The Temptations (r/196)
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- čas přidán 13. 03. 2024
- The pain cave was no match for this hooligan.
Oz Shorts Channel (Plus Streaming, Viewer Beware): / ozshorts
Discord: / discord
Twitter: OzMediaOfficial?l...
Go check out the artists behind the Avatars:
linktr.ee/star_smelting
x.com/Sarujelly?t=YMPBe0jsJI2...
/ birbplague
Links to Music and Content Below
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The Oz Media Reddit Collection: • r/insanepeoplefacebook...
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Music from filmmusic.io
"Apero Hour" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
“Backbay Lounge” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
“Bossa Antigua” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
“Crinoline Dreams” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
License: CC BY (creativecommons.org/licenses/b...) - Zábava
Oh yeah so plz use code oz at checkout with gamersupps. Actual ad spot coming soon, outro explains everything gamersupps.gg/oz
I want you to know that my nuts hurt spiritually and that it's purely your fault.
Thanks for the ADHD tip Oz. I need to make use of that one.
My snutts hurt spiritually and I wanted to tell the man who hath caused that pain. I hope the next essay you write that your 'e's are a larger font than the rest of your letters.
STOP BEING GREEDY
Oz what would you think about a crossover with Kalbus?
Your brand of chaos would fit with Zen and lumo perfectly
Fun fact, dogs can smell stress and they like it. That's why they "can smell fear".
So if the dog zeroed in on the doggirl, it's because she was so mad as to send cortisol pouring out of her skin 😭😭😭
*Becomes a cortisol water fountian
@@IncensedAgitator**sips*
@@IncensedAgitator *gets splashed by the cortisol fountain water and becomes a nervous wreck
@@IncensedAgitator*slurps you dry
@@nicktallfox5266AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The first post being a person completely forgetting their pick up line was actually endearing
Honestly yeah it is kinda cute
plot twist, that IS the pick up line
They win the pickup line competition
@@ratoh1710 It would work better on me than any pickup line so. yeah
What a wild thing to see. If I got that message chain, someone going out of their way to emulate the sound of such awkward stuttering, I'd block immediately.
The thing with the "are you sad" is a legit strategy they use to calm someone down, it shocks the brain into becoming "normal"
That shit factory resets your brain
@@arandomkobold8403 hard system reboot
Mental health percussive maintenance.
Anger works too. I've been mid panic attack and something came up I tend to rant about, and I ranted myself out of the panic lol
Yeah that is a really interesting psychological thing to know about specially if ya having someone/yourself with a panic attack
They forgot one thing with mr. Krabs, he would monetize you.
"Come look at our trans enployee, arg arg arg, five dollars a view"
Like Sara Baartman, jc
so like most companies do?
@@flamingrubys11no most companies dont acknowledge their trans employees, they just tweet about pride month while underpaying them
Bikini Bottom would get bored of it within a week.
Mr Krabs is Disney confirmed????
14:49, "content warning," never in my life has that ever been this insufficient to prepare me for what I was about to hear.
I was... actually mildly shocked and not surprised, because that's probably not the most disgusting self- made body horror thing posted to Reddit.
I have never physically recoiled so violently to a single question in my life
@@Peannlui The most baffling thing is that it had TWO WHOLSOME SEALS! How was that wholesome!?
if there was a reddit hall of infamy, that would be on the list
@@coolgreenbug7551 most likely from the old days where you could get a random award once per day, and they got the seal
I saw a tumblr chain about the "10 million or wait on this table?" tweet, and it was pointed out that waiting on this table meant you could poison their food.
Hmmmmm, you make a good point.
on the other hand you go to jail for mass murder. eh it is fair trade. on the other hand I could use the 10 mil to hire hitmen
@@quandilyaunlapin7975hit men for this would cost more than 10 million. However, you could use that 10 million to start a business and make a lot of money, them use your new income to do good things, like lobby for better laws and donate to efforts to improve infrastructure and social programs
@@quandilyaunlapin7975 that's only if you get caught
My immediate thought lmao
2:43 fun fact, despite sharks and stingrays being related, they are not close to related to where they could actually have a hybrid, so it is 100% stingray Jesus
there was a similar case where a shark in an all-female tank got pregnant. i think it's something that those types of animals do every once in a while, just get pregnant for no apparent reason or something lol
@@broblerone413Yep, they basically clone themselves, kinda like asexual reproduction
its called parthanogenesis
@@griffinhunter3206 thank you for saying it. I forgot the word.
that's like saying you can't get twinks pregnant
The first one reminds me of this;
- You killed my father
No, I am your father
I mean- I'm pregnant and you're the father!
I- You're pregnant and I'M THE BABY!
Where is that from because that is hilarious
I mean- the baby is you, I'm having a baby and the baby you
@@ogopogoagogo Starwars misunderstandings
Homestuck...
@@vickypedia1308no
“Freddy Fazbear has nothing on the williest gorilla” is my new favorite phrase
Even some of the most violent gorillas are incredibly chill. As long as you don't show signs you're challenging it. Any gorilla would just mind its own business.
the animatronics do _worse_ than tearing...
@@RandomDudeOffTheInternet*sees Freddy running like cop in chase stomping the ground while make the ground mad shake*
Uhhh, so what exactly pisses a gorilla off?
@@purplepedantry counterpoint: a couple of gallons of water would not stop a charging gorilla.
@@AntoinesCorner
Counter-counterpoint - They work without an electrical connection in the games, unlike in the film.
This dictates that they would also function with waterlogged circuits.
Now I might be a guy, but I can assure you the failed pickup line from the first guy would have absolutely worked on me because it made me laugh. That's worth a lot.
Same
thats gay
@@martinpachu7125I can’t tell how this is said so I don’t know if I should say “and?” or just laugh and agree
It do be pretty gay, butt fuck it
@@cosmicvoidtreethe right answer is "correct, glad you admitted it". theres no recovery from that.
11:55 If the diamond factory runs on coal then they’re literally turning coal into diamonds. That’s way cooler than finding them in the ground.
Like reverse production of charcoal in Minecraft
@@shaden.l.m.9506It's what you do in minecraft's Slimefun server plugin+certain mods
It's almost like humans have learned how to reproduce thousands of years of pressure and heat in a controlled environment.
They put the diamonds through High School.
Imagine the looks on medieval alchemist's faces while they watch people nowadays turn coal into diamonds but they couldn't turn lead into gold
@@cylnder We can turn lead into gold too, actually. It's just ludicrously expensive, many, many times more than just mining it.
Belly laughed at this one. Had to wake up my pregnant wife to show her. Awesome
It got a chuckle out of me, not gonna lie.
Let her sleep.
12:20 you’d have to PAY ME 10 million to serve that table. 10 million after taxes, that is.
I'd do it for free, as long as I have a chance to run to the drug store first and get some secret ingredients.
@@bane2201 yeah like do we get to choose what we serve them? because if so, I'm going down as a martyr
“Here is the ACME special, sirs. One comically timed pipe bomb”
*bugs Bunny voice* the house special, boys *throws house at them*
@@willvan7685 Now that I think about it, if you were given a month of prep time you might actually be able to get away with it - put different things in the meals that "activate" at different times. Everyone would be suspicious if symptoms showed up within days, but you could use a variety to get different results - castor beans (for ricin), polonium-210, etc. Find an animal with rabies and use their saliva - _you'll_ know you need the vaccine, but _they_ won't until it's far too late (and it can take weeks or months for symptoms to become noticeable).
You're a fancy waiter, so it's natural to wear gloves and a suit. Shave your head and wear a wig (less DNA evidence). Use burnable containers. Scout their social media feeds - if any have gotten together recently/will get together soon, use the same "ingredient" for them.
Sourcing them _securely_ is difficult, but not impossible. Castor beans are easy to find. Polonium-210 is purchasable by schools (intercept the mail or use the dark 'net). Saliva from a rabid animal costs however much the vaccine costs (get it at a pharmacy far away, wear a mask "for safety from COVID", say you're uninsured, pay cash).
(I'm probably on a list now.)
The stingray question has one more, more terrifying possibility.
What other possibility? Did she take a page out of the mantis' book and eat her mate? I legit don't know any better and would love to know.
Trans Stingrays, like in Jurassic Park?
@@DarkLink1996. Someone really liked that stingray.
@@DarkLink1996. Most likely
Parthenogenesis (self fertilisation/cloning) is way more common in the animal kingdom than a lot of people realise
*Implying Mr. Krabs would pay to insure his employees in the first place.
I think he does, all three of his employees own their own home
Oh he does cause surely it's by law. But it's the bare minimum
@@kitalthevali SpongeBob's owned that house for longer than he's worked at the Krusty Krab.
“ Domesticated Pirate “ is now my favorite Oz quote praise the mole people
Praise the mole people indeed
Isnt that just a privateer?
"He's gonna rip me limb from limb while chasing me through a JC penny" is such a hilarious line, it caught me off guard
Edit: I said chase instead of rip, shhhh
god that fucking voice at the beginning while he says he forgot the pickup line is gold
I love Starship Troopers because it's very in your face about its message of "This timeline sucks and you don't wanna live in it" while hitting a lot of the beats for a good sci-fi military film.
12:15 I like how it looks like Peterson wasn't invited and just randomly shown up to look sadly at the others.
"I hope you enjoy your lobster..."
Petterson actually looks like he is dying on the inside as he has rare moment where he is honest to himself which forces him to acknowledge that he is such a sad loser and that he has become a pariah even among that crowd.
He always looks like he's dying inside. Or just dead
I think she meant dog dog eat dog world
*1:01** fun fact: this is an actual psychology thing. I forgot the name but basically just saying something out left field to cause the brain to focus on that rather then the emotions works*
Going to use this next time whenever any single one of the nonexistent friends in my head has a panic attack, thanks!! 😊.
Not a tactic that works on me very well, or at least with the established questions. "Out of pocket" tactics can work, but not with questions like "Are you sad?" when I'm visibly distressed. Just going to keep me caught in the loop of trauma dumping, instead of addressing ways to work on my emotional responses to my experiences.
@@Daelyahif i was clearly sad and someone said "are you sad?" I wouldn't be sad anymore, I'd just be angry at them because YES CLEARLY WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK THIS LOOKS LIKE, A PARTY?
@@toasterhavingabath6980 I mean, you're not sad anymore, so it worked
@@meowkittymeowmeow2786 Can still be sad and angry at the same time. Comes a little too easy with trauma.
6:30 That person’s right…ambulances are NOT taxis……usually, taxis are cheaper.
Me: Absolutely sobbing in my seat
My therapist: *And how does that make you feel*
Lately when I cry that hard, it's because I'm mad. Whether it's at myself or someone else is another matter (it's usually both though).
They do that to confuse you, which calms you down
@@demothiguillermo2059No it fucking doesn't, if I am at that point of being unable to hold back my emotions.
Really glad I haven't had any of my therapists in recent years pull this with me. I don't mean to be a dick, but this is a tactic that would borderline come across as insulting to me.
@@Daelyah That's kinda the point. It's meant to be so fucking insane your brain stops making you sad and just goes "what the actual fuck" for a moment.
@@nerd_nato564
Aye, 3 therapists tried that shit on me and by doing so sent me into so much worse of a spiral that i needed to be held down and medicated to even be able to provess words again
It's a stupid tactic
To be fair, the children working the diamond mines could be counted as a renewable resource of sorts.
I mean, you're not _wrong._
Bros thinking millions of years into the future, cool 👍
Ah yes. Child Labor! Truly the sustainable resource of the future.
Well, they are biodegradable :)
True
15:01 this caused actual psychological damage. Like a god damn Pokémon move. PLEASE, bury me deep.
"Agaggagagag SpongeBob me girl we need to add "meatflaps and sausage" to the menu"
"Get those little piggies wiggling" is easily in the top 5 worst things you have ever said
14:52 A domesticated pirate... you mean a Privateer?
Nonono it's a corsair.
A Pirate is a stray Privateer
Futapatty lmao
10:19 That's how Julia Drawfee would draw a front facing horse from memory, egg horse!!!
Omg it's even an egg, she loves egg
A fellow Drawfee fan, I see you are cultured as well.
Also, 🥚🐎
JACOB HORSE
Julia egg horse vs. a Jacob horse. Best horse image ever.
The contrast between the first and last posts is ASTOUNDING and I shall never recover 👍
i dont even understand what this subreddit is supposed to be
@@gee3591 its basically R/norules but memes
ohh okay, ty
@@mercuryrising9758
Welcome to the internet, have a look around
@@tjtheknowledgeseeker7878 Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found
11:08 I've been taking meds for 10 years and never thought of that. This is aboutta be a lifesaver gotta speedrun finishing a 4k word paper, doing a whole 1200 word paper, and a 2400 musical analysis 😀🫠
9:45 I feel this medieval artist's PAIN!! Drawing horses on the side? Fine. From the... front? Noooooo...... cannot!! This was a problem for me even when I did MLP art back in the day!!
9:42 Ah, yes.
The Imperial Officer choice.
N Yatzee clothes spraypainted, basically.
They're some wear and tear away to be serving in Stalingrad
12:13 I wouldn't want to wait this table, but seeing these people all at the same table just might be worth $10 million by itself as they devour each other.
All the cringey things they say that could be posted to reddit for Oz & us to laughingly suffer through... I mean, that would be pretty dope. But I'd still take the $10 mil.
WOOOP WOOP ITS THE OZ ALARM!!!
This is the consistent posting we been craving for! We love it dude!
I was born with IPad Baby brain….
YOOO ME TOO
Same bro
Yoooooo samez
A proot with iPad baby brain? Hmmm checks out
the 1920's doctors were right.
you have ghosts in your blood that demand movement, you should do meth about it.
10:34 Welcome... to the Velvet Room.
Velvet, oh velvet. My master has a long nose.
Hey I'd like to amalgamate my personas, thanks
I am not signing your goddamn contract I DONT WANT TO BE THE CHOSEN ONE
@@LocalTiredArtistFIGHT THE GOD DAMN IT
@@tristanraine HES ALREADY TRYING TO FIGHT ME
8:50 Im not 100% confident in this information, but if I remember correctly the main cast of Starship Troopers were picked out to be good looking *specifically* because it helped imitate the feeling of the movie being propaganda. Like, seriously man, you're literally falling into the only pitfall and there was a cartoonish warning sign next to it.
IIRC, Rico was originally Filipino. Verhoeven made turned him white to make the satire work. But ended up failing miserably.
Yes! The emotionally chaotic opossum now graces us with his presence on the reg again!
It’s all fun and games until the silverback finds you during mating season and “in the jungle” starts playing
OH NO
*_Dear god._*
Never think again
A very select few... Jokes on you I'm into that!
@@alexn5743 The fact I know someone who would say that...
12:50 the only thing you would learn from that table is how disappointed they are they don’t have a female waiter
Oz would be amazing at doing WizardPosting
He would do numbers on wizard tumblr
12:55 How are we gonna acknowledge Ben Shapiro's teeth but not the fact that he's sitting next to Abraham fucking Lincoln?
Exactly! Why is he here? I am under the impression that he would despise every other person at that table!
@hopethewolf3142 he actually probably wouldn't hate Trump. Pretty much every single word the left has spoken about him has been a lie(an avid Black Supporter in his heyday and the like dont believe me, you can find it if you search. Links never work for me). Granted, he probably would have choice words over his Twitter use during his presidency and definitely critiques over his wording on issues. In the same breath, he'd also deck the trafficker in the face and then chokeslam him into the table. The others? Honestly dont know how hard he'd be on Shapiro or Peterson
That first attempt at a pickup line would totally work on me.
1:08 the first 4 Mambas hate you, but you'll love Mamba number 5
I need a little Monica in my life!
10:53 my man looking like he bout to over charge me emeralds for a few pieces of iron XD
Nah, mans looking like he boutta ask me which Personas I wanna fuse...
You had me at "Redditors who inject spider eggs."
You lost me at “into their”
you had me again at testicles
So much oz content, my adhd tattered brain could not release more of the happy chemicals.
r/softwaregore is one subreddit i don't feel like i've seen enough love for
WOO!!! MORE OZ UPLOADS!
12:32 it's cause you get a chance to poison the meal
oz you honor us with this many videos so close together
I was just diagnosed with iPad baby brain and I’m always doing the wrong thing while waiting for the meds to kick in. Good news is: the vacuum has been thoroughly disinfected, all the lightbulbs in the house have been replaced, and you could set your watch with my FLAWLESS lawn
Shark rays will simply look like shark sized sting rays with sharp teeth
I'm so addicted to Oz's vids, i came in 5 minutes within him posting.
@HonestLettuce Well, I really hope that you washed your hands and wiped clean any residue.
Did you… did you mean to say it like that😭😵💫
@@graeme2418 Nahh, i prefer to lick it off like icing. Recycle, don't bin it.
@HonestLettuce 🤮
@@Mr.BusinessGhost Yes.
I've always loved the argument that "sTaRsHiP tRoOpUrZ aM nOtZeEz BeKuZ uNeEfOrMz SkAr-Ee!!!" just because Neil Patrick Harris was wearing Hugo Boss. All it ends up saying is that "fash" is short for "fashionable."
That ADHD tip is so true. That’s why I never get any work done. I’m gaming when the meds hit.
It’s sad
oz's voice makes them so much funnier.
10:06 is just the medieval version of Honse, prove me wrong.
12:40 Does serving that table come with full immunity? Asking for a friend.
3:30 nothing makes you feel more racist than dismissing baby babble and having it be a broken language you dont know 💀 i had this problem with my Syrian neighbors and their little girl.
The funniest thing is stingrays and sharks are still so closely related that they are actual species of shark rays
So! Fun thing about the mambas! They're highly aggressive!!! If you choose the mambas you're getting hunted either way ❤
And gorillas are normally pretty peaceful
OZ YOURE AMAZING PLEASE KEEP MAKING CONTENT
12:15 Joe Rogan looks like he said something under his breath, the others took notice and he is fumbling on how to continue the conversation.
That last one just reminded me of that one "Hooked" ad, where a girl is texting her scientist mom about this weird, large mole(?) that she has. Her mom warns her not to touch it until she gets home so the mom can properly look at it, but oops! The daughter has poked it with a needle, and a bunch of black dots come out of it. What are those black dots? Baby spiders, of course! Cue the daughter freaking out, and before the ad ends the Mom starts that classic "There's something I've been meaning to tell you..." life-flipping explanation.
For context, "Hooked" is an old mobile app filled with nail-biting thriller stories in the form of texting stories, at least as far as I'm aware from remembering ads from like 5+ years ago that I repressed to the best of my ability because they freaked me out. No clue if the app still exists
Oh my god that’s a Memory and now I need to go look for it to see if it still exists
IS NOBODY GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT LAST POST I MEAN WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT
Please we've all agreed to just not talk about it
Thank you ozz for that traumatic moment… 15:01
15:18 I was eating thanks
12:15 the guy in the top right looks like he forgot who he is.
About the diamond post, if I recall correctly, a diamond mining and refining company predicted that peak diamond production will be reached by 2005 and then production will decrease due to the increasing smaller amounts of diamond mines that are big enough to be profitable, I might add the link once I wake up tomorrow, but I would suggest you look it up yourself if your interested
8:01 way to play into the stereotype there old boi, well done playing into the stereotype
14:36 My whole entire takeaway from this post is, "Wait, so if a Mystery Shack employee came out as trans, how would Stan Pines react??
8:20 funny, I can tell they’re trying to say something, but all I can decypher is “oink oink” over and over
12:45
Only person I would try to talk and still fail would be Lincoln, if that is lincoln
BLESSED BE OUR SOULS
15:10 someone gave this a wholesome award
Two people
TWO
Of course someone gave it a wholesome how many times have you seen an absolutely fucked post without one, those fucktards would wholesome award Garfield x Jon Arbuckle erotica
Let’s hope it’s satire…yes
I love that the last post presents it as something really normal that people are known to do
"domesticated pirate"
You don't have a pet Pirate?
@@something1600 no, i have a pet clown like a normal person
12:45 I’d probably wait the table, I can imagine somehow tricking them into making my tip a bidding war of who can show off the most and walk away with more than 10 million
“Get those piggies wiggling” sounded less like a suggestion and more like a command
14:03 nah, the 2017 one feels like cyberpunk
Ever time I see that Oz has posted and I get pleasantly surprised
We love you oz, thank you for blessing us with the videos! Keep fighting! :)
The day before I took my ADHD meds for the first time I got into drawing butterfly tattoos. It's been over two weeks now and I can't stop, sometimes all I think about are butterfly tattoos! Constantly rethinking designs and drawing them all over myself and everything else! I don't even want a butterfly tattoo but I can't stop!
My fondest memory of Starship Troopers was watching with my brother when we were like 15 and at the scene were the drill sargent throws a knife at some guys hand and calls for a medic but we'd rewatch the scene in the different audio tracks recorded for the movie and laughing ourselves stupid.
The best one was Spanish where he yells out MEDICOOO. Still makes us laugh to this day.
10:37 blud looks like he lives in a very blue room
3:04 I can only guess this was when he was watching the movie for the 50 Shades Film Theory
that uh...wadhouse guy.......really bringing a whole new literal meaning to the phrase "brown-nosing" 🤣😂
oz having adhd makes so much sense. he is one of us now.
I'm very glad to see you back Oz
We’re getting blessed with all these uploads!
I get massively debilitating migraines, but you always help me forget the pain. Humor is the best medicine, and your memes are by far superior to all other channels. Thanks, Oz. You the best doctor Ive had...
so for the stingray pregnancy one, it’ll be the first option, aka jesus stingray! female elasmobranchs (sharks, rays, and skates) can reproduce through parthenogenesis when there’s a lack of viable partners; since it was an all-female enclosure (for lack of better phrasing), this would have happened here. it’s a technique used in the wild to help extend populations, though it comes at the cost of reduced genetic diversity.
source: i’m a marine biologist and elasmobranchs are my favourite (non-bird) marine creature to talk about.
10:37 bro looks like Dr. Doofenshmertz
The "dog dog" post legitimately made me realise that my life could be a whole lot worse than it is. Thanks Oz
2:37 Sadly, stingrays can reproduce on their own, so no there is no sharkrays
3:54 .... Waldo has something on his face. Is he crying? Is it bird poop? Or is it... uh, yeah, not finishing that one.