Don't Gate Keep Marital Success
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- čas přidán 6. 03. 2023
- Show Notes:
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Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of How Married Are You?! See you next week!
It’s insane how deep and real this conversation is. I feel like they need to play this on the national news so more people can here this😩🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Truth
I've been a big fan of this podcast for yearsss. I probably watched all episodes at least 3x.This is my first time commenting and I have to say this conversation really touched me. Thank you guys for your honesty and bravery. Finding that balance of honoring your parents but being able to tell your story is so tough. I'm working though that now and it felt so lonely until now! Thank you!
Ughhhh!!!! I'm near tears because I FEEL EVETT'S FRUSTRATION!!! I'm trying not to cry!! I'm over hear talking to Evette, like she can hear me. 🤦🏾♀️🤣
Wow! This is so poignant in my life right now as a young man, getting into therapy, loving on my partner, figuring life out as an adult, all the while navigating accountability with the older generation of my family.
You guys are incredible always with the topics but this one hit home intensely. So happy and blessed to be able to witness your content and learn from and grow with you.
❤ I appreciate your tireless work with all I have and I really do pray for you guys with my partner. On the regular days and also especially after an episode where things get heated between you two.
May the blood of Jesus cover you two, your marriage, your family and your mission in life. May his wisdom live in you as you break generational curses, pass on the blessings and freedom of this to your children and those around you by your teaching us how you do it. And may Christ keep your names in the book of life forever and ever AMEN!
I’m 21 in college basically never living the things y’all talk about but I love these conversations 😭 and even tho you guys can’t lay it all out I feel like everything y’all have said in all your episodes was enough for me to trust y’all’s judgment 🙏🏾 I refuse to take this podcast for granted
I like when Yvette is fired up... she's spitting serious facts
Each generation carries the torch a lil further than the generation before them. Mainly because the generation before paved that road with their blood, sweat and a whole lot of tears, so you could continue to walk on. There was no time to deal with trauma and wrong doings or feelings while dealing with Jim Crow, covert racism in the workplace, lynchings and the demasculation of our Black men, and try to raise our children. What we did do was have the conversations at home that taught you to question what we couldn’t and take your generation where we were not able. Now it’s your turn to pass that baton to the next generation through guidance & prayer and let them take us to the next level.
I don’t gate keep marital success, but what do you do when single people don’t want to listen? Today is my seven year anniversary with my high school sweetheart. We were our first everything. When sitting in conversations with my single friends who continue to have failed relationships, I try to give my input, but I’m the only person they shut down. They say it’s because I’ve only been with one person, so I don’t know what I’m talking about. The crazy thing is that I’ve been with one man since high school and we are still happy. We are in a respectful marriage, a happy marriage, and a wholesome marriage, but my friends would rather listen to other single females who continue to have failed relationships. I just shut up now. I’m never dismissive or judgmental when I listen to their problems, but they are very dismissive when I chime in after they brought up the conversation.
You have to respect people's exercise of free will. They may say they want help, but if they're not acting like they want help, then don't help. They're stuck in cognitive dissonance and if you try to come in with your light, you're guaranteed to be gaslit.
I will take your advice! Give it please!
@@godlovesusall8115 I love your response, and I have kept my mouth shut for quite some time now. I never give unwarranted advice. Usually, someone is asking for it, but they really aren’t ready to hear it. A friend of mine who would share lots of things with me started to become very distant in terms of being open with me. I never beg for information, so in the act of me not prying in her business bothered her enough to tell me why she kept info from me. She felt that I never tell her anything about my relationship. I advised her to keep being secretive with me because I don’t have a messy relationship that involves a story to tell every couple of days. That conversation ended quickly. I understand what you are saying and I’ve already adopted that mindset. People will listen when they are ready to take the ear plugs out.
@@Actavella 🤣 What do you want to know? I can help to the best of my ability 😊
In my opinion, I think you share enough information, I listen with the understanding that you have boundaries too 🤷🏾♀️
Generally, people online tend to have itchy ears for details may not be necessary
That Eve Context is on POINT!
Riah Bo may benefit from compression clothing. Like a vest, or sleeves... he may also like a weighted blanket
I think it takes maturity to be able to listen to you guys and be able to see the depth of what you and beleaf are saying Yevette. It might take some to hear the details to be able to understand. I think when I hear you say certain ideas I can think of an area in my life where it would fit. I don’t think i find my self saying, “man I need more details from this specific story beleaf is telling for example, I don’t get it…. “ I use the truth that is being said and try to apply it to my own life. Like if I hear you admit something like man I’m not getting it right in motherhood I say man let me pray for my sister in Christ but I also mirror that same self awareness and think like man let me be this authentic with my self and others and find people who think this way and do life with them.
I think we are the best of all the generation. Older folks never quite got it together. And younger folks are devolving from good practices.
Omgsh 😲 Yvette went in and let half. I started praising!
As you were speaking this scripture flashed in my mind.
1 Corinthians 13:11
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
Uriah needs more one on one time.
The generation after you will think about you the same as the generation before you think about you now. At least you realize that. Times, language and situations will be different for the next generation. Do your best and be kind. Then you'll have no regrets.
That "honor and protect" hits HARD!
Thank you Guys for this wonderful convo, this was another real one for HMAY that goes down in the books. Love this for the culture 🙌🏾👏🏾🤎
17:25 Sarah Jakes Roberts book ‘Woman Evolve’ is all about this ‼️🗣🙌🏾
You guys are speaking straight into the season of life I am in. Trying to heal while being married, raising young kids, while honoring my parents and all the things that comes with consciously adulting. I pray you continue to grow and heal for yourselves. This is truly beautiful to see ❤️
This is so heavy! You both are 💯 Love u both! K. Ford
YOOOOOOOOOOO TURN OFF THE FREAKIN STOVE!!!!!! YVETTE! YOUR STORY IS MY STORY! I am loving this conversation! It is confirmation for me. I am writing a book and I've been struggling trying to edit myself so I don't expose, not just the previous generation but, the generation before them too! My grandmother recently passed and I felt like certain things I can say now that she's gone because my mom would have been uncomfortable. My mom released me to write my story but I wasn't sure she was aware how much her story effected my story and some stuff needed to be said. You guys confirmed people who are hurting NEED to hear the WHOLE story!
I feel this so much with my dad versus me and my perspective. I love him dearly, but I do not see how he confronts his past to learn from it and do better. He just gives it to God and looks away. While that works with our sin, it does not fully help us with repentance, with us turning away from repeating said sin.
My goodness what an awesome episode!!! So relatable! Thank you! ❤
So good
This conversation was so good & necessary!
This was such a great conversation 😊
It may be just me but although this was a great convo and I got the point. I felt like I missed the beginning or the context. It sounds like you both are speaking from an experience where the generation after you said you guys weren’t being fr or you got feedback from the generation before you and they don’t understand your ministry. And then we just walked into the middle of your convo discussing the feedback. I hope that makes sense. You gave enough examples for me to understand and for this convo to be clear but i couldn’t help feeling like i missed the bigger context of where this convo stemmed from😅
I just thought.. Maybe yvette finding that post would’ve helped😂😂😂. Also, the bigger context may be something we’re not privy to hear which is also fine lol. On another note I’m 26 and a millennial but close to genz as well. i think you guys are doing a great job at letting us in as much as you can while honoring your ppl. To think you guys could’ve possibly been more real than you have been is crazy lol, and feels like a privilege.🥺 We’ll need fasting And prayers to change the old gen 🙃
My favorite part is paying off a bill. I try to pay off a bill off every chance I get.
The Bible states in Ecclesiastes 3:1-9 there is an appointed time for everything. It is a matter of praying for wisdom and knowledge, trial and error, and receiving good sound advice from others when to act upon a particular issue or NOT. Thank God for hearing, answering our prayers. He will guide us if we allow Him to. The goal in life with God's help, is to strive too be better versions of ourselves.
Yvette gon make me spill all the beans so I can just let it all go and take away the space for those people to approach me in any capacity! But Jesus......idk....
@ 30:19 This is very peculiar to me. I am 51 years old. I breast fed all of my children. My mother and my aunts breastfed. My sisters and my cousins all breast fed. We called it nursing. I don't know it to be any other way in the Black community. White women wanted the breast milk of Black women for their children. I wasn't aware that there was a sect within the Black community that didn't have the same experience. I understand that we all don't because we are not a monolith but I honestly thought for the most part the majority of us did. 🤔🤔🤔 interesting 🤔
I agree! I am a 70s baby as well, and I breastfeed my children in the early 2000s. My mother and grandmother and some of my aunts (not all) breastfed their children. It all depends on the family you come from.
One reason why I've been a bit silent about my story is because it brings feelings of embarrassment. Yeah I wasn't the perpetrator, but what happened to me feels so embarrassing. It's like second hand embarrassment. Like why would you do that?
I’m currently at this point, i really want to respectfully tell an older person that their action is wrong but at the same time I can’t. It’s worse in African cultures to be honest
Let go of what you can’t control, and always speak your mind, but don’t expect the response you desire. Lastly, seriously take it to the Lord. Older Africans have soooo much trauma yet are so blind that they call the trauma good. It’ll take us speaking up and the Lord changing their hearts.