Mayo Man's Dark Return...
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- čas přidán 30. 05. 2021
- My long awaited nemesis returns
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► New Outro music: • How I made Pyrocynical...
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BROFIST ........... - Komedie
I livestream now, follow the funny here.
www.twitch.tv/pyrocynical
Ok
no i dont think i will
me first
lol
Amogus
He’s stopped bullying the underaged and has started bullying the middle aged.
character development
can’t wait until he starts bullying the dead💯
I like kids yum
How does this has 56 likes! THE VID WAS POSTED 25 SECUNDS AGO!!!
The Pyrocynical cycle
Nobody forget.
This man has a daughter. And she is older than the women he chases.
😂😂😂
Wut?Oh you are talking about ed. I thought you were talking about pyro
Yeah, i think pyro is way too nice to this guy. He’s pretty despicable.
Which to be fair, wouldn't be so much of a problem if he wasn't such a pig about it.
BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Imagine your at someone's house and they just say, "Ed get in here and spin" and some small child spins around on the floor
And then that kid vomits all over your body.
SPEEEN
“baby come out her and show your auntie what you showed me last night “
I wouldn't question it tbh. kids like to do weird shit sometimes
That's the funniest shit I have ever heard.
Big ed with a moustache looks like a drug cartel boss
Current ed looks like he used up all thoose drugs
@@regularbloke2117 lmao yeah
Lookin like pooby Escobar
He really does
He look kinda hot!
Mustache Ed I mean.
“There’s a difference between being charismatic and filling up the dead air with noise” is my new favorite statement, thank you Pyro.
Thank you pyro
Thank you pyro
Thank you pyro
Thank you pyro
"Living as Jesus and Ronald Reagan would have wanted" is my favorite.
The cringe that radiates from Ed is equivalent to standing 10 meters from the elephant's foot of Chernobyl.
Not really. The Elephant's Foot will take 3 minutes to kill you. Ed's cringe is instant death.
On god I literally couldn’t finish the video
he really looks like it too
indeed, I couldn't even finish Pyro's vid cause I could feel the cringe slowly killing me.
@@sharpkniveinlatvian1746 Ed's cringe death is faster than instant
This dude could make it big as a Danny DeVito impersonator
he doesn't have the charisma or talent for that
Danny DeVito is infinitely more charismatic than Ed. Ill bang Danny if given a choice
Aint nobody gonna match the godlike presence of the "Trashman" himself
He sure is trash, but he can't impersonate the Trashman
Who needs charisma when you've got a wad of hundreds and a magnum dong?
'You should date somebody who adores you." Well, dating your own mum is weird and illegal, so...
*Dates dad instead*
Dates dog instead
@@HaveANiceDayLol. suddenly gay
This comment was ahead of its time
its not illegal if no one finds out
Why did that “Hells Kitchen” violin actually fit with that moment?!?
It's actually a waterphone
he also laughed like pewdiepie wtf
Because it's so overused to the point it can fit into anything
Becuasue its a gamer moment
Kitchen nightmares actually
"seeing Liz get emotion tonight and crying, i see that as a positive"
ah yes, the release of tears is sweet nectar for big ed.
69 likes nice
@@SmileThem same
Seeing you here is weird
He drinks those tears out of his Big Ed travel mug which can be bought on his merch site for 13.99$.
Idk what to say uh hi
I like how he has to turn his whole body to look in any direction.
George Clooney batsuit headass.
Or was it Michael Keaton...
15:55 I love how he clearly rehearsed these lines as no human would actually talk like this.
It's insane how much hope Ed has in "dating" women who are not only very out of his league, much younger, taller than him, and who display such clear signs that they're not actually interested. Scarily impressive.
One word, money
N' clout
Nah Edds out of everyone else’s league
It's entirely because of the cameras
Bruh if he wasn’t on camera there’s no chance
I'm surprised there wasn't a single Breaking Bad reference in this video.
yeah there were
Your god damn right
@@absoluteidiotslive9978 I didn’t notice one either, where was it?
@@blankblank9707 you just didn’t get it
@@absoluteidiotslive9978 nah I must have missed it, what was the reference?
“Mom I want draco Malfoy”
“we have draco malfoy at home”
Draco Malfoy at home:
Draco at home is infinitely better than normal draco
21:50 How much did the producers pay that poor woman to start dating and eventually kiss that land manatee?
Don't you dare say that about ed
big ed's love life is like a car crash you just can't look away from
hi :)
Holy shit
damn the first heart ive seen from pyro congrats
Uhm....yes, relatable
I think you mean a moped crash
They should have played the “Hells Kitchen” violin when Ed tried to kiss her
Bro I won't lie I cringed so hard I had to stop the vid and take a walk
@@theshoe17 I do that too when I cringe so hard. Glad I'm not the only one lol.
You mean Kitchen Nightmares?
It's called a waterphone
@@SovietMarmalade It does the sound effect on both shows but yeah I should've said Kitchen Nightmares
the fact big ed kissed a girl before me is just honestly depressing uno
He has a fucking daughter.
@@hoodedman6579 a WHAT?
@@ImperiumLibertas He has a daughter.
Uhhh
Ed was married for a few years and dated quite a bit
@@agentartyom3412 nah that not a daughter, thats a fatherless tortured soul
When he swung that club and had to turn his WHOLE body-
Ed looks like the 3D rendering of how people would evolve to survive car crashes
Now that you bring it up, what do think the limit is for Ed? I bet he could easily survive a 70 mph car crash.
The guy is so short that the car crash would even affect him
He's from the future. He's a superior life form and we're simply not evolved enough to understand him.
how do ppl come up with this?... what a legend
@@catoticneutral we'll most likely never be evolved enough to understand big Ed
I bet spinning on his head is what pushed Ed’s neck back into his shoulders.
LMAO
this needs more likes🤚
Fuck I spit out my water reading this
I was going to say that, it honestly make sense. Like especially if he did it a lot when he was a child.
my thoughts exactly
Dude should go back to his mustache phase. He looked handsome as fuck.
When I saw that image I was just like, "you had a neck once? What the hell did you do to lose it??"
@@bag-manbaron2547 it's literally just weight which is pretty sad
@@Vivacomunismo all he needs to do is lose weight
@@Vivacomunismo his double chin hides his actual chin and neck
I can empathize with the girl's disgust of the Penguin, but I guess she did what she had to for some money and fame.
Ed went from a handsome presentable young man with a sweet mustache and a girthy neck to a neckless dwarf mayonnaise warrior with a mid-life crisis and no dating skills.
that's a combination of words I never thought I'd ever hear
To this huh
This sounds fake but it’s real….
Sooo....Nikocado?
@@___blocked 💀
“I got a haircut” i literally cannot tell what changed
He went from crack addict, then back to the Karen haircut
@@Cryhai things been rough since the managers started talking back
He’s more Karen now
@@Cryhai yea
Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?
Ed has a cult of personality with the only member being himself. Like seriously, a tattoo of his own face?
his charecter is like an overengineered michael scott
Pyrocinical has unlocked an achievement: Karen haircut.
This is gonna get popular gitrbsjsjb
More like pen-sus
Haha you're so original it's not like so many people including pyro himself made the joke already
@@poffydaisy5134 haha ikr
he already had it long ago but it was white
Ed's a proud survivor of being hit over the head by a Looney Tunes character
He's only proud because he has no brain left to defend as a result
Bugs bunny in the distance "that's l folks"
I thought you were talking about Pyros haircut and I started laughing, then I realized this was about Ed and I laughed harder
Feed him to the coyote!!
Yeah, like he got his head got hit with a 6 foot mallet
10:34 Ed is like that new save file where you choose all the wrong choices in a story.
19:05 "Imagine Ed running in any physical capacity."
The only physical thing here is my mental pain.
-the haircut
-the commentary
-the bedroom
Pyro has returned to his first, natural state
He even did the mlg
Guys we did it...
he didn't bring back the deep fake voice tho
Can't wait for him to bully children again
@@ammagon4519 boi what the hell is ur pfp 😳
Now this is epic , he sounds like himself again.
Bruh it’s the hairr
@@Comedyshortsgamer20000 it gives him power
Pyrogum
Guys we did it we reached a quarter...
@@cyberseai9305 of a million kids touched on discord
ed a legend in the game
Checkmark lad, free internet points
Holy shit you watch pyro?
Hey Billy what’s up?
ayy
its the guy whose songs I use in my shitty fragmovies. I love you bro - no homo
Grim uses ur songs
14:23 "You guys remember Beyblades?" *Launching my burst beyblades in a stadium while watching the current season via a VPN* Never heard of it my guy.
Also I'm still baffled that TLC stands for The *"Learning"* Channel for all these years. Can't wait for kids to study about Big ED for their upcoming exam with TLC
"he used to spin on his head like a top"
no wonder his neck is so short
What neck
exactly
Finally some backstory on big Ed. He lost his neck from spinning on his head like a top as a kid and it crumpled like a soda can
15:37 no way he made that TLOU joke man 😭 RIP Joel
I do genuinely want a Big Ed origin story, like, what causes a regular average person to become this... this _entity?_
An irresponsible mother.
Self hate + narcisit complex
“He used to spin on his head like a little cap”
*maybe that’s why he lost his neck”
“Rest, in peace neck.”
did she say cap or top
@@ay-leck1369 top
@@abithapa9099 bottom
@@blightedcrowmain8236 Left
You know Pyro knows the age of his audience when he has to make sure they know what beyblades are
unfortunately most of his viewers knows beyblades
@@theonlyplain fortunately*
Oh god kirby
@GreasyLeechy ah one of the small children we were talking about
@GreasyLeechy Your*
Danny Devito + Danzig - talent/acting ability = Big Ed
I’m never gonna stop asking for petscop 2
There is something weirdly funny about pyro being green screened in his own room
It just works.
i peed.
Real life hit marker greenscreen
It's really wholesome that pyro put his dad in the background
He’s in prison akh how could he be there
Rip
Bruhhhhhhh
oh nooo
Oh shit thats really dark man, I thought you were talking about the plant so I was like oh leafyishere haha thats a good joke but just then PYRO started talking about the skeleton
I love the Jerma cutaway because it implies he was watching the video along with me the whole time to look for questionable content
Pyro is talking about Ed’s dad energy too much because he is looking for a father figure to replace his dad from prison.
Seeing him in a collared shirt is the funniest thing I've ever seen
If that’s the funniest thing you’ve ever seen, I feel very bad for you
His neck is gone
I didn't fully understand what people meant when they said he had no neck, yeah I understand it now
@@sawyerzavala1073 you fell? i hope you're ok.
@@sawyerzavala1073 i was about to say this lol
No-neck Ed: “M’lady”
*Throws head back into the wall* AAAAAAA-
OH GOSH A REDDITOR
pyrocynical saying "gratuluje" in polish is now stuck in my head forever
15:26 Pyro’s references are top tier
He's like a Tesco's own value Danny DeVito.
Plz why is this true 💀
dont insult danny devito like that man 😭
Don’t make me laugh...!! That hertz:/
More like a Taste The Difference
Fuck is tesco
Thats not a widow's peak, thats a widow's everest.
PLSSS 🤚💀
Widow's summit
Bruh, yes
0:10
"Oh God, Pyrocynical is a Karen all along ?"
"Always has been"
*Bang*
this man breaks a sweat doing literally anything i feel less alone
No Breaking Bad references?
Pyro really is going for his old commentary.
Holy crap your right 😱
Frankly it's disgusting, the lack of breaking bad memes
he slipped a fc3 meme so its ok
@@redmist6630 True
The only thing i missed is him raging and bullying kids
Pyro at the barbershop:
Barber: What can I get for you today?
Pyro: The manager
Barber: Say no more
karencynical
@@fanabot4048 kek
The fact that you throw in so many refrences from the past makes me literally question what time this video was made and i love it
Bro young big Ed with the mustache was like genuinely good looking wtf
I physically jumped when Ed went for that kiss, god that was painfully cringe.
I had to stop watching momentarily to prevent my soul from leaving my body, God do I feel for the lady, they got it on camera as well 🥶
NO! NO! NO! Many people say I am sick in the head. NOOOO!!!! I don't believe them. But there are so many people commenting this stuff on my videos, that I have 1% doubt. So I have to ask you right now: Do you think I am sick in the head? Thanks for helping, my dear kay
no you mentaly jumped
@That’s one smug wojak what? english 100
@That’s one smug wojak girl stfu
I’m surprised there wasn’t a single breaking bad reference in this entire video congratulations
dissapointed*
@Hero Games no way
@Hero Games ffs can he make ONE video without a BB or JJBA reference?
Evangelion reference though
no dark souls in sight, either. man's really moving up in life, huh
That man's entire existence makes me want to implode.
20:58 god it’s like a wattpad story 😭🤚🏻
he looks like a 13 year old that asked the waitress because his friends dared him to
Yeah he does....but what do you think of the mayo man dude?
its genuinely hard to imagine what series of events led to big ed being who he is
The life of a manlit
Some things aren’t meant to be known
Spinning on his head maybe
@@ihatethatyoutubedisplaysyo8106 more like being dropped on his head😂 i think momma ed isnt telling the whole truth
Fr man went from not bad looking to a blob
god these edits are so fucking good
Facts
The Mayonaise almost made me throw up my food that I had in my mouth
Ed should collaborate with beyblade and make his own line of them to save a future generation of spinning necks.
The anime of those products: spinning mayo! Let it RIP!
(or whatever they say again when they spin the bayblade)
@@jesse3391 yes, and it should say Love Yourself along the sides
@@jesse3391 mayonnaise! Let it rip!
@@yeah4710
Ah thx
I can just imagine that when he gets in a fight he goes on his head and starts doing spinjitzu
I cant be the only one who forgot he wasnt in his old bedroom until he took down the green screen.
i couldnt stop looking at the horrible green screen signs
"let me guess. Your home?"
"It was. And it was beautiful."
ik it hurts me
The only thing that was missing is pyro raging
Once again Pyro, you're unknowingly helping me through a break up. Never change.
L.
I see Ed and I feel a deep fear of ending up the same way. Then I remember... I have a neck.
Pyro keeps trying to find reasons to defend Ed, but directly after each attempt, Ed does something despicable.
It gets more difficult the more he tries.
And now a call got leaked that revealed even more of how much of a scumbag he is.
@@Dragonemperess but why leave us on a cliffhanger, instead of elaborating :/
@@hehexd5317 He was cussing out Liv, being super manipulative and kicking her out of the house he begged her to move into. He blocked Liv and went to Vegas to take pictures with his sugar babies. He’s literally insane.
@@hehexd5317 Not only that, he was fighting with her in the call just because she gave a coworker a ride home instead of going straight to her house. He was saying “Liz you’re fucked up. Why would you take your coworker home.”
@@fivefoldkiss Is it bad that I think less of you for knowing this information and I think much less of myself for clicking on the video.
Big Ed has dad energy. Ya know, the type of dad that never had a kid.
But he has a daughter though
@@binguscat2514 and she's older than Rose
@@binguscat2514 Correction: the type of dad who shouldn’t have a kid
In a world rulled by Macho man's it is illegal to be a MAYO man.
Ed looks like his DNA is 90% mayonnaise
pyro didnt even show the worst of ed's cringe, during the date with ed's daughter and liz, Ed literally says: "wow you two are the same age"
He also mentioned that she was born the same week of his divorce and proceeded to tell her its fate.
@@runjennierun07 That's like renting an Airbnb where 5 children died and your friend is insisting it's good luck.
?
@@runjennierun07 bruh
@@runjennierun07 🤮
Pyrocynical's new hair is making him look like a dollar store Draco Malfoy.
I'm in
Pyro Malfoy
@shardo malfoycynical
you mean "wish" versions Draco Malfoy lol...
Can't wait for the video where he's replaced by Tom Felton and doesn't acknowledge it
“No it’s not…wait what’s math again?”
*wait…wh-what is math*
Whenever you mentioned golf I instantly knew you would show the TLOU2 scene. lmao
Big Ed is legit built like a Mucinex germ
Hey its you
Ok
Poor mayo man 😔
My channel is better than Pyrocynical check out the latest video I talk about why he’s gay
I’ve seen you before
Big Ed looks like a compressed Jack Black
xD
He’s the great value brand
Jack Black fitgirl repack
Jack Black WinRAR edition
Hey!! That’s insulting to Jack Black. I’d say that he’s the thrift store version
still my fav video from pyros non-deep voice era
Ed, spinning on his head: It wont mess my neck up!
Ed now: I was a bayblade and I wound up looking like Danny Devito who got Bonked...
Im genuinely scared to see how Big Ed looks like with a neck.
He’d probably need to lose all that weight for us to find it.
@@_V.Va_ Bro thats impossible
The peak of masculinity
Search up Big Ed young and you could find it
@@_V.Va_ He suffers from Klippel Feil syndrome
I forgot Pyro was actually using a green screen for a second and was questioning why he looked so pale and green like Mr Shrek
Ok Nagatoro, very cool, now go bully someone
@@gunfiend5175 Why did I know that someone would bring up the 長瀞さん profile picture?
When is new Shrek has swag, m9
The long most brother of Hugh Mungus.
can we talk about the AMAZING editing here
Big Ed’s life is like watching a sitcom and knowing that cringe is going to happen, but you don’t feel like picking up the remote to change the channel.
TLC in a nutshell
English major right here
@@Boojum_Tree that's for you to decide
I literally said “oh gross” out loud when he said “you tasted like a peach last night”. Yeesh 😬
SHEEESH
@@qarful7 sheeeeee
this man cannot be a real human being. he's a cartoon character.
you made my tea get cold
props to the people who dressed ed in a suit and white shirt that *highlights* his (lack of) neck
Man’s lookin like he’s too turtley for the turtle club
Never thought I'd see a human with zero neck.
"It conditions my hair"
You know they got this crazy new product called hair conditioner, guess what it does
Fortnite
Conditions
@@RegularlyBadVideos fortnite
I agree, hair conditioner does fornite
It mayonnaise’s your hair!
Eds looks like someones glizzy when they get in cold water
the sudden shock of the cold also makes your voice sound like Ed's
@@Putper he sounds like someone being when there sick
"I'VE GOT A HAIRCUT"
*puts on hat*
every lesbian - "Im so happy to be in Pyrocynical's Bedroom right now!"
here before the "im lesbian and find this very offensive please apologize"
I'm offensive and I find this very lesbian
@@srslydoatm9251 please apologise.
@@Amphibian42 And support child labour
@@BeanOnTheFlipside "if theyre nine, send them to the mine, if theyre eight, its their faith"
hes like Danny Devito without any of the charm or charisma.
...and you forgot the neck.
I'd say I feel bad for him, but this dude has the same victim logic as every other tub of lard that call's them self a femcel. He's not an incel cuz he could get women with his money and if he wants to instead be loved for his body then he needs to put down the jar of mayo and start working out.
I’ve never been more physically in pain, But totally incapable of removing myself from the thing thats causing that pain before in my entire fucking life.