7 Ways to Make a Conversation With Anyone | Malavika Varadan | TEDxBITSPilaniDubai

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  • čas přidán 10. 01. 2016
  • “We mustn’t speak to strangers.” Malavika Varadan, challenges this societal norm, by presenting 7 ways to make conversation with anyone.
    RJ extraordinaire, Malavika Varadan, creates waves quite literally with her morning show, Breakfast No.1 on City 101.6. An avid fitness enthusiast, positivity ninja and drama queen, she has chiseled a benchmark in the radio industry. At TEDxBITSPilaniDubai she will choose to redefine connections.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Komentáře • 15K

  • @LakshmiDevi-ow5pp
    @LakshmiDevi-ow5pp Před 3 lety +31863

    A hi from an introvert to all introverts:)

  • @farooq5176
    @farooq5176 Před 3 lety +5930

    After watching this I started a conversation with an stranger and he is still taking to me, now I am searching for how to stop the conversation😅😂

    • @varchasva4829
      @varchasva4829 Před 3 lety +124

      Btw nice question. The end is always remembered weather its good or bad. Things happned before doesn't matter if you have f ed up in end. Lol

    • @mdr_vishnu4733
      @mdr_vishnu4733 Před 3 lety +15

      😂

    • @TheEnglishOpedia
      @TheEnglishOpedia Před 3 lety +8

      😆😂😂😂

    • @farooq5176
      @farooq5176 Před 3 lety +6

      @@TheEnglishOpedia funny isn't it...😆😆

    • @TheEnglishOpedia
      @TheEnglishOpedia Před 3 lety +2

      @@farooq5176 yup 🤣😂🤣😂

  • @zakariaesadiki970
    @zakariaesadiki970 Před rokem +803

    1. Just do it
    2. Skip small talk, ask personal questions
    3. There is no room for negativity, instead find the things in common
    4. Give a honest unique compliment
    5. Ask for a simple opinion
    6. Be present, eye-contact
    7. Remember their details (Name/place ...)

    • @ProfOdin
      @ProfOdin Před rokem +11

      Appreciate it !

    • @happy_biird
      @happy_biird Před 9 měsíci +21

      i was gonna watch the whole video again to note the points. You saved my time. Thanks stranger. BTW where are you from, where do you live?

    • @nassermj7671
      @nassermj7671 Před 9 měsíci +3

      Shukria Bhai

    • @Jim-pu7nq
      @Jim-pu7nq Před 9 měsíci +3

      Thanks a lot 👏

    • @Rd-88
      @Rd-88 Před 3 měsíci +4

      ​@@happy_biird he's probably from earth

  • @PHNascimentoFS
    @PHNascimentoFS Před 8 měsíci +255

    “ppl forget what you do, what you say but never forget what you make them feel” that’s a such lesson

    • @DJK-cq2uy
      @DJK-cq2uy Před měsícem

      Wow...never heard hat before😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 🤡

    • @DVelter
      @DVelter Před 29 dny +2

      ​@@DJK-cq2uy Wow.. you're smarter than evrybody else 😮😮🎉🎉

    • @DJK-cq2uy
      @DJK-cq2uy Před 27 dny

      @@DVelter 🤡

  • @CrazyIrishDrunk1
    @CrazyIrishDrunk1 Před 7 lety +8352

    I was a very social child, I was pretty popular at school too because I could easily hold a conversation with anyone and got along with everyone. As I got older I sort of lost that social ability. I'm not anti social, I can talk to people. Indeed I find it easier talking to strangers than some family members! But I'm working on getting my old social skills back and thankfully I succeeded. How? The only way I can explain it is: Learn not to care, learn not to be nervous, learn not to be afraid of silences and just let conversations flow naturally. Humans are social creatures, just let it come naturally. You are what you imagine yourself to be, so imagine yourself as social and talkative.

    • @ahnaftahmid9115
      @ahnaftahmid9115 Před 7 lety +334

      dude u just opened my eyes, the part where you said you are what you imagine to be really hit me

    • @mksingh3116
      @mksingh3116 Před 7 lety +213

      I have the same story,too!!!! But the difference is that I haven't yet suceeded in getting back that social ability, but ur comment made me feel that I'm not alone, I'm pretty sure, I'll get that back, soon... thnx, man!!

    • @CrazyIrishDrunk1
      @CrazyIrishDrunk1 Před 7 lety +90

      Yep, you are what you imagine yourself to be. Your mind is very powerful, use it to your advantage! you can be whoever you want to be!

    • @CrazyIrishDrunk1
      @CrazyIrishDrunk1 Před 7 lety +122

      it will come, don't worry. Its also important not to blame social awkwardness only on yourself, it could be the other person who has the social issue and not you. It takes two to have a conversation. Your certainly not alone, every single person alive has had social awkwardness in their lives, everyone, from celebrities to politicians, everyone!

    • @bethanydusciuc2148
      @bethanydusciuc2148 Před 7 lety +9

      Same!!!

  • @janna1739
    @janna1739 Před 5 lety +5373

    "Make the eye contact"
    Introvert have left the chat

  • @anandprakash4740
    @anandprakash4740 Před rokem +345

    That was so good and motivational when se said "what starts with Hello and ends up with marriage proposal."😂☺

  • @veroscript
    @veroscript Před 7 měsíci +54

    1. Just do it
    2. Skip small talk, ask personal questions
    3. There is no room for negativity, instead find the things in common
    4. Give a honest unique compliment
    5. Ask for a simple opinion
    6. Be present, eye-contact
    7. Remember their details (Name/place etc

    • @oneandonlysd5061
      @oneandonlysd5061 Před 3 měsíci

      how to get someone to like you:

    • @user-qk4ov3ik6e
      @user-qk4ov3ik6e Před 3 měsíci

      ​@@oneandonlysd5061 be real and always have respect for the one you like whenever you have conversations with them

    • @shutdahellup69420
      @shutdahellup69420 Před měsícem

      "remember their details"
      My ADHD: "Allow me to introduce myself".

  • @sakshi9w
    @sakshi9w Před 3 lety +8525

    Her - Eye contact is where all the magic happens.
    Me - eyes contact is where all the awkwardness starts 😂

  • @youknowwho7253
    @youknowwho7253 Před 3 lety +4842

    Is it weird that I'm more comfortable with talking to strangers than the people I know? I just feel their judgment won't affect me at all and therefore I can be myself around them since there is a very low probability of us meeting again.

    • @hiidupiidu3292
      @hiidupiidu3292 Před 3 lety +118

      meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    • @kanushi1365
      @kanushi1365 Před 3 lety +176

      OMG I feel the same exact way. Glad to know that I am not alone.

    • @innersoul9464
      @innersoul9464 Před 3 lety +94

      I just say things that I have never say to my friends to someone I met on Internet

    • @eugeneeugene3704
      @eugeneeugene3704 Před 3 lety +34

      Wow I want to develop this skill😂

    • @wannabyul2109
      @wannabyul2109 Před 3 lety +80

      I can approach strangers and talk to them but I don't know how to approach with acquaintances whom i rarely talk to/didn't have the chance to talk personally, it becomes really awkward

  • @emerald9054
    @emerald9054 Před rokem +231

    What I love about this is that she didn't target an audience with the mindset that they were insufficient in some way to explain their difficulties communicating with strangers. She just focused on teaching how to converse from the perspective of making it better no matter what your background. That demonstrates a high level of emotional intelligence.

  • @livaiwebert9823
    @livaiwebert9823 Před rokem +38

    it's not complicate to talk with stranger it's complicate to talk AGAIN with the same stranger🤣

    • @jayasuryaraj
      @jayasuryaraj Před rokem

      👍

    • @CassandraLangley
      @CassandraLangley Před 2 měsíci +1

      I say the opposite. It's harder to talk to a stranger at first rather than talking to the same stranger again.

  • @tanmaydeshpande5748
    @tanmaydeshpande5748 Před 4 lety +6965

    Her : hey werent we in the same school?
    Me : yeah..
    5 mins of awkward silence
    Me: so what school were you in?

    • @xhosawithinga
      @xhosawithinga Před 4 lety +267

      Hahaha. I'm lauhging out loud and I'm in the Library. Eish.

    • @nikhat.parveen001
      @nikhat.parveen001 Před 4 lety +85

      😂😂omg that really made me laugh

    • @palenyang1950
      @palenyang1950 Před 4 lety +22

      so funny

    • @Vaxom
      @Vaxom Před 4 lety +55

      this comment did sweeten up my day, thank you.. so good

    • @Sujitha30
      @Sujitha30 Před 4 lety +6

      @@xhosawithinga 😂😂😂🤦‍♀🤣🤣🤣

  • @aninditabhunia395
    @aninditabhunia395 Před 2 lety +5836

    I love how she speaks so smooth without any hesitation.Speaking is a SKILL.

    • @69aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
      @69aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Před 2 lety +25

      its a speech but yea shes good

    • @yashbhatiya9923
      @yashbhatiya9923 Před rokem +9

      How to speak fluently English language

    • @avatr7109
      @avatr7109 Před rokem +30

      LOL you don't know RADIO CITY 101?
      she is the radio host
      she obviuosly sppeaks while in sleep too

    • @Sudopia8372
      @Sudopia8372 Před rokem

      bas kar my girl

    • @Sleviron
      @Sleviron Před rokem +2

      speaking is a SKILL DURR

  • @jamiluddinmiju
    @jamiluddinmiju Před 3 měsíci +6

    That line "conversation can make war, conversation can make peace" respect mam❤❤🇧🇩

  • @harshitjhalani765
    @harshitjhalani765 Před 10 měsíci +39

    I watched this video 2 years ago as an introvert to know how to initiate convos and it was very impactful, now here I am in present watching it again as an extrovert, just to understand what an extrovert is doing wrong while talking and I must say this video can be watched from both perspectives. 😊

  • @humudu
    @humudu Před 7 lety +2889

    I took the advice and said HI to someone with a huge smile on my face. She got a shock because i said it so loud, then just looked without responding, so i kept smiling as hard as i could and kept staring at her.
    She said she would call the police

    • @yuki0989
      @yuki0989 Před 7 lety +63

      humudu maybe the way you talked with her scared her , because nowadays many terrible things happen and most women don't feel safe

    • @kkkkkkkkkk955
      @kkkkkkkkkk955 Před 7 lety +146

      wait... maybe because you didn't smile with the forehead?

    • @Noone402
      @Noone402 Před 7 lety +36

      now i'm laughing and sad too

    • @alinan538
      @alinan538 Před 7 lety +4

      kkkkkkkkkk955

    • @WandersNotLost
      @WandersNotLost Před 7 lety +4

      😂

  • @chaliejoy224
    @chaliejoy224 Před 7 lety +3641

    Plot twist she walks off stage and never talks to anyone that whole day

  • @arshitsharma3193
    @arshitsharma3193 Před 7 měsíci +13

    This video >>>>>>>>>>> my whole one month learning of soft skills classes

  • @abhishekjoshi800
    @abhishekjoshi800 Před 4 měsíci +149

    Who's watching this in 2024

  • @psycho8545
    @psycho8545 Před 7 lety +10942

    I''ll save you 15 minutes.
    This is what contained in this video:
    1.Say hello,
    2.Ask personal questions,
    3.Find commonalities,,
    4.Give unique compliments,
    5.ask for simple opinions,
    6.Pay attention(Be in the moment),
    7.Remember names.

    • @MrJ17J
      @MrJ17J Před 7 lety +251

      Yup that's an accurate summary.

    • @-Floydimus
      @-Floydimus Před 7 lety +342

      psycho Hahah she bored me a lot. This comment saved my 15 minutes. Thank you so much.

    • @anupamsharmaganesh9344
      @anupamsharmaganesh9344 Před 7 lety +13

      +Kashish Shah ... lolzz that was spot on. ..(y)

    • @b3at2
      @b3at2 Před 7 lety +57

      psycho thank you... because she was going on and on and on and oooooon.

    • @rahulr5147
      @rahulr5147 Před 7 lety +189

      Wish I had seen this 14 minutes earlier :/

  • @Soulful_songbird
    @Soulful_songbird Před 11 měsíci +38

    Things I learnt from this:-
    1. Just ask questions what you want. What's the worst thing can happen?
    2. Skip small talk and ask personal questions (you will be surprised how much people are willing to share if you ask them)
    3. Find the "me too"s
    4. Give a compliment (mostly on what thinks they give efforts in for example makeup)
    5. Listen to their answers and add your opinion or thoughts about it.
    6. Make eye contact (see one eye at a time and move the the other afterwards)
    7. After they say their name say their name (for example - hi paul!)

    • @codeinout9438
      @codeinout9438 Před 11 měsíci

      What is Mee too's

    • @Soulful_songbird
      @Soulful_songbird Před 11 měsíci +1

      @@codeinout9438 That means when someone says something try to relate to it. For example your friend said I hate coffee and you too actually hate it so you say me too! This can help you be likable too as well as it can start another conversation too like your likes, dislikes, etc

  • @nguynnguynee
    @nguynnguynee Před rokem +42

    Within 15 minutes she solved all the problems I was having in communication, which I spent time watching many youtube videos to be able to improve but couldn't until after watching this video I realized out many things. Thanks you so much!!!

  • @akashkvijay
    @akashkvijay Před 7 lety +874

    She seems sincerely passionate about being there on the stage. She's not there just for the money. she wants to genuinely inspire people and share her ideas to others. That is beautiful. I really respect that. I'am now offically a fan of her.

  • @adititakale5790
    @adititakale5790 Před 4 lety +593

    I've heard somewhere, "A stranger is a friend you haven't met yet."

  • @abdulazizmuradi9390
    @abdulazizmuradi9390 Před rokem +24

    it's my 6th YEAR watching this multiple times every year, and I AM in love with how she explains it with so much enthusiasm

    • @beyourself7085
      @beyourself7085 Před rokem

      what to do when someone have stammer prob... I want to get out of it.... I want to be a artist, public speaker, RJ type.
      I've all qualities to do everything... but stammer will ruin my life n carrer...

    • @princess.s.6018
      @princess.s.6018 Před 11 měsíci

      ​​​@@beyourself7085simple! Just be confident and BE YOURSELF

  • @AmanSharma-sn8js
    @AmanSharma-sn8js Před 4 měsíci +4

    I love how when she smiles - it is preceded with her eyes starting to sparkle then followed with a HUGE warm smile.

  • @aliunal1732
    @aliunal1732 Před 3 lety +3723

    Her: Ask personal questions!
    Me: So... what is your bank card number?

  • @ursassybhi
    @ursassybhi Před rokem +2121

    "A conversation is like reading a book, you can turn to any page you want. You can flip to you favorite chapter, you can read as long as you want and you can read what you want. And every person trust me is a really good book." Wow

  • @cagla3360
    @cagla3360 Před 2 měsíci +3

    fun fact: I was in the audience of this ted talk. when she told us to stick our head and tell the person next to us "hi!",there was a man sitting right next to me. we had an awkward laugh and said our hellos and learned each other's names.
    after 3 years of dating, we are now married for 4 years :) so yeah, go ahead and meet strangers.

  • @SumitMirpuri
    @SumitMirpuri Před 5 lety +3645

    You live on earth too?! We have so much in common.

  • @swinxfee
    @swinxfee Před 7 lety +2525

    You know you're confident when no one laughs at your joke so you do it yourself 😂

  • @saeedcrt9444
    @saeedcrt9444 Před 5 měsíci +7

    Conversation can make war ,conversation can make peace “
    This line are just wow amazing

    • @DJK-cq2uy
      @DJK-cq2uy Před měsícem

      Wow...never heard that before 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🎉😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂at 😂😂😂😂

  • @hetvipatel2345
    @hetvipatel2345 Před měsícem +2

    I really liked this ted talk. Her speech , her body language , the way she was smiling , the way she was doing hand gestures and her simplicity in explaining the whole topic and little humor in between.
    One of the best Ted talks. ❤

  • @moa3810
    @moa3810 Před 2 lety +912

    "Every single person in your life was once a stranger to you" - Including your parents and siblings!

    • @shikang6525
      @shikang6525 Před 2 lety

      确实

    • @loturzelrestaurant
      @loturzelrestaurant Před 2 lety +2

      @@shikang6525 Do you know Hbomberguy,
      i wonder?

    • @belindajardim3145
      @belindajardim3145 Před 2 lety +12

      My parents r now deceased and my 3 siblings r now my enemies

    • @simon_777
      @simon_777 Před 2 lety

      @@belindajardim3145 first of all I seriously hope you're not serious, also I have to ask are you Portuguese? Cause your name looks very Portuguese to me.

    • @suchipamarthi2940
      @suchipamarthi2940 Před 2 lety

      Exactly

  • @joshschilling6457
    @joshschilling6457 Před 3 lety +3390

    1. First word is a flood gate (3:33)
    2. Skip the small talk (5:20)
    3. Find the Me-Too (7:33)
    4. Pay a unique compliment (8:45)
    5. Ask for an opinion (10:19)
    6. Be Present (11:41)
    7. Names, Places, Animals, Things (12:40)
    Some Important points: just start the conversation, dive right in, pay attention, make them feel valued, and find commonality and discussion topics by asking about opinions and me-too's.

  • @suruchis.5351
    @suruchis.5351 Před rokem +22

    Undoubtedly, conversation is a skill through which we can achieve a lot of things and also sometimes it causes an adverse situation. How beautifully she told us about the impacts of conversation.

  • @muteebakhawar3500
    @muteebakhawar3500 Před 11 měsíci +6

    The way she speaks... Just OMG 😱 so, smooth and energetic 🎉. She completely an enchanter ❤😂.

  • @theresamorley14
    @theresamorley14 Před 3 lety +4823

    Her enthusiasm about every stranger just being a wealth of knowledge and new experience has lessened my social anxiety a lot. Thank you.

    • @-blackcherry3918
      @-blackcherry3918 Před 2 lety +10

      True

    • @preetpatel2186
      @preetpatel2186 Před 2 lety

      u are shutup

    • @MAX-de8fe
      @MAX-de8fe Před 2 lety +2

      @@preetpatel2186 woah

    • @connorfrankston5548
      @connorfrankston5548 Před 2 lety +12

      Well, that is in fact true, when you happen to be a highly attractive woman.

    • @carbonxkiwi
      @carbonxkiwi Před 2 lety +6

      @@connorfrankston5548 that's what i was thinking: how these techniques would go for other demographics...

  • @ReelFusionbySupun
    @ReelFusionbySupun Před 3 lety +1836

    1. The first-word flood gates
    2. Skip the small talk
    3. Find me toos
    4. Pay a unique compliment
    5. Ask for an opinion
    6. Be present
    7. Name, Place, Animal, Thing

  • @kiwe2348
    @kiwe2348 Před 5 měsíci +5

    Wonderful tips, thanks a ton.
    And I will definitely use them, it is much appreciated from an introvert person like me.
    Thanks!!
    1. The first word flood gates
    2. Skip the small talk
    3. Find the me too
    4. Pay an unique compliment
    5. Ask for an opinion
    6. Be present
    7. Name, place animal thing

  • @onemillionpercent
    @onemillionpercent Před rokem +15

    she’s absolutely captivating. what a phenomenal TED talk given by a clearly beautiful and kind woman, oozing with charisma from her accent to her hefty and valuable material. genius!

  • @elfyelfy5264
    @elfyelfy5264 Před 3 lety +4702

    Me trying to make a conversation :
    Me: hi
    Her:hi
    Me: how are you
    Her: good and u
    Me: good
    .30 second silence..
    -how are you now
    Edit: the fact that I’ve certainly communicated with 1,100 people because I cannot communicate with people🤝

  • @AldosWorldTV
    @AldosWorldTV Před 3 lety +3015

    Damn tough crowd no one laughed when she said world wide web lololololz

    • @esotericbliss5887
      @esotericbliss5887 Před 3 lety +82

      I know right! I was cracking up!

    • @drewjames1770
      @drewjames1770 Před 3 lety +100

      I instantly went to comments when she said it 😂

    • @4pedos
      @4pedos Před 3 lety +83

      that is because they don´t know what the world wide web is

    • @harishp.n5887
      @harishp.n5887 Před 3 lety +125

      plot twist their aint no crowd

    • @aryashetty3924
      @aryashetty3924 Před 3 lety +56

      Probably crowd mic is not there

  • @H-productions
    @H-productions Před rokem +2

    It's been 18yrs since I am here on earth ......through all these years what I have learnt is that quality matters more than quantity ......a one true friend is greater than a trillion frnds for name sake .......so focus on being truthful to your existing ones rather than making new ones

  • @andynonymous6769
    @andynonymous6769 Před rokem +3

    Humans are naturally social: we've spent thousands and thousands of years becoming good at making connections. If you, like me, are nervous to talk to someone, and you're nervous that you're not going to do it "right" remember, we evolved just for this! It's in our bones. Overthinking and being tense is what makes it so hard, under that, it's instinctual

  • @Charloteblahblah
    @Charloteblahblah Před 7 lety +1776

    Everyone in the comments needs to stop being so harsh and kinda racist, I'm from rural England and I can understand what she is saying. She clearly speaks English fluently and is speaking very clearly, she just has a lovely Indian accent to top it off. So shhh. Loved this TED talk.. ❤

    • @Luna_Anonymous
      @Luna_Anonymous Před 7 lety +45

      Thats no indian accent you should listen what they actually sound like, this is a normal and 100 times better accent plus nobody that i have seen is being racist infact everyone is saying she is soo hot, she is sexy, she looks cute etc etc.

    • @kamalkumarmukiri4267
      @kamalkumarmukiri4267 Před 7 lety +1

      you are right...

    • @Gutenberg3
      @Gutenberg3 Před 7 lety +18

      Lovely is the least. I fell in love with her voice and accent.

    • @sunflowrsunshine
      @sunflowrsunshine Před 7 lety +1

      truth

    • @parthsanil7477
      @parthsanil7477 Před 7 lety +36

      +Anonymous User Lol you sound ignorant ! I am indian and that is an indian accent

  • @mikevieira6041
    @mikevieira6041 Před 3 lety +878

    She is proof of what she preaches. When she first comes on stage, I thought her pretty but her bubbly personality came out, and the longer she spoke the more attractive she becomes. Not surprised at the taxi driver"s proposal.

    • @AA-ob4yg
      @AA-ob4yg Před 2 lety +19

      Man you are just nailed it. Had the same note.

    • @iamo
      @iamo Před 2 lety +7

      was going to write the exact same comment

    • @prokitchendotng4646
      @prokitchendotng4646 Před 2 lety +6

      my point exactly

    • @JoostEurovisionFans
      @JoostEurovisionFans Před 2 lety +15

      Bubbly personality? I would love to see how she respond to someone who she runs into who is really boring and always complains and tells the same story over and over again. I would love to know how she would handle that business. The more attractive and wealthy you become, the harder it gets to have a deep conversation with everybody.

    • @belindajardim3145
      @belindajardim3145 Před 2 lety +4

      Absolutely right, th more she engages with u th more u like her 🥰

  • @user-fv1pf4wt8u
    @user-fv1pf4wt8u Před 3 měsíci +1

    what I learned from her, "don't listen to reply, listen to listen". Thank you Mam!

  • @b-6870
    @b-6870 Před rokem +18

    9:31 I came to this video after watching a shorts consisting of this part.
    And must say, YOU REALLY DID A GREAT JOB BRINGING THIS UP cuz believe me, today, almost everyone gives compliments without even meaning them.
    We must start to admire people for their real beauties (not just the external beauty but the real beauties too) with complete honesty.
    Thanks for bringing this up. Really appreciated.

    • @ILoveSoImAlive
      @ILoveSoImAlive Před 10 měsíci

      to be able to admire something you have to be able to see it first. to be able to see it, you have to know it. to know it, you have to invest time in it. to invest time in it, you have to know its value for your surroundings. if your surroundings value other things, you will not know it, you will not see it, you will not be able to admire it. thats what the culture is for. thats what goes lost today, especially in western society, where only competition is (over)valued. but this overvalue of competition from surroundings is indoctrination, for that people do not work together because that would make them solve their problems in small circle, and they wouldnt need to buy solutions from someone less known to them. that would be bad for busines. so overrating of competition is actually overrating of money and money system. we are ready to suffer just to stick to this system, where the money system should not be ideologically thing for the sake of itself, but should service people more than it burdens them. competition is a good thing, but like everything else, its best if it has own place and time and doesnt occupy place and time of things, which would fit there better.
      it is really unlikely, that this problem will be solved anytime soon. so we will have to live with the problem, that there is not so much of real admiration seen, felt, lived. and for that time most people will admire more things, you dont want them to admire, like how you can allow yourself to talk from above to a lot of people, because of your position, or admire your money, you got from other people in this sometimes sensless competition.

  • @jeremytan1051
    @jeremytan1051 Před 8 lety +2764

    I recommend watching through the whole thing, but.
    1. First word floodgates (3:33)
    "Once you've said the first word, everything just flows."
    2. Skip the small talk. (5:20)
    Ask personal questions. Be bold, and you might be surprised how much someone might share.
    Asking about family might help elicit response.
    The lady gives a neat tip, and a neat story at (6:27)
    3. Me - too's (7:34)
    Don't start with negatives. Start the conversation on the same side.
    4. Pay a unique compliment. (8:45)
    Someone may forget what you say or how you look, but they would never forget how you made them feel.
    There are words and compliments that people are immune to.
    Avoid them and pay a genuine, unique compliment.
    5. Ask for an opinion. (10:19)
    Ask generic questions like "what's your last movie and how did you find it?" instead of "what do you think about how this affects the oil prices?"
    That is the difference between generic conversations and exam questions.
    And when someone gives you an opinion, really listen; listen to listen, don't listen to reply.
    6. Be present. (11:40)
    Don't look at your phone etc.
    Make eye contact. You literally feel the conversation.
    7. Name, place, animal, thing (12:42)
    Remember their name. It's really important. Say it back to them. Places they want to go to. Their pets names, their children's names.

    • @Mein_KampfyChair
      @Mein_KampfyChair Před 8 lety +40

      Thank you for this-- I needed a summary

    • @SamuelDarmento
      @SamuelDarmento Před 8 lety +5

      Thank you for the summary!

    • @VitaLaDolcee
      @VitaLaDolcee Před 7 lety +9

      Thanks for the summary! Now I don't really have to watch the video haha

    • @ericfeng4725
      @ericfeng4725 Před 7 lety

      i think this very important

    • @Kiritappa
      @Kiritappa Před 7 lety +22

      You're the hero that CZcams needs.

  • @conradmashazhike6670
    @conradmashazhike6670 Před 3 lety +713

    her public speaking abilities are amazing. its as if she is talking to you individually in a conversation

  • @AnilAnvesh
    @AnilAnvesh Před rokem +11

    After watching this talk, I have looked at myself and discovered something about myself. I am good at making conversations with strangers. But, when it comes to seeking help or asking for an opportunity, I act like mute. All of sudden, my super introverted nature kicks in. I start thinking, how they will react! I guess, now I know how to overcome that. Thanks Malavika ❤

  • @watermelondoggo861
    @watermelondoggo861 Před rokem +4

    I tried making a new friend yesterday, and everything was good, except I SUCKED at talking with them. Half of the time we just stood awkwardly and most of our conversations were a trainwreck. Thanks for this video!

  • @one9853
    @one9853 Před rokem +1014

    “Conversation can make war ,conversation can make peace “
    This line ♥️♥️

    • @PoisonelleMisty4311
      @PoisonelleMisty4311 Před 5 měsíci

      Her tips on finding common ground and giving real compliments totally make sense. It's a cool reminder to be positive and curious in every convo.

    • @danish_thelearner
      @danish_thelearner Před 3 měsíci

      So,the conclusion is we should quite 😜

  • @fuckception
    @fuckception Před 7 lety +1957

    I can't even have a decent conversation with myself!

    • @satyamsharma14
      @satyamsharma14 Před 7 lety +9

      HAHAHA!! I feel you, man.

    • @tobegan3753
      @tobegan3753 Před 7 lety +8

      It's hard, maybe ask better questions or try mediation to quieten your mind

    • @xskywakerx
      @xskywakerx Před 7 lety +3

      hahahaha, funny

    • @fatmahassan800
      @fatmahassan800 Před 7 lety +19

      all of us can have a conversation with ourselves. but when ourselves start the conversation we escape by doing any thing or talking with people , because we did`t have enough bravery to face ourselves!

    • @imNashh
      @imNashh Před 7 lety

      +liffeyb im liking that .

  • @surajagrawal7980
    @surajagrawal7980 Před 10 měsíci +7

    Seven ways :
    1. First Flood Gate - Start with smile and 'Hello'
    2. Skip Small talk - Try to talk about personal things
    3.Find me-toos - Common thing
    4. A compliment - People always remember how you make them feel
    5. Ask for Opinion or Suggestions
    6. Attention - Be present in conversation
    7. Name, place, animal - Remember Name their place
    With these ways you can have a beautiful conversation with people sitting beside you, behind you or walking along with you❤

  • @GyanshalaEntertainmentChannel
    @GyanshalaEntertainmentChannel Před 5 měsíci +1

    We should appreciate her the way she delivered such a motivational speech so eloquently and flawlessly with great sense of humour..

  • @koushikmaji7998
    @koushikmaji7998 Před 4 lety +1456

    "Every person in your life was once a stranger"
    Family has left the chat

    • @gavtipor7394
      @gavtipor7394 Před 4 lety +59

      When u were born,even dey wer a stranger 🤔😂

    • @j.ou.d.f
      @j.ou.d.f Před 3 lety +49

      @@gavtipor7394 nah not your mother cause you stayed in her womb for nearly a year so it would be pretty weird to call her a stranger

    • @Noahnoahan
      @Noahnoahan Před 3 lety +4

      Except for family ofcourse duhhhh!!!!!

    • @AshutoshPandey-eq9xq
      @AshutoshPandey-eq9xq Před 3 lety +18

      Maybe you're adopted 🙂😂

    • @mahotsavkumar1278
      @mahotsavkumar1278 Před 3 lety +2

      @@AshutoshPandey-eq9xq 😂😂😂

  • @gopukrishna521
    @gopukrishna521 Před 3 lety +1352

    It's surprising how nobody is saying anything about how cute she speaks

    • @luckyluke4276
      @luckyluke4276 Před 3 lety +65

      And looks

    • @OffGridInvestor
      @OffGridInvestor Před 3 lety +76

      She's indian barbie. But honestly at least the first few minutes I think she's talking to an empty room.

    • @lanel6745
      @lanel6745 Před 3 lety +61

      Exactly! She was enthusiastic and energetic and actually that looks so cute!! Idk why so many people got bored from that

    • @biggaming9075
      @biggaming9075 Před 3 lety +1

      cheryl sparkz you lucked up shoot your shot 🏀

    • @SubrataSarkar-us1cq
      @SubrataSarkar-us1cq Před 3 lety

      Exactly

  • @azivert_1979
    @azivert_1979 Před rokem +1

    I have literally just started to gain that confidence back after lockdown and this video just got recommended to me. Blessed

  • @grizzyc9796
    @grizzyc9796 Před rokem +3

    this is so helpful. Being an introvert, I usually find it very difficult to talk to people. These pointers are a great roadmap to talking to people. Thanks so much

  • @the-terminator5682
    @the-terminator5682 Před 7 lety +344

    The last time I started a conversation I said, "where the Pokemon at tho?"

  • @damarh
    @damarh Před 7 lety +7453

    how do i proceed after she says "i have a boyfriend" ?

    • @elbarto8282
      @elbarto8282 Před 7 lety +793

      damarh walk to the next one

    • @romanpirs8127
      @romanpirs8127 Před 7 lety +177

      thats really awful, but i think thats a good reason forma not to go ahead with that person, i think that means she lets her boyfrien to control her or that she is egocentric

    • @suneelx63
      @suneelx63 Před 7 lety +476

      damarha6 may be with "you need a better one"

    • @chillthcho7432
      @chillthcho7432 Před 7 lety +347

      Say its ok i am not the jealous type

    • @Hi.Im.Vastur
      @Hi.Im.Vastur Před 7 lety +3

      +L CC lol

  • @zaidzaeem5398
    @zaidzaeem5398 Před 7 měsíci

    I chose to become a beautiful book for someone i was not reachable for...
    This is how I started. And I'm more than happy too... it's really magical.

  • @quirtt
    @quirtt Před rokem +42

    The best Ted talk I have ever seen

  • @Enigmaticharm
    @Enigmaticharm Před 3 lety +2364

    Me trying to become a better person after quarantine:
    Edit : ive become a bit better! My skin also cleared so I kinda had a mini glow up

  • @Honeyydo
    @Honeyydo Před 7 lety +855

    "A conversation is an adventure." More like an anxiety-riddled obstacle course.. hence why I am here lol.

    • @matrixdukenukem000
      @matrixdukenukem000 Před 7 lety +50

      My thoughts exactly. Talking to strangers is more like a sweaty, panic rising and possible bad outcome for an introvert specially.

    • @Jamesucht
      @Jamesucht Před 7 lety +24

      Small talk is like kryptonite. #IntrovertProblems

    • @MrMark940
      @MrMark940 Před 7 lety +10

      can I have a convemesation with you?

    • @WantedMayhem
      @WantedMayhem Před 7 lety +2

      Sounds very spot on 😂😂🤣

    • @zackbrown5201
      @zackbrown5201 Před 7 lety +7

      what is she files a rape case for just started talking to her

  • @mayankrajsolanki5026
    @mayankrajsolanki5026 Před rokem +2

    Came form an ig reel...she is totally amazing the way she tells her experience the way she understands the genuine problems of the person. Through this video I learned many things...like how u can put efforts during a conversation where u are lacking of words... mastering conversation is a great skill

    • @TheMajor8
      @TheMajor8 Před 11 měsíci

      Came from the same reel ✌️

  • @wellbodisalone
    @wellbodisalone Před rokem +3

    She speaks so eloquently. You can definitely learn a lot from her.

  • @britlmao
    @britlmao Před 2 lety +224

    "and every day we meet so many strangers"
    I'm in my room all-day

    • @gurupriya8726
      @gurupriya8726 Před 2 lety +7

      Hey! You could meet a stranger online.. Just like now 🙂

    • @dt_99
      @dt_99 Před 2 lety

      @@gurupriya8726 yes. Internet has made it a cakewalk nowadays. Hi Guru Priya!

    • @gurupriya8726
      @gurupriya8726 Před 2 lety +1

      @@dt_99 Hello friend!! How are you doing?

    • @dt_99
      @dt_99 Před 2 lety

      @@gurupriya8726 I am doing good. How are you?

    • @gurupriya8726
      @gurupriya8726 Před 2 lety +1

      @@dt_99 just not as good as i would wish for lol. By the way, idk if this would be too much information, but here you go..i have a similar surname as yours, Gurupriya Takkar is my full name. Haha we got a me too topic here( not exactly me too).

  • @OfficialBasedologyYT
    @OfficialBasedologyYT Před 5 lety +191

    1. Say hi
    2. Ask personal questions
    3. Find me too’s
    4. Pay a genuine compliment
    5. Get an opinion
    6. Be present
    7. Name place animal thing

  • @sonsanddaughtersofgod1693

    I love how she moves with a specific pattern according to her audio strength and all her hand gesture , all in all beautiful

  • @roshansvideos
    @roshansvideos Před 7 měsíci +3

    Malavika Varadan! We have heard this a thousand times, but your talk was a breath of fresh air!

  • @ValentineTM07
    @ValentineTM07 Před 2 lety +1516

    Her enthousiasm is contagious: she has made me smile during all the video

  • @MXOtaku
    @MXOtaku Před 7 lety +201

    I'm not too enthusiastic about talking to people, but it's a necessity.

    • @HelloKittyFreak96
      @HelloKittyFreak96 Před 7 lety +27

      Carlos Jimenez exactly how I feel

    • @DJ-qs3pl
      @DJ-qs3pl Před 7 lety +11

      Carlos Jimenez everyone here doesn't want to talk to people but they feel it is needed

    • @TAJMath04
      @TAJMath04 Před 7 lety

      Dan Jackson

  • @fabiograppasonno1495
    @fabiograppasonno1495 Před rokem +14

    This is one of the most beautiful TedTalks I ever heard until this moment! I love conversations and I'd love to improve my way of doing them. Moreover, I think a radio presenter is one of the most prepared people on this matter, because entertain people only with voice is very difficult and the presenter needs great talent and training before start working in a radio company. I'll listen again this video and I'll try to put in practice this important tips... conversation is the base of our life!

  • @mirranjannegi4467
    @mirranjannegi4467 Před 11 měsíci +5

    Absolutely brilliant thought provoking oration by Malavika. I was visualizing and wondering in context to so many celebrities, Industrialists and people of little fame who never open their mouth in front of strangers. Great insight

  • @secxybear6629
    @secxybear6629 Před 7 lety +162

    My problem with conversations is that I just don't care about other people. I don't ask personal questions because I generally don't care what the answer is. It feels dishonest to put it on.

    • @cheesecakelasagna
      @cheesecakelasagna Před 7 lety +6

      SecxyBear I know right! Doing small talks to avoid awkward silences just isn't for me.

    • @emiliosgregoriou8943
      @emiliosgregoriou8943 Před 7 lety +17

      if you don't care about other people why talk to them in the first place? In fact, why are you even watching the video

    • @secxybear6629
      @secxybear6629 Před 7 lety +24

      I like talking to others and I care about people. I just don't give a shit about small talk or irrelevant personal things.

    • @shabaotb
      @shabaotb Před 7 lety +8

      i feel bad for your future partner

    • @MrMark940
      @MrMark940 Před 7 lety +3

      introvert ha

  • @abigailoguntuyi4387
    @abigailoguntuyi4387 Před 3 lety +324

    I really like how she presented her speech and her energy was so contagious. She's also pretty

    • @alive14ever
      @alive14ever Před 3 lety +3

      She's a cool 7

    • @dbasrus
      @dbasrus Před 3 lety +15

      @@alive14ever you're a socially-illiterate 2

    • @mathewcherian7832
      @mathewcherian7832 Před 3 lety +5

      I really wish she was my friend. Whatever she taught makes you so loveble as she is

    • @nimrashahid2569
      @nimrashahid2569 Před 3 lety +6

      body and face expressions and attitude really enlightens a person

  • @rishisaraogi4350
    @rishisaraogi4350 Před 4 měsíci +1

    there s nothing in this video that i didn't know about but to listen from someone else really put things into perspective and that someone who is from communication bizz . So i really confident and motivated to act on this .

  • @VictorKirungi-vj7ee
    @VictorKirungi-vj7ee Před 4 měsíci +1

    I love the fact that you said that one loses nothing to start a conversation since they haven't been talking to you

  • @harrydaplatypus361
    @harrydaplatypus361 Před 3 lety +601

    How to establish connections with people through conversation (not necessarily just with strangers):
    1. Dare to begin, dare to say the first words
    2. Skip small talks, focus on what's really interesting
    3. Draw on the common ground
    4. Make genuine unique compliments
    5. Get people to share what they think about something, listen to listen
    6. Don't multitask, be there, be in the conversation
    7. Remember what you two talked about
    **1st big takeaway: "people can forget what you say, what you do, but they will never forget how you make them feel"
    **2nd big takeaway: look at them in the eye
    **3rd big takeaway: every person is a really good book, you just have to figure out which to read next instead of only skimming the titles

  • @gimmaefive
    @gimmaefive Před 7 lety +112

    1. Hi
    2. Ask personal question
    3. Me-toos
    4. Compliment
    5. Ask for opinion
    6. Full heartedly present
    7. Remember their details

    • @SnakeWasRight
      @SnakeWasRight Před 7 lety +6

      The awkward part is step 2, where she is suggesting you just ask people random questions. Do you like lizards!?!??! What's your favorite color??? Dogs or cats? What's your deepest life goal??! That just seems so childish to me. And awkward that they are just fishing for some kind of connection, it's borderline obsessive. Especially if this conversation is happening at the water cooler or printer. There are special situations where interviewing someone is not awkward, but not every day.

    • @Consolous
      @Consolous Před 7 lety +8

      You care too much about "awkward". Every new conversation with a stranger is awkward, embrace it.

    • @BeAPickle
      @BeAPickle Před 7 lety +1

      me irl half an hour later - What is your name? I forgot....

    • @safdarkhan8414
      @safdarkhan8414 Před 7 lety

      iwdyv

  • @user-jz4nu2jc8x
    @user-jz4nu2jc8x Před rokem +5

    GAWD THIS WHY I LOVE TED TALKS

  • @Kashmirincanada_
    @Kashmirincanada_ Před rokem

    This is something I have been struggling with since childhood, making conversation.
    Thank you for all the motivation, tips and tricks.

  • @poojithareddy6197
    @poojithareddy6197 Před 4 lety +960

    Definitely one day I will share my SUCCESS story on this stage ....
    Thank you ❣️ soo much for all your support and blessings 🙏....

  • @andreinasound
    @andreinasound Před 8 lety +206

    This woman is just beautiful. Her inner beauty is reflected in her face and smile.
    I Loved every single tip! Thank you Malavika Varadan for open our eyes.

    • @geethakrishnag8325
      @geethakrishnag8325 Před 8 lety

      ohh :o

    • @Jagdeepsingh-ew8pk
      @Jagdeepsingh-ew8pk Před 8 lety +1

      welcome to india

    • @Faiselmoha
      @Faiselmoha Před 7 lety

      I agree, but u are more beautiful, i guess :)

    • @Jagdeepsingh-ew8pk
      @Jagdeepsingh-ew8pk Před 7 lety

      Zulqarnain sorry? How could you say that or predict that?😉

    • @VengeanceBG
      @VengeanceBG Před 7 lety +2

      You are not fascinated from her inner beauty - she did her hair, she doesn't have the indian nose, you probably liked her partial awkwardnes and so on.. What I'm trying to say is that if you are not aware of how judgemental you are naturaly, then you need to investigate the subject.

  • @lailaalfaddil7389
    @lailaalfaddil7389 Před 11 měsíci +201

  • @PeacePham1991
    @PeacePham1991 Před rokem +2

    1. Greet people - hi, hello, morning
    2. Ask open ended questions
    3. Mee too, make people feel that u both have some similarities
    4.Compliment (genuine)
    5. Be present
    7.Make people feel special by addressing their name, place

  • @laflamezz1907
    @laflamezz1907 Před 7 lety +193

    those "me-too's" are my life savers in conversations :D

  • @cappyvlogs
    @cappyvlogs Před 4 lety +247

    *The Problem Is That The Stranger Is Not Watching This Video!!*

  • @awes0men0b0dy9
    @awes0men0b0dy9 Před měsícem

    As a pretty lonely person who’s wanted to befriend people but can’t get the courage to walk up someone and start a conversation I’ll use the tips and just hearing the examples makes me feel slightly more confident.

  • @zerosum1290
    @zerosum1290 Před 19 dny

    it feels like another beautiful, confident, extrovert telling people 'just be confident'.

  • @btul2569
    @btul2569 Před 7 lety +1931

    she's amazing
    i'd let her marry my son but i dont have one and im not even married

    • @mrsenpaihd7485
      @mrsenpaihd7485 Před 7 lety +105

      Batool wh- what? wait.. what?? my brain cant process this.

    • @ampersanda.h
      @ampersanda.h Před 7 lety +7

      Permission denied :D

    • @firdacz
      @firdacz Před 7 lety +38

      I would marry her myself! ...if I wasn't married already :D Such a charming person.

    • @b3at2
      @b3at2 Před 7 lety +1

      Batool lmaooooooo

    • @MustafaAl-Gaberey
      @MustafaAl-Gaberey Před 7 lety +3

      wut?..

  • @mundanemonday46
    @mundanemonday46 Před 6 lety +762

    I am watching this because I am so bad at conversations that I act cold so people won’t want to talk to me. I do that to avoid awkwardness. I hate awkwardness. It makes me feel intimidated! Ughhh.

    • @randommess6667
      @randommess6667 Před 5 lety +2

      exactly the same as me

    • @aly8950
      @aly8950 Před 5 lety

      Same..

    • @brandonblacc_
      @brandonblacc_ Před 5 lety

      Me too! Damn it

    • @zombsz01
      @zombsz01 Před 5 lety +32

      Can’t even hold conversations since I feel like I can’t add or contribute to them. Just makes me tense :(

    • @Paytonxoxoxo
      @Paytonxoxoxo Před 5 lety +3

      We have a lot in common

  • @theresasinger9039
    @theresasinger9039 Před rokem +2

    This past summer I had amazing conversations on mountain trails. Conspiracy theories seemed to be the common theme. Fascinating!

  • @ronik2003
    @ronik2003 Před rokem +1

    I also loved her talk that every person is a book it is up to you how long you want to read it

  • @Ampwich
    @Ampwich Před 5 lety +678

    Me: I like how when you smile, your nose smiles and your whole being smiles
    Her: I have to go.....

  • @ghayoorkhan7580
    @ghayoorkhan7580 Před 4 lety +185

    “don’t multitask” while reading comments.. lol my bad