The Mayo Man

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  • čas přidán 29. 04. 2020
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    this dude mayonnaise, cause he be saucin
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Komentáře • 20K

  • @Pyrocynical
    @Pyrocynical  Před 4 lety +7633

    Hey nerd, go to www.dashlane.com/pyrocynical and get 25% off premium using the code PYROCYNICAL
    it helps support the channel and I can buy a bubble tea

  • @vithaisman2712
    @vithaisman2712 Před 4 lety +4951

    He looks like a more realistic version of the human designed to survive car crashes.

  • @user-ci8gj7lt1f
    @user-ci8gj7lt1f Před 4 lety +5769

    Instead of bullying kids, pyro is now bullying middle-aged men

  • @owl9130
    @owl9130 Před 3 lety +2548

    His hat says "BRUH" in sign language for any of you all wondering.

  • @theonewhoisntdumb3852
    @theonewhoisntdumb3852 Před 3 lety +1063

    In the divorce, Ed got the money and his wife got his neck.

  • @Satan17
    @Satan17 Před 4 lety +3471

    At this point TLC should stand for Terrible Life Choices

  • @brandonneilsta.teresa3494
    @brandonneilsta.teresa3494 Před 4 lety +3024

    It's impossible to choke this guy to death.

  • @linhmac8097
    @linhmac8097 Před 3 lety +2075

    fun fact: ed is older than rose's dad

  • @soup4623
    @soup4623 Před 3 lety +1550

    "her breath stinks"
    puts literal mayo in his hair

    • @norcda6938
      @norcda6938 Před 3 lety +20

      Bruh moment

    • @user-th4pp7jb3p
      @user-th4pp7jb3p Před 2 lety

      They are worth each other

    • @chadmcmibil2929
      @chadmcmibil2929 Před 2 lety

      Mayo in your hair doesn’t affect your breath.

    • @thanosnoctem4473
      @thanosnoctem4473 Před 2 lety +15

      @@chadmcmibil2929 It does affect the odour of your body

    • @chadmcmibil2929
      @chadmcmibil2929 Před 2 lety

      @@thanosnoctem4473 I suppose but I guess I misphrased my point. It doesn’t matter though

  • @Zombeedog
    @Zombeedog Před 4 lety +10971

    Fun fact: *Ed was 31 when Rose was born*

    • @GMDire
      @GMDire Před 4 lety +200

      Skrillyy wow amazing

    • @commitfelonyfeline
      @commitfelonyfeline Před 4 lety +315

      😳

    • @KittyPikaChu
      @KittyPikaChu Před 4 lety +1021

      And his own daughter is older than her..

    • @Hussain-rw8wc
      @Hussain-rw8wc Před 4 lety +424

      No 23, becuase she is 31 years younger, so 54-31= 23. Quik mas bich

    • @pixellego4773
      @pixellego4773 Před 4 lety +307

      Unknown - ? How would she be 31 years younger if he was 23 years old when she was born bruh

  • @RyderLComics
    @RyderLComics Před 4 lety +3363

    TLC then: The Learning Channel
    TLC now: Terrible Living Conditions

  • @igorg5876
    @igorg5876 Před 3 lety +843

    When Ed was 40, taking care of his 15 year old daughter, Rose was 9

  • @SnakeSwarm
    @SnakeSwarm Před 3 lety +296

    Just to clear things up Rose wasn't grabbing from his wallet because she's a gold digger. Ed had previously told Rose to help him with the money because he didn't understand anything but American money.

  • @ethang408
    @ethang408 Před 4 lety +1961

    Anyone else realize how Ed doesn’t move his head when he looks he just turns his whole body

    • @OBSDCC7
      @OBSDCC7 Před 4 lety +167

      Cire not making a joke he really probably can’t turn his head that much he probably has a very real as evident by his non existent neck

    • @saudicomedyhomevideosksa8504
      @saudicomedyhomevideosksa8504 Před 4 lety +74

      Obsidian Mother He actually has a genetic disease, forgot what it was called

    • @jnaid
      @jnaid Před 4 lety +10

      @@saudicomedyhomevideosksa8504 وش ذا الاسم

    • @conroyboothe9616
      @conroyboothe9616 Před 4 lety +58

      His neck doesn't work

    • @MT-tn4ei
      @MT-tn4ei Před 4 lety +20

      Cire he’s like Micheal Keaton Batman

  • @hashansadaruwan7896
    @hashansadaruwan7896 Před 4 lety +2122

    When his daughter is older than the women he is trying to marry.

    • @soldatenhans8396
      @soldatenhans8396 Před 4 lety +16

      Hashan Sadaruwa- L

    • @joaquinocampo5713
      @joaquinocampo5713 Před 4 lety +38

      Half of my country live in poverty because of that some of the women here want some sugardaddy's

    • @orbit6663
      @orbit6663 Před 4 lety +17

      A similar thing happened with professional footballer Neymar
      His mother was dating a dude younger than him

    • @Mehmetfaldora
      @Mehmetfaldora Před 4 lety +4

      wow that's relatable Am I right ?

    • @ricardohoang8452
      @ricardohoang8452 Před 4 lety +9

      @@orbit6663 Thank god Neymar mama and that dude have been broken up as Neymar entire family disliked that!

  • @sigged
    @sigged Před 3 lety +101

    big ed was is the schematic for the fall guys bean character design
    the more you know

  • @MateAndMead
    @MateAndMead Před 3 lety +112

    I normally don't judge people on their looks but jesus christ he looks like the red M&M and I can't stop laughing

  • @miduo496
    @miduo496 Před 4 lety +1389

    Me: Mom can we get a Jack Black?
    Mom: We already have a Jack Black at home.
    Jack Black at home:

    • @garrytehbest
      @garrytehbest Před 4 lety +7

      You need more up votes my friend

    • @koopii
      @koopii Před 4 lety +16

      @@garrytehbest oh no we found the redditor
      you are not welcome here

    • @ionsu_
      @ionsu_ Před 4 lety

      Koopii sounds like him more than looks like I think

    • @shetookthekids5917
      @shetookthekids5917 Před 4 lety

      lol funny format , please make more xDDDD

    • @ryzers1268
      @ryzers1268 Před 4 lety +5

      Jack black from wish.com

  • @aintheidot9111
    @aintheidot9111 Před 4 lety +1889

    This guy doesn’t anatomically have a neck... the only way I can tell is seeing where the beard ends.

  • @nienel
    @nienel Před 3 lety +298

    OK I here have a list of why Ed big bad take it
    - he say her breath stinky (she had a stomach ucler which means it wasn't her fault)
    - he lied about his appearance
    - he probably should've studied the currencey before going to meet her, when she took money out of his wallet it was probably to risk getting scammed (sometimes if a tourist is in a foreign country the people overprice it because the tourists won't know)
    - with the (ahem) fun time he didn't say "i wanna do it when she's comfortable and we know eachother irl okay" he said when she takes an STD test
    - he's just very pushy with everything in general, he wants to put a ring on her finger like a week after he meets her

    • @justsogusto4979
      @justsogusto4979 Před 3 lety +27

      And he's *w i d e*

    • @illbeyourpokeman2260
      @illbeyourpokeman2260 Před 3 lety +23

      This is major facts like do you really expect to date someone from a third world country with them mutually understanding the dating standards of the US?? N*gga please....

    • @goodtoad5233
      @goodtoad5233 Před 3 lety

      On your last point, the girl wanted a ring before ed wanted to give her a ring.

    • @FeddytheReal
      @FeddytheReal Před 3 lety +5

      I love how you use the n-word but just fucking censor it like that makes it okay to use.

    • @IBL15
      @IBL15 Před 3 lety +9

      Also he said that Rose should shave her legs

  • @laurasalander7926
    @laurasalander7926 Před 3 lety +347

    I’ve worked in hiv-related organizations, and it should be normalized that everyone takes std tests (even if they are not sexually active, because this promotes said normalization). however, it’s important to be culturally conscious. for example, where I grew up, being asked to take that test is a big insult. it insinuates that one is “dirty on the inside”. so what ed expected was ok, but that was not a good approach.
    as a matter of fact, this was all a mess. I just wanted to inform commenters about std testing. always test before getting sexually active with a new partner (after as well). and ideally, every six months from the previous test.

    • @cranecanon3043
      @cranecanon3043 Před 3 lety +12

      Joke is on u i am virgen

    • @unknowngod8221
      @unknowngod8221 Před 3 lety +1

      @@cranecanon3043 ok you got karma?

    • @annabanana7659
      @annabanana7659 Před 2 lety +5

      And the fact that you asked someone to take an STD test on camera insinuating something is... yeah.

    • @Lely2.0
      @Lely2.0 Před 2 lety

      taking tests regularly is gay

    • @ghostpants338
      @ghostpants338 Před 2 lety +4

      @@Lely2.0 I’m very sick of the gay is an insult thing

  • @mrbobo1019
    @mrbobo1019 Před 4 lety +2421

    In rose’s defense, filipino culture is known to be pretty religious and traditional so i wouldn’t be surprised if she took him asking for an STD test as a way of telling her that she is basically “a dirty escort” (I’m half filipino and from what I’ve experienced and heard, there is a lot of shame and guilt around sex)

    • @flyingpenandpaper6119
      @flyingpenandpaper6119 Před 4 lety +239

      Yeah, that's exactly what I thought. Even if Pyro didn't actually know that, it's a bit retarded to not even suspect that that's the case.

    • @boredemsnewbestfriend6859
      @boredemsnewbestfriend6859 Před 4 lety +378

      in the whole clip she tells ed she'll do one if they do it together and he refuses because he "didn't feel safe" doing it in the Philippines. he's such a hypocrite.

    • @rare321gaming6
      @rare321gaming6 Před 4 lety +80

      Indeed dude that shit is taboo around here

    • @Bryian1125
      @Bryian1125 Před 4 lety +67

      Im pure filipino and i can confirm this

    • @Jabranalibabry
      @Jabranalibabry Před 4 lety +73

      I think asking that of anyone is a violation of their respect. And you're correct for someone in the East this is a huge deal and very disrespectful.

  • @justsillyrachet1737
    @justsillyrachet1737 Před 4 lety +1137

    Pyro: *complains about not being able to buy a car*
    Also pyro: *Buys a supreme brick*

    • @theresarayner5726
      @theresarayner5726 Před 4 lety +36

      That brick is a flesh light

    • @reimumario4733
      @reimumario4733 Před 4 lety +61

      also Pyro: pays Belle Delphine $3000 to play Minecraft with her and fails

    • @ScrappySlowbro
      @ScrappySlowbro Před 4 lety +5

      No let me educate you rachet he says he doesn't want a car just watch the minecraft video where the 7 year olds were along on a server for a week

    • @Tokax
      @Tokax Před 4 lety +1

      For a skit

    • @goaway20
      @goaway20 Před 4 lety +3

      @@ScrappySlowbro dude its a joke...

  • @bregottski
    @bregottski Před 3 lety +350

    Pyro: **Complains about his hairline**
    Me: **a 17 year old female with a forehead the size of 30 football fields stacked on top of each other** ._.

    • @BuboIsAlive
      @BuboIsAlive Před 3 lety +21

      I cant relate but lol

    • @justsogusto4979
      @justsogusto4979 Před 3 lety +36

      *Jacksfilms wants to know your location*

    • @thegreatcanadianlumberjack5307
      @thegreatcanadianlumberjack5307 Před 3 lety +23

      i'm a 24 year old man and my hairline is so bad i look like Bert and Ernie and even Ernie has a better hairline

    • @justsogusto4979
      @justsogusto4979 Před 3 lety +14

      @@thegreatcanadianlumberjack5307 no you're cute shut up

    • @illbeyourpokeman2260
      @illbeyourpokeman2260 Před 3 lety +1

      I can't relate but I have a friend who's 21 and he's balding so word of advice: hats
      Disclaimer: I ain't a minor so dw about who I talk to lol

  • @ILoveyou-im4ve
    @ILoveyou-im4ve Před 3 lety +116

    As an arab person i LOVE it when he writes arabic... it’s backwards..and cutted too..but funny

  • @minto8033
    @minto8033 Před 4 lety +1019

    His hat spells out b-r-u-h in sign language..I can't even

  • @parrot4879
    @parrot4879 Před 4 lety +7080

    The fact that his girlfriend is younger than his daughter is disturbing

    • @theTOPSTARrap
      @theTOPSTARrap Před 4 lety +67

      Yeah...

    • @ideclaredwaronyourfrenchas4123
      @ideclaredwaronyourfrenchas4123 Před 4 lety +292

      Semi-Irrelevant Boi women especially in southeast asian countries are desperate to get out from their country to live an easy life and a green card asap

    • @greasemonkey7221
      @greasemonkey7221 Před 4 lety +3

      You again

    • @fin4204
      @fin4204 Před 4 lety +1

      Your pfp looks like Ed

    • @Nightweaver1
      @Nightweaver1 Před 4 lety +12

      That's OK, I'm 40 and I'm about to start going after girls in their early 20s wish me luck. Haha j/k I know you won't.

  • @commitfelonyfeline
    @commitfelonyfeline Před 3 lety +578

    10 pesos....
    ...is 20 cents
    lol

  • @miriamrecio3233
    @miriamrecio3233 Před 3 lety +70

    idk if I misunderstood the joke at 14:31 but I'm pretty sure she wasn't offended because the test meant a lack of privacy. She was offended because it meant a lack of trust.

  • @geor
    @geor Před 4 lety +356

    "its longer than petscop" every sequel is longer than the original

    • @jimkerman5675
      @jimkerman5675 Před 4 lety +1

      cuss word sayer unless you strap them to a table and stretch their limbs

    • @BazookaSpliff
      @BazookaSpliff Před 4 lety +2

      PETSCOP 3 BABY

    • @whatevercal3056
      @whatevercal3056 Před 4 lety +1

      Better be petscop or I'm gonna tell my mom

    • @leenewman8567
      @leenewman8567 Před 4 lety +1

      The day of reckoning may of arrived brothers,finally we may view the glory that is petscop 2
      And if it ain't then :(

  • @foersterjunior
    @foersterjunior Před 4 lety +428

    He sounds and looks like a Jack Black designed by someone who never saw him but heard some drunk describe jack in a conversation one table away.

    • @taurxevc1725
      @taurxevc1725 Před 4 lety +1

      And also designed him whilst being drunk.

    • @xenrx9781
      @xenrx9781 Před 4 lety +3

      r/ rare insults

    • @luzbautista7342
      @luzbautista7342 Před 4 lety +1

      heard* I'm sorry, I'm such a dick but I really wanted to do this. It would bother me for the rest of my life if I didn't :/

    • @foersterjunior
      @foersterjunior Před 4 lety +1

      @@luzbautista7342 no clue what you are talking about... *evil laughter*

    • @joshuagallagher1133
      @joshuagallagher1133 Před 4 lety

      Nah more like danny devito

  • @someonesdad667
    @someonesdad667 Před 3 lety +30

    Ed is like a silenced sniper, he tried to supress every word he said in order for rose not to get offended but ended up making rose offended

  • @imakecontent2206
    @imakecontent2206 Před 3 lety +24

    This guy is literally head, shoulders, knees and toes.

  • @daviddotorg
    @daviddotorg Před 4 lety +723

    She was asking for his wallet because she is familiar with the currency. Ed has no idea what Pesos are, proven by the offence he took by 10 pesos.

    • @Joey099
      @Joey099 Před 4 lety +26

      Demoknight tf2

    • @Joey099
      @Joey099 Před 4 lety +1

      Demoknight tf2

    • @MrGGlafrite
      @MrGGlafrite Před 4 lety +46

      She wanted to pay because they ask for more money from non locals

    • @leenewman8567
      @leenewman8567 Před 4 lety +2

      That explains alot, thank you

    • @Joey099
      @Joey099 Před 4 lety +1

      @haianh dang Demoknight tf2

  • @colephillips9866
    @colephillips9866 Před 4 lety +2605

    His girlfriend is literally younger than his own daughter

  • @TayTayGrace03
    @TayTayGrace03 Před 3 lety +69

    Okay. This needs to be said.
    When *buying a wife on the internet.*
    *How the fuck do you not expect her to be a gold-digger.* Your whole relationship started with a financial transaction.
    I'm not even saying she IS a gold-digger, but if someone literally leaves their whole entire LIFE to move to a country they're completely unfamiliar with, where *they are legally not fucking allowed to work,* yeah, I expect the dude to pay for everything. He did this to himself. I'm sick of guys bait-and-switching these poor women who are WAY out of their league and then having the *nuts* to call them a fucking gold-digger, while also pushing them for sex and treating them like objects meant to service them.

    • @teslacoil5378
      @teslacoil5378 Před 3 lety +7

      @hyomin lee Yeah. Nobody would date someone like Ed for any other reason other than the money and the green card. Big surprise, considering that Ed is wider than he is tall.

    • @bawicz0
      @bawicz0 Před 3 lety +3

      Can you repeat that again
      Im illiterate

    • @illbeyourpokeman2260
      @illbeyourpokeman2260 Před 3 lety +7

      @@bawicz0 "Ed is the scumbag, she deserved better"

    • @Poppadop1
      @Poppadop1 Před 3 lety

      @@illbeyourpokeman2260 Yeah, but a lot of scumbags, not just from the US, but around the world, also have a lot of money, so... we gotta work on that...

    • @twbtsfan557
      @twbtsfan557 Před 3 lety +5

      I agree but the reason she took the money to pay is because Ed had no clue of the currency because he did no research, it was about 20 cents for the first dress

  • @CooperDooper38
    @CooperDooper38 Před 3 lety +47

    "Big Ed"?
    I thought that was Bri'ish for "Big Head"

    • @TH3C001
      @TH3C001 Před 2 lety +1

      ‘e’s got a rather big ‘ead don’t ‘e?

  • @globson8011
    @globson8011 Před 4 lety +989

    I can see why Rose doesnt like him. Not because he puts mayonaise in his hair, or that he is short, but the fact that he genetically has no neck.

    • @Hidden1000
      @Hidden1000 Před 4 lety +46

      It's not just the looks some usually can love and not be that pity. But Ed doesnt show his personality he doesnt show why it's fun to be with him and instead expects to buy love

    • @ricardohoang8452
      @ricardohoang8452 Před 4 lety +5

      @@Hidden1000 That's what happened to what we called "love" today!

    • @Hidden1000
      @Hidden1000 Před 4 lety +10

      @@ricardohoang8452 not really pop culture of our generation murdered that ideal most of us see as love, either ways love exists as long as both people vaule intimacy and hold an independent life to it

    • @toddkobelljr.2004
      @toddkobelljr.2004 Před 4 lety +8

      Also, He has AIDCAR

    • @Itariatan
      @Itariatan Před 4 lety +1

      All he needs is a fishing rod and he's all set.

  • @PhoenixRiseinFlame
    @PhoenixRiseinFlame Před 3 lety +756

    I hope Ed financially recovers from losing 10 Philippine Pesos (aka $0.20 USD)

    • @sup_a
      @sup_a Před 3 lety +60

      this is so sad

    • @NAME-yg8sl
      @NAME-yg8sl Před 3 lety +18

      So depressing!

    • @ammagon4519
      @ammagon4519 Před 3 lety +9

      It may be a cent to him but it's a gold to me

    • @tardwrangler1019
      @tardwrangler1019 Před 3 lety +14

      So what? It's still fucking rude that she just takes money out of his pocket

    • @arv7539
      @arv7539 Před 3 lety +2

      @Russian_ruster According to PPP (purchasing power) that's a bajillion pesos

  • @daeryk6424
    @daeryk6424 Před 3 lety +15

    That guy is like William Birkin: As he transforms, his head sinks further into his body.

    • @oisinkelly7189
      @oisinkelly7189 Před 3 lety +2

      Haha been playing the REmake recently and that got me

  • @bush_kit
    @bush_kit Před 3 lety +80

    Pyrocynical is one of those rare people who can make a sponsor ad entertaining and that’s a fact

    • @thesovietduck2121
      @thesovietduck2121 Před 2 lety +2

      literally got his style from internet historian

    • @swapsplat
      @swapsplat Před rokem

      Internet historian is the best at that.

  • @22freedom33
    @22freedom33 Před 4 lety +408

    "My daughter who is 29 now"
    "My girlfriend is 23 years old"
    >hummm

    • @MinuteMindsFun
      @MinuteMindsFun Před 4 lety +13

      I mean, as long as it's legal

    • @aids9943
      @aids9943 Před 4 lety +12

      this man has no neck

    • @Atrexiaa
      @Atrexiaa Před 4 lety +2

      Omg I just realized

    • @killertruth186
      @killertruth186 Před 4 lety +1

      That would embarrass his daughter. If I was his daughter.

    • @Atrexiaa
      @Atrexiaa Před 4 lety

      The mayo man I think he cant give her mayo anymore

  • @kyliee6406
    @kyliee6406 Před 4 lety +851

    I’m sorry but this man said himself he smells like egg salad yet he has THE GALL to tell her her breath stinks??

    • @fastspree9202
      @fastspree9202 Před 4 lety +7

      Yes

    • @MemphisCore
      @MemphisCore Před 4 lety +12

      tf is wrong with egg salad

    • @robloxbabe4012
      @robloxbabe4012 Před 4 lety +55

      @Sekiryūtei egg salad is fine, but a person SMELLING like an egg salad?

    • @MemphisCore
      @MemphisCore Před 4 lety +32

      @@robloxbabe4012 if the goblin himself thinks her breath stinks imagine how bad it is.

    • @drunkenwhaler9507
      @drunkenwhaler9507 Před 4 lety +3

      @@MemphisCore Or he's one of those people who likes to criticise other people to feel better about himself

  • @iodyufx2766
    @iodyufx2766 Před 3 lety +27

    They are both the antagonist

  • @michaelhanson5487
    @michaelhanson5487 Před 3 lety +20

    10:24 Yes i can confirm i work the boom mic at tlc

  • @micahbeckner2274
    @micahbeckner2274 Před 4 lety +1435

    So Ed’s girlfriend,
    Is younger,
    Than his daughter

    • @shabbirmalik
      @shabbirmalik Před 4 lety +8

      No Rose is 23 and his daughter is 21

    • @batchcat4315
      @batchcat4315 Před 4 lety +70

      @@shabbirmalik 5:11 his daughter is 29

    • @shabbirmalik
      @shabbirmalik Před 4 lety +26

      Ajla Omeragic ohh sorry misheard

    • @whitecat5782
      @whitecat5782 Před 3 lety +10

      Yes his daughter is 29

    • @FTMothman
      @FTMothman Před 3 lety +10

      I said the same thing like what the fuck is with him? That’s creepy don’t date you get than your kids.

  • @mrvictorian4004
    @mrvictorian4004 Před 4 lety +2436

    The reason why Ed doesn't use shampoo, is because he got insecure about using Head and Shoulders

  • @greasyweesie36
    @greasyweesie36 Před 3 lety +16

    He has no neck and he has to turin his whole body to look any direction

  • @p00p_eater
    @p00p_eater Před 3 lety +32

    Does his hat say “bruh”? Bruh
    (Edit): It does! I just learned the sign language alphabet so I’m very glad I could remember

  • @qqq386
    @qqq386 Před 4 lety +495

    He looks like that human model that can take car crashes

  • @rocketjumper1380
    @rocketjumper1380 Před 4 lety +1636

    I take ASL (American Sign Language) classes at my school, and frankly, the best use of my classes so far have been figuring out Pyrocinical's hat says "bruh" on it.

  • @DaDewd2112
    @DaDewd2112 Před 3 lety +7

    They're like that one high school couple that *really* shouldn't be together but they still are for some reason

  • @noblehobolo3968
    @noblehobolo3968 Před 2 lety +3

    Poor Ed. He’s been carrying his story so hard that’s he both the protagonist and antagonist of his own story.

  • @ItFoundMe
    @ItFoundMe Před 4 lety +925

    Before there was “so guys we did it” there was “CRAZIEST WOMEN EVER EATS SAND”

  • @Unipulse43
    @Unipulse43 Před 4 lety +1871

    Did nobody realize his daughter is older than his fiance

    • @coutster6494
      @coutster6494 Před 4 lety +31

      Have you read the comments?

    • @ratedpending
      @ratedpending Před 4 lety +15

      *Neymar has joined the chat*

    • @notstephen4225
      @notstephen4225 Před 4 lety +3

      @An Egg that wants to hit 100 subs uh oh run mate he's gonna turn you into the next mayonnaise jar hes gonna lose

    • @casperacy
      @casperacy Před 4 lety +1

      I don't want to like this comment because the like counter is at 666 likes.

    • @KaiserMattTygore927
      @KaiserMattTygore927 Před 4 lety +2

      that was the first thing i noticed..

  • @bbspooks
    @bbspooks Před 3 lety +11

    Its like Icarus starring into the Sun. I cant stop. I need to know where this is going.

  • @whiterabbit5939
    @whiterabbit5939 Před 3 lety +16

    This is way different from the Rose and Ed that I saw in Full Metal Alchemist.

  • @sjgames9104
    @sjgames9104 Před 4 lety +406

    This man looks like he's always on the verge of crying

    • @antoinemartin1872
      @antoinemartin1872 Před 4 lety +6

      It's because all that weight on his legs hurt. Have you seen how anorexic his legs are

    • @felicityhoneycutt8570
      @felicityhoneycutt8570 Před 4 lety +5

      I would be too if i poped out the womb w no fukin neck mate

    • @volkitolkitorino
      @volkitolkitorino Před 4 lety +6

      He's always on the verge of a heart attack

    • @josiahwood3959
      @josiahwood3959 Před 4 lety +3

      explains why he never uploads he's too busy getting 1 on trending by showing his eyes

    • @theoneandonlybryce2460
      @theoneandonlybryce2460 Před 4 lety +2

      SJ Games because Pyro is just really sad

  • @toeseater2855
    @toeseater2855 Před 4 lety +786

    so you telling me that this man is dating and want to marry a woman that 7 years younger than his daughter?!?!?

    • @leytell5085
      @leytell5085 Před 4 lety +66

      if my dad ever did that shit id be walking out on him

    • @juliuspavilovskis4862
      @juliuspavilovskis4862 Před 4 lety

      Yes

    • @riko2061
      @riko2061 Před 4 lety +27

      @@leytell5085 agree as civilize people we all have unwritten rule this is one of them

    • @tangerine7068
      @tangerine7068 Před 4 lety +3

      Yea pretty gross

    • @hobocatt
      @hobocatt Před 4 lety

      Master Yoda I can’t beleave your alive

  • @ARudePanda
    @ARudePanda Před 3 lety +8

    God, I was drinking beer and that completly random BURP at 7:15 got me so hard my nose got flooded

  • @StuffLIsrael
    @StuffLIsrael Před 3 lety +5

    Ed is basically that one guy that picks the worst npc dialogue options

  • @2Guys1CarTV
    @2Guys1CarTV Před 4 lety +358

    "If thy queen is asleep, thy PS4 shall beep." --Niggalations 100

  • @TalkOmadness
    @TalkOmadness Před 4 lety +236

    Ed looks like someone's first attempt at drawing Jack Black

  • @drmayne2071
    @drmayne2071 Před 3 lety +8

    I just cannot believe there is a human without any neck at all, I am fascinated and cannot quit starring. If I saw him in public I could not stop staring at him, he is so goofy looking.

  • @thatonepersonainp5793
    @thatonepersonainp5793 Před 3 lety +41

    ed: i love you
    rose: your ugly
    ed: i love you
    rose: your ugly
    ed: does that mean i love you. i hope it means i love you

    • @ammagon4519
      @ammagon4519 Před 3 lety +7

      As a Filipino, I can confirm it does mean "I love you", I confessed to my crush once and that's what she said to me. Fun times :')

  • @enderstone8415
    @enderstone8415 Před 4 lety +356

    Father has returned with the sauce

  • @Arthur_TV
    @Arthur_TV Před 4 lety +798

    no neck big ed will go down in history as one of the strangest 90 day fiance characters of all time

    • @kennethcases6952
      @kennethcases6952 Před 4 lety +10

      We need your version of this, King Arthur 👑 Yes I see you ✨✨✨✨

    • @Arthur_TV
      @Arthur_TV Před 4 lety +15

      ​@@kennethcases6952 haha my next one covering the stuff after this vid will be out in the next couple of days!

    • @kennethcases6952
      @kennethcases6952 Před 4 lety +7

      @@Arthur_TV My King doing God's work as always 👑 can't wait for the video ✨✨✨

    • @bergonath8851
      @bergonath8851 Před 3 lety +3

      "one of"!? The fuck kinda show is this?

  • @gustavopradella3186
    @gustavopradella3186 Před 3 lety +6

    "She's MacQueen" 🚛🚘

  • @gorf__
    @gorf__ Před 3 lety +10

    Pyro: u can watch anime
    Probs every weeb: ANIME

  • @porota6224
    @porota6224 Před 4 lety +235

    People mock this man for his appearance. Keep in mind he's been married and _CHEATED WHILE MARRIED_ , meanwhile I struggle to talk to the girl I find attractive.

    • @ovahlord1451
      @ovahlord1451 Před 4 lety +13

      Lol thts on u tbh , you'd probably pull it off if u just spoke

    • @chemostar2361
      @chemostar2361 Před 4 lety +16

      Bro, if this guy can pull that off lookin and actin like that than anythings possible. You can do it bro

    • @porota6224
      @porota6224 Před 4 lety +5

      @@chemostar2361 thanks bruv, I'll try

    • @adisgustingdegenerate8311
      @adisgustingdegenerate8311 Před 4 lety +6

      he looked hot in the past tho. he didn't always look like a sweaty pig covered in mayo

    • @chemostar2361
      @chemostar2361 Před 4 lety +15

      @@adisgustingdegenerate8311 Shut up, I'm tryin to boost this man's confidence. Don't ruin it.

  • @sachii193
    @sachii193 Před 4 lety +819

    "We've been working on a long project since november"
    Literally everyone: PeTsCoP 2?!??!?!?!?!?!

  • @theezy4441
    @theezy4441 Před 2 lety +1

    “Here’s a free top notch toothbrush and mouthwash”
    “Ew no, ur ugly”
    Lolololol
    Bad breath is deff worst than mayo hair

  • @kirb1128
    @kirb1128 Před 3 lety +8

    imagine Rose just telling Ed's daughter to clan her room

  • @micahbrunet5523
    @micahbrunet5523 Před 4 lety +577

    10 pesos is about 20 cents. He’s tripping over less than a quarter

    • @noodlepotredacted4068
      @noodlepotredacted4068 Před 4 lety +21

      Its about 40 cents but yeah its still not much

    • @caelum7717
      @caelum7717 Před 4 lety +12

      @@noodlepotredacted4068 1$ ~ PHP 50 : PHP10 ~ .20$

    • @amaranthine2053
      @amaranthine2053 Před 4 lety +85

      @@noodlepotredacted4068 You're confusing Mexican Pesos to Philippines Pesos

    • @noodlepotredacted4068
      @noodlepotredacted4068 Před 4 lety +11

      @@amaranthine2053 oh am I? Nuts

    • @pepsoi811
      @pepsoi811 Před 4 lety +9

      Dude I can buy a gumball with that money

  • @40pcMcNuggies
    @40pcMcNuggies Před 4 lety +303

    THAT MAN LOOKED LIKE HE WAS GONNA HAVE A STROKE OFF OF LETTING THE MAN KEEP THE CHANGE WHEN 10 PHILIPPINE PESOS IS 20 CENTS USD

    • @loopsbrother2903
      @loopsbrother2903 Před 4 lety +14

      He's Mr. Krabs from SpongeBob

    • @lowqualityadventures9296
      @lowqualityadventures9296 Před 4 lety +2

      * Mr Krabs laugh *

    • @darthball2723
      @darthball2723 Před 4 lety

      To be honest he does look like the human version of Mr Krabs

    • @weniswarrior666
      @weniswarrior666 Před 4 lety +1

      Somehow I have a feeling he either didn't hear how much it was or didn't understand how to convert pesos to dollars. Especially cuz the shit would've been way more expensive in the US, I can't imagine he's actually that cheap. Then again who knows.

  • @owenwillfindyou334
    @owenwillfindyou334 Před 3 lety +6

    Ed is a seal reincarnated as a human.

  • @nevadash
    @nevadash Před 3 lety +7

    3:04 did this man ever here something called hair jell? Conditioner? SHAMPOO?

    • @caramou8614
      @caramou8614 Před 3 lety

      NO MAYONNAISE IS THE CORRECT HAIR PRODUCT

  • @paulchan5345
    @paulchan5345 Před 4 lety +248

    His daughter is 27 years old
    But his "love of his life" is 23 years old, BEEG MOVE

  • @SwissSauce
    @SwissSauce Před 4 lety +7735

    petscop is over and everyone is in quarantine, you literally have no excuse pyro just finish the damn video

  • @ampfox2665
    @ampfox2665 Před 3 lety +9

    For those wondering, the gameplay footage with the pocket watch is called The Return of the Obra Dinn!

  • @reclusiarchgrimaldus1811
    @reclusiarchgrimaldus1811 Před 3 lety +16

    Bruh the money she's taking is nothing that first shirt was 180 pesos or like $4.50 cents

  • @FritoTheLay
    @FritoTheLay Před 4 lety +234

    "we've been working on a big project"
    *petscop 2 intensifies*

    • @mimp3486
      @mimp3486 Před 4 lety +10

      I've watched Petscop 1 10 times already pyro please make petscop 2

    • @williamchicas1208
      @williamchicas1208 Před 4 lety +4

      I think he might be serious because there was no random end scene. Or i could be wrong. One or the other.

    • @goofygoober2749
      @goofygoober2749 Před 4 lety +3

      This was my exact thought

    • @ddl3718
      @ddl3718 Před 4 lety +2

      Jokes on you he’s actually making “INSTANT REGRET PLAYLIST 2”

    • @Cat-ki3hy
      @Cat-ki3hy Před 4 lety +1

      Fat cry 3 intensifies

  • @joshb9663
    @joshb9663 Před 4 lety +1859

    im pretty sure the reason she took his wallet was so he didnt end up getting scammed or overpaying like they normally do to foreigners in markets like that

    • @lugoorstar
      @lugoorstar Před 3 lety +47

      @-pirated content- yea in the majority of countries, everything 1:is overpriced in touristic places 2:high ball the prices to people that speak in an "outside" language

    • @yuzurubrijer4556
      @yuzurubrijer4556 Před 3 lety +21

      Yeah, even some of the local people don't even know the price of the stuffs in the market and get overcharged for stuffs

    • @huntertolstat8688
      @huntertolstat8688 Před 3 lety +40

      Also love that she spent 200 pesos (10 dollars) at a place and told the guy to keep like a dollar of change and he started freaking out

    • @huntertolstat8688
      @huntertolstat8688 Před 3 lety

      @I love myself yeah youre definitely right, which makes this so much worse lol

    • @user-fq4hj8yv2z
      @user-fq4hj8yv2z Před 3 lety

      Or check what all he had on hand. But it's probably the former.

  • @scarecrow2097
    @scarecrow2097 Před 3 lety +6

    Can we put aside the mayo, character, logic (buys a ring before meeting but considers it's too hasty sleeping on one bed) etc. And take a moment to address the age? Because while it's clear that the girl is simply taking the opportunity for free gifts and shit I still can't go over the fact we are talking about a 31 year difference?

  • @ganjgundam1
    @ganjgundam1 Před 3 lety +3

    "I don't like leg hair, it's, GAAAROOOOSSS

  • @christianvelasco4594
    @christianvelasco4594 Před 4 lety +446

    “It is over 2 hours. So uh, it’s actually longer than Petscop”
    Petscop... 2???

    • @mrcartoonbaronfunnies
      @mrcartoonbaronfunnies Před 4 lety +8

      Shhhhhh it’s a secret

    • @anapaulapedro7025
      @anapaulapedro7025 Před 4 lety +15

      I thought the exact same thing

    • @Zcccide
      @Zcccide Před 4 lety +14

      He also says since November which is around the same time that the petscop channel took a break from petscop 21 to the final petscop video that was released which was petscop 24 so
      Im on my knees for it

    • @Manjustman_25806
      @Manjustman_25806 Před 4 lety +3

      CurryBoi same

    • @swayze_mane
      @swayze_mane Před 4 lety +3

      Christian Velasco yes pyro petscop 2 plz , also montage parodies are cool again make those

  • @kestrel2045
    @kestrel2045 Před 4 lety +1410

    His first marriage didn’t last because of infidelity, yet he talks about trust. 👁👄👁

    • @instantramen4588
      @instantramen4588 Před 4 lety +31

      Ironic amirite

    • @eastplnes5158
      @eastplnes5158 Před 4 lety +33

      Ur comment fucked up pal and now it looks like a single eye with a pair of lips with another eye awkwardly below the other eye, Just saying

    • @kestrel2045
      @kestrel2045 Před 4 lety +5

      bb poison yeah I saw that, kinda gay but whatever

    • @markfrisby608
      @markfrisby608 Před 4 lety +19

      I'm honestly surprised he managed to convince a SECOND woman to have sex with him. He must have REALLY wanted to cheat, which makes it even worse. He would have had to put time in to this infidelity...

    • @clipsotrips6657
      @clipsotrips6657 Před 4 lety +1

      big YIKES!

  • @shisuiuchiha1800
    @shisuiuchiha1800 Před 3 lety +3

    “And they say mayonnaise is a solid but its actually a liquid”
    Me:wait people think its solid?

  • @bartholomulesphensvil2284

    That's strange, nobody should remember the alternate timeline. Dashlane was a big help to fix reality.

  • @daikonraikou9774
    @daikonraikou9774 Před 4 lety +323

    Ed: *Mentions marriage*
    pyro: *War flashbacks of his paid to be girlfriend*

    • @Freezorgium
      @Freezorgium Před 4 lety

      Bella or hyojin? Which one of them?

    • @deakkristof1818
      @deakkristof1818 Před 4 lety

      i read "mentos marriage",
      but why?

    • @athena8474
      @athena8474 Před 4 lety

      @@Freezorgium both

    • @hiraya3395
      @hiraya3395 Před 4 lety

      Freezorg the last time i was updated with pyro, he was still with hyojin,, what happened?

    • @daikonraikou9774
      @daikonraikou9774 Před 4 lety

      I was referring to belle delphine since 4:53

  • @rebelappliance771
    @rebelappliance771 Před 4 lety +451

    Pyro’s hairline is disappearing faster than Ed’s neck.

  • @user-sz3nn1vv1z
    @user-sz3nn1vv1z Před 5 měsíci +1

    I feel bad for the poor girl wanting to sacrifice herself to that toad just to make it to the USA. 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @MegaWolf5741
    @MegaWolf5741 Před 3 lety +2

    “Mayonnaise makes my skin all soft and touchable.”

  • @BintangGMoeller
    @BintangGMoeller Před 4 lety +532

    ed: doesn't like leg hair on women
    also ed: puts mayo in his hair

    • @entruh4520
      @entruh4520 Před 4 lety +10

      Standards am i right

    • @jillianc7485
      @jillianc7485 Před 4 lety +5

      she asked him to shave too though? compromise works both ways. not to mention, they’re both shitty anyway lmao he’s a creep and she’s a goldigger who only wants a greencard.

  • @grumpy8670
    @grumpy8670 Před 4 lety +663

    The dislikes are from Rose and all Ed’s abandoned children

    • @albertmccarthy8103
      @albertmccarthy8103 Před 4 lety

      @Arslan Batyrhan Not sure if you made the same mistake I did or not but I first read "All Rose and Ed's abandoned children" instead of "Rose" and "all Ed's abandoned children" and thought the same thing.

    • @theresarayner5726
      @theresarayner5726 Před 4 lety +1

      God Ed must be a Stud

    • @dxgames1428
      @dxgames1428 Před 4 lety +1

      *now that’s a lot a damage*

  • @ruesylvester
    @ruesylvester Před 3 lety +4

    having cameras on you for a public reality tv show is totally different from having someone you just got into a relationship with ask you to take an std test, without offering to do the same, with said cameras still on you. that makes it clear from the start that ed was just in it for the sex and the attention he got from the show

  • @ThePurpleAnon
    @ThePurpleAnon Před 2 lety +3

    19:23 I think this was the first time I've actually genuinely apologized to a CZcamsr during a video

  • @SomeAustrianGuy_
    @SomeAustrianGuy_ Před 4 lety +535

    "But Ed has a dark secret"
    Me: His ne-?
    *_"MAYONNAISE!"_*

    • @edurkaya0
      @edurkaya0 Před 4 lety +1

      nice materwelon doggo

    • @martin-hk4vz
      @martin-hk4vz Před 4 lety +1

      SomeAustrianGuy eyyyy we have the same pfp

  • @tardybloomer
    @tardybloomer Před 4 lety +272

    the language barrier is actually much bigger than you’d think; while some things may sound rude when translated to English, it sounds completely fine in Tagalog (Philippine language). and if sellers see a foreigner, they usually increase the prices, so it’s always good to have someone with you who knows the place and language. she could have explained to him why she was so aggressively reaching into his wallet like that lmao but English isn’t really her strong suit...
    but i’m not on anyone’s side tbh it’s a whole train wreck lol

    • @cherry414
      @cherry414 Před 4 lety +29

      You're right. If Ed was buying it alone, the seller would've probably sold it for ₱500

    • @junigearx7452
      @junigearx7452 Před 4 lety +1

      True true

    • @juancarlospanlilio9785
      @juancarlospanlilio9785 Před 4 lety +11

      The real fuckin scam was that ugly ass flower hawaiian ass shirt for 480 pesos.
      That ain't Quiapo prices hahaha.
      Greenhills, maybe. But not Quiapo.

  • @darthvader246
    @darthvader246 Před 3 lety +1

    4:14 thank you for making this