What is Emotional Intelligence?

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  • čas přidán 21. 08. 2017
  • Many of humanity’s greatest problems stem not from a shortfall of technical or financial intelligence, but what we term emotional intelligence. It is through the acquisition of Emotional Intelligence that we stand to become better lovers, workers, friends and citizens. We are rarely systematically taught Emotional Intelligence and pay a heavy price for this gap in learning.
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Komentáře • 1,7K

  • @theschooloflifetv
    @theschooloflifetv  Před 6 lety +1371

    The conversation here has taken a fascinating turn (fascinating for us at least): we see a lot of comments that want to suggest that emotional intelligence does not exist/has been made up/is not a thing. We assume that what people mean by this is that science, especially neuroscience, cannot clearly identify a separate part of the mind that can be referred to as Emotional Intelligence. This is perhaps very true. But it somewhat bypasses our point. We're not looking for scientific validation, we're simply pointing out certain emotional faculties which can be more or less developed in people - and can be fostered by a good surrounding culture. We're surprised too at the line of argument that suggests that the idea of Emotional Intelligence was invented by 'stupid' people to make themselves feel better about not having achieved anything. This seems unnecessarily harsh - because achievement comes in many forms and the ability to understand human nature is as valid a pursuit as the ability to (for example) play basketball or cook well.

    • @grandsome1
      @grandsome1 Před 6 lety +27

      I guess "emotional resilience" and "rational empathy" would've been more palatable terms for some.

    • @TheSodiumazide
      @TheSodiumazide Před 6 lety +30

      The School of Life no it's not that neuroscience can't identify a part of the brain that's associated with this in fact we can identify the part of the brain the Nero endocrine system that is associated with it and we can measure it it's just not in intelligence quotient it's extraversion and agreeableness which are well documented traits with no connection to intelligence. In fact if you're careful in your psychometrics you can define concepts that don't exist and then test to see if they do exist emotional intelligence fails this test when it is defined and then compared versus other existing traits basically it's a kludge and a phantasm. Emotional intelligence was made up by people who are uncomfortable with the concept of intelligence which we have discovered is a unitary phenomenon there are no subsets of intelligence there is one G defines everything and anything that we would conventionally consider intelligence there are things that you can be good with that aren't intelligence but I'm sorry just because somebody likes being around people and is personable doesn't mean they're smart. If you allow this definition you might as well say my ability to lift weights is because of my muscle intelligence.
      EQ is a fad
      FYI the rest of the traits associated with EQ are basically emotional stability a trait thats measurable and noticable in children as young as 1 day old and obviously is mostly genetic.

    • @bolivar1789
      @bolivar1789 Před 6 lety +64

      Thanks a lot for the explanation! I wanted to add an example: I studied at a well known conservatory in Germany and there we had professors who were extremely successful in their fields. World famous violin players, pianists, opera singers etc. etc. But despite all their great achievements, there were many who seemed to have very little emotional intelligence. I was very lucky to have wonderful teachers and I am very grateful for that. But I have heard horrible stories from many friends, who had been regularly humiliated and discouraged by their professors. And here is the most interesting part:
      Those professors have made their amazing careers by " expressing emotions" through music. And since they were so great at bringing those feelings across , you would assume that they would KNOW how to deal with them and how to recognize them in themselves and in others. But it wasn't the case!
      So I don't understand the point of friends who claim that " emotional intelligence" doesn't exists. You may call it differently. But you can't deny the fact that we need a name for that thing, that many people who seem to have it all ( status, power, fame, money) still do not possess.

    • @Artechiza
      @Artechiza Před 6 lety +9

      Grandsome You can call it many different ways, but that doesn't make the concept vanish away from existence 🌪

    • @Artechiza
      @Artechiza Před 6 lety +25

      Bennett Williamson The problem is that the development of your muscle's strength has more to do with physical exercises rather than quality of your mind. Emotional intelligence is an umbrella concept for those traits you mentioned just as linguistic intelligence is an umbrella concept for writing, speech and reading comprehension skills. There are indeed various kinds of intelligence, as it's possible that a brilliant lawyer doesn't understand anything about logarithms just as a brilliant doctor may not have a clue of what Tolstoy was trying to say with Ana Karenina. By these standards, it can be said that your analogy is somewhat flawed.

  • @Vishal-yl2lx
    @Vishal-yl2lx Před 6 lety +2028

    In a nutshell, EI is the ability to understand behaviours of others and controlling own emotions.

    • @5roundsrapid263
      @5roundsrapid263 Před 6 lety +84

      Vishal Trehan exactly. Even if you control your emotions, others might not. You have to anticipate theirs. Your spouse, your boss, etc.

    • @pennymac16
      @pennymac16 Před 6 lety +20

      How does one control their emotions exactly?

    • @Tupemo
      @Tupemo Před 6 lety +101

      Pay attention to your emotions, see what causes them to arise, and listen what they tell you to do. Also, learn to not judge your emotions or yourself for feeling them. Every emotion has a meaning. You can also overwrite some emotions by coming up with another perspective for the issue. Talking with someone about a problem that causes an emotion like sadness can help you find a new perspective.

    • @sirshinra
      @sirshinra Před 6 lety +38

      Being self-aware of yourself is one thing. I do something where I listen to what people say, but ask... Why are they saying this? I do this to myself (too much) but understand why I say things, the reason behind why we do/say things. Most of the time it can be arrogance, being scared, wanting to stand out, this that this that etc... But once you know these things, you can get rid of things that effect your emotions in a certain way. Understanding why people say things can lead to knowing if people are deceiving or talking pure bullcrap. It could also mean you can see if someone is hiding something and needs help.

    • @Tupemo
      @Tupemo Před 6 lety +14

      Ooh I think I have probably almost never asked somebody why they're saying something. That might be a little too personal for some but also honesty makes us all grow. It's also a scary thought. I might do that one day.

  • @jewels985
    @jewels985 Před 6 lety +948

    I was once called intelligent. That made me emotional.

  • @btm96
    @btm96 Před 6 lety +571

    I never knew how to put it to words until now. My whole life, I've never been "book smart." I'm rather unintelligent in most areas, and I'm very self conscious about it. Like I could never understand politics, history, and mathematics to the extent that most people around me could. BUT, I've always been very introspective and able to understand and interpret emotions that other people, around me at least, have struggled to grasp. I've been fortunate enough to help a lot of people in my life because of my high "emotional intelligence", or whatever you wanna call it.

    • @triptisingh1431
      @triptisingh1431 Před 5 lety +30

      You know you could be a therapist right?

    • @bobsmith6042
      @bobsmith6042 Před 5 lety +20

      you're lucky. it's your talent. For me it was the other way around. But I would like to believe that I became more emotionally intelligent with time. Because I know I definitely was not when I was younger.

    • @cryingwater
      @cryingwater Před 4 lety +19

      Politics should be a piece of cake to you. You can interpret intentions more easier than others do. I as another emotionally intelligent person do take my word that people with high EI can see through plots and controversy like a view through glass

    • @elianazewdie9812
      @elianazewdie9812 Před 4 lety +2

      @@cryingwater summes me up

    • @CrayonsYummyYummy
      @CrayonsYummyYummy Před 4 lety +4

      Wow same. Always thought i was a bit off but that makes sense.

  • @LittleMissDeeDee
    @LittleMissDeeDee Před 6 lety +1079

    I'd like to think my level of emotional intelligence is quite high, and in result of that, I'm rarely ever mad at someone, nor do I hate anyone, because I understand that hurt people usually hurt people. That's not to justify destructive behaviour or bullying, but to understand that these are people who need help, not punishment. I genuinely believe people with this mindset are a lot happier and a lot less resentful than others that thrive off of hate. A friend of mine said studying psychology has completely changed how she reacts to people and their behaviours because of her in depth understanding of the human mind and emotions.

    • @alexksksepko1524
      @alexksksepko1524 Před 5 lety +33

      But then, does that make you naive?

    • @dr195391
      @dr195391 Před 5 lety +1

      D.c. ofx

    • @MXRiderFiftyTwo
      @MXRiderFiftyTwo Před 5 lety +8

      You nailed it.I would say that I too have a high emotional intelligence.

    • @elvinames648
      @elvinames648 Před 5 lety +1

      naturallybronzed xo 🙂

    • @SufficientDaikon
      @SufficientDaikon Před 4 lety +5

      I think it's a great thing thinking like that I wouldn't want to think any other way

  • @AuthenticSelfGrowth
    @AuthenticSelfGrowth Před 4 lety +300

    Emotional Intelligence is the secret key to your dream life

    • @c.d.m.3821
      @c.d.m.3821 Před 3 lety +2

      I was thinking the same thing

    • @junaidhussain4781
      @junaidhussain4781 Před 3 lety

      Hi can anyone give me example of emotional intelligence they may get before work, i need help.

    • @hijodelaisla275
      @hijodelaisla275 Před 3 lety

      Shhh... don't tell anyone.

    • @essenceofgod2473
      @essenceofgod2473 Před 3 lety +1

      Can you explain it further

    • @killerinstinct6820
      @killerinstinct6820 Před 2 lety +9

      Yes. But that makes you lonely too because you can't connect with people with the same level of intelligence you have. We know them more than they know themselves

  • @edaphic4515
    @edaphic4515 Před 6 lety +174

    Emotional intelligence is simply another name for maturity, wisdom, and empathy. It is so important to be able to control and understand your own emotions as well as understanding other's emotions. I don't care what you call it, it's more important than we realise because consciously and subconsciously -- whether we'd like to admit it or not --
    we're to a large extent ruled by our emotions and conditioning and recognising and understanding this is the key to living a fulfilling life and having fulfilling relationships with others -- oh, and to prevent us from acting upon these things and doing stupid things.

    • @marlonsmith7342
      @marlonsmith7342 Před 2 lety +1

      💯👍🏾

    • @demar8888
      @demar8888 Před rokem +2

      So there's 2 types of people ? Ones that have Emotional Inteligence? And Ones that dont

    • @posvibesonly3378
      @posvibesonly3378 Před rokem +4

      @@demar8888 no everyone has it but for some it's low and for some it's high as it states it's learned and not acquired at birth..EI is very subjective from person to person as we differ in our thoughts and behaviors while taking to different kind of people..we may respond differently to a teacher than how we respond to a colleague

    • @JosephSmitsGoldenplatesimhalla
      @JosephSmitsGoldenplatesimhalla Před 7 měsíci

      In a nutshell everyone has their own definition of it, cant be accurately measure, and there is a high correlation between being high in extroversion and agreeableness and being called high in EQ.
      EQ boils down to personality traits an introverted would never be called high in EQ. Or maybe he will based on the thousand different definitions of EQ

  • @davidalarcon7095
    @davidalarcon7095 Před 6 lety +26

    Emotional intelligence is not the manipulation and supression of emotions, rathermore it's the understanding of one self to know how your emotions work and use it in a constructive way.

  • @Rationalist101
    @Rationalist101 Před 4 lety +75

    I honestly think that emotional intelligence is the ability to handle situations that are intense and emotional. Basically like situations where there's a disagreement between two people, and instead of one of the people trying to start a fight, they decide to work things out verbally.

  • @vaNickers
    @vaNickers Před 6 lety +304

    Emotional Intelligence is not to be mistaken as having simply to do with emotions and working with emotions. This intelligence is the capacity to integrate our experiences, and to gain thus a more complete picture of life in every moment. It requires awareness, attention, discipline and freedom to respond to the requirements of the present and not simply following the patterns acquired in the past.

    • @veraannrachellemarieomerah7714
      @veraannrachellemarieomerah7714 Před 5 lety +1

      Sometimes all o need is the air that I breath and to love her, my wife ok f 25 years she is emotionally and spirtal awake, she's awesome, love her to the Earth and back we are on the Moon Earth the light at the end of the tunnel heavenly earth

    • @lockerroomtalkmusic4149
      @lockerroomtalkmusic4149 Před 4 lety

      Vanessa Pareja I like this!

    • @junaidhussain4781
      @junaidhussain4781 Před 3 lety

      Hi can anyone give me example of emotional intelligence they may get before work, i need help.

    • @wearecastaway1
      @wearecastaway1 Před 2 lety

      @@veraannrachellemarieomerah7714 fricking bot!!

    • @misunderstoodkj
      @misunderstoodkj Před rokem

      Spot on

  • @davidscott129
    @davidscott129 Před 6 lety +23

    Emotional intelligence is subject to widespread denial because our culture idolizes the tough guys, and empathy is seen as weakness. We are so fond of grouping ourselves into "our people" versus "the others" that we can't open ourselves to other people's feelings and cultures, for fear that we would lose our justification for feeling superior to them.

  • @theaxisofinsight
    @theaxisofinsight Před 6 lety +28

    Unlike IQ which can never be taught and is usually consistent, EI can be taught and improved so this film assures us. Thank you TSOL, you've been an inspiration to us!

  • @Mr___KK
    @Mr___KK Před 2 lety +19

    My mother is doing a doctoral at Oxford Brookes Univerisity. I'm proud of her as she is the only one in our family who is doing it.

    • @beirangiaphiapi452
      @beirangiaphiapi452 Před rokem

      Congratulations to you and your family

    • @Mr___KK
      @Mr___KK Před rokem

      @@beirangiaphiapi452 Thank you. God bless.

  • @spikedwish
    @spikedwish Před 6 lety +34

    I feel that I have high emotional intelligence. I lost my dad at 15, and geeze there's a long list of regrets already at that age. I learned to keep the regret list short and not jump to conclusions about angry, sad, or even happy people. We are all together in this life as human beings, so why not work as a team to help those in need.

    • @junaidhussain4781
      @junaidhussain4781 Před 3 lety +1

      Hi can anyone give me example of emotional intelligence they may get before work, i need help.

    • @natediaz1863
      @natediaz1863 Před 3 lety

      You don't. Because it's not a real thing and I'm sure you're a very shallow person.

  • @adnanilyas6368
    @adnanilyas6368 Před 6 lety +79

    For me, emotional intelligence is the ability to be relentlessly kind to other people. You don't have to always understand other people in order to be patient and compassionate.

    • @nahzewilliams5912
      @nahzewilliams5912 Před 2 lety +1

      4 years later,can you possibly give me an example or 2 to what you mean here in regards to being kind all the time

    • @worstone5926
      @worstone5926 Před 2 lety +2

      @@nahzewilliams5912 being kind means , don't give a fuck to anyone anytime
      So u don't get a reply from him too

    • @amoldivo
      @amoldivo Před 2 lety

      @@nahzewilliams5912 being understanding and considerate...

    • @ahhwe-any7434
      @ahhwe-any7434 Před 2 lety

      You didn't even watch half of this

    • @drrd4127
      @drrd4127 Před 9 měsíci

      You are confusing empathy and compassion with Emotional Intelligence.

  • @ritadoumit3817
    @ritadoumit3817 Před 6 lety +29

    This channel has honestly helped me acquire emotional intelligence. It helped me sympayhise with other people, and have better relationships with people, since I can now interpret the real, hidden meaning behind their actions. I am forever thankful to you, The School of Life, for changing my perception in certain areas in my life, and therefore helping me lead a better, more peaceful life where I am at ease with myself and others.

  • @gabz5522
    @gabz5522 Před 5 lety +5

    Being able to label this and read more about it is amazing. Makes me feel less alone.

  • @wanderer1179
    @wanderer1179 Před 6 lety +239

    Anyone can become angry, that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way... this is not easy.
    -Aristotle, the Nicomachean Ethics

    • @esteemity5405
      @esteemity5405 Před 3 lety

      Word

    • @junaidhussain4781
      @junaidhussain4781 Před 3 lety

      Hi can anyone give me example of emotional intelligence they may get before work, i need help.

    • @esteemity5405
      @esteemity5405 Před 3 lety

      @@junaidhussain4781 what's the issue you're experiencing?

    • @junaidhussain4781
      @junaidhussain4781 Před 3 lety +1

      @@esteemity5405 Can it be covid time experience issue like not able to communicate with varies of people through live video as it is difficult, what else example there could be

    • @esteemity5405
      @esteemity5405 Před 3 lety

      @@junaidhussain4781 are you saying that you are unable to get a video connection, or that once you are connected via video, you're having trouble communicating?

  • @christianjones6124
    @christianjones6124 Před 6 lety +2

    The school of life has been instrumental in my personal growth over this summer vacation. I discovered this channel at the end of the school year, and was mesmerized by how well the concepts presented understand me. I took the very few things I'd learned in only to videos and pondered them for the following weeks until the summer came. in that time I'd come to understand why my past relationships had failed, why I felt so much emotional turmoil, and why I'd never find fulfillment with the choices I was making with my relationships. I delved in further in to your channels videos and began to realize that they basically were outlining all the things I'd been just on the cusp of learning on my own, yet so much clearer than my own pondering could have shown me. now I watch every new video like it's my religion, because I seek to understand myself and others more deeply. This video on emotional intelligence, just outlined the most important thing I gained this summer. I'd Never put a name to it but I'd been taking the opportunity to introspect myself and my emotions, attempt to understand what the actions and outburst of my coworkers and classmates my really be showing, and most of all, teaching this sort of emotional intelligence and patience, to others in my life. I've grown from an insecure teenager, confident young man who understands some people better than they understand themselves, and wants to teach them to themselves.

  • @PsychoVenom777
    @PsychoVenom777 Před 6 lety +197

    I don't understand why people are saying "emotional intelligence doesn't exist". Intelligence means to be highly knowledge in a certain area, but who's to say you can only be intelligent on facts or mathematics. You can easily be more susceptible and sympathetic when it comes to people's feelings and frankly this type of intelligence is underated.

    • @manuelsputnik
      @manuelsputnik Před 6 lety +1

      +Jake Dog
      Little boy, please learn how to spell. And always be nice, you'll be satisfied when other people embrace your kindness.

    • @shamansprout7324
      @shamansprout7324 Před 4 lety +2

      It’s kinda just a CZcams comment u know don’t gotta get all petty English teacher up in here lol XD

    • @user-fz3ip3ke8p
      @user-fz3ip3ke8p Před 4 lety +1

      Im kardashian intelligent

    • @salt1360
      @salt1360 Před 4 lety +6

      actually knowledge and intelligence , intelligence is more of proble sovling ability , knowledge is memory based .

    • @saph8496
      @saph8496 Před 4 lety +1

      @I don’t exist For tax and insurance purposes 1.
      Intelligence;
      the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills.

  • @howtohealyourhurts2183
    @howtohealyourhurts2183 Před 2 lety +6

    Emotional intelligence is extremely important, glad to see more people taking in this knowledge for self reflection. Just wait till more people understand how release their trapped emotions so that they can truly empower themselves to a better life!

  • @imene6940
    @imene6940 Před 2 lety +9

    I wish emotionel education will soon be tought at schools , teens nowdays are kind of lost in a big circle of mixed emotions and toxic relationships , feel like it would help a lot

  • @jMM5660
    @jMM5660 Před 6 lety +8

    I just want to say thank you to the School Of Life and all its contributors for bringing us all these great videos. It is truly an amazing content. I have subscribed to a quite a lot of CZcams channels but this is the one I enjoy the most. By a long a way. Thank you so much.

  • @AvyScottandFlower
    @AvyScottandFlower Před 6 lety +30

    There is another kind of education needed in society. No doubt about that.
    More than one in fact, if you ask me.

    • @junaidhussain4781
      @junaidhussain4781 Před 3 lety

      Hi can anyone give me example of emotional intelligence they may get before work, i need help.

  • @misscecelips
    @misscecelips Před 5 lety +21

    Emotional intelligence teaches you to take responsibility for your feelings. Also that offense is taken and not given. You decide what hurts you just like you decide what makes you feel good. Emotional intelligence helps you to become more conscious of this. Instead of reacting impulsively. Then blaming others for your reactions to your own emotions.

  • @g.maximus8056
    @g.maximus8056 Před 6 lety +5

    Emotional=an expression or reaction to feelings, feelings being abstract to the past and present.
    Intelligence=deciphering the appropriateness of the circumstances.

  • @SaltySparrow
    @SaltySparrow Před 6 lety +9

    Everyone needs to watch this video. People really fail to even try to understand others, or simply to put themselves in other people's shoes. I try and integrate emotional intelligence into my training I give at work.

    • @junaidhussain4781
      @junaidhussain4781 Před 3 lety

      Hi can anyone give me example of emotional intelligence they may get before work, i need help.

    • @Shaddyraddy92
      @Shaddyraddy92 Před 3 lety

      @@junaidhussain4781 Listen more. Talk less.

  • @MariaMartinez-ts4vq
    @MariaMartinez-ts4vq Před 6 lety +1

    I'm a Primary School Teacher who is really interested in this subject and Mindfulness. Long ago, I realized how kids are supposed to learn contents but are not able to deal with their emotions.
    In a trip to Thailand, after starting Yoga and Meditation, I found out how disconnected I was to myself and the world, mainly because no one taught me how to handle my emotions. Now I wanna know myself better, be the best copy of myself and find that balance.
    Thanks for the amazing video-S.

  • @brookscooper4774
    @brookscooper4774 Před 4 lety +16

    Emotional intelligence is the highest level of intelligence. It literally can’t be measured. What are “street smarts” in layman terms ? It’s a natural understanding of ones around us. You understand timing , movement, tone of voice, eye movement, the structure of words along with facial expressions that are easily read . We can adapt to any situation and always are aware of our surroundings. You’re in complete control if you have a high E I. It’s very powerful and is a blessing and a curse. Inspiration or manipulation is a choice most with high emotional intelligent have to choose and its hard to understand and even control this type of intelligence.

  • @esteemity5405
    @esteemity5405 Před 3 lety +4

    Technical proficiency paired with emotional immaturity is a dangerous combination. You're very wise to point this out.

  • @titilayosaraheguridu4839
    @titilayosaraheguridu4839 Před 2 lety +2

    This is the most articulate and detailed video on Emotional Intelligence I have ever seen.
    Thank you for sharing

  • @digiverse7686
    @digiverse7686 Před 3 lety +5

    Amazing video, thank you so much for making and uploading this. I have recognized that my EI is not at the level that I would like it to be, and I'm now actively trying to improve it, by (1)watching how I react to situations brought on by triggers in my life,(2)becoming more motivated and (3)trying to become more socially inclined... Wish me luck!🙏🏼

  • @Masquerola
    @Masquerola Před 6 lety +303

    Shouldn't we all just value emotional health more?

    • @CoolJanus331
      @CoolJanus331 Před 6 lety +20

      when one truly understands all aspects to emotional intelligence, they would attain infallible emotional health

    • @CoolJanus331
      @CoolJanus331 Před 6 lety +3

      if one truly understand why somebody beats themselves down and what thoughts that are going through their mind step by step, they realize one of two things: it is important, it is useless. Then, they would decide from then if they want to boost their confidence or tell themselves they need to improve.

    • @MeJustinRichard
      @MeJustinRichard Před 6 lety

      yes

    • @yokumato
      @yokumato Před 6 lety +2

      Indeed, and it should be taught at an early age (as the video states). How many conflicts could be avoided by a better understanding of people's feeling and emotions? As a reference just looks at the parenting Stalin, Hitler or Gorbachev had, the differences are interesting.

    • @LIVdaBrand
      @LIVdaBrand Před 6 lety

      greed...that's why

  • @natasasavic3572
    @natasasavic3572 Před 6 lety +6

    Thank you so much for making this video :)) I love all of your videos, but this one helped me share what I was talking about for years now, with my friends and familiy. I think this is a thing that we really need to master. I am happy to have friends whit whom I can talk about it a lot, and we can then grow together. I hope this will be a "normal" thing to teach in schools in the future... actually, a lot of videos that you made are helping people getting better at EI. Thank you so much, and keep up a good work ❤
    Sending love from Serbia

  • @helenee.5462
    @helenee.5462 Před 2 lety +11

    I heard someone say that emotional intelligence is our bridge to true connection with other people. Such a shame to miss out on that.

  • @stephaniecuellar3192
    @stephaniecuellar3192 Před 6 lety +34

    Emotional intelligence to me simply means l am aware of my own emotions and how they modivate my actions. Indeed introspection is a big part if it. l don't think it is my place to judge how others feel as l can never know exactly what has lead them to feel as they do, nor to judge what feelings they may be masking.
    However, l can with the awareness of thier feelings, be a bit more tolerant of them, especially while the fire of extremity still burns. After the coals have cooled a bit, then is the time to try educate them if l feel they have missed elements which require reexamination.
    Don't try to argue with an emotionally heated person as you will inevitably druve them futher into their emotionally charged position, and clamp closed their mind to other points of view.

    • @LivebecauseYOLO
      @LivebecauseYOLO Před 4 lety +2

      Wow you really broke it down may I ask have you gotten to this point in your life where you can do these things?

    • @junaidhussain4781
      @junaidhussain4781 Před 3 lety +1

      Hi can anyone give me example of emotional intelligence they may get before work, i need help.

    • @Shaddyraddy92
      @Shaddyraddy92 Před 3 lety +2

      When it comes to dealing with difficult people, just give em an ear. Listening is a important tool.

    • @ahhwe-any7434
      @ahhwe-any7434 Před 2 lety

      You seem emotionally intelligent to me and I only read like the first 2 1/2 sentences haha

  • @cryingwater
    @cryingwater Před 4 lety +16

    WTF I didn't know I am emotionally intelligent. I can see through lies, I can judge *real* emotions, I can see through poker faces with the slightest of body language. Like what, I've had this just by reading books. I think it's because in novels, emotions are explained in greater detail that my brain learned how to implement it in reality.

    • @evitaylor
      @evitaylor Před 3 lety

      I can do that too. When I meet someone and talk to him a little, I understand many things about him and if he is really good enough for me.

  • @sukhrajnagra6782
    @sukhrajnagra6782 Před 4 lety +3

    WOW... Well put together School of Life. I appreciate everything you do. I am addicted to your videos. Growing up fatherless and caring for a schizophrenic brother as a child I made all my decisions based on the way I felt during the moment which led to many unfavourable decisions. However, by now working on my behaviours and attitudes your videos are a blast of relief and a well of education. Keep up the good work.

  • @Mercifulflamez
    @Mercifulflamez Před 6 lety +9

    Emotional intelligence is real it's what helps you in being happy and dealing with others and understanding them and what to do in certain situations involving others emotions and your it seems pretty simple why is everyone saying it doesn't exist?

    • @coachmanos1687
      @coachmanos1687 Před 4 lety +1

      @Ethan Steel Why do you say that. What @Mercifulflamez is writting is where the eq can lead you.

  • @agilemapoe3052
    @agilemapoe3052 Před 6 lety +11

    Thanks. For helping me express exactly how i feel!

  • @radiantguy
    @radiantguy Před 4 lety +4

    A doctor recently told me that I have High E.I.
    At the time I never heard of the term before, thank you for sharing and of course the Arabic CC

  • @shininglightjoi6627
    @shininglightjoi6627 Před 5 lety +9

    I take a spiritual view on this matter. I've had an innate awareness since I was a child so as I've got older my analytical mind and awareness tunes into behaviours naturally which is why I am always aware of genuine souls but equally not genuine souls who exist on a different level. I can spot them a mile.
    I'm polite but keep my distance always and never go any further to encourage any connection which doesn't connect with my soul too. If I venture out of this protection I soon weed myself away for good . I don't find it difficult to do that!

  • @edaphic4515
    @edaphic4515 Před 6 lety +2

    Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! I'm so glad this is being spoken about, emotional intelligence is so, so important!!!

  • @Jenkkimie
    @Jenkkimie Před 6 lety +46

    As a therapist myself, my recommendation would be to start by asking these simple questions: Why do they behave the way they do? Say the things they do? Think the way they do?
    If you spend enough time pondering these questions, something is revealed to you. You realize that most of human behavior is informed by the sum total of our Self so far, that is our experiences, our memories, our personality, our wants and needs, our social life, our career, our environment. The person that we are today is the person we've become. Then take the time to ask yourself what kind of experiences someone might've had to be the person they are, you begin your journey as emotionally intelligent person.

    • @SamirWasi
      @SamirWasi Před 2 lety +2

      Thank you!

    • @sushih3302
      @sushih3302 Před 2 lety +2

      Thanks. As someone with Low EQ, I do want to improve and I hope this manages to help me :)
      Appreciate the tip

  • @cocozhang3589
    @cocozhang3589 Před 6 lety +8

    I particularly agree with culture having a big influence on EI. One example is the Norwegian teen drama SKAM, I'd never seen a group of more well-adjusted teenagers than is depicted in the show, & I dare say any young people who watch & love the show can be guided to be more communicative, accepting, giving, and compassionate.

  • @ICONIQPsychology
    @ICONIQPsychology Před 4 lety +3

    Such an important topic!! Should definitely be a part of the education system! 🙏🙏

  • @whoasked6147
    @whoasked6147 Před rokem +2

    I love this video. So straight to the point. Not like the other video from another channel where he say lots of unnecessary stuff and even told a story... nah

  • @Jackal
    @Jackal Před 6 lety +702

    It might as well be renamed extraterrestrial intelligence because of how foreign it must sound to some people lol

    • @vaishnavigupta9111
      @vaishnavigupta9111 Před 6 lety +7

      Jackal Unleashed which is both surprising and sad

    • @fandoms5ever
      @fandoms5ever Před 6 lety +1

      Jackal Unleashed savage xD

    • @ThisIsMyFullName
      @ThisIsMyFullName Před 6 lety +14

      Andhika Suroto It's ironic how often the comment section of 'The School of Life' becomes a testament of whatever the video was trying to teach. People are already judging the video to be wrong, before they've even watched it half way through..

    • @luckyowl10
      @luckyowl10 Před 6 lety +1

      lol, this comment has a good amount of Emotional Intelligence in it :)

    • @rockingsj1997
      @rockingsj1997 Před 6 lety +1

      why are you on every channel I follow? or maybe it's just me

  • @malavikaganesh9970
    @malavikaganesh9970 Před 4 lety +3

    Have you made a video on emotional stability? Or one on inner turmoil? If not please do! You guys are love!

  • @xXSoulripperOo
    @xXSoulripperOo Před 6 lety +24

    tbh i really feel this on a spiritual level lmao. I was never a very logical person or a very technical one, but where i shine most is the field of emotional inteligence. Tbh i really think it should be appreciated more because an individual with this trait can really help in shaping a very friendly environment and making team members or co workers bound deeper without all these things being too obvious, by using the small things that can awaken some ideas in the subconscious.

  • @kmdglobe5402
    @kmdglobe5402 Před rokem +1

    The school of life is a spirit blanket.

  • @Fendora
    @Fendora Před 6 lety +14

    please make videos on examples of how people should handle situations based on emotional intelligence. I don't think people are really "taught" to properly deal with stressful or emotional situations , and most either get violent, or completely isolate themselves when they face a difficult situation. How can we identify when we are emotionally ignorant if society won't even listen past 3 seconds in a conversation? I feel like people who take the high road in situations although they look like they got punked out, are actually the ones that have the last laugh due to their emotional intelligence. We need to develop better emotional skills to cope with life because all I see is a spike in mental illnesses.

  • @Godwin5575
    @Godwin5575 Před 6 lety +35

    Hands down, one of the best videos School of Life has ever made.

  • @allanfreeman9977
    @allanfreeman9977 Před 3 lety +4

    Emotional intelligence is the realisation that on a primal level everyone wants to be esteemed and valued. Love is the core desire. But due to human preferences and biases people tend to suffer rejection and neglect often.
    With that in mind, your goal is to therefore show people out there that you have esteem and great respect for them even in their less graceful moments.
    This will mean watching your words, body movement and eye contact when interacting with other people. Everyone is insecure about their intrinsic value and therefore your respect will come as a wonderful surprise that will often stir them up to show respect to others they meet.
    This makes your heart a spring of life-giving water to a very love-thirsty populace. People will get attracted to you like bees to nectar or moths to a flame. The warmth you emit will make others naturally seek your company. You find you become a natural leader by default. This is bad for those who tend to like their solitude and alone time. The introverted. But that is a comment for a different video.

    • @Shaddyraddy92
      @Shaddyraddy92 Před 3 lety

      Profound message. That's why we have two ears and one mouth, people just want to be understood. As for those who endure solitude, that's what they do. It's neither nor positive. That's where they get their energy from.

    • @CoachK10190
      @CoachK10190 Před 2 lety

      Perfectly worded. You get it.

  • @vikram9852
    @vikram9852 Před 3 lety +1

    This has taught me so much! Thank you for the wonderful video.

  • @frederikrokamp
    @frederikrokamp Před 6 lety +2

    He's right, we seriously lack emotional education

  • @MrMellek
    @MrMellek Před 6 lety +157

    Empathy is not the same as emotional intelligence. One could have much empathy and still be a "bad" person. Empathy is the ability to understand another person's condition from their perspective. This does not inherently mean that this will be used towards "good" purpose.

    • @paulliu8502
      @paulliu8502 Před 6 lety +37

      nobody ever said that emotional intelligence can only be used towards a 'good' purpose either

    • @respberry123
      @respberry123 Před 6 lety +11

      MrMellek Empathy is about sharing and feeling someone's emotion. Understanding the reason behind one's emotion is s totally different thing.
      You can feel for your friend who's lost her pet dog, yet not understand why she got mad and shouted at you the other day.

    • @BigHenFor
      @BigHenFor Před 6 lety +3

      MrMellek EI is multi-dimensional and empathy is only one component. That's why it's a life long process to acquire it. It can't be formally taught. You have to learn from experiences.

    • @potallegta
      @potallegta Před 6 lety +5

      Any kinds of intelligence can always be misused towards bad purpose, this doesn't mean that we shouldn't value any forms of intelligence that can help us as a species.

    • @joyfulsavage9905
      @joyfulsavage9905 Před 6 lety +1

      Good nuance thank you. Recently met someone who has extremely empathic due to extensive life experience but was actually very emotionally unstable and lacking in intelligence to deal with his own problems. I was a little bit confused at first but this helps narrow it down and make sense.

  • @ep332
    @ep332 Před 5 lety +3

    Super great video, my problem is that I AM emotionally intelligent, so I KNOW how I'm feeling and what I need, but people around me assume I'm like everyone else and DON'T know, so they interpret what I say through the same filter that we need to use with most people, but then we have severe miscommunication because when they won't accept my words at face value, they get stuck on continually misinterpreting what I'm saying because it doesn't fit the model lol

  • @AvacadoChan
    @AvacadoChan Před 6 lety +1

    This is beautifully put and amazingly insightful.

  • @StopLookandListenwithSamantha

    Great content! So well done from the information provided to the illustrations and sound bites. Lots of great points.

  • @manuvincent9793
    @manuvincent9793 Před rokem +5

    Let me guess... You got an assignment

  • @Milestonemonger
    @Milestonemonger Před 4 lety +38

    Note to self:
    First impulses are inaccurate.

    • @mbostwick89
      @mbostwick89 Před 4 lety

      my impulse here is to agree with you

    • @salt1360
      @salt1360 Před 4 lety +2

      nope , if u have a good EQ , first impulses are always good reactions. (if not best)

    • @mbostwick89
      @mbostwick89 Před 4 lety +5

      Lol if you have good eq, you do your best to avoid over generalizations that may be offensive

    • @junaidhussain4781
      @junaidhussain4781 Před 3 lety

      Hi can anyone give me example of emotional intelligence they may get before work, i need help.

  • @kingdomlife4409
    @kingdomlife4409 Před měsícem

    This is great, I have known almost 80% these ideas said here, but I never knew these are the building blocks for emotional intelligence. Thank you so much Sir.

  • @maddscientist3170
    @maddscientist3170 Před 6 lety

    Thanks for the video .This is something that should be required in school as a course.

  • @Cadmus9501
    @Cadmus9501 Před 6 lety +5

    Emotional intelligence doesn't exist, however being empathetic and aware of how we feel including the feelings of others is real. The majority of people unfortunately choose to ignore how their actions affect the people around them and those suffer the consequences for better or worse.

    • @ahhwe-any7434
      @ahhwe-any7434 Před 2 lety

      Right. Then it prob means, they're emotionally ... stupid?!

    • @CodyCLI
      @CodyCLI Před rokem

      I think "intelligence" as a concept is a highly contentious issue, IQ tests while useful in certain situations, it is not an overall indicator of intelligence. I agree with everything else you said though. I do think EI is a type of skill that can be improved upon, so I think it is a type of intelligence.

  • @big30o6
    @big30o6 Před 6 lety +60

    Emotional intelligence will become more important as the quest and understanding human consciousness becomes the for front of scientific discovery. The advent of Ai will shift peoples focus (hopefully) from meaningless consumption to understanding and experiences.

    • @asonofliberty3662
      @asonofliberty3662 Před 6 lety

      big30o6 they said this isn't a scientific clan or video

    • @tubertz
      @tubertz Před 6 lety +2

      thats whats called philosophy :P

    • @respberry123
      @respberry123 Před 6 lety +4

      Spooky Skeleton Those are some serious arguments you've brought on the table. I don't know how anyone's gonna prove them wrong.

    • @BigHenFor
      @BigHenFor Před 6 lety +2

      big30o6 No, I don't think so. AI poses a lot of questions but yields few answers for understanding the messy, organic nature of the lived the lived experience. It doesn't explain the differential differences between individuals, and assumes that human are a blank slate. We're not, and AI doesn't explain instinctual behaviour very well either.

    • @sirshinra
      @sirshinra Před 6 lety +2

      I'm pretty sure that your consciousness told you that.

  • @z0uLess
    @z0uLess Před 4 lety

    So true, spoken from experience of several failed relationships in the rush to establish a family before its to late.

  • @sarahs5112
    @sarahs5112 Před 6 lety +2

    Whats great about emotional intelligent is to understand why people act like they do but it doesnt mean i have to accept their bad behaviors it can simply be a lesson for me to don't act the way they did when i'm in the same situation.

  • @broken_abi6973
    @broken_abi6973 Před 3 lety +13

    1:43 - I hear a Witch. Everybody, lights off.

    • @junaidhussain4781
      @junaidhussain4781 Před 3 lety

      Hi can anyone give me example of emotional intelligence they may get before work, i need help.

    • @namanlal918
      @namanlal918 Před 3 lety +1

      I KNEW I WASNT THE ONLY ONE WHO HEARD THAT :P

  • @Meteaura22
    @Meteaura22 Před 6 lety +8

    Emotional Intelligence does exist. There's been extensive information about it, ranging from books to videos like this on CZcams. EI is about understanding the initial emotional afflictions that affect you during a given situation. How you handle that situation from your reactions determines your EI.

    • @junaidhussain4781
      @junaidhussain4781 Před 3 lety

      Hi can anyone give me example of emotional intelligence they may get before work, i need help.

  • @ToyBoxBunnies
    @ToyBoxBunnies Před 3 lety

    Really needed to hear this. Thank you school of life for your informative videos.

  • @youracherrynut442
    @youracherrynut442 Před 3 lety +1

    Not always easy to define and understand because it has various elements, but the way I understand what emotional intelligence means is my ability to deal well with other people in my personal and professional life.

  • @metroreality6157
    @metroreality6157 Před 2 lety +55

    Im only here because I forgot to do my chores bruh, my mom made me watch this and write a whole paper about EI💀

  • @oliviabourque4653
    @oliviabourque4653 Před 6 lety +11

    Everytime I hear "emotional intelligence" I think of Taylor from the batchelor 😂

  • @leanacopperfield2563
    @leanacopperfield2563 Před 6 lety

    There is so much I'm thankful for today. Thanks for this video.

  • @theemotionalintelligence3171

    Simple words to understand yet very powerful knowledge about human emotions. Thank you for the video

  • @thejamesthird
    @thejamesthird Před 6 lety +8

    I think that there are many different intelligences, I'm not very academic and couldn't write a good essay. I do however speak multiple languages, and can build a sturdy set of shelves out of a pile of wood without a plan. I've never met a puzzle I've not been able to solve, and I solve them incredibly quickly.
    I think some people have a better 'practical intelligence' vs a 'theorising intelligence.'

  • @jdbrrocks
    @jdbrrocks Před 6 lety +3

    3:20 guy with two pairs of glasses , in other news emotional inteligence should be given more importance nowadays that both parents working is becoming more common and the kids arent being constantly corrected on how to manage their emotions

  • @AyushAgrawalFollowHeart

    I liked very much that you told that it needs to be inculcated in the culture. Thanks for compiling this video!

  • @davyjones8199
    @davyjones8199 Před 2 lety +2

    I want to mention a book that I recently read about emotional intelligence. It's called AN EXTRAORDINARY APPROACH TO EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. I didn't know that much about EQ.

  • @kyleg.5597
    @kyleg.5597 Před 4 lety +6

    1:43 They really used the witch's cry from Left 4 Dead and no one even noticed

    • @junaidhussain4781
      @junaidhussain4781 Před 3 lety

      Hi can anyone give me example of emotional intelligence they may get before work, i need help.

    • @brandononzo
      @brandononzo Před 2 lety

      Thank You. I was looking for this.

  • @C12H22O11HIGH
    @C12H22O11HIGH Před 6 lety +3

    For all the people claiming that EI is made up to make people feel better about having a low I.Q., I'd like you to know that a high I.Q. and high EI often go hand in hand. It's not like you just have to have one or the other. Some people have both, neither, or only one but it is typical for them to coincide. High EI is a product of being cultured and educated. It's difficult to understand other people if you don't have a grasp on your own surroundings and the basic workings of the world. It's the ability to combine empathy with reasoning and logic, not just being a bleeding heart. If you still think it's garbage and that I'm stupid for trying to defend it, maybe you should spend some time being introspective if your first impulse was to quash others before they thought they had something to be proud of?

  • @milesalton4174
    @milesalton4174 Před 5 lety

    Your voice puts me to sleep like not even in a bad way If I can’t sleep I just bang on one of your videos and i feel calmed

  • @shambhaviyamgar6811
    @shambhaviyamgar6811 Před 5 lety +2

    You guys have no idea what a great content you are producing. Let's change the world together.

  • @evelic
    @evelic Před 6 lety +8

    1:43 left for dead witch?

  • @42ndsubject49
    @42ndsubject49 Před 6 lety +42

    I'm so emotionally intelligent that it made me a pessimist...

  • @waynewiddowson2692
    @waynewiddowson2692 Před 4 lety +1

    Nicely put together. Thanks.

  • @angelligomez
    @angelligomez Před rokem

    This is so good! Thank you so much!

  • @GPuup115
    @GPuup115 Před 6 lety +5

    1:45 WITCH!LIGHTS OUT

  • @randomanimes2206
    @randomanimes2206 Před 5 lety +5

    I've always wanna talk about emotional intelligence but my parents are too busy, my classmates are not interested.
    Edit: 😔

  • @b-m9480
    @b-m9480 Před 6 lety +2

    *"The Turning Point" by Fritjof Capra, a physicist whom through his scientific knowledge and from the wisdom of eastern philosophers tries to put into perspective where we are heading as a civilization with topics ranging from ecology to medicene, science, psychology and economics. He somehow accurately predicts the times we live in today and tries to explain how our society is obsessed with rationality through science & technology, we forget the Yang to our Yin. We focus too much on technical intelligence, that we are ill equipped to hone our emotional intelligence; nature.*

  • @rehamadomay7899
    @rehamadomay7899 Před 2 lety

    I'm not speaking English but I'm learning it and I do my best to understand your videos, thankfully I got your points and important message. ❤️💚

  • @thegossipswan009
    @thegossipswan009 Před 6 lety +11

    The world would be a better place if everyone is emotionally intelligent.

  • @YamiAi
    @YamiAi Před 6 lety +3

    Isn't this just Agreeableness from the OCEAN personality model? I remember hearing a psychologist (believe it was Jordan Peterson) stating that if you account for IQ and the five factor model there are no other types of intelligences left that can not simply be attributed as either one of those other or an interaction between them.

  • @rowanvanzyl426
    @rowanvanzyl426 Před 6 lety +1

    If you want the world to be a better place with peace and love do these things "love your neighbor as you love yourself" or "treat people as you would want to be treated"

  • @lawrence18uk
    @lawrence18uk Před 6 lety +2

    I'd like to add that emotional intelligence doesn't come without a penalty - it takes energy to empathise, which is why I suspect many don't do it as much as they are capable. Earlier in my life I felt it (empathy) as a burden - or even as an unwanted intrusion into somenody else's life. That was largely reflecting my own feeling that it would have been an unwanted intrusion into mine. But when it came to it, it wasn't unwelcome at all!

  • @jefferyholliday8163
    @jefferyholliday8163 Před 6 lety +6

    I call this emotional fortitude XD

  • @CRFSUIGENERIS
    @CRFSUIGENERIS Před 6 lety +16

    Achievements and mastery are healthy and critical, but simply "doing" and not knowing or understanding, or even cultivating the immaterial parts of us that fend off depression, loneliness and the pain of a competitive world is a dangerous imbalance.
    It's cliche; but when you master your mind and emotions, the world and others are less threatening. We relate better. We feel more connected. I think it's what we were made to do to be happy. It's easier said than done, because our culture has perverted and wrongfully concluded "emotional health" or "emotional aptitude" as that for the weak to focus on. A soft skill they say... Culture now tells the "strong" to carry on and bulldoze through life like a bad*ss to earn status and accumulate pleasures at any cost. If you are human, (we all are despite our perceived differences- even the worst of us) you know and have felt through painful experience these things aren't enough.
    As I get older, I noticed devices get faster, ordering whatever your heart desires online gets easier, but we basically suck at being happy or at peace more than ever. Our human and relational needs are getting sh*t on and dismissed. It's readily mocked. I'm guilty of it too. We feel even more dead inside and not "seen" even though our faces are broadcasted smiling to all our friends on social media sites.
    I get it. I, too, see the word "emotion" and especially "emotional intelligence" and think poppycock. Lazy thinking-feeling-cumbaya-weirdos who don't do the dirty work of navigating the world with their hands and sheer grit. Be the best at a skill, be productive, and be uber smart, and the universe will reward you. It doesn't work that way. It doesn't feel enough. Attention to the extreme takes away from our (dare I say) spiritual needs.
    I like this video. It reminds me to stay balanced. As The Little Prince Book says: "It is only with the heart that one sees rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye." Sorry for the long comment. I'm just tired of feeling like I'm not really becoming the best version of human being through life's mixed messages. Most of all, it breaks my heart to see others I care about do the same...

    • @lzvezdev3402
      @lzvezdev3402 Před 4 lety +1

      God that was beautiful. I hope the past two years have been good on yoi

    • @CRFSUIGENERIS
      @CRFSUIGENERIS Před 4 lety +1

      lzvezdev Aww. Thanks. I’d like to think I’ve wised up and that leads to more insights of happiness. I appreciate that generous compliment. I sincerely hope all is well with you, internet friend!

    • @CRFSUIGENERIS
      @CRFSUIGENERIS Před 4 lety

      Jim Twesh It’s my pleasure. I’m just grateful anyone bothers reading it. Thank you for the kind compliment. Please keep growing and take care of yourself :)

  • @NaliniAnjana
    @NaliniAnjana Před 2 lety

    This channel is saving my life. Thank you so much 🙏

  • @DepressionTalks1
    @DepressionTalks1 Před 3 lety +1

    This is now my life mission to teach