child for life.

  • @peter_ik
    @peter_ik Před 2 lety +98

    i always say family should not be the reason you have a bad life. walk away from them and find happiness

  • @stephkirathe
    @stephkirathe Před 2 lety +89

    I know what she is going through, I spent years trying to understand my family. I was my fathers favorite, but I lived in constant fear of my mother, her harsh words still ring in my ears even as a 30 year old woman. I became very good at putting up a face, I've been a workaholic & insomnia thanks to my upbringing. Sometimes when I think of sleep I would hear her say "you're lazy", "art will take you nowhere", "you're a failure"... I was an invisible child in a well-to-do dysfunctional home. Having narcissists is hard to explain but all you have in a story. I hated being gaslighted, belittled & slander... But there is power standing for yourself. I thank God, I'm in the process of healing.

    • @SK-wb3dz
      @SK-wb3dz Před 2 lety +9

      i am so sorry. My life is almost exactly as yours and Anne's. I compensate my stress with work and it is totally not the answer.

    • @sarah-luize
      @sarah-luize Před 2 lety +5

      This is my story.. I remember also wishing for God not to give me girls.. I've suffered the same

    • @anntheuri4253
      @anntheuri4253 Před 2 lety +2

      I am going through the same thing...how are you healing help me

    • @stephkirathe
      @stephkirathe Před 2 lety +4

      @@anntheuri4253 You can gray rock or go no-contact. I used gray rocking to cope with the manipulation.There is alot of content on Gray rockin, but never confuse it with being emotionally withdrawn.
      I wouldn't advice no-contact. That one is when it gets worce. But sometimes it helped me gain time away from the fear & negativity. To Focused on the things I loved to do.
      Always find supportive people. Surrounding yourself with a community of people who will build you up. Like trusted friends who know what you are going through. Not everyone will understand but at least they will not blame you or hold it against you.
      Family is never about blood. Family is love, supporting one another and helping each other. Parental responsibility should never be held against you.
      It takes time.

    • @anntheuri4253
      @anntheuri4253 Před 2 lety +1

      @@stephkirathe thank you so much ❤

  • @esthercheptoo6558
    @esthercheptoo6558 Před 2 lety +64

    Thank you for sharing this story, which is also mine. We have been socialised to think of mothers as the more nurturing parents so it's difficult for most people to believe that toxic mothers exist. Which makes it hard for emotionally abused women to get help. And they probably end up projecting their hurt to their daughters. I'm glad Anne has spared her girls this pain

  • @homesteadingwiththeangafam2158

    As a daughter who was brought up by a narcissistic mother,I feel moved to compassion hearing such stories. By God's grace we are nolonger victims but Victors and overcomers.

  • @KilifiKing
    @KilifiKing Před 2 lety +15

    I have a similar Mum & Dad. One is a Covert & other a Malignant Narcissist - the worst type of parents a child can wish for & going no contact is the only resolution once you get out & be labeled a scapegoat

  • @vaatinyamai9888
    @vaatinyamai9888 Před 2 lety +43

    The way I hold grudges!! How she survived to the extent of wanting to gift her mum shouts of her as an angel. Be blessed Anne

    • @starsfelly6975
      @starsfelly6975 Před 2 lety +4

      Ikr? Even me am not sure I would have thought of building her a house. This lady is just an angel 😇

    • @vaatinyamai9888
      @vaatinyamai9888 Před 2 lety +3

      @@starsfelly6975 Me too, but see God teaching us forgiveness. It takes grace.

  • @puritybilali3499
    @puritybilali3499 Před 2 lety +11

    I don't know where to start but I have gone through exactly what she has talked about. I don't have a relationship with my mom. To date I believe she hates me for the things she made me go through. She used to say that I made her life miserable. There is a time I tried asking her why she made me go through that and all she does is to play victim and shift on blames. I have never gone back home since 2012. I am married with two children . My husband's people have tried reaching out to her but she just doesn't want anything to do with my marriage and children at times she calls and says I got married without her permission. She is Toxic, narcissist and always playing vitim, always pointing fingers at me to say m the mother of her problems. Calling my mother in law to say I am an evil daughter. Everytime I think about my mother I feel bitter. I am trying to come to terms with it. I haven't healed . I am also trying to be a different mother to my children. Ann I don't know how you do it. But I need to heal. To heal from the childhood traumas I had. To heal from my mother hating me for no apparent reason. I am not even comfartable talking to people about my mum .I hope one day I will be at a better space and accept things the way they are.

  • @bettyclare7834
    @bettyclare7834 Před 2 lety +46

    She is well spoken. I love the end, " The World loves you .Know you are worthy."

  • @everythingnice7977
    @everythingnice7977 Před 2 lety +20

    Toxic and Narcissist mothers are spoken of in hushed tones lest we are considered disrespectful.
    If we shared we would be surprised by the statistics. . .

    • @cgitahi
      @cgitahi Před 2 lety +3

      Even just from the comments here ,it's clear that alot of people have suffered the same.

  • @thespot2035
    @thespot2035 Před 2 lety +43

    Africa will be prosperous society when we drop beliefs such as 1.A woman being a mother means everything
    2.A mother means they are sweet, caring and loving
    3.Just because a woman has children doesn't make her a saint or better than others
    4.Motherhood,as beautiful as it is,must be encouraged as a matter of choice not gender!
    5.Parents ARE NOT ANGELS,THEY ARE GROWN CHILDREN!
    6.Stating the limitations of parents doesn't negate their value in any way,alot of times simply speaking is healthy and healing!

    • @lovely777nitzachon2
      @lovely777nitzachon2 Před 2 lety +2

      THE BOOK IS WRITTEN THAT every so called a child to her parents MUST honour the parents. Ephesians 6: 1-3:
      Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.A)" style="font-size: 0.625em; line-height: normal; position: relative; vertical-align: text-top; top: auto;">(A) 2 “Honor your father and mother”-which is the first commandment with a promise- 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”a]" style="font-size: 0.625em; line-height: normal; position: relative; vertical-align: text-top; top: auto;">[a]B)" style="font-size: 0.625em; line-height: normal; position: relative; vertical-align: text-top; top: auto;">(B)
      OUTSIDE THE WORD OF GOD, Its all Rebellious acts, people waste their time mocking their parents BUT there is a PRIZE to them that think they birthed themselves. AGAIN THE BOOK Says that Rebellion is worse than Socellery/ Witchcraft and this is the solution for all those who Strip their parents Naked publicly. ...No-one is Mightier than GOD

  • @lydiaobonyo3662
    @lydiaobonyo3662 Před 2 lety +24

    "Family can be toxic." Learnt that this year.

    • @imzulu635
      @imzulu635 Před 2 lety +1

      The sad reality is that not all mothers wanted to have children, and not all mothers love their children. Some of us were born by mistake.

  • @r2d239
    @r2d239 Před 2 lety +21

    Fact is most women who lived/married in the 70s-90s were very miserable women, who felt like they had no choice in life.

    • @mavismensah271
      @mavismensah271 Před 2 lety +2

      You are right. I think most of them had their own ambitions in life but they thought the african society pressured them into marriage and kids. The thing is, most of them didn't have the courage to say no and go after their own destiny. Some of them also decided to sacrifice themselves for their families, especially the ones who were born in the village with 12-14 siblings. They have disdain for the young women of today because we have the courage to say no to what they couldn't do

    • @latoyasmith8237
      @latoyasmith8237 Před 2 lety

      Word!

  • @Ms.Nina_official
    @Ms.Nina_official Před 2 lety +71

    Now this is somehow my Mum's story... My grandmother is one toxic manupilative narcissist who has a hold on my mum. She tried to get me into her manipulative tactics but I stopped her and she tried to turn my mum, uncles and auntie against me. Unfortunately she has broken up my mum and her brothers. My mum at some point was knowingly or unknowingly spreading that toxicity to me but I stopped her. I wrote a 5page letter opening up to her(that was in July 2021) before that, she had disowned me for some time(story for another day) which had forced me to live with my grandmother, that's when I got to see my granny's true colors and got to understand her level of narcissm. After I wrote the letter, I went back home and now my mum and I have a smooth relationship. Unfortunately my mum isn't able to breakaway from her toxic mother😞

    • @immachep
      @immachep Před 2 lety +8

      I can totally relate.. Generational Trauma

    • @nancywanja4868
      @nancywanja4868 Před 2 lety +2

      Same Whatsapp earth is hard

    • @wambui-njagi4681
      @wambui-njagi4681 Před 2 lety +2

      Where is your father in all this? He may be a factor in making your grandmother relate to your mum this way. Your father should have taken your mum and her children into his custody.

    • @imahighvaluewoman4424
      @imahighvaluewoman4424 Před 2 lety +5

      My mums last words were toka uende and if possible walk out of my life. That’s how I was kicked out of home. She’s now looking for me and I’m praying God to help me forgive her. I was as well tired of the abuse and insults

    • @utamakurautamakura7435
      @utamakurautamakura7435 Před 2 lety +3

      It seems to travel down generations. And daughters learned to always protect their mothers, and the cycle repeats itself. May it now end.

  • @joanm4873
    @joanm4873 Před 2 lety +48

    I'm happy this story was aired...people think family cannot be toxic and yet they can be. As much as humans are deceitful....a toxic family member, especially a mum is sad. I'm glad too she did not cry after remembering all these. God bless you mama.

  • @melbamothiba9804
    @melbamothiba9804 Před 2 lety +130

    Thank you Anne for sharing your story.Im a South Africa going through almost something similar and people have been telling me it's strange, but you sharing this just made me feel I'm not alone

    • @rkim3928
      @rkim3928 Před 2 lety +15

      You’re not alone. I’m almost 45, and after many years of allowing myself to be manipulated (since it’s what good daughters do!?), I drew my line in the sand. I pray my next 45 will be full of joy and laughter! 🤗

    • @MsDavali
      @MsDavali Před 2 lety +6

      You are not alone. People just choose not to talk about it and suffer throughout their lives. There’s nothing as toxic as a narcissist parent especially if it’s a mother.

    • @rosemayan7929
      @rosemayan7929 Před 2 lety +9

      I believe many African mothers are narcissistic and our culture makes it even worse.

    • @gentrixkhatenje8907
      @gentrixkhatenje8907 Před 2 lety +4

      Going through the same 😭😭

    • @fionanakarioko2616
      @fionanakarioko2616 Před 2 lety +2

      I have been through the Same

  • @ceciliakarimi9423
    @ceciliakarimi9423 Před 2 lety +38

    I have a male friend going through this even in his late 40s. He is abused daily and the mother telling him hurtful things like how she regrets giving birth to him, he's useless etc. The man is 47, unmarried and no kids. Thinking that these might have contributed to his life situation

    • @gracenjogu8958
      @gracenjogu8958 Před 2 lety +1

      Wah 47 unmarried pole sana kwake

    • @GeekyGumbots
      @GeekyGumbots Před 2 lety +1

      Woiye

    • @blessingmwangi2564
      @blessingmwangi2564 Před 2 lety +8

      I was told my dead Elder brother is more useful than me....I should have died instead of him, more than a decade ago but I still remember that amongst other things mum said to me. The trauma I went through growing up I would never wish to relive those days, I don't even know how I coped but I would never relive those days. I grew up knowing am unwanted and this has been such a battle to live with. Thank God I am where I am now.

    • @gracenjogu8958
      @gracenjogu8958 Před 2 lety +1

      @@blessingmwangi2564 woiye pole sana dear

    • @sifaelnanono9077
      @sifaelnanono9077 Před 2 lety +4

      @@blessingmwangi2564 oh dear pole. No child should experience this especially from a parent. It builds a spirit of reject that you carry with you all your life. Let's do better for our children

  • @nyawirakirori2116
    @nyawirakirori2116 Před 2 lety +17

    Narcissistic parents especially mothers exist but the few with good mother's think the ones saying it are ungrateful.she gave birth to you to nurture you and love you no-one ever asked to be born to who or when they were born.

  • @charlottekapiira8629
    @charlottekapiira8629 Před 2 lety +26

    This talk was very educative and a wake up call to us single parents, at times we transfer our pains to our innocent children... I also don't have a good relationship with my mom because she does not seem to approve of me being as good as other daughters of hers and when my marriage failed, it made it worse. I am a born again Christian and have tried all the time to be close to her but she is always negative, criticizes what ever I say, whatever I dress, so whenever am going to see her I dress like a villager, just to be comfortable around her...mine is not so bad to your level but it's not good still... It's true, it's real a parent can become toxic and manipulative. Thank God you have overcome and out to help others. Be blessed.

  • @yozareason1803
    @yozareason1803 Před 2 lety +11

    I know what she's talking about, I'm now 33 years old and even afraid to have my own children because I'm afraid I might hurt them the way I was hurt by my mother, my father left her when she was pregnant, she'd beat me up and take off my hair like she's fighting and I wasn't fighting, when I started working she felt like I should give her money and do everything for her until I stopped answering her calls for a year coz she was forcing me to support my younger sister and still so ungrateful say hurtful things. But my past really doesn't define me.

    • @angelmary_MimiTime
      @angelmary_MimiTime Před 2 lety +3

      OMG me tooooo , am learning boundaries at my late 20’s bt it hs bin worthit though the manipulation is still there

  • @joygitau8596
    @joygitau8596 Před 2 lety +24

    I think she's telling my story😩😩😩😩 my mother and I don't talk at all 😩😩I would rather tell a stranger my pain than tell my mom

    • @beatriceakinyi5320
      @beatriceakinyi5320 Před 2 lety

      Same here

    • @janetnyaboke7637
      @janetnyaboke7637 Před 2 lety

      Tuko wengi hadi siblings

    • @cynthiaodera8207
      @cynthiaodera8207 Před 2 lety +2

      Same here , she and my dad are strangers to me. Talk about toxic parents

    • @hlengiwemasondo2858
      @hlengiwemasondo2858 Před 2 lety

      Me too,

    • @kipusa5117
      @kipusa5117 Před 2 lety

      This resonates so well.Toxic mothers are cruel, they thrive on seeing their daughters suffer and will allevate their sons at all costs Mine was jealous of my achievements and lacked empathy towards me!
      In as much we are called to forgive, these people never change! So the only way to thrive,was to cut off from all toxicity!

  • @lenism2058
    @lenism2058 Před 2 lety +13

    Living with a narcissist dad is even more worse coz he wants to control ur life even as a grown up,insults are the order of the day like nothing good comes from u but wen he wants money or stuck somewhere he feels entitled that u MUST sort his problem out.its very stressful so I feel her pain.

  • @adhiambofm4475
    @adhiambofm4475 Před 2 lety +14

    The reason why she refused that you don’t go to boarding is because she scapegoated her and narcissist thrive in your tears

  • @NicoleKimwele
    @NicoleKimwele Před 2 lety +34

    One thing I love about this channel is that Lynn Ngugi & everyone of the interviewees thus far are firmly rooted in God. It’s a wonderful thing to watch.

  • @kobbimbimu9943
    @kobbimbimu9943 Před 2 lety +23

    If you choose to bring a life in to the world, it is your responsibility to give that child your best regardless of what you are going through. You are not doing the child a favour. It is their right .

    • @mazaocc8065
      @mazaocc8065 Před 2 lety +2

      Dont let the majority of kenyans hear you. We apparently are supposed to worship the ground our parents walk on🤫

    • @avivkinyanjui437
      @avivkinyanjui437 Před 2 lety

      Very very true.

  • @princessmilkah
    @princessmilkah Před 2 lety +20

    hi Lynn i am a silent follower, but this story for Anne has made me break the silence. So Many people are being brought up or have experienced narcissistic parenting. Anne thank you for uplifting many that one can break from such and make a good life out of the ashes and shackles of a narcissistic parenthood. God bless you

  • @dashb9053
    @dashb9053 Před 2 lety +51

    It's okay for us to admit mothers at times compete with their daughters, whether it's their fathers love, beauty etc and project all that onto their daughters, it would explain all the jealousy and the strained relationships and how they treat their daughters poorly(love hate relationship) yet adore their sons. It would also explain the mother-in-law dynamic, same same root causes...

  • @bethakinyi2890
    @bethakinyi2890 Před 2 lety +15

    My sister just shared with me this link on WhatsApp and I just laughed remembering how both us relate to this story todate. I keep praying for my mum to find healing.

    • @imzulu635
      @imzulu635 Před 2 lety +1

      Lucky you you're free now. I'm still in hell with this evil woman. Everyday I pray for my breakthrough. 🙏🏽

  • @blessingmwangi2564
    @blessingmwangi2564 Před 2 lety +6

    Boarding school was the best part of life. Kumbe tuko Wengi who found peace in a boarding school.

  • @aquablue3880
    @aquablue3880 Před 2 lety +27

    I can bet those brothers were waiting for Anne to transfer the Title Deed to their mother then after she dies they claim the land as theirs in never ending court battles.

  • @damewambuiofficial3276
    @damewambuiofficial3276 Před 2 lety +43

    I believe there are quite a number of us(children of 70s era born town) that went through the same challenges with your mothers. As for me, I was lucky because my grandmother saved and protected from my mother, otherwise things could have turned out very bad. RIP Cucu... ..I miss you so much.🙏🙏

    • @phillipsidhojapap1461
      @phillipsidhojapap1461 Před 2 lety +2

      Yeah.. I guess the 70s were a chaotic time for families. Your shush was a wise woman and managed to take charge of a difficult situation.

    • @terrykuikimani
      @terrykuikimani Před 2 lety +6

      Include 80's ,till to date I can't talk about my trauma, i pray that one day I'll fully heal

    • @terryray3147
      @terryray3147 Před 2 lety +4

      Never waste time trying to please a narc. Accept that this is a sick person and there's no medicine for Narcissism. They are devils.You sound healed and happy. All the best in your beautiful life ❤ 💕

    • @r2d239
      @r2d239 Před 2 lety +3

      Most of these women were very miserable. They didn't feel free in life

    • @MS-yu5cl
      @MS-yu5cl Před 2 lety +4

      Even us early 80’s kids tulikipata pata. It is a trauma that follows you the rest of your adult life.

  • @doreenmarita3855
    @doreenmarita3855 Před 2 lety +12

    I thought am all alone 😭😭😭😭 ,I believe something bigger is coming on my way,thanks Lynn Ngugi for motivating me,I still love her despite all

  • @cynthiaKaninu
    @cynthiaKaninu Před 2 lety +66

    I totally relate......I completely isolated myself from my shosh as she was a complete narcissist.......the moment I left home I didn't have the energy to go back and face all the emotional trauma I faced growing up.

  • @mariamsheisright3031
    @mariamsheisright3031 Před 2 lety +30

    😭😭😭😭 the story of many. We have all in some ways been conditioned to be self defensive due to childhood trauma. Thanks for sharing dear 🙏🙏🥰. Love u Lynn

  • @yourcelebrityin30seconds
    @yourcelebrityin30seconds Před 2 lety +9

    This has been my situation for the longest time and i have no idea how to navigate through it. This year has been the worst and really taking a toil on me, weighed myself recently and realized I've lost 14kgs in two months. Cant find a job when i really want to move but I'm trusting on God.
    Haya ni mapito tu. Thanks for sharing Anne. I'm hopeful

  • @risperkariuki1459
    @risperkariuki1459 Před 2 lety +24

    This is amazing. Sad as it is it finally great to know that I'm not in my head. Always thought I'm the only one who has experienced this kind of treatment from a parent.

  • @lillymuchena4347
    @lillymuchena4347 Před 2 lety +28

    You have done well Shiku, bitterness kills people.. Your choice of being better waa excellent. keep winning gal👏

  • @rahabwachira5979
    @rahabwachira5979 Před 2 lety +11

    Seems we're so many people suffering childhood trauma and toxic parents it's a shame to even tell people that your own mum rebukes when things are not going well with you and you wonder where to run to...I pray that everyone who's going through this may you find peace and healing 🥺

  • @pollynjonge2087
    @pollynjonge2087 Před 2 lety +18

    My wounds have refused to heal. I hope that one day I'll get over it. Thanks for this Lynn.

  • @josephinenm7932
    @josephinenm7932 Před 2 lety +10

    The brothers and Mum are jealous of how how life went. God had you. Your mum wished you ill and wanted you to have a miserable life like hers and your heart was pure.. God was guiding you all the way. God always judges the intentions of the heart and you were innocent. He had to defend you. I am very moved by your story and your spirit. Thank you for sharing. Sending you peace and light❤
    And Lynne Thank you so very much for bringing us this story. Happy birthday to your mum and Director. Bless❤

  • @mumbuamumbua293
    @mumbuamumbua293 Před 2 lety +13

    Am watching this and and am literally 😭😭 bcoz am seeing my life in her.. got married whn I was 18yrs just to be away from my mum...some parents will never see heaven

    • @gracenzuki1298
      @gracenzuki1298 Před 2 lety +1

      @mumbua it's the saddest feeling indeed but one has no choice though we come out strong

  • @abitu47
    @abitu47 Před 2 lety +31

    Anne Njugi! From my experience, please keep your children and Husband away from your Mother! Mine came between me and my husband and even attempted brainwashing my children into hating me . Even after forgiving her evil.

    • @judysaina8426
      @judysaina8426 Před 2 lety +1

      Very good advice

    • @lindagithaiga1974
      @lindagithaiga1974 Před 2 lety +1

      Wah that's crazy!Your own children is crossing the line.She can take the husband but my kids never!

  • @nivorodinceatieno5462
    @nivorodinceatieno5462 Před 2 lety +16

    Talking about how our parents treat us is a very sensitive matter cz many will make you feel ungrateful even though many of us out here have the same story...!Kudos😍😍

    • @mmbanacho7950
      @mmbanacho7950 Před 2 lety

      We need to be greatful parents too go through alot. Children at times miss this because they tend to look negative part of a mother, I believe your mother who brought you to the world, just respect them love them. Parents have to be parents. I love my parents despite them being harshest of all.

  • @curved4health666
    @curved4health666 Před 2 lety +6

    I'm a American woman and I'm only 28. I went through everything she has mentioned.

  • @maryannmwauravlogs9970
    @maryannmwauravlogs9970 Před 2 lety +40

    And why do people say when you grow up with rejection you might end up being rejected in everything like the spirit will follow you .... but hear this story it's different 🥰

    • @susanmwende11
      @susanmwende11 Před 2 lety +17

      The results of this trauma make you feel less and can't even make or Maintain good relationship, the also make you adapt to poor treatments and bcz you are used to it.
      You also become an attention seeker and a people pleaser to get a place to belong

    • @ritakhamis7531
      @ritakhamis7531 Před 2 lety +12

      You are right. But I think she made the choice to reject the spirit. We have been given the power to reject the negative spirits that may follow us as a result of past experiences with parents or others.

    • @esthermaina9172
      @esthermaina9172 Před 2 lety +3

      So so very sad that what her mum went through with the father

    • @ireneatenya7418
      @ireneatenya7418 Před 2 lety +6

      for what l believe there's no spirit of rejection,rejection comes when you reject yourself and feel less

    • @kadzo6614
      @kadzo6614 Před 2 lety

      How is her marriage?

  • @chimpromise
    @chimpromise Před 2 lety +14

    Listening to her speak reminds me of my old days, OMG my Aunt🙌🥺thank God for his faithfulness, I came out strong.

  • @kaypach6687
    @kaypach6687 Před 2 lety +15

    I love all your stories Lynn, but if there is one that I feel 100% relating to, is this one. I feel so happy for her achievements in life, God has been faithful.
    Bring more of toxic parent issues, we suffer in the name of not exposing them or being disrespectful, but let's call a spade a spade not a big spoon.

  • @terrywarui482
    @terrywarui482 Před 2 lety +22

    I love how self aware she is

  • @bethwacuka3773
    @bethwacuka3773 Před 2 lety +6

    Until now nimejua tuko wengi I wont worry but I will choose better n a better and best mummy to my kid now I know why I have bitterness sometimes

  • @marthawaithiranduru2712
    @marthawaithiranduru2712 Před 2 lety +13

    I can relate to this as well ... ,😭😭😭. You never heal you choose to distance yourself

  • @margaretwanjiru9785
    @margaretwanjiru9785 Před 2 lety +22

    Thank you for sharing this story, I can truly relate, I always wondered why my own mum always accused me of everything, one statement I remember is her saying she wishes she could swallow me and go back to where I came from and like you I was terrified of baby girls and I have 2, yes and when I was getting married she told me that I have made my own bed of tears, but I choose to be better. God bless you for this, I feel encouraged!!!

    • @margaretwambui9709
      @margaretwambui9709 Před 2 lety +1

      Mine would tell on the face she wished we were dead.Reason?She had just gotten herself a new boyfriend and we were bothering her we didn't have food.She would cook and eat at her boyfriend as we spent lonely nights hungry in our late grandma's house.

  • @lynetouma3796
    @lynetouma3796 Před 2 lety +6

    It's like your mom and my mom were twins.. exactly my story though not married yet am even afraid she might reject him when it's time .. I always find myself even telling my friends when my time comes I want to be "mama boys" I have the fear of giving birth to a daughter.... telling my mind she doesn't exist has worked for me..vowed to go home to her like a visitor. Having a narcissist mom is such a life time trouma ... heri ikue ata an aunt it's understandable but God is and have been faithful 💯✌️

  • @Kasweetie_254
    @Kasweetie_254 Před 2 lety +21

    Anne ,despite all the betrayals n loss ,God was in control🙏🙏💯❤ you're a warrior! His grace is sufficient.

  • @irenenduku5490
    @irenenduku5490 Před 2 lety +44

    For me is how she got school fees scholarships and nice jobs. Gods favor indeed. May God remember me too to get such scholarships

  • @elizabethkiriba4300
    @elizabethkiriba4300 Před 2 lety +4

    If the family you chose before your birth no longer supports your path towards fulfilling your true destiny, it is never too late to find a new tribe

  • @sammyndekeindekei6581
    @sammyndekeindekei6581 Před 2 lety +10

    (;I chose to be Better not Bitter) Bitterness is a cancer!!! I've learned This from Shiku. Thank you Lyn for bringing her here. She's a living testimony

  • @LynnNgugi
    @LynnNgugi  Před 2 lety +71

    What message do you have for Anne?
    To share your story, kindly send a well detailed brief to lynnngugi4@gmail.com or lynnngugishow@gmail.com
    Thank you so much for watching🙏

    • @amoitlaureen3878
      @amoitlaureen3878 Před 2 lety +14

      She is narrating my story woooiiiii!!!! DETACH!!! CUT OFF!!!! HEAL!!!! STRIVE!!!! GOD IS ON THE THRONE!!!!

    • @margaretwangui1703
      @margaretwangui1703 Před 2 lety

      She is so amazing ❤️God bless you more thank you for sharing your story Anna

    • @catherinewambui4595
      @catherinewambui4595 Před 2 lety +2

      Lynn l went through hell in September this year and had to leave home.my mother beat me up with my elder sister twice.A brother beat me up twice in the presence of my mother!!!!!!😭😭😭

    • @catherinewambui4595
      @catherinewambui4595 Před 2 lety +7

      Please Lynn invite me to give my testimony.Family bullying is real.please check your email.l have been trying to reach you 🙏🏽

    • @gracemutugi2870
      @gracemutugi2870 Před 2 lety +1

      My dad is exactly the same as she narrates, especially some of us who are not well financially, my dad would choose his nieces and nephews over his own blood. Tunaendanga huko but hawezi hata salamu 😢

  • @lucykimani7098
    @lucykimani7098 Před 2 lety +11

    I'm really glad for this story, my cousins wife shared with me due to the things my mother made me go through, in almost 30 now n I'm always afraid to have a baby girl with the fear of not giving her the love she deserves since i don't know how to. This has really helped me and i can't thank you enough.

  • @hildaogutu6972
    @hildaogutu6972 Před 2 lety +12

    Lynn the message is fundamental. Definately plenty of lessons learnt. Parents need to hear Anne's story to bring to their awareness what damage they cause to their children and likewise to themselves. Keep it up Lynn. I love your shows. I will be contacting Anne Njugi.

  • @bashlyn4545
    @bashlyn4545 Před 2 lety +11

    Anne, really sorry for what you went through. Glad you are healing.
    And from the comments here, you coming out has helped so many people come forth and briefly in-here talk about their experiences too. Society has a mindset that all mothers are protective and loving so that if a mother and a daughter have a scuffle, it must be the daughter on the wrong, how sad. May everyone who has gone through a similar situation find healing.

  • @Kasweetie_254
    @Kasweetie_254 Před 2 lety +18

    Msijifanye hamjaona her childhood pics ,luku iliweza 😍😍😍 kwanza hio denim 💯💯🔥🔥#coolkidsmanenos

  • @cosmaskibarangwa8277
    @cosmaskibarangwa8277 Před 2 lety +11

    One thing that we don not talk about is our toxic parents. When we do, we make jokes out of it; and it is not healthy at all. We need to to stop normalizing abuse from any quarters, not even from family.

    • @quinnchee3309
      @quinnchee3309 Před 2 lety +3

      This is extremely important. We normalize abuse from parents and label it discipline. Sometimes we even thank the abusive parents for the “discipline” because, as the narrative goes, we are successful today because of that discipline (abuse). This is so wrong. 😑

    • @betty541
      @betty541 Před 2 lety +3

      What I find even worse is we are not supposed to talk about it openly because it is 'disrespectful' and that if we do we will be denied blessings.

    • @MS-yu5cl
      @MS-yu5cl Před 2 lety +2

      And yet this abuse and trauma follows is for the rest of our lives. I thought by leaving the country, I would leave my trauma at the airport. Wapiii, 20 years down and the trauma is still fresh and alive😓

  • @Nicky411
    @Nicky411 Před 2 lety +61

    This was a very helpful episode. You'd be surprised to know how many mothers and daughters are estranged from one another due to a similar home life to Anne's.

    • @betty541
      @betty541 Před 2 lety +10

      Just from the comments alone it looks like an epidemic!

    • @faithkimathi4068
      @faithkimathi4068 Před 2 lety +2

      @@betty541 I am also shocked by the comments Betty!

    • @patriciamunyoki2598
      @patriciamunyoki2598 Před 2 lety +3

      Really my daughter is my everything in this world,i love and stand for her

    • @SKamau-nw7fk
      @SKamau-nw7fk Před 2 lety +1

      @@betty541 wooooi it is