Biden Has the Most Dangerous Dog of All Time
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- čas přidán 4. 03. 2024
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Video Edited and Colored by Jacob Menache
Recorded at Helium Comedy Club in Portland, OR - Komedie
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Dude! Come to Chicago please!
Then after Chicago come down to Saint Louis!
You missed the chance to say one of them Bridges must go to terabithia
I will be at the DC show
Work that Portland having "organic crack" into a bit with Portland now offering "organic heroin"... that organic thing has legs either way.
I generally trust the judgement of dogs over people. Commander has his reasons.
Facts
Yep. And he lives among snakes in the grass! What else can be expected?😅
That's what I was thinking!
Most dogs don't bite people. Commander has behavioral issues.
Some dogs are friendly to everyone, others hate all strangers. It's not judgment about people, it's just temperament.
Yes there are cases when a friendly dog exercises judgment to protect its owner, but that isn't the case here.
Exactly.. Darkness is all in the white house and that administration
The president's dog is out here Biden everybody.
*badumm tsss*
😂 I see what you did 😏
That joke deserves more likes. Top tier dad joke right there
@@pridezilla1132 Much appreciated. God bless.
😂😂😂
I'm voting Commander for president. Then he gets to bite who he wants.
He definitely gets immunity
+
More competent than either candidate
yessir
And the First Lady’s cat for VP!
"Call my daddy old again"! Lol so funny
"you was talking all that good shd earlier" 😂
@@kennygwalk5328say it again😅😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
I’ve got a Belgian Malenois…He’s actually a gentle dog that likes to play. He’s been my service dog for ten years. A nurse stepped on his paw and he nipped her. I can’t bring him in to the VA anymore. He’s retired now though…he’s got cranky old man vibes. Dawg life!
Laugh plant. I can't unhear it. 😂
i hope the person with a deep grandmotherly chuckle in the audience is having a great day
Yes
My exact thought.
I liked her too
The absolute CACKLE
Roseanne Barr in the front row
Commander is probably just 100% pissed off because the secret service keeps letting Joe fall down!
Probably more pissed off that they let Joe hang around Commander nude, sexually harrassing it
Nah, Commander is angry because some of those goons supported chump on January 6th! He knows who the baddies are!
@@leoscheibelhut940If your dog bit more than a couple of people it would be taken away from you and put down and you would most likely have multiple lawsuits against you.
@@johnn.2017 If the president has the power to pardon a turkey every year, then the prez has the power to pardon a dog 100%.
@@adafrost6276to be fair the president isn’t pardoning turkeys convicted of battery or assault. He just picks a random turkey and says “you do not need to die.” Then tons of other turkeys are slain.
Commander has mostly only bitten secret service and after that insurrection, he might be on to something 👀
Yup
Didn’t one of his dogs have to be sent home for biting?
@ladyjaysindeore1113 Yes, Commander. That's what the video and the comment you're responding to are about.
@@Wolfgang8-Y I thought it had been a different dog that had been sent home. Wasn’t aware they let him return. My bad
@@ladyjaysindeore1113 that would be Major
Commander is a good boy! 😂
He can’t help it that the White House staff all seem like reasonable threats lol
Not the staff! He's pretty much only bitten Secret Service members. Just saying.
@@FiresCollide He must be able to tell that they're trying to pretend to be something they aren't
holy fuuuuk @@FiresCollide
Not his fault OR his problem. 😂😂😂
@@FiresCollide well they did fail to catch him falling down stairs multiple times, they are servicing no one
Sounds like they weren't respecting the chain of Commander.
🎯😄🤣
❤😂
All that taxpayer money spent on secret police when he got Commander 😂😂
frfr
Best defense ever.
Josh just MURDERED his first live Daily Show segment, I haven't heard the audience laugh that hard on any day that isn't a Monday. So proud of you, dude, can't wait to see you in the anchors' chair one day.
I love him on the Daily Show, too.
He’s killing it
He did well but come on.... calm down😂
When Jon is done doing his thing Josh would be a great permanent host for the show.
@@paulorganisation1 😑
"Call my daddy old again" 😂😂😂😂
I double dog dare you lol
xDDD omg no , but don't stop @@jackiesomoza58425t
I'm living for that lady's cackle!!!
I think she's the one at the end that exclamed, "THAT'S SO FUNNYYYY!" while cackling away LOL! She couldn't breathe LOL!
YES! I was about to comment how I love hearing quirky laughter that’s not just mine..
She has a “beer hall” laugh 😂 The kind of laugh you can hear ALL the way across the beer hall 🤣😂🤣
“Just get through it” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 God, my neighbors are gonna call the police on me for laughing so loud 😂
She sounds like Dulce Sloan!
I would just like to say that Commander only bites the Secret Service. That dog knows when dudes around his human are sus. Josh: "I'm sure they're very good at their jobs." Me: 😬
Iirc the going theory is that most of the Secret Service are Maga types because that's just what the job attracts, and Commander can tell that they REALLY hate Biden.
I believe the general message was "there are TWO 80yos in that building that those dogs are around constantly, and neither of them ever get knocked over by an overenthusiastic pup? That dog knows what it's doing and is completely intentional about it."
This is a very German Shephard thing too, bred into the line.
If an otherwise chill GS doesn't like someone, trust the dog not the person.
We only know about the attacks on Secret Service because someone filed a Freedom Of Information Act. The FOIA didn't cover anyone else that might've been attacked by that dog at Camp David, the White House staff, etc.
Secret Service are beefy guys with guns and a past career in uniform. I guarantee most of them are rooting for the other guy. Commander knows.
@@nosuchthingasshould4175 Yeeep. There's a reason why it was widely reported when he was elected that Biden didn't trust the old SS left over from Trump and installed his own trusted agents around him.
Commander got that presidential pardon 24 times
Josh is the only comedian I've come across that's both a great storyteller and also doesn't recycle material.
Every comic recycles. They work their bits over time. Jokes change and evolve because of it. You just don't see it because you're not looking for it.
Right... so many comedians... i watch their old videos.. and it is the same stuff they are doing now...
ALL comedians ‘recycle’ material. Do you think that they come up with a new act for every place they tour? 😄😄
@@debbylou5729 I mean, Josh Johnson is literally doing that. He has like 15 minutes of new material every week on this channel while he's out touring.
@KOVIK yeah, few people can pull it off without working a bit through for the sake of flow and cohesion. Duncan Trussel, Theo Von, Tim Dillon... they often throw away material for the sake of a funny podcast moment or a LoL over dinner with friends.
"One of those bridges gotta go to Narnia"
My mans don't know about Terabithia
I read that book in school 😭
I suspect he does. I wouldn't want to kill the vibe with Terabithia.
Been looking for this comment 😅
Yeah, but that bridge is on the other side of the city.
👏👏👏
"I have not been here long. All of Portland happened to me today." 😂😂
I moved here 15 years ago, and I'm realizing how desensitized I've become, but the first day I got here this is EXACTLY the feeling. I've sat in the weirdo stew for too long.
Dogs have a keen sense as to evil mofos lurking in the WH!
As a Portlander…I love my city, but I will admit…you’re right! We absolutely Keep It Weird!!! 😂😂😂
I believe you. Your profile pic is a vibe.
As another person from the area...yeah. I kind of miss it, honestly.
They should be biting Biden then
He bit the secret service members mostly, he's a rescue, I don't think they handled him properly
@@jennifercoleman6218 probably has issues with sudden unexpected movements, that can be a thing in rescues AND a thing in old dogs who's vision is going. I can imagine a secret service dude accidentally "sneaking up" and startling the old dog.
I'm with Commander. I think he's biting people who don't like Biden.
That's starting to include members of his own party.
So everybody?
Yea Biden gets a lot more hate than he deserves considering the mess he walked into 😊
@@COSjultrakay the US has been a mess ever since Raegan stepped into the white house with his "trickle down" economics.
Or bad people. I trust the dog. Lol
Everyone should be allowed to bite if a stranger tries to pet you. 😂
🙂😉😄😆🤣🤣
When I was pregnant Lordy knows I wanted to!
Mood….
@@JB-bm1toI might have. Those last 4 weeks are a blur
@@kathymisuraca5047 🤣🤣 I feel you sis!
I love Commander is pre-emptively protecting the Commander in Chief. That's some top tier dedication to your job.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
“Yea but you not always over there. Sometimes you over here and over here doesn’t have a bridge” 😂😩😂
🎯💯🤣🤣🤣🤣
It’s true - sometimes I don’t like the one side - so I drive to the other - I help keep Portland weird - lol
The suggestion that makes most sense to me is that Commander is very protective and the secret service has definitely got some people still on staff that are loyal to the former guy (see: the fact that all the secret service texts from 1/5 and 1/6 got deleted 'somehow') and Commander can tell what's what.
Ooo didn't know bout them texts 👀
he is only biting secret service personnel. that is a bit odd. if he was a reactive dog he would have bit other people on staff in WH.
@@sohininandi5742 Dogs can sense stress and anxiety. Secret Service is almost always on high alert because they have to be. My English Mastiff can sense my anxiety and whines/barks at me about it (which makes it worse 😂).
Dogs do read pictures (you know, the imagery in a person's mind) and may be sensing intention.
The dog knows the ss is full of ppl that aren’t protecting
Love the ladys lough, she was having a time
Yes! Almost sounds like Dulce, a hearty laugh
I thought it was Dulce! 😂
Right 😂😂. That would've been me too
I’ve been watching this young man for a decade or so, and he just keeps getting better and better and better! And he doesn’t really repeat himself.
❤❤❤❤❤
It's TRUE! It makes me sad when I like a particular comedian and when I try to look them up it's the same jokes in different settings. Josh just gives me the vibe that we're just co workers having a conversation on break or something 😅 The delivery just flows so naturally.
Has he been doin comedy that long?
He's like 24...
Yep, he doesn't repeat, but he does build on his own themes. Does anyone remember the bit about his friend's anxious emotional support dog that yelps like a human? I swear this man is playing 4 dimensional comedic chess.
@@kingdavid_esq he's 34 🌟
I’m convinced Commander is the reincarnation of either the raccoon that the Coolidge family had or Alice Roosevelt- back to cause chaos in the Whitehouse and live their best life
Bruh! 🤣🤣🫡 Iykyk
Let's be honest. It's prolly Alice
Rosemary Kennedy
You can tell that the city likes bridges, there is a picture of one behind him. 😂
"Its me, I'm your friend." That hits 😭
Commander is removing traitors and insurgents. 😂😂
Commander probably walk with his head high and teeth showing 😂
That’s right. Commander is Ten Toes Down for Biden. 😂
16 toes down? 😂
(dogs have 4 toes per paw)
@@TiggerIsMyCat I just Googled it. They have 5 “fingers” on each front paw and 4 “toes” on each rear paw. 🤣 Commander is 18 Toes Down. That’s what I call a Ride or Die….
@@merp9211 It depends on whether you count the dew claw as a toe. It is the remnant of the 5th toe, but I don't think I'd personally count it as one now. But it's debatable
@@TiggerIsMyCat That’s fair🤔🤷🏽♀️
Just my opinion, but I think Josh Johnson is the funniest man in America.
I think he is like a young Chapelle but funnier than Chapelle at that age. Love his comedy!
He's quite intelligent and good looking to boot!
Yes he is up and coming. Just don't put on the dress
@@blackhawk9113 or use the N word. He's funny without using it like too many of the other top black comics
and it’s not even close tbh
I feel like this is the perfect chance to remind everyone that the 3rd president or one of the first ones had a goat that killed a child on White House grounds and he just sent the goat back home.
There it killed 11 other goats, and at that point costing property, it was put down.
😵😵💫🤯🫥
@@sondraedwards5205😮
Was the goat's name...Black Phillip?!
😮
TR's children terrorizedthe cabinet with their pet snakes.
Alright, you convinced me. I’ll vote for Biden so Commander gets a redemption arc
🤣🤣
My thoughts exactly. Both candidates suck, but more commander stories are far better than what we had with the previous admin.
I like having groceries. 😬😬😬
@@MeanBeanComedy try being European then. Their rate of inflation is higher with a trump facsimile in office….
@@MeanBeanComedyblame the companies for price gouging because it’s not just here it’s everywhere
Finally a commander that takes a bite out of crime
That 1 lady having the time of her life. Same sis😭🙏🔥🇿🇦
Call my daddy old again is😊 definitely something a dog would say😂
Just made me like the dog more. 😂😂
I’m with you on the name. Remember the times when it was a dog named Bo or a cat named Socks? Non threatening animal names!
I was reading an article about Joe Biden once, a long time ago, and it mentioned "Commander Biden". I thought....when did Joe Biden serve in the military?...I don't remember him ever saying he served in the military. It hit me though, don't worry....I got it.
Side conversations with death 😂😂😂
Boy this man can make material out of ANYTHING!😂
OHMAHGAH the dead stare side step package adjustment "Call my daddy old agin..." This will haunt me in the best/worst most inappropriate situations moving forward. Bless you, Josh!
“You’re tryna block blessings” got me 😂
The bridge in the background 😂
12 bridges. Laughs in Pittsburghese😂
Ngl a little confused by this; he lives in nyc; 17 bridges and 4 tunnels to manhattan alone…
@@08ranaiuwhat’s the population of Portland?
@@GirmaKassa-ip7httouché
Commander is a RESCUE remember that! You never know what he went through BEFORE and i will say they SHOULD have put him through obedience classes
I loved listening to this crowd responding to you. Those folks sound fun!
Plot twist...dog is really Joe Bitin 😂
😂😂😂😂
👏👏👏
😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂 I can’t
Primo level dad joke 😂
Omg I can't wait! Josh is the ONLY person I'll turn notifications on for.
Same 😂
He's only one of 2 people for me LOL!
@@Taricuswho’s the other?
I was at this show, the KFC bit took the cake for me personally. Brought the house down. Great show Josh!
Someone's laugh sounds like Dulce's
I was there too. It was a great set!
I was in the second row for this show DIRECTLY next to the drunk guy with the cackling laugh. And behind the woman who kept raising her hand but Josh was fantastic. I’ll definitely get tickets when he comes back!
Since it seems he bites the secret service, I'm thinking Commander is a little jealous and feels he should be the one protecting the family.
"...yeah but sometimes you not over there... you over here"
*spits drink*
PFFttTT
He has the skill to hear his audience, to Pace his audience, to take the pulse of His listeners, and he RESPECTS his peers. He is truly a SUPER STAR in my ledger! Respectfully submitted for your consideration Gregg Oreo Long Beach CA Etats Unis
Imagine it comes out that everyone commander bit was part of a secret plot against biden 😂😂
Ill save this for 2 a.m. while I'm at work and need a laugh.
Did you not forget to watch this at 2AM?
@@HereGoesKevin did I remember to watch it?
@@CStuekey87yo update us man
Ooh. I am not the only one working the night shifts.😊
@@cashmoney2898 there are dozens of us! Dozens!
There’s one person in the crowd whose laugh is like mine, a hyena laugh, and it’s got me cackling almost as much as your jokes
Yessss😂They’re German shepherds; bred to protect. And there are men with guns approaching his human…although 24 times wow
Just 12 bridges? Come to Pittsburgh and find out how many we have lol. Could be called bridgeburgh 🤣😂
your bridges PALE in comparison, Portland bridges are works of art I EAT YOUR BRIDGES
"Call my Daddy old again!" I'm SCREAMING 😂😂😂😂
The same way you can train a dog to dial 911, I wonder if that dog can punch in the launch codes. 🤔
Justice for Commander!
Can we get Biden and Commander on The Dog Whisperer? I want to see that episode!!😂
I'd totally watch this! 😂
That's what I'm sayin'!
That one lady is having the TONE OF HER LIFE!!!! 😂😂
Josh is a legend in the making
Check out the number of bridges Pittsburgh has..... they have 446. the most bridges in the world. Organic crack LOL
Hey now, only like 28 of them cross the rivers 😆
Your bridges suck. Portland bridges are supreme. Your guys studied our bridges to make your. (Lighthearted)
LOL I don't even live there, another comedian did a bit about it when he was in Pittsburg. I think there are only a few bridges where I live.@@Bernie_is_eepy
That organic Crack joke took me completely out 😂😂😂
German Shepherds are well trained and disciplined. There's more to this. There is a "Wallace" asking for it.
They're well trained if you train them. They're not born that way, that's why so many of them are found in shelters-before Game of Thrones made huskies popular, pit bull mix and german shepherd were the most common. Also, a lot of them are prone to invisible but painful diseases like hip dysplasia, arthritis, degenerative myelitis, and get more angry and bitey because they're in pain and don't want strangers anywhere near them
@@lixinxin was wondering who trained Biden's more recent dogs. can't imagine the president has the time to do it himself. in theory, it should be easy to train a German shepherd to tolerate these numerous and constantly changing secret service men around his master. but someone has to do it.
Clearly Commander isn't well trained or disciplined. My pitbull would have been euthanized after the second bite.
Yes. Animals are NOT dumb.
Wallace was the main shit talker 😅😅😅
So glad we got to see you in person at this show! You’re so prolific with your work. It’s AMAZING how many news stories you turn into material so quickly, then post it, and move on to more relevant new stuff every week.
💪🤓👍
It sounds like Dulce is in the audience 😂 Someone with a great laugh is having the time of her life! This is a great show & the joyous laughs make it even more fun. Thanks for a fun time, it’s a great way to recover from a crappy day. Grateful❤
You're doing such a GREAT job Sir . Thank you for your time and your talent. Laughter heals . 🇺🇸👍
"Organic Crack" took me alllll the way out!!🤣😭🤣
My cackling at "organic crack" scared my mutt from deadass asleep to Secret Service Dog 💀
That woman laughing was hilarious 😂
Commander only biting the ppl who shudnt be there 😂😂😂. He can smell the bull
I stand with Commander 😂
Commander should absolutely be given honorary secret service status. Think of how the situations read from his perspective. He sees all these guards eye-balling his dad to an unusual level and acting nervous.
I thought maybe he just doesn't like guns. 😅 Or people carrying them who look shady and have a habit of following his owner arround everywhere he goes...😅😂
I'm with you. The dog knows who is a bad person.
Are you 12 or something? Dogs can be totally crazy if they arent trained well. Dogs have biten babies to death, so they do not know inherently whos good and bad. Biden is a puppet to the real bad people anyway. No need to bite him.
"Call my daddy old again" is my favorite bit in the whole thing lmao
Also, I don't know if it's rude to relate to another comic, but might I suggest doing a bit with Ben Brainard about the whole 'did you know know Pittsburgh has more bridges than Venice' thing
Re: Commander - That Josh can talk this long about something this small is part of what makes him so talented. And his comedic timing is absolutely priceless 👌
ETA: "Organic crack" caught me totally by surprise 💀
I'm dead --- the only city that might have organic cr8ck 😂😂😂
Duuuuuuuuuuuude. You fantastic. Taking over the scene for very many & very many greats about too / may be in need of retiring. You lock in on some great and subtle and killer insights...near in real time. Your timing & also social timing with delivery etc is just forever listenable, fun, funny and great. Thank you.
Hope to see you in April 2025
2024 .. yet, 2025 is still cool
@@silentdecaythat Shawn you knew when comedy is good when people time travel just to rewatch it.
I'm so bummed that I missed your show. I had surgery on 2/15 & was still recovering when you were in Portland. Still not 100%.
I'm a self described hermit, but I would have left my nerd cave to see you perform. Hope to catch the next show because you're always excellent✨️ 👏
I hope your recovery has been speedy and uneventful so you can heal much faster 💜
@AmandaInMourning thank you 🫂
All. Of. Portland. Happen. Today. 😂
11:45 Bridge to Terabithia was right there...
Congrats to Josh on the Daily Show gig!
I don't live in the US - I hope they put it on YT!
Wait till this guy sees Pittsburgh, good lord.
"You know what this needs?"
"Don't..."
"A bridge!"
Your commander impression just made me see you in a whole new light. Such range.
The face acting...I can't stand it🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Commenting on this , far in advance, shows the world that even time travelers get messed up by daylight savings time and this needs to stop.
“I didn’t do the reading” such an honest approach 😂
Ooh pre-commenting on a video I haven't seen but know will make me chuckle 🤭
The bridge you are referring to, Josh - it’s the Bridge to Terabithia. To get to Narnia, you must find the hidden closet in the back of a vegan restaurant.
Congrats on getting the Daily Show job! Happy to see your talent get recognition. With your personality and work ethic you deserve it.
Commander: " call my daddy old again"...🤣🤣🤣🤣💯
I was at this show, and I can't wait to be at your next one here in December. Portland appreciates you and your take on things.
Commander biting everyone who was talking about Biden he standing on business for his owner…..😂😂😂😂
What’s funny is Biden has always been like that, I love how kids (including my own) think he’s just so old he’s losing it bc of age. Most people know he stuttered terribly as a kid. And I’m getting up there in age (well.. the president is still 30 years older than me lol) I remember being in my 20s and he was the head of a committee and I thought …”This guy is never going to be president “ (Hamilton reference intentional ) ..😂
My Morning tea is on the floor now thank you 😂😂😂 Dont pull back on me !! 😂😂😂😂
Organic crack. Cracked me up.. pun intended. Very funny 😂😂😂 love you. Peace and joy to ya’all. You are the best