What It's Like To Date In 2024
Vložit
- čas přidán 27. 02. 2024
- Yvette's Retreat: yvettehenry.com/unplugged-ret...
We’ve launched our E-Course, The Premarital Advantage!! View it here: howmarriedareyoupodcast.com/p...
The Website: howmarriedareyoupodcast.com/
The Email list: howmarriedareyoupodcast.com/j...
Contact Us: hello@howmarriedareyoupodcast.com
Leave Us a Voicemail: +1 727-619-4629
Leave a Review: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
Every week we share with you all exactly how married we are. Now it's your turn! Leave us a voicemail at +1 727-619-4629 or send a voice message to our DM's on the #HMAY Instagram.
WAYS TO PARTNER WITH US:
Get special access to things we’re working on, extra content from our fam, and more on Patreon: / hmay
Support us with a one-time gift through PayPal: www.paypal.me/HMAYpodcast
CONNECT WITH US ON INSTAGRAM:
HMAY Podcast: / howmarriedareyou
Glen: / beleafmel
Yvette: / mrsmelanin
Chocolate Babes: / chocolatebabies
Frank the Puppet: / frankpuppet
Yvette Unplugged Podcast: / yvette_unplugged
WATCH BELEAF IN FATHERHOOD:
/ beleafinfatherhoodtv
Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of How Married Are You?! See you next week!
Every time Yvette brings up the dishwasher situation I buss out laughing cause it seem like this is going to be a never ending situation 😂😂😂
lol 😂 I chuckled too
I mean it’s so funny😂😂🎉
"I just want better for my sister"
Period
💯
A gem for me tonight:
Yvette saying "if we define clearly what we want we'll be able to operate more efficiently, in our relationships...and in our lives". Love that!
Black woman, 29
Grew up in a (fully black) household w/o a dishwasher (I was the dishwasher 😒)
THE MOMENT I got an apartment (with a black roommate) I figured out how it worked and used it! And yes Glenn, bowls go upside down because who wants to dump water out of bowls and then dry them. That’s extra work and ion got time for allat! 😁✌🏾
Glenn said the same thing this older woman said to us younger women three decades ago and that was, "men have many options". She also said, "and that is why a lot of women have so many partners before marriage". Basically, she told us to keep our legs closed until we learn how to accept that we may be alone for a bit if we value ourselves and our bodies more than giving in to the demands of the current dating culture. My dad said that men are professional test drivers because they will drive as many cars (women) as they are allowed to without buying (marrying) any of them for decades. He told me this in the early 80's and things haven't changed one bit,
I mean you can have sex your legs being closed but I get what you’re saying lol
not a single bit.
……
All of this!
I’m only like 20 minutes in or something but I feel Yvette!! I don’t think I’m much older than the caller. When I was dating in 2020 every guy I matched with wanted a simple hookup. You really have to know what you want and not take anything less if you want a relationship. That’s what made my current husband different. We talked online for like 2 weeks and when we met in person he told me right away he wanted a relationship and he wasn’t seeing anyone else. Friends with benefits never seems to work out well and it seems people seem to fall into that when they settle after being told “I don’t want a relationship”. The best thing is to walk away then.
It never works out. I don't care. I usually don't say never, but I've NEVER seen "friends with benefits" work out. It's too much gray area and someone always starts liking the other person more (usually the woman).
The thing is that women have to believe the men and not try to change them. Initially he said I’d didn’t want a relationship, but you still agreed to benefits. Probably internally hoping that he’d change his mind. I promise if a man wants to be in a relationship with you he will! It will not be confusing.
Yep!
I’m a black millennial in my mid thirties and grew up not using the dishwasher. We use the dishwasher in our house now. Breaking that cycle 🤣
It’s hard to make a man that you’ve been in a situationship with your man. Once he’s already been intimate with you it’s not worth the effort to them anymore.
That dating scenario 😮💨 He didn’t do anything wrong, he got what she was giving and didn’t want a relationship with her. He told her that and she accepted it.
She should’ve been dating multiple men like she said.
Live and learn.
Girl, that ain't new...these situationships BEEN going on in every generation! Nothing new under the sun!
Situationships are the worst
Why did I think ya'll were going to cover the Who TF Did I Marry Tik Tok Series (from the title). Would love to hear your thoughts on that lol
Practicing on the shorty's you're not interested in until you get good for the REAL one you want!!! That is a true GEM Glenn .....Thank You!!! Don't allow yourself to be practiced on aka "have fun or exercise your sexual agency or freedom" Wait on God to send you the one He chooses for you.
On the dishwasher issue: I'm 36, from the south and use it as a drying rack. Now I do use the sanitize wash with a cap full of bleach every week. I need to see the clean on my dishes!! This was passed down for generations lol!!
I use the dishwasher, I too feel like Mrs. Melanin is correct, I feel the exact same way. And my old dishwasher has a top wheel and a bottom wheel that sprays water. I agree there is a certain way to load the dishes to make sure they are cleaned efficiently. - 30 yrs old ❤
As a 23 y/o who has accepted this behavior from males in the past and experienced that same outcome, I want to say this. "Friends with benefits" is NEVER what I actually wanted. It was always an underlying yearning for true connection and intimacy, but a fear of rejection intermingled in there. If the guy would've said, "I want to make it official, and I want you to be my girlfriend," then 98% of the time... I probably would've said yes and jumped into his arms lol.
If you're giving up the yams (🍑) without stipulations, boundaries, and parameters then someone is going to take them without a true care or concern for you. Period. You gotta understand who you are in God first and foremost (your value), then set your standards HIGHER, and ALWAYS have those hard conversations FIRST before allowing any potential relationship to go further.
I don't have a dishwasher but if I did, it would be a drying rack
As an African American, I grew up in a Black household that used the dishwasher. I also use the dishwasher currently. I am 31.
I'm 45 years old and from the rural south. Growing up I couldn't WAIT until I lived somewhere with a Dishwasher. The only time I didn't use it if I had one is if it was one that didn't clean well.
It doesn't matter if you know how dishwashers work or not. It's common sense. Whether the water is coming from underneath the dishes or above, if the bowl is sitting up, the water will rest in the bowl.
I’m a whole 34 years old and I do not use the dishwasher. As a household of 1, it makes more sense for me to wash my dishes by hand. Now my 33 year old partner uses his dishwasher religiously at his place lol.
I'm mid 40s and I learned to use the dishwasher when I moved out on my own at 21. It was due to laziness and finding out that dishwashers use up less water than I spend washing them. Prior to that, my sister and I were the dishwashers whenever we went to our grandparents home.
I, a black wife and mother, use the dishwasher. And sometimes twice a day 🤷🏽♀️. I literally can't live without my dishwasher.
AND yes I have watched youtube videos that show the inside of a running dishwasher. Lol And yes! I hate the way my husband loads it 😂😩
Yvette is telling the truth. Common sense.
I'm seeing a pattern of people dating (going out to dinner, traveling together, doing couples activities together) but not calling dating. Similar to the never had a boyfriend/girlfriend attitude but they have been with the person for years but don't claim the title because of certain expectations. awareness and calling a thing what it is, if the other person doesn't want to admit y'all dating just shows how much they care.
Yvette: “That seems very logical to me” 😂😂😂😂 38:18
I didn't use my dishwasher for years, but now it's my best friend. I had to watch several YT videos on how to use it, and on what products were needed in order to get the best cleaning results.
I use the dishwasher after I wash my dishes. My dishes are clean clean 😂😂. I’m with Yvette on how to properly load the dishwasher. My wife and kids load it wrong every time. I am a Black male married to a black female, with 2 kids. 15 & 11. My Wife is 45 and I am 46. Yvette has some Virgo behavior 😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂
My hubby does the dishes because he said I wasn't doing it right. I am 54 and have used a dishwasher since I was a teenager. But, I let him do it. He likes to soak the dishes first before loading them in the dishwasher. 🤷🏾♀️
Ohh, I feel for that young lady...he saw her coming. He is immature but she was willing, unfortunately. I always told younger people (way before S. Harvey 😊) to wait at least 3 months before becoming intimate; that person will let you know who they are and what they have intended for you, trust me, it works. Also, as a black person from the United States of America, I use the dishwasher, but I also wash the dishes first 😂 Loving the outra ya'll!
Wait !??!? The song duo in the beginning! It was sooooooo smooth and beautifully done. I appreciated that soooo much.
🤎🤎🤎🥹🥹🥹
I’m 35, as a kid we didn’t use the dishwasher, it was a drying rack. In college, I started using it. After googling how to properly load it, I’m using it anytime I can!
I am a black 32 years old woman, living in south Mississippi. As a majority, in the black race, we DO NOT use the dishwasher, or at least, we weren’t reared using the dishwasher - it was all hands on deck, literally. Lol
However, I use the dishwasher now, but only started using it around age 29/30, and it has changed my life for the better!
I am now singing that gospel song, “I woonn’ttt go back, I can’t go back; to the waaayyy it used to be!” 😂
I'm wit Yvette on the dishwasher Glenn 👀, spin the arms to see if it hits anything is straightforward and common sense to me 🤣
Also, my wife and I currently use it, growing up we didn't tho, and I'm 35 lol!
We use the dishwasher now once in a while to “run it” not because we want to. Dishwasher is definitely a drying rack.
Okayyy love story song at the end 😆💛. The dishwasher situation is a tricky one. Though I understand Glen’s POV, Yvette has made some valid points.
i definitely used it as a dishrack UNTIL i started living on my own and had hella dishes 😂
"You don't have to be perfect to be enough!"
Thank you for that, Yvette! 🥹
Yes!!!
I spin it too to make sure the dishwasher can get all the dishes 😂 I’m West Indian though, but we are first generation dishwasher users! Breaking the cycle 🤣I’m 25
Love the song!
Checking in from the DMV.
I enjoyed the outtro you guys did❤😊
Y'all funny....I only use the dishwasher when I don't feel like washing dishes and or I’m running late. Age 42
Growing up my mom used to tell me often, that I was book-smart but had no common sense. Now I'm the doctor in the family. So, maybe there was something to that. However, I think that changes with age.
I’m 36, black, and use the dishwasher - I also wash/ wipe them first before running the cycle 😩. None of that commercial stuff putting murky dishes in there.
Nice song at the end.
Beleaf called this story from the first pause! Well done Professor X! 😂😂😂
People always get confused when things don’t pan out how you want it. Let’s define “situation” it means a set of circumstances in which one find themselves. From just that definition, it’s not going to end well. Why would you want to deal with unnecessary affairs.
My first time commenting and I have a few points
1. I have used the dishwasher but I don't use the dishwasher. 2. I once thought loading the dishwasher was common sense but I've learned that it isnt which is a little weird. Like Yvette said, the mechanism seems quite apparent.
3. What if dude actually like shorty but at some point realize she wasn't it but he was
A. Too nice to just send her on her way or
B. Was so caught up in the routine of things that it just made sense to him to keep the arrangement going until it just organically fazed out.
I'm also a native of Baltimore btw
This is why we as Christians need to do things God’s way. If not we run the risk of getting hurt. God’s rules aren’t to ruin our fun, it’s literally what is best for us. We just need to learn to be patient and obedient to His word. But I know no one is perfect.
I agree 100%. We need to adapt to the culture of the Bible and of the world.
As a woman & a 20 something, dating these days is dreadful. Dating apps sucks, a lot of emotionally unavailable men put themselves on dating apps when they should be in therapy🤷🏽♀️
I used the dishwasher for the first time this year (I’m 23) and I jokingly described it as breaking a generational curse too cuz it’s always only been used as storage/drying wrack in my house 🤣
I just got to the part where she said he only wanted something physical and I can already finish the story. As a 26 yr old I’ve heard this story tooooo many times
Y’all and the dishwasher!! 😂😂😂 I grew up (80’s baby) using a dishwasher and my momma was a stickler about how to load it 😩😒 but to Glen’s point I don’t really use it as an adult.
26, I use the dishwasher, we used it growing up being raised by my grandmother.
I'm with Yvette on the dishwasher, ebmvery aspect of it
I am a 53 year old black woman. When I was young. I was the automatic dishwasher along with my sister. We didn’t d not have a dishwasher initially. When my parents purchased a home there was a dishwasher there but we didn’t use it, mi Mom still does not allow anyone to use the dishwasher in her house. I however utilized my dishwasher daily when my kids were in the house.
I’m 27 growing up we would store snacks in the dishwasher lol. Now my husband and I use it as a drying rack
That song at the end is 🔥🔥🔥
Thank you!!!
Is it released anywhere?? Would love to loop it on repeat? Even if it means purchasing
Yes, you two should definitely go live. I like the audio stories. It adds something to it. Love your videos!
I am Black and 36 years old grew up in a Haitian household we were never allowed to use the dishwasher. Now that I live alone I use the dishwasher only when the dishes has piled too high and don't feel like standing at the sink to wash them all
Outro song is dope!!! Keep it!!!
I do not use the dishwasher. I only use it to dry my dishes.
Yes I am using the dish washer(34)
I use my dishwasher!! I'm 34 and learned how to use one in college 😂. But growing up we didn't have one, I was the dish washer.
That relationship story reminded me of family guy:
Do you want the boat or the mystery box?
The boat's a boat, the mystery box could be anything, it could even be a boat!
Peetaaah...
I'LL TAKE THE BOX!!!
24 year old here, dishwasher is definitely used as a drying rack 🤭but I feel like once more people are in my house (I.e husband, kids, guest) I’ll use it frfr, cause who has timeeee ¿
This is why I like listening because married or not, the topic still applies. Great responses to a confusing situation
Black American that is the same age as Glen. I grew up using a dishwasher. I didn’t realize other black people didn’t use dishwashers until I went to an HBCU. My people judged me when they saw me using it
I’m in my late 30s … growing up we didn’t have a dishwasher… as an adult I had one in my apartment it was a dryer rack 😂
Beleaf bro I say this in love. I think you should pray about what God’s will is in some of these discussions. I have heard you on a few occasions say things that seems like you are indifferent about premarital sex or if you are against premarital sex you say things like “their decision.” However you are in a teaching role. Many of these people constantly refer to the two of you as a second set of parents. As a result you are in a way a spiritual leader for these people and your responses don’t always point them to God’s truth. (Talking to Beleaf not Yvette) God wants us to call sin what it is. Still love people and don’t judge but at the same time your job as a spiritual leader should be to correct them in love and let them know that sex is wrong, why it’s wrong but at the same time giving them grace and praying for them as well as understanding them and relating to them. God takes us as we are but he expects us to change and be more like Him (born again) I pray you take this serious bro, because God has strict standards for those who choose to teach because if the people calling in aren’t convicted of their sin as a result of your response, you are unfortunately leading them astray. Yvette seems to be on the “what does God’s word say” side most of the time I pray you both can be on one accord. I also know I’m a random guy on CZcams so I encourage you to reach out to peers or spiritual leaders and give their thoughts. Perhaps a conversation offline with your old friend Ruslan? Regardless I do love this show. God bless 🙏🏾
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
1 Corinthians 7:2
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
Well spoken
I love the dishwasher 🤷🏾♀️, it saves so much time
I’ve ALWAYS used the dishwasher when one was available. I’m over 30 and blackety black black black. 😂
No! Lol I’m 33 and we don’t use the dishwasher.
Mannn sis! If you see this I had a similar situationship in my early 20s. I thought we had a great connection and we had never even had sex. Why the dude told me he got a girl pregnant with twins. He did tell me but I was still like ohhh kkkkk😂. Now as a married 30yo woman to a great man I look back on that and laugh so hard and thank GOD! That wasn’t me! 😂😂 It’s just a part of your story. I think we as women sometimes do secretly hope they will change their minds from not wanting relationships. But when God says it’s not the one listen! I feel like your desires were changing and you would’ve still put up the situation with hope that it would change and that becomes the problem. I know the dating scene is ghetto! Keep your head up sis! lol
GENX It was a drying rack. Now that we have 3 kids, we actually use it.
Glen is right. I’m 38 and the dishwasher was a drying rack until teaching became too much and I was too tired to wash those dishes. My parents still don’t use the dishwasher. It is a drying rack. There are videos on how to properly load the dishwasher. Even skill share has a class on it
Dishwasher thing is the truth!! My parents are completely appalled that I refuse to wash dishes 😂 I use my dishwasher faithfully because I always hated washing dishes growing up. I’m 32 yrs old btw! My parents DO NOT trust the dishwasher and they also feel like it’s going to make their water bill go up!
I've lived in my home for 7 years and I have never used my dishwasher. I only use it to store the dishes I washed.
Yes, Black people use the dishwasher. I am Black and have used one since the 80s. My parents had one. 🤷🏾♀️ (I am currently 54)
I have to be honest for years we did run the dishwasher for a drying rack. 😂😂 the insanity was we have to run at least once a month to make sure there was no backup… hahahaha😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
Black 36-year old. NO, I have NEVER used the dishwasher. It was a drying rack growing up and that is still how I use it to this day!! 🤣🤣
When I grew up no I didn’t used a dish washer but now in my own house as an adult I definitely use it. And we black black lol I’m 38 years old!
Growing up my dad said he had two perfectly good dishwashers-me and my brother so the dishwasher wasn't used, but I hated that little dish drainer on the counter. So as an adult with adult children, the dishwasher is our huge drying rack. Tried the dishwasher, but it's trash at cleaning.
I use my dishwasher to dry the dishes I wash. I'm 57. I do run it once a month to make sure it's running correctly though.. 😂
Black millennial here currently in my early 30s and I grew up using the dishwasher 😂 mama didn’t care how I did the dishes as long as they got done 😂😂😂
I don't understand why people accept the term of just being "friends with benefits" when they know they really want more. If you meet someone and they tell you they're not ready for a relationship, accept that as their truth and move accordingly. She should have not been upset when he got into a relationship at all. Her being upset meant she put more intentions and feelings into their agreement and that's her fault. If you're going to be friends with benefit then play your part and be just that. Another thing to add to that is, maybe the sex just wasn't all that to him and that's ok that just mean they simply weren't meant for one another.
Regarding the dishwasher. I am 42 years old and yes I do use my dish washer. I didn't always use my dishwasher though lol because growing up we either didn't have one or if we had one my parent's were too worried about it running up their electricity and water bill so we weren't allowed to use it often at all. But I've decided that's a generational thing I'm choosing to break lol. If I can afford a home that has a dishwasher in it then I'm going to use it damn it or should I say let my children use it because they are the one's responsible for the dishes lol. And it doesn't seem to effect my bills either so why not let them enjoy that convenience. I do also punish them by telling them they can't use the dishwasher whenever they are lacking on their chores in general so it is a privilege in my house.
We never used the dishwasher in over 20 years at my moms, but we did at my dads. (Both black)
It’s common sense for people who regularly use them lmao.
I’m 37 and grew up without and then with a dishwasher in my high school years. I’m also a former math teacher and think Yvette’s perspective and approach is very mathematical with a precise formula and result. I am also analytical in this way. For example, something that frustrates me is when cups are left to dry upside down without any air in between. The interior just ends up remaining moist and smelling like mildew and has to be re-washed. Technique leads to efficiency.
At the moment, me and my fam of 7 do have a dishwasher that is out of commission. I am grateful though because I think it’s good for our kids to learn how to wash without it like I did. We use a drying rack. I also think my teenager specifically would cut corners and get lazy with the rinsing and/or proper loading and unloading properly if we had a dishwasher.
Nonetheless! When it gets fixed or we move and have one that functions properly..I will give my fam an orientation (thanks to Glen) and we’ll put that baby to use! Don’t you dare get rid of yours!!
I love that the dishwasher situation always finds its way back! 😂😂😂
My husband and I are 31 and we use our dishwasher! We have 3 kids and it is a MUST for our sanity lol My husband did not grow up using one (the dishwasher was used as a drying rack in his home) but I did!!
And yes Glen, we are both black!😂
Didn’t grow up using a dishwasher but now… imma use a dishwasher!!
Glen in 2024 we definitely using the dishwasher! We done came up! I’m 30 y.o btw! The way it runs is not common sense but you can figure it out by looking at it. 😂 y’all funny!
This episode is talking right up my street!🙃🤦🏾♀️😂
I am a 29 year old single Black female in the USA, and I do not use the dishwasher. I was the dishwasher growing up and the actual appliance was always used as a drying rack and that is my reality now 😂
Yvette the dishwasher is definitely a drying rack in my house and I am 37. I do use if I’m exhausted from being an octopus for the day. I never had one growing up, I was the dish washer! Lol
Lol, Glen I was one of those ppl with no microwave. I gave in last year!
Whole black family, in our 50s, I use the dishwasher, mainly, cause there are some things that either don't fit or go in it.
The track at the end!?!? Where do we listen??
Omg, there’s so much I want to comment on from this episode but for now that song at the end is FIRE! And there was a point in the show where y’all were talking about options and Glen said something like you think you’re giving yourself more control by packing options but you just carrying a heavier bag.. Lawd I coulda started shouting off that one line. Lol. Cuz if that ain’t me!!!!!!! Lol
I’m a millennial who did grow up with a dishwasher once I became a preteen, BUT, I’m with Glen. At 30, I don’t know how to properly load it. I don’t know where/how the water sprays so I’d rather wash them myself 😅 my husband had a dishwasher probably once he got into his 20s? I know for a fact he doesn’t load it right, so again, we end up handwashing more often than not. We’re both Black lol.
39:28
That is true. But I used a dishwasher in 1980s
Ok 36 and I grew up without a dishwasher but I use mine all the time. And I’m black from USA lol
I’m 32, my Dad (black) 72 we never used the dishwasher growing up, he refused. My husband (black) grew up using it sometimes but mostly not…HOWEVER, he has no clue how to load a dishwasher either!!! I know it will be a long debate in our marriage for the rest of our lives lol