How to practice emotional first aid | Guy Winch | TED
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- čas přidán 15. 02. 2015
- We'll go to the doctor when we feel flu-ish or a nagging pain. So why don’t we see a health professional when we feel emotional pain: guilt, loss, loneliness? Too many of us deal with common psychological-health issues on our own, says Guy Winch. But we don’t have to. He makes a compelling case to practice emotional hygiene - taking care of our emotions, our minds, with the same diligence we take care of our bodies.
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-Take action when feeling lonely
-Change response to failures
-Protect your self esteem
-Battle negative thinking
Catherine Murphy 🙄
@Catherine Murphy This is exactly the kind of pessimistic mindset Guy was addressing
@Catherine Murphy
When I apply this theory the results are out there. The catch is being persistent about it until it become natural. Which is really hard but can't say impossible as I clearly saw the results !
@Suffer No Fools
All of us could go through this you are no exception my friend, just don't give up and take responsibility of working on your spiritual and mental abilities.
Your brain and soul are like a living room it will turn into a mess if you don't clean it frequently.
No one will clean your mess you need to do it yourself
@Suffer No Fools
Then you need to talk to him and ask for empowerment, patience, clarity, and guidance.
"Allah" or God is the source of all the good in this world, some times he answers ur prays by changing your situation to a better one , or he may decide to keep you in it because he wants to get the good part of u out (hard times get strong men)
It might be easy for me to say as you r the one who actually struggles but you don't have many options really:
Either to surrender to the hardship thus declining further down OR decide to get stronger and use all your energy including mental and spiritual to improve the situation. Read about other people who had even tougher circumstances than you.
Someone was told he will die after 6 months because of cancer so he could have chosen to consume the time crying and weeping about his bad luck but instead he used what left of his power putting a positive impact on his and others life.
You need to take the decision to be happy "as much as u could" do stuff you like. Stay away from abusers no one could steal your laugh or small life pleasures from you.
Get bigger , get stronger, get perspective ask others for advice or wisdom.
"It makes us really afraid to reach out because why setup yourself for heartache and rejection when your heart is already aching more than you can stand"
this really cuts me deep..
Yeah that was the quote that really struck me too.
Yeah taht was basically my whole thought process 3 years ago. It was so bad taht I never held a single conversation longer than a minute for nearly an entire year.
My own belief.. I always feel rejected as a middle child.. that is why I only reach out when I'm only at my lowest point.
This one hit home hard!
:',-(
This video is a perfect example of the good the internet can do. Imagine how many lives this man has touched with his words. How many lives he has saved. All thanks to the world wide web.
At least 14, I think.
@@jonhohensee3258 it has over 3+ million views
@@woosh_police4018 - Yeah, but only about 14 or 15 lives saved.
@@jonhohensee3258 I don't think it's all about a number. Not only this video can safe someone's life but it could change non-suicidal person's perspective. As he said, many people don't know how to manage a emotinal damage.
@@user-cj7em3fj4x - You're clueless.
I appreciate how Ted Talks named this video "How to practice emotional aid" and not "How to practice emotional aid on yourself "
Because we all came thinking how we could help others...and returned learning how we could help ourselves firt
Sooo true! Its important for all of us to understand that we can't help anybody to be emotionally healthy unless we are too.
Indeed👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
That is why I came here! And I was about to click off when I realized it was a guide on how to help myself- until I saw your comment! I will now continue watching lol
It's like you read my mind
Um, no?.. I came here after a series of psychological self-awareness videos. So I never thought this video is about helping others
Listening to the guy's voice, he could have a successful second career narrating kids' shows on the BBC.
He narrates his own audiobooks, and yes, it's great.
@@lalakuma9 - Thanks so much for making me aware of his audiobooks - this talk really spoke to me and I want more of it!
He is very easy to listen to.
I was thinking how much I love his voice. He's also a very good speaker. He must have a lot of practice.
My phonetics teacher would love to listen to this man
I really love how he addresses the issue of emotional health without shoving his expertise in psychology to the audience, while still able to get everyone to hear what he says thanks to his narrative-ish speech-which I must say is really easy to understand. We really need more humble professionals like him.
What's his name??
@@harshgangaramani8270 Guy Winch
I felt the same way!!
I agree, he's quite relatable.
Love your comment. Totally agree! Thank you!
Man. I always see the right random TedTalk at the right time :)
Yeah me too
Right? Thank God cause I needed this today and didn't know how much it would help. 🙂🙂🙂
even i just thinking about it and it appeared on my recommendation. sorry for my bad engs
May be these software algorithms are getting better and better at analysing our thinking and thus showing us relevant videos.
Same.
"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”
― Henry Ford
fr
I clicked on this video for the purpose of helping my friends who have mental health problems but this guy made me realise that it was me who needed help. I really appreciate this video
Wow, me too. Well, it has to start with yourself, right?
Off topic, but I like your profile pic, honey works fan here😚
Same rn..
Like the saying, save yourself first, before saving other.
okay but me too omg
"Break a negative cycle before it begins" Damn. That hit too hard.
👍😁
5:40 Loneliness
7:32 Pay attention to emotional pain
7:42 Failure (toy-activation example)
10:58 Stop emotional bleeding
11:46 Rejection (divorcee example)
13:34 Protect your self-esteem
13:45 Rumination
15:40 Battle negative thinking
Thank you 🙏
Needed this for a project. Thank you so much!!!!
Thanks 😊
Thank you. Youre a star💛
Not the hero we deserved, but the hero we needed...
I would watch this over and over again to remind myself about the harms of rumination. That I need to do something about this chronic anxiety and loneliness.
The world is bigger than the life we live in. The walls that block us, never pierced the skies or ever crossed the seas, but we ourselves can and have.
Asking Google Assistant to tell you the first 1000 digits of Pi will help with breaking the cycle of ruminating
so you're ruminating about the harms of rumination by rewatching this video over and over again?? .... sorry.
@@shaunnil8248 No.
He has such a calming, gentle voice. Makes you feel like everything will work out
Feels are sth concrete though! In case of emotional health, what could matter more than feelings? It is about feelings in the first place!
@@nadvic1797 yeah you're right i was wrong and deleted the comment
I find he rather sounds like a robot
@@Stereochemistry yes
@@Stereochemistry I know, right? It made me feel a little uneasy every time I noticed... Then I scrolled down to see if anyone else had the same impression
It's so difficult being compassionate to yourself...
elm0505 you’re right. We are harder on ourselves than we would ever be on others
that's why we have each other :)
I couldn't agree with you more
Oh yeah. It takes dedication to start shifting the horrible things we think about ourselves. But we can do it.
So f4cking true
No doubt. You are a "REAL"Doctor. Your speech brought tears to my eyes. We tend to be so hard on ourselves. Thank you so much
Only Jesus is the real doctor, so you’re lying
@@irinasolomina1800🙄
Loneliness being purely subjective was such an eye opening statement. I feel like often when someone says they’re lonely someone else will point out all the “tangible” ways that they aren’t. But at the end of the day it doesn’t matter, you can be in a see of people but if you don’t have the specific connection you NEED then you will be lonely and it’s not for anyone else to perceive but you. That’s so powerful
🤔
"loneliness affects immune system"
Me- *cough*
I moved to my first apartment when I was 20. Between the age of 20-24, I was sick 3-4 times a year. I had no friends.
Then I met my husband, now nearly four years ago. I'm barely sick once a year, and fight it off almost immediately when I do catch something.
I agree. I am battling a life long disease and the minute I reached out for a shoulder to cry on, I started feeling healed and haven't had any physical complications for a month now. I started living again. In fact, my life is much better because a human very dear to me 'my mother' made me promise her that my primary goal in life should be 'to be happy'. I am honouring it and always will :-)
@@HeyPhonsi you are lucky. My God bless you.
Aww. I'll be your friend, and support u.
Get well soon tho pal and take some panado for that cold u have going on cough don't be silly cough.
12:44 This is something I have never considered. He's so right that we would never make a physical injury worse. We would protect it and care for it so it can heal. Yet, we don't do that with emotional injuries. We often make them worse with negative thinking. What a revolutionary concept to treat our minds the same way we do our physical body. I only wish we were all taught how to do this. It makes me want to learn more about it.
he has a very good book on it, Emotional first aid its called
@Careful Icarus Ridiculously spoiled zoomers who grew up with actually competent adults.
Thing is, I like physically hurting myself, so i guess I'm doomed...
@@itaygavish6694 yeah and I let a keloid scar get big,
That when I went to get it fix
(When I actually started to care, like 4 years laters)
It couldn't get fix with the injections, no only cuz of size but it has it's own fibers (don't know how to explain it, bad english, but you get the idea. I didn't cause something, but I didn't fix it and now is a bigger issue.)
@@tagaway6173 oof, I try my best not to cut but it's kinda useless because I can't control myself when I do. My depression takes over and I'm just useless. I know not to go too far but please don't be like me...
Hi Ted! I am a nurse. In my life I have to deal with many situations that mainly consists in loneliness and rejection even from my own family. It has been very sad that I barely had emotional support from my parents. This lack of happiness and a constant search for it corrupted by my surroundings has made me struggle all my life till today in my last semester for my Bachalor's. One thing that distinguishes me is that no matter what my situation is I will succeed. It has been extremely hard to deal with my father's and mother's divorce along with their rejection and cruelty to me. I know everything I just wrote is very personal but most people are scared of speaking about it, I am not because I know that the sun will rise again and I will be able to breathe and treat my patients with the love I never had. I am more than thankful for your studies, your effort and your determination to help people. Thank you!
fr
I hear ya but hang in there it sounds like you’re on the right track & God bless you!!!
Thank you for your honesty and transparency about your feelings and emotions surrounding your difficult upbringing. This Psychologist has helped me see past my failings and failed upbringing too. Your comment also gave me hope that the future can be brighter.
2:10 "Walk it off, it's just in your leg."
3:28 "My brother is also a psychologist, so he's not a real doctor either."
4:13 "We decided to splurge and we talked for 10 minutes."
10:03 "I said "In the front seat" but that made no sense to him whatsoever, so now he thought I was on drugs."
I teared when he he talked about how lonely he was when his brother "didn't" call
No you didn't.
@@jonhohensee3258 lol
me too! I was so scared I thought he was going to say he died and thats why he didn't call!
Belle R. literally same :( everything in life is just so sad now
@@jonhohensee3258 bruh
Best thing I got from this--- treat yourself like a good friend. That is amazing
Psychological issues were never our enemies, they just try to signal us for something that we are missing. So, we should know whats the core of the issue and fix it rather than fighting the issues off.
@@aishasaif7128 great point.
no it wasn't.
I love how much love he has for his brother and how he shows it.
When he talked about him waiting for his brothers call, I started to cry. I know that feeling so good...
My sister sent me this because I've been struggling with depression for a couple of years and, to be honest, I really needed this. I really like the way he presents this issue, he seems so natural and passionate.
+A.M. Arteaga : Quick tip: You should watch this video often for it to hammer into your head :)
I strongly recommend his book. I got it on amazon for less than $20. It is more detailed than this lecture and it helps so much
It helped me too
Thank you for recommending his book. I bought it five minutes ago because of your hint.
My ex recommended me this since he realized how badly I struggled with depression and a non-existent self-esteem, especially since he was majoring in psychology and still cared about me. The problem was I kept putting that off until now. I needed this too, and I really liked the way he presented the message.
Loneliness, failure, rejection, rumination.. sounds like a checklist of my life.
most of our lives my friend...
at least you are not alone in this :D
That's a step in the right direction then :D
You have the check list and now you can go and isolate the triggers. Which one goes where at one moment and make strategies on how to turn that into positive force for you in your own way!
+sogghartha I feel for you buddy. And I often feel the same way.
There is still hope my friend. There is still hope. I used to be in that place as well.. Up until today. But we can make it..
I found myself close to tears a few times. That tells me that I have some emotional hygiene issues to work on. I'd like to watch this again with my whole family. I hope it would stimulate a positive, healing conversation.
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and insights, Dr Winch.
Thank You for this 'first aid' solution to help our very sick Hurting World .. it is an urgent need to ALL living in God's wonderful Creation 💕🙏
I've already opened a new playlist named "rewatch" section & put this video first on the list. I'll watch this again whenever I'll feel emotional pain.
Being close to tears listening to this talk doesn't mean that you have emotional issues, it means that you have empathy. That's a good thing.
@@roushnirafamajumder1578 reminder that this video exists if you are feeling in need of some emotional first aid ⛑️ ❤️
After recovering from a traumatic event i churned over and over why it ate into me, why it left me hollow. And i realised that it was less the event and more of how i had hacked away at my mind and soul by negative thoughts that i collapsed into a nobody. I lost my confidence, pride, compassion, desire to live ; all because of what i did to my lonely self within the four walls of my empty house. I hate to discuss my personal life but i know what it is like, so anyone feeling the same, please know what this guy has said is true. It is just a state of mind not the reality. You can change your reality by changing your state of mind. Bless you x
I'm just 3 min in and already love this. "Just walk it off. It's all in your leg" XD
Funny .
Ernthir same
This was probably the best TED talk I've ever heard.
I was just thinking this!
I agree! I only wish I’d found it sooner
Same here, very powerful words
I have never related to a WHOLE video about what I have been struggling to since the pandemic and this video made me feel safe and that I am valid wherein a lot of times I do not feel that way in my life. In the past month, I worked as an intern here in our place and I started it with a whole different and new environment in my home/neighborhood and even all of the people I worked with were all complete strangers to me. I never let my guard down in that short amount of time I've been an intern so that the people there won't really know who I am, that I am a very vulnerable person and also have depression and anxiety. I couldn't even believe myself that whole time there, I was the strong person that I wish I could be in everyday, but I guess I really just have episodes in my life. Getting better everyday!
This was posted 7 years ago and I am just now seeing it. ❤ Sharing with my adult children and friends.
Rumination is horrible stuff indeed. I speak from experience.
Complaining Qoheleth I’ve caught myself in the spiral of rumination ..
Wow. The story about rejection and calling the "friend"...🤯💯💯💯
Me everytime.. Even as simple as forgeting some people's name
I still remember some small mistake I made 10 years ago
This part made my eyes water🥺
It was his twin, not just a friend
Hazel Sleep she talks about the story of the women who was rejected
A master in his field, making a difficult subject understandable and relatable.
I discovered this on accident. It was NOT an accident. I needed to hear this & God knew it. Such an amazing 17 minutes. Thank you so much! I am in one of the loneliest seasons of my life. I understand the importance of positive thinking. I didn't used to know how negative my thinking was. Even when my outward communication was positive, my inner monolog & self talk were negative. I'm trying feel so down, but I struggle. I look forward to listening to the Emotional First Aid video💗
Having any mental/emotional problems is considered weak and embarrassing, which discourages psychological "routine check-ups", among other things. Plus, letting yourself be vulnerable with a complete stranger is terrifying.
nullins Top notch fear mongering dude.
/
nullins
It's cool, bro.
Agreed. When I would explode with anger it seems that it was very embarrassing and disrespectful. After its over its like I've wrecked my own reputation. And then, even after that...it turns out that the way I thought people would think of me, wasn't even how they thought and I screwed myself over. All because of the rumination and failure.
LemonWedge123 Well if we are, then we know that what the doc said was true. Distractions work like a charm. It seems like I take failure too seriously. I guess certain people have to keep moving forward. Like myself. I used to be level headed, or a better description is **was seen** as level headed. But I think my reputation mattered most to me, and when I broke my own character I was disappointing myself. I can't depend on others to make me see myself how I want to be seen.
One of the best Ted Talks I've ever watched
aliacka54 .. totally
Agreed
aliacka54 I agree as well. Could you suggest a few more you liked?
Hands down
then you are in trouble ... lol
I never beat myself up when I fail or get rejected I'm so grateful I never do the bad self talk THANK YOU MOM u teached me the strongest thing In the world 💙
How did she do that?
This video made me that I wanna study psychology 4 years ago .... and now Im a college student of psychology in japan. When I get tired I come to here sometimes. Thank you so much doctor guy winch you makes my confidence always
The reason he could talk with such conviction and also convince us is because he has been through it and shared the same honestly.
Great Ted talk.! 👌✌️
True! ! :)
The clarity he projected with the concepts were spectacular. one of the best TED videos so far.
Agreed! A standing ovation was deserved!!
We should watch this every day! Brilliant, obvious but desperately needed!
Beautiful story!
I quit smoking for good with no desire when I made myself think of 'all that is good and lovely' according to the Bible, whenever I had the urge. At 3/4 pack a day it had been strong. The first time through willpower, failed.
If we could have such love as this man to his brother.
1. We value physical health more than psychological health. If we had a broken leg, we would not say walk it off. But we do that with loneliness, failure, depression.
2. Take action when you're lonely. Loneliness makes us believe those around us care less than they actually do. It is based on your personal perception. Loneliness can be as harmful to your health as cigarette smoking.
3. Don't let your mind be tricked by failure Are you aware how your mind deals with failure? People believe their setbacks means they're no longer capable and do not reach their potential. Our minds are hard to change once it's made up. We have to fight to stop feeling the failure.
4. Be your own best friend and protect yourself against rejection. Rejection forces us to call ourselves names and damage our own self esteem. We wouldn't get a cut on our arm and dig at it and make it worse, but we do that with psychological. Instead, we need to protect our self esteem. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would treat others.
5. Constantly battle negative thinking. Rumination is when you agonize over the same idea over and over. Study shows even a two minute distraction is enough! Battle negative thinking constantly will foster positive thinking.
THANK YOU!
Not to be dramatic but I genuinely appreciate you as a human being thank you so much, I was just looking for a way to write everything down and this was such a concise summary. You indirectly supercharged my healing and I appreciate you so much.
Nice summary
thank you
Wow, thank you!
We take our kids for physical vaccinations, dental exams, eye checkups. When do we think to take our - our son or daughter for a mental health checkup?
This should absolutely become common practice. Even someone who's generally mentally healthy would benefit from a psychologist session every year or so.
True some health professionals say you should do both. Your mind and body are interconnected, if one is out of wack it will mess with the other. Your mind also is your consciousness so it’s arguably the most important part of your existence and the most complex. You should check it all of the time
Actually I was never taken to a doctor.
Come acrossed this vid by accident, coincidentally I was having a bad day. I never knew I needed this to lighten up the burden I'm feeling. Thank you so much!
I absolutely loved your Ted-talk winch. Thank you so much for this amazing speech..this sentence helped me do much, "Treat yourself like you'd expect from a truly good friend." 💛
Choosing to watch this video, despite the length, is probably the best thing I've done this week. How does this video not have more views? Everyone needs to watch this
what an incredibly powerful talk. Being your own best friend as an emotional band aid. I must remember that.
Loneliness creates a deep psychological wound, one that distorts our perceptions and scrambles our thinking. It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do. It makes us really afraid to reach out because why setup yourself for rejection and heartache when your heart is already aching more than you can stand.
this hit me like a train.
This has helped me so much. Its helped me recognize why I've been feeling so bad for the past three months, and now I'm going to try and take action and talk to the person causing me pain to tell them how they're hurting me. I can't thank this man enough :,)
Maybe try journaling everyday for ten minutes, talking to yourself or about yourself, positively and compassionately. I've heard that it's a good way to slowly change the way you think.
i confirm , personally it worked and i changed from a negative sad person to a positive and thankful one
@@tinachilla5652 that's really good! congratulations!
@@chickenskink1 thank you !
@@tinachilla5652 you're welcome haha
For people that might struggle at first with the writing or self positive talk,
There's also visualization of what you want or how you want things to be.
But even that one was a bit hard for me,
There's also the
"How will you feel if X,Y,Z, happened already?"
So trying "to feel" has work a bit.
I know there are names for these. My English is bad.
A bit of all might work to;
Writing
Self talk
Visualization
Feeling
In a way you are doing the same thing, you have to think about X subject.
Is just that we are all so different, lol.
I used to get discouraged when certain things worked on others and no me
Now I understand I have to keep trying to I find "my thing".
Throughout the video, why did I feel like I was having a one-on-one session with the speaker? 😅
Thank you Guy, this video has given me confidence after so many years of feeling deep lonliness and listening to my insecurities. It caused me to hurt the people i care about the most and push them away as the pain i felt/still sometimes feel can consume my thoughts completely and tell me i'm all alone, even when people were trying to reach out to me. I'm going to take your advice and carry it with me every time i feel the doubts starting to set in. Never give up the fight for happiness in life to anyone reading this. Never give up on yourself.
I have an anxiety disorder, ocd, etc, so I struggled, but the hardest part are anxiety attacks. I recently went on medication, and simply not having anxiety attacks anymore (so far) just gave me the energy to go exercise for the first time in years. I am starting to get better sleep, and my stomach hurts less. I don't want to cry every time I go to work or school.
I used to be the worst ruminator you could ever imagine. Especially during elementary school, I would spend the entire day stuck in my mind, regretting everything I've ever done and reliving the shame. As I got older, I started to notice how this bad habit was making my life miserable, and over the years I learned how to be mindful of it when it happens and remind myself that it's not healthy, that my brain makes everything more negative than it is, and more recently, I've also started stopping it with distractions. I don't know how healthy it is because usually I distract myself by watching CZcams videos lol, but at least when it's TED Talks, I learn something!
This guy's voice is incredible.
I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, I wasn't looking for this type of video I just stumbled upon it and started listening. I must say it made me realize my healing starts here and I'm not alone ,and I need to fight this battle.
Once I was told we can become addicted to grief, negativity, etc but can actually rechannel our thinking, it made sense. As humans, we must remember it's all in the brain and only an individual has the power to change the way thoughts are processed. No one can do this for you. It's your unique brain.
This is literally going to change how I live my life
🤗
🙌🏼🙌🏼
Same.. :)
How are u now?
Ruminating is what I’m doing right now. I can’t stop hearing all the negative stuff I heard in a recent disagreement with a loved one. It’s overwhelming and causing me anxiety. I keep thinking bad stuff about myself. I want to be better. This video is much needed and I’m on my way to getting better. Thank u.
Well said....
There are ways to help break the over thinking cycle. One expert I like is Reid Wilson. His CZcams channel under his name and his website, anxieties.com, have some great helps to understand the true nature of anxiety and how you feed it and gratefully how you can starve it. It is highly curable.
Try to force your mind off it by thinking of something else for 2 minutes like he said or better yet do what you would tell a friend to do if they came to you hurting like that.
I was this before and even worse than my present condition. Not until I had spent months to attend positive seminar, the negative thoughts slowly faded. And I can control it.
Hearing him speak on failure was particularly eye opening for me. I am recently out of a serious period of depression because of a failure. This gives me hope I can tackle inevitable future failures more mindfully!
I was crying while watching the whole thing... Why does it hurt soo much to fail, being rejected, being ignored... Being overlooked... I can't deal with this lonelynes anymore
Perfect voice for voice acting, voice overs, audio book, etc.
Yeah, and a twin no less. They could of been good actors in a different life.
holy crap.... he's absolutely RIGHT! I was on the verge of tears hearing him point out whats been the matter with me for the past 3years! I've been lonely, depressed, and have been nothing but negative to myself. But the moment he defined what loneliness is and does I knew b4 he started talking about how to change it. and my tears became of happiness. positmestic, hopeful, and encouraged! The encouragement that ive been searching for for years now. as simple as that, it was or is, like a slap in the face! how obvious! idk how long this joy of releif will last, however it doesn't matter anyway because I know now, what it is, and how to fix it. Thank you, thank you sooooo sooooooooo sooooooooooooooooo much! !!!
I'm glad!
How's it going now, 2 years later?
Hey aerick how are you now
Yeah, how're you doing now, Aerick? Feeling better and more positive? How did things turn out? I'm really curious! (Hope everything is good!)
I'm happy you were happy
Hope you're doing well
This is gotta be one of my favorite TED talk. Thank you Dr. Guy Winch, your speech really saved my life. Stay strong everyone.
Rejection, it really pains oneself. Failures, despite all hardworks, is truely dragging you down. The feeling that you gave it your all, you spent most of your time and efforts, but still remain a loser. This is indeed, heart breaking, especially if no one got your back.
2:25
"Why is it our physical health is so much more important to us than our psychological health?"
That's the story of my life in a nutshell right there
this guy gave me a boost and let me aspire to become a psychotherapist
Is it working out?
Hope everything's going smooth now
hows it going now
@Deligah Hawkins, hmmm, just a psychotherapist..... not a real doctor.
Haha. Did you read some psychotherapy btw?
All the best!
“You wouldn’t get a knife and dig deeper into a cut” this is powerful and extremely important.
That's true we look after our physical appearance, health, status, personal hygiene but really we need to focus on our emotional side that's very deteriorating once you get indulged with emotional pain. I hope every one go past those emotional pain and find peace of mind.
God Bless everyone!!😇
Loneliness is a monster. It's so much of a monster I can't recognize it anymore. Am I alone or am I lonely... I no longer can differentiate. As soon as I am surrounded by people and overwhelmed by conversation, I want to be alone. But once I achieve it, I don't know what to do anymore and feel very awkward.
oh i recognize it very well what your saying. i was in rhat state for decades.
after years and years of work with myself i realized, being alone is beneficial too. we need both - to practice connection with others as well as to stay alone. we need to be alone for some time too. and we need to know how to be alone without feeling bad. it's programmed into us "oh it's so bad to be alone, if youre alone somethings wrong with you", brainwashing. and then we suddenly find ourselves in "oh somethings wrong with me"
and the state while being alone depends on how healthy and balanced i am. when i was very negative, dependant, disbalanced, injured,btraumatized, unhealthy psychologically, i was feeling awfully in any situation - alone or with people or even used to have problems with the ones i felt a bond with.
as soon as i worked over a part of my psychological health, i began feeling better and better in any situation too.
there's a saying - even shoes hinder a bad dancer.
even the most comfortable situation can become a problem, if i am not healthy minded. and even the most challemging situation can turn into a lesson or joy or positive change, if i am healthy minded.
I've seen quite a few TED talks now, but this one is by far my favourite!
Don't get me wrong, I love watching most of the other ones, but this one is really special in my opinion.
Agreeed!
Thank you so much for this. As a lone twin it touched me on so many levels. At my sisters funeral I had everyone read out the I love myself statement from Louise Hays book You can heal your life. I instinctively knew I would only survive her death by trying to love myself as much as she did. But the loneliness runs deep here on this physical plane even though I know spiritually we are still joined. So glad for you that you still have your twin and you are sharing the life lessons you came together for. Thanks for the tips I will definitely use the two minute distraction technique. God bless you both.
This talk really hit me emotionally. It felt like he was speaking directly to me personally. Like he was looking into my soul. We’ve all been through so much. We’ve all been hurt, had shame and guilt. It’s time I practiced emotional hygiene. I’ve beat myself up and allowed myself to be beaten up too much for far too long. It’s time to start helping myself and healing. Thank you Guy.
''loneliness creates a deep psychological wund, one that distorts out percection and scrambles our thinking''
OMG! SO WORTH WATCHING!
I
I’m a twin and I say that everything he said about twins is true. I love his storytelling.
I wanted this ted talk so badly! I cried when he talked about loneliness. You can be around people, friends, family and feel disconnected and that creates loneliness.
In the past years I've been watching videos like this, and reading about things like these... But oh lord. This is the first one that actually reach my mind. It's like he broke a wall that I didn't know it existed. There are no words to describe how grateful I am now... And motivated to know myself better.
Dr. Winch speaks with great compassion and understanding. He seems like a good man.
Watching this again after having a really dark period of loneliness and suicidal thoughts makes a lot of sence.
As someone struggling with mental health issues since childhood, it was so incredibly cathartic to watch this talk. Thank you so much for speaking for us, for everyone's health. Especially speaking on loneliness. It's interesting to know that those whose words should fall the heaviest - those who have experienced mental health issues and would be taken serious under many other circumstances - often does not bear much weight with healthy individuals.
Thank you for this video, I was feeling so down and you just gave me a different perspective to look at things. It's a great comparison to the physical wounds, because often times we are the ones that putting ourselves with deeper pain without realizing the actions.
I just want to say that this Ted talk helped me a lot when I was in a dark place, thank you so much. Also, if you're going through something, life is hard but just keep moving forward and growing as a person.
WHY AM I CRYING, THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!
Tears of gratitude?
@@eurocafeduo yes
Broke down too
Amazing explanation, These are the basic negative emotions that affect us and the others but they aren't seen as a problem, sometimes not even SEEN,
Just knowing that things can go wrong Because of these thoughts and feelings makes us more aware about them, and enables us to aid them And
I personally find the thumbnail really fantastic.👍!
This is the most impressive speech that I've ever heard. I didn't realize protecting my own esteem can connect maintain mental health and not to enter the negative cycle.
I wanna get this mindset and hope more people who are holding something negative can be saved by it.
Looks like I just found the most important video of the century.
His voice keeps reminding me of Kurzgezagt ^_^
Funny because Kurzgezagt recommended his book on their video of loneliness :)
Don't you guys know? Kurzgezagt is his twin
Gorry Hören really bro ??
@@elricedward3378 no, im just kidding
Love listening to the guy. He is so calm and can make people feel better with just his words.
Thank you for sharing your decades of experience for no fee.
Pretty sure anyone who gives a TedTalk gets paid, but yes it's nice that Ted publishes these to watch for free
@@MariChambers I agree with you both, though i think the cost of withholding informations like these and not sharing comes at greater cost than any money could ever make up for. Good information and Knowledge is valueable, but also absolutely deserves to be shared. I'm really grateful for it too.
"We don't have failures. We have "Happy Accidents."
-of course Bob Ross
OH I needed this right now! I took care of my father until he passed away last September. I've been suffering from minor ailments since. Both my family doctor and physical therapist say I should see a psychologist. Growing up, only weak and deranged people went to a psychologist-- what an idiotic way of thinking. Thank you Guy Winch for explaining this so eloquently.
sorry to hear about ya dad. i hope you get the help you need and feel better soon. and don't worry, lots of people think psyc is for weak people, i'm glad you know that's not true. it's actually for strong people, people strong enough to look after themselves.
geekgroupie42
Thank you for your kind words. The broken leg analogy really impressed me.
Some of the most successful amazing people I know have a psychologist. Go be like them.
James Evers emotional hygienist?
We all go one day, that's for sure. As long as we don't build up a litany of regrets. My mum died of cancer and it was a terrible thing. I am happy that her pain finished. The sad emptiness still comes often, but gradually getting lesser. hardest part was letting them go, after they already left. But we must do this as they only live in our minds now. I'm growing as many flowers as i can, as she loved flowers. I stopped visiting the grave as there's really nothing there and I'll just bawl my eyes out.
his voice and storytelling are a emotional first aid as it is!
everyone should hear his good message! 👍🏼
Love the calm tone of his voice. Learing to control your thoughts is the greatest of all gifts. Excellent talk.
Thank you , I've experienced all that you've said and learnt to practice the Emotional First-Aid all by myself.
I'm proud to have come up with the techniques myself but I'm also very happy to know this is how a real professional psychologist would think. Thank you for sharing .
I love his tone of voice. He can have a great career in recording audio-books if he wants a change from patients! Not to mention this is one of the best ted talks I have watched.
I keep wondering, where is he from?
this was amazing.
i had to clap at the end, i really loved it.
me too
try Augusto Cury work
I think by mental hygiene he's talking about not thinking negitivly
i clicked on this video without thinking much and i completely froze when he talked about loneliness...i never realised how emotionally wounded i was until this video
i think i speak for many people when i say thank you doctor, truly. your advice has saved many people from so much pain ❤