Surviving Edged Weapons - JonTron

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  • čas přidán 19. 12. 2019
  • Thanks to Dollar Shave Club for sponsoring. Go to www.DollarShaveClub.com/jontron to get your starter set for $5. After that, the restock box ships full-sized products at regular price.
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    Follow JonTron Here:
    Instagram: / jontronshow
    Twitter: / jontronshow
    Business Inquiries:
    jontron(at)ellifyagency.com
    --
    Crew:
    Director, Writer, Editor - Jon Jafari
    Director of Photography/Line Producer - Sergio Emilio Torres
    Camera Operator - Conor Murdock
    Gaffer- Michael Shayne
    Editor - Andrew Reynoso
    Sound Mixer - Keaton Hild
    Production Designer/ Prop Master- Lynell Vinuya
    Leadman - Mike Butler
    Carpenter - Robert Taylor
    Makeup Artist - Maria Alexandra
    Special Effects - Melanie Licata
    Set PA - Aramis Klein
    Assistant Editor - Lewis Bown
    Cast:
    Teenage Sister - Tamara Chichian
    Teenage Brother - Daniel Stompor
    Knife Culture Guests - Charlotte Claw, Craig Ernest Woodward, Georgia Morgan, Philip O'Gorman
    Thug/Swordsman - Joseph Hernandez
    Knife Culture VO - Lewis Bown
    --
    Christmas JonTron Intro by Studio Yotta
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    Christmas JonTron Theme by Tom Ryan
  • Komedie

Komentáře • 23K

  • @brock5485
    @brock5485 Před 4 lety +8389

    Imagine being a mid-40’s woman hired specifically to act as a Satanist who gets shot in a police training video

    • @manofcultura
      @manofcultura Před 4 lety +570

      Agent: boy deborah, do I have a role for you. We’ll break you out of that jerry springier crowd member #9 rut...

    • @Shmaples
      @Shmaples Před 4 lety +182

      HAIL SATAN

    • @x_croner
      @x_croner Před 4 lety +86

      soon tell her children that satan saved her

    • @cheekybananaboy3361
      @cheekybananaboy3361 Před 4 lety +309

      it wasn't an act they really just invaded a satanist hideout and shot a bitch

    • @uljk5699
      @uljk5699 Před 4 lety +233

      At first, I couldn't tell if she was genuinely an in-video character or just another disguise of Jon.

  • @randomslomo1875
    @randomslomo1875 Před 3 lety +4473

    I think when they say "knife culture" they mean what is commonly referred to as "living on the edge."

  • @GruelEnjoyer
    @GruelEnjoyer Před 2 lety +3433

    The fact that they put an Iron Maiden poster in the satanist’s house at 11:08 really shows the age of this training film

    • @failsrus96
      @failsrus96 Před 2 lety +119

      That's the 80s for ya!

    • @salommy
      @salommy Před 2 lety +52

      Up the Irons!

    • @rambeastgamer6472
      @rambeastgamer6472 Před 2 lety +130

      "Take cover that knife is fully loaded"

    • @MrMCDiggles
      @MrMCDiggles Před 2 lety +78

      Satanic panic certainly was a thing.

    • @kthxbaiz
      @kthxbaiz Před 2 lety +41

      "shows the *edge* of this training film"

  • @Evan24_7
    @Evan24_7 Před rokem +417

    2:58 Can we just appreciate how Jon set up this entire scene for a 15 second gag?

    • @lukamoon6094
      @lukamoon6094 Před 10 měsíci +10

      “Knife culture”

    • @shadydaemon4178
      @shadydaemon4178 Před 2 měsíci +1

      I wish I was there, I would dine in content with everyone there, the single cutlery choice would’ve been hilarious to use.

    • @cheburgg
      @cheburgg Před 23 dny

      no

  • @sabertag6992
    @sabertag6992 Před 4 lety +3091

    Can we all just appreciate that Jon got 4 other people and himself to get dressed for a fancy dinner, cooked it, dressed the table for a 4 star meal in a Victorian home, all for a 10 second gag?

    • @sleeplessdistrict3897
      @sleeplessdistrict3897 Před 4 lety +79

      SaberTag To be fair that good looks hella good

    • @kirbysuperstar5494
      @kirbysuperstar5494 Před 4 lety +154

      The man takes his jokes seriously

    • @apassionatenerd.3564
      @apassionatenerd.3564 Před 4 lety +22

      @Illumurian that still takes time and effort in fairness

    • @ponnythedinosaur3963
      @ponnythedinosaur3963 Před 4 lety +10

      SaberTag I hope he’s not back on hiatus

    • @TnT_F0X
      @TnT_F0X Před 4 lety +19

      Jon: Alright I placed a takeout order from Applebees, get in costume if you want free dinner before editing for 72 hours.

  • @ianhoddinott9492
    @ianhoddinott9492 Před 4 lety +3184

    "What are you gonna do, stab me?"
    _-Quote From Man Stabbed_

  • @FloodlightGamingReal
    @FloodlightGamingReal Před 2 lety +660

    Can't wait for the sequel "how to dodge projectile based weaponry"

  • @squishybrick
    @squishybrick Před 2 lety +986

    "Edge based attack" just sounds like a term used by a DnD game.
    Always beware of edge based attackers.. You may be equipped with a bullet-proof vest that gives 65% resistance to bullet based attacks, but edge based attacks can bypass this and deal critical damage, to even the hardiest of officers..
    Remember.. There's no save throw for incompetence..

    • @dungeon_delvers
      @dungeon_delvers Před rokem +51

      The police assailant enters my melee range, but luckily he failed his perception check to realize I have my broadsword sheathed in the Tim Hortons. I roll a critical sneak attack, and since he has vulnerability to edge based attacks, I do x4 damage.

    • @KopperNeoman
      @KopperNeoman Před rokem +5

      That's just most UFO Defence mods.

    • @zombieattacker5221
      @zombieattacker5221 Před rokem +15

      Actually knives are very effective on light police vests as they are made of a bunch of fibers that are made to distribute the force of a bullet but can be cut easily
      But if you have a plate carrying vest it's not as effective cause there's a steel plate in there.

    • @Pigmedog
      @Pigmedog Před rokem +8

      its called slashing damage but about the same gist

    • @vectorequinox6202
      @vectorequinox6202 Před rokem +3

      This is legit how bulletproof armor works in World of Darkness games like Vampire and Hunter.

  • @DamnUKakkaCarrotCake
    @DamnUKakkaCarrotCake Před 4 lety +7152

    I'm no botanist, but doesn't Dollar Shave Club sell razors? Idk, sounds like edged weapons to me.

    • @clickpause8732
      @clickpause8732 Před 4 lety +402

      I'm no veterinarian, but you're right. Razor blades are deadly edged weapons that can provide severe edge-based attacks.

    • @MrHendrix17
      @MrHendrix17 Před 4 lety +138

      The biggest missed opportunity in an ad read ever

    • @tfwthelsdkicksin6083
      @tfwthelsdkicksin6083 Před 4 lety +123

      I'm no quantum physicist but yes you are correct

    • @jamescromwell4055
      @jamescromwell4055 Před 4 lety +113

      I'm no political scientist but now you know how to defend yourself against a razor. Just shoot. Dollar gun club.

    • @the-letter_s
      @the-letter_s Před 4 lety +75

      Look, I may not be a member of the Homo Erectus species, but knife bad.

  • @ryanlesner4716
    @ryanlesner4716 Před 4 lety +2404

    " I once saw him kill three men in a bar with a pencil. "
    " I only survived because I watched Surviving Edged Weapons. "

  • @schleepy6362
    @schleepy6362 Před 6 měsíci +28

    "Shoot first, MENS later" is a quote I will carry with me for the rest of my life, honestly. Wise words to live by.

  • @Ciborium
    @Ciborium Před 2 lety +164

    You forgot to mention that this video was filmed entirely in Milwaukee, WI, with an all-Milwaukee cast.
    This training film is the best training film of all time. It deserves an Academy Award.

    • @crazedfangirl5654
      @crazedfangirl5654 Před rokem +3

      That's why it looks so familiar

    • @1BrknHrtdRomeo
      @1BrknHrtdRomeo Před 3 měsíci +6

      Go watch RedLetterMedia's take on this.
      It's better overall lol but considering you have actual people from Milwaukee stumble on this and realize part of the way in that it's Milwaukee lol

  • @cheesemccheese7837
    @cheesemccheese7837 Před 4 lety +2848

    mad respect for creating an entire other set for the "knife culture" joke.

    • @PurpleColonel
      @PurpleColonel Před 3 lety +127

      I'm kinda disappointed it didnt turn into a mad stabbing party

    • @mr.mondomacho6815
      @mr.mondomacho6815 Před 3 lety +52

      Yo, how can I buy/stream episodes of “Knife Culture”? I’m a HUGE fan of old-timey British television!

    • @cheesemccheese7837
      @cheesemccheese7837 Před 3 lety +10

      @JONATHON FISHER I wouldn't for your own sanity

    • @hewhobattles8869
      @hewhobattles8869 Před 3 lety

      Same

    • @tausiftaha12
      @tausiftaha12 Před 3 lety

      @@cheesemccheese7837 you're name

  • @cgb6093
    @cgb6093 Před 4 lety +3536

    all i got from this was
    "How to survive edged weapons"
    "use a gun."

    • @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933
      @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 Před 4 lety +236

      If that doesn't work, use more gun

    • @absolutelyyousless7605
      @absolutelyyousless7605 Před 4 lety +126

      *Engineer’s guitar playing intensifies*

    • @bubbykins4864
      @bubbykins4864 Před 4 lety +15

      *becomes a Pikachu like this is a weird attempt at comedy*
      *uses Thunderbolt*
      *Scimitar Murderer: DEAD!*

    • @absolutelyyousless7605
      @absolutelyyousless7605 Před 4 lety +23

      Bubby Kins *R/ImSoRandom.* Being random is not funny, you fiend

    • @bubbykins4864
      @bubbykins4864 Před 4 lety +10

      @@absolutelyyousless7605 You tried linking a subreddit on CZcams.... And capitalized the first "r"? Not only that, but it says "attempt at" in there, acknowledging that someone's going to participate in the "put a subreddit name on CZcams _as the first thing you say"_ meme over my actually good advice for if by some chance, you become an Electric type. The point is that there is more than one way to defeat an enemy. You could even fight fire with fire, as chivalry had been doing. *loads pile driver-launching cannon with judicial intent*

  • @lexaramoth3623
    @lexaramoth3623 Před 2 lety +101

    I talked to a former cop, he said he had actually arrested a guy who dressed up like a ninja and swung a katana around

  • @TheWigglerKing
    @TheWigglerKing Před rokem +141

    3:04 I love how everyone else at the table looks right but jontron just sticks out so much

    • @republicofengineers1983
      @republicofengineers1983 Před rokem +13

      “Knife culture” kinda looks like a drama show I’d watch on Netflix
      Seriously, I’d watch that if it was actually a show

    • @JovialSkunk
      @JovialSkunk Před 2 měsíci

      How so?

    • @TheWigglerKing
      @TheWigglerKing Před 2 měsíci +2

      @@JovialSkunk like everyone else is this like, clean shaven, rigid jawline, well Kempt hair, and then Jon is just, neck beard double chin, its hilarious

    • @JovialSkunk
      @JovialSkunk Před 2 měsíci

      @@TheWigglerKing Fym? He looks fine

    • @TheWigglerKing
      @TheWigglerKing Před 2 měsíci +2

      @@JovialSkunk I mean he looks great physically, I was merely commenting on the difference between him and the others at the table, the others look like they fit into the aesthetic they were going for of upper-class dinner, and he doesn’t fit into that particular sect of appearance, I wasn’t calling him fat or ugly, and I wasn’t calling the other people better looking than him, they just look different from each other

  • @Tcj333
    @Tcj333 Před 4 lety +7621

    Everyone in the credits looks like they were held at edgepoint.

  • @Berd
    @Berd Před 4 lety +25755

    i would not have been able to protect my family from santa's relentless flurry of edge-based attacks. Thank you for this video

  • @megaman1584
    @megaman1584 Před rokem +163

    6:02-6:10 I like how the guy with the scimitar is running and screaming towards jon like one of those kamikaze dudes from serious sam. 😂

    • @Samstar369
      @Samstar369 Před rokem +11

      AHHHHHHHHHH 💣💣💣

    • @haydengates128
      @haydengates128 Před 16 dny

      Now remember, the first thing you want to do in this scenario is stay calm. If you don’t get them in the first shot you always got four more.
      **Cocks and shoot shotgun**
      I got him in one but don’t feel bad if you don’t, take as many as you can.

  • @killianmccartney5842
    @killianmccartney5842 Před rokem +256

    That's the same excuse I would give to a police officer. " Was it f****** cool absolutely"

    • @psychopathic_kitten1029
      @psychopathic_kitten1029 Před rokem +9

      "But officer, c'mon, that was a 360 noscope headshot! Right between the eyes! MIDAIR!!"

    • @killianmccartney5842
      @killianmccartney5842 Před rokem +1

      @@psychopathic_kitten1029 okay that was actually pretty f****** awesome

    • @JG-ce3pu
      @JG-ce3pu Před rokem +1

      You’d say “was it fu***** cool absolutely” to the cop?

    • @killianmccartney5842
      @killianmccartney5842 Před rokem

      @@JG-ce3pu yeah

    • @goldsteed8832
      @goldsteed8832 Před 7 měsíci

      ​@@psychopathic_kitten1029alright that was pretty rad, your free to go

  • @dominatornh981
    @dominatornh981 Před 4 lety +2382

    This is literally if Animal Planet describes whatever the heck knife culture is.

    • @5dollars237
      @5dollars237 Před 4 lety +28

      These guys are animals, wait no
      Evolved Animals

    • @kyokyoniizukyo7171
      @kyokyoniizukyo7171 Před 4 lety +6

      Sir Corgi
      You and me baby ain’t nothing but mamals so...

    • @myrmesuwu607
      @myrmesuwu607 Před 4 lety +10

      Gun: am I a joke to you?

    • @zacharyclarke4240
      @zacharyclarke4240 Před 4 lety +1

      nah knife culture is really just nutting over CRK sebenzas on reddit and instagram

    • @HeilRay
      @HeilRay Před 4 lety

      Illuminati Studios
      They’d say it still needs more animal sex

  • @CheeseYourself
    @CheeseYourself Před 3 lety +2855

    My dad owns like three swords, he just keeps them in his bedroom
    Should I be prepared to protect myself from his _relentless flurry of edge-based attacks_

    • @littlelettuce936
      @littlelettuce936 Před 3 lety +103

      Trust no one my friend.

    • @errortryagainlater4240
      @errortryagainlater4240 Před 3 lety +110

      This is how he's gonna tell you you're adopted.
      Be ready.

    • @abelq8008
      @abelq8008 Před 3 lety +60

      Wear a bright colored uniform so he can easily identify you in a melee.

    • @gyga4906
      @gyga4906 Před 3 lety +51

      Just remember to shoot first and mens later.

    • @eyeaid9817
      @eyeaid9817 Před 3 lety +31

      Well if he knows three sword style, well as a karate hobo once said:
      "Omae wa mou shindeiru"

  • @lewisclarke2840
    @lewisclarke2840 Před rokem +40

    Jon disguised as Santa coming down peoples chimneys and stabbing children is literally the funniest thing ever

  • @SirAsshat
    @SirAsshat Před 2 lety +32

    The RLM review of this on wheel of the worst is also a classic.

  • @skullhunter9962
    @skullhunter9962 Před 4 lety +3945

    He is only sharing his sponsorship so we have an edged weapon to defend ourselves with this year.

  • @LoveLee_Dreamer
    @LoveLee_Dreamer Před 4 lety +2548

    God there's nothing better, nothing I love more, than a casual claymore.

    • @Madmac42069
      @Madmac42069 Před 4 lety +52

      Elfin Dreamer what about a sensual scemitar ??

    • @tastierjungle4645
      @tastierjungle4645 Před 4 lety +1

      Elfin Dreamer Dutlniv

    • @danialhakim6665
      @danialhakim6665 Před 4 lety +28

      What about the problematic pencil?

    • @City-Hunter
      @City-Hunter Před 4 lety +10

      it's more of a bastard sword to be honest...

    • @LoveLee_Dreamer
      @LoveLee_Dreamer Před 4 lety +5

      @@Madmac42069 Ah fuck, I didn't think about the sensual scimitar.

  • @camerapasteurize7215
    @camerapasteurize7215 Před 2 lety +61

    Ironically, many police officers have been badly wounded when they underestimated a criminal knife. Adrenaline is crazy, and bullets have very little knockback in reality, as they tend to just go straight through a target. As a result, someone within a certain distance can still reach a person and stab them with a knife, even if they've been shot, because shock and adrenaline are preventing them from feeling pain at that moment. There was an account of a group of bank robbers who were surprised by the cops in a shootout. Every single one of them was wounded or killed in the ensuing firefight, except for one robber, who escaped and ran down the road several blocks before he stopped, and dropped dead. He had been shot in the heart, but his panic and adrenaline prevented him from even feeling the wound until he lost enough blood to collapse.

    • @googleandsusansucks
      @googleandsusansucks Před 5 měsíci

      "very little knockback in reality" Oh rly. It is called stopping power and yea, guns have a lot.

    • @hansshekelstein9450
      @hansshekelstein9450 Před 16 dny

      Tangently related, but once a Mexican dude survived a firing squad during the Mexican revolution, being shot literally in the skull and managed to play dead and drag himself to a church through adrenaline.

  • @archfiend221
    @archfiend221 Před rokem +128

    The funny part is now there's a movie called violent night about Santa killing people

    • @Virtual-caveman
      @Virtual-caveman Před rokem +3

      Actually 😂

    • @thegoatedone-yu8oe
      @thegoatedone-yu8oe Před rokem +3

      Very good movie

    • @Strummie
      @Strummie Před rokem +1

      Not like it’s an original concept. Silent Night, Deadly Night came out in 1984 and there’s a ton of other movies and media in general that have a killer Santa in it.

    • @masterchief8637
      @masterchief8637 Před rokem +4

      @@Strummie but granted, this killer santa is a heroic santa

    • @shadydaemon4178
      @shadydaemon4178 Před 2 měsíci

      Oh god…

  • @friedricedonkey7209
    @friedricedonkey7209 Před 3 lety +2745

    A wise friend once said "Violence is never the answer, its the question and the answer is yes."

  • @nerd_5615
    @nerd_5615 Před 3 lety +649

    5:54 I never once thought in my life I'd ever hear the phrase: "Jumpin' Jehovah James, that's a Scimitar he's got."

  • @-Commit-arson-
    @-Commit-arson- Před rokem +67

    I love how John when he gave the police officer, a voice acting role. It was immediately assumed that he was Midwestern.

    • @noesunyoutuber7680
      @noesunyoutuber7680 Před rokem +8

      I think that was mostly because all the actors in Surviving Edged Weapons were clearly also midwestern.

    • @-Commit-arson-
      @-Commit-arson- Před 11 měsíci +3

      @@noesunyoutuber7680
      “Ah shiet!”

    • @HenryLarson-wq2xp
      @HenryLarson-wq2xp Před měsícem

      Specifically, it's a Milwaukee accent, everyone is from Milwaukee, where the movie was shot

  • @morkman
    @morkman Před 2 lety +25

    I was rewatching this video, as one does, and I literally got an ad for a “monthly knife club.” That’s the kind of thing young knife culturists need to know about, as it’s a solid source of edge based weapons.

  • @nitrocharge2404
    @nitrocharge2404 Před 4 lety +2084

    I prefer having guns that shoot knives, however this video made this idea impractical, because now they know how to survive edged weapons

    • @joshuamendoza7596
      @joshuamendoza7596 Před 4 lety +68

      NitroCharge 240 easy solution gun shaped knife now it’s a blunt weapon disguised as an edged one

    • @SashaSlvt
      @SashaSlvt Před 4 lety +32

      NitroCharge 240 thats just a crossbow.....

    • @arneblonski2688
      @arneblonski2688 Před 4 lety +14

      Swordsplosion?

    • @MJFallout
      @MJFallout Před 4 lety +6

      Maybe try a really sharp gun; edged on every edge, giving you the real edge!

    • @tylerwhite9923
      @tylerwhite9923 Před 4 lety +5

      Bayonets my dude, bayonets.

  • @mynameisnotthathardtospell8199

    *_knife culture_*

  • @pieguy101
    @pieguy101 Před rokem +50

    still watch this every christmas masterpeice of a video

  • @TheBodyEuphoric
    @TheBodyEuphoric Před 4 měsíci +5

    "Jumpin Jehovah James, that's a Scim-tar!"

  • @teclinsoro4523
    @teclinsoro4523 Před 3 lety +5639

    “no money, no shit” should be on the door of those public toilets you have to pay to use

  • @viktortzarofthexbox2987
    @viktortzarofthexbox2987 Před 3 lety +1676

    “The emo kid came at me with his edgy my little pony OC! I’m sure glad I knew how to repel his edge based attack!”
    -some police officer probably

  • @timmytacoburrito
    @timmytacoburrito Před rokem +5

    4:11 one my favorite skits ever

  • @Quib101
    @Quib101 Před rokem +37

    As a Canadian we usually don't have guns as much as Americans, so this actually makes quite a lot of sense to have "Surviving Edged Weapons" as a official police training video.

    • @BOYHUNF
      @BOYHUNF Před 9 měsíci +2

      Except if you're in Alberta at least lol

    • @Quib101
      @Quib101 Před 9 měsíci

      @@BOYHUNF I live in Alberta... well in a more peaceful area tho

    • @HenryLarson-wq2xp
      @HenryLarson-wq2xp Před měsícem

      It makes sense for American cops too. People really do frequently use knives to commit crimes and attack others, even if a lot of people have guns as well.
      Or did you mean like, Canadian police doesn't have guns? That's the only way it could be more for them to watch this video than it is for any other cop

  • @ashwinkelly2523
    @ashwinkelly2523 Před 4 lety +1825

    Nothing is more like Christmas than edge based attacks

    • @uncay2769
      @uncay2769 Před 4 lety +8

      ahhh yes the perfect combination

    • @zaikolebolsh5724
      @zaikolebolsh5724 Před 4 lety +11

      Slavery and birth control of entire humanoid races, thats the true meaning of christmas

    • @Fvneral_moon
      @Fvneral_moon Před 4 lety +1

      @@zaikolebolsh5724 nah its edge based attacks i think

    • @realname3538
      @realname3538 Před 4 lety +3

      especially in the UK!

    • @draconianwarking
      @draconianwarking Před 4 lety +1

      They ought to start selling holiday themed chainmail shirts :P

  • @rtfnf
    @rtfnf Před 4 lety +15170

    Welcome to JonTron. Where every episode is a holiday special because he only uploads once every 5 months. Edit: This is a JOKE I’m JOKING stop getting so heated in the cooments

    • @keyshaun5015
      @keyshaun5015 Před 4 lety +63

      @Blue why

    • @yowatchie
      @yowatchie Před 4 lety +88

      Swearing Christian I mean he uploaded 19 videos last year so that’s a bit off.

    • @gabesgameplay7272
      @gabesgameplay7272 Před 4 lety +33

      Jack Nope

    • @owo9644
      @owo9644 Před 4 lety +7

      persicly

    • @gabesgameplay7272
      @gabesgameplay7272 Před 4 lety +11

      Jack Prob Not But Yeah Could Be A Chance You Just Said It Like It Happened Already

  • @pairashootpants5373
    @pairashootpants5373 Před rokem +13

    The sound of their socked feet as they "scanned" is just hilarious 😂

  • @Twelvedemon
    @Twelvedemon Před 4 měsíci +3

    Him screaming while firing the machine gun killed me 😂

  • @GregorianChatter
    @GregorianChatter Před 4 lety +3452

    Theory: Jon knew that 2020 was gonna be bad so he's now hiding in his 200 floored bunker made entirely out of flex tape and turduken.

  • @strawberrana
    @strawberrana Před 4 lety +4894

    It should be
    *Shoot* the bad guy
    *Evade* enemy attacks
    *Move* behind cover
    *Evaluate* the situation
    *Neutralize* remaining threats

    • @deadgodofneutrality7725
      @deadgodofneutrality7725 Před 4 lety +536

      Remember the things the academy taught us S.E.M.E.N beware of thrusting long hard objects

    • @mrbeaver6000
      @mrbeaver6000 Před 4 lety +264

      Semen saves lives.

    • @strawberrana
      @strawberrana Před 4 lety +173

      @@mrbeaver6000 Correction: S.E.M.E.N. saves lives

    • @glorbshlanky5041
      @glorbshlanky5041 Před 4 lety +189

      CJgamr01 Correction: S.E.M.E.N. creates lives

    • @KaeganThornhillTheCyberRaven
      @KaeganThornhillTheCyberRaven Před 4 lety +234

      If you're Officers of the Law always remember, Semen.
      S- Shoot First
      E- Evaluate later
      M- Maintain innocence
      E- Plant drugs
      N- News at 11

  • @kuru-kuru5867
    @kuru-kuru5867 Před 2 lety +14

    7:38 if you put them knife as a spear shaft, you got yourself a cosmic knife spear from Dead Money

  • @alderoth01
    @alderoth01 Před rokem +7

    The "SMENS" part got me 🤣! In the Army we just had Shoot, Move, Communicate 😆.

  • @he8598
    @he8598 Před 4 lety +2137

    It's been 2 months, I'm starting to think Jons fallen to an edge based attack.

    • @jameslew2804
      @jameslew2804 Před 4 lety +6

      Lol

    • @nichl474
      @nichl474 Před 4 lety +29

      "Jons"
      How many Jons are you talking about?

    • @WellCookedPotatoes
      @WellCookedPotatoes Před 4 lety +31

      Nichl
      Every jon tron video that we see is just a look at each alternate dimension that Jon exists in

    • @zacross8504
      @zacross8504 Před 4 lety +11

      No he was SMENS’d
      S - Shoot
      M -
      E -
      N -
      S -

    • @lantern_logic9676
      @lantern_logic9676 Před 4 lety +7

      @@zacross8504 D - Dead???

  • @nonamea9177
    @nonamea9177 Před 3 lety +2888

    Nothing like watching a Christmas special in august

  • @martinnoreallymartin3661
    @martinnoreallymartin3661 Před 2 měsíci +15

    This is.... 4 years old....

    • @bear1050
      @bear1050 Před 17 dny +1

      And Dollar Shave Club is even older..

    • @LordMcdonald
      @LordMcdonald Před 15 dny

      Please don’t remind me, I’m 19 but the last 3 years have made me feel way older😢

    • @naughtiusmaximus789
      @naughtiusmaximus789 Před 15 dny

      I love edging to my weapons!

  • @jairosimahan4986
    @jairosimahan4986 Před 4 měsíci +3

    Dont get me wrong, this content Jon got nowadays is awesome. But this one is my favorite.

  • @phranco5310
    @phranco5310 Před 3 lety +1598

    this is hilarious, a family friend who used to be in the Canadian police force actually showed me this exact tape before. They found a copy in storage at the police station and him and all his buddies laughed their asses off watching it

  • @moxxy3565
    @moxxy3565 Před 3 lety +2898

    "Jumping Jehovah James that's a scimtar he's got."
    My new favorite sentence.

    • @n1thecaptain965
      @n1thecaptain965 Před 2 lety

      Yes

    • @oriolejb9774
      @oriolejb9774 Před 2 lety +2

      I have to agree with you

    • @unprankable666
      @unprankable666 Před 2 lety +28

      My second favorite. For me, nothing will beat out, "And they hung in the air very much in the way that bricks don't."

    • @emeraldemperor2601
      @emeraldemperor2601 Před 2 lety +3

      I just wish it was "Jumping J. Jonah Jameson!"

    • @dionjaywoollaston1349
      @dionjaywoollaston1349 Před 2 lety +1

      That’s a first for me, I’ve heard of “jumping jehovah set” but not this one

  • @jacketylon
    @jacketylon Před rokem +11

    That laugh at 4:28 is amazing

  • @BurningAzure
    @BurningAzure Před 2 lety +4

    6:43-6:53, The chronicle.of a Type Moon fan.

  • @ayushsingha9414
    @ayushsingha9414 Před 4 lety +2185

    Things go from bad to horrible real quick.

    • @snepcheck2198
      @snepcheck2198 Před 4 lety +34

      sounds like my life during finals

    • @timmymctimson5543
      @timmymctimson5543 Před 4 lety +18

      Description of this entire channel

    • @biggisdickis2686
      @biggisdickis2686 Před 4 lety +17

      Right away I knew I was in deep shit

    • @ZJRLT
      @ZJRLT Před 4 lety +6

      To fucking horrendous real fucking quick 1st of all you're walking around the street then out of nowhere you get kidnapped then they pull a m16 on ya.

    • @gido9467
      @gido9467 Před 4 lety +3

      Realquick

  • @Generik97
    @Generik97 Před 3 lety +760

    6:06 "If you don't get him on the first shot, you've always got four more"
    *ejects round in chamber*

    • @TheKurtkapan34
      @TheKurtkapan34 Před 3 lety +84

      'I have 57 more rounds in this 4 round magazine'

    • @jbrooks124
      @jbrooks124 Před 3 lety +20

      @@TheKurtkapan34 A Gus Johnson quote on a Jontron video? Awesome!!

    • @calebnorth35
      @calebnorth35 Před 3 lety +1

      Same as ace here

    • @Damian_1989
      @Damian_1989 Před 3 lety +6

      Is there a specific police accent, or a reference i'm not getting? The way he says to stay CAHM before approaching the BAHDDIE

    • @jbrooks124
      @jbrooks124 Před 3 lety +11

      @@Damian_1989 the training video is Canadian, so he's trying to do a Canadian accent when playing the cop.

  • @cyborgninja5489
    @cyborgninja5489 Před 7 měsíci +7

    Jon's gun effects look really good.

  • @miyuruify
    @miyuruify Před 2 lety +8

    Love those old documentary narrator voices. so nostalgic.

  • @obergfamily9049
    @obergfamily9049 Před 3 lety +1115

    The "Knife Culture" set was so elaborate it wasn't worth the some 8 second joke.

    • @monolith253
      @monolith253 Před 3 lety +73

      Jon is very dedicated

    • @electricshield2184
      @electricshield2184 Před 3 lety +3

      @@monolith253 KONO DIO DA

    • @thespianmask8451
      @thespianmask8451 Před 3 lety +28

      Nah they just decided to film how they normally eat dinner every day. No biggie.

    • @Batchall_Accepted
      @Batchall_Accepted Před 3 lety +20

      Thats always kinda part of the joke to me though the amount of effort he puts into these 10-15 second throwaway bits

    • @demi-femme4821
      @demi-femme4821 Před 3 lety +9

      This is JonTron you're talking about, there's at least one of those in each episode

  • @Benthium
    @Benthium Před 4 lety +2048

    JonTron: Does this man just have a Claymore sitting in the corner of his house?
    Also Jontron: Has a sword right next to him in Real Ghosts

    • @joshuac.402
      @joshuac.402 Před 4 lety +31

      thats some modern warfare level stuff

    • @SpikeJet2736
      @SpikeJet2736 Před 4 lety +33

      You never know when Jason Voorhees might show up

    • @zom8680
      @zom8680 Před 4 lety +20

      Jon mentions claymore and I'm looking for a corner mine. Goddam COD

    • @zacross8504
      @zacross8504 Před 4 lety +12

      remember that time he was attacked by the scissor man? That’s why he keeps them around

    • @SpikeJet2736
      @SpikeJet2736 Před 4 lety +10

      @@zacross8504 gasp... not the scissor man

  • @TheAHuman
    @TheAHuman Před 2 měsíci +2

    This video will always be my favorite JonTron video, the quality of the jokes is on a different level than all the others.

  • @pengmaeda9908
    @pengmaeda9908 Před rokem +4

    Everyone: "Why do police officers always seem so on edge and trigger happy?"
    Training Videos: "BEWARE OF THE COMMON PEN KNIFER! THEY ARE EVERYWHERE HIDING IN THE SHADOWS JUST WAITING TO ATTACK! FEAR! FEAR! FEAR! FEAR!"

  • @dumbassweeb5702
    @dumbassweeb5702 Před 4 lety +1261

    “LADY TURN AROUND!!!!!”
    “Hail Satan!”
    “TURN AROUND!!!!!”
    *turns around with a knife, on knees, 50 feet away*
    *launches a nuke at the lady’s exact position*

    • @frostwickedpaw2218
      @frostwickedpaw2218 Před 4 lety +35

      Gatling gun, assault rifle with drum mags, grenade launcher, home made pipe bomb, acid jars, etc.... But nuke ...a bit excessive

    • @robertcapestany6019
      @robertcapestany6019 Před 4 lety +6

      @shameless furry Weird? Not really. Weard? Absolutely.

    • @lovaszaron3138
      @lovaszaron3138 Před 4 lety +2

      @@frostwickedpaw2218 Okay, then a mini-nuke.

    • @incog2532
      @incog2532 Před 4 lety +4

      TACTICAL NUKE INCOMING!!!!!

    • @fatmonke4774
      @fatmonke4774 Před 4 lety +2

      SMENS

  • @Mare_Man
    @Mare_Man Před 4 lety +279

    "Man's got an unquenchable thirst for thrustin'"
    -Jon, 2019

  • @neal_rigga90
    @neal_rigga90 Před 6 měsíci +5

    I know this video is 2 years old, but I'll have to show my kids this video every Xmas, just in case Santa gets wild in the upcoming years.

  • @carlwhy
    @carlwhy Před 2 lety +34

    Being a cook, I was irrationally infuriated during the knife culture skit that absolutely everything was overcooked.

  • @stockphotokoalabear
    @stockphotokoalabear Před 4 lety +2386

    Not Mike

  • @ronpaul5319
    @ronpaul5319 Před 3 lety +23514

    Huge Jontron fan. Had to leave a dislike though, everyone keeps surviving my edge based attacks now because they’ve seen this interesting and informative video

    • @PageofLegend
      @PageofLegend Před 3 lety +1276

      IKR?! My relentless flurry of edge-based attacks used to be so effective on random groups of people, but now they see it coming a mile away.

    • @collinchristensen7405
      @collinchristensen7405 Před 3 lety +271

      My Dad voted for you

    • @ElectricBarrier
      @ElectricBarrier Před 3 lety +354

      I used to crit 80% of the time, now I just keep getting MISSes. Thanks a lot JonTron.

    • @kareemmasri3934
      @kareemmasri3934 Před 3 lety +52

      @@collinchristensen7405 “SHUT UP, LARRY!!!!!!!” 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

    • @slasher2595
      @slasher2595 Před 3 lety +36

      yeah relatable

  • @oscardelarenta9647
    @oscardelarenta9647 Před 2 lety +4

    Police-Instructor Jon’s dialect is lowkey the funniest bit 😂 so on point!!

  • @codkiller2025
    @codkiller2025 Před rokem +9

    We're one minute in and Santa is shanking kids. God I love this channel

  • @pixelbucket8884
    @pixelbucket8884 Před 4 lety +751

    It's a little funny knowing that someone in JonTron's editing team now has "angry asian baby" and "knife png" in their search history.

    • @user-hh3wr8wh9x
      @user-hh3wr8wh9x Před 4 lety +7

      Oh my God, is Jontron on hiatus again? I swear this man is like Hunter x Hunter

    • @ZaJaClt
      @ZaJaClt Před 4 lety +2

      production value is amazing

    • @m4d_b0t88
      @m4d_b0t88 Před 4 lety +2

      I'm laughing at this too much this is so funny you're a comedy genius!!!!! Also I think those 2 pictures are in the files of the potential threat.

    • @Mr.Mousey
      @Mr.Mousey Před 4 lety

      I think for THOSE kinds of searches you would be using private browser

    • @rainbowsparkle122
      @rainbowsparkle122 Před 4 lety

      @@user-hh3wr8wh9x trust me being a long time jontron fan it dosnt surprise me anymore it's probably going to be about a year till he returns

  • @jordantheoneandonly3880
    @jordantheoneandonly3880 Před 4 lety +1239

    I like how Jon credited himself as “dead meme” at the end

  • @ethanhill5973
    @ethanhill5973 Před rokem +31

    am i the only one that noticed that the airport guy at 8:33 had a butterfly knife with handles that look like pens

  • @ianp7383
    @ianp7383 Před 2 lety +7

    *Detroit Urban Survival wants to know your location*

  • @Nothingness886
    @Nothingness886 Před 4 lety +1502

    "SMENS" sounds like a some sentence spliced gibberish heard in YTPs.

  • @stealthbeatle4945
    @stealthbeatle4945 Před 3 lety +2103

    *S* - Shoot
    *M* - More Shooting
    *E* - Even More Shooting
    *N* - Nine Thousand More Shots
    *S* - Start Again!

    • @slavsterchief6224
      @slavsterchief6224 Před 3 lety +45

      You sir deserve a Popeye's chicken sandwich

    • @JohnWick-sd3fd
      @JohnWick-sd3fd Před 3 lety +10

      You sir deserve a sub

    • @RealSkutti
      @RealSkutti Před 3 lety +51

      Now thats the American way.

    • @NathanielVCatan
      @NathanielVCatan Před 3 lety +5

      This technique is so effective, that it is versatile for various situation. one of which is murder and armed robbery

    • @cenizafranciskarlempleo8-a745
      @cenizafranciskarlempleo8-a745 Před 3 lety +8

      Its supposed to be
      S-Shoot
      M-More shooting
      E-Even more shooting
      N-Nine more shots
      S-Start again

  • @user-ko2qr3dg8z
    @user-ko2qr3dg8z Před 11 měsíci +2

    I love how quickly Jon turns on James Phillips for no reason at all 😂

  • @pmn3120
    @pmn3120 Před rokem +1

    Unironically one of my favourite clips from jontron at 10:05

  • @TotallyAwesomeWrestlingTAW
    @TotallyAwesomeWrestlingTAW Před 4 lety +1742

    “What constitutes as knife culture?” Living in London

  • @xxXrainburnsXxx
    @xxXrainburnsXxx Před 4 lety +2336

    “And when the world needed him most, he disappeared...”

  • @thegrimcritic5494
    @thegrimcritic5494 Před 2 lety +2

    9:38
    The “Hail Satan” bit makes me lose it every time, I swear.

  • @xavierjohn495
    @xavierjohn495 Před rokem +2

    Evaluate part of smens is my favorite Jon tron segment of all time that face he makes is just perfect, and the casual “yeah I shot him” kills me evrrytine

  • @mcbadrobotvoice8155
    @mcbadrobotvoice8155 Před 4 lety +955

    *Edge based attacks*
    I hear those kind of attacks are popular with the teenagers these days

    • @mrmach6867
      @mrmach6867 Před 4 lety

      Riifbioh

    • @hoovy2319
      @hoovy2319 Před 4 lety +12

      Damn kids and their Vidjea Games

    • @ellisellis3141
      @ellisellis3141 Před 4 lety +12

      I here the popular kind of knives are throwing knives! Lol tho they never address thrown edged weapons lol like throwing stars but they address razor baseball caps!

    • @Demi-Joker
      @Demi-Joker Před 4 lety +1

      I hear the attackers always wear black

    • @winds5011
      @winds5011 Před 4 lety +2

      ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  • @rulthariuz
    @rulthariuz Před 3 lety +1651

    “This guy just have a fucking claymore?”
    Me: “Doesn’t everyone?”

    • @oksomynameisjeff4212
      @oksomynameisjeff4212 Před 3 lety +20

      weebeaos keep them but for useless reasons perhaps

    • @farawaygaming_
      @farawaygaming_ Před 3 lety +67

      @@oksomynameisjeff4212 no, weebs have katanas. Real men have claymores

    • @killerkirby366
      @killerkirby366 Před 3 lety +30

      @@farawaygaming_ real women have claymores strapped to katanas

    • @MikeKnight009
      @MikeKnight009 Před 3 lety +16

      @@farawaygaming_ Men have claymores, John Wick has a pencil.

    • @mattleo3211
      @mattleo3211 Před 3 lety +19

      @@farawaygaming_
      Weebs have katanas, snobby westerners have claymores, but REAL men, do you know what they have? A FLAMBERGE.

  • @schmee9025
    @schmee9025 Před 2 lety +5

    3:25 breaking bad lookin different...

  • @scaredandconfused
    @scaredandconfused Před 2 lety +3

    12:35
    This entire credits scene had me choking on air

  • @pauljames6303
    @pauljames6303 Před 4 lety +1353

    I’m sorry but...
    A BASEBALL CAP WITH RAZORBLADES???

    • @QX3R01
      @QX3R01 Před 4 lety +219

      Yeah how dare those uncultured swine's mock speedwagon by using a cap

    • @alpine1600s
      @alpine1600s Před 4 lety +14

      Raiders and Cowboys fans have the edgiest caps! 🤯

    • @askgoverntale2298
      @askgoverntale2298 Před 4 lety +1

      OFF

    • @It-Will-All-Be-Okay-I-Promise
      @It-Will-All-Be-Okay-I-Promise Před 4 lety +40

      Typically used in disputes involving SpeedWeed

    • @mr.cordero5593
      @mr.cordero5593 Před 4 lety +41

      They also show off in the movie a razor blade on a driver license and a guy throwing shurikens at a cop too.

  • @kieranhj8759
    @kieranhj8759 Před 4 lety +942

    Little Child: “Santa, I knew your were real!”
    Santa: “Shhhh, no witnesses.”
    *Bang*

  • @edgusmus7882
    @edgusmus7882 Před 2 lety +5

    Ah, perfect, the best christmas video to both fire up the holiday spirit and survive santa

  • @jabble__
    @jabble__ Před rokem +3

    Actually, shooting doesn't necessarily neutralize the criminal. People are scary, man. Some can still be up and moving after a mag dump to the chest.

  • @boofedstew9201
    @boofedstew9201 Před 4 lety +628

    “THAT KNIFE IS FULLY LOADED”

    • @strangent404a7
      @strangent404a7 Před 4 lety +21

      SHIT MY KNIFE JAMMED

    • @XRobotWarriorX
      @XRobotWarriorX Před 4 lety +12

      All I imagined is a knife with a gun mag taped on

    • @Cybetrexs
      @Cybetrexs Před 4 lety +4

      @@XRobotWarriorX have you seen the pics of the ghetto kids trying to look gangsta with guns by adding unnecessary attachments to em? One guy did it by taping what looked like a 24 or 33 round glock mag taped to a snub-nose smith and wesson revolver

    • @Ben-yd7hb
      @Ben-yd7hb Před 4 lety +7

      MY KNIFES OUT OF AMMO, COVER ME

    • @Cybetrexs
      @Cybetrexs Před 4 lety +2

      @@Ben-yd7hb IM DRY, COVER ME

  • @RealCoolstriker64
    @RealCoolstriker64 Před 4 lety +538

    “Potential threat”
    “British”
    “Dead meme”
    best credits. I m ded

    • @Sonichero151
      @Sonichero151 Před 4 lety +15

      The British was the most important cast member

    • @MikeLezamaOro
      @MikeLezamaOro Před 4 lety +8

      Don't forget Mike tho

    • @ImmaLittlePip
      @ImmaLittlePip Před 4 lety +5

      @@MikeLezamaOro
      Hey I'm mike
      And I'm not so mike

    • @ghw1985
      @ghw1985 Před 4 lety +1

      as a mike this is accurate, always Mike A and Mike B

  • @RustoKomuska
    @RustoKomuska Před rokem +6

    That part where Jon writes a parking ticket was the best

  • @J___0926
    @J___0926 Před měsícem +2

    It breaks me every time when he tries swinging his candy cane at the glass of milk and misses the first swing😂😂

  • @flameguy8025
    @flameguy8025 Před 4 lety +1296

    Don’t worry guys, he’s not dead. He is just working on flex tape 3: Revenge of the bucket.

    • @taylorwood7869
      @taylorwood7869 Před 4 lety +25

      flameguy this time its personal

    • @lemonlemonlemons8540
      @lemonlemonlemons8540 Před 4 lety +13

      I genuinely want that to happen... It would make me so happy for another Flextape episode...

    • @josephcook2164
      @josephcook2164 Před 4 lety +5

      @@lemonlemonlemons8540 there is even a new product

    • @zippy9752
      @zippy9752 Před 4 lety +8

      Flex tape 3: Invasion of the Chickens

    • @natashamosokito5080
      @natashamosokito5080 Před 4 lety +9

      Suffered an injury from an edge based attack? FLEX TAPE BAM! Problem solved. No more bleeding.

  • @wills4141
    @wills4141 Před 4 lety +304

    Completely appropriate response to some dude without a badge claiming to be a "cop" and yelling "police department, come answer the doooooor"!

    • @MickGallJr
      @MickGallJr Před 4 lety +2

      Hippity Hoppity Get off my Property.

  • @AmaticXLII
    @AmaticXLII Před rokem +3

    "THE BEST POLICE TRAINING FILM EVER MADE!"
    (Has a four star rating)

  • @littlebigcomrade
    @littlebigcomrade Před rokem +1

    I wish he’d bring back the intro, was so good.