The Mayo Man
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- čas přidán 29. 04. 2020
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this dude mayonnaise, cause he be saucin
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BROFIST ........... - Komedie
Hey nerd, go to www.dashlane.com/pyrocynical and get 25% off premium using the code PYROCYNICAL
it helps support the channel and I can buy a bubble tea
Pyrocynical e
Pryo are you a Chad
ThatOnePuffle Real e
Spicy
Pyrocynical no
He looks like a more realistic version of the human designed to survive car crashes.
Holy shit you're right
Bruuuh
Oh my god I knew I recognized him from somewhere
He also looks like the clown from spawn
Real big brain evolutionary strats
Instead of bullying kids, pyro is now bullying middle-aged men
He is evolving
yes he’s now bullying the kids parents
I'm proud of you bro you're evolving
which is fine
That's an improvement in my opinion
His hat says "BRUH" in sign language for any of you all wondering.
*clicks. Nice
I looked up the sign language because of it, very disappointing
thank you i had it paused trying to figure it out
Thanks!
B R U H
In the divorce, Ed got the money and his wife got his neck.
At this point TLC should stand for Terrible Life Choices
Tables, Ladders & Chairs!
Gotem...
Featuring H3H3
Tickle, Lick, Cock
oh my god best comment ever
It's impossible to choke this guy to death.
I mean if they could get jabba.....
That's his qwerk
Brandon Neil Sta. Teresa can’t even hang that guy.
Hanging
@@morvid1968 man the rope would slide right the fuck off
fun fact: ed is older than rose's dad
*oof*
@@theanti-hero3983 OoF
@@mariaanitavalencia6230 oof
@@hsoj7589 oOOoOooOffffff
Oooooooffffff
"her breath stinks"
puts literal mayo in his hair
Bruh moment
They are worth each other
Mayo in your hair doesn’t affect your breath.
@@chadmcmibil2929 It does affect the odour of your body
@@thanosnoctem4473 I suppose but I guess I misphrased my point. It doesn’t matter though
Fun fact: *Ed was 31 when Rose was born*
Skrillyy wow amazing
😳
And his own daughter is older than her..
No 23, becuase she is 31 years younger, so 54-31= 23. Quik mas bich
Unknown - ? How would she be 31 years younger if he was 23 years old when she was born bruh
TLC then: The Learning Channel
TLC now: Terrible Living Conditions
😂
bruh
T- shut
L- up
C-
TLC: T-Series Live Channel
T: totally
L: legitimate
C: content
When Ed was 40, taking care of his 15 year old daughter, Rose was 9
-Odds1Out
Odd1out
It's math, it doesn't mean it's form Odds1Out
Why is everyone saying odd1sout
@@pouring_rain4966 the Odd1sout said it in his video on 90 day fiance.
Just to clear things up Rose wasn't grabbing from his wallet because she's a gold digger. Ed had previously told Rose to help him with the money because he didn't understand anything but American money.
Anyone else realize how Ed doesn’t move his head when he looks he just turns his whole body
Cire not making a joke he really probably can’t turn his head that much he probably has a very real as evident by his non existent neck
Obsidian Mother He actually has a genetic disease, forgot what it was called
@@saudicomedyhomevideosksa8504 وش ذا الاسم
His neck doesn't work
Cire he’s like Micheal Keaton Batman
When his daughter is older than the women he is trying to marry.
Hashan Sadaruwa- L
Half of my country live in poverty because of that some of the women here want some sugardaddy's
A similar thing happened with professional footballer Neymar
His mother was dating a dude younger than him
wow that's relatable Am I right ?
@@orbit6663 Thank god Neymar mama and that dude have been broken up as Neymar entire family disliked that!
big ed was is the schematic for the fall guys bean character design
the more you know
I normally don't judge people on their looks but jesus christ he looks like the red M&M and I can't stop laughing
Me: Mom can we get a Jack Black?
Mom: We already have a Jack Black at home.
Jack Black at home:
You need more up votes my friend
@@garrytehbest oh no we found the redditor
you are not welcome here
Koopii sounds like him more than looks like I think
lol funny format , please make more xDDDD
Jack black from wish.com
This guy doesn’t anatomically have a neck... the only way I can tell is seeing where the beard ends.
hes a new species of incel known as the noneckbeard
The king requires no neck
@@connor8163 he's no king lmao, he's a dickhead
That one guy Mark literally
Don’t roast ed he is a legend
OK I here have a list of why Ed big bad take it
- he say her breath stinky (she had a stomach ucler which means it wasn't her fault)
- he lied about his appearance
- he probably should've studied the currencey before going to meet her, when she took money out of his wallet it was probably to risk getting scammed (sometimes if a tourist is in a foreign country the people overprice it because the tourists won't know)
- with the (ahem) fun time he didn't say "i wanna do it when she's comfortable and we know eachother irl okay" he said when she takes an STD test
- he's just very pushy with everything in general, he wants to put a ring on her finger like a week after he meets her
And he's *w i d e*
This is major facts like do you really expect to date someone from a third world country with them mutually understanding the dating standards of the US?? N*gga please....
On your last point, the girl wanted a ring before ed wanted to give her a ring.
I love how you use the n-word but just fucking censor it like that makes it okay to use.
Also he said that Rose should shave her legs
I’ve worked in hiv-related organizations, and it should be normalized that everyone takes std tests (even if they are not sexually active, because this promotes said normalization). however, it’s important to be culturally conscious. for example, where I grew up, being asked to take that test is a big insult. it insinuates that one is “dirty on the inside”. so what ed expected was ok, but that was not a good approach.
as a matter of fact, this was all a mess. I just wanted to inform commenters about std testing. always test before getting sexually active with a new partner (after as well). and ideally, every six months from the previous test.
Joke is on u i am virgen
@@cranecanon3043 ok you got karma?
And the fact that you asked someone to take an STD test on camera insinuating something is... yeah.
taking tests regularly is gay
@@Lely2.0 I’m very sick of the gay is an insult thing
In rose’s defense, filipino culture is known to be pretty religious and traditional so i wouldn’t be surprised if she took him asking for an STD test as a way of telling her that she is basically “a dirty escort” (I’m half filipino and from what I’ve experienced and heard, there is a lot of shame and guilt around sex)
Yeah, that's exactly what I thought. Even if Pyro didn't actually know that, it's a bit retarded to not even suspect that that's the case.
in the whole clip she tells ed she'll do one if they do it together and he refuses because he "didn't feel safe" doing it in the Philippines. he's such a hypocrite.
Indeed dude that shit is taboo around here
Im pure filipino and i can confirm this
I think asking that of anyone is a violation of their respect. And you're correct for someone in the East this is a huge deal and very disrespectful.
Pyro: *complains about not being able to buy a car*
Also pyro: *Buys a supreme brick*
That brick is a flesh light
also Pyro: pays Belle Delphine $3000 to play Minecraft with her and fails
No let me educate you rachet he says he doesn't want a car just watch the minecraft video where the 7 year olds were along on a server for a week
For a skit
@@ScrappySlowbro dude its a joke...
Pyro: **Complains about his hairline**
Me: **a 17 year old female with a forehead the size of 30 football fields stacked on top of each other** ._.
I cant relate but lol
*Jacksfilms wants to know your location*
i'm a 24 year old man and my hairline is so bad i look like Bert and Ernie and even Ernie has a better hairline
@@thegreatcanadianlumberjack5307 no you're cute shut up
I can't relate but I have a friend who's 21 and he's balding so word of advice: hats
Disclaimer: I ain't a minor so dw about who I talk to lol
As an arab person i LOVE it when he writes arabic... it’s backwards..and cutted too..but funny
timestamp?
And how about that Arabic Nokia tune.
@@bergonath8851 it beautiful
Ikr
@@Adam-st4xm 11:22
His hat spells out b-r-u-h in sign language..I can't even
czcams.com/video/-ZGlaAxB7nI/video.html
It’s his merch lol.
Thought it was wing dings
the label on it literaly says "bruh"
bruh
The fact that his girlfriend is younger than his daughter is disturbing
Yeah...
Semi-Irrelevant Boi women especially in southeast asian countries are desperate to get out from their country to live an easy life and a green card asap
You again
Your pfp looks like Ed
That's OK, I'm 40 and I'm about to start going after girls in their early 20s wish me luck. Haha j/k I know you won't.
10 pesos....
...is 20 cents
lol
Hahaha
lol
5php is 0.10 cents
Nooooooo, not my 10 pesos 😥😥
what a cute shiba
idk if I misunderstood the joke at 14:31 but I'm pretty sure she wasn't offended because the test meant a lack of privacy. She was offended because it meant a lack of trust.
"its longer than petscop" every sequel is longer than the original
cuss word sayer unless you strap them to a table and stretch their limbs
PETSCOP 3 BABY
Better be petscop or I'm gonna tell my mom
The day of reckoning may of arrived brothers,finally we may view the glory that is petscop 2
And if it ain't then :(
He sounds and looks like a Jack Black designed by someone who never saw him but heard some drunk describe jack in a conversation one table away.
And also designed him whilst being drunk.
r/ rare insults
heard* I'm sorry, I'm such a dick but I really wanted to do this. It would bother me for the rest of my life if I didn't :/
@@luzbautista7342 no clue what you are talking about... *evil laughter*
Nah more like danny devito
Ed is like a silenced sniper, he tried to supress every word he said in order for rose not to get offended but ended up making rose offended
This guy is literally head, shoulders, knees and toes.
She was asking for his wallet because she is familiar with the currency. Ed has no idea what Pesos are, proven by the offence he took by 10 pesos.
Demoknight tf2
Demoknight tf2
She wanted to pay because they ask for more money from non locals
That explains alot, thank you
@haianh dang Demoknight tf2
His girlfriend is literally younger than his own daughter
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
yikes
nice pfp lmfao
Age is a number
Wesley Watkins
So is 911
Okay. This needs to be said.
When *buying a wife on the internet.*
*How the fuck do you not expect her to be a gold-digger.* Your whole relationship started with a financial transaction.
I'm not even saying she IS a gold-digger, but if someone literally leaves their whole entire LIFE to move to a country they're completely unfamiliar with, where *they are legally not fucking allowed to work,* yeah, I expect the dude to pay for everything. He did this to himself. I'm sick of guys bait-and-switching these poor women who are WAY out of their league and then having the *nuts* to call them a fucking gold-digger, while also pushing them for sex and treating them like objects meant to service them.
@hyomin lee Yeah. Nobody would date someone like Ed for any other reason other than the money and the green card. Big surprise, considering that Ed is wider than he is tall.
Can you repeat that again
Im illiterate
@@bawicz0 "Ed is the scumbag, she deserved better"
@@illbeyourpokeman2260 Yeah, but a lot of scumbags, not just from the US, but around the world, also have a lot of money, so... we gotta work on that...
I agree but the reason she took the money to pay is because Ed had no clue of the currency because he did no research, it was about 20 cents for the first dress
"Big Ed"?
I thought that was Bri'ish for "Big Head"
‘e’s got a rather big ‘ead don’t ‘e?
I can see why Rose doesnt like him. Not because he puts mayonaise in his hair, or that he is short, but the fact that he genetically has no neck.
It's not just the looks some usually can love and not be that pity. But Ed doesnt show his personality he doesnt show why it's fun to be with him and instead expects to buy love
@@Hidden1000 That's what happened to what we called "love" today!
@@ricardohoang8452 not really pop culture of our generation murdered that ideal most of us see as love, either ways love exists as long as both people vaule intimacy and hold an independent life to it
Also, He has AIDCAR
All he needs is a fishing rod and he's all set.
I hope Ed financially recovers from losing 10 Philippine Pesos (aka $0.20 USD)
this is so sad
So depressing!
It may be a cent to him but it's a gold to me
So what? It's still fucking rude that she just takes money out of his pocket
@Russian_ruster According to PPP (purchasing power) that's a bajillion pesos
That guy is like William Birkin: As he transforms, his head sinks further into his body.
Haha been playing the REmake recently and that got me
Pyrocynical is one of those rare people who can make a sponsor ad entertaining and that’s a fact
literally got his style from internet historian
Internet historian is the best at that.
"My daughter who is 29 now"
"My girlfriend is 23 years old"
>hummm
I mean, as long as it's legal
this man has no neck
Omg I just realized
That would embarrass his daughter. If I was his daughter.
The mayo man I think he cant give her mayo anymore
I’m sorry but this man said himself he smells like egg salad yet he has THE GALL to tell her her breath stinks??
Yes
tf is wrong with egg salad
@Sekiryūtei egg salad is fine, but a person SMELLING like an egg salad?
@@robloxbabe4012 if the goblin himself thinks her breath stinks imagine how bad it is.
@@MemphisCore Or he's one of those people who likes to criticise other people to feel better about himself
They are both the antagonist
10:24 Yes i can confirm i work the boom mic at tlc
So Ed’s girlfriend,
Is younger,
Than his daughter
No Rose is 23 and his daughter is 21
@@shabbirmalik 5:11 his daughter is 29
Ajla Omeragic ohh sorry misheard
Yes his daughter is 29
I said the same thing like what the fuck is with him? That’s creepy don’t date you get than your kids.
The reason why Ed doesn't use shampoo, is because he got insecure about using Head and Shoulders
Yeah, but why would he be insecure about that, plenty of people have dand- OHHH, HAHAA
ha!
Ouch. That's going to leave a mark.
Mr Victorian lmao haha
@top.comment.god
He has no neck and he has to turin his whole body to look any direction
HAHAHAHDGSDA
Does his hat say “bruh”? Bruh
(Edit): It does! I just learned the sign language alphabet so I’m very glad I could remember
Based
He looks like that human model that can take car crashes
I too, can steal insults from the internet
DUDE HE DOES THO OML!!!
Now I don’t have to feel bad for seeing the same thing.
@@grimthegrim2257 helo from 10 seconds ago
@BearSeek Berserker ultimate lifeform
I take ASL (American Sign Language) classes at my school, and frankly, the best use of my classes so far have been figuring out Pyrocinical's hat says "bruh" on it.
Bro same
where can i get one bruh
Same
@@DaveJonez hurb
HOLY SHIT SAME LMAO
They're like that one high school couple that *really* shouldn't be together but they still are for some reason
Poor Ed. He’s been carrying his story so hard that’s he both the protagonist and antagonist of his own story.
Before there was “so guys we did it” there was “CRAZIEST WOMEN EVER EATS SAND”
CAR SEX
Ah yes, the good ol' days
Truly a gem
MLG teletubbies
McBeagus how to pizza
Did nobody realize his daughter is older than his fiance
Have you read the comments?
*Neymar has joined the chat*
@An Egg that wants to hit 100 subs uh oh run mate he's gonna turn you into the next mayonnaise jar hes gonna lose
I don't want to like this comment because the like counter is at 666 likes.
that was the first thing i noticed..
Its like Icarus starring into the Sun. I cant stop. I need to know where this is going.
This is way different from the Rose and Ed that I saw in Full Metal Alchemist.
A man of culture I see
This man looks like he's always on the verge of crying
It's because all that weight on his legs hurt. Have you seen how anorexic his legs are
I would be too if i poped out the womb w no fukin neck mate
He's always on the verge of a heart attack
explains why he never uploads he's too busy getting 1 on trending by showing his eyes
SJ Games because Pyro is just really sad
so you telling me that this man is dating and want to marry a woman that 7 years younger than his daughter?!?!?
if my dad ever did that shit id be walking out on him
Yes
@@leytell5085 agree as civilize people we all have unwritten rule this is one of them
Yea pretty gross
Master Yoda I can’t beleave your alive
God, I was drinking beer and that completly random BURP at 7:15 got me so hard my nose got flooded
Ed is basically that one guy that picks the worst npc dialogue options
"If thy queen is asleep, thy PS4 shall beep." --Niggalations 100
Amen
Most underrated comment yet.
Niggalations 100
Ed looks like someone's first attempt at drawing Jack Black
Especially when he had glasses on
I just cannot believe there is a human without any neck at all, I am fascinated and cannot quit starring. If I saw him in public I could not stop staring at him, he is so goofy looking.
ed: i love you
rose: your ugly
ed: i love you
rose: your ugly
ed: does that mean i love you. i hope it means i love you
As a Filipino, I can confirm it does mean "I love you", I confessed to my crush once and that's what she said to me. Fun times :')
Father has returned with the sauce
:O
not as much sauce as ed
You mean the mayonnaise?
@@jthc5627 sPy FrOm GmOd WAnTs To knOe yOur MoMS cREaDiTCarD numBeR
Free My Father.
no neck big ed will go down in history as one of the strangest 90 day fiance characters of all time
We need your version of this, King Arthur 👑 Yes I see you ✨✨✨✨
@@kennethcases6952 haha my next one covering the stuff after this vid will be out in the next couple of days!
@@Arthur_TV My King doing God's work as always 👑 can't wait for the video ✨✨✨
"one of"!? The fuck kinda show is this?
"She's MacQueen" 🚛🚘
Pyro: u can watch anime
Probs every weeb: ANIME
People mock this man for his appearance. Keep in mind he's been married and _CHEATED WHILE MARRIED_ , meanwhile I struggle to talk to the girl I find attractive.
Lol thts on u tbh , you'd probably pull it off if u just spoke
Bro, if this guy can pull that off lookin and actin like that than anythings possible. You can do it bro
@@chemostar2361 thanks bruv, I'll try
he looked hot in the past tho. he didn't always look like a sweaty pig covered in mayo
@@adisgustingdegenerate8311 Shut up, I'm tryin to boost this man's confidence. Don't ruin it.
"We've been working on a long project since november"
Literally everyone: PeTsCoP 2?!??!?!?!?!?!
go i HOPE
we can only dream
Petscop 4
petscop sux
I read this comment when he said that
“Here’s a free top notch toothbrush and mouthwash”
“Ew no, ur ugly”
Lolololol
Bad breath is deff worst than mayo hair
imagine Rose just telling Ed's daughter to clan her room
10 pesos is about 20 cents. He’s tripping over less than a quarter
Its about 40 cents but yeah its still not much
@@noodlepotredacted4068 1$ ~ PHP 50 : PHP10 ~ .20$
@@noodlepotredacted4068 You're confusing Mexican Pesos to Philippines Pesos
@@amaranthine2053 oh am I? Nuts
Dude I can buy a gumball with that money
THAT MAN LOOKED LIKE HE WAS GONNA HAVE A STROKE OFF OF LETTING THE MAN KEEP THE CHANGE WHEN 10 PHILIPPINE PESOS IS 20 CENTS USD
He's Mr. Krabs from SpongeBob
* Mr Krabs laugh *
To be honest he does look like the human version of Mr Krabs
Somehow I have a feeling he either didn't hear how much it was or didn't understand how to convert pesos to dollars. Especially cuz the shit would've been way more expensive in the US, I can't imagine he's actually that cheap. Then again who knows.
Ed is a seal reincarnated as a human.
3:04 did this man ever here something called hair jell? Conditioner? SHAMPOO?
NO MAYONNAISE IS THE CORRECT HAIR PRODUCT
His daughter is 27 years old
But his "love of his life" is 23 years old, BEEG MOVE
29*
mad lad
You're getting close, but his daughter is actually 29.
petscop is over and everyone is in quarantine, you literally have no excuse pyro just finish the damn video
"finish the fight"
A NEW CHALLENGER HAS APPEARED
How do i turn off adblock
Leave it on for Pyro until he makes Petscop 2
@@SwissSauce oh ok
For those wondering, the gameplay footage with the pocket watch is called The Return of the Obra Dinn!
*Matthewmatosis intensifies*
THANK YOU SO MUCH
]
Bruh the money she's taking is nothing that first shirt was 180 pesos or like $4.50 cents
no it's 3.50$
@@basedandbiasedkakampink yeah it was a rough estimate
It looked like it was 100 dolla bills.
"we've been working on a big project"
*petscop 2 intensifies*
I've watched Petscop 1 10 times already pyro please make petscop 2
I think he might be serious because there was no random end scene. Or i could be wrong. One or the other.
This was my exact thought
Jokes on you he’s actually making “INSTANT REGRET PLAYLIST 2”
Fat cry 3 intensifies
im pretty sure the reason she took his wallet was so he didnt end up getting scammed or overpaying like they normally do to foreigners in markets like that
@-pirated content- yea in the majority of countries, everything 1:is overpriced in touristic places 2:high ball the prices to people that speak in an "outside" language
Yeah, even some of the local people don't even know the price of the stuffs in the market and get overcharged for stuffs
Also love that she spent 200 pesos (10 dollars) at a place and told the guy to keep like a dollar of change and he started freaking out
@I love myself yeah youre definitely right, which makes this so much worse lol
Or check what all he had on hand. But it's probably the former.
Can we put aside the mayo, character, logic (buys a ring before meeting but considers it's too hasty sleeping on one bed) etc. And take a moment to address the age? Because while it's clear that the girl is simply taking the opportunity for free gifts and shit I still can't go over the fact we are talking about a 31 year difference?
"I don't like leg hair, it's, GAAAROOOOSSS
“It is over 2 hours. So uh, it’s actually longer than Petscop”
Petscop... 2???
Shhhhhh it’s a secret
I thought the exact same thing
He also says since November which is around the same time that the petscop channel took a break from petscop 21 to the final petscop video that was released which was petscop 24 so
Im on my knees for it
CurryBoi same
Christian Velasco yes pyro petscop 2 plz , also montage parodies are cool again make those
His first marriage didn’t last because of infidelity, yet he talks about trust. 👁👄👁
Ironic amirite
Ur comment fucked up pal and now it looks like a single eye with a pair of lips with another eye awkwardly below the other eye, Just saying
bb poison yeah I saw that, kinda gay but whatever
I'm honestly surprised he managed to convince a SECOND woman to have sex with him. He must have REALLY wanted to cheat, which makes it even worse. He would have had to put time in to this infidelity...
big YIKES!
“And they say mayonnaise is a solid but its actually a liquid”
Me:wait people think its solid?
That's strange, nobody should remember the alternate timeline. Dashlane was a big help to fix reality.
Ed: *Mentions marriage*
pyro: *War flashbacks of his paid to be girlfriend*
Bella or hyojin? Which one of them?
i read "mentos marriage",
but why?
@@Freezorgium both
Freezorg the last time i was updated with pyro, he was still with hyojin,, what happened?
I was referring to belle delphine since 4:53
Pyro’s hairline is disappearing faster than Ed’s neck.
His neck was gone 20 years ago
Why you gotta do ma boi like that
Can't have eBoy hair if you have no hair
He's aging rapidly, he'll soon reach ColossalIsCrazy's age
Eddy from Ed Edd n Eddy neck type beat
I feel bad for the poor girl wanting to sacrifice herself to that toad just to make it to the USA. 😂😂😂😂😂
“Mayonnaise makes my skin all soft and touchable.”
ed: doesn't like leg hair on women
also ed: puts mayo in his hair
Standards am i right
she asked him to shave too though? compromise works both ways. not to mention, they’re both shitty anyway lmao he’s a creep and she’s a goldigger who only wants a greencard.
The dislikes are from Rose and all Ed’s abandoned children
@Arslan Batyrhan Not sure if you made the same mistake I did or not but I first read "All Rose and Ed's abandoned children" instead of "Rose" and "all Ed's abandoned children" and thought the same thing.
God Ed must be a Stud
*now that’s a lot a damage*
having cameras on you for a public reality tv show is totally different from having someone you just got into a relationship with ask you to take an std test, without offering to do the same, with said cameras still on you. that makes it clear from the start that ed was just in it for the sex and the attention he got from the show
19:23 I think this was the first time I've actually genuinely apologized to a CZcamsr during a video
"But Ed has a dark secret"
Me: His ne-?
*_"MAYONNAISE!"_*
nice materwelon doggo
SomeAustrianGuy eyyyy we have the same pfp
the language barrier is actually much bigger than you’d think; while some things may sound rude when translated to English, it sounds completely fine in Tagalog (Philippine language). and if sellers see a foreigner, they usually increase the prices, so it’s always good to have someone with you who knows the place and language. she could have explained to him why she was so aggressively reaching into his wallet like that lmao but English isn’t really her strong suit...
but i’m not on anyone’s side tbh it’s a whole train wreck lol
You're right. If Ed was buying it alone, the seller would've probably sold it for ₱500
True true
The real fuckin scam was that ugly ass flower hawaiian ass shirt for 480 pesos.
That ain't Quiapo prices hahaha.
Greenhills, maybe. But not Quiapo.
4:14 thank you for making this