My marriage therapist was the first to tell me the same , that I was likely married to a narcissist. I still see her to this day and she is one who ‘gets it’
Wow finally someone who understands!!!! I went through years of trying to stay away from my abuser only for him to drag me through family court system to see his kids and find me in contempt two teens didn’t want to go with him and the judge or me in jail for this three times!!! 3 months to go before my youngest turns 18 so I’m almost out of it! He failed drug tests judge didn’t seemed to care…even laughed about it!!!! I’m writing a book on my case to show people that this family court corruption is real!!! It’s disgusting and my believe is it’s the devil’s playground! Pray for laws to change to protect the victims and their children!!!
Oh, I had to stop at the 23:08 mark to cry, cuz it was like a rod in my chest hearing my story. Feeling like a prisoner for sure, with a completely clean record. Just PTSD. Not giving up. March 3rd Boulder County if anyone can come! 😭 This video is so perfectly thorough Tina, thank you!
I just got through this mess, 20 months fighting narc in court, 85k on court fees, false accusations against me, bullying harassment from exs narcissist Attorney, trying to sabatosh me while ex got away quitting his job to not pay child support, working under the table, fraud, gambling, abandonment. I believe the court systems are full of narcissist too. I filed a complaint with the Bar Association because ex narcs Attorney was practicing very unethical, putting my children's safety in jeapody,, she twisted my words, the state bar has not done a single thing.
What I get from this is that resistance is futile. I’m in pain watching my son be in pain, but the Mother is the preferred parent. She has my child calling other people Daddy, and no one cares. I asked CPS to make us a CHINS case, and they refused. No one will help.’ All we can do is help our kids cope. That’s it. They do the damage. We clean up the mess. This is the way.
Hi, I'm based in Europe, with a different context than in the US but your newsletter and your videos have helped me so much to go through this. Thank you for your amazing work.
I'm 7+ years deep into my situation (finalized the divorce almost 3 years ago, finally), and it has blown me away how much the N uses the court system to further the abuse, especially with unlimited financial resources. I've spent over $100,000 in attorney's fees alone, not to mention coparent counseling and other resources, and we're still trying to hash out custody. Our son turns 14 this year and is begging to change from 50/50. I'm hopeful that this time around, the courts will listen to him (because we've already exhausted trying to hash this out in coparent counseling- who's surprised??) now that he's older. I've also been having to pay child support this whole time, since I have a job, and he lives rent-free and refuses to get a job, even after being ordered to do so by the court. Tina, your books and resources have been such a gift during this journey, and even just knowing I'm not alone in this battle has been immensely helpful. I so appreciate your guidance over the years as I continue this fight on my own. Keep doing what you're doing. ❤
I'm so happy to find your channel. My court date is on Thursday and my ex-husband is trying to get full custody of our children and wants the marital home. He's never present in time of needs for the children. This channel is very informative Thank you soo much
this is so so so true - how do we get this message out? No one believes how abusive the system is after leaving! and I love your comment - the control does not end - it intensifies.
Have you ever thought about connecting with Oprah Winfrey? I know that sounds silly at first, but she has spent decades advocating for protection of children from abuse. This may be another facet of child abuse that she would aide in helping.
You had me until "parental alienation". I agree with you on a great deal here; you validated my suspicions re: CPS and also some aspects of the family courts (I've believed for years that the system is highly politically charged), so for that, I thank you. 🙏🏼 Thing is, everything you touch on leading up to andfollowing the Gardner discredit describes precisely what a truly alienated parent endures. Call it what you like: pathogenic parenting, domestic abuse, direct interference with an otherwise healthy parent/child bond, I don't care. Salvatore Minuchin described it as a cross-generational coalition -- wherein one parent enlists the support of the child(ren) against the other parent. He goes further to say that these coalitions (alienation strategies) are particularly associated with psychosomatic illness (i.e. the presence of a NPD and/or BPD parent, or one that displays traits thereof). So whether it be the BPD's desire to be seen as the hero/victim, or the NPD's need to punish the "targeted" parent, the end result is a loving and capable parent who is now alienated from their child. So... although I do get that you take issue with the NPD or BPD parents who wrongfully accuse -- as do I -- you might not throw the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak. As for Gardner.. I've not done extensive research into the matter, and I don't wish to take a side here, but I do believe that his comments have been taken out of context. I'll leave it at that. If the term Parental Alienation *Syndrome* doesn't sit well, that's alright. It doesn't need to. But as stated above, I do not think it is wise to dismiss the evidence found in Dr. Gardner's research (or any research pertaining to this malignant dynamic). Minimizing or ignoring the symptoms that these children all suffer from would be abuse in it's own right. Again, I appreciate your work here. I just thought this needed to be addressed, as demonizing all parents who identify as being alienated just doesn't seem reasonable or accurate.
I feel the same way. My ex has alienated my children against me. It is common for narcs to do. There is a difference between realistic estrangement (when a parent is abusive and the child does not want to be around them) versus true alienation (when the alienating parent essentially brainwashes the child). PA is very real; it is also used as a weapon by abusive parents to claim the healthy parent is turning the child against them. So, I see both sides. But yes, i wish OMB would research about true alienation/pathogenic parenting, and include that in what is presented as well. Because PA isn't a pseudoscience.
Thank you Tina for such a great presentation! One of your stories involving CPS just occurred to my young child. And similarly I have the same results as you. I read Ms. Schaefer's document. Very alarming, eye opening and heartbreaking! Praying for our children. Things need to change and children need to be kept safe. Thank you and your team for all the hard work! Blessings🙏🏻
You couldn’t have explained this presentation any better! Please use this speech in legislation for new laws in family court the system, post decree, I stand with you all!!
Great post Tina. As a father dealing with this from the mother of my two children, it's frustrating for sure. My heart breaks and is angry at the same time for some of the scenarios in the video. Please keep up the good work.
I’m just here to say your strength and courage doing these is amazing and inspirational. I have sent your channel to friends and followers going through these things as well as followed for my own knowledge. Thank you.
I have to argue against the alienation aspect. I am a survivor or actually, I am surviving (currently in the Post-separation part and neck-deep in a custody battle with my ex). For me, alienation is the real deal but it is not coming from me. I do not think it is junk if it is actually occurring and not just claimed it is, but not really the case. It is enormously real and valid. My ex-narc has one my son over because he is the fun parent and that is all he is as a parent because he neglects so many of his basic needs because that is not fun. Even just a good solid healthy meal is not fun, yet my son adores him beacuse of how fun and dada always gets him toys. He comes from a narcissistic mother who he must win her approval by being the best and looking the best and any issues he has she will ignore and deny. Since our split, she may not degrade me or say harmful things but she omits me all together any time my ex has my son. This started early on in his life as we separated when my son was just 8 months old. Over time, he started making comments to my son how I was mean, bad, scary, not a good mommy...etc. He began to say to my son at every drop-off that he didn't have to be with me long and daddy would be there to get him. I was clueless to what was going on. Over the next year and half, he continued to work my son into full-blown rejection of me while he would smile as my son screamed and yelled at me, saying "no mama, don't want you. NO you bad mama, don''t like you." This happened ONLY when my ex was around. After drop off it took me a little bit to get my son to calm down and let me hold him and then after a day, he was back to being my loving boy again. This went on for more than a year and half before Is finally stumbled upon information about parental alienation and everything finally made sense.All the while this was happening I was punishing myself for all the millions of reasons I told myself as to why my sweet toddler didn't love me. From me thinking that I was allowing the narcissist to get into my head making me too emotional which my son picked up, or that I couldn't give him 100% of my attention like his daddy because I have my other child I have custody of from a previous relationship, to maybe I am a bad mommy...and on and on. It wasn't until I read about alienation that I finally started to clue in and that is when I spotted all the glaringly obvious things he was doing that was happening right in front of me but I was too busy blaming myself to notice. He was secretly punishing my son by either silence and angry or disapproving body language or not giving my son hugs or cuddles or toys if he showed me any love or that he wanted me when he was with my ex. People have told me that my son who is almost 3 was too young for any of that to work on him, but I am here to tell you that is not true especially if they never discipline or correct their behavior as ways to show the healthy parent is mean or bad or if they allow for fits to be what gets them their way and the healthy parent doesn't give in to tantrums to get a toy every grocery trip, That was just the beginning. My son is very smart and advanced in his speaking and understanding and has always been ahead at his marker checks by his pediatrician, but I believe if the narc is clued in enough in understanding manipulation tactics on people they will and can easily figure out what subtle things they can do to hurt the bond between the healthy parent especially if the healthy parent is juggling far more than they are and doesn't give as much uninterrupted attention because they have a whole house to manage and another child whereas he lived with his parents and his mother did everything he didn't have to lift a finger and it was all attention on my son while adding how it wasn't with me and his parents in agreement. If he asked for me his mother would tell him oh you mean daddy every single time until my son then started only saying dada. It is just sick. But now I have seen it full on, I have seen him smile when my son doesn't want me, and then when he tells him to say goodbye and my follows orders he feels powerful. He has held my son's hands down when he was waving goodbye and blowing me kisses. The list is endless, but while it may be a tactic that works when it is used as just a mear way to hurt the healthy parent, for me it is just another unfounded grievance that would be impossible to prove from the courts. The only thing that has helped a little is the fact that I finally figured it out and have made my ex well aware that I know what he had been doing and have made continued comments about how the courts see it as abuse...etc and because we were are just in the beginning stages of custody he wants to look like the perfect parent and has stopped a lot of his deliberate fear tactics to my son about me. And I have countered it with constant check-ins with my son to check on him as best one can with a toddler and extra assurances that I love him no matter what anyone says...etc and it has improved the situation. However, if the narc knew the truth about what several attorneys have told me in that it is a waste of time to claim because it is impossible to prove, then I know he would be going above and beyond to make my son reject me. It is very gut-wrenching to endure and I know many people where the disordered parent was causing their child to hate them. I have read books about survivors who were forced to hate or reject their better parent for fear of the disordered one harming them and there is a lot of information that shows the dark side of this and how it is not junk but very real and a nightmare if it is coming from the narc after surviving their abuse in a relationship and then this is the addition to the abuse suffered in post-separation and then to see on things like this that you cling to for support to hear them say it is not real and junk and only used by the narc as a false claim that the healthy parent is doing to them.....I am here to say that is not always the case and for me it has been just another added hell my ex has caused me. For him, he knows that I would never do it to him because I grew up without a dad, my died and I would never want a child to have to grow up without a dad and that is my weakness unless the parent was dangerous. Well, I learned that that weakness was blinding me to what my ex truly was as a parent and my ex used it as a way to further hurt me because what better way to hurt me than through my heart and soul...my kids. It's a guaranteed way to hurt me the most. Also, to add we were never married but I suffered just as much as a married couple and his abuse never were physical and according to many it does not qualify as domestic abuse. I met him right after divorcing my ex-husband whom I never had children with thank God, who physically beat me and tried to end my life via strangulation. Then I met the person who is has hurt me and caused more suffering than my physically abusive ex ever did.
Hey! My heart goes out to you Momma! I too for years, every other weekend my kiddos were away. They'd come home pinned against each other, pinned against me, calling me names, accusing me of lying, not following the rules, & not listening to the boss! Then it was daddy is this & daddy is that comparisons. 💔Sooo hard! Yes, it is real. The biggest pink elephant, caveat, undermining, premeditated, & methodical delusion being entertained and advertised in PA is just as the other person commented. It's abusive! It's a manipulative characteristic better coined by "PATHOGENIC PARENTING". It's a pathology. It's psychological child abuse! Fathers rights, those whom are domestic terrorists have absolutely opened an arsenal to their benefit and since it's worked so well for those whom want control & choose to abuse; trying to pass it in Congress as LAW in each State RIGHT along with 50/50 parenting is the Goal. Pathogenic Parenting! Just sharing wht I've come to know.🙏🏽 I'm sorry you and your family are experiencing such toxicity. It's not right. And it's not okay!
@@OneMomsBattle I love your Lemonade Wisdom emails, and use lots of their tips. Thank you for this video - I will watch after work. Do you send these packets out to judges in the United Kingdom? Many thanks for your time!
Thank goodness for the lack of diagnosis when it comes to labeling an innocent person for the benefit of the predator. If someone is acting as a predator, that is what we need to recognize, not other labels. There are predators educated to diagnose and there are likely also financial incentives or they are charmed by a predator. The family legal system has to recognize predators within the system, itself. There is no recognition or care for anyone having any other issues that make it hard for them to come across well in family court, or issues which may be used wrongly against them, prejudices against them, especially without an attorney, where as judges deliberately allow people with attorneys to represent and prevent them from coming across poorly, whereas someone without an attorney may be punished for issues which do not affect them being a loving, caring, protective parent. The person with an attorney was not harshly questioned or penalized, like the abused person and protective parent who is unrepresented. Also, attorneys may make fun of and criticize harshly the abused person and protective parent as they are representing them without recognizing the real issues. They may also surprise their client by saying they won't challenge the other person financially after you specifically went to them to ask for that representation and stating that need, as I did. The decisions may be made without the client. They state that you are to trust them and then break your trust. When they don't ask the right questions where abuse is concerned they may also dismiss the case and cause further trauma without knowing what to ask, or understanding real circumstances, or being ignorantly dismissive too soon, further harming children in every aspect.
I have struggled with all of this for 8yrs Ive been divorced. If they commit domestic violence when they cant control you…. When your kids get older and they cant control them it happens to them. Yes abuse never ends with shared parenting. In ohio they never want to terminate that its sad
Ok what does that mean? Im in cuyahoga county in ohio. I went to court last year and I have 70% custody he has 30% standard visitation but we still have legal shared parenting which is terrible I also have my family wizard and will not talk to him on the phone and he is not supposed to talk to me in person unless I agreed in writing but of course he breaks that all the time
@@jeanettecable1902 They are currently pushing a very dangerous bill that would create a 50/50 shared parenting law. Read more here and PLEASE get involved: www.onemomsbattle.com/blog/ohio-and-shared-parenting
I am very sad that all Cluster B personalities are being painted with the same brush. I am also sad that many are painting this as a mother versus father issue because even though there is some truth towards gender prejudices which affect men and women, girls and boys at different stages of life and in different settings, differently, this is truly about predators and predatory rulings often enacted through legal, financial and emotional or psychological evaluation and perspective in a system designed by predators for predators who tend to be good at designing systems in their image and enacted jointly by those who are either predators themselves or whom have deceived those around them within those professions and because they too, are often charming and manipulative, they get away with it. The education is badly needed, but it needs to be recognized that there is not just one person who is a highly manipulative predator, but they are feeding into a system designed for their benefit.
is this another endless place that there are fees/costs involved because there is no 'real' help for me to be found....it is truly disgusting and discouraging and appears as all groups/orgs or places said/thought to help are not, only to exploit and further traumatize/profit from women @@OneMomsBattle
I love where you started, but when you got to court and tries to come before the court as not equal, you lost. Coming to court as anything other than equal without evidence or proof of allegation is mute. You seem to be speaking as though you and yours should be heralded as beyond equal for their reason and experience, which is not equal and ambivalent judicial decisions.
My marriage therapist was the first to tell me the same , that I was likely married to a narcissist. I still see her to this day and she is one who ‘gets it’
Wow finally someone who understands!!!! I went through years of trying to stay away from my abuser only for him to drag me through family court system to see his kids and find me in contempt two teens didn’t want to go with him and the judge or me in jail for this three times!!! 3 months to go before my youngest turns 18 so I’m almost out of it! He failed drug tests judge didn’t seemed to care…even laughed about it!!!! I’m writing a book on my case to show people that this family court corruption is real!!! It’s disgusting and my believe is it’s the devil’s playground! Pray for laws to change to protect the victims and their children!!!
Oh, I had to stop at the 23:08 mark to cry, cuz it was like a rod in my chest hearing my story. Feeling like a prisoner for sure, with a completely clean record. Just PTSD. Not giving up. March 3rd Boulder County if anyone can come! 😭 This video is so perfectly thorough Tina, thank you!
Big hugs, momma.
YES!!!! years of abuse - death threats and now I have to defend myself....
I’m so thankful for the information, it sounds like there is no way to win and protect the child
I just got through this mess, 20 months fighting narc in court, 85k on court fees, false accusations against me, bullying harassment from exs narcissist Attorney, trying to sabatosh me while ex got away quitting his job to not pay child support, working under the table, fraud, gambling, abandonment. I believe the court systems are full of narcissist too. I filed a complaint with the Bar Association because ex narcs Attorney was practicing very unethical, putting my children's safety in jeapody,, she twisted my words, the state bar has not done a single thing.
What I get from this is that resistance is futile. I’m in pain watching my son be in pain, but the Mother is the preferred parent. She has my child calling other people Daddy, and no one cares. I asked CPS to make us a CHINS case, and they refused. No one will help.’
All we can do is help our kids cope. That’s it. They do the damage. We clean up the mess. This is the way.
Sharing everywhere. This is gold
Hi, I'm based in Europe, with a different context than in the US but your newsletter and your videos have helped me so much to go through this. Thank you for your amazing work.
I'm 7+ years deep into my situation (finalized the divorce almost 3 years ago, finally), and it has blown me away how much the N uses the court system to further the abuse, especially with unlimited financial resources. I've spent over $100,000 in attorney's fees alone, not to mention coparent counseling and other resources, and we're still trying to hash out custody. Our son turns 14 this year and is begging to change from 50/50. I'm hopeful that this time around, the courts will listen to him (because we've already exhausted trying to hash this out in coparent counseling- who's surprised??) now that he's older. I've also been having to pay child support this whole time, since I have a job, and he lives rent-free and refuses to get a job, even after being ordered to do so by the court. Tina, your books and resources have been such a gift during this journey, and even just knowing I'm not alone in this battle has been immensely helpful. I so appreciate your guidance over the years as I continue this fight on my own. Keep doing what you're doing. ❤
I'm so happy to find your channel. My court date is on Thursday and my ex-husband is trying to get full custody of our children and wants the marital home. He's never present in time of needs for the children. This channel is very informative
Thank you soo much
Thank you so much. Everything you have described is exactly what I have gone through. I had never heard DARVO, but it’s a perfect description.
822 children this should have never of happened. Absolutely appalling. My heart goes out to these mothers and their children.
this is so so so true - how do we get this message out? No one believes how abusive the system is after leaving! and I love your comment - the control does not end - it intensifies.
Have you ever thought about connecting with Oprah Winfrey? I know that sounds silly at first, but she has spent decades advocating for protection of children from abuse. This may be another facet of child abuse that she would aide in helping.
You had me until "parental alienation". I agree with you on a great deal here; you validated my suspicions re: CPS and also some aspects of the family courts (I've believed for years that the system is highly politically charged), so for that, I thank you. 🙏🏼
Thing is, everything you touch on leading up to andfollowing the Gardner discredit describes precisely what a truly alienated parent endures.
Call it what you like: pathogenic parenting, domestic abuse, direct interference with an otherwise healthy parent/child bond, I don't care. Salvatore Minuchin described it as a cross-generational coalition -- wherein one parent enlists the support of the child(ren) against the other parent. He goes further to say that these coalitions (alienation strategies) are particularly associated with psychosomatic illness (i.e. the presence of a NPD and/or BPD parent, or one that displays traits thereof).
So whether it be the BPD's desire to be seen as the hero/victim, or the NPD's need to punish the "targeted" parent, the end result is a loving and capable parent who is now alienated from their child. So... although I do get that you take issue with the NPD or BPD parents who wrongfully accuse -- as do I -- you might not throw the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak.
As for Gardner.. I've not done extensive research into the matter, and I don't wish to take a side here, but I do believe that his comments have been taken out of context. I'll leave it at that. If the term Parental Alienation *Syndrome* doesn't sit well, that's alright. It doesn't need to. But as stated above, I do not think it is wise to dismiss the evidence found in Dr. Gardner's research (or any research pertaining to this malignant dynamic). Minimizing or ignoring the symptoms that these children all suffer from would be abuse in it's own right.
Again, I appreciate your work here. I just thought this needed to be addressed, as demonizing all parents who identify as being alienated just doesn't seem reasonable or accurate.
I feel the same way. My ex has alienated my children against me. It is common for narcs to do. There is a difference between realistic estrangement (when a parent is abusive and the child does not want to be around them) versus true alienation (when the alienating parent essentially brainwashes the child). PA is very real; it is also used as a weapon by abusive parents to claim the healthy parent is turning the child against them. So, I see both sides. But yes, i wish OMB would research about true alienation/pathogenic parenting, and include that in what is presented as well. Because PA isn't a pseudoscience.
Thank you Tina. Your heart gives me hope.
Another amazing presentation! Thank you for sharing this so freely and authentically.
Thank you, friend
So glad to still see you on CZcams, Tina and thank you for this amazing message. Very well done.
Thank you Tina for such a great presentation! One of your stories involving CPS just occurred to my young child. And similarly I have the same results as you. I read Ms. Schaefer's document. Very alarming, eye opening and heartbreaking! Praying for our children. Things need to change and children need to be kept safe. Thank you and your team for all the hard work! Blessings🙏🏻
You couldn’t have explained this presentation any better! Please use this speech in legislation for new laws in family court the system, post decree, I stand with you all!!
Great post Tina. As a father dealing with this from the mother of my two children, it's frustrating for sure. My heart breaks and is angry at the same time for some of the scenarios in the video.
Please keep up the good work.
Thank you. Hugs to you and all of you out there dealing with these things 🎀
I’m just here to say your strength and courage doing these is amazing and inspirational. I have sent your channel to friends and followers going through these things as well as followed for my own knowledge. Thank you.
Spot On!!!!
Bang on
Well done! Amazing!
Thank you Tina 🌷
Thank you. You are my life line.
I have to argue against the alienation aspect. I am a survivor or actually, I am surviving (currently in the Post-separation part and neck-deep in a custody battle with my ex). For me, alienation is the real deal but it is not coming from me. I do not think it is junk if it is actually occurring and not just claimed it is, but not really the case. It is enormously real and valid. My ex-narc has one my son over because he is the fun parent and that is all he is as a parent because he neglects so many of his basic needs because that is not fun. Even just a good solid healthy meal is not fun, yet my son adores him beacuse of how fun and dada always gets him toys. He comes from a narcissistic mother who he must win her approval by being the best and looking the best and any issues he has she will ignore and deny. Since our split, she may not degrade me or say harmful things but she omits me all together any time my ex has my son. This started early on in his life as we separated when my son was just 8 months old. Over time, he started making comments to my son how I was mean, bad, scary, not a good mommy...etc. He began to say to my son at every drop-off that he didn't have to be with me long and daddy would be there to get him. I was clueless to what was going on. Over the next year and half, he continued to work my son into full-blown rejection of me while he would smile as my son screamed and yelled at me, saying "no mama, don't want you. NO you bad mama, don''t like you." This happened ONLY when my ex was around. After drop off it took me a little bit to get my son to calm down and let me hold him and then after a day, he was back to being my loving boy again. This went on for more than a year and half before Is finally stumbled upon information about parental alienation and everything finally made sense.All the while this was happening I was punishing myself for all the millions of reasons I told myself as to why my sweet toddler didn't love me. From me thinking that I was allowing the narcissist to get into my head making me too emotional which my son picked up, or that I couldn't give him 100% of my attention like his daddy because I have my other child I have custody of from a previous relationship, to maybe I am a bad mommy...and on and on. It wasn't until I read about alienation that I finally started to clue in and that is when I spotted all the glaringly obvious things he was doing that was happening right in front of me but I was too busy blaming myself to notice. He was secretly punishing my son by either silence and angry or disapproving body language or not giving my son hugs or cuddles or toys if he showed me any love or that he wanted me when he was with my ex. People have told me that my son who is almost 3 was too young for any of that to work on him, but I am here to tell you that is not true especially if they never discipline or correct their behavior as ways to show the healthy parent is mean or bad or if they allow for fits to be what gets them their way and the healthy parent doesn't give in to tantrums to get a toy every grocery trip, That was just the beginning. My son is very smart and advanced in his speaking and understanding and has always been ahead at his marker checks by his pediatrician, but I believe if the narc is clued in enough in understanding manipulation tactics on people they will and can easily figure out what subtle things they can do to hurt the bond between the healthy parent especially if the healthy parent is juggling far more than they are and doesn't give as much uninterrupted attention because they have a whole house to manage and another child whereas he lived with his parents and his mother did everything he didn't have to lift a finger and it was all attention on my son while adding how it wasn't with me and his parents in agreement. If he asked for me his mother would tell him oh you mean daddy every single time until my son then started only saying dada. It is just sick. But now I have seen it full on, I have seen him smile when my son doesn't want me, and then when he tells him to say goodbye and my follows orders he feels powerful. He has held my son's hands down when he was waving goodbye and blowing me kisses. The list is endless, but while it may be a tactic that works when it is used as just a mear way to hurt the healthy parent, for me it is just another unfounded grievance that would be impossible to prove from the courts. The only thing that has helped a little is the fact that I finally figured it out and have made my ex well aware that I know what he had been doing and have made continued comments about how the courts see it as abuse...etc and because we were are just in the beginning stages of custody he wants to look like the perfect parent and has stopped a lot of his deliberate fear tactics to my son about me. And I have countered it with constant check-ins with my son to check on him as best one can with a toddler and extra assurances that I love him no matter what anyone says...etc and it has improved the situation. However, if the narc knew the truth about what several attorneys have told me in that it is a waste of time to claim because it is impossible to prove, then I know he would be going above and beyond to make my son reject me. It is very gut-wrenching to endure and I know many people where the disordered parent was causing their child to hate them. I have read books about survivors who were forced to hate or reject their better parent for fear of the disordered one harming them and there is a lot of information that shows the dark side of this and how it is not junk but very real and a nightmare if it is coming from the narc after surviving their abuse in a relationship and then this is the addition to the abuse suffered in post-separation and then to see on things like this that you cling to for support to hear them say it is not real and junk and only used by the narc as a false claim that the healthy parent is doing to them.....I am here to say that is not always the case and for me it has been just another added hell my ex has caused me. For him, he knows that I would never do it to him because I grew up without a dad, my died and I would never want a child to have to grow up without a dad and that is my weakness unless the parent was dangerous. Well, I learned that that weakness was blinding me to what my ex truly was as a parent and my ex used it as a way to further hurt me because what better way to hurt me than through my heart and soul...my kids. It's a guaranteed way to hurt me the most. Also, to add we were never married but I suffered just as much as a married couple and his abuse never were physical and according to many it does not qualify as domestic abuse. I met him right after divorcing my ex-husband whom I never had children with thank God, who physically beat me and tried to end my life via strangulation. Then I met the person who is has hurt me and caused more suffering than my physically abusive ex ever did.
Hey! My heart goes out to you Momma! I too for years, every other weekend my kiddos were away. They'd come home pinned against each other, pinned against me, calling me names, accusing me of lying, not following the rules, & not listening to the boss! Then it was daddy is this & daddy is that comparisons. 💔Sooo hard!
Yes, it is real. The biggest pink elephant, caveat, undermining, premeditated, & methodical delusion being entertained and advertised in PA is just as the other person commented.
It's abusive! It's a manipulative characteristic better coined by "PATHOGENIC PARENTING". It's a pathology. It's psychological child abuse!
Fathers rights, those whom are domestic terrorists have absolutely opened an arsenal to their benefit and since it's worked so well for those whom want control & choose to abuse; trying to pass it in Congress as LAW in each State RIGHT along with 50/50 parenting is the Goal.
Pathogenic Parenting!
Just sharing wht I've come to know.🙏🏽
I'm sorry you and your family are experiencing such toxicity. It's not right. And it's not okay!
I can relate so much. They love themselves and money only and cruelty is a buzz for them.
Co-parenting. Don’t we wish that meant both parents were cooperative. Dont we wish.
anyone else here in Nova Scotia, Canada?
Do you still have those packets available to mail them out to judges, attorneys, and or even evaluators.?
www.educateyourjudge.com
@@OneMomsBattle I love your Lemonade Wisdom emails, and use lots of their tips. Thank you for this video - I will watch after work. Do you send these packets out to judges in the United Kingdom? Many thanks for your time!
Hear, hear!
Thank goodness for the lack of diagnosis when it comes to labeling an innocent person for the benefit of the predator. If someone is acting as a predator, that is what we need to recognize, not other labels. There are predators educated to diagnose and there are likely also financial incentives or they are charmed by a predator. The family legal system has to recognize predators within the system, itself. There is no recognition or care for anyone having any other issues that make it hard for them to come across well in family court, or issues which may be used wrongly against them, prejudices against them, especially without an attorney, where as judges deliberately allow people with attorneys to represent and prevent them from coming across poorly, whereas someone without an attorney may be punished for issues which do not affect them being a loving, caring, protective parent. The person with an attorney was not harshly questioned or penalized, like the abused person and protective parent who is unrepresented. Also, attorneys may make fun of and criticize harshly the abused person and protective parent as they are representing them without recognizing the real issues. They may also surprise their client by saying they won't challenge the other person financially after you specifically went to them to ask for that representation and stating that need, as I did. The decisions may be made without the client. They state that you are to trust them and then break your trust. When they don't ask the right questions where abuse is concerned they may also dismiss the case and cause further trauma without knowing what to ask, or understanding real circumstances, or being ignorantly dismissive too soon, further harming children in every aspect.
I have struggled with all of this for 8yrs Ive been divorced. If they commit domestic violence when they cant control you…. When your kids get older and they cant control them it happens to them.
Yes abuse never ends with shared parenting. In ohio they never want to terminate that its sad
Ohio is about to get worse if Creech gets his way.
Ok what does that mean? Im in cuyahoga county in ohio. I went to court last year and I have 70% custody he has 30% standard visitation but we still have legal shared parenting which is terrible I also have my family wizard and will not talk to him on the phone and he is not supposed to talk to me in person unless I agreed in writing but of course he breaks that all the time
@@jeanettecable1902 They are currently pushing a very dangerous bill that would create a 50/50 shared parenting law. Read more here and PLEASE get involved: www.onemomsbattle.com/blog/ohio-and-shared-parenting
cannot add what i tried to comment
How do we get help to protect the children
I am very sad that all Cluster B personalities are being painted with the same brush. I am also sad that many are painting this as a mother versus father issue because even though there is some truth towards gender prejudices which affect men and women, girls and boys at different stages of life and in different settings, differently, this is truly about predators and predatory rulings often enacted through legal, financial and emotional or psychological evaluation and perspective in a system designed by predators for predators who tend to be good at designing systems in their image and enacted jointly by those who are either predators themselves or whom have deceived those around them within those professions and because they too, are often charming and manipulative, they get away with it. The education is badly needed, but it needs to be recognized that there is not just one person who is a highly manipulative predator, but they are feeding into a system designed for their benefit.
Thank you, now it all makes sense.
Your story sounds just like mine
cps disgusting.
looking for support other women in Nova Scotia, Canada
We have an entire chapter in Canada that you can join by going to www.OMBchapters.com
is this another endless place that there are fees/costs involved because there is no 'real' help for me to be found....it is truly disgusting and discouraging and appears as all groups/orgs or places said/thought to help are not, only to exploit and further traumatize/profit from women @@OneMomsBattle
and this is like many other laces when i click says it isnt secure @@OneMomsBattle
doesn't look/seem legit @@OneMomsBattle
@@OneMomsBattle I have tried to joinn but still pending.....I need help/support in Windsor, Nova Scotia
I love where you started, but when you got to court and tries to come before the court as not equal, you lost. Coming to court as anything other than equal without evidence or proof of allegation is mute. You seem to be speaking as though you and yours should be heralded as beyond equal for their reason and experience, which is not equal and ambivalent judicial decisions.