The older I get, my old friends seem to have less and less in common with me. You get to the point where you wonder who the hell these people are anymore and why you even still hang out with them.
My grandfathers and great grandfathers worked in all male environments and were members of many social organizations, church, their wives organized bridge clubs at the house, and had huge families. The way society naturally was back them made friendships effortless. And they used to work six days a week back then, but they still had the time for socializing.
I was a kid in the 60âs and 70âs, retired now. From my perspective society seems much more competitive and status oriented than ever before. People are more judgmental, hot tempered and generally egotistical. The term âroad rageâ didnât exist when was young. Itâs fairly common now. I see all kinds of weird forms aggression on the road when driving. Generally, people seemed more friendly, humble, thoughtful and kind when I was young. Itâs a more hostile world today. On the why end of things. As I said previously, I think it is the pursuit of status, wealth and material things. That combined with an immersion into on-line worlds of fantasy. Everyone one is involved with that and avoiding actual one-on-one interaction with people.
I made friends with an old homeless fella, who lived under the overpass near me, in Yokohama. About 12 years ago, when I first moved here and I passed him on the way to the station, he'd shout "Ringo Starr!" which made me chuckle. When family and friends were over from England, I'd made a point of stopping to say hello to him and saying "who do I look like?", and when he said "Ringo Starr, Beatles!" they'd be in stitches as well. So, from buying him a bottle of water on hot days, popping in the convenience store for him if he was hungry, buying him a pocket transistor radio and gloves for Christmas and stuff like that, I got to know him a bit better. I haven't seen him for a few months now, his mobility was becoming chronically bad, and I think he's been taken off the streets by the authorities. I always look around the underpass on the way to the station, but I sadly don't really expect he'll come back. Friendship developing has no chance unless the two potential friends are prepared to find a bit of time for each other though.
My experience in relationships has been that the woman Iâm with expects to be the priority at every moment, and any time with attention on someone/something else is a detriment to the womanâs needs. Itâs beyond codependency, itâs a built in expectation with women, and itâs isolated men for generations.
After being disappointed and disrespected by many former "friends" I'm okay by myself. I enjoy my own company. My family and my cats are enough for me.
I have a like 6 fantastic mates and the only reason i have these guys, is because these guys appreciate the talks, brutal honesty and friendship we share for eachother. Talk to your brothers guys, real deep talk. We need it.
As a 50+ Aussie male who grew up in the country, I can easily name 10+ guys I grew up with died by suicide in their teens & 20âs. Well before mental health was acknowledged. I truly hope my sonâs generation follows a different path
I never got married. One by one as my friends all got married, they dropped off. Especially after having kids. I ran into trouble with several of their controlling wives that wouldnât let them out of the house and they were too weak to stand up to them.
I closed down my business to learn furniture making and i was stunned to see how everybody at my school was so likeminded despite being from diverse backgrounds and age groups. We have all rejected the values of modern civilization. I have made some great new friends and i am 43
đș Watch the full episode here -
I got 3, all from high school time, I'm in my 50's. Talk to them every 5-10 years without fail.
The older I get, my old friends seem to have less and less in common with me. You get to the point where you wonder who the hell these people are anymore and why you even still hang out with them.
Because we live in a society where youâre in a hamster wheel for 90 hours a week just to be able to afford a house.
Social Media is at the core of most of societies issues today.
My grandfathers and great grandfathers worked in all male environments and were members of many social organizations, church, their wives organized bridge clubs at the house, and had huge families. The way society naturally was back them made friendships effortless. And they used to work six days a week back then, but they still had the time for socializing.
I was a kid in the 60âs and 70âs, retired now. From my perspective society seems much more competitive and status oriented than ever before. People are more judgmental, hot tempered and generally egotistical. The term âroad rageâ didnât exist when was young. Itâs fairly common now. I see all kinds of weird forms aggression on the road when driving. Generally, people seemed more friendly, humble, thoughtful and kind when I was young. Itâs a more hostile world today. On the why end of things. As I said previously, I think it is the pursuit of status, wealth and material things. That combined with an immersion into on-line worlds of fantasy. Everyone one is involved with that and avoiding actual one-on-one interaction with people.
That's because as soon as you get married/settle down, you're not allowed "friends".
I made friends with an old homeless fella, who lived under the overpass near me, in Yokohama. About 12 years ago, when I first moved here and I passed him on the way to the station, he'd shout "Ringo Starr!" which made me chuckle. When family and friends were over from England, I'd made a point of stopping to say hello to him and saying "who do I look like?", and when he said "Ringo Starr, Beatles!" they'd be in stitches as well. So, from buying him a bottle of water on hot days, popping in the convenience store for him if he was hungry, buying him a pocket transistor radio and gloves for Christmas and stuff like that, I got to know him a bit better. I haven't seen him for a few months now, his mobility was becoming chronically bad, and I think he's been taken off the streets by the authorities. I always look around the underpass on the way to the station, but I sadly don't really expect he'll come back. Friendship developing has no chance unless the two potential friends are prepared to find a bit of time for each other though.
My experience in relationships has been that the woman Iâm with expects to be the priority at every moment, and any time with attention on someone/something else is a detriment to the womanâs needs. Itâs beyond codependency, itâs a built in expectation with women, and itâs isolated men for generations.
After being disappointed and disrespected by many former "friends" I'm okay by myself. I enjoy my own company. My family and my cats are enough for me.
The prerequisite to FRIENDSHIP is to be FRIENDLY.
I have a like 6 fantastic mates and the only reason i have these guys, is because these guys appreciate the talks, brutal honesty and friendship we share for eachother. Talk to your brothers guys, real deep talk. We need it.
People these days are so fucking transactional, youâre only kept around as long as youâre useful.
As a 50+ Aussie male who grew up in the country, I can easily name 10+ guys I grew up with died by suicide in their teens & 20âs. Well before mental health was acknowledged. I truly hope my sonâs generation follows a different path
What I am not hearing here is the loss of 3rd spaces for community gatherings and socializing.
There is a steep learning curve to knowing real friends from acquaintances, but men can definitely have real friends.
I never got married. One by one as my friends all got married, they dropped off. Especially after having kids. I ran into trouble with several of their controlling wives that wouldnât let them out of the house and they were too weak to stand up to them.
I closed down my business to learn furniture making and i was stunned to see how everybody at my school was so likeminded despite being from diverse backgrounds and age groups. We have all rejected the values of modern civilization. I have made some great new friends and i am 43
All my friends were mostly met from school, I don't talk to any of them anymore. Now its just me, myself, and water.