Neal Brennan - Every Girl Is Either Freezing or Starving

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  • čas přidán 1. 02. 2018
  • #NealBrennan on how girls and guys are hateful in different ways, what makes relationships last, and why women's bodies don't make sense.
    Neal Brennan stand up from the Just for Laughs Festival in 2013.
    #NealBrennanJFL #NealBrennanStandUp
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    Just For Laughs is the world’s premiere destination for #standupcomedy. JFL produces the world’s largest and most prestigious comedy event every July in Montreal, as well as annual festivals in Toronto and Sydney. On this channel, you will find comedic clips from some of the most legendary comedians in the business: Chris Rock, Bill Burr, Kevin Hart, and more. We also feature stand-up from newcomers such as John Mulaney, Bo Burnham, and Amy Schumer. If you just want to laugh, you’re in the right place.
  • Komedie

Komentáře • 355

  • @entertain7us148
    @entertain7us148 Před 5 lety +1611

    “Women dress for the first 30 seconds of wherever they’re going.”
    As a woman I can confirm this is accurate af.

    • @robfab5204
      @robfab5204 Před 5 lety +5

      Haha dang

    • @entertain7us148
      @entertain7us148 Před 5 lety +19

      DJ Xistential ... I’m sorry, what?

    • @nachtegaelw5389
      @nachtegaelw5389 Před 5 lety +5

      Haha not me, I value comfort. I’m not afraid of “ruining” an outfit with a thick cardigan. I wear sweaters year round 😂

    • @BratvaTV
      @BratvaTV Před 4 lety +4

      @DJ Xistential this writes the Chappelle show with Dave

    • @TheLadyDelirium
      @TheLadyDelirium Před 4 lety +6

      @@nachtegaelw5389 When I was younger I would value what I looked like over warmth and comfort but as I've got older I've completely changed. I wear comfy shoes and cardigans now but I'm happy with that.

  • @jada8820
    @jada8820 Před 6 lety +403

    "I had lunch but I'm starving" - me

  • @jesse-5318
    @jesse-5318 Před 6 lety +905

    If you told an architect to build a woman he'd say... its not safe.
    Haha best line ever. Lol 😂😂

    • @locsbyholiday2231
      @locsbyholiday2231 Před 5 lety +23

      "I mean I could build it but she's never gonna be able to heat herself. She'll be freezing and starving her entire life." 😂😂😂

    • @nebulousisgod
      @nebulousisgod Před 5 lety +11

      Reminds me of a joke I once heard where they called women structurally unsound

    • @mermaidflows4391
      @mermaidflows4391 Před 4 lety +1

      @@nebulousisgod actually I think they were talking about Barbie dolls. Which is exactly the body type he is describing. Lol. I think it's the same joke maybe he borrowed it

  • @LivsWorld
    @LivsWorld Před 6 lety +237

    I feel personally attacked by this 😂😂

    • @peterpaz4877
      @peterpaz4877 Před 5 lety

      that's what makes you a woman.....

    • @MrDwaneMann
      @MrDwaneMann Před 5 lety +2

      1 year later.... still .... no one cares

    • @peterpaz4877
      @peterpaz4877 Před 5 lety

      @@MrDwaneMann - 1 year later, I'm with ya Dwane.

    • @gemule
      @gemule Před 4 lety

      Peter Paz aww good luck you guys!

    • @DSB831
      @DSB831 Před 3 lety

      Eat some Cheetos and put on a hoodie

  • @adorahowell7223
    @adorahowell7223 Před 6 lety +238

    I'm both, freezing and starving all the time. I'm anemic and most of my life I have had no food to eat. The situation is real.

  • @francobenevento7598
    @francobenevento7598 Před rokem +22

    Neil is the most underrated comedian of all time. Blocks is an absolute masterpiece and no one I know has even heard of it.

    • @JL-rv9lm
      @JL-rv9lm Před rokem +1

      Agree, and his tribute to Chappelle at the Mark Twain Prize was genius.

    • @mc76
      @mc76 Před rokem

      None of your friends can afford Netflix, obviously.

    • @williamgardner7886
      @williamgardner7886 Před měsícem

      I love the 3 part joint

    • @OhGrowUpPodcast
      @OhGrowUpPodcast Před 3 dny

      Personally liked 3 Mics more, but def a dark horse no one knows about… he only wrote for the most successful show on Comedy Central

  • @BGriff-
    @BGriff- Před 5 lety +476

    "Girls dress for the first 30 seconds of wherever they are going" BIG FACTS!!!! (Respectfully of course)

  • @roysreceptive
    @roysreceptive Před 6 lety +548

    I like how it all came full circle.

    • @tavoymoore7981
      @tavoymoore7981 Před 6 lety +16

      L.Pasteur he’s the guy behind the dave chappelle show.

    • @um22w22
      @um22w22 Před 6 lety +3

      Tavoy Moore oh now Dave chapelle has a ghost writer?! You might want to see chapelle’s stand up to know that this guy was munching off of him.

    • @tavoymoore7981
      @tavoymoore7981 Před 6 lety +16

      um22w22 u have no clue lol

    • @OneDarkCutie
      @OneDarkCutie Před 6 lety +14

      um22w22 They came up with a majority of the content together, but it was indeed the 'Chappelle show'. Dont sleep on Neal, though.

    • @janelemberg2723
      @janelemberg2723 Před 5 lety

      L.Pasteur i

  • @Lubbylove89
    @Lubbylove89 Před 6 lety +136

    He ain't lyin about that lunch though...lol I'll sometimes eat a handful of cheerios and that's it.

  • @iwant2rob
    @iwant2rob Před 5 lety +35

    i just realized that i seriously am freezing and starving as i watch this

  • @TheRocketNasty
    @TheRocketNasty Před 6 lety +91

    man that last joke with the architect is unbelievable. fucking hilarious :D

  • @baddi25
    @baddi25 Před 5 lety +93

    That architect line is gold. Womens bodies are not safe lol

  • @curseyoujordanshow
    @curseyoujordanshow Před 6 lety +25

    That was a damn tight 4 minutes. Nicely done.

  • @markhippyshire
    @markhippyshire Před 6 lety +164

    Dude had 4 minutes to make me laugh. That's not a lot of time, and he painted a pretty picture. I loved this set.

  • @favourudegbunam5904
    @favourudegbunam5904 Před 6 lety +50

    "If you told an architect to build a woman he'll be like, IT'S NOT SAFE"

  • @ewhoyer
    @ewhoyer Před 6 lety +206

    His concert “Three Mike’s”on Netflix is very worthwhile - funny guy.

  • @olie3625
    @olie3625 Před 4 lety +3

    This couldn't come at a better time, am freezing and eating right now 🤣

  • @firstname__lastname
    @firstname__lastname Před 6 lety +82

    Ok right.. my brain was trying to place him... Now I know.
    Chappelle showwwwww

  • @celieboo
    @celieboo Před 5 lety +4

    That architect joke was comedy PLATINUM!

  • @Chococat_Ariana
    @Chococat_Ariana Před 6 lety +140

    Oh gosh. I looked at this video's title and I'm ashamed to say I'm both :D

  • @DarthFurie
    @DarthFurie Před 6 lety +8

    The accuracy of this whole set 😂😂 I'm a woman and he read us all for filth lmao

  • @rawkrXbabee
    @rawkrXbabee Před 6 lety +219

    Then theres me always eating and wearing like 12 hoodies

    • @k.k.7797
      @k.k.7797 Před 5 lety +8

      Sammy when the others freeze & starve we shall rise

    • @habirton
      @habirton Před 5 lety +10

      The real question is what are your views on breaking bad, being cool and sex.

    • @valesth4903
      @valesth4903 Před 5 lety +9

      @@habirton We don't like being cool, that's why we steal all your hoodies.

    • @habirton
      @habirton Před 5 lety +2

      @@valesth4903 lol. Touche.

    • @mr.nobody9697
      @mr.nobody9697 Před 5 lety +5

      @@habirton this has got to be the greatest line of responses to a YT comment ive ever read. All funny.

  • @newplanman9836
    @newplanman9836 Před 6 lety +31

    Love his delivery and timing...perfect. Totally David Spadesque

  • @ADerpyReality
    @ADerpyReality Před 6 lety +54

    Before he even starts speaking... As a woman I can say that we are often cold/hot or hungry... I'll get back after the bit.
    After show - That man is doing what the universe wants him to do. He is hilarious.

    • @xandersummerlot4971
      @xandersummerlot4971 Před 5 lety

      This comment isn’t edited, so I find it very confusing how you could have commented at the start and end of the video :/

    • @habirton
      @habirton Před 5 lety +10

      @@xandersummerlot4971 That's an interesting question, I'll let you know after I get a glass of water and think about it for a minute.
      Oh, just like this! I didn't hit reply and continued to type ;)

  • @sivan-yn5sg
    @sivan-yn5sg Před 5 lety +3

    The ending has me dying😂😂😂

  • @voice88out
    @voice88out Před 5 lety +2

    Neal is unbelievably funny

  • @VianneyCreates
    @VianneyCreates Před 5 lety +15

    It's not safe. LOL!

  • @lucasewen7225
    @lucasewen7225 Před 5 lety

    Oh my god that is a great bit. I've seen his stuff before, but that bit was amazing.

  • @sayfirenix9354
    @sayfirenix9354 Před 6 lety

    The come together on that joke was a amazing!

  • @valiummarbles317
    @valiummarbles317 Před 3 lety +1

    freezing and starving..sounds like me in winter with my borderline eating disorder :(

  • @erikawickwire9322
    @erikawickwire9322 Před 5 lety +4

    Haha so true. My coworker and I take turns saying I'm freezing and I'm starving all day

  • @jdarb2
    @jdarb2 Před 5 lety

    Lol this was funny as hell. I gotta see more!

  • @AlexaBellaMuerte
    @AlexaBellaMuerte Před 6 lety

    Hahaha love the punch line. I'm freezing and starving already.

  • @DETROIT1948
    @DETROIT1948 Před rokem

    It's Not Safe!
    Priceless ✨✨✨✨

  • @kelviannaepperson3677
    @kelviannaepperson3677 Před 5 lety +1

    His Christmas jokes on the daily show was hilarious

  • @mr.nobody9697
    @mr.nobody9697 Před 5 lety

    Watching this routine is a great way to learn stand up.

  • @PA-jh2dr
    @PA-jh2dr Před měsícem

    As an anemic woman who is an architect, this video sent me down an existential spiral. Thanks Neal.

  • @kargirl33
    @kargirl33 Před 6 lety

    why is this so accurate!

  • @Vix_Vi
    @Vix_Vi Před 4 lety +7

    I don't have those issues. I'm overweight! I'm stuffed with food and my stuffing is keeping me warm.

  • @Lugenfabrik
    @Lugenfabrik Před 3 lety

    So good.

  • @mimiej8159
    @mimiej8159 Před 5 lety +6

    I’m a girl who is currently both freezing and starving

  • @Wh0isTh3D0ct0r
    @Wh0isTh3D0ct0r Před 5 lety +3

    3:48 That Asian woman in the front row is SOOOO pissed!! Bwahahahaaaa!!
    (Maybe she's freezing and starving.)

  • @ccc-fd3ls
    @ccc-fd3ls Před 4 lety +2

    As soon as I read the title I knew he understood me 😂

  • @SamBassComedy
    @SamBassComedy Před 6 lety +10

    That was amazing. Hilarious and amazing.

  • @deasiasimone5302
    @deasiasimone5302 Před 6 lety

    This guy is awesome 👏🏽😂😂

  • @waaywavyme
    @waaywavyme Před 6 lety +1

    that statement is tru lol

  • @XhosaShinobi01
    @XhosaShinobi01 Před 5 lety

    He is effortlessly funny.

  • @blondienicole9684
    @blondienicole9684 Před 5 lety +3

    That's the most accurate statement. I wear sweats even in the summer and I could eat a 3 course meal but still he hungry after

  • @Gerelisf
    @Gerelisf Před 6 lety

    Hilarious!!!! Reallly made me laugh

  • @adriandelatorre8963
    @adriandelatorre8963 Před 5 lety

    Just saw the title and started laughing. Lol

  • @sineadbeel1917
    @sineadbeel1917 Před 5 lety +3

    I'm ALWAYS freezing a starving. I wear long pants a jacket in summer but a slight breeze makes me cold (I work in a supermarket with ac) I'm always starving because I exercise more than I eat because eating is boring and requires cooking/effort so I just starve.

  • @omarct
    @omarct Před 5 lety

    Yep, so true

  • @gracierose6754
    @gracierose6754 Před 5 lety

    watching this as i’m cold asf 😂

  • @shoutrite91
    @shoutrite91 Před 6 lety

    LOL!!!! This guy is great

  • @indrabrugueras2627
    @indrabrugueras2627 Před 6 lety +11

    Neal and Iliza ! come on who alse would also totally go see them or watch them !?! love them ! when is this Match up gonna happen?

  • @lionandhippo
    @lionandhippo Před 5 lety +1

    I laughed just at the title

  • @chuckcarter4251
    @chuckcarter4251 Před rokem +1

    I see a lot of this dude in Dave and vice versa … both hilarious

  • @smanthawalsh
    @smanthawalsh Před 5 lety

    So true lmbo

  • @jessface777
    @jessface777 Před 6 lety

    Great ending!

  • @andresciahooten9598
    @andresciahooten9598 Před 3 lety +1

    That sound like a girl that I just seen on New Year’s Eve! 😂😂😂

  • @PTSarah32
    @PTSarah32 Před 5 lety

    So funny I actually snotted on myself and then snorted.

  • @arjuscarlet55555
    @arjuscarlet55555 Před 5 lety

    It's not safe.😂😂😂😂😂 Damn.🖤

  • @quackapatth
    @quackapatth Před 2 lety

    best set ive seen only callback too nice

  • @tomgold5006
    @tomgold5006 Před 5 lety

    great crowd

  • @ggmaudlin425
    @ggmaudlin425 Před 4 lety

    I feel attacked😂😂

  • @kontrapunkti
    @kontrapunkti Před 5 lety

    That was good

  • @KU-mq4er
    @KU-mq4er Před 5 lety

    Hahaha brilliant lad .

  • @METAL-ADDICT
    @METAL-ADDICT Před 4 lety

    That was pretty damn funny =)

  • @cherryliang5117
    @cherryliang5117 Před 4 lety

    I’m freezing and full

  • @messymonster690
    @messymonster690 Před 6 lety

    right now im both

  • @tangonice8189
    @tangonice8189 Před 6 lety

    So True 😄

  • @Cmorrison626
    @Cmorrison626 Před 6 lety

    The title alone is hilarious...

  • @mztweety1374
    @mztweety1374 Před 5 lety +3

    Right up to middle age then we're freezing, starving and burning TF up!!

  • @bloamy8498
    @bloamy8498 Před 4 lety

    Neal be underrated

  • @samanthamichelle2094
    @samanthamichelle2094 Před 5 lety

    Im both 😅

  • @standupbear4811
    @standupbear4811 Před 6 lety

    His brother is the best

  • @jimmymora9776
    @jimmymora9776 Před 3 lety +1

    *while eating* "I'm starving"

  • @WeaveDreamer
    @WeaveDreamer Před 5 lety

    ITS NOT SAFE 😂 Lmfao

  • @mirandabaxter9296
    @mirandabaxter9296 Před 6 lety +65

    He's funny..

  • @thephoenix2176
    @thephoenix2176 Před 6 lety

    Tru dat. . .AND for dressing special occasions Lmao!!

  • @HashimWarren
    @HashimWarren Před 4 lety +1

    Just the title made me laugh. I had to click

  • @hikingtotoro
    @hikingtotoro Před 5 lety

    Nice

  • @emijta
    @emijta Před 5 lety

    I usually am both most of times😁 in fact that's why I dress warm and eat so much.

  • @blahblahtoucan5329
    @blahblahtoucan5329 Před 5 lety +3

    Funny but can't really relate . If I'm cold I either find something to make me warm or try to ignore it. And if I'm hungry I stare into the fridge, waiting for inspiration.

  • @gennylaig9896
    @gennylaig9896 Před 6 lety

    This is halarious

  • @mecraft1323
    @mecraft1323 Před rokem

    Literally saw a girl in the front row of his audience crossing her arms so as to keep in warmth. Worst part is, she was wearing a sweater. But was still cold LOL!

  • @rachelmauricio9164
    @rachelmauricio9164 Před 5 lety

    ITS NOT SAFE !!! LOL!

  • @mr.Swartz
    @mr.Swartz Před 6 lety +23

    Neal is the Man behind the Man you’re laughing at

  • @isabelabassett2764
    @isabelabassett2764 Před 4 lety +1

    I’m a comfortable temperature. But hungry

  • @chaosdream21
    @chaosdream21 Před 6 lety +3

    he has nice eyes

  • @stephensullivan1011
    @stephensullivan1011 Před 5 lety

    So accurate 😄👌 literally my gf

  • @youiloves1242
    @youiloves1242 Před 6 lety +2

    Love him! Found him from Joe rogan podcast

  • @richardmichael7523
    @richardmichael7523 Před 5 lety

    so true on the 30 sec women wardrobe...........
    Architects..............
    LOL

  • @TheHouseOfRonin
    @TheHouseOfRonin Před 4 lety

    100% sniper accuracy

  • @arsaeterna4285
    @arsaeterna4285 Před 6 lety +3

    I feel like you have to be a really specific type of person to... really like that bit

  • @nengstle
    @nengstle Před 4 lety +1

    Did Iliza S. totally steal this dude's routine or vice versa?

  • @curtwilliams2606
    @curtwilliams2606 Před 5 lety

    Nawww, she gotta shower😂

  • @tarico4436
    @tarico4436 Před 6 lety +8

    Such great friends. What a big hug when she introduced him as her great friend. I thought they'd never stop kissing. I hear wedding bells. Do you?

  • @rafthethinker4948
    @rafthethinker4948 Před 4 lety

    The woman architect bit should've been a chapelle show sketch somehow

  • @alhutch1798
    @alhutch1798 Před 6 lety +1

    lol this is good