Does anybody else see the growth? They used to talk over each other when they werent in agreement 😂 Now they wait patiently for the other to finish their point ❤
So the status has to change for the wife alone, not for both of them abatshati? As if he wanted to put a stop to the lady's social life to continue his own! ha bhuti changes have to be in both parties yhuuuuu..... attraction izoba khona nakuwe .... Both of you must change qha qwaba!
Communication is key, I agree with Nozi. What happens to the wife must happen to the husband. It can't be that she is the one to change he must change also.
I'm team Nozi in this case, we can't work on assumptions AT ALL. We need to communicate our expectations because what is common sense to one person is not common sense to everyone.
Expectations are poisonous in a marriage...... considering that we come from different backgrounds,cultures and so forth.......I believe before marriage you need to communicate your expectations or adjustments that need to be done .....don't expect your partner to know what you consider as a "husband" or "wife".
What Skhu said really hits home. My ex is my ex right now cos he said some things that gave me a picture of how the future will look like with him because of the things he said unaware that I'm listening with an ear of "ok so is this the kind of husband you gonna be?". It scared me cos I saw myself being a very miserable wife. But I guess what Skhu is saying is that that was an opportunity for me to tell him how I see things and offer him a choice in choosing to stick with his own views or mine or compromise from both sides. Problem with that is that I will only know if he's views have changed once I'm already married to him cos obviously he'll promise whatever to keep you, and by that time it's too late, you already married...
You are right Nozi, in relationships you can't work with assumptions. I once had a partner who would say, "I gave you a hint". And my question would always be, why hint instead of talking to me.
hay shem i agree with sis Nozi, the way you are being single or relationship izofana even when u are married it will take huge amount of time changing that mentality yho
I agree, our culture to some extent does not cater for the needs of a woman, and this reminds me of the importance of empathy, learn to put yourself in someone's shoes .....if u don't want a grooving wife or husband, don't do it as well
All i can say is Communication! Communication! Communication! Bethuna communicate your expectations. We have different upbringings, we grew up in different homes. Ingqeqesho is different. I love the topic ❤❤and i love you guys so much❤❤
I just got into the video and this was the first comment I see. I just wanted to say I agree with you 💯 @Mapule Madi , and to add on- nobody can actually change their partner. Only God and the person in particular can change themselves. 🩶 The sooner we all get this the better for everyone.
akekho umuntu ongashinsheki unless akekho ready for umshado your pride with your parner you better take it away and nizame ukuphilisana unless ubuzele i dirvorce nemali ngeke umshintshele umuntu wakho vele finish ngema lapho.
@@arsenal117sos change is easy when you find someone who loves you as much as you love them. Personally I had things I said I will never do for a guy so one day I met someone who loves and respect me so much I changed, things I said I will never do for aGuy I do them without being asked.
How about we stop compromising and collaborate? It's 2023 bathong, dynamics have changed. There are too many expectations for the black women... like there is nothing desirable about such. Sometimes I feel like some guys cannot handle today's girls-soze kaloku. Love your take on this 🎉 this topic needs to be a whole series, please invite abantu from different age groups, races, etc
It's so nice to see how well they listen to each other's points. I think we shouldn't look at things from the position of - a woman or man SHOULD behave in this way or that way BUT rather how certain behaviours contribute or harm a relationship. Coming into marriage with the aim to change someone has potential to cause unhappiness, maybe it's best to discuss one's expectations and deal breakers before marriage. Marriage can be hard work, it can get even harder when people put rules or have expectations that were never discussed. Marriage is more than just love, the feeling is not the only thing that will make marriage work.
These actually reminds me of a conversation I had with my cousin and his marriage, that when in the dating stage men flash. Spending money on her left, right, an center now in a marriage he's complaining that she's draining him but that's how it was in the beginning and that's how she saw her future would be.
Listening to this, I had a lot of thoughts going on my mind. Im with Nozi with this one. I never understand how, in any relationship, a person expects the other person to give something they are not willing to give. Like, you hear men say, women dont respect them. But do you respect her though???? Yah, I have a lot to say about this conversation and some uncomfortable views too. Another question i had in my mind was, when this husband asked his wife not to go clubbing, was it his own request or he was trying to fit in with his friends. Phela we know that guys talk and probably there was a comparison of his wife to his friend's wives. And wabona that hhayi, his friends wife never go clubbing therefore, his wife must stop too so that he "fits in" in with his friends. There are external opinions on this matter yati coz why would he marry someone he knew loves clubbing then expect her to change unless there was a conversation he had with other people who had an opinion about his situation???🤔 What has changed now????
This man doesn't trust his wife. He doesn't trust she's responsible enough to go out to just have fun or he knows what he does whenever he goes out with the "boys". So he just needs to work on himself. He got her ko groove and she deserve to be trusted and respected enough to know that respects herself and her marriage enough to go have fun with friends and come back home. the man must just get over his insecurities and let his wife have fun.
I totally agree with Nozi. This man is totally immature and insecure in my opinion. If I have to stop going to groove, where our relationship was initiated, just to please your insecurities as a man then hai clearly the relationship won’t last because already it’s built on a rocky foundation. There is no trust.
When a couple reaches a level where they are thinking of taking their relationship to a marriage stage, I feel spending as much time with your partner helps builds a more indepth understand of them. That's why I believe living with your partner or spending considerable amount of time in their space before getting married plays a role in knowing them better to such as an extent that assumption and expectations can be cleared out. This is my personal opinion on the matter. Thank you sis Nozi nobhut Skhu for another educational and entertaining video ❤
Team Nozi on this 1.... yhuuu soze klk why does it seem like abafazi bakhaphe amadoda/abayeni kulomhlaba kaBawo to make men's life easy nje qha? What is a helper kanti= a person who helps you to do things together that you ready know how to do by yourself
You guys are so adorable and I go back to the reality show video and I see y you turned it down,I feel these kinds of conversations would not be genuine to you and it would feel orchestrated, I love how effortless you guys make it and how real you are it's just beautiful
Mna shem I feel like iiGuys they like feeling like they've got some control over their wives. Sometimes it's insecurities. Sometimes it's influenced by religion.
Pre marital counselling is very important so that issues like these can be addressed prior. Then, you will know early if this marriage is for you or not. Skhu you have a very gorgeous wife 😅😊
I honestly think that we mistake the necessity for growth within ourselves now that we are married to, change. And this is where the "Status update" takes root. We shouldn't be looking at people changing, because then we are asking for the character we fell in love to, to also change. However, we should be looking at continuous growth which does not happen overnight but is influenced by what/who we associate ourselves with, what we are exposed to or expose ourselves to as well as the environments we engage in. From my perspective, this is where they met and enjoyed together while dating, what stops them from still doing it together now that they are married slowly but surely things will start taking a shift for both of them in terms of their growth. As said by Mr Mayaba, izoqala ukubanukela bobabini...Loved the topic
Ucinga Isidoda taka kaGT which you are but phuma pha sana because that thinking is for someone who wants to control umntu ongumama. I’m with uNozi shame - if we are stopping let’s stop together ( masiphume kulanto yoba abafazi mabacinezeleke by told how to wear, where to go where as indoda ifumaneka all over the place with no conditions)
I appreciate that Skhu acknowledges the fact that men have been socialized this way. I hope we can all acknowledge that this kind of socialization is not fair. Men however need not just capitalize on these cultural and social expectations. Back to the question at hand. They either both party on or both stop, for me its that simple.
This topic is sensitive, just reminded me of a marriage that ended within a year, and a million rand was spent in that marriage and the wedding dress costs R120k each, flowers to the value of R40k Baw and u wife was busy clubbing come home around 3am in the morning and hubby complained that all I wanted was a wife, I didn't marry you for this expensive lifestyle of yours to impress your friends in this TV show yenu. Jhu ndandine worry yilandoda xeim. Mnk and usisi didn't show any remorse like akaziboni emmoshile umyeni wakhe. Anyway waphela lomtshato
Skhu, you had me at ukoxuthwa kwetiti! 😂😂😂😂😂😂⚰️ On a serious note though, I think one should communicate their expectations kwa before kutshatwe so that we understand if we're on the same page or not. That being said, I totally agree with Skhu's view that these changes ought to be introduced in phases.
Love the point bhut Skhu raised. Change is a process....especially when someone was used to something...you can't expect them to change within in a second. But most of us fail to be patient during that process
The problem with relationships is that woman are expected to submit to patriarchal ideals that were set by men decades ago. Times have changed and communication is key especially to align the expectations of the relationship with each other. Cheating occurs anywhere at anytime and under any circumstances. The driver of cheating is the willingness to do so. remaining true to who you are is one of the key ingredients to happiness. However, relationships work if we work together, it is important to understand why people behave the way the do in order to make informed decisions regarding dealing with specific issues
the view that women have to reduce themselves due to the change of marital status has patriarchy written all over it. if we use the generation into which one is born as the anchor to side to the argument, that is encouraging the perpetuation of the toxicity that people are currently trying to change.
This all sounds like a double standard to me. Unfortunately, as Skhu said it's an accepted discrepency in the order of life based on how things used to be. Good discussion point though. I wonder when we will truly be equals?
I honestly understand what uBhutSkhu is saying that he should have gradually ushered her into changing into the kind of wife he wants. But I also believe that if she wants the marriage to work she must be able to compromise on somethings. Like groove is something so light and can't be detrimental to their marriage, however if he was asking her maybe to leave her career, etc things that are "serious" matters can be something she doesn't want to let go of. In essence what I am saying is that she should sit down and understand if her going to groove can be an issue that affects her marriage. Also SisNozi I understand that naye uBhuti must not expect the change on only be on the wife's end, but should also change his ways
Mna ndithi "A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands." Proverbs 14:1 so usisi has the responsibility to build if anyone should start ukubuyisa unyawo ngusisi.🙏
So is it the wormen only that are meant to "build"... Marriage is between 2 ppl, meaning both husband and wife should work together in building this "happy home"
I admire how Bhuti Skhu put out his facts, n he says them in the most opening eye we sometimes ignore as ladies... Thanks sis Nozibele & Bhuti Skhu for this couple conversations videos they are very helpful❤️🙏
Nozi is right in this case. If you're getting in a relationship and expecting somebody to change at a point then you shouldn't be in that relationship otherwise you'll end up angry and frustrated. This is why it's important to marry your type because if my understanding is if you found me in groove then you know I'll still be going to groove afterwards so it doesn't make sense to expect anything else. It's fair to say that some people go to groove because they're looking for partners but others just go because they want to so that's not a fair analysis in my opinion.
I feel like Skhu's plan was to confuse us so much we even forget the topic.....at some point he even repeated what Nozi had said when initially he had disagreed with it😂😂😂😂😂😂. Truth of the matter is, things like these should be discussed before getting married and I fully agree with Nozi. Imagine marrying me, impregnating me and then leaving me with your kids frequently almost all night to go clubbing with the boys when the initial idea of clubbing is to pick up girls. No ways!
This just goes with beliefs, religion, tradition these two parties believe on. Also their willingness to meet each other half way, by considering each others views and conversating about the issue they are facing.
Its sad how ezinye zinto are expected to change only for the woman and not the guy. Hay shem as a married woman I feel its unfair, what goes for hubby should go for me as well. Also these changes or expectations should be discussed prior to marriage.
I am in agreement with Nozi on this one. These people met e groovin, why now ubhuti ene problem with her going. Maybe ubhuti should have gone for someone azodibana naye ecaweni.
This conversation has put perspective to too many things .@Skhu I like how u put emphasis on you become the change first in order to influence the other. In fact I like how the conversation is outward thinking as ur viewers there r points we picking up. Ndikule yoba unamehlo,nendlebe nengqondo, awuzuxelelwa yonke into le.
Hi Lovies❤️ I actually love the topic and as I'm watching and listening I'm discovering that you both right but I also believe that if one one of you decides that there's a need for change it has to start with you portraying or making it a norm for that particular choice because you can't expect change without you changing or compromising first, at the end of the day is women are adjusting beings by nature depending on the environment we are being given or put in, it all comes down to compromise from both parties and let it come naturally for both... manner of approach is very important.
I'm gonna have to agree with uncle Skhu these 2 should have sat down and communicated the new setup which is marriage given they both know where they met . Yes the society is harsh on ladies more but I feel like communication goes a very long way especially when transitioning from dating to marriage irregardless of where we met .... My 2 cents 😊 38:2238:25
Why does it have to be the woman who has yo change in a marriage? You've found in tarven wils and all then you want to tame me. I like it when bhuti Skhu says change should be progressive and you model the change you want to see. Love you guyz ❤❤
But there has to be some change honestly, from parties. We cannot run away from that. You were living your life individually,then now you are in a union, obviously you have to adjust to some things. That's change. You now have new goals, new responsibilities so a change is certain,however, both parties must come to the party
In my view, you can't build a home with someone who is a grooviest, especially on the woman's part with that doesn't mean that you can't have fun. As men too we need to be good models who aspire to the change we want our significant other to be.
This is an Expectation on a one sided shame and it's complicates izinto between the two party,but it depends on both parties on how they deal with the expectations
I agree with Skhu..... I hear you Nozi both should change kalok plus it's important to talk about these conversations before marriage to play fair.... Just wanted to add nathi as women we have expectations morc from men masingacindezeleki sodwa....
Is there a way we could please have English sub- titles? I am enjoying the convo and would like to get the full gist. I'm from Uganda and there are some words I understand, but some I'm guessing...I would like to understand it all😊...thank you so much for always having interesting, funny and insightful discussions ❤️
Ja me too I'm just enjoying the couples but don't understand anything in their language but the English part is nice cause they are talking about the dressing code or going to club s when you're married ❤❤❤
True. Even when I saw a clip on her IG I was a bit discouraged to watch but looking at the topic I thought of giving it a try. Well.... I did not get much😢😂. The struggle is real.
This is a tough one really coz they are both groovist. If they did not change their ways whilst they were still dating, it will be difficult to do so now unless they are both ready to talk about it and at least reduce not stop. You might even find ba maybe usisi is grooving nje because ubhuti hasn't stopped either uthetha nje ngomlomo. I loved the convo Nozi!
Looking good Momma definitely the make up didn't go to waste. But I believe expectations must be communicated its unfair that most rules apply to ladies rather than man. #Notificationgang #noskippingadsgang
Heee😂Yaz I like this convo. Mna in my view is that xanithandana and I relationship ingathi iba serious that's where both the couple have to talk it out and say listen here if u want to marry me this is what u will get from me
Mna I have a couple concerns.Girls are brought up being taught how to become a responsible woman and ultimately a good wife Boys zona no one teaches them to be husbands and responsibility men Can we please just work on this as married people because this is part of the reason this guy thinks he can continue with their lifestyle prior to marriage because he doesn’t have responsibilities Yena ugirl must stay at home and be a wife. What on earth is that? While yena he must go to igruv You probably find out they have kids later on and uguy doesn’t give up his fun while yena she has to see to his home ba all is taken care of because unomfazi . ha ana guys ,stop it.
Does anybody else see the growth? They used to talk over each other when they werent in agreement 😂 Now they wait patiently for the other to finish their point ❤
Yes I can see and it's beautiful to watch
Yes yes
So the status has to change for the wife alone, not for both of them abatshati? As if he wanted to put a stop to the lady's social life to continue his own! ha bhuti changes have to be in both parties yhuuuuu..... attraction izoba khona nakuwe .... Both of you must change qha qwaba!
Communication is key, I agree with Nozi. What happens to the wife must happen to the husband. It can't be that she is the one to change he must change also.
I'm team Nozi in this case, we can't work on assumptions AT ALL. We need to communicate our expectations because what is common sense to one person is not common sense to everyone.
Expectations are poisonous in a marriage...... considering that we come from different backgrounds,cultures and so forth.......I believe before marriage you need to communicate your expectations or adjustments that need to be done .....don't expect your partner to know what you consider as a "husband" or "wife".
💯
❤
Nailed it
To us who ain't married, we are learning a lot from you guys hleee ❤❤
and he is cooking also siyamubona ubafo sbonge ngezenzo ezinhle this chinnel gonna benefit both of them bayawakha umshado wabo god will bless them.
What Skhu said really hits home. My ex is my ex right now cos he said some things that gave me a picture of how the future will look like with him because of the things he said unaware that I'm listening with an ear of "ok so is this the kind of husband you gonna be?". It scared me cos I saw myself being a very miserable wife. But I guess what Skhu is saying is that that was an opportunity for me to tell him how I see things and offer him a choice in choosing to stick with his own views or mine or compromise from both sides. Problem with that is that I will only know if he's views have changed once I'm already married to him cos obviously he'll promise whatever to keep you, and by that time it's too late, you already married...
Adults hardly change, unless they decide to🤞
Facts
I also believe people don't change instead they show their true colours - good or bad, as you get to know them.
Uncle Skhu won this debate the moment he said medulla oblongata 🤣🤣🤣🤣 but deep down I’m with Sis Nozi ❤️
Team Mrs Mayaba🥰
😂😂😂😂
You are right Nozi, in relationships you can't work with assumptions. I once had a partner who would say, "I gave you a hint". And my question would always be, why hint instead of talking to me.
Marriage doesn’t change us. We decide to invite people’s expectations and opinions into our marriage and that messes things up!!
hay shem i agree with sis Nozi, the way you are being single or relationship izofana even when u are married it will take huge amount of time changing that mentality yho
What applies to the wife must apply to the husband qha ke qwaba. The culture yabantu abamnyama is soooo oppressive to women
I agree, our culture to some extent does not cater for the needs of a woman, and this reminds me of the importance of empathy, learn to put yourself in someone's shoes .....if u don't want a grooving wife or husband, don't do it as well
You know what Nozi, in most cases the expectations of the husband for his wife to change is caused by insecurities and lack of trust.
And kaloku that lack of trust is because they know as men their own intentions of going to the clubs and things are mischievous
Nozi’s makeup is so beautiful🥹😍futhi i’quality ya le’video is the one 👏🏾👏🏾
All i can say is Communication! Communication! Communication!
Bethuna communicate your expectations. We have different upbringings, we grew up in different homes. Ingqeqesho is different.
I love the topic ❤❤and i love you guys so much❤❤
Marriage or not I don’t agree with anyone trying to change their partner 🙃 more especially because they met at groove.
I just got into the video and this was the first comment I see. I just wanted to say I agree with you 💯 @Mapule Madi , and to add on- nobody can actually change their partner. Only God and the person in particular can change themselves. 🩶
The sooner we all get this the better for everyone.
akekho umuntu ongashinsheki unless akekho ready for umshado your pride with your parner you better take it away and nizame ukuphilisana unless ubuzele i dirvorce nemali ngeke umshintshele umuntu wakho vele finish ngema lapho.
@@arsenal117sos change is easy when you find someone who loves you as much as you love them. Personally I had things I said I will never do for a guy so one day I met someone who loves and respect me so much I changed, things I said I will never do for aGuy I do them without being asked.
How about we stop compromising and collaborate? It's 2023 bathong, dynamics have changed. There are too many expectations for the black women... like there is nothing desirable about such. Sometimes I feel like some guys cannot handle today's girls-soze kaloku. Love your take on this 🎉 this topic needs to be a whole series, please invite abantu from different age groups, races, etc
Sorry Uncle Skhu. For the first time I agree with Nozi
You are slaying mama kaGT❤🔥🔥🔥💯
It's so nice to see how well they listen to each other's points. I think we shouldn't look at things from the position of - a woman or man SHOULD behave in this way or that way BUT rather how certain behaviours contribute or harm a relationship. Coming into marriage with the aim to change someone has potential to cause unhappiness, maybe it's best to discuss one's expectations and deal breakers before marriage. Marriage can be hard work, it can get even harder when people put rules or have expectations that were never discussed. Marriage is more than just love, the feeling is not the only thing that will make marriage work.
These actually reminds me of a conversation I had with my cousin and his marriage, that when in the dating stage men flash. Spending money on her left, right, an center now in a marriage he's complaining that she's draining him but that's how it was in the beginning and that's how she saw her future would be.
Listening to this, I had a lot of thoughts going on my mind. Im with Nozi with this one. I never understand how, in any relationship, a person expects the other person to give something they are not willing to give. Like, you hear men say, women dont respect them. But do you respect her though???? Yah, I have a lot to say about this conversation and some uncomfortable views too. Another question i had in my mind was, when this husband asked his wife not to go clubbing, was it his own request or he was trying to fit in with his friends. Phela we know that guys talk and probably there was a comparison of his wife to his friend's wives. And wabona that hhayi, his friends wife never go clubbing therefore, his wife must stop too so that he "fits in" in with his friends. There are external opinions on this matter yati coz why would he marry someone he knew loves clubbing then expect her to change unless there was a conversation he had with other people who had an opinion about his situation???🤔 What has changed now????
Yoh guys the pregnancy is rubbing off on skhu.Yoh uya glow😅🎉
I thought I was seeing that alone 😂👌🏿
True🥰🎉
I was about to say Skhu is using sisNozi’s lotion 😂😂😂
@@mellisancube2790 welele 😂
This man doesn't trust his wife. He doesn't trust she's responsible enough to go out to just have fun or he knows what he does whenever he goes out with the "boys". So he just needs to work on himself. He got her ko groove and she deserve to be trusted and respected enough to know that respects herself and her marriage enough to go have fun with friends and come back home. the man must just get over his insecurities and let his wife have fun.
Agreed!
I totally agree with Nozi. This man is totally immature and insecure in my opinion. If I have to stop going to groove, where our relationship was initiated, just to please your insecurities as a man then hai clearly the relationship won’t last because already it’s built on a rocky foundation. There is no trust.
@@just_zahr why should she trust him when he doesn't trust her.
When a couple reaches a level where they are thinking of taking their relationship to a marriage stage, I feel spending as much time with your partner helps builds a more indepth understand of them. That's why I believe living with your partner or spending considerable amount of time in their space before getting married plays a role in knowing them better to such as an extent that assumption and expectations can be cleared out. This is my personal opinion on the matter. Thank you sis Nozi nobhut Skhu for another educational and entertaining video ❤
Team Nozi on this 1.... yhuuu soze klk why does it seem like abafazi bakhaphe amadoda/abayeni kulomhlaba kaBawo to make men's life easy nje qha? What is a helper kanti= a person who helps you to do things together that you ready know how to do by yourself
GT’s aunt here💃🏾❤️❤️❤️❤️
Notification gang 💃🏾
You guys are so adorable and I go back to the reality show video and I see y you turned it down,I feel these kinds of conversations would not be genuine to you and it would feel orchestrated, I love how effortless you guys make it and how real you are it's just beautiful
Mna shem I feel like iiGuys they like feeling like they've got some control over their wives. Sometimes it's insecurities. Sometimes it's influenced by religion.
Pre marital counselling is very important so that issues like these can be addressed prior. Then, you will know early if this marriage is for you or not.
Skhu you have a very gorgeous wife 😅😊
True👏🏿🔥🔥🔥👏🏿
Period!
I'm team Nozi shame, status change should apply to both parties kalok not ku wife qha. Thank you guys cz nathi abangekayi we're learning apha👌👌❤️
I'm here to just remind everyone to watch the Ads🙏.
I honestly think that we mistake the necessity for growth within ourselves now that we are married to, change. And this is where the "Status update" takes root. We shouldn't be looking at people changing, because then we are asking for the character we fell in love to, to also change. However, we should be looking at continuous growth which does not happen overnight but is influenced by what/who we associate ourselves with, what we are exposed to or expose ourselves to as well as the environments we engage in. From my perspective, this is where they met and enjoyed together while dating, what stops them from still doing it together now that they are married slowly but surely things will start taking a shift for both of them in terms of their growth. As said by Mr Mayaba, izoqala ukubanukela bobabini...Loved the topic
Expectations should be communicated before asking for hand❤️❤️
The most genuine & authentic CZcamsrs out there. I love and appreciate your open and honest conversations ❤❤😍😍
💃💃💃I'm in, Waze wamuhle sisiNozi❤️
I’m not married, but here I am watching
Ucinga Isidoda taka kaGT which you are but phuma pha sana because that thinking is for someone who wants to control umntu ongumama. I’m with uNozi shame - if we are stopping let’s stop together ( masiphume kulanto yoba abafazi mabacinezeleke by told how to wear, where to go where as indoda ifumaneka all over the place with no conditions)
I appreciate that Skhu acknowledges the fact that men have been socialized this way. I hope we can all acknowledge that this kind of socialization is not fair. Men however need not just capitalize on these cultural and social expectations. Back to the question at hand. They either both party on or both stop, for me its that simple.
I love these conversations they are so informative 👏❤
This topic is sensitive, just reminded me of a marriage that ended within a year, and a million rand was spent in that marriage and the wedding dress costs R120k each, flowers to the value of R40k Baw and u wife was busy clubbing come home around 3am in the morning and hubby complained that all I wanted was a wife, I didn't marry you for this expensive lifestyle of yours to impress your friends in this TV show yenu. Jhu ndandine worry yilandoda xeim. Mnk and usisi didn't show any remorse like akaziboni emmoshile umyeni wakhe. Anyway waphela lomtshato
Skhu, you had me at ukoxuthwa kwetiti! 😂😂😂😂😂😂⚰️
On a serious note though, I think one should communicate their expectations kwa before kutshatwe so that we understand if we're on the same page or not. That being said, I totally agree with Skhu's view that these changes ought to be introduced in phases.
Love the point bhut Skhu raised. Change is a process....especially when someone was used to something...you can't expect them to change within in a second. But most of us fail to be patient during that process
The problem with relationships is that woman are expected to submit to patriarchal ideals that were set by men decades ago. Times have changed and communication is key especially to align the expectations of the relationship with each other. Cheating occurs anywhere at anytime and under any circumstances. The driver of cheating is the willingness to do so. remaining true to who you are is one of the key ingredients to happiness. However, relationships work if we work together, it is important to understand why people behave the way the do in order to make informed decisions regarding dealing with specific issues
I don’t normally comment but I’m 💯 % always rooting for you guys.This time I fully agree with Nozi 💖💖💙💙
We are learning, Very profound. Much love from 🇿🇼🇿🇼🇿🇼
the view that women have to reduce themselves due to the change of marital status has patriarchy written all over it. if we use the generation into which one is born as the anchor to side to the argument, that is encouraging the perpetuation of the toxicity that people are currently trying to change.
Siding with Sis Nozi on this one🙋🏾♀️🙋🏾♀️
This all sounds like a double standard to me. Unfortunately, as Skhu said it's an accepted discrepency in the order of life based on how things used to be. Good discussion point though. I wonder when we will truly be equals?
Pregnancy glow ku Skhu sana the skin is popping ❤😊
The love I have for you guys 😍😍 akumhle Nozi❤️❤️😘
I honestly understand what uBhutSkhu is saying that he should have gradually ushered her into changing into the kind of wife he wants. But I also believe that if she wants the marriage to work she must be able to compromise on somethings. Like groove is something so light and can't be detrimental to their marriage, however if he was asking her maybe to leave her career, etc things that are "serious" matters can be something she doesn't want to let go of. In essence what I am saying is that she should sit down and understand if her going to groove can be an issue that affects her marriage. Also SisNozi I understand that naye uBhuti must not expect the change on only be on the wife's end, but should also change his ways
Ewe Nozi I agree with you, nyani we can't work on assumptions because asicingi ngokufanayo💁
Mna ndithi "A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands." Proverbs 14:1 so usisi has the responsibility to build if anyone should start ukubuyisa unyawo ngusisi.🙏
A husband leads, that starts with actions.
So is it the wormen only that are meant to "build"... Marriage is between 2 ppl, meaning both husband and wife should work together in building this "happy home"
Team Nozi , I agree with everything you said .❤
I admire how Bhuti Skhu put out his facts, n he says them in the most opening eye we sometimes ignore as ladies... Thanks sis Nozibele & Bhuti Skhu for this couple conversations videos they are very helpful❤️🙏
What an interesting and a necessary conversation. I was shouting the whole time disagreeing with Skhu😂😂😂😂😂😂
Nozi is right in this case. If you're getting in a relationship and expecting somebody to change at a point then you shouldn't be in that relationship otherwise you'll end up angry and frustrated. This is why it's important to marry your type because if my understanding is if you found me in groove then you know I'll still be going to groove afterwards so it doesn't make sense to expect anything else. It's fair to say that some people go to groove because they're looking for partners but others just go because they want to so that's not a fair analysis in my opinion.
true
GT's Rents always on point 👌and learning a Lot from you. Much Love always💖😘🥰
I'm with Nozi on this one.
If you want me, as the wife, to change I think you, as my husband/man must lead by example and also change. It must be a partnership
Love you guys ❤❤, please put subtitles for us who didn't understand vernac 😢😢pleaseee😭😭😭
I feel like Skhu's plan was to confuse us so much we even forget the topic.....at some point he even repeated what Nozi had said when initially he had disagreed with it😂😂😂😂😂😂.
Truth of the matter is, things like these should be discussed before getting married and I fully agree with Nozi. Imagine marrying me, impregnating me and then leaving me with your kids frequently almost all night to go clubbing with the boys when the initial idea of clubbing is to pick up girls. No ways!
This just goes with beliefs, religion, tradition these two parties believe on. Also their willingness to meet each other half way, by considering each others views and conversating about the issue they are facing.
Nozi U have a point uygqibile Nozi for president
Its sad how ezinye zinto are expected to change only for the woman and not the guy. Hay shem as a married woman I feel its unfair, what goes for hubby should go for me as well.
Also these changes or expectations should be discussed prior to marriage.
I am in agreement with Nozi on this one. These people met e groovin, why now ubhuti ene problem with her going. Maybe ubhuti should have gone for someone azodibana naye ecaweni.
team nozi won for me this one
This conversation has put perspective to too many things .@Skhu I like how u put emphasis on you become the change first in order to influence the other. In fact I like how the conversation is outward thinking as ur viewers there r points we picking up. Ndikule yoba unamehlo,nendlebe nengqondo, awuzuxelelwa yonke into le.
Yho ndiyamthanda ubhuti Skhu. I love his insights nendlela acacisa ngayo izinto!!!
Hi Lovies❤️ I actually love the topic and as I'm watching and listening I'm discovering that you both right but I also believe that if one one of you decides that there's a need for change it has to start with you portraying or making it a norm for that particular choice because you can't expect change without you changing or compromising first, at the end of the day is women are adjusting beings by nature depending on the environment we are being given or put in, it all comes down to compromise from both parties and let it come naturally for both... manner of approach is very important.
If the husband expects the wife to stop going to groove, then naye he must also stop because he is no longer a bachelor.
GT is great on both of you guys, you are all glowing
Hei uGT ufake iglow sana kwi parents zakhe ❤️
Very insightful topic, got u clearly Nozi😍 👌
I'm gonna have to agree with uncle Skhu these 2 should have sat down and communicated the new setup which is marriage given they both know where they met . Yes the society is harsh on ladies more but I feel like communication goes a very long way especially when transitioning from dating to marriage irregardless of where we met ....
My 2 cents 😊 38:22 38:25
I agree with Sis Nozi. She won this one for me
Glow kuBhuti Skhu😊GT ufaka glow kwi parents zakhe❤️🎉🎉🥳🥳
Uyambona na uGT nge glow kwi parents zakhe!!!🥰
Why does it have to be the woman who has yo change in a marriage? You've found in tarven wils and all then you want to tame me. I like it when bhuti Skhu says change should be progressive and you model the change you want to see. Love you guyz ❤❤
But there has to be some change honestly, from parties. We cannot run away from that. You were living your life individually,then now you are in a union, obviously you have to adjust to some things. That's change. You now have new goals, new responsibilities so a change is certain,however, both parties must come to the party
The wisdom bhuti Skhu have👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽♥️
Team Nozi❤😊...please communicate your expectations......lonto oko uzithwele u strongo kwezi conversations 🤣🤣🤣
Lovely conversation guys, really appreciate it
It’s interesting how Skhu thinks…
Love and Light Nozi.
In my view, you can't build a home with someone who is a grooviest, especially on the woman's part with that doesn't mean that you can't have fun. As men too we need to be good models who aspire to the change we want our significant other to be.
This is an Expectation on a one sided shame and it's complicates izinto between the two party,but it depends on both parties on how they deal with the expectations
Ai ai you have won Skhura my friend makamele isimoko sakhe😂😂
I love you guys😍😍
I agree with Skhu.....
I hear you Nozi both should change kalok plus it's important to talk about these conversations before marriage to play fair....
Just wanted to add nathi as women we have expectations morc from men masingacindezeleki sodwa....
Is there a way we could please have English sub- titles? I am enjoying the convo and would like to get the full gist. I'm from Uganda and there are some words I understand, but some I'm guessing...I would like to understand it all😊...thank you so much for always having interesting, funny and insightful discussions ❤️
I was struggling too. It’s a very good conversation but I missed most of it.
Yeah subtitles would be good. Am Kenyan
Ja me too I'm just enjoying the couples but don't understand anything in their language but the English part is nice cause they are talking about the dressing code or going to club s when you're married ❤❤❤
I really feel for u guys.
Just wish one day they have an ear
True. Even when I saw a clip on her IG I was a bit discouraged to watch but looking at the topic I thought of giving it a try. Well.... I did not get much😢😂. The struggle is real.
This is a tough one really coz they are both groovist. If they did not change their ways whilst they were still dating, it will be difficult to do so now unless they are both ready to talk about it and at least reduce not stop. You might even find ba maybe usisi is grooving nje because ubhuti hasn't stopped either uthetha nje ngomlomo. I loved the convo Nozi!
Looking good Momma definitely the make up didn't go to waste.
But I believe expectations must be communicated its unfair that most rules apply to ladies rather than man.
#Notificationgang #noskippingadsgang
Heee😂Yaz I like this convo. Mna in my view is that xanithandana and I relationship ingathi iba serious that's where both the couple have to talk it out and say listen here if u want to marry me this is what u will get from me
I am loving this conversation
🤣🤣🤣Hey uqine enyaleni nyani Bhut Skhu yhuu!!
I guess imitshato is just to benefit and serve men qha. Fanba lokucingela umntu ongakucingeliyo and ongathethiyo.
I agree with Nozi.
Mr Mayaba injayam, Mrs Mayaba I was so impressed by how patiently you allowed uBhuti Skhu to make his points
Mna I have a couple concerns.Girls are brought up being taught how to become a responsible woman and ultimately a good wife
Boys zona no one teaches them to be husbands and responsibility men
Can we please just work on this as married people because this is part of the reason this guy thinks he can continue with their lifestyle prior to marriage because he doesn’t have responsibilities
Yena ugirl must stay at home and be a wife. What on earth is that? While yena he must go to igruv
You probably find out they have kids later on and uguy doesn’t give up his fun while yena she has to see to his home ba all is taken care of because unomfazi . ha ana guys ,stop it.
This is what I also fail to understand.... It's really concerning
And married women are expected to behave in a certain manner...yet husbands continue to go on with their life's as normal with no judgement
loved it soo much!! very informative ndimane ndi pause and discuss with my boyfriend. Communication is the key ALWAYS.
You look great ses Nozi, kindly do a make up tutorial for that amazing look for us.
Yoh Mama Ka GT guys ❤❤❤❤
Lovely conversation topic...marriage values and principles are different from your dating couple.