Ren X Chinchilla - How To Be Me (Live) REACTION | My Most Emotional Reaction? (Lyme & MCAS Warrior)
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- čas přidán 5. 09. 2023
- We're back to some regular reaction content, and this time I'm reacting and breaking down "How To Be Me" by Ren and Chinchilla. This is possibly my most emotional reaction yet. It cuts so deep, and hit me on a viscerally relatable level.
You all were NOT lying when you said this one would be difficult. I regret nothing, but my gosh, I couldn't hold myself together.
Take care of yourselves, friends. This world needs YOU. 💕
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My husband passed away almost 3 years ago. He had cancer and passed away at our home. We were married for over 33 years and had less than 8 weeks' notice to say goodbye. Not enough time. Going to bed is the hardest part of my day. The second hardest part is getting back out of that bed the next day. I do have a chronic illness as well. I have had 5 major spine surgeries, and I have PKD. I love Ren. I think maybe I started healing when I first heard him sing "Hi Ren" last January. I since spend almost every evening listening to Ren and reactions of Ren. I feel like each Ren song has been a stepping stone. I revisit as needed. I am not healed yet, but I feel some small amount of hope, even through tears.
Oh friend, I am so sorry to hear about your pain (both mental and physical). Thank you for taking time to share just part of your story with me. I’m so glad to hear Ren’s music has been a source of healing and catharsis for you, I know that’s been the case for me as well. Sometimes those small amounts of hope are actually bigger and more valuable than more obvious, “major” signs of hope-holding into those seemingly smaller moments and feelings can make all the difference. Sending you so much love and compassion.💕
Sue, My husband passed away suddenly two years ago on 9/22, two weeks shy of our 35th anniversary. It's still so hard every single day. I, too, listen to Ren & reactions daily. Laughing, dancing, or crying - is all cathartic and healing. I don't know how I would have made it without Ren. Sending you love and sympathy. Hugs for you. 💛
So sorry to hear of your loss and your health struggles. I agree it’s hard to go to bed when you know the days are flowing away and someone will be leaving; and there is nothing you can do about it. Then equally as hard to repeatedly get back up again when the person you’ve entwined your life with is gone. We have to trust that our love ones are only gone in life, but not in spirit. Wanting and grasping is the state of human’s suffering, but it is so difficult not to want to grab a loved one and not let them go. Both in life, in life ever after; and in the life-spirit of the universe. We are all one and nothing is ever truly lost in the moment or in the emotions of our bodies and our hearts, it is just that we feel their loss so deeply because they aren’t present in physicality. If we lose ourselves from wanting back what we can not have, we can enter a whole new beautiful relationship with those we’ve lost in so many other ways; and when we are ready we feel the emptiness in the depths of ourselves refill with that knowledge and freedom to generously love all things present and gone in mind, body and spirit. Take good care of yourself and I hope you find strength, improved health and comfort moving forward in your life journey 🤗
I lost my partner to cancer July last year, on his third relapse after 11 year battle. I played this song for my therapist as it was the only way I could actually express and relay what I felt locked up inside, I was so numbed after two breakdowns... .music is powerful and healing, and Ren is a gift to us all.
Love and strength to you all on your healing journey xx
So much love to you all. I'm sorry for your loss and pai. I'm so happy you've found Ren and a community that allows you to identify, share and release all that you're going through. In my thoughts.🙏💙
Becca - try not to forget that you are obviously an incredibly intelligent, empathetic person, who is willing and able to share how you are - and that, my friend is who you are. Even though your energy fluctuates and you have to go with the flow in relation to your health - that's a skill and takes wisdom too - so add that to who you are...oh yes and did I mention your inner strength which emanates from you. Okay I'll shut up now 🤐☮
I read this comment several hours ago, and I still don’t feel like I can reply the way I want to. So for now, I just want to tell you how much these words mean to my heart and soul. Thank you so much. I definitely struggle to see/believe those things about myself, but this community is the single most encouraging place I think I’ve ever been a part of online.💕
@@BeccaDoss 🌻
@@BeccaDoss Having confidence in a world of uncertainty is hard enough, and when set back by unpredictable failures by others, confidence becomes even more difficult. Yes, I've felt this in you. A quick search of Captian's Log Archives yielded a once familiar quote - "...life is far less about being dealt a good hand, but playing a bad hand well". Soon enough your turn will come around to deal. ❤😊
@@TrianglesAndCircles I love this so much, Scott, thank you for sharing it here.💕
As a 60 yr. old man with copd, which is causing severe depression, I can totally relate. 40% lung capacity makes it impossible to maintain my "kingdom" I sit and watch it crumble, in anguish...
I feel so bad for others who have it "worse" than me, or just those who suffer with any mental issues.
I hope for the best for you Becca, and for all who watch this. Sorry to ramble. Be well everyone.
One of the most beautiful and haunting duets.
Couldn’t agree more, they absolutely destroyed my composure. A magical combination of voices, for sure.💕
This was actually the first Ren song i heard..cuz i found Chinchilla first and immediately seeked more Chinchilla then i saw this and remembered i hadnt watched Hi Ren yet and off i went down the rabbit hole
Quick note: I’m aware this video is also likely all about Joe, but the parallels to any significant mental and physical health battles was very obvious to me, so that’s the angle I took for most of this video.
Wow, what a hauntingly beautiful masterpiece.
It’s not really important but just to correct the record - despite it having become widespread ‘lore’ in comments, this video is not recorded on the same bridge. There is no point on that bridge which looks like this location, and the surrounding area in the background does not match. I haven’t confirmed where it was recorded, but I suspect it to be a roof top in Brighton as all the other recordings with Ren and Chinchilla were filmed in Brighton and were all made around the same time. (One of my hobbies is ‘geodetective’ - looking at a photo and working out where in the world it was taken, and since I knew the relevant bridge having crossed it a few times, when I heard that idea, it immediately didn’t feel right, and a quick check shows there is no spot on the bridge or even close by, which could match what is in the video. I have pinned down where almost every other Ren video has been filmed - this one is alluding me so far as the background skyline is so blurred…but it is not the relevant area in Wales)
I think its all ok to take what we want or need from any piece of music, but always good for me to know what the person who's song it really is was thinking when they wrote it..😊
Other than that last line, Ren himself never mentions this as a Joe song. So you're probably all correct here.
I like to listen to this one in a fun "Ren is acting as someone else here" kind of way. I swear, front to back, last line included - This is Jeff Dahmer talking here. Talking about the dead he'd buried around him. Saviors died too soon - Jeff was a lonely man and thought his victims were going to be with him forever... But he was a little rough with them when they wanted to leave. Him being caught and his kingdom/righteousness (lies) crashing down around him. Talking about the last line - I think of that as the first victim running away from him, "forcing" Jeff to kill him and thereby changing his life path.
But that's just so I don't cry through the darn song. He's never tied this to serial killers, but he does follow counterculture monsters as a fascination.
We are all allowed to take what we need to out of any music, and he leaves this very open ended for interpretation until the very end.
Honestly, music like this to help me feel not alone in my struggle and to remind me of the pain suicide causes are one of the few things holding me here right now.
You are SO sweet. I love your reactions!!
I adore Chinchilla and Ren harmonising together. Their voices are beautiful and the natural syncopation of their rhythmic breaths enable them to be totally and completely in sync. I think the emotional bravery contained within the lyrics of the song tells such a powerful story of what it is like to live in psychological turmoil. Becca, I can tell you resonate with this song so much because you have such empathy for others. I love the small number of reactions of yours I have seen so far, because they are really informative and your feelings and emotions are truly genuine. I will be checking out some of your previous video’s because I want to see more.
They really are truly special, especially together. This one definitely hit close to home. Thanks for letting me know you like what you’ve seen thus far, I plan on continuing to publish more, so there will be even more to come!💕
Becca you are a warrior. Not a path you might have chosen but a place you’ve arrived. You amaze me.
Just a part of you that I see from your reaction videos, having never met you... A deeply empathetic and compassionate person. Someone with faith and a strong sense of morality, but who is not judgmental of people with different experiences of life, and not afraid to be honest about human frailty and doubt. Someone who connects on a deep level with music and appreciates beauty. Someone who has a sharp mind and a love of words. Someone who has a sense of humour. Someone with the courage to keep fighting physical and mental illness and the hope to keep getting up and trying again. Someone who has built a community in a way which works with your limitations, showing acceptance and wisdom. Someone who shares an enthusiasm for my favourite musician. I'm not trying to blow smoke: I subscribed to your channel after the first video I saw when you reacted to Ren. You have many wonderful qualities. Sometimes we all need a mirror to reflect these things back to us, especially if we are isolated and have a tendency to get stuck with our own ruminating thoughts.
Holy moly, friend, I am speechless reading this. Your kindness, encouragement, and compassion have brought me to tears. Bless you for taking time to write all of this. Thank you for being you, and for being here.💕🫂
Edit: I particularly want to thank you about what you said regarding my own safe, and also always holding space for others and not trying to be judgmental of anyone who doesn’t share my same faith. There was a time years ago where that probably wouldn’t have been the case, simply because I was in a very dark theological spiral, and caught up in a lot of (incorrect, harmful, man-created) dogma. So anytime someone comments on anything remotely related to that, it’s one of the most complimentary things anyone can say to me. That’s my number one goal: empathy, love, compassion, and sharing my own faith while trying to hold space for all who may differ.
@@BeccaDoss 🥰 I feel you on the human dogma. Still sifting through other people's interpretations and expectations myself and trying to figure out what I actually believe versus what is programming. I certainly agree with you on empathy, love and compassion. I think we both struggle with compassion for ourselves, but that's important too.
Bloody hell Becca, tearing up already? Much love. I'll check in further when you've finished... I want to hug you, but I fear you would break...
Yeah, my goodness, this one broke me BIG TIME. I love the hug sentiments-I’m a big fan of virtual hugs, and there’s no worry of breaking anything that way.😊💕 As always, brother, I appreciate you so very much.
Such a strong compassionate reaction Becca. Isn’t it an incredible the journey Ren has taken us on and still continues to grow remembering Joe.
Wishing you every success and happiness on your own beautiful journey as you melt naturally into a brighter sunrise.
Thank you so much, friend. It truly is such an incredible journey of healing and catharsis he’s created from such deep pain. It’s magical to experience. So grateful for your kindness and encouragement.💕
Hey Becca. I love watching you cry. I see you connect so deeply to this music and like the music, it connects me to you... a complete stranger on a screen. You are such a deep thinker.
Also... please go watch Antony sing Leonard Cohen's song "If It Be Your Will"
Another masterpiece composition from Ren! :)
Glad to see you're back on your feet enough to tackle some of the more emotional material from Ren. I know how much you like his more fun songs, he's released a series of rap tracks the last few weeks that you may enjoy without all of the emotional stuff.
Another great reaction from the female Knox! I don't think there are any other reactors out there that can break down a song like you guys but you are heads above Knox because you also bring feeling into it as well as your intellect! Stay strong!
This a sortie or gave me a mental and emotional boost when I read it yesterday, friend. Thank you so much for such kind words, that’s one of the biggest compliments I could receive when it comes to mentioning other reactors.💕
Okay Becca you won me over, I’ll watch ONE MORE VIDEO before bed :) hope you’re well! Much love from your buddy Kyle.
😊😬 Haha, I tried to get this one out earlier today, but tech stuff pushed it to almost midnight here in KY, so I knew it would be pretty late for most people. I really wanted to get it up before ‘Lost All Faith’ premieres tomorrow. Hope you get some restful sleep afterwards! Always thankful for you and I smile when I see a notification with your name.😁💕
@@BeccaDossI’ve had a rough week recently dealing with some mental exhaustion. It feels like it’s been somewhat of pattern so I’m trying to navigate it. Always love when you post so thank you 🙏🏻 I hope you get the rest you need as well and look forward to future uploads and interactions!
I know that was hard for you but it was the most beautiful reaction I’ve seen. Having MH issues also, the suffocating and how to be be lines hit me hard, but the hallelujah section at the end broke me…in a good way. Whether someone has a faith as strong as yours or not, the desperation is palpable. Just to hear someone so eloquently singing your emotions is powerful. Take care ❤
It definitely was hard, but I’m so glad I finally got to it. That second post-chorus, and those lines interspersed with the Hallelujahs…my goodness, it struck a chord I didn’t know existed, it hit so hard. I’m glad you were able to resonate with this reaction.💕
When I was house hunting in far northern Maine, I was amazed to see grapevines all over the porch of the house i ended up owning. After time I realized that grapevines could do well even in this climate - but only if they had something to cling to for support as they grew. That support won't do the growing *for* them - they still have to do the work themselves - but with something solid to cling to it is possible to survive and even thrive.
Becca, you have the support of many folks here, and your team, and your loving husband. And you have the support of your faith. It's okay to lean on all of these in your journey 🙂
This was said so eloquently and beautifully, Dave, thank you. I definitely am grateful and fortunate to have the support I have, and they help me keep going, just like this community does.💕 I love the grapevines as an analogy, thanks for sharing it here.
It's 5am here and I'm unable to sleep. I've stumbled across this reaction, and wow, your analysis is amazing and insightful. I'm also living with illness and Ren has given me so much hope. I look forward to watching more of your videos. Much love from the UK x
A brave choice for starting back. This song is ethereally beautiful and daunting to experience, it pulls through me in ways I didn't think possible. This song exists where I exist. - Thank you for sharing your reaction. ❤ PS - I enjoy your commentary - being so meticulous, careful and kind.
I agree, this is a one of a kind cathartic masterpiece. You said it so beautifully. 💕 Thanks for letting me know you’re enjoying the content, too. I try to be as empathetic, detail-oriented, and kind/respectful in these, and I’m so glad that can be felt through the screen. Thank you so much.💕
Becca, my faith has always carried a question mark with it. Like you I've had health issues that might have taken me. I've even been in my hospital bed watching those around me die and not understanding why I was spared. I'm not telling you to hold on to your faith but I am asking you to hold on to faith in yourself. You are powerful and, like Ren, you impact others with your openness, intelligence and willingness to analyse lyrics from your own perspective.
I always think of Ren as touching the raw and painful parts of his life, learning to regulate his feelings about his pain and this gives us a bit of bravery to do the same.
I’m so late getting to this, but thank you so muck for taking time to share even part of your story, along with such thoughtful, encouraging words. I’m sorry you know the pain so well, and I hope you’re able to be gentle with yourself as any of the spectrum of emotions we’re prone to feeling arises. Ren has been a gift to all of us, for sure.💕
Becca, i use humor to get through rough times so never worry about adding levity ! That is also very therapeutic, at least it is for me !❤
I’m so glad it didn’t detract from the emotions there, I wanna just trying to calm the heck down for a minute. 💕
Becca, you are a total angel. Even though you live through personal confusion, pain and anguish, you find the strength to share your experiences ( no matter how dark ) in the hope that you may be able to, somehow, help others in their suffering ( and believe me, you have no idea how much you do ). Empaths are THE most special people on Earth. They recognise the devastation in others from the agony of their own traumas. I always enjoy your reaction videos. You are such an amazing human being who is driven by a positive force ... which is more remarkable coming from a place of so much personal negativity. I pray for your happiness, for your well being ( physically and emotionally ) and I recognise you for the beautiful soul you truly are. I hope, some day soon, the penny really drops, and you become overwhelmed by your personal sense of purpose .... you deserve, so much, to be happy. My sincere love to you Becca 🙏 May God watch over you always x
Good to see you back again Becca! And this was a brave choice my friend. Well done.
I knew it was gonna be rough, but I’m definitely glad to finally get to it. Thank you so much.💕
Thanks for your beautiful reaction! I too, know the difficulties of living in a body that is at war with itself. I started getting sick at at16 and am now 63. Ren’s music touches me in a way that no other artist’s ever has. He is special! So are you!♥️♥️♥️
I had to wait a little to watch this one, because this song makes me cry every single time, and I knew you would be into your feels with it too, so I wanted to start in the right place, mentally. I hope you are able to take the time to listen through it all the way through, without stopping to think about breaking it down, because then you can just feel it. It packs a huge punch and is so amazing.
I had a very dear friend who took her own life several years ago. That friend had a daughter who lost her life to anorexia, and my friend never got over the guilt of not being able to save her beloved daughter. My friend also had advanced Lyme that had gone untreated for a very long time, so this all wraps up into this song for me. I miss her daily, I miss her beautiful daughter, who’s heart stopped as she was waiting for a bed to open for her in a treatment facility.
Stay strong, dear Becca! You are loved and you spread such wonderful awareness that needs to be spread. I wish my friend and her daughter were here to watch your videos and we could all talk about them. ❤❤❤. Thank you for all the amazing work you are doing, in the midst of trying to reclaim yourself. Keep the faith!
Becca, I dislocated my shoulder after repeatedly hugging my television in a futile effort to hug you while I watched your reaction to this! I think you're great btw!
As someone with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, whose shoulders frequently partially dislocate (sublux), I both got a kick out of this and also cringed in sympathetic pain. I appreciate your kindness and thoughtful compasison so much, thank you, deeply.💕🫂
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Oh Becca, it hurts to see you hurt like this but I hope it was cathartic for you like it was for me. I also forgot how to be me, and Ren has been a huge part of my journey to rediscovering myself over the last year even if I feel like I'm still only starting that journey. For me, a series of traumatic events several years ago led to me shutting down all internal sensation (emotions, intuition, spirituality, all of it). I was so lost in the fog of my coping mechanisms I didn't even realize it until sometime last year, and then at the perfect moment Hi Ren came out and broke through all of those walls to let me feel something. That was the beginning and I've found his music a perfect therapy for me to rediscover how to feel things, and how to connect with community. I'm so glad you're part of this community too and still fighting the good fight. Thank you for putting yourself out there like this, I always enjoy your reactions even when they hurt.
Hey Apollo, I think I’ve made it through almost everyone’s comments before coming back to this, because I wanted to make sure I could give it the time and attention it deserves and that I want to be able to give. I continue to be grateful for any parts of your own story you feel comfortable sharing here, it’s an honor to be able to hold space for that, even if in this virtual community. And I am also SO thrilled to hear that, despite the horribly painful things you’ve endured, Ren’s music has been a source of catharsis and healing. I definitely agree and have had the same experience. I’m so thankful you’re still here, AND that you’re part of this community.💕🫂
@@BeccaDoss ❤️
Ive never heard anyone verbalize EXACTLY what ive been feeling and going through. I appreciate you so much
Back at you, friend, the sorority we is mutual. One day at a time. One minute at a time if that’s what it takes.💕🙏🏼
This song is so intensely dark and beautiful and moving. I cried so hard the first time I heard it. Beautiful reaction Becca ❤ Keep fighting sister! You’ve got this ❤
It really is, and it’s also one of the most hauntingly beautiful things I’ve ever heard. Thank you for the encouragement and support, it means so dang much.💕
Thank you for the reaction. Love to you X
You’re so welcome. Back at you.💕
I found your channel by watching reactions to rens videos and I've found yours to be some of the best. You are doing an amazing job and I can tell by watching them that you are making a positive impact on lots of people's lives and you should be commended or it. Your reactions are detailed and heartfelt and you can tell you put your soul into your channel. Thank you for your honesty and great reactions
I wanted to reply as soon as I saw this, but I was overcome with thankfulness and was speechless to actually put what I want to say into words that feel adequate enough. I’m still lacking, so please just know this comment came at the exact right time, and I’m so glad you happened to find your way here, and let me know you’re enjoying the content I’m able to make. I really do poor everything into it when I’m able to work on content, and it always makes my heart smile to know others can tell that. I’ve said it a handful of times in comments to others over the past several months, but I’m notoriously horrible at faking emotion, so what you see is what you get when it comes to me reactions. It’s an honor to know others are able to emotionally connect and get something from art that also heals me. Ren has started a movement unlike any other, and that includes his entire fanbase. I love it here.💕
My story is a lot like yours, so I really appreciate your reactions Becca~!
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Thanks for getting to this one! I always appreciate your reactions and am glad you're finally back to the place that you're healthy enough to film them.
I’m so glad I finally felt able to tackle it. It’s such a special piece of art. Definitely good to be back and able to film again! 💕
Also, really hope you get to react to Lost All Faith by Ren soon. It really relates to your discussion in this reaction
@@willbender9035 That’s actually the very next on my list as soon as I have a day I can record!
Praying
Hey Becca. These two have such an amazing connection, I believe they've been singing together for many years,
Thankyou for another great reaction. Can I recommend you do a reaction to Ren and Chinchilla busking. Ren took her out one evening and it frightened her to do it as it was something she had never done before, But she loved it. It's just them enjoying it and doing what they want in that moment. Ren x Chinchilla - One Dance / Drunk in love ( Drake / Beyoncé cover ) CHINCHILLA x Ren - Sexual Healing (Marvin Gaye) Live
As for what you say about feeling like your personality's been stolen. It's as impossible to show you the beautiful intelligent intuitive woman we see in you as it would be to show a canvas the work of art it hold's together 🍀 But it's still there x
Thank you so much for that request, a couple people have mentioned that performance needed together, so after reading your comment I’m even more excited to get to it. As for the last part of your comment, I don’t have words strong enough to express my gratitude for your kindness and encouragement, it’s really hard to see those things in my self, and while I have trouble sometimes hearing them from others, more than anything, it means the world to me.💕
Hey Becca, loved the reaction from you!
With my depression and anxiety, I dug so hard into work and being a father to just drown out everything that I lost myself in the process. It didn't help that all my friends are a 3 hour drive away and have their own lives, and I was worst right before the pandemic.
All of our stories are vastly different yet we still seem to be able to relate.
Thanks for sharing as always!
Awesome review as always. Much love sweetie.❤
Thanks, Cynthia! Really thankful to know you enjoyed this one.💕
You are really fantastic at interpreting imagery and lyrics. ❤
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❤ nice to see you again Becca
Thank you ❤ @BeccaDoss for this very feeling Ren X Chinchilla - How To Be Me (Live) reaction! You bring worth and joy and love to the world, you may be somebody's savior, not only your own.
I’ll be honest, friend, this comment left me speechless for over 12 hours. I’m still not sure how to reply in the way I want to be able, but thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, for such kind and encouraging words. Bless you.💕
Hi Becca, I'm so sorry I've missed the last few reactions. But i will catch up on them.
As always, your reaction is both painful and beautiful to watch. You do just seem to have a special affinity with Ren and his meanings behind his music.
As always love, healing and the best of wishes ❤️
Never any need to apologize for taking time to get to videos (and no pressure to watch them all, anyway). Life happens, and I know some of mine can get quite lengthy, so I don’t think twice about it if it takes anyone a while to catch up. I appreciate you letting me know, though! His music really has reminded me there is a deep part of my heart and soul I thought I had lost in the past 2 years, so it’s literally saved my life this year (as has this community).💕
A beautiful, raw, and exposed analysis, Becca. Praying for your continued healing and encouragement. Keep up the good fight!
Thank you so much for your prayers, they mean so much to me. I’m also really grateful to know you enjoyed this one. Appreciate you, friend.💕
This song resonated with me so much. Loved your reaction ❤❤❤
It’s definitely one that cuts right to the core of the soul. I’m so glad you loved this one.💕
Köszönöm ezt a reakciót .Úgy gondolom, hogy mindegy miben hiszünk, időnként elveszitjük a hitünket, és néha nagyon nehéz visszakapni. Az empátia a te erőd, és ezzel segitesz másoknak, ezért is fontos, hogy folytasd a reakciókat, amikor elég erőd van hozzá.♥
You put this into such beautiful words, friend, thank you for sharing this here. I definitely don’t intend on stopping any time soon (or ever) as long as health cooperates.💕
You are such a beautiful person. If I could give you one gift it would be to see yourself the way we see you ❤
That’s beautiful ❤
This touched my heart in an extremely deep, profound way. Thank you, thank you so much.💕🫂
I love the way you dissects Ren's songs- best reaction videos of all the reaction videos of his music I've seen💝
This is such an extremely kind compliment, and it means the world to me. Thank you so much, friend! Hope you’re taking care of yourself.💕
Damn Becca, you break me every time!❤
I've been alone in an unsafe bed with voices in my head, not knowing how to be me.
Chalk Outlines is The One, for me, but this one is a pretty freakin' incredible "2nd place," isn't it? Imagine - we live in a world where something this amazing only takes 2nd place, lol. ty Ren & Chinchilla. ♥
That’s such a hard place to be, friend, and I hate to know you understand the pain of it firsthand. Between this and Chalk Outlines…my gosh, it’s impossible to choose for me, and thankfully we don’t have to. This one broke me (a little) more in the moment, but I have reverted to singing Chalk Outlines more times than I can count since April, because when I can’t put my own emotions into words, that song does it for me. I’m so glad they’re both cathartic and healing for you, too.💕🫂
@@BeccaDoss it's astounding how he does it (puts words to emotions and thoughts and experiences we've struggled to express ourselves).
Over and over and over again.
His music is such an amazing gift to us all.
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I have head this song hundreds of time and I still tear up every time. What an amazing and passionate performance. Hugs to you. Thank you for your genuine reactions. I hold you in my prayers 🙏
It really is one of a kind. I’m so glad you’re enjoying the reactions, and I’m beyond grateful for your prayers. Thank you, friend.💕🫂
Wow! This was so worth the wait! What a gift, what a blessing to wake up to! Becca, there must be a direct connection between your brain and your heart, and both are Olympic champions. Amazing on all accounts!
I’m so glad you enjoyed this one, Eugene! And thanks for sharing it in the FB groups!😊 This one definitely hit so hard and so close to home, I just couldn’t hold it together. 💕
I love your reactions, you are so genuine. And feel everything the art intends
He's not real...you are a strong woman and can make it through your life without a fictional savior. I believe in your strength and you should too, you don't need a mystical figure to get you through ❤
I was very happy to see this reaction from you come up today! It’s a truly breathtaking duet for all the reasons you mentioned and more… that ineffable quality that Ren (and especially Ren and Chinchilla together have) that creates genuine magic. You’re a part of that magic too, Becca. You bring so much warmth, empathy and understanding to the songs you react to. Your raw genuineness is a big reason I keep coming back to your channel. You are brilliant at what you do!
There are times when I feel like I’m disappearing into my illness and struggles too, and yet, I remain. You do too, even if you feel far away from yourself sometimes. You’re still there. Nothing can take you away from yourself, no matter what. And you are a beautiful soul. ❤
I’m so glad to know you were happy to see this notification/upload, and I’m really glad you were able to resonate with and/or enjoy it. It is definitely a special masterpiece and work of cathartic art. Thank you for your kind words about me, too. I definitely still sometimes struggle with imposter syndrome with all this stuff, so it means more than I can say when others are able to see things I can’t see in myself. Thank you again.
I’m also heartbroken you know that pain and loss of sense of self so deeply, and am so dang glad you’re still here.💕🫂
@@BeccaDoss You’re so kind! Thank you for your lovely words; I’m sending you hugs and spoons back too! ❤️
Your strength is amazing, Becca. ❤🩹
Thank you, Kathleen. I don’t think that would be the case without this community-you all mean so much to me. 💕
I held it together pretty well throughout your reaction to this one...until your personal outro when you told us all that you hope we're taking care of ourselves as best as we can....and that this world needs us no matter what the voices in our heads are trying to tell us. Because right at that exact moment, my mind had drifted and I was mentally putting myself down because of how little I've managed to get done today. I'm a lupus patient and AuDHD, so my productivity can swing wildly from day to day. Today, I don't have the mental or physical energy to get much done...and I've been sitting around binging your Ren reactions.
Your message was delivered at the exact SECOND I needed to hear it. Bless you. Thank you. I love your reactions.
I’m so late replying, but it makes my heart smile knowing this came at the right time for you. YOU have worth. YOU are worthy. YOU are valuable. YOU are needed in this world. Your struggles do not take away from any of the intrinsic value you have as such a kind human being. I hope you’re able to give yourself some grace on those tough days, friend. I know how hard they can be.💕
Yes! First person I've seen to mention The Tell-Tale Heart!
I haven’t had a chance to watch many other reactors on this one yet, because I avoid watching others’ videos for each song until after mine’s posted to avoid unintentional influence and/or spoilers.
But it’s honestly shocking to me that you haven’t heard anyone else bring that up-it seemed like such an obvious allusion to me, but I’m also a literature nerd and have read that particular tale more times than I can count. I’m glad you noticed it and enjoyed it!
@@BeccaDoss Yeah. I'm a bit of a classic horror nerd. I have half a dozen Raven shirts.
@@blackberrystagNot gonna lie, I’m a little jealous of those shirts! (I had a pretty awesome Walden shirt several years ago, but it eventually got to be unwearable because I wore it out😂-not quite horror, but def a fan of literary clothing)
The third one for "bruises on the walls" is likely a big reach, yes. But it's a reach I like.
😬 I try to at least acknowledge when I know I’m probably reaching, but glad you enjoyed this one!😉
Thank you for sharing this sensitive & empathetic reaction. I am in awe of the strength you are bringing to us all by baring your own vulnerability and depth of emotion. Please stay strong and continue grow and share the things that are so important to hear. With love and heartfelt best wishes.
As much as you've been going through, your faith in God and commitment to your recovery and not to mention your honest vulnerability is what makes you special and unique. Your personality is definitely a shining light in the darkness of this world. Thank you for all you do. And God bless your husband for his enduring support and love towards you. It could be harder without that type of selfless love.
Thank you SO much, Joshua. These words spoke to my heart and affected me on such a deep level I don’t have words to describe it adequately enough. Your kindness is overwhelming, bless you. And it means just as much to me that you added that note about Roger at the end-I’m definitely fortunate to have such a wonderfully supportive husband and partner in this life, and I have no doubt that’s one of the main things that keeps me going. 💕
This is my absolute favorite song and this live performance is the best. I know this hits hard with my situation, and I could feel your connection with the same sections that I did. You are a true Empath. Sending you positive energy and a reminder to RELAX. Breathe and heal❤️
It definitely is special, and is such a tearjerker with how hard it hits the heart strings. Like you said, this live performance just elevates and takes it over the top. Pure magic. I’m so glad you were able to feel the emotion, I spent a lot of my life trying to hold back my empath nature, because I was always told I was overreacting, or being “too sensitive,” and I’m so glad I finally said screw all of that, I’m going to feel what I feel, and not hide it. And that’s exactly what I have the blessing of being able to do here, which leads to comments like yours, and my heart is overflowing with gratitude. Thank you for the reminder to relax, it’s definitely one I’m guilty of not remembering.💕
Great song.
Agreed!
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Wonderful reaction as always! I appreciate how you take the time to explain the many facets of meaning that you glean from the lyrics - it often either confirms what I was thinking or helps me think of the lyrics in a new/different/more complex way. Such an utterly beautiful song by Ren and Chinchilla.
I’m so glad you enjoyed this one, and it means a lot to me that you appreciate the detail and depth I go into with these. I don’t know how to do this any other way, because my mind loves picking up on all the various facets I notice, so it always makes me happy knowing others can appreciate that, too. And it makes me even more glad to know it can help either confirm your own thoughts/feelings, or give you something further to think about. This was absolutely a one of a kind masterpiece. 💕🫂
I can't find the Words in English to describe my emotions.
let's try emoticons:
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I would literally love to see you breakdown and react to a Sleep Token song 😭 so much of their music isn’t appreciated and caught onto lyrically and I know you would fall in love and appreciate the depth.
I’m currently in an inpatient eating disorders program and will likely be here for 5-6 more weeks, so I can’t record until I’m home, but let me know which songs you’d recommend starting with and I’ll make sure I add them to the list!😊
It is a beautiful song for sure, they fit well together ❤
They really do, they very quickly became one of my favorite, if not my absolute favorite, musical duos. Magical!💕
22:19 I believe this also refers to how a buddy like Joe, Ren, may have felt as a support in bearing difficulties and life's struggling with/against sin, but has already gone without. Since he pluralizes saviors, I think there is a clue it can be used more broadly as well, and as you said with Christ Jesus. For the same reasons you described, I have seen some individuals mention it can feel like that because the burden of His disciples still having to bear their cross throughout their natural life remains a fact; it can be difficult to see what is hoped, including full spiritual unity with Christ on the Cross, this side of the vale.
I love both of these angels, and can totally see those being further layer. Thanks for sharing!💕
Thank you for sharing your reacton with us 💜💜💜
You’re so welcome, thanks for stopping by and taking time to watch/comment.💕
Singing like angels ❤
Absolutely agree!💕
Chronic illness here. Ten years almost in bed. Diagnosed with chronic pain disorder and finally, this past month, they finally dug further into blood tests and stopped just putting everything under the fibro label. Discovered I also have hypermobility and scleroderma. Add to the arthritis, old injuries and long term mental health issues and you have a 50 year old mess.
I struggle to leave my house because my social phobias and anxieties burst into bloom as agoraphobia and major depressive disorder. Cptsd is harder to control again. Every bridge and accomplishment i made over the years to overcome and deal with my issues, they all crumbled like ashes with the chronic pain. It's like my whole life of working so hard to build and overcome and live.... was all worthless in the end. I feel a failure and have zero motivation to care most days.
This song is one of the most excruciating and yet beautiful and haunting songs. I have forgotten how to be Me. I've been on both sides of the noose. I've attempted (almost succeeded, felt like a failure for that) and lost so many (far too many) friends to suicide.
I wish i could just start over and try again. Go back to before things hurt everyday. I wouldn't wish my time away. I wouldn't curse the boring moments or the long time between weekends or vacations. I wasted so much time waiting. Now I'd give almost anything to have those pain-free moments back. I'd rather be bored and not hurting than this not-life that I'm existing in.
If i were a beloved pet, they would have put me out of my misery by now. Why am i worth less than a pet?
I'm having a really bad pain day, so I'm being a bit more honest than usual, but OMG i wish there was a way out that wouldn't hurt my son and bf and family. Just a door that i could walk through and they'd be happy for me. But i can't put that agony on those i love. So i wait. I exist. But I'm not me anymore. I miss me so much.
Sending selfish hugs (because i need them as well lol) sorry I'm such a downer. I'll probably regret this and delete it when i wake up, if i even remember that i posted it. Gentle hugs and much love to you. You are so strong and worth being proud of. You are making something of your life and raising awareness just by using your platform. I'm proud of you. 💜
I see the "bruises on the walls" as being trapped in my actual body. That's why I can't get up and walk out. Can't escape me no matter how much I wish i could. The bodies in the floor are my secret wishes to just leave myself behind.
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Hey Becca, I’ve got Crohn’s Disease. Struggled with it since I was 13, 34 now. When I was 18, I was a week away from my second semester of college when I had a massive flair and I couldn’t go back. My body felt like it had knives inside trying to break through my stomach to reach air. I was basically an agnostic, but I said, “God, if you exist, take my life because I don’t even have the strength to do it myself.” The next morning I woke up, very much alive, still feeling horrible but I had the strongest desire to read the Bible, and so I did.
Since then, I’ve grown in my faith, went to seminary for a few years to become a Catholic priest. Left seminary, etc. Anyways, I figure you’re likely not Catholic but you may like the book Story of a Soul by St. Therese of Lisieux.
I consider her my sister. It’s the story of a girl who goes into a monastery at 16 and dies of TB at 24. But she was incredible and her story may help you live your story. I’m praying for you and I wish you the best.
27:52 🙏Amen💗🙏
Hi from a woman that also lost herself. I'm searching for myself(with my bestest boi Pokemon Zeraora)
You're such a lovely person & I pray for you to have good health, happiness & peace.
God is with in all of us, when we love ourselves unconditionally we may come to realise that God lays within us, he's our soul, our conscience & the reason why we're still alive at this moment. We feel a disconnection from God because we are unaware that he's within us, it's all about faith. He's not sitting on a cloud watching our suffering instead he lives within everyone of us & everything in nature too. Life is full of challenges & it's so hard but I see a lot of people who are a lot worse off than me & that humbles me & helps me to be grateful for what good things I do have, no matter how small, not for what I don't have.
Awesome reaction
It's all about his friend Joe
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I also heard it was filmed on the bridge but later found out it wasn't the case.
Thanks for adding this here, I ended up making a community post about this earlier.
I believe he means talking to Joe when he says "been talking to the dead" but I could be wrong
Yeah, makes total sense.
as someone who has been at the bottom, i can tell you with certainty that you will find yourself again. i mean if i could and i was broken, then anyone can. love your heart becca. p.s. i wanted to warn you about masochist...its heavy.
Thank you, my friend, this means so much to me. And I am so grateful and glad to know you eventually found yourself again. That’s a powerful testament to not giving up, even when things feel impossible. And thanks for the warning about Masochist, I’ve seen a few people say similar things and I really appreciate the heads-up.💕🫂
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Forgetting how to be yourself is one of the worst feelings.
I've been wanting to try something I heard about. Maybe it'll be useful for you.
Get a journal and write quotes, lyrics, draw pictures, add stickers, put anything in it that you love and let that journal be a physical manifestation of what you love and what you believe. Put pokemon, bible scriptures, song lyrics, four-leaf clovers, and whatever geeks like you into it. You haven't lost who you are. You are you. Maybe all the pain and trauma destroyed parts of who you were or who you thought yourself to be. Maybe sad eyes blind you, distorting your view of yourself.
Just remember that we are always changing. People lose sight of themselves for periods and then when we reach a place where we can see ourselves, we don't recognize who we see. Who we are is who we are at any given point. You could mourn the person you remember being, but the healthiest thing is to define yourself in the present.
I think the journal would be a helpful tool to visualize all the things that feel like you.
Hope this helps.
- love, your fellow Kentuckian
Thank you so much for such a thoughtful, encouraging comment, I read every word and your sincerity is palpable. I really appreciate you. I have done some similar things to what you’re describing before, and I can attest, it IS definitely helpful, but it never hurts to have the reminder to get back into it. 💕
Beautiful reaction, note: it wasn’t filmed on the bridge.
Thanks for letting me know you enjoyed it. So thankful to have you here. Just created a community post earlier re: the bridge. Thanks for that info, too.💕
❤ Becca, created in the image and likeness of God are You ❤ This is true even when the spirit leads us into the dessert to do battle to unify with Christ on the proverbial wedding bed of the cross, nothing is wasted as mere grass standing with the Lord - abiding in the that vine. ^_^ That Life ❤
Thankful Becca is loved into being and after living for love she is about! Thank you/thanks be to God🙏
Thank you so much for these extremely kind words, and reminders I definitely needed to hear. Very grateful for you.💕
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Sweet child of God, I'm 60 lost my whole family father mother child brother sister aunt husband's ect Jesus sees you believe
Hopefully that's a pokemon go Kentucky shirt not a louisville cardinals shirt. Go 💙
I would never wear a Louisville shirt. 😁😊 BBN for life!💙
I heard this was filmed on Joe's bridge. Not sure if that's so. Unimaginable.
Hi Becca, thank so much for a wonderfully deep reaction. This has become my favorite performance of my favorite song - not just by Ren, but by anyone. BTW, this was absolutely NOT filmed at Menai Bridge. Why would they do that? How would that conversation have gone? "Hi, Mr and Mrs Hughes, this is Chinchilla who you don't know and who Joe never met. We're going to record a music video from the bridge where your son jumped to his death. In fact the last verse is about that very thing, so it's totally relevant! I hope the video does really well for us." It disturbs me greatly that so many people are spreading this utter nonsense without checking the facts/themselves. Imagine being Joe's parents and having to read this crap every time this beautiful song comes up in a reaction. Thank you for listening to my Ted talk. Be well.
I’m so glad you enjoyed this one. This some is something special and one of a kind, that’s for sure. Thanks for the notes on the bridge, I posted a community post update about that earlier today. Appreciate you!💕
@@BeccaDoss Ahh thank you! And please don't think I was criticizing you in any way. It must be so difficult as a reactor being bombarded with all manner of back stories. Your work continues to be incredible, if that's unclear! 🤣
@@horsehollerer Definitely didn’t take it that way, I appreciate when someone lets me know I’ve gotten something factually wrong so I can take care of it. In this case, I just cut out the clip where I mentioned it. 😊 I appreciate you!
Theoretically of course, but just very curious now you have had a decent amount of Ren's music and you love NF. If you could only pick one artist?
Man, talk about a musical Sophie’s Choice there… (no disrespect to the actual story and the real life horrific genocide on which that novel/movie is based).
That’s such a hard question. It also doesn’t help that I’m useless with hypotheticals. It’s really impossible to imagine not having NF’s music as part of my life, because it’s been such a major source of healing for me for nearly a decade, but at this point, I might have to go with Ren, simply because he can do so much and nails any and every genre he tries.
Thankfully we get both!😁😬
@BeccaDoss thank you for you're reply. Yes I agree! NF has been in my life for 8 years now and ren for 8 months. Both incredible but Ren tops it for me with his versatility, genre bending. Impeccable.
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