Rest in peace Felicia. My miracle, given everything

19.10.2017. Even if you know you had to let her go one day, you can never prepare yourself for how it feels. My worst nightmare had to become reality. After I uploaded my last video, felicia had a colic attack again.The vet returned, given painkillers again, wondering how she would come through the night. This time I had faith in it, this time i thought stay positive, for her. But this time just this time everything i was always afraid of, has happened. Everything was wrong, she did not want to drink or eat anymore. She had so much pain. The vet said the only thing we could do for her is to release her from this pain. My heart broke into pieces, I saw it happening but I did not want to believe it. I was still hoping for the best, but the best thing in this situation was to let her go. She sleeped away so peacefull free from pain, in my arms. It was heartbreaking and i still cant explain what i had to go through but somehow, I knew it had to happen. Regardless of how much pain it does to me and how much I love her. I would rather enure this endless pain than to never have seen or never have known her. Because she gave me so much. The fact that she is no longer here will always cause me pain, but I never would have missed it, I never would have erased what we had together. because she made me to the person I am today. I'll forever be grateful for that. It does change my life forever and its not something I can 'get over'. The loss will become part of who I am but so will she. She will always stay with me in my heart. My miracle, given everything, you will always stay with me wherever you are.
I want to thankyou all for the endless support we have had, when she had to be operated, the recovery, when she had once again colic attacks, but also the beautiful times, you have believed in us till the last day. Thanks for everything

[@hkm5790]

OHH MY GOD.... THIS ISN'T TRUE... I AM LITERALLY CRYING....SHE WAS SUCH A STRONG MARE..... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.. THIS BREAKS MY HEART..
Sleep well felicia.. you deserve it. Stay strong!!she will always be in your heart❣

[@Deeem100]

I will stay strong for her, she will always stay with me ♥

[@lightning07-11]

I lost my paint mare that I rescued and nurses back to health that I picked out Feb 15, 2017

[@romanyrivertolstoy7322]

oh my goodness... I'm so, so sorry that you've had to go through this. I can't even put what I'm feeling right now into words, I was in the exact same situation a few months ago and I know how utterly crushing and heartbreaking and painful it is, there are no words that can describe it. I wish I could do something to help and comfort you but I know that in this kind of situation there is nothing that's of any use. I honestly don't know what to say, you've given her an amazing life and you fought so hard to help her but it seems it was just her time to go, no matter how heart breaking it is for you, you know that you've done the right thing

[@Deeem100]

romanyrivertolstoy I read your comment with tears in my eyes, all these sweet words it means a lot to me. Thankyou..💔

[@malinottenback9846]

This is so sad, you were perfect for each other.. I'm so so sorry.. ❤

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou 💔

[@joeh1963]

The feeling of losing a horse is life ending. It's losing a friend, a family member, a piece of yourself.
I would know for I have had to deal with this unbearable pain. The important thing is though that
you have lost someone, you must stay strong for not only yourself but for him/her. You must
remember that you will be in his/her heart no matter what and he/she will always be in yours. You
are brave. You are strong. You can fight for him/her. You did the right thing!

[@maxinevanrooyen4418]

IM CRYIN G😭😭😭😢 SHE WAS SUCH A WONDERFULL HORSE😭 REST IN PEACE SWEETHEART ♥️😭😢

[@katepretorius7630]

I just lost my horse and I watched this non crying even harder it's really hard to get over this but I know eventually you will one day and I know eventually I will and people it's hard to give up but when you give up on hope you give up on life said don't give up hope and just remember she's happy and that's would everyone said to me and I can't do that right now and it's very hard

[@ToriShrum]

This made me cry because it reminded me of my horse that passed away 12/26/23

[@kirsten_and_hugo2847]

All horse owners will have to go through this RIP

[@lexivandermerwe7001]

Yes

[@lexivandermerwe7001]

Its hard

[@171Hunterjumper]

Mijn hart gaat uit naar jou

[@Deeem100]

Super lief, dat zal ze zeker altijd blijven..

[@Trinity_Rocky24]

It's always our loved one, the ones that we care the most for. I lost my horse and just a few months ago i lost my cat. Im trying to stay stronge and think that he is ok. I am so sorry for your loss. I know that feeling.

[@angelbonnett3978]

I watched this thinking of my cat max who hasn't came back lately

[@angelbonnett3978]

And my mare who will be 14-15 this year

[@horse_lonely_girl3399]

She will always be in your heart she is an amazing horse

[@Deeem100]

Horse_Lonely_Girl Thankyou. She will always be in my ❤️ with me

[@hannedecuijper9863]

I know this is a long time ago but I know It will still be a soft spot. But I lost my 1st horse Orlando just the best gelding you could ever wish for. Also by a colic attack it was one of the agressive kinds. We did everything to do to save him but it was to late we where there to late. We could do an Operation but we knew he wouldn't make it out alive. He was already old (29) but still had a raging fire inside of him. we jumped 90, galloped true the forest, did little tricks together and at the end I din't want to say goodbye but he made me change my mind. He layed down by my feed and nuzzled his head on my feet and just 1 look, 1 touch made me say "It's really time isn't it?" I let him go on the 21st of October 2020 at 11:47 am. I'm still heartbroken t'ill this day but I have now trown myself on my new horse Batuta who I saved from her abusive place. She was skinny, not trained properly, traumatized, scared. But behind that those scared eyes I saw a sweet, curious mare who wanted to learn and trust people again. She is here with me for only 1 month now but she has made alot of progress she's gaining weight, trusting me, less scared of her halter... and the best of all she knows she can act like a horse here! :)

[@Kristyx-dh3sn]

Lots of love for you. Such an emotional and beutiful video 💚.

[@emilyslifexox5310]

This made me cry so much there will always be a whole in your heart for that 1 special felicia

[@eiry25]

So beautiful, huge huge hugs. You gave her a lovely life and I'm sure she knew how much she was loved. Rest in peace Felicia xx

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou so much..

[@MarteRasmussen]

Oh no!! I'm crying, it's so sad!! You two were perfect, I'm so so sorry

[@michellechapman6036]

I am so unbelievably sorry for your loss ❤️🐴

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou..

[@hesteyrihorses1958]

So sorry for your loss, this video was beautiful and devastating. Thoughts are with you, what a beautiful mare.

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou..

[@annaanderssonkm8149]

Omg so beatuful!!🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@galloping_horsestv9207]

I'm so sorry😭Felicia is the best horse for ever!💕Felicia is so beautiful💕I miss she so much like you😢😢😢

[@Deeem100]

Galloping_horses TV 😔❤️ She is irreplaceable

[@wendyklunder9431]

ohh no.. wat heftig, heel veel sterkte! heb altijd met zo veel plezier en naar je video's gekeken het gevoel wat je erin legt.. prachtig

[@Deeem100]

Dankjewel..

[@TheNativeHorses]

Wait how did I miss this?! I really thought she would make it through. I am so so sorry for your loss I have been watching you two since I started CZcams and you two always inspired me. Every video you upload I can see the love and passion you had for Felicia and it was clear she loved you back just as much. I really can’t believe this has happened and it is absolutely heart breaking 💔 again, I am so sorry 😫

[@evelynnlaventure1610]

She seemed like a good willing loving horse. I have a pony just like that. Willing to do anything I tell her too. I take her for granted sometimes and see stuff like this that makes me appreciate my horse a heck of a lot more. I'm sorry for your loss♥️❤️❤️❤️♥️

[@Deeem100]

She was. My once in a lifetime horse❤️

[@kody_yt5863]

Im so sorry you had to go through this I know it is hard but you'll get through it stay strong I'm here for you♥️R.I.P Felicia she will always be in you heart 💓

[@xHeartHorsesx]

So sorry to hear this. You two were a great pair and you gave her the best life.

[@Deeem100]

Means a lot thankyou so..

[@Secretariat69]

This made me cry. Rest in peace Felicia ♥

[@ponysrule4life]

I'm so sorry for your loss, cherish all the good times. She looked like she had an amazing life with you!

[@Deeem100]

I will cherish all the good times, thankyou so..

[@majakolenc1087]

this is so heartbreaking, i'm watching and reading it with tears in my eyes. i loved you two so much and i always will, you are an inspiration. i know you feel awful and everything sucks right now, but you did your best and i know she loved you so so much and she will be with you forever❤

[@Deeem100]

Reading this all with tears in my eyes, thankyou..

[@diiione]

Aah prachtig filmpje.. Ik vind het zo erg voor je, in al je video’s zag je gewoon hoeveel jullie van elkaar genieten. Felicia heeft zo veel geluk gehad met alle liefde die ze van jou heeft gekregen ❤️ Stay strong!

[@Deeem100]

Dankjewel Dione, superlief..

[@lenapagitz7708]

Amazing😭

[@lilmissdanny1]

I’m so sorry to hear this!

[@mattfisher8330]

I am so so so so so so so so so sorry about that ❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜

[@Athex3]

Stay strong...💛 rest in peace Felicia

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou..

[@islacherryforest3804]

You will be together again riding on the clouds of heaven xx
Stay Strong xx

[@mariesummerrock2637]

i cried.. stay strong beauty :(

[@Funkelchen97]

This breaks my heart and makes me cry.. I feel with you. I lost my soul horse a week ago..

[@life_on_the_right_leadhors3975]

Im so sorry she is so cute. I cry when i see it.

[@JolijnAila12]

oh jeetje wat een ongelofelijk verdrietig nieuws :( Dit had ik echt niet zien aankomen.. Ik heb je video's altijd prachtig gevonden, maar vooral deze raakte me echt. Jullie waren echt een geweldig team samen. Heel veel sterkte gewenst! ❤

[@Deeem100]

Super lief betekend veel voor me, dankjewel..

[@naequestrian33]

My heart dropped so much when I saw this video in my feed...I am so so sorry for your loss. She was a beautiful and amazing horse, and it was clear you had such a special partnership. Rest in peace ❤

[@Deeem100]

So sweet, tears in my eyes. Thankyou..

[@lovedonna3074]

I’m so sorry.. you are a great team! I wish you all the strength

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou Kelly..

[@gamer_wolfgirl3875]

she was a good horse and she will always be with you 😥🥺

[@manonmoiroux9559]

you make me cry... I can't imagine how much it hurts...stay strong...

[@Deeem100]

Black Jack du Frêne I do, for her❤️

[@xILoveYouSarahx]

This is so heartbreaking, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I can't believe this... Stay strong.

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou..

[@MonaProductionz]

I´m so sorry :-(
You two were so special ♥

[@Deeem100]

Means the world❤️

[@ddpanimationscentral1890]

:'(. RIP beauty. F to pay respect.

[@FancyBug123]

I am so so sorry :( may she rest in peace

[@cateciri]

oh my god this made me cry... I'm so so sorry 😔 you two were and will always be one of my favourite pairs ❤️

[@Deeem100]

❤️😢

[@ShakknpallhlakakjgzhabJ]

I can't stop my self from crying

[@Jinnyxsarai]

Ah neee!!!! Ik vond jullie zo ontzettend leuk samen! Altijd plezier om je video's te kijken. Heel erg veel sterkte met dit verlies!

[@Deeem100]

Dankjewel..

[@xJokeNathanWega]

Oh god... Enorm veel sterkte! Het is zó moeilijk en zeker om op zo'n manier afscheid te moeten geven. X

[@Deeem100]

Dankjewel..

[@HulphondSkaya]

Super mooi filmpje! en een hele mooie beschrijving, ik ben gwn in tranen... Ik vind het zo erg wat er gebeurd is...
Heel erg veel sterkte! Ik weet echt niet wat ik moet zeggen, ik wou dat ik wat voor je kon doen x
Rust zacht lieve Felicia ❤ en sterkte Deem ❤❤
Okal is het moeilijk het is helaas idd het beste... Ze heeft nu geen pijn meer xx
xx Britney

[@Deeem100]

That Horsies Ahh dankjewel Britney..

[@xDreamingInColourx]

I am so heartbroken for you, Rest In Peace 😞

[@missdaphhh]

De tranen staan in mn ogen deem, zo mooi gemaakt en ik had jullie dit echt niet gegund..
Ik weet in ieder geval zeker dat ze jou harstikke dankbaar is voor alle liefde die je haar hebt gegeven! ♥

[@Deeem100]

Super lief van je Daphne, dankjewel..

[@GreyWonderx]

oh my god im so sad right now...you guys were perfect together...im so sorry, stay strong ♥

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou it really means a lot..

[@XeemxLou]

Ik vind het echt zó ontzettend erg voor je.. Ik weet natuurlijk hoe het is, en dit wens je niemand toe.. :( Weet ook niet zo goed wat ik moet zeggen, blijf je vast houden aan de mooie tijden die jullie samen gehad hebben en weet dat dit zo beter voor haar is dan de pijn, hoe vreselijk erg het ook is.. heel veel sterkte ♥♥♥

[@Deeem100]

XeemxLou Zal me zeker aan de mooie tijden vasthouden, dankjewel Isa..

[@emma-lu9ww]

I lost my soulmate 3 years ago.Soon he’ll be under my skin forever.I know this pain and I’m really sorry for your lose.There are no words to describe the pain I felt seeing him die.I don’t believe in heaven or anything like that you know...but I believe that he grew up with me because I needed him and he needed me.The day I lost him I lost a part of me too but no matter what happens ever I do everything for him.I can feel that he’s still by me side just in a different way than before.Years ago I lived with him...now I live for him.He deserves anything better and that’s what I believe,I believe that if there’s anything over us than he’s there.All of our animals are there because they all deserve it.I can’t tell how thankful I’m to knew him.
I love you❤️

[@Deeem100]

Its. emmix Thankyou for your beautiful words dear❤️ You the words out of my mouth. Its just so unfair..

[@tobiaskoppl2611]

OMG NO😩Rest in Peace Felicia ❤️Have a good Time 😰☠️FELICIA❤️

[@kicfbm]

I feel so sorry for you! You two were a great team. I'm sure she loved you just as much as you loved her. xx

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou Minna, You and bamse have always been an inspiration for us. Now they are together..

[@lostinthemist5776]

I am so so sorry:( She was such an incredible horse and your partnership and love with her will live on in her memory

[@Deeem100]

She sure was, she is in my heart now..

[@us-gr6os]

All good things, just must come to an end.. ❤️❤️

[@xkayt_6698]

Heel veel sterkte❤️

[@Madsta560]

i am so sorry.. my heart aches for you, know that she went knowing she was loved and had the best time a horse could have here, run free felicia💓

[@Deeem100]

I try to hold on to that, we have tried everything we can, now she is free from all pain..

[@igoriding]

im so sorry i cant emagin the pain your goingh though just know she will always be with you in your heart xxx

[@_soso.k4362]

Condolences

[@FatBlackHorse]

Oh my god :( I cannot tell you how much my heart just dropped seeing this video. My heart is absolutely broken for you. You and two were one of my all time favourite pairs on CZcams. That little mare loved you so much, just as you loved her. She was such an incredibly special horse, she was truly one of a kind and watching your journey together has been an absolute privilege. Your love was so pure and precious, you’ve both come so far in your time together. God I’m just so sorry, I know there’s no words I can say right now to help with the pain but oh how I wish there was. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, thank you for letting us see love at it absolute purest form. My heart is with you right now, I’m so sorry

[@Deeem100]

BelvedereRose Thankyou so.. it really gives me strength to read all of this💔

[@HannaMattis]

Oh no :( im so Sorry for your loss, you two were amazing togheter

[@Deeem100]

I will remember that, thankyou..

[@emotionalequestrian23]

Omg, I'm so so sorry! I just lost my horse a few weeks ago! I know what you are going through! If you ever need to talk im always here for you!

[@freedomhorse49]

I literally cried with you the whole video. It's so insane that things like this happen just like that. It's disgusting. I truly am with you, this must be an incredible pain in your heart, that's only good because that proved that what you guys had was real, and pure. Stay strong sweetheart, you're not alone in this. ♥️

[@Deeem100]

FreedomHorse It is still cant find the right words to tell how i felt after all of this. I will always miss her but I try to hold on to the beautiful memories💔 Thankyou..

[@lucywilliamsxo4235]

She’s galloping over that rainbow bridge and it’s okay she’s okay she will always be okay!! Stay strong rip Felicia 🌈💖

[@Deeem100]

Lucylily xo Thankyou💔

[@lucywilliamsxo4235]

Please sc me gorgeous!! lucylollipops16 or if me @lucyy.williamss and honestly let’s just have a heart to heart!! Feel free gorg I’m always here!! Xxxx

[@deniseshephard6947]

Im so sorry for your loss

[@Deeem100]

Denise Shephard ❤️

[@hollymartin1959]

Stay strong, everything will be ok Xxx💗💗

[@EmilyEquestrian21]

This... I'm just shocked. Words cannot convey how sorry I am, or how much I didn't anticipate this. To lose a horse like her, after the journey and time you have spent together, is absolutely tragic. I will so miss you and Felicia on CZcams, for a long time I could relate to you both through my own horse's injuries and illnesses.
Goodnight Felicia, and thank you for everything.
I hope you're okay.

[@Deeem100]

That's for sure, i still cant believe it and its so difficult for me to be without her. But reading all these sweet comments is doing me well. Thankyou..

[@marinafernandes985]

I'm in tears. When I saw your last video I was hoping so much she'd be okay. I don't always comment, but you were one of my favourite pairs to watch here on CZcams, and I can't even begin to understand how hard it must've been for you. I'm so sorry

[@Deeem100]

Marina Fernandes 😢 Thankyou Marina..

[@salernodaisy9476]

ohmygod wat erg.. ontzettend veel sterkte ♥

[@Deeem100]

Dankjewel..

[@elinorlimbaugh2318]

I’m so sorry, I’m not ready for my boy to go

[@Cavalinodemoi]

I'm so sorry .... :(

[@JoniqueEshuis]

Nogmaals heel veel sterkte demi! 😘😘😘 echt een prachtige video heb je gemaakt met veel mooie herinneringen met felicia! ❤️ dikke kus van mij!

[@Deeem100]

Dankjewel Jonique.. Heel lief van je

[@BrandysDreamer]

Oh my god I am so sorry 😭❤️

[@ponielover1239]

I literally just watched the 10 years video and I don’t know what to say ,, sleep tight Felicia 😢

[@seagrapetours436]

I will cry bc i love horses :( Im so super sorry-

[@LoveToNoranx]

Literally broke my heart..

[@icecold8796]

I’m crying omg

[@sabethspr]

Echt kippenvel... ik vind het zó erg. Echt verschrikkelijk, nogmaals heel veel sterkte ♥ Rust zacht, Felicia.

[@Deeem100]

sabethxshagall Dankjewel Sabeth..

[@vanha2810]

Oh god.. i know excatly how you feel. I lost my very best friend at summer. But remember, you can do it without her, even if it feels impossible ❤

[@Deeem100]

So sorry for you, then you must know how i feel.. it does feel impossible now.. it is so different without her.

[@josephinevanstaveren7619]

Prachtig demi, kippenvel! Jullie waren geweldig samen ❤😍

[@Deeem100]

josephinnora Dankjewel💔!

[@esia1865]

I’m so srry😭😭

[@EquiNado]

Jeetje wat verschrikkelijk.. Super veel sterkte meid, je hebt fantastisch mooie herinneringen met haar gemaakt.

[@Deeem100]

Dat hebben we zeker, veel moois om naar terug te kijken! Dankjewel..

[@caitlinmannix2315]

Sorry🙏🏻😇🌷. She will always will follow and she will love you forever., don't. Let go of her stay strong and Lo e her. Don't cry everyday because your heart will be stolen by your fears. I know she loves you and God will take care of her just as well as you did. Stay strong my love❤️ Bye felicia

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou my dear❤️ I know she is with me. She gives me strength everyday.

[@caitlinmannix2315]

Every horse needs. A life and Felicia was yours.🐴She means everything to you and I beleive she is your sorrow and your life. Stay strong Demi and have a happy life with your lovely horse beside you💕 If you believe that she is right beside you you will be happier. I really started to cry because I know how much she means to you. Here is a poem for you. Never ever let the sky fall down and you will be alright if you are turned out theirs a star that will be there for you. Go find out about your words and Felicia is all of inside you😢❤️ Please take your time and you will be okay❤️

[@lottejanssens7776]

Zoveel sterkte!!!❤️❤️❤️

[@Deeem100]

Schleichxhorsy Dankjewel..

[@xsuzzow]

Heel veel sterkte ! ❤️

[@Deeem100]

Dankjewel..

[@Mellepunter]

I don't have words for this one. It is just so horrible that she is gone :( You two have always inspire me, and will still do. Felicia was really a miracle, and I think you gave her the perfect horse life. She always looked so happy with you. Also it so inspiring how you two change together and fight through all this for each other. As I said it is just so horrible, and I think we all are going to miss you two together. It must be a hard time for you. Losing your best friend is really not easy. Stay strong, and I will always bee here if you need to talk about it

[@Deeem100]

My words are also still gone, this really means a lot to me. reading it all with tears in my eyes.
it is still very difficult and it feels so unreal to be without her..

[@ChamallowMilka]

you was so amazing :) you lived so many crazy moment that some people can live. Felicia was an amazing horse and with you you was amazing partners .don't regret because it's over, be happy because THIS is happen ;)

[@Deeem100]

Apolline Chabrlld I realize that for sure, just can’t imagine how my life would have been without knowing her so im happy that we had a chance to experience all these special moments together.. thankyou

[@DarkChianti]

this broke my heart

[@renn9749]

I know how u feel cause I had the same situation but with my cat. And the worst feeling was when he was in pain. Find peace in your life. Send love😖 Felicia will always be with u, here💗

[@Deeem100]

Aw hope you are okay, that is certainly the worst feeling. That you can't do anything about it anymore, even if you want it so badly.. I know she will always be with me..

[@joanneromans7825]

I'm so sad😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@lexivandermerwe7001]

I also lost my horse and tears wil not bring my horse back

[@sophiehst6327]

Mein beileid❤️

[@ruespeth2308]

I started crying the first 30 seconds stay strong 💔

[@Deeem100]

Strykerismyhorse ❤️

[@laha206]

Omg you both were so cute :,(

[@ElessarEquestrian]

Omg I am so sorry :(