Intrigue Addiction | When Checking Out Others Becomes An Addiction | Dr. Doug Weiss
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- čas přidán 2. 06. 2022
- To watch the FULL Intrigue Addiction video, click here: www.drdougweiss.com/product/i...
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In this DVD/video download, Dr. Doug Weiss, Licensed Psychologist and world-renowned sex addiction expert, explains the depths of intrigue addiction and gives practical steps to take ownership of these behaviors and rid yourself of them.
This is a feeling of constant abandonment and rejection. I never knew how to describe it.
I am so glad you addressed this intrigue silent demon thats destroying so many people .Such a slick and slimy demon .Ha the mask is off God wins again.Doctor Weiss i wish you could come to our Church and we could set up some classes at church training the people of God then heal the church then families then the world hopefully !It won’t be without resistance and grief but i think its worth it !
Truly painful reality for many of us
That’s how I feel and I’m the husband
This is my husband 1000000000%.
Iv often wondered if he’s disrespectful enough to catch attention from other women while I’m actually there & present…. How much further he takes it when I’m not. 😞
Never heard anyone speak on this before. Very eye opening and helpful to renew the mind 🙏
It is real! I've always called it "shopping" and it's really NOT harmless!! Once you buy you need to stop shopping.
Thank you. Enlightening.
I don’t like going out anywhere with him because he’s always gazing. It’s not a quick look but long stares while I’m in his presence. I hate how that makes me feel. I don’t know how to express how it makes me feel or he just doesn’t care.
This is quite frustrating and I'm sorry that you have experienced this. Your pain and anger from this are valid.
If you need support, you can reach out to my office at 719-278-3708 to get booked an appointment with a counselor who understands this and can provide guidance and help you heal. If he is unwilling, the two of you could do couples counseling.
The "Intrigue Addiction" video download is a good resource that sheds light on this matter and can provide validation for you and steps for him to take to stop.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/intrigue-addiction-download/
This pairs well with the infatuation and fantasy of love addiction.
This was called, "flirting," back in my day, but this does make so much sense as to why so many dating websites, bars, and event Church Singles events are thriving, but so are affairs. It's addicting to have someone notice you, especially if one's background is abusive or is being neglected. The high that comes with it is debilitating when one comes done from it. Been there, done that, and it's so not worth losing my peace over. Thanks for sharing this, Dr. Weiss, you always hit the nail on the head! 👍
I praise God to no end that I'm 100% committed to Him
Married and alone from 2015- present
Soon to be divorced
Constructive abandonment is a law on the books
My lawyer filled me in on this
Transitioning to singleness serving God and other's
☝🙌👍🙏💪😇
this explains so much! Thank you!
You're so welcome!
This is real talk here.Great video.
Thank you 🙏
But how can you convince them that they are doing this? That’s the mayor problem. When they get so upset because it’s not happening according to them because you are just making it all up. 😮😮😮
100%
I call this “gossip-obsession”… it’s a real middle school vibe. Although he’s 45, and we’ve been married 20yrs, raised 3 kids, he is SOOO NEEDY and susceptible to ridiculous middle school type “gossip”. It’s so bizarre, and has honestly led to a FUCKTON of other nefarious and damaging shenanigans with him. Damn.
I think I have this. My fiancé has a severe porn addiction and it has caused me to seek attention from everyone else. Never acting on it, never flirting or commenting back, I don’t even dress inappropriately… but I need my daily comment or look from other men. It validates to me that I’m enough and I have options. I don’t want to do it, I wish I was getting this attention at home.. but I guess it comes from myself first. I need to learn to give it to myself. Dr. Weiss.. how do I heal from my self esteem hit and emotional pain caused by my fiancé’s addiction?
Brittany,
You are experiencing trauma. Your pain is real. I would recommend getting the intrigue addiction DVD to prevent this from getting worse. Also, we have partner groups you can be apart of. www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/
facebook.com/groups/divorcedpartnersofsa
@@DrDougWeissdo you do therapy session?
This is called looking for a hook-up! 😂🤣
This is the finest reason why I feel low about how can I control it as I'm a sex addict too does it happens with the random person as i walk out of the home last time when I was with my husband in a restaurant one guy started conversation with my husband and i didn't wanted to look at him I knew it was wrong though I kept on looking at him I controlled it i just did my best but it happened please let me know how to get over it
Could intrigue addiction sometimes develop from being in a relationship that's anorexic? If so, what a vicious cycle that is. I'm beginning to realise that when people say relationships are hard work.....it can be confused in an abnormal way by fighting for your partner's attention.....which is exhausting and should never be. Suddenly awakened by this truth - thank you Dr Weiss.
It's possible because of the trauma of neglect. If you are dealing with this in your relationship, I would suggest getting counseling and support for being Married & Alone.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
Definitely! Dr. Weiss’s “Pain for Love” video goes into this. It’s so helpful. I just bought it and am sharing it with friends who all have experience with this! 🙏💕
How can I get more information on this topic ? Books , videos or contacts? I’m in central Florida.
You can call our main office at 719-278-3708 and we would be happy to provide you with any information on our resources and materials you may have. You can also check out our websites drdougweiss.com and sexaddict.com
My mate feels he doesn’t have a sex addiction of any kind, that his need to seek to lock eyes with other women has nothing to do with anything sexual, he says he doesn’t want to take them to bed when looking for their energy, maybe past life, maybe connecting to another soul as being one with everyone & everything (his Buddha beliefs). Can you please shed more light into it? Thank you, Sol
He’s bhllshuttinb you
Is there book for intrigue addiction Doc
Sorry but we only have the DVD for Intrigue Addiction.
Would/could this be a form of lust? It may not be a sexual desire, but you are looking to please yourself with something someone else has.
Lust generally is more about making a person an object for sexual purposes. Intrigue is more giving and taking emotional energy from each other, often while trying to look like you're not.
@@DrDougWeiss GREAT INSIGHT. Intrigue addiction the majority of the time is lust of the eye. That emotional energy has a source or purpose it is trying to fill. Usually, it is the visual that attracts a man first and fuels the addiction. You can lust for all kinds of things. Lust is greedy longings for something the heart is needing or wanting. In addition to the visual it can be the need for attention, accolades, praise, or the quick high of a potential conquest. However, since men are visual and it is regarding women, (not food or cars) their intrigue is usually sexual in nature even though hidden and especially when recovering from porn addiction. It is the residual behavior of that lust that they think is harmless or their new normal. Another example is; that coveting another man's wife has lustful desire involved. Jesus said; a man doesn't need a penis to commit Adultery - all they need are eyes! This includes knowingly wanting to view sensual images (models, lingerie, swimsuits that leave nothing to the imagination) for that exact purpose of Lust/gratification of the eye in a sexual or sensual way. Men have become desensitized by all that is in the world and don't realize what is actually considered porn. Merriam Webster describes it as; Any sensual imagery or writings that are put out there to sexually entice others. They don't have to be nude or engage in intimate acts. This is what Jesus was talking about; the INTENTIONALITY to just 'look' upon or seek out women or sensual/sexual images is committing adultery. If it is in person, this gives them a kick and makes them feel desirable. But many make excuses because they tell themselves, it's not as bad as what I use to do. They think that because it is not as graphic as before that it's not lust...even though they do it 50 times a day. Here is where the danger of self-deception takes over.
This addiction (emotional brokenness/need) usually stems from rejection or some form of abandonment (emotional if not physical) possibly from their mother as a child so they subconsciously seek attention from women to feel cared for, accepted, and praised. However, when they are older this changes to be interpreted as sexually desirable and a form of approval of their masculinity (not as their worth as a human being which they would have felt as a child) which is a form of counterfeit love. Now things are emotionally dysfunctional and women are objectified. It bears repeating; since men are visual, their "intrigue" is NOW usually sexual in nature accompanied by the things listed above. Social media is fueling this addiction. Because of social media and the constant "looking" (voyeuristic enjoyment) examining and comparing women is leading to mental/emotional and physical adultery. They intriguingly strike up a conversation about someone's sexy picture or something posted and this "Intrigue addiction" is the reason the social media divorce rate is at 35-40%. I have a friend who has been a Pastor and has a counseling ministry for 30+ years and suffers from this addiction. He never stopped the bachelor type commenting about other women to his wife when they were married and it tore them apart. He thinks there is nothing wrong with what he calls innocent flirting in public or on social media or even in counseling sessions. This was a daily occurrence as he spent hours a day online liking inappropriate pictures of even counselees. When asked why he did this, he said he wanted to encourage them as they had a difficult divorce or bad breakup. He invalidated her opinion and feelings then blame-shifted upon her for being insecure and said it's her past baggage that she needs to deal with and it's not him! Due to his years of counseling, and being well-liked (especially by the women) for his flirtatious, personality he feels he is successfully helping them and rejects the suggestion of getting a second opinion on this destructive behavior. Jordan Peterson made the comment; HE WARNS MEN THAT SOCIAL MEDIA/INTERNET HAS MADE IT TO WHERE MEN LOOK AT MORE NUDE (or partially) BEAUTIFUL WOMEN ""IN ONE DAY"" THAN ANY MAN HAS SEEN IN HISTORY. HE SAID; DON'T BE FOOLED, IT IS NOT NOTHING.. IT IS SOMETHING. AND TO THINK THAT IS NOT DOING ANYTHING TO YOU OR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.. NO, IT'S DEFINITELY DOING SOMETHING TO YOU. SO DON'T SUBSTITUTE THE FALSE FOR THE REAL THING!
I PERSONALLY KNOW OF COUPLES WHO BREAK UP OR DIVORCE BECAUSE THE MAN WAS ADDICTED TO SOCIAL MEDIA (probably other things as well). HE CHOSE "LOOKING" FOR HOURS AT THINGS LIKE THIS OVER HIS WOMAN! THIS IS WHY FACEBOOK AND OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA IS THE CAUSE OF A 35-40% DIVORCE RATE!! INTERESTING TO READ YOUR THOUGHTS.
Yes. As with David and Bathsheba, coveting another man's wife (or woman) has lustful desire involved. Jesus said; a man doesn't need a penis to commit Adultery - all they need are eyes! Lust is greedy longings for something the heart is needing or wanting.
@@desiredhaven4019 Well said! 👍
@@slcollazo.2911 Thank you!
Can a single person suffer from this? Also can the symptoms of intrigue addiction be heightened if through online messaging only?
No exchanging of pictures or personal information
Yes a single person can suffer this and yes, the symptoms can be heightened through online messaging only.
Any chance this could be the next step, a progression in Porn addiction ?
It is usually a next step in recovering from porn addiction, often they operate at the same time. This one is not always obvious so it can stay active.
@@DrDougWeiss wow, good to know, thank you!!!
It can also be the beginning of getting involved in porn. The constant voyeurism of one woman to another along with fantasizing releases the dopamine that is like a drug that gets a person addicted to "Looking" that creates Intrigue addiction. The intrigue is; what is she like etc.
I don't want anyone's attention i don't want any of those importance i wander why am I giving them looks as i know it would consider me the cheapest one
Yes I know someone that does this
He came to me because His wife does it to Him
Is this part of a text and phone only affair? My husband claims he has not been physical (to me it is just as bad) He has had fantasy relationships with at least three women he had sex with in high school. He goes as far to look online for motels to meet at. How much is really pretend?
Wanting to feel accepted is probably just about as important as a beating heart. I spend most of my days trying to put a smile on other people's faces. Is that what my intrigue addiction is....
Getting validation from women constantly could be an issue, especially if you are getting energy from them. You might benefit from getting this DVD at: www.drdougweiss.com/product/intrigue-addiction-dvd/
Jack, I totally relate to you on this. I think for me, it's giving to others what I had wished I had been given. I was definitely operating in the, "people-pleasing," mode as well. I would wonder why I was so happy when others, (especially men), showed interest in me and so depressed when they didn't. Thankfully, I've grown, but it's good to have a name for what I was feeling.
@@DrDougWeiss Absolutely.. Great comment!
@@slcollazo.2911 People pleasing is different and has a different need to be met even though they can both be present. As he said; when a person notices it is the opposite sex the majority of the time (as you said especially men) that is when it can fall into the intrigue category.
I recognize this comment's pattern as my life before I started learning about Codependence. Seeking to make other people happy because it meant I was worthy of love... Yeah, I've been there.
In reality, I was lovable, loving and loved the whole time... And so are you, dear reader.
Isn't this grooming?
Yes, but often without words or without inappropriate words, but it's a whole system. The DVD is quite helpful for them to see what they are doing.