I Hate My Husband - What To Do Next
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- čas přidán 8. 07. 2021
- If you are a woman out there and feel like you do not have those same feelings of love and affection as you used to have towards your husband, and in fact, you feel like you may resent or even say, "I hate my husband;" then this is for you.
Resentment at its core is when people feel that they have an unmet need or desire. Unmet needs or desires lead those feelings of positivity and warmness and love and comfort towards a person to turn into feelings of negativity and push them away.
When you choose to see your husband as the enemy, continue to hold the grudges, and not deal with them, you may begin to say something like, "I hate my husband." Then, you can easily start to justify your behaviors and how you treat him, even when that will not be the best outcome for your marriage.
We have even helped marriages in situations like yours, where you're thinking, "How could I ever feel the love and compassion towards my husband when I hate my husband?" We have helped couples overcome that and learn to overcome the resentment and love each other again, even more than they loved each other on their wedding day.
Hate begins to happen when the passion part of love goes awry. So when we think of love, that passionate part of it is the one that can increase the quickest or decrease the fastest because it's very much based on emotions, the desire for oneness. So if you were to look at it on a scale, if the positive were to be passionate, when it gets below that line and goes negative, that's what can become hate.
Apathy is the opposite of love. Apathy is the absence of feeling any intimacy, any commitment, or any passion towards your husband. So often, when we enter into that space of resentment, if we don't fix that, we can quickly become apathetic.
That is when your marriage is in trouble. When you begin to have no more feelings towards your spouse, where you don't care what happens to them, what they choose to do, you shut yourself off completely, and you've become numb. If you feel like you have entered into a space of apathy, either you or your husband, then you don't need to wait any longer to do something now.
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We can't wait to speak with you directly. ❤️
My wife is open to do the workshop but only if it's in spanish😫
I'm back to square one. Please pray for my marriage. My wife is manipulated by her family.
What if what you need already went by and caused extreme pain that can’t be fixed.
Nothing should be done about it. Hate is the only real emotion. Everything else is just faked so you can manipulate someone.
Link is not working for me
I feel resentment towards my husband for many different reasons. In the past year he has turned totally against me and belittles me and mentally abuses me. Then he tries to be intimate with me but I just have no attraction towards him because of the way he is treating me. Its like he is playing head games and I do not feel like I have any say so or control over the way he treats me. All I want to do is get away I do not even care if I am left homeless at this point. This is sad but true.
@WVWoman Thank you for the idea appreciate it :)
I dont know ur siituation. My wife is doing most likely the same as ur husband. Listen to video again we all have a part to play in marriage breakdown. Look inside ourselfs and if we take responsability for our own actions it will also affect the interactions around us. Blessings
@@Michael-en3yl Thanks for the advice appreciate it!
You are not alone. I like to divert my attention to other priorities in life like my son and some hobbies.
Omg this is my story too, sending hugs, how did you deal with it, did you get away?
I married a useless man. I’m saving up so I can leave him eventually. I’m done trying
same girl same!!!! hugs
I feel you, sister.
Same here. I really dislike mine I love my children but wish that I didn’t have to deal with him
Useless… in what way… he was useless before or after you married?
@@constantinmilitaru after....
I thought this will help but what ever she says.... I still hate my husband.... And regret the day I married.....
Me too! I'm just digusted with him every day!
Same here
@@angie3464 Yup. I'm working out in the basement and pretty much dreak going upstairs. He came home yelling and stammering because he hasn't had any sales in 90 days. I can't stand these outbursts annd he claims to be Christian.
Me, too. I hate my husband
Well now my anger issues subsides.... Im no longer angry or hateful towards my husband.... Hope this is just a phase we can get thru....
I'm in a point where i don't even have the strength to hate anymore... I'm so tired of being manipulated and isolated I just want to vanish.
I know of a man who helped me bring my ex back he can also heIp you just as he did mine, he does a perfect work I'm assuring you, you gonna testify
✛𝟮𝟯𝟰9060958203(☉｡☉)!
Wh'sapp him now For help
I know what you mean. I think I would like a golden girl scenario... purchase a large home somewhere and have like minded women live there.
Same. Feeling unvalued, isolated and stuck makes one so sad and frustrated, that the thought of just vanishing seems so desirable sometimes
I can't stand my partner. How many times do I need to reinvent myself for someone who keeps hurting me. The cheating lie, and I just need to get over it. He makes me sick when he laughs at my pain. He is my biggest mistake. I dont care how he feels. Im trying to find myself again. He can go do him.
I hate my husband. I'm here for the benefits if we get divorced. I plan to stay until the kids graduate. I'm getting my education now bc I stayed at home to raise the kids I can't believe I went for that.
Hey im in similar boat. Was there infidelity?
@@soup394 His Father really ruined our relationship. They aren't Americans and his father always would say he needed to control me. It's a very very long story but his father would bring women to the house to "get his attention" I'm just soooo angry.
My husband is America and his family was, is, 180° out from anyone I have ever known. I was told I AM JUST A DEDUCTUON, on taxes. Not a friend.JUST a wife.
I did the same thing with my first marriage. It turned into a 5 year plan and I was outta there. Best decision I ever made. Marriages are not easy to get out of, for sure.
@@mirrorimage3337 That's AWFUL.
It's hard to forgive someone who continually does the same thing (lying). It's also hard to forgive him for not stepping up when I need him to address his family (mostly his brother) about disrespecting my home.
No. He chose himself. He left me bankrupt and alone. But I'm supposed to take care of everything else while he "survives". I'm done after 25 agonizing years
Not going to forgive him. That's the problem I forgive him every single time and nothing changes
same!! 100% but he is abusive and will hurt me :(
This is nonsense. My husband love bombed me and within the first few months of marriage completely checked. I did nothing to cause it. Nothing. And have tried everything. After 20 years of severe neglect, emotional & psychological abuse I’m done. I’m his third wife. Sometimes it’s just the man.
How does this work with a narcissistic partner who constantly gas lights you ?
It doesn't she's talking outta her @ss professionally and in complete disrespect
It doesn't. Same here and you cannot trust someone who lies all the time, yells and screams and calls you names. Then acts like nothing happened.
I started with total indifference towards him and I have steadily moved towards detest and repulsion with weeks and weeks of apathy towards him. Then I have to talk to him and the repulsion and detest follows for several days. And the cycle repeats. I don't think I will ever have any kind of wifely feelings for him. Ever.
I feel the same as you. We don't have kids but I'm just existing. I agree with your description of repulsion as I'll look at him sometimes and be so grossed out. Mine is just dirty and I'm his maid to clean up after him and I'm just miserable so I escape with working out and doing my best to make plans with some friends. I just can't stand him and can't keep denying how I feel about this man but staying together out of guilt and the oath I took when we got married so I'll just exist until we are no longer together. I'm glad I'm not alone.
I just caught my loser husband trying to get into my stock account. Then he became aggressive and angry. I'm done. 40 years of this.
Ok but what you’ve started to hate him because you’ve repeatedly told him your needs and he is apathetic to me as a person in general? And he only “needs” me to fulfill the function of caretaker of the home and children. And all he wants to be is a paycheck.
I needed to see this. I started to feel justified if I had an affair. That’s not even the type of woman I am but I’m fed up and on my way out the door.
You aren't who you use to be.
Same, I'm not attracted to him anymore, I thought I will never again be able to touch any man. Until our neighbor moved in.. Oh my.. You know that feeling, butterflies, I felt first time after years. And now I know it's problem in him. He let himself go, and just a tough about being intimate with him makes me disgusted..
Nothing should be done about it. Hate is the only real emotion. Everything else is just faked so you can manipulate someone.
An "affair" is never the answer.
i left him, i moved to another country with my children and left him behind! the best decision of my life. we are still married and communicate but from different countries, i have no feelings towards that man.
@@landajimmy its odd for you to assume she talks negatively about him in front of her kids. Maybe you are projecting something that happened to you onto her
my goal😭
@@lillie3289??
I hate my husband because he keeps expecting me to put him first. I’ve experienced something horrible and he got angry that I called j hi I’m to tell him what happened because he was asleep. He was more worried about his sleep than me. He gets everything he wants. I don’t even feel attracted to him anymore. I hate him
Problem is never had those feelings...like ever. Was pressured into getting married to him. I married a locked box and was never able to find the key.
Pressured?
I can relate so much! It didn’t help that he made sure to bring my whole family into town just to witness the proposal.
When your dealing with someone with a personality disorder I don't think you can ever have a normal marriage BCS the other person has too many problems to even see your side of the situation.
I know of a man who helped me bring my ex back he can also heIp you just as he did mine, he does a perfect work I'm assuring you, you gonna testify
✛𝟮𝟯𝟰9060958203(☉｡☉)!
Wh'sapp him now For help
Agree. Some people are TRULY incapable of insight and completely lacking empathy for their partner/family.
agreed - my husband has mental health issues and then i find myself holding things in bc i don't want to make him feel worse... this has snowballed into a disasterous situation. my husband lives in a bubble, completely isolated from reality and thinks he does no wrong. i acknowledge my part in this problem but i don't know how to fix it.
If counseling was affordable maybe people wouldn't wait so long to get help.
EXACTLY!
THIS was no help....I promise you
My husband has destroyed any hope in me He makes me wish i was never even born because all i an to hin is a servant and his emotional dump but if i need him, then im a problem. I cant go on anymore 😞
So for years he has dismissed my options and after I went back to school he all of a sudden now wants to be a good husband. I've been lied to for years and I don't trust him. He hasn't done anything to show I can trust him. 16 years and it seems pointless at this point. He just wants me to stay home and rear our kids. Cook and clean. We haven't had fun in years... Not that he would plan anything anyways... Because he doesn't. Forgive? I get to do all the work of moving past his behavior and no significant work on his part seems like a losing situation where I'm still hurt and no joy left.
Glad you went back to school! I hope it allows you your freedom!
My husband is a selfish person that put me last above everybody else. Goes on vacation by his self and leaves me and our kids behind. I am just a housemaid at this point. My mom told me years ago to just get a dog and life my life I should have listen.
😢
I hate my mother in law ...I dont want revenge . I want to never see that effing lady again
Same
Omg same here she’s a dig
Hi lucy! Its the same with me i hate both my mother in law and my sister in law there is no one i can talk to, can we talk or connect. I hate them both so much they are the reason for 90% problems in my marriage.
Want revenge!
omg... this is a year late....for your comment...but I hated my mother in law- she was so horrible...it was the best thing about my divorce- not having to ever look at her again.
I feel resentment towards my partner and I dont think they will ever change unless we are apart.
Hey taneisha blair, so sorry to hear you are going through this. Because of the complexity of this situation, we would strongly advise you reach out to us directly! You can call us at 1 (866) 903 0990 and be connected with one of our Client Representatives who will guide you to the best resources we have available for your situation. You can also schedule the call yourself for a time that works best for you by following this link: marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/
We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!
Why is it that industries with a financial benefit in keeping couples together by means of counseling and therapy always insist the wife somehow brought her spouse's treatment upon herself? I have never met a woman who hated her husband for any reason that wasn't because he was abusing her. Look, if you are seeking out videos like this, please seek out narcissism videos instead.
Exactly. Notice how these videos and services are usually advertised towards the wife? Goes to show husbands don't try to solve a lot of these issues, and businesses KNOW this.
The issues are far beyond counseling if one partner refuses to acknowledge there's a problem in the first place. There is no solution but to leave.
TRUE THAT!!!! I'm so happy I saw your comment... I just commented to someone that this is so very not helpful... it's so biased...and offers the woman an opportunity to "change" to please the man who can then use this useful tool of cold treatment every time she misbehaves.... these guys cannot be pleased...they are NPD's.... we are codependent... we married the people who gave us that low vibration emotional treatment... like our parents did.
@@saffronskies333
" Like our parents did?" I don't understand.
My husband has a severe comprehension problem. Also a form of narcolepsy. Sleep apnea and is so obese. He is a locked box. 2.5 decades!
like kicking a dead horse, isn't it?
He didn't cheat because of her being controlling. He was going to cheat no matter what. Cheating is only the cheaters fault. That's all on him. And I will go as far to say that her intuition probably picked up on his ability to cheat early on and tried to prevent it by being controlling.
This is very true!
Agree
I soooo agree with you. There is no excuse to cheat. He should have asked for counselling or separated.
He broke his vows. Vows are sacred
I talked til I was blue in the face, I actually became part of blue man group
Wh'stapp me
Did you really? The group still kicking?
@@infinity.1111 I had to throw in a little humor and a pun to a frustrating situation that never changed
Lol
@@Seekdnb I agree I did my absolute best for 37 years.
My partner is so emotionally immature & dramatic- it’s disgusting
Are we dating the same person?
All three of us?? 🤔 🤣
Yes I hate him! I can’t stand the sight of him.
Who are Their MOTHERS who allowed monsters like this to treat their spouse so badly??? What kind of fathers modeled this behavior???
I never saw it coming.
Nothing should be done about it. Hate is the only real emotion. Everything else is just faked so you can manipulate someone. You are the disgusting one.
I feel like you completely lied to me, he said why he divorced his last wife because he was doing all these amazing things and never got credit for him. But he doesn't do a d*** thing now. I'm thinking hes a liar.
No...I'm pretty sure I hate him at this point. We have our kids...and he is so neglectful and emotionally abusive towards them...that I have started to hate him.
Try reading Enough is Enough by Dr. David Clarke...it tells how to plan a way of escape if you and the kids need to be away from him to be safe or have a break.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being honest.
So you’re allowing your husband to mistreat your children?!
@@detroitwarrior888 she sounds more desperate to me I feel sorry for the kids
@@detroitwarrior888 don't blame her for his actions
My love changed to hate 😑
I so feel her resentment. Also detest comes to mind.
After almost 30 years, I'm starting to hate my husband. It all started for years ago when he convinced me to move into his mother's house. He's always on her side. She goes out of her way to make me feel like shit about myself. I hate living here and I just want to go back home. I'm always the bad guy in every scenario and I'm just not going to win. The problem is, I have nowhere to go. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'm so unhappy. I miss my house that he made me sell. I miss all my friends and my family--what's left of it. I just feel like I have no way out.
It's like a prison
How are you now?
@@vani7493 yes it's goden prison.. Where not a single person understand your feeling,, there are people everywhere who think being good daughter inlaw and wife is only a good person, who tries to act Diffrentely becomes vamp in everybody's eyes..
Nothing should be done about it. Hate is the only real emotion. Everything else is just faked so you can manipulate someone.
In my case, my husband is too controlling for more than 15years today!! I do not have any strength left to endure. Hence i am not interested in saving the marriage. I just want us to go our seperate ways and i just love him from a distance through prayers. His controlling attitude makes him a very toxic person and not pleasant to be around. My kids are the only reason why i choose to be in this relationship. But i truly wish to be out of this cage called marriage
A lot of time one of the spouses is a narcissist so it most definitely one sided , as they would never change
I've been married for 30 years and have Never Loved my husband. I've Never been physically attracted to him and he has No Personality. Now, I'm just miserable, but I don't have any money to leave the marriage. I allowed myself to become totally dependent on him for money.
Why did you marry him then?
@@deborahrouse5644 he kept on asking?
@@saffronskies333
Well, that's certainly not a good reason!
@@deborahrouse5644 I couldn't come up with better speculation....as to why....
Once a man treats me badly enough that I lose my feelings for him, that clown can hit the road, because those feelings will never, ever come back... I know how I want to be treated and how I don't. AND if he stops loving me because I did this or didn't do that... so be it... bye bye
I get this mild impression she wants us to use her services, I dunno I can't be certain.
You're so well spoken Emily! 👏 gooood video and breakdown.
But some of that is my fault as well, I didn't see the red flags I just believed him.
Me I'm in the stage of apathy
Me too, I no longer care if you're there or not. I'm working on myself and finding my joy
Me too!
I totally relate to this! Thank you I really feel seen.
I have finally broken down and bawled my eyes out and told him what was wrong, how he's hurting me, how exhausted I am with carrying the load of our life and emptiness and he let me know if I didn't like how he yelled and treated me then I just need to do better. That I need to shut up and take care of whatever is bothering me or don't complain when he let's me have it if I bring it to him
It’s not you, it’s him. Try to find a way out. Plan quietly.
Yes, listen toMary. You deserve better. Take care of yourself, Dear!
Sometimes I think they make us fear being homeless
This is what I'm going through too. I am so scared of leaving this relationship because of our daughter.
You mean you're afraid that you might lose your daughter?
@@anitaleo97 yeah
Where are you at now? I hope that you are in a better place with your little girl. It sounds like you are trapped and it is a horrible feeling. I hope you are doing well...
@@saffronskies333 i left the marriage, after he became violent. had to start life from scratch, i only have a bed and clothes.
thanks but I toldy husband but he tells me in my face he does not care and I am ungrateful,
At least she actually realized. So many people lack self awareness.
This!
In this video I heard so many facts that we both experienced, I just hope she can actuality listen and not just hear the words. Sometimes I feel it’s to late and other times I still feel it’s not, so confused. I can only pray!
In our case the pain which I felt for long time because of you and asked you to stop and go to therapist which possibly could help us that and you never listened and continue hurting me more and more and then when I survived and told you that I don’t want to be with you anymore now you are going to therapist and trying to change my opinion about you because you became another man, better man and I am glad for you and hope in future you will find another woman with whom you will be happy because you will give her all love and care which you didn’t give me and you will never hurt her like you did with me BUT you need to understand and except that our marriage is over because YOU killed my feelings to YOU! I don’t want to be with you and I am not agreed for marriage therapy even though you asked me for this many times just because I DON’T HAVE Feeling of love for you anymore! You can’t put together broken cup because there is no cup anymore!
Be happy , healthy and GOD bless you!
Just please let me go and be happy again without you! I let you communicate with my son , who calls you father and I will be happy for you both if you continue care about each other and see each other like father and son. Please only don’t hurt him and he will be in your life as long as you both wants but YOU and ME as husband and wife are OVER !
I hear you!!!
Thanks for the valuable info you shared.!
why is it always the woman's fault. it's insane
yes, he expressly will not do or respond to my requests. Not demands, requests. I've tried different ways of asking. I don't think there's anything else that can be done.
if you are asking nicely not rude or demanding; and he still does not respond, then it sounds like he never grew up into an adult and is still a child. so if you cant live with him then just separate; live separately go on with your life. sooner or later he will fall into the sex sin, then you can just get a divorce, and next time hook up with an adult not a child man.
You are right
This channel is amazing! The ONLY ones I see promoting a healthy marital unions in a positive & realistic approach. All while the rest of the world encourages you to throw in the towel and discard the person you vowed to love through sickness and in health. Keep up the great work Marriage Helper! ❤
Well said...100%accurate statement. 🏆🏆🏆🏆
100% agree with you
Thank you so much for these kind words. It's our mission to save marriages and strengthen families. We are so glad to hear that other people are on board with our goals! Blessings,
Nothing should be done about it. Hate is the only real emotion. Everything else is just faked so you can manipulate someone.
you have to realize when you're kicking a dead horse
I hate being the last in my husband's priority list.he keeps telling me to serve his parents,smile at their taunts and behave like their daughter.these things have created resentment within me for him.
If you feel like you want to kick him out of a moving vehicle and get him out of your life? 😥😳
Exactly. I hate him at this point.
Your wisdom and support helped me a lot
In our family husband and wife loves each other till last breath whatever circumstances maybe that's why in last 50 years no divorce
I am rejected, he wont let me in
If my wife is doesn't not love me it's ok but I will love her till my last breath because she is my heart and soul
It was the other way around it was my husband, hes very controlling of me and doesnt listening to me. Im put in the background, i should be first not him!
All I want is my hubs to make more $$. He has been very mean and has been controlling ever since we had a serious talk about it.
It’s like me asking him to work harder has turned him evil towards me. He thinks I’m cheating on him too.
Thank you
Wait! How did that couple end up?
Great advice. Great quality information. Just an only friendly remark: Please edit the verb "receive." It is misspelled.
Great video. Love this channel. Trying to get my wife to engage with you / us for help. FYI just trying to help. See spelling error. Recieve vs receive towards the end of the video.
I mean i do think its not ok that your husabnd didnt want to spend any time with you
I have apathy for sure I just want nothing to do with him
I hate my spouse because he is still married to his mom.
The WOMAN had insight. The other person has to have an ability to self reflect, or show insight.
What if the resentment you have towards your husband is due to being physically, emotionally, verbally, and psychological abuse? I think the resentment is fair.
She has brain washed him and he only listens to her, not me im not even liked he says
Pointless. But good business strategy
Woah! Way to blame the woman!! Maybe she started feeling his emotionally distance-so she started distancing herself?? Men biologically want to be with different women and get tired of their wife. Once he leaves emotionally you can't bring him back around. How can your ever trust him again to be sincere?
Biologically?
Rubbish
Can this be gender neutral? Effects both people
Oh you're so very clever!!!! Has your husband had multiple affairs even if you'd done everything possible????
This is how I was treated for over three decades not to mention her flirting and triangulating all the time now I'm divorcing her listen to this ladies of you don't want to start all over.
This works the other way around too..."I hate my wife"
Do you still hate her???
@@rp2099 ..ok,..I don't hate her, but sure as hell hate what she did...and even if I somehow "contributed to her actions" the sheer humiliation won't let me see myself goin back...looking to the world (and myself) like some happy cuckold jerk...hey, but that's just me...I'm aware that many couples can get past this, and successfully move on.
He forced me to have an abortion two weeks after my father died. And I complied. I will carry that regret for the rest of my life. I resent the living s*** out of him.
Forced?
marriage husband those words, not asking for help, its just those words
I was like this before I know who can he:lp you out text he now. He can solve your problems:: don't waste your time here: you can get ex back::+:1:9:7:2:5:3:4:8:3:9:9 whatzzp me
I been really mean to my man for 20 years he hasn't wanted me to merry him by now he asked me to merry him tomorrow I would say NO
???
Je tiens toujours mes compromis avec surtout avec beaucoup de sincérité honnête et loyauté avec du respect absolue pour l'être humaines et c'est ca que je veut en retour avec qui que soient sincèrement
Dame everyone… hating on husbands… in the comments
I know of wives so wicked and rotten inside that they trapped their husbands into making the women revenge dreams a reality. These men usually have no personality and the women is his brain, she being the one who makes him do things. Even so, its horrible how some failed marriages only continue because the wife blackmails the men with her misery. Alegria and Justinian area known case fron russian television
Sorry. Strongly disagree!!
Click bait title. You put the blame on the wife in the beginning. Thumb down
The truth is man need respect from wife not love. Once respect is gone so is the relationship, move on better than fix it.
Here I thought they needed both!
Wrong.
Hey @tajtagore4117, thank you for your comment. However, we disagree. We believe there is ALWAYS hope for a marriage no matter what. If you have had a bad experience in the past that has caused you to feel this way, we understand wholeheartedly. But there is always hope. If you change your mind and decide you would like to seek help for your marriage, we would love to talk to you and will always remain a safe place for you. You can call us directly at 1 866 903 0990 if you'd like to chat. Blessings,
You hate your husband? Get a divorce
She married a poor man 😂 😂😂😂
I feel resentment towards this lady in this video. What kind of bullshit is she spewing? She keeps repeating herself and saying that we don’t communicate with our respective spouses and that’s what cause resentment. Um lady, you are way off base. I don’t even know your name. I skipped it because you introduced yourself in the middle of the video like it was some kind of fucking advertisement. Get over yourself.
"How to stay with your narcissistic husband"
I don’t like him anymore because he acts like a snake in the grass.
I wonder if women are ever encouraged to acknowledge that they are wrong and thus earnestly apologize for their wrong and unhealthy behavior in words and or behavior to their fiance or husband? This woman didn't give any encouragement to men by explaining that the fiancee or wife will be humble and wise to apologize to her husband
Franky, this is a bunch of BS.
Très important oui d'accord a ce point de vue
Nothing should be done about it. Hate is the only real emotion. Everything else is just faked so you can manipulate someone.