My INFJ Dark Side (in 5 Traits)
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- čas přidán 27. 08. 2024
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I have a high tolerance for people who use me but give nothing back..but when I'm done....I'm completely done...no fighting or even explanations....I simply disappear from their lives
When I know someone is lying because I FEEL it....I don't call them on it but I make mental notes and remember to NOT get close to them
Spot on. The last point though, I would like to add something personal - I tend to project good personality traits on others. And I judge. However, it is not necessary to point out others' shortcomings. If a person breaks their promise or even betray my trust once, I will make a mental note. So next time I know I can not rely on them solely.And I lower my expectation accordingly. It is more like a self-defence mechanism, I guess. Or I am just too squishy and self-reliant.
Yes I do the same. This avoids getting to the point where I want to cut them out of my life completely I just accept them as they are and use this to avoid conflict and bad feeling against them.
I do the exact same thing, and am going through this now. The mental note about adjusting expectations is key... some need adjusting one way continuously. If you’re aware of it, you’ll save yourself much frustration and grief down the line.
I do the sameeee 🦋
Yes. I am also judgmental bc things can be challenging for us InFJ’s but being so self aware we see our flaws & work on them.
I get frustrated w others who haven’t arrived at their self awareness, some a lot older than me. Some ppl just don’t seem to care which can be more irritating.
I’m working on this too!
I'd love to hear your thoughts on infj anger and how to cope with it. I feel like anger in infjs is a kind of complicated issue since it's all built up inside until you finally allow yourself to express it and then it's like...an explotion. It's really affecting me rn and I was wondering how other infjs felt. Anyway...love your videos keep being great ❤
Lu Lanz This is definitely relatable as a fellow INFJ, unfortunately. I’d actually say that’s the nature of my dark side (shadow Se). I can be scary (both to myself and others) when I am angry, since I am usually a very calming person, and I almost become a completely different person in those times. It would be interesting to see Ren’s take on INFJ anger, if he is up to doing so. I know I wouldn’t want to talk about it. 😶
Lu Lanz me too. My anger scares others as well as myself .
My step daughters saw mine and they hadn’t before. They are adults but they practically got the vapors. Their response was pretty awful considering they were stepping hard on my toes so to speak-not their own. I apologized for the level of my response. I couldn’t possibly go farther. I’ve got two buttons-they pushed one of them. They might never again see it in their lifetimes. I did it once with my sister in law after 19 years of biting my tongue. It’s wicked for sure.
Everything you said is true for me too. I laughed at the OCD. We get distracted by mundane things. Something that you didn't mention regarding the Infj darkside is our struggle to communicate and confront people. That's my biggest flaw. We are afraid to tell people what we really think. We don't want to hurt or offend anyone. But we do judge people! I recently discovered, I have all these bad thoughts about the people close to me. I could be complimenting them to their face, then talking behind their backs. So I recently tried expressing my honest thoughts and their reactions were wonderful! "You have made me the happiest. I needed to hear this." And so on. Besides, when we judge but don't communicate, we are assuming things about people without understanding them. If you, gently, hint about something like ask someone if they think they are arrogant, you will get back actual feedback and realize, you didn't know the person at all.
The other major flaw is confrontation. Like when we have an issue with someone but we don't bring it up cause we think "I have a problem with it, I just need to suck it up." We just suppress it and get increasingly frustrated until we blow up. Well, if you point these things out early to people, they honestly won't mind and you can laugh about it.
Personally I don’t have a problem confronting people. I do try and avoid confrontation but if I have an issue with someone I will discuss it with them. I don’t come at them aggressively unless they give me that energy then I’ll give it back. never really say anything behind people’s back I haven’t said to their face. I have been told I don’t have a filter but i don’t try to be mean I just say the truth 🤷🏽♂️
I can relate to these traits so much. Especially the holding a grudge without an apology. I can hold one forever. Thanks again!
Yes Leigh, I can be ridiculous and frankly infantile about grudges. Then again,
there are times when I let an affront go without a second thought. Clearly some
honest reflection on "the metaphysical mechanics" of these interactions is in
order. Perhaps it's just that forgiveness has more to do with our ability to
empathize then the severity of the offense. I'm 68 yrs. old, and am still engaged
in this struggle constantly.
This is super relatable!
Especially your last point, in not having any patience for people with a victim mentality. It is so self-defeating and frankly, off-putting.
I also present myself as more easy- going and open minded than I actually am. I'm polite and try to avoid being pushy (yuck) but that doesn't mean that I'm not passionate and dogmatic.
Great video!
Thanks!
Ahhh you named your cat Hazelnut that's ADORABLE
She is adorable ^.^
Hazelnut. Love it. Ocd, yup, many of us are
Omg I swear I was the only one!!! So glad u said this because I always find a way to not say I disagree its hard
My ability to disassociate can be a problem as I get lost in my thoughts when the world is going on around me but this has become a lot more common with smartphones being the norm. I'm not good at my Se and my Te is weak but when I am passionate about something I put in the effort I just tend to leave things to the last minute.
Judgement...If you break my moral codes you will be placed in my mind's sin bin until such time as you show efforts to improve. This means I will show some detachment to assess how I feel about what you're doing/not doing.It sounds so self righteous of me but my essence are those codes of conduct I uphold. The negative energy I get if they are stepped on forces me to separate to protect my position. I found when I had children I had to adopt a child friendly version of my moral codes and belief system lol. Children are our greatest test of patience and understanding. They are a massive test to the infj. Looking forward to hearing how you find raising the little Rens if that is a desire of yours. I will be here for you with my survival mechanisms, especially how to cope with sensitivity to external stimuli. Parenting is like a minefield to the infj but also a paradise:) they teach us and we nurture them.
As an INFJ mother, I thoroughly enjoyed my children as I raised them. They kept in check my tendency to get lost in thought (carried away, more like). They gave me infinite new ways to look at life, the universe, and everything. And we held some fascinatingly random philosophical discussions throughout their childhoods. We're on very good terms even now-- they're adults with children of their own. I'm enjoying my grandchildren & offering them lots of opportunities to engage their creativity and curiosity. I was born for this stuff!
I’ve watched a few of your videos of late. I’m trying to figure out whether I’m an INFJ or an INFP.
One thing I’ve noticed is how emotionally mature you are in communicating your feelings. This is the second video I’ve seen you talk about how you’ve told your dad you need a little space. I would like to try to do that more. My default is to keep quiet until I get resentful and blow up. Anyway, I just wanted to compliment you and thank you for modeling good behaviour lol I want to consciously try to implement that in my life
I agree with my husband all the time because I can see where he is coming from on topics but when he finds out the full truth later, he doesn't like it lol.. Unfortunately, can't help it cus we infjs tend to look at things from the other person's perspective and also really can't stand conflict.
This video resonates with me. I think I'm unforgiving and judgmental too. Especially if all someone wants is a pity party, or just totally buys into their own limiting beliefs. I only had 1/3 of a chance of getting out of the wheelchair. But I learned how to walk again. If I can do that, I'm always thinking what was your excuse again?
Most of your DARKER SIDES i AM VERY familiar with. Scary to see the overlap......I can be VERY unforgiving . If someone intentionally tries to Hurt me OR my partner. Especially when they try to bullly me OR anyone else for that matter, OR if they try to put someone down. I won,t tolerate that. That can and Will make me Furious. I Will protect him immediately.....I AM sure these are the remenants of prolonged bullying as a boy back then,.....I AM not easily impatient with others......Hugz Hans......
When I disagree with something someone's saying I usually just say "Maybe yeah..." and hope they just go with it.
I can relate to a lot of this, but particularly your point around 6:08 in the video. I have a very hard time getting it right between conveying my views completely and clearly and being tactful, and like you, it is not because I deceive, but because I am circumspect where disagreement might lie. I think this is connected to why some find me to be enigmatic, even annoyingly so.
Really related to the five you mentioned. Especially the grudges. Had a few for years that I let go a year or so ago.
Also related to the moral compass and expectations of others trait. I sometimes forget not everyone operates with a similar moral compass. It can be disappointing when others don't meet those expectations as well. Toughest one for me now. Desire harmony and close friendships and relationships. But have to keep that in check to make it work. Perhaps INFJ don't have a monopoly on that issue but it pops up enough b/c im rarely on the same wavelength with enough people.
Hi Ren, I am an I NFJ and apparently have a bit of OCD as well, because I couldn't focus after you closed the door and didn't close it completely. Ha ha ha. Love your videos.
Haha, thanks man!
To do with the last point: I think it's because we have such high standards and I personally don't think that's a bad thing. It's highly frustrating to be around people who complain about things that could be easily solved yet when you suggest things to them they flat point don't want to better themselves. That's when you realise that they don't want better they just want to complain. I think as an infj we work so hard to avoid problems this kind of situation is soooo hard for us to deal with continuously. For me it makes me want to avoid people altogether and usually that's when I sink into my cave and don't want to come out. Like now. I don't want to make any bonds with people because I feel damaged by negative behaviour of others. Wanting to help people and being rejected or exploited is very painful.
My INFJ dark traits are:
1. I get paranoid about my girlfriend cheating on me.
2. Manipulation .
3. Performance anxiety. I hate giving others a bad experience.
4. Masking. When masking, you're not being genuine, imo.
5. People pleasing/Resentment. Whether others are giving back or just taking from you, you start to resent them regardless.
I've been looking deeply into myself for the past few years, and to hear you speak these traits rather struck at my heart in an unexpected way. (Though the OCD is not quite so strong, but I have HSP in its place!)
This resonates with me, and it makes me feel a sort of comfort to know I'm not the only one facing these things. Thank you for putting yourself out there like this - it's very helpful for giving me perspective on my personal growth!!
As I mature, I notice people love conviction. Everyone does. So I think when we choose our friends wisely, we can agree to disagree. It makes the world more colourful. I don't need no "safe space'. I also appreciate other's convictions and are not blown by the wind with every fad or doctrine. As I've now matured, I've learnt how to be agreeable without necessarily agreeing. But ja, identified with everything you've said. Family can be a challenge - there, I admit, say little to nothing and nod your head!
Lol you sound South African?
This very much applies to my personality as well. Thanks for your openness and vulnerability. One thing I will add is that I tend to have expectations. It kind of goes with your point of taking/needing time to climatize. Usually I have a vision of how life’s experiences should be. For example, at a coffee date, you first show up and meet the person then you order a drink. Then you begin a conversation and ask each other questions. If that order of things gets changed or disrupted, I have a hard time accepting it and moving on. It’s almost like I need to take time to validate and accept the change. Then the holding grudges comes in to that and it doesnt go well as you mentioned. That’s why I really appreciate how your videos are long enough to take time for thinking to happen.
Okay, damn, it is probably OCD I'm dealing with too haha.. It's quite intense, and can be both of external objects and circumstance, but think it is mainly "in my head", the non physical stuff. Never went about trying to explain or pin point anything about it, just mentioned possibly once or so.
These things about distractions, it's really my "biggest issue" in life. So many things can "irritate" me and get me out of flow, even some sense of relaxation or ease.
"HSP" surely fits me, was crazy how profound it was when I came across MBTI/INFJ the first time and very close to it also the HSP-thing, after that I started to really begin to make sense out of things from my experience that never made any sense whatsoever, and no external world to confirm, mirror or understand anything at all that was "the real me", now when I think about it!
Just a quick thought came up. Do you think it is plausible that Ennea 4s and 5s can be of.. "Higher risk", having things like OCD and certain types of anxiety, perhaps even long lingering PTSD and such? It's so .. "individualistic", so heady and "different" to be a 4 or 5, in my little understanding at least, and combining that with the traits of an INFJ and with the external world in general in western societies, I believe it is almost HARD to be actually "healthy" and wholesome. At least not "naturally", but rather having to learn life and oneself the hard way, or something.
9.28, okay I probably do possess that of pride as well then, just in the same type of context too.
And damn man, there is basically nothing I don't "agree" with in the video, from my own little experience. Wow.
I feel like I relate to this video more than any other INfj videos. Maybe I focus too much on my flaws but I find this shocking because of how accurate this is
Unrelated, but I’ve watched a lot of your videos and I love the “hi everyone!”, you do at the start. Really makes me day.
Thank you Trish, I am really happy to hear that! ^.^
Do all INFJ’s have OCD tendencies? I am the same way Ren.
I think it’s quite common, especially when we are in the Se grip.
Being too non-specifically agreeable has gotten me in trouble many times. I know it usually
comes from a fear that I'll be a disappointment, or a response to feeling real or imagined
pressure to go along. Or not having a clear sense of where or why the pressure is being
applied.There have also been times when I've known why I'm being manipulated, but
choose to allow it for fear of rocking the boat or being the receiver of a narcissistic
backlash or confrontation. This is especially true with those close to me.
So it really comes down to fear or neurosis...and yes, cowardice. And is definitely a trait we should all be discussing and working on.
Interestingly, this problem is much more prominent with verbal interactions. I must write contracts for my contracting work, and I'm very careful to spell out every detail before
any signatures.
I loved this. I can be judgmental as well (INFJ)and the way I try to improve is to remind myself that the whole point of our study of the MBTI is that people are different.
Soo, after point one I paused the video for a long time to reflect on how I felt about that! :) But it definitely rings true for me, taking a relatively long time to become acclimated to a new idea, then, once I have "assimilated" enough into my existing paradigm, I rapidly progress towards acceptance. I'm not sure that's part of my "dark side", but it is a "weird" thing about how I process new information. I guess I like to see how things are likely to play out before coming to a firm (yet always negotiable!) conclusion. It's also a healthy hesitancy about committing too fully to a given situation; it balances out my tendency to overly idealize people, ideas, etc. I still struggle with the tendency to give people too much credit, which often leaves me wanting to then blame either them, myself or both when they fail to meet my ideal standards. So, I feel it's actually a good thing to let things simmer for a long time...and that can be hard, because I can be quite impatient when I feel stressed...and as an HSP it is easy to become stressed!
ugh
At the gym people leave the lockers open after they leave. I shut them all in my vicinity. Same with the doors not fully closed but close.
On your second point: I also tend to find commonalities between myself and others that we can agree on; I see it as a shortcut to connecting with another person, and making the necessary interaction more pleasant on both sides.
But I also realize that I, too, become "disillusioned" when I depend too much on others' approval in social interactions; I sometimes project having too much in common with another person. I have to remind myself not to read too much into a given situation. Sometimes when I engage with others, I come off as very friendly/warm, when I should actually be a bit more reserved. It's a learning curve, for sure.
Too agreeable at times, definitely.It's a tendency that comes up at certain points in my life.
I've deeply and seriously related to everything you've said in every INFJ video of yours that I've watched so far. This is helping me to understand myself so much, thank you.
Very glad to hear that :)
Yeah.. as INFJ I have those dark sides too! Thanks a lot for sharing :) Funny how these functions make up what we took to be our unique personality.. Besides: you might want to look more into the shadow functions. I believe the Fi critic is a large part of the reason for the dark sides you describe. Furthermore I think that for the individuation process to succeed it will be crucial to integrate our understanding of the interplay of all 8 functions :)
Your body seems so tense. I hope you discover Yoga and your soul and descend a bit from your mind and then all the INFJ thing will be such a revelation to you without the needed analysis at a mind level. In my opinion, INFJ is all about learning to feel, trust the intuition and acknowledge why we do extraverted feeling (usually trauma and the body stuck in a hypervigilance mode). I dont think we are born INFJ, I believe we are made that. I hope you will realize what made you an INFJ and navigate easily through that. Yes, I believe we have core characteristics we are born with, like intuition, but the rest are just formed in the environment we grow up. Thank you for your videos, they are great from an intellectual perspective, but...
Now I know I’m really normal
hahahahaha lmao Hazelnut X'D
What if you'd make a funny Hazelnut snaps & bloopers video with all her moments in the videos, so far XD.
☆☆☆☆☆☆
interesting video. I'm learning from what you are saying. :)
You're right, I should make a Hazelnut video special at some point! ;) Hope you are well, Lise.
@@RensRoom haha yeah it would be funny XD.
I'm doing good, thank you for asking! Been working on some ni-inner work as well as some ni art ♡. It's fun! (art as a hobby tho)
instagram.com/thisisilsevandalen/?hl=en
you can check it out on instagram :D.
I admire how you can talk about your inner working so well. For me, I'm taking small steps, and write little poetry scribbles or make little notes of insights, sing, art to learn to express the ni work/discoveries/experience.
:D Looking forward to your next videos!
Oh Sorry Ren i forgot this important one!!! When it Comes to really deep views in LIFE OR topics so to speak. IT is USELESS to try to convince me OTHERWISE. But I always patiently listen to their comment and arguments, but uptill now IT never turned me around. I don,t regret that at all. .....
The door part.. I screamed 🤣 that's the perfect place, closed enough to not see through the gap yet I can hear people yet the cat can get in 🖤
I am shocked found someone who describes me especially the part of keeping grudges...i struggle alot with that and if i will forgive i will not want anything to do with the person once you break my trust we are done for good...
Permanent/Near-permanent grudges-- yeah.....
I just discuss with my friend about this unforgiveness. I believe that i feel when someone apologizes sincerely and when not. And unless i feel that thing that assures me that that person assumes his faillures and is dispossed to accept openly it, i can't forgive them. I know that it's some kind of projection of my own expectations about me and my actions. There are some people that can't separate thinking from doing, like babies, his intention goes by the hand of the action. And i'm the opposite, i think too much abut the intention that i don't act. And when i see someone deliberately doing things that they can' avoid and doesn't apologize from the heart, it really bugs me
Comment on:My INFJ dark side
I agree totally. It's an INFJ thing actually. For one trying to type themself, it's very clear they know what they are in the MBTI ladder and awakens a driving motivation in them to search independently for more constructive detail to finalise the self analogy
I'm truly not sure if this is entirely an infj dark side, I guess for me, because I was developed in New York and a cultural background that differed in contrast, sweeping difficulty under the rug felt inauthentic, my place of development encouraged me to express myself, yet ancestors dictated otherwise 😉
My INFJ-T dark side is like a chain of endless weaknesses. Because of my extremely high expectations (from self and others) I become very judgemental, which almost always leads to resentment. These grudges (more or less justified) trigger the door slamming and my complete emotional detachment. I think I might have gradually turned myself from an anxious-avoidant attachment into a dismissive-avoidant attachment style through the years, in order to protect others from my oddities... When people continue to challenge/bully me I become quite ferocious and I ruthlessly attack their insecurities. My words can turn into deadly swords. Then, when I realise that I inflicted too much pain I become deeply remorseful and acknowledge my malignity. I can be extremely passionate and I sincerely hate this side of my personality because it somehow clashes with my aversion to conflict, which is quite a paradox, if you ask me. Then I get immersed in my obsessive-compulsive tendencies, self-loathing, followed by an almighty pity party, and, finally, depression takes over. Being an INFJ sucks!
@@annaandrea8320 that's the classic, crippling depression i know right there anna, know it well but the effect weakens once you get more used to it, "the black dog" remains with you once it's got you, but there's certainly methods to keep it further behind you. I say, "this is never it." Regardless of whether or not one is willing to change their situation or not, something or someone will always get in the road of the present moment, and that's what matters most. Accepting life is ever changing for better or worse is a great ticket away from stagnation mate. :) trying to help another, (who really wants to be helped mind you) even in some small way helps me out of another hole. It builds my character and blows away my guilt. It's so easy to see someone in struggles when you've been there eh. Always do this stuff in person in the real world where this tech can't block true communication. Much pain and misunderstanding comes out of messaging. First youtube message for me as it happens, hope it helps Anna, and pass the good onward when you feel one needs it.
Closing the door, hahaha!
Too agreeable for my own good, yes. And yet unforgiving past a certain point. Thank you for showing this perspective of us, it's true.
Number 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my gosh. This is me. I NEVER lie but if I can affirm even a tiny bit of the GARBAGE someone says, I do for diplomacy’s sake. Usually I feel the need to do that because inwardly I’m disagreeing/judging them so hard and I’m worried that will come out. But yeah, that can make me look dishonest or manipulative, and it really isn’t! Straightforward disagreement is something I need to work on.
Your cat's name being Hazelnut is the cutest thing for some reason :)
Some of my instructors are/were unaccustomed with this denseness I require to learn new stuff. My mother when she was teaching me how to iron my clothes couldn't stand how many questions I had: "Why this piece before that piece?" "Why do you need that amount of water?". She was just standing there like: "Just do it man".
She is ISFJ I think, probably her Si clashing with my Ni.
Currently experiencing something similar with my driving license instructor :-D.
Spot. On.
10:37 The unforgiving nature : sometimes i forgive people but unfortunately my Ni-Ti comes and makes me revive all what they did (and also some hypothetical futur scenarios) and becoming mad to them again 🤣
It's very hard for me to get a grudge towards someone. Though, it does happen, just slowly. I have a stepmom and she's a good person, I know that, but her personality just seem to clash with mine and I'm not sure why (she's an ESFP if I remember correctly, I'm INFJ). I've lived with her for 9 years now, and it's first now I find it hard to be around her. She doesn't change her views very easily, and it's almost always something she got taught when she was young, therefore her saying is "That's what I got tought, so of course it's correct". It makes her seem very close-minded, but actually she's not. So we often view things differently and instead of listening to my point of view, she gets offended and takes what I say too personally.
For example; I've always had a hard time telling my true oppinion to people. Even when I was very young, around 5 years old. So I've never told what my true oppinion was, but what I thought she would like me to think. And it worked. However... I became older and was suddenly tired of living with always "agreeing" with her. So I began saying the truth... But she took offence every time I did and when I tried to state my oppinion, she refused to listen. And still do.
Now I'm sick of it. I do not know what to do and I feel... Idk. But I'm not 18 yet, so I can't move out, and at the same time I don't want to be 18. It comes with so much responsibility that I don't feel like I will ever be able to handle. But it's going to happen no matter what... (I'm 16)
Wow this is long, but you just somehow made me realize all this. Idk what to do with it, but it in some way makes me feel like I now know myself a little better.
Thank you so much! Great video, really loved it!
We sense when people are liars or dishonest. We might not seem to make sense but with time things end up showing as we started to feel it to begin with.
Their is no real limit to the gift, beings that have lived for tens of thousands of years, still linger and watch. What I advise men to do is spread love and light when it is possible. My ultimate goal is to stop the cannibalism in my city streets, I will succeed.
Had to laugh at the door. I don't shut it all the way either. I installed a cat door on it. I have 2 cats. They know the door is usually partially shut so they always first try to open the door before resorting to the cat door. Push and pull🤣. If I could only get them to shut it when they do🙄
Looking over the check list. . . Yup dad's an ENFJ😬.
I'd say those are just the dim side. In a video game sense, easy mode, dark side
which romantic type is best for an INFJ?
personally as an infj since i am very aware of my very strong intuition. I look at things from the perspective of the person i am reading emotionally. I think about situations or possibilities on how that specific person would react based on my basic knowledge of that person. i try to understand how they would feel emotionally as if i was legit that person. I think my dark side of my personality is that it is very easy to manipulate people emotions and how you want them to react or do. Sometimes its to the point where manipulating becomes very easy to do its almost scary. Its like i know what is going to happen before it happens. At first i would know how to use my strong sense of intuition for the benefit of others and the people around me but personally the unknown greatly intrigues me. i ask myself If i know how to use my intuition for good but sometimes wonder how it would be like to control somebody else for my benefit. I dont like dwelling with this dark conciousness of my self. I strong believe that there is always the other side of a coin. What i like to say is there is always a price to pay. Personally i dont like to tell people how old i am due to me being very young in my years and people immedietly putting my knowledge to the side because of the old saying the old tend to be wiser than the young. But my mindset continually grows rapidly everyday but my goal is to have a mindset that is of a king. There could only be one king. As an "in the making" king mindset i have i believe i should use my gifts to benefit the people. A king understands the un understandable for that is what sets him apart
Only an INFJ would contemplate their dark side while walking on a beautiful beach. I totally get that.
Bang on !!
Lol I am sure she has noticed. The more time you spend together the more things "bug" you. After 20 years the cute quirks will drive you crazy lol but love is blind & conquers all.
I think INFJ and surely INTJ too, we have many paradoxes or contradictions.
_Seems we need all the informations or maximum or enough informations, before to take a decision, and once we decided it it's very focus and narrow, deep into it.
Surely the normal using of Ni.
_Maybe we don't want to show we disagree to keep harmony. Because of that, people don't know what we likes, what are our passion, what are our values, that we have not our own oponions. Because of this don't want hurt people, keep harmony INFJ thing. Be agree to disagree.
_Unforgiving nature : things I will never forget, it's sad we can't remove theses bad memories even if we really want. Sadly It happen too for goods memories too.
Theses memories we will and can't never forget, printed, engraved in our minds.
Maybe we just cut the mind "connection" voluntary.
The problem is we will never tell to people, the reason why we are angry at them, and if we never tell them, they will never know it, they can't guess it. We do it uncoluntary, because it's just how our brain work, for the good and the bad.
The good : we don't want hurt people. But by cutting the connection, we let a situation into a "missunderstood mode" an unsolved situation.
_Want encourage people and in same time not, because I know certains people don't care, whereas us we really care of theses positiv things.
When I listen to you, though I think we are different in many ways, I always feel I can understand what you are saying and usually that you are describing me. I haven't been sure about whether I was actually INFJ because I once tested INFP, but the last test was INFJ, and with your videos, I am pretty sure the second test was accurate. It is interesting to hear my personality discussed. It provides me with some insights that are proving very useful even though I am in my later stages of development now as I become elderly. I wish there were more expert discussion about how personality type and the functions develop over time. What does and INFJ look like at 6, 12, 15, 25, 35, etc., and what factors both intrinsic and extrinsic affect it. I'm also curious about how to expect different personality types to react in different situations. For instance, how would a gay INFJ teen be predicted to react coming out and facing opposition and disapproval? How could that pressure from society, near and distant, be met by the INFJ and how would he or she be affected by it. This usually would occur around age 15. I didn't mean to ask this here, and this is a year-old video, but if you are monitoring responses coming in so late, I just want to commend you on your work and videos and maybe suggest this question of mine for for one of your discussions. Thank you for your work.
Really couldn’t say it better. That is me
Shit am I not an ENFP then!? I do the same thing (the part about agreeing within a certain scope). Like every point you just said is EXACTLY what I do. If I tested numerous times as an ENFP meaning secondary Fi then is it maybe an overall F thing ? That being said, my enfj cousin and entp brother (Fe) verbalize when they disagree. They are blunt about it too. Do you think that in the case an INFJ it’s because Fe is your connection to the external world so you’re forced to do what you said more than someone who isn’t double removed from the external world? It’s worth noting an INFJ friend of mine also does what you described.
I don’t expect you to have an answer it’s more of an out-loud thought. I think I had the wrong idea of the Fe function then. I get annoyed with both my ENTP brother and ENFJ cousin when they just project their unhappy/grumpy/negative emotions almost like they are a child with their emotions and don’t deal with them like adults. Does this make sense? This never bothered me with the INFJ’s that I know. But the ENFJ’s and ENTP’s in my life have rubbed me the wrong way with their “You made me feel this way and I’m gonna let you know it”. If someone or something angers them they are very rude in the way they respond even when it’s unwarranted (like if someone did something accidentally or unknowingly). I try not to do that , maybe it’s because I filter what my Fi is feeling through Te ? Help lol.
My dad has OCD tendencies too. I'm going to have to give some serious thought about why this is, before I can form a conclusion. Hmm. *thinking*
Just found yr channel recently. Do we ever meet Hazelnut?
Hey! You will soon, as I’m heading home for Christmas :)
This may be unwelcome, but just wondering how the yellow vest aka gilets jaunes protests really are perceived there. What is the impact? The media here won't report on it. Just curious.
Too agreeable yes because it's awkward in the moment when you can't sum up your complete opinion instantaneously as you need to consult your mind and get your most authentic complete answer.this can take dissection and time, so it would not be Justice to disagree and then later counteract if you have a hit that you are someway agreeable... It's better as you say to show provisional agreement then later, summarise in your mind the extent to which you agree.
sounds misleading alright. And as you say, it's leads us to feel the needs to try and explain our position when confronted about the mislead...and again, we need time to articulate the truth of our said mislead before we verbalise that even and before you know it, a year has passed by...joking:) we may over complicate what others can do so easily and timely.
I really can relate
Omg! All points describe me to a T! 👌🏽
Could cutting off people lightly/quickly be a dark side quality?
Holy damn, took you so long to get to the point. This is the first bad trait.