The INFJ and Anger
Vložit
- čas přidán 16. 07. 2024
- * Support me on Patreon: / renaudcontini
** My book on the INFJ, 'The Ecstatic Soul', is available here:
US: amz.run/4uCV
Canada: amz.run/4tk0
UK: amz.run/4tk4
Australia: amz.run/4v2E
France: amz.run/4tk5
Germany: amz.run/4tk6
Netherlands: amz.run/4v2D
Spain: amz.run/4tk7
Italy: amz.run/4tk8
India: amz.run/4v2B
Brazil: amz.run/4v2I
Mexico: amz.run/4v2K
Japan: amz.run/4tk9
*** My new novel 'The Infinite Castle' is available here:
US: amz.run/5q7p
Canada: amz.run/5q7q
UK: amz.run/5q7s
Australia: amz.run/5q7w
France: amz.run/5q7u
Germany: amz.run/5q7v
Netherlands: amz.run/5q7x
Spain: amz.run/5q7y
Italy: amz.run/5q80
India: amz.run/5q82
Brazil: amz.run/5q86
Mexico: amz.run/5q84
Japan: amz.run/5q81
**** My debut novel 'The Interview', is available here:
US: amzn.to/2HN0uJY
Canada: amzn.to/3kNnoih
UK: amzn.to/381B3ic
Australia: amz.run/4v2P
France: amzn.to/382AvsG
Germany: amzn.to/3kM5tsA
Netherlands: amz.run/4v2Q
Spain: amzn.to/3kOuJ1l
Italy: amzn.to/3enJuWw
India: amz.run/4v2L
Brazil: amz.run/4v2M
Mexico: amz.run/4v2O
Japan: amzn.to/382Azsq
Please hit a like if you enjoyed this video and consider subscribing for more content ;-)
I think infjs spend most of their time tip toeing around people and situations, often knowing other people’s weaknesses and insecurities, but not always aware of their own. Then when anger does build up, they snap and this Ni-Ti can be very cutting and aims for the sorest part of the recipient, which in turn can be really mean. So then the infj becomes a mop and tries the clean the tears shed. In my experience it doesn’t happen often and only happens in really stressful times. Generally I’d like to think that I’m a pleasant person 😂
We INFJs are still waters... we run deep. Like a volcano we simmer and all of a sudden we release a river of lava burning every thing in its path. I have done this a few times in my life. Through out the years I have learned to not speak when angry and remove myself from stressful situations. Because whenever I do get angry or raging, its usually when others are dishonest or deceptive towards me. I do not like unscrupulous narcissistic individuals. These type of people and/or situations triggers my hulk like persona. Which I do not like to display because its not my natural way of being. People that disrupts my well-being, peacefulness and harmony might get the wrath of this INFJ! And when its displayed it is hurtful and truthful. So I try to avoid this anger by being mindful of emotions and stress; its very helpful in controlling these outbursts.
Hahaha ! People type Bruce Banner / Hulk as INFJ for a reason !
I get very rarely angry, and i can "disallow" and dissipate anger quite easily, but when i allow myself to get angry, and really decide to show anger, it's usually very short and very explosive.
I jokingly warns my new students about this at the beginning of year : "You are all quite adept at reading signs of angers on your teacher's faces, and able to calm down 2 seconds before it's too late. This won't work with me. If you ever makes me really angry, you won't see it coming, but believe me, you'll remember it". And when it eventually happens, they are all like "WTF". And i'm like "eh, i told u so, since day 1".
I agree with everything you said about our relative lack of anger awareness and our unhealthy tendency to build lots of repressed anger over time. I found out that doing lots of expressive Se related activity helps a lot with that : singing, playing music, meditation, sports, etc. Sometimes i only notice how angry i actually am when i'm doing stuff that involve mind-body connection.
Jup.INFJ anger is frightning and powerfull,like a Atomic Bomb and we end up ruining what we tried saving in the first place.
My Darkside has been my greatest fear to exspose to others but since I have been embracing it more and more it is like my deppression cycles are becoming less.
I dont try keeping it all in at al times but relieve myself of it by very diplomatically, yet intensely firm with lots of energy releases -saying what needs to be said,thus building .Very gracefully and respectfull still.Being the Advocate/Counsler is to help others to self reflect , heal and grow.
Do not want to say it but have to .
INFJ are advanced in many ways.
So I try to fall back on this realising not everybody sees my picture so thus forgiving instandly and try to show them how they act by mimicing them, not childish but exaxtly for a while untill they adress my actions and when they get irritated with me .I beg their forgiveness and tell them this is how I see them and how it makes me feel.I pretend I am a mirror.That is how I taught my kids as toddlers works perfectly.
Being a bit advanced is very duffycult not easy to understand why some act the way they do in situations.
EVIL! I know,but how else will I show them.
Better than loosing my cool.Usually feel sick for days after setting my bomb off.
Thanks for adressing this.Have struggeled with it all my life 43 now!!!Only got these two solutions working for me so far.Phew hard work this.
The truth is you can't run from yourself.Believe me I have tried.
Feed the Good Wolf and Train the Dark one to obey hey😂😂
Alfa and Beta Wolf.Alfa does the planning but when life gets hard send in the Beta wolf trained to retreat before destroying.
Mmmmm
I me to clever today again😂😁😅 sorry.Hope you enjoy my comment as much as I enjoyed your video.
I think infj do not really know how to express anger which is acceptable or called healthy by society because it's quite confronting and brutal. One tip I can give is to leave the situation asap after you're done exploding. Lay down comfortably and give yourself a bed break. Crying also helps. Talk about the underlying issue afterwards when you've returned to normal.
INFJ, here & yeah I used to explode badly. I still explode sometimes when I don't just deal with the discomfort of speaking my irritations right in the moment. I don't say hurtful things I become blatantly honest; I have a habit if getting upset by someone's actions & instead of instantly voicing it I start logging infractions while at the same time doing everything in my power to be kind, then when I'm fed up so to speak I just unleash every feeling I've been holding back without being cruel then I never speak to them again. I don't feel bad about it either most of the time because the way I see it I gave ample opportunity to the other person to stop whatever it is that's bothering me. Because I may not say things right away I do cool off & bring up the topic, drop hints & I've even written down how I feel in an attempt to get thrust to the other person. More often than not I find myself simply staying away from creating meaningful relationships with others 😑
P.S. The venting only works if you're actually listened to, typically the only reason that I (personally) end up so riled is because I seriously feel as though all my attempts at trying to rectify the situation seem to have "gone in one ear & out the other."
INFG's anger cuts deep, it's acute and like an arrow.
Yes I think it reflects our thinking which we cannot directly express. ESTP mode.
Anger is my biggest problem, childhood had a lot of influence for me. 28 and still have issues. I try to keep the whole 'theres a time and place' kind of thing, but when I get angry I cant control it, anger will rule my actions. It does take a lot for me to get there though. PMS doesnt help.
Work on it, find the root cause and learn to transmute, as the older you get, the harder to change it gets. I'm in my late 40's and struggling with anger, as it affects badly my intimate relationships. All the best :)
I have gone through stages of how I handle anger. I think I get angriest when I feel hurt by someone I care about, so anger is my defense from being hurt. There was a time when I would get in my car and scream and rage until I was worn out and vented without actually harming the person I was angry at. I am sure people wondered about the crazy lady in the car. This was years ago in circumstances that were just difficult until enough time had passed that the issues were outgrown.
I rarely get angry at close friends, frustrated, but not angry. So it is usually a family member including my spouse, because these are the people I am closest to and so I can be more easily hurt. The best thing I can do is talk out my frustrations with an uninvolved friend. Either just talking gets it out of my system or talking about it gets me calmed down enough to calmly bring up what’s bothering me and explain how I feel. In some cases though, I just totally distance myself from the person and they may not even know why.
When I am with casual friends and I don’t agree with what someone is saying...I just listen but don’t give a response. Especially right now here in US -so much political divisiveness. I’ve also have distanced myself from people who just assume everyone agrees with what they say...and I am not one to even try to discuss politics if we have vastly different views. I think it is over-discussed more than enough.
With my family which includes in-laws, I forgive and (mostly) forget. I know that it’s better to accept that you have differences but that you also have stronger ties with family. And that I have quirks and a shadow side too. Great topic!
Lovely to hear your story Bev. I relate to a lot of what you're saying. The part about family members and feeling the angriest when they hurt me is so true in my case. I'm going through a rocky patch with my mum at the moment. I just can't seem to get through to her and whenever we try and talk about certain topics, she gets angry, I get angry, we fight, we cry and then it all gets swept under the rug until my next blow up. I find if I can't talk about how I'm feeling to someone - anyone - I feel so alone and overwhelmed and that's when I get progressively more frustrated. I'll work through this eventually but it's nice to know there are people out there who are like me. Best wishes :)
Thanks for referencing my comment! Yes, I meant inferior Se, and thought maybe that would have caused confusion with the other idea of shadow functions (Ne, Fi, Te, and Si for INFJs) when I wrote it that way. With shadow Se, I was referring to Jung’s concept of the shadow (or dark side, so to speak) and how this represents the unconscious side of our personality, which is the inferior function, since he believed that function is the most repressed and unconscious in the individual being in opposite orientation to the dominant function (which then is most conscious). Here are some quotes from a secondary text (Personality Types: Jung’s model of typology by Darryl Sharp) on Jung’s Psychological Types that makes this link:
“Theoretically, we can say that the inferior or undeveloped attitude and functions are part of that side of ourselves Jung called the shadow.”
“The shadow is potentially both creative and destructive: creative in that it represents aspects of oneself that have been buried or that might yet be realized; destructive in the sense that its value system and motivations tend to undermine or disturb one’s conscious image of oneself. Everything that is not ego is relatively unconscious; before the contents of the unconscious have been differentiated, the shadow is the unconscious. Since the opposite attitude and the inferior functions are by definition relatively unconscious, they are naturally tied up with the shadow.”
So, for INxJs, that’s Se! I think it makes a ton of sense. I also agree with you here on how exercise/sports can be beneficial to releasing one’s anger, and learning to express it more readily, not repressing it, where it can dangerously build up. Repressing it only makes it more unconscious, when the goal for psychological individuation from a Jungian perspective is to integrate the unconscious into our conscious personality. :)
Haha I’m too shy to put my name online 😊, but maybe I’ll reach out to you on INFJ forum website you’ve mentioned before, if that’s alright.
😤😡 For me, my INFJ rage sometimes surprises & scares others & of course, myself. I too can be cruel with my words when I've lost control. I feel like a spectator on the sidelines watching as Dr. Jekyll turns into Mr. Hyde in the time it takes to flip a light switch. THEN COMES THE FALLOUT. The regrets, the sadness, bad feelings, possible apologies, the bridge/s I've just burned behind me, etc. The list goes on & on. My INFJ rage has resulted in bad things. 😢😥
I was not like this just a few years ago, what happened?
For me, it reminds me of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide. When I turn into "Mr. Hide", I actually prepare by [first] trying to HIDE; to be away from people, until the "ESTP-shadow" has subsided enough. But, once I am backed into a corner and in full swing, it's like being a werewolf: unconscious rage... I'm in the same boat with you, Ren, where I'm trying to get ahead of it in the healthiest ways possible!
Integration of anger to balance people pleasing
As an infj teenager i feel like im most of the times very calm but there are like small moments where like my anger is triggered and it just turns into something i cant really describe. Its almost as if I completely switched personalities and instead of being understanding ( which even in anger i am ) i tend to lean more towards being extra cynical and critical of the situation and the people involved and i feel like the i start to judge others more and more and its very unhealthy but idk how to deal with it. Any thoughts?
I relate to this too. The super ego ISTJ kicks in when an INFJ cannot stay in the ego structure, which happens in "rage" and when the personality cannot handle a situations in general.
Check the stack of ISTJs and see how it ACTUALLY even make sense, when you notice it "IRL", and not just in theory.
@hieuwey I agree brother!! :)
Thank you sooo much!
You’re welcome!
Yes! I've that exact issue...I'm a beautiful person...but my anger...I'm learning I think, to deal with it... until I explode again. Lol
I almost didn't comment because I think it's pointless to, but anger is a huge part of my life...I tend to be a really calm person, I discovered only lately of my life that I can express my discontent. But I was never able to do that with my parents, they never let me speak or defend my self, neither express any of my emotions or thoughts in any sort, the anger build up over the years and I tend to have those rages every day because of this treatment, but with other people I'm so calm and I feel free to express my self. This problem can not be solved in any way, I tried to discuss this several times but it was always hopeless, they seem to think that I don't have the right to disagree in any way, I'm learning to keep my calm with them but it's hard as an infj to be treated this way for whole of my life.
I would say that most people have an aversion to the expression of anger - although I would agree that it is a particular bête noire for the INFJ. A number of years ago a comic actor from the U.K. interviewed some famous people here on the matter of anger (on the basis that it is still seen as a taboo subject among the general public.) A famous politician (who is well-known for his fiery outbursts), was asked why he frequently expressed his anger in public.
He replied that "it's fine to be angry; it's losing your temper that is the problem." I think control is the issue here. I believe that the answer for the INFJ is, as you say, to not allow any negative emotion to build up internally over time. This reminds me of a quote from a book I was given by a relative when I was around ten years old. I can't find the book at the moment, however the quote was taken from a famous thinker, and expressed the sentiment that being angry with the right person, at the right time, for the right reason, to the right degree, is a difficult thing in life.
I am much better at dealing with anger now than I was when I was in my youth, and yet I have been living with a situation that has been playing out over the last year in which I have had every right to anger; a situation which has caused me to suffer acute anxiety in the process. The point I am making is that because I was so sensitive to what was happening to my health at the time, I was intensely aware that if I didn't express this anger to the correct degree, I knew my health would most likely have collapsed under the strain of the situation that was developing. My concern wasn't so much with the effect that my anger would have on the other parties in this instance (they deserved it.)
To conclude, I managed to express my anger in a measured way, although I withheld it at times - and again, this wasn't so much because of what would happen to others, rather it was because of the effect that it would most likely have on me, both in the moment and afterwards. Expressing this anger was the right thing to do, but it did take a terrible toll on me - despite improving the aforementioned circumstances a little.
Anger is not the problem. Losing your temper is. Yes ! Couldn't agree more. Anger can mean that you care. It is the opposite of cold indifference.
Oh goodness, this will be an interesting one. INFJ anger is something else. Hulk mode activated, explosive.
Well just like we can use words to heal/make others comfortable, we can use words to hurt. We have a “weigh” with words.
As an INFJ, I can say that sometimes when people like to debate, and they don't respect your opinions, it is hard to work out the anger in that situation, because you can avoid the debate and suppress the anger, or you can tell them what you think, and get angry when they don't seem to care what you think. I have learned to be honest and tell them I'd rather not for xyz reasons, and it kinda works. These debates usually get out of hand because I'll jump to the conclusion of what they're saying and they'll just change the focus to something tangential to the topic. It's very stressful and I don't know what to do about it, because I don't hate the other person, (partially because they are my brother) and also, I do not wish to walk away from them, but i think that they are not seeing both sides of the thing they are advocating for. He has noted that certain generic things I have said turned out to be true after he has experienced the thing first-hand, but I say things as a warning, I hope that you make decisions before somethong bad happens, i do not like saying i told you so🤷♂️
Excellent video! I have had the same experiences: waiving off micro aggressions again and again until either I erupt in anger inappropriately after the situation becomes unacceptable (to me) or I walk away for the situation permanently (i.e., the door slam). After some reading, I realize that I am very poor at establishing boundaries because I don't want to assume from the outset that someone will take advantage of me. Plus, I like to be helpful. But it can certainly come at a cost. Do you think that INFJs are better at picking up on other people's feelings than their own? I think this topic would be quite interesting to explore because I suspect that part of the reason that I occasionally have an anger-management problem is that I am so concerned about creating harmony that I'm not attuned to my own feelings (or perhaps I supress my own feelings so much that I'm not fully aware of them). Thank you for your insightful thoughts!
My anger I have been told is like a subtle slit, that bleeds out later. The rare moments I decided to be explosive energetically, it's personally exhausting. If it's explosive on my end, I don't usually return to remedy and fix the wound because trust and respect is lost. Anger in the greater scheme of things is evaluating what and why I care so much to even get angry, and should I or will I stop caring to fight for this 😜
This is very accurate since I have disconnected from toxic individuals in my family whom to be very narcissistic and insane. I use to argue and fight a lot, moving on is the wisest decision I have made in my life. Living on my own has brought a lot of peace and harmony in my life. Spending so much time alone has kept me calm. I use to wake up with anxiety wondering when I'm going to die. I no longer fear for my life I'm proud to have more days to do something positive.
I remember having an argument with my ex. We had been having a difficult time cos I was quite stressed out by my family and his mental illness. I was so angry that morning so when he suggested to me that maybe we were fighting all the time because we were afraid of the how much we loved each other, I looked him dead in the eye and said " I don't love you! "
Of course I didn't mean that. I loved him more than I had ever loved anyone but I couldn't help sticking the knife in sorest spot because I was angry!
Our relationship never recovered!
The only time my anger has been expressed with intensity is when my feelings (or those of others) have been ignored repeatedly, and abused ad nauseum. And my anger is a response to injustice. Usually if the person is reasonable and will have a conversation like a decent person, they will never see me angry.. frustrated maybe but never angry.
Frustration leads to anger, don’t let ourselves get frustrated. Speak our mind and we how feel. Practice not to speak right away and wait 30 secs to minute to think then speak. Try to formulate it in nicer way or even comedic way instead of so straightforward. I’ve noticed if I speak in negative tone and emotion, people just ignored you or react the same way back. Express your sad, unhappy feelings. If you lost those emotions, try watch more of love and sad movies. Spend more time around children, they express a lot of emotions. Gl
Being an INFJ, when I was younger (teens-thru-20's), I would literally ERUPT in anger. So much so that my mom & close friends thought I was literally possessed
. What was so incomprehensible to them was that "the nice guy who never got angry" literally flipped the fuck out off of his rocker. The weird thing about it was that, afterwards, it was such a total mental & physical release, that I didn't even care what happened or who I even hurt. Now that I'm older, I don't explode like that the same physical way anymore, but I find myself exploding using words that hurt those people I care about. It's basically still the same tho -- things r fine & dandy 99.9% of the time, but if you're around that 0.1% of the time wen I just can no longer put on that Happy Face, God help us all...
Very good subject. I really rarely get angry. But when I do, it almost seems to have effect as upcoming thunderstorm, and air gets very dense. Even if I do not speak people seem to keep safe physical distance from me, even closest friends. But I am not sure of my type, many stereotypes related to INFJ ring true to me, but so do fortune cookies sometimes
Maybe he meant Si demon/deamon, in an INFJ - @Renaud Contini
Si is memory, so for an INFJ it'd manifest in arising *only negative* memories.
This is very relatable, surprisingly. I've always repressed my anger..and my emotions, at that. Thanks for providing some insight into this.
Ren, how do you think one can handle the feeling of "not having anyone similar to talk with" or interact with, regarding our interests and experiences. Where I live, almost nobody even knows about stuff that I enjoy, and..the lack of..that..kind of..stings a bit. I wasn't bothered much about this but..sometimes it does come up. Any thoughts? Would be really helpful. Thanks a ton ♥️
Same here, that's what a "PTSD-childhood" does to a person ( lol and not lol at the same time ). Just the last 1-2 years I could finally begin getting somewhere with this. Expression, authentic expression and connection with Self ( most important ) and others are so important. Less and less things overall are repressed now, but I know there are still things "there", in the subconscious, sometimes reaching the conscious and that type of anger, especially when younger, made me "feel" like nothing in this world will stop my rage until I burn the whole fucking world to the ground. And of course, I would guilt trip myself to hell for this (INFJs Fi which is "the critical grand parent" function, mainly, when looking at it from a MBTI perspective ) without any exception a single time that I can remember.
The best thing you can do and work on is reprogramming the subconscious mind, many ways to go about it, and there is no way around it. It will always come up throughout life otherwise, if left unresolved, the inner child in an adult being overlooked years and years on end is devastating.
The science of meditation, yoga ( not just physical.. western-money stuff mislead the masses as per usual ), binaural beats, affirmations, journaling, free writing, being increasingly more true to yourself in your thoughts, feelings and actions ( in all regards ) and most important is this : Consistency. Repetition. Of whatever one choose to do to resolve the painful attachments and stagnated energies in the system, that are of the past.
We only ever really suffer, as humans, due to our attachment and addiction to the past and the possible future. In the very present moment, if being in tune with that, there is no such thing as suffering, and thus we need to clear ourselves and allow ourselves to more and more learn to let go, to accept, to forgive, to love and "be neutral", over time and again - with practice, BY CHOICE. It's all a choice in the end, and it's a choice in our every day life. It's not our goals that really matters, it's the every day actions we take to create the reality that we "want", or even better, that actually aligns with who we truly are, and not just ooonly with what we want, based on mind projections, that of which is always based in a lack-consciousness.
@@JonasAnandaKristiansson wow..so beautifully written. Thank you for making it more clear..and..yeah, I definitely still have that "rage" you described there, lol. Sometimes I think I'm the villain or something.
But..yes, I have been trying to get into meditation, I do tend to kind of do it sometimes but it's not really a habit. You're definitely right there, consistency matters a lot.
I'll be trying my best to know who I truly am..and..be the best version of myself..yeah.
Thank you so so much for taking the time to have written this, I appreciate it a lot. I wish you the best too!
Thank you Ren for all these insights. I have never looked at this that way. You pointed out the contradiction between wanting to preserve harmony with others and expressing one's discomfort caused by others. Now that I think about it, I totally relate to that. Do you think forcing ourselves to express our dissatisfied thoughts (despite being against harmony) will decrease our strong Fe on the long run?
I don't think so. Usually, the stronger a function is, the better you are at choosing when to use it or not. Besides, sometimes, resolving tensions is the best way to achieve harmony on the long run. I think the "Fe way" to be angry is to allow others to be angry too.
@@tsenjin7903 Thank you for your response ! Your last point got me intrigued though, could you please elaborate? Do you mean harmony could be achieved by allowing (and accepting) both others and myself to be angry ?
@@lady-m30 Basically, yes. All the efforts we do to preserve harmony also have the side effect to discourage people from expressing their own anger. End result is fake harmony, superficial peace, unresolved problems. Sometimes conflict is necessary to "clear the air".
@@tsenjin7903 I get what you mean now, thank you for the insight!
@@tsenjin7903 That is very true. The family situation all my life, first with my father included, then my stepfather. Never true harmony, acceptance or a loving family dynamic. So damn unhealthy. Probably the biggest thing I have yet to completely forgive to the core and let go of it, both due to the massive impact it had on my life at large, and the possible future, and for the rest of the family members too. So unnecessary. I'll never go about making a family, before I can handle my own shit, that means ' thought and emotion ' to a degree where it doesn't risk destroying the well being and full potential of other people, or animals and nature for that matter. Utterly irresponsible.
I got in serious problems Because of Anger wen I was younger, I don't like conflict at all super stress me out , but the funny part is I can create big chaos , wen I was 12 me and my cousins were playing and my little brother by accident closed the gate door and hurt my causing hand really bad he's fingers got crush by the door and broke he's fingers but it was and accident my little brother did not want to hurt hem , my cousin was crying there was so much chaos my uncle that he was 28 at the time I was 12 he came out with a slingshot and shot my little brother in the face mi little brother was like 10 at the time and I sow hem wen he point at my brother and shot hem I wen crazy on hem I hit hem with a rock in the head and send hem to the hospital , my uncles were on there 30's and they were afraid of a 12 year old of me, then I got in so much trouble with my Mom cause she always defended he's brothers and with my Dad cause they did not believe me he did it with bad intention it was not and accident and my Uncles some of them are not good people they are delinquents , till this day I don't talk to them they think I hold a grudge forever, but that is so far from the true , the true is they don't exist in my head, and I will never think of them unless something remains me of them and I remove that something if is and object for example, if is people they can remind me is ok, ( example I look at my little brother and I see the mark he has on his face because of my uncle ) and is ok it dose not upset me with anger that's on the pass, but if some one connects me with people I don't want to be with, in other words brings people to my life I don't want in my life , I will stay away from that person for ever, I feel I have grow a lot on controlling anger , and I have grow and not giving people power to border me, now wen it comes to relationships , one of the first things I tell my girl friend is , that wen I'm mad I don't talk and that please allow me to be alone and I will always come back wen im not angry , I don't have anger issues with my relationships cause I aways run away lol ( or I guess thats and issue but I rather do that then say something mean ) and I always tell my self don't say nothing wen you are angry cause I know what I can do with my mouth, so it has work for me and has not at the same time , because if im bother about something I run away, then wen im not angry I come back but still don't talk about it, cause I don't want to be in this conflict, im just like nothing ever happen, and of course I talk and communicate but wen it gets to the point of argument screaming at each other I just stay away from that, so for example I can't be with some one that is mad and just has to keep on arguing and won't let me run away lol becase then I will end up saying something really bad, but I got good with time on not putting my self ever in toxic relationships , and I try to be aware of my self so Im also not a toxic person for others, and I try to be a better version of my self every day,
In your opinion, do you think it is unnatural for an INFJ to like Se (not in the sense of preferring to use it, but appreciating it as it is). Although lately I think this implies some scary implications for myself for liking it as of late, hopefully, it isn't something horrible in the future. I believe according Jung, it is good to express one's own anger, because if they didn't then they will be consumed by the emotions that dwell deep inside them, and will be controlled by it
one channel described the different personality types in mythical creatures....INFJ=Mermaid;
alone & protective in our cove, allowing few if anyone in, afraid of our own destructive nature...hating on humans but wanting love with one...🙃😍
That's an interesting image, thanks for sharing Correanne :)
That weather talk...do you do that on purpose?😂😡 I’m too forgiving, let disappointments and frustrations build up for too long, and when it becomes too much, I explode like a volcano. Stress, lack of sleep and loud noise, in that case: stay away from me: The smallest thing will be the straw...
Those are my triggers too. Then of course, there are many "stress triggers" on its own too.
TheAwakenedINFJ The above triggers are merely an example of what I am currently dealing with. I am in an environment that is detrimental to my health and overall wellbeing. I am constantly triggered by noisy neighbors that have zero respect for mother nature, don’t understand the value and necessity of silence, and are excessively noisy 24x7. I am currently selling my belongings and I’ll be on the move to ‘destination unknown’ asap.
@@thewoundedhealer4950 Wow, sounds a lot like my situation.. In all regards. Sadly those neighbors' also include my family members. So much toxicity, without most people even knowing it, what they project and how reckless they are with themselves, and thus others, and nature at large. This thing with nature and animals.. Young children.. Don't even get me started on that one. Massive trigger still, even after some rather consistent meditative practice and a massive "pursuit" for getting well and balanced again.
It sure is hard, when the external world projects mainly stress and corruption, from a societal to a individual level.
Destination unknown, yeah tell me about it. Same here. Just today it hit me so hard again after a conversation, forceful one, with one of the societal agencies of Sweden, intellectually crushed the guys soul with grace and honesty, facts, but yet I'll have to go about some forced trial in regards to how I'll sustain an income as I have been physically ill for a long time now, and of course, that is not "okay".
Noises.. Warm/Cold differences, people's projections ( at core always based on fear, insecurity, lack ) and well at least 15-20 things more that I could pick up on right now that highly disturbs my sense of peace, of being, in the world around me, and it has been going on in this stress-based place called Sweden ( and Western corrupted societies at large ) for too long, and I'm done with it.
I'm so close to just drop this life, dropping everything here to get to a more wholesome, ecological, life willing place where I can "be myself" and give value to others without all these mind created dilemmas that the deep state force upon us over time, they love their puppets, doing the dirty work unconsciously when the programming has kicked in from every angle over time.
Where do you live? How are you going about this situation, if you may? :)
Peace, stay true.
I’m from The Netherlands, but moved to Mexico almost 2 decades ago. My physical health has deteriorated rapidly over the past decade. Toxic homeowners, real estate agents and more. I used to run my own little dive operation but due to physical issues thanks to chronic stress for dealing with toxic people, I no longer can. Simultaneously, I also worked as a caretaker/property manager, looking after other peoples beach homes. Although it may sound ideal, apart from 1 homeonwer, all turned out toxic. The one that wasn’t, bought into the superficial charm of his contractor/realtor’s self-proclaimed professionalism and grandiosity and failed to recognize his faulty work I dutifully exposed. The homeowner had never met the self-proclaimed contractor/realtor, nor had he seen his work other than the pictures I sent and the words I wrote. Despite 5 years of dutiful labor and sincerity on my part, the homeowner failed to see and believed the lies and did not appreciate the truth. I’m so done with this greedy, dumb, selfish, narcissistic world we live in. I hope to find a place where there are likeminded people. Maybe a permaculture, or, I don’t know, but me and my dogs will soon be on the move.
door slam