Why Do I Stay, When It Doesn't Make Sense? | Dr. Doug Weiss
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- čas přidán 12. 10. 2021
- To order your copy of Why Do I Stay go to: www.drdougweiss.com/product/w...
When you get married you imagine a beautiful future that is limitless in hope and possibility. But what do you do when your life is turned upside down? Betrayal or emotional/sexual neglect can cause you to question whether you want to continue stay in this relationship, separate, or divorce. There are a number of reasons why you may stay married to a sex addict or intimacy anorexic. There may also be several reasons why you want to leave. But what factors are important to evaluate as you’re considering your future? In this video, Dr. Doug Weiss goes over a few points in making the decision to stay or go.
In the DVD Why Do I Stay, Dr. Doug Weiss utilizes his several decades of experience to give you information and tools that can help you make your decision with mental clarity and confidence. Whether you decide to stay, separate, or divorce, your future can be filled with new opportunities and a life that you genuinely enjoy.
For a full list of Dr. Doug’s products, go to www.drdougweiss.com/store/
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, Partner Betrayal Trauma ™.
You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, www.drdougweiss.com/ or on his Facebook / drdougweiss
by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at heart2heart@xc.org
I just found messages that he sent to other women wishing them happy birthday, buying them gifts, and telling them they made work enjoyable. Prior to that, I was willing to stay and work through the intimacy anorexia and sex/porn/masturbation addiction. What I am now struggling to get past is how I would beg him to reach out to me and give me love and attention, but he made time for those women. He wouldn't even wish me a happy birthday most years, let aline get a card or gift. This crushed my heart. I had always felt he put other women before me. I have some serious thinking to do. Thank you for the video, it has helped put some things in perspective for me.
I’m done living in fear, I want to grow, I’m Choosing to grow, I’m ready to be honest with myself, Thank you 🙏 ❤
I just want to say, it is so encouraging to hear these words... I didn't even know my situation had a name, it describes it exactly as it is... I thank God and you for publishing this material it is helping me to walk through this painful season... Thank you
You are so welcome and I'm sorry that you have experienced this pain. If you need support, you can call our office at 719-278-3708 and get scheduled with a therapist or join one of our Facebook support groups. You are not alone in this.
www.drdougweiss.com/facebook-groups/
@@DrDougWeiss I don't understand you Dr. Weiss you have this big forum and you encourage women to vent but when they do you really don't respond to any messages for just giving people your phone number and tell them to call your number You're very expensive and you don't take insurance so I don't understand how you're helping people.
You got me with this video.
. “I like you” and being able to look at myself in the mirror. How to make the decision snd be more amazing in the process. Stay proud of yourself.
Seriously- you got me. I want to be me again. I lost my way. And sold my soul for a lie. Thank you
I have always stayed because I thought I could change him. But now 4 children later….I stay because it’s easier to have control with my children’s life being with him because he is spiteful and immature when we fight or talk about breaking up. But I feel horrible even writing this because I’m having trouble accepting that he is this horrible narcissistic abusive person that I have to leave.
I’ve stayed with my very abusive, extremely toxic, intimacy avoidant- possibly cover narcissist husband for over 22years- I’m so lonely, sad, scared, confused, and fuxed up. He’s been cheating with men (recently finding this out) for almost our entire situationship …. My four daughters will feel the pain I felt……
Exactly my situation 4 kids later
i have stuck out 36 years with a toxic narcissist, but he has made made it impossible for me to leave, financially, no car, turning my children against me
Me too I thought I can change him if I loved him enough.
. If u divorce. He would have to pay you off or sell the home. 50 /50. In most states
I stayed because I didn't know the half of what he was doing behind my back.
I stayed because he had physical conditions that held him hostage to pain.
I stayed because I loved him but now I'm asking myself if he was capable of loving me, he married me, things were good for almost a year, he was loving love making, things I thought were normal but things changed.
He couldn't have been anymore disgusting if he tried.
People this is serious and it's a relationship killer! If he loved me like he said he did, he became very resentful. Me, I was only trying to love him but in reality he didn't love himself.
I'm left with PTSD, anxiety, triggers and as far as trust issues, my life is ruined 😢
Ur videos are a godsend this week for me and my marriage after infidelity. Ur well spoken doc and very knowledgeable. Coming from behavioral health workplace and suffering you still opened my eyes
This was the best video I have heard on this topic. I wish I could come to Colorado for your help 💔💔
Dr. Weiss, why and how do I stay? He has obviously had Intimacy Anorexia probably since before marriage. I had no idea until about a year or two after married. 25 years married, now 13 years of zero intimacy. I have cried and begged for us to get help/counseling for years. He refused! I recently and accidentally found out about the hours and years of his porn/cybersex chat rooms and more. We are currently active in therapy with one of your trained certified therapist for the past 11 weeks. I just can not get past the years of neglect with begging for help for us. He is devastated that I want a separation/divorce. But I feel so deceived for so many years. How can I trust him again? How can your therapy teach or counsel him without me feeling like it would only be teaching him how to be "in love" with me?
Very thankful that I found this channel, you are truly making a change in peoples lives. You gave me a lot of hope to understand that I am not alone
You're welcome and I'm glad you found this helpful.
Thank you for this, and all of your tools. This just popped up today! I really needed this. God Bless you.
You are so welcome.
Thank you so much for your videos. I am joining a phone group this week for spouses of IA and am looking at doing weekly therapy with one of your therapists. I feel like I am living in insanity with a 13 year old boy who believes he isn’t responsible for anything does. I am finding myself asking him on a daily basis how he thinks that made me feel what he just said to either me or our child. I just feel I can’t do it anymore. After 4 therapists, 1 online program, and 2 12 step programs, none of which he would participate in, I just don’t think staying is an option any longer.
Your words are reassuring and kind. It's wonderful to be acknowledged and encouraged. Thank you.
You are so welcome!
This IS helpful, I need moreeee! 😫😞
Thank you! Just in the right time…
Thank you for these videos. You are helping so many people in pain. May God bless you and your work. 💗💗💗
♥AMEN!♥🙏
You are so welcome. I'm glad that you have been enjoying these.
So grateful for all of your videos. Thank You Lord! God bless you.
You are so welcome and I'm glad that these have been helpful for you.
I’ve grown. But right now I’m pregnant with our 6th child and I’m triggered and struggling so hard. The hormonal strain upon me makes me long for closeness and connection, and I don’t live with it there at all. My husband is so broken and has no desire to change. He doesn’t like my pregnant body and I desire sex strongly. I feel like I’m constantly being traumatized but I have 6 kids and homeschool and don’t believe marriage is something I can spiritually walk away from. But everything’s hurts. I do through roller coaster moments where I am strong and cope with it and other times when I can’t stand my life. I wish for the most basic of things in my marriage that don’t exist and not many people understand or even acknowledge this situation as real. 😭I’m so lonely it literally aches deep in my bones!
I'm sad to hear that you are experiencing this in your marriage. You are definitely describing Intimacy Anorexia. You can check out intimacyanorexia.com to see if this applies.
We have support available for you in our Married & Alone phone groups and Facebook groups. You are not alone in this.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
Bc no matter where you are. When the whole world is gaslighting you. Where can you go? Its same everywhere. Thats why I stayed. Its even worst with strangers
This was so helpful. I e been asking myself for yours why do I stay. And I don’t like my reflection in the mirror for staying and not growing and learning
The best way to decide. I need help. 20 years of abuse and infidelity:
You stay because you made a commitment.
Powerful
After 23 years I want out but after all the damage I’ve became fearful I can’t make it on my own I have no family or friends to help me. So I’m alone. Plus I tried to leave twice and he just uses the kids and I lose again.
How do you grow in an environment that isn’t dangerous but incredibly crippling
You can focus on getting healing for yourself (as well as growing stronger and more mature in different areas of your life). You can also get a helpful and encouraging community of people (even if it is just a few good friends).
If you need counseling, you can call us at 719-278-3708 and we can help get you set up.
The DVD goes more in depth on what to do and give you guidance on where to go.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/why-do-i-stay-dvd/
How does one know if they even have the strength? How do you know it's not gonna be the same cycle all over again? At some point it's our fault for expecting a different result. 🥺
Your intuition is right. I would recommend watching the DVD/DVD download to see where you are and to reach out for help as you make these decisions.
@@DrDougWeiss what dvd?
✅ good video
This is my life now for the past 14yrs. We have been to so many couples therapy sessions, different people, I asked him to watch your teachings...... He did but nothing changed. I berry my hurt deep down and get on with life. The pain so simply TO OVERWHELMING to visit. My husband's a good man. But have intemacy anorexia..... And I have tried all I know. Now I need to live with it best I can. Thank you Dr for the awesome teachings. God bless you ✨
I am in SANON 12 step program, you should check it out, it helps a lot.
@@marybishop6105 I'm in South-Africa. Will look into it 🌼
Your pain is valid and you are not alone in this. We have a Married & Alone phone group and Facebook group for support if you're interested in joining.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
@@DrDougWeiss Thank you for replying to my msg Dr Doug, I've requested to join the Facebook group. Blessings ✨
thats what i thought at first that my husband has intimacy anorexia,,, 3 years of sexless marriage, until i found out that my husband is with a constant relationship with a younger guy within that 3 years. he never admitted that there is a 3rd party. and i didnt know that the guy he is always with that i thought is also my friend is the 3rd party. because i never thought of him as gay.
“Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.
Matt 7:6
If in a genuine Christian marriage, these Scriptures are not for the hurting Spouse. I’ve read a lot of your scripture laden responses on many pages, it’s awesome you know the Word, but as a wife~this hard journey with your marriage may just be the assignment God has asked you to fight ~with spiritual warfare with Holy Spirit discernment about why he is on bondage and getting to the root of this demonic oppression. We also must allow God to heal our hurt and brokenness as well. Jesus Followers are called to a higher standard and it’s not just for our happiness, but to become whole in our broken areas. To do this, we must surrender our way and choose to trust and be obedient to what He is asking of us. Marriage is a covenant and a huge assignment in our walk of holiness. I hope you are healing genuinely as a daughter of God. By the way, this is my journey as a wife of an Porn addict and not being the husband and man of God he’s been called to be. 🔥🙌🏻
We are to forgive as God fogives us. But how and when does God forgive us, when we come to Him and confess our sins. Not when we lie, hide, and choose to keep going back to our sin over and over again.
True repentance means that you turn away from sin. So if there is not true repentance, full truth, and them initiating it, there there can NEVER be reconciliation.
1 John 1:9. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Eph 4:32. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Only 0:03 God knows the true heart of an believer that struggles with unrepentant sin. Only God can change his heart. We as wives have a responsibility to allow God to heal us and we also are to be obedient to what He asks of us in our marriages. This is spiritual warfare that requires a humble, loving, obedient child of God. If God asks you to leave your marriage(I doubt He does this often), then you must heal, and deal with your bitterness and anger. You sound very angry in your statements, and it takes away from the message you are trying to project. We must exemplify the Fruot of the Spirit in our walk in Holiness. If we don’t, it’s a life in vain.
He even had I don't even know what to call it but he had a intimate relationship with my daughter in my own home. I'm sick and I can't forgive let alone heal
Thank you for the love you give in helping women who are struggling. My husband has left me and I want to save our marriage. I found him arranging a meeting with another woman that was betrayal to me. I believe he is the man God made for me. I'm struggling with him leaving. He is a beautiful man and broken in many ways. I want faith based counseling for us. What information is there to help with coping if he doesn't answer the call of the Holy Spirit to save our marriage?
Any of our female counselors or coaches could help you walk through this process. You can call us at 719-278-3708 for scheduling and more information. Make sure to specify that you want faith in your counseling since we offer both secular and faith based.
I stayed because I made a promise to God as I understand Him, "I will stay where you put me" if He would get me out of a bad situation in another state where I was living... that was 22 years ago. AND, now I am emotionally a shriveled up shell of the woman I was back then. Except for today, I weigh 264 instead of 214 pounds, but I stayed where I was planted.💔
Everyone else just thinks the world of my husband and our pastor told me maybe it was me and I ought to try to lose some weight. A deacon's wife with 5 kids said I should just forgive him. She has 5 kids at least she knows her husband the way we are supposed to.
My health problems are becoming insurmountable so maybe I will escape soon... Oh but that is self-pity, forgive me...
My husband agrees that he has a problem and his daily prayer, in my ears, is God please change me.
I also think the world of Dr. Weiss, at least I know #1 that I am 'NOT" the problem. #2 God really does love me...
💔💔💔
So sorry.
I feel like we should start an intimacy anorexia support group for us going thru it
@@CasT2787 the facebook group is a good place to start. 💗🙏
I also have multiple health issues that I never had before. Sending you understanding love.
Can you do this counselling Online ? In another country and can't travel
We offer phone counseling that you can do. We also have support groups over the phone and on Facebook too. You can call us at 719-278-3708 for scheduling and for more information.
Not only the cheating stuff... He started getting hands on a few years ago also when I ask or confront or try to leave... And I stay... I want to go but something keeps me here
I'm sorry that you are going through this in your relationship. It can often be difficult to come to a decision in either wanting to stay and try to change things or leave. However, it is important to understand that if he is unwilling to change, he won't.
The Why Do I Stay DVD would be great in helping you to evaluate your situation and find clarity on whether to stay or not:
www.drdougweiss.com/product/why-do-i-stay-video-download/
The Partners book and workbook are good resources as well to help validate what you are going through and provide guidance in moving forward.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partners-healing-ebook/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partners-healing-ebook/
You can also get booked with one of our counselors who specializes in partner betrayal trauma to help you process this and find the guidance and healing you need. You don't have to make this decision alone.
How can aman go without dex for over 30 ys. ? So frustrated and angry and if he ever came to me we was sorry I would just walk away. I'm done. Im emotionally drained..
I'm going to get the books and DVD's for Married and Alone. What do I say or do if anything with my husband while I'm getting the help I need?
I would suggest getting into the Married & Alone phone group as well as the Facebook group for support.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
Is there another way to get this information other than the dvd?
Sorry, but this is the only resource among our products that has this information.
Malachi 2:15-16
[15] “Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? … So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.”
[16] “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the LORD, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
Amen!! We are called to a higher standard as True Jesus Followers 🔥🙌🏻
They could have more than one wife then.
Do you have any videos of healing for those who have chosen divorce?
Yes, there's the "Moving Forward" DVD.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/moving-forward-dvd/
I have been married for 20 years my husband has left so many time, drugs alcohol living with the other women now. He have been gone for 6 years came back stayed 1 year and he is gone again. I am tired and i am over it..what do I do?
You can divorce an adulterer
We watched 1-3 clips about intimacy anorexic and My husband says it is me the one who is intimately Anorecxic and I say it is him and looks like it has brought us to another fight , wile I bag him to give me a divorce so I can possibly meet someone he refuses, what do we do now ?
Dr. Weiss. I struggle so much with this issue of why do I stay. Saw more stuff he shouldn't be looking at and when I showed him pics I took of the content he tells me that was from before but I know it's not because I've checked periodically. He says he doesn't believe that the pics are even off his phone and I'm setting him up. I guess this is gaslighting. I start to feel so confused and like I can't trust my instincts. He says I set him up, and my mind feels like this huge confusing mess like I'm crazy or something. He's been in recovery for about a year card a half. I'm just starting therapy. I just feel so lost and exhasted.. I feel like I'm in No Man's Land. I'm starting to wonder where God is and if He is safe and cares about me and my kids.
Your trauma is real and needs to heal. You consider doing an intensive with us. You can call us at 719-278-3708.
You can also join our Partners of Sex Addicts phone group and Facebook group for support.
www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/
facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
Pls pray for my marriage. That we both make the right choices
Thankyou ❤
❤❤❤
How can I get the help I need when I don’t have the money? Is there any help through medical insurance?
We have a free Facebook group for Partners of Sex Addicts and for Married & Alone. There's also the free newsletter you can sign up for at the bottom of our website and all of our videos on CZcams.
Also you can go to your public library and order our books and other products through them for you.
facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
www.drdougweiss.com
I am in a desperate situation, where do I get help in Capetown South Africa?
Depending on your situation, we do offer phone counseling and have phone & online support groups. You can call us at 719-278-3708 or email us at heart2heart@xc.org for more information or about resources we have available for you. You can also see if they have any local counseling or groups where you are.
My marriage cripple me on several ways ..
I’m looking for a qualified therapist. Tele Or in person. Can you provide resources
Yes, we can. We offer counseling in person and over the phone. You can call our main office at 719-278-3708 or email us at heart2heart@xc.org for our list of therapists, rates, and resources. We will be happy to answer any questions you may have.
My husband porn addiction and lying for 23 years has left me in trauma, I don't know if I should stay. He has decided to get help and started a plan for healing from porn. It just feels like a lot of water under the bridge and I don't know if I can trust and love him ever again. Dr. Weiss should I give him a chance or leave?
You have to decide this yourself. If you want to give him a chance, you can give him from 90 days to 6 months (the time length is up to you). You heal from the trauma in the meantime and measure his recovery. He will mature if he is intentional, sober, and stops lying. Afterwards, evaluate him. You might consider an intensive for you both either way.
Trama bonding 🥺
my spouse is alote of depression and anxiety disorder he is a broke child from the start i try my best give him every thing but hedont want to trust anyone i dont want to losse him but i m in alot in pain
Mistrust/trust is so important to deal with. If he choose mistrust though, you can't help him. You might want to focus on your healing if that is the case.
Do you have any suggestions for a wife who's husband has finally admitted he has porn addictions and has a terrible habit of lusting after women he sees online, but does not want to get help for himself, he rather go to counseling for me and not himself.
He has a habit of hiding things and keeping things a secret to avoid any arguments or me finding out. He says he is weak when it comes to temptations.
It sounds like he is giving himself an out, not wanting to get well.
He can watch some of the DVD "Lust Free Living" and the DVD "Lusted After".
www.drdougweiss.com/product/lust-free-living-dvd/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/lusted-after-dvd/
He would also do well to watch "Helping Her Heal" and "Partner Betrayal Trauma" to learn about and understand your pain.
You can get in a group for yourself and start getting support and information to heal.
www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/
facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
@@DrDougWeiss I appreciate your response and info. Happy Holidays
How do I get your DVD ?
www.drdougweiss.com/product/why-do-i-stay-video-download/
@@DrDougWeiss
Thank you,
I’m not sure if I am a unique case or not but I think maybe I am. I am the one who had the porn addiction, and kept it a secret from my wife for 20+ years. She has stayed with me even after 3 more breaches of trust over the next 8 years while we were in marriage counselling. Then I finally did the work of recovery and got sober. But during that time my wife cut off all intimacy. She said (understandably) that she couldn’t trust me and didn’t want to be intimate with me anymore. At first she said it would be for 6 months. She even said the words that she wanted to just be roommates until she could figure things out.
I now find myself healed and sober but in a relationship with an intimacy anorexic (4 years and counting). I’m in so much pain and very conflicted. On one hand I completely understand why she cut me off and why she had to protect herself from me and my actions. On the other hand I desire so badly to connect with her from a healthy place but am rejected everywhere. I feel like if I ever want intimacy again it’ll have to be with someone other than my wife. I hate that I even think that thought!
So there it is. I feel both deserving and undeserving of love and a healthy relationship while simultaneously feeling responsible for causing this situation and for destroying my wife and our marriage.
I told her a week ago during MC that I couldn’t go on like this anymore. I gave her an ultimatum that she needed to decide whether she wanted to be my wife 100% again or not. She said she’d make a decision and I’d find out in the new year. I’m scared about both decisions she could make. Scared of more rejection and also scared of her half ass loving me and me potentially hurting her more if she decides to stay with me.
Help
You are not alone in this situation, many others have experienced the same issues. If she says yes, you might consider doing an intensive to clean up the past and create a known plan forward to increase your chances of a successful marriage. You can call us at 719-278-3708.
Your wife needs to choose whether she wants to heal and truly forgive you, or if she wants to remain in bondage to her hurt and resentment. Pray for her, pray she sees her pain and wants to get help. I hope your marriage will continue to heal! Congratulations on your recovery! It’s a huge accomplishment and lifetime journey to stay sober. My husband is on this journey. Blessings
How do I get help with this
Here at Heart To Heart Counseling Center, we have certified therapists who are here to support you and help you find healing for whatever you are currently experiencing. You can make a phone or virtual appointment by calling our office at 719-278-3708 so that you can begin to process your situation and determine how to move forward in life.
We also have phone and Facebook support groups as well that you can join.
www.drdougweiss.com/groups/
www.drdougweiss.com/facebook-groups/
For materials, you can get started with the "Why Do I Stay" video download, which will give you the proper tools to evaluate your situation:
www.drdougweiss.com/product/why-do-i-stay-video-download/
You might also find the Partner Betrayal Trauma book helpful in you are struggling with betrayal trauma from your partner/spouse:
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-ebook/
Thank you very much. I will call. I am willing to do an intensive or anything I am just not sure what is the best route
We have been married 49 years. We have been having problems for over 30 years, he always wants sex to include taking about fantasies of me with other men. 25 years ago, while on a vacation, his cousin became flirty with me. This aroused my husband. His fantasy became inviting his cousin to come join us in bed. It did not happen, but since then, it is like the doesn't really want me anymore, not unless I play along. with fantasy games. We hardly have sex anymore. Our emotional intimacy has been damaged. We love each other, but I feel like this will never get better. Do we need deliverance from sexual demons?
I'm sorry that this has been occurring in your marriage. I would suggest checking out intimacyanorexia.com to see if this applies to the issues you've been dealing with.
It would probably be best to do counseling first before deliverance.
We completed 100 days with the dailies. Can we now start negative feelings about each other's behavior? Or this is wrong during the dailies?
Never do the negative feelings during the dailies. Have those conversations separately.
@@DrDougWeiss Thank you
The Facebook group married and alone says it’s not available. Have tried several times to find but it says it’s closed.
Our Facebook coordinator had been out for the holidays but is back now. You can see if you've been approved or try to apply again. If you are still having issues, you can call our main office at 719-278-3708.
I get so jealous if i see my girlfriend laughing and lovely with her male friends and i don't how to handle it
You might be sexualizing a non sexual behavior. Jealousy can also be insecurity so you might want to talk to someone if this is an issue.
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.
If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
Matt 18:15-18.
Maybe we need to start following the Bible in how these things are handled? Maybe some of these men need.to be brought in front of the whole congratation, and of repentance doesn't happen, maybe these unrepentant men need to be kicked out of God's church?🤔
Forgiving doesn't equal forgetting. Forgiving doesn't equal zero consequences. Jesus forgave the theif on the cross, but He didn't take him down.
Moses was not allowed to enter the promised land because of his disobedience.
The prodigal son was forgiven and accepted back by the Father- but he still wasted and squandered his inheritance on partying and women. The son who stayed with the Father was the one who still had his inheritance.
Forgiveness does not mean there are no consequences. Your husband may have squandered his inheritance (you, your marraige, you sex life, your family, ect) on other women.
My body/life was bought and paid for by the blood of the Lamb. And I should not just frivolously give it to someone who abuses it, or me.
( 1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
The Bible is cery clear that we are not to even eat with unrepentant adulterers, let alone sleep with them, be intimate, and freely give my body, which is the Temple of the Holy Spirit to someone who has defiled himself, me, our marraige bed ect.
1 Cor 5:1-13
1 Cor 6:13b. The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
1 Corinthians 6:9-20.
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
“All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything. “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”-and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? (Pornography is basically prostitution on film. People being paid for sex. Just other people now watch the act of prostitution on film). Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, "The two will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? A are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
1 Cor 5: 9. I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people-
Vrs 11
But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality. Do not even eat or drink with them.
12b-13
Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside the church.
Therefore “Purge the evil person from among you.”
We are not even supposed to eat with the sexually immoral "brother." We are supposed to kick them out of the church until true repentance happens. Maybe if the church actually did what the Bible said we wouldn't have so many broken marriage, families, men, and women.
This does not align with God’s word.