I have one friend. He's my husband. I have had loads of acquaintances, some really good ones, but friendship and I don't get along. Because I am a great listener, very empathetic and am capable of giving good advice and willing to help, I seem to attract only those who need to "unload" their worries and problems. I have blood relatives, but not "real" family. I have been abandoned. And I'm okay with that.
What would happen if you lost your husband? What if you find yourself alone at 60? What if you find yourself alone at 60 after having no one for say, 10 or 15 years? I only ask because Iâm 63 and have had NO ONE for years. No friends, no family. Iâve been living with 6 herniated discâs and a spinal cord injury for 21 years. Being alone and being disabled is no fun. If you lose your husband then what? I had a wife, but she was an abusive person, diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder. She was no friend to me, let alone a wife. Those who have true friends and family that cares are truly wealthy and blessed. Being alone when youâre young or middle aged is one thing, but if you accept that now, how do you think you will feel in 20 years? Think about it.
@@molassescricket6663 I'm a carer for my partner who has a disability and have witnessed first and secondhand the discrimination he's been through, its opened my eyes and I've been genuinely shocked and appalled. I'm sorry your experience has been like this, I hope you don't mind if I ask you, what should be different, what kind of services or things could help in this situation?
@@molassescricket6663 I have thought about it. If he goes first, I will quickly follow. No hesitation. Yes, I know that's not a good mindset, but it's the truth. I'm not going to beg anyone to pay attention to me. I refuse to be the one who always reaches out first. If no one reaches out to me, then they have proven themselves. I will not force myself into their lives. If they wanted me there, I would have been invited. I haven't been invited. đ€·
Ooo I was just going to say my best friend is my boyfriend. Now that Iâm older, Iâm more introverted and I donât put in the effort to maintain connection or friendships after gym and working. I just donât have the energy. Plus it takes a while to really trust someone
I think good friends are rare, because people who have either gone to therapy or were raised by good parents that they didnât need therapy, are rare people. The rest of us are projecting our attachment wounds onto others. Iâm a really caring, open, empathetic and nurturing person by nature, but was raised by emotionally unavailable parents who constantly misunderstood and punished my neurodivergence. Et viola! My adult relationships have been a repeat of this until I got therapy. Once I learned to see that the people I kept around me werenât true friends not capable of being true friend, I weeded them out of my life one by one. I donât repeat the attachment trauma with them anymore, but there is barely anyone left to connect with because everyone is walking around shitting on each other, barely anyone has gone to therapy and nobody at least has good communication skills or conflict resolution skills. Itâs exhausting and lonely. You canât just watch a podcast and decide to be a good friend, everyone knows how to be a good friend thatâs not the issue, everyone is overcome by their own unresolved attachment wounds that get in the way.
My two children are both grown adults now. 23 and 20 years old respectively. They are both still living at home, but they pretty much live their own lives. We don't eat together, do activities together etc. anymore. We used to go skiing, wakeboarding, etc., but they have their own lives now. Recently I have found myself feeling very "empty", and I realized that a lot of it has to do with the fact that, for the last two decades, my life, and my wife's life, have been revolving predominatly around our children's needs, and now that they don't need us so much anymore, or really don't have much interest in "hanging out" with us, there is a void. Similar to the "service" issue Simon identifies. What I have found is, the more I help them with things like car repairs, university, car insurance, etc., I feel more fulfilled. I had thought that the whole idea was to get them to 18 years of age and set them loose, just like my wife and I did back in the 80s, but times have changed, and it seems harder for kids to make their way. Anyway, I guess my point is, the whole "empty nest" feeling (even though they still haven't physically left "the nest") is very much in line with the loss of "service". He's right. If you can find a way to provide assistance, whether it is to your children, a friend, or a complete stranger, your life becomes more meaningful. It's like Christmas, remember? It's better to give than to receive. As you grow older, nothing could be more true.
Sure I agree and I too try to help my children 19 and 18..but i urge you to help.yoirself more. Your children are far too old to be helped by daddy really as they will become horrible adults....sorry to say but I've met big kid adults that were looked after much more than they should have been and feel entitled to preferential treatment from everyone....basically narcissistic dick heads. All the best with it...get them to do all the housework , cooking, shopping for example....they should be looking after you now x
My boys are a similar age to yours, and a similar scenario. My (nearly) 20 year old has only just learnt to drive (required for his new job) - and this morning he text me that he made the hours drive, in the depths of winter, on rural roads, in the dark, safe and sound. I'm both relieved and also recognise that my trainee linesman son, is a man. My new role is "housekeeper" /cook
Sometimes I try talking to God (not Allah) for reassurance. While he sometimes has all the answers I need, on other occasions he fails to respond. What's that all about?
I couldnât listen after he called thighs an organ; maybe the whole muscular system is an organ according to what some scientists are saying but specifically the thighs? It seems that itâs the whole muscular skeletal system being strong This guy is not up to par with your usual guests
Friends who are like that - there when you need them, happy for you when you have reason to be happy - who several times got told what great friends they are - often are lonely. They give what they seek. What they hope to get in return. What they hope someone would do for them in return.
They understand that the world is a great mirror. It reflects back to you what you are. If you are a loving, friendly, and helpful person, the world will reflect love, friendship, and help. At the risk of sounding cliche, we all must be the change we wish to see.
That would be nice. Unfortunately narcissism is on the rise and those people who are great friends donât get back what they give very, very often, for narcissists are a bottomless hole one can never fill and that gives back nothing. They only pretend to be great and warm people when you meet them, but then itâs gone and only comes back when they feel like losing you. Itâs never a good, mutual friendship, but always .transactional and about whatâs in it for them. How useful you are. How much validation, support and supply they can drain from you.
@@TheOrignalTRockz It works the same for everyone. Sensible people won't entertain a narcissist for very long. The world is also a great mirror for the narcissist reflecting their actions back at them.
@@MrWill-ng8dg Unfortunately, thatâs wishful thinking; their victims feel trapped and get hooked due to the unforeseeable ârewardsâ in form of little bits of the former so called love bombing phase and their future faking lies and promises. You want to believe in a world where justice comes to everyone and only good behavior will succeed - but thatâs not how it is. Whoever is in a position of power knows this. Dig into narcissistic abuse to understand the issue. Especially covert narcissists, cultural narcissists, social and educational narcissists are hard to spot.
@@TheOrignalTRockz If you haven't seen it yet, Doctor Ramani's channel about narcissism has been so helpful to me! I grew up with a narc so inadvertently attracted lots of users (and some good people : - ) before figuring out that I have to consciously be less agreeable and flexible than my nature to ward off such predators. Now I consciously look for signs of instinctive reciprocity and empathy and if folks ain't got it, no matter how interesting they are I force myself to gray rock and be "busy" 'til they fade away in search of easier prey. May all the kindhearted people find equally kindhearted friends! đâ€
Unfortunately I grew up with narcissists so I was a magnet for them and chose them because they felt familiar. Therefore, just letting the communal narcissist non- friend go; knew 32 years, I feel sad and alone that I didnât know what I know now. I now have space for attracting healthy relationships.
You make real friends when youâre down in the dumps and see who stays and supports you. Itâs all about each personâs capacity that they allow for someone to become a friend - too many offer little but want much, also too many offer much but get betrayed or taken advantage of⊠it a really sad state of the world we navigate in these days.
I do ask people how are they. I keep up with them. I had depression since I was 12 (not diagnosed at the time), so I know what "alone" means. So I'm very aware of how I am with others, and try to not be clingy but also not too distant. But if I don't start conversation nobody does. If I need someone noone comes. Like after my last baby was born, I moved back were "friends" lived. I needed someone. I felt so alone and overwhelmed and asked a few people to come just to eat cake and talk about whatever they wanted. I told them "look I need you, I'm not good." Only two people came, once. None of them call me or write to me after. I think they "had to" come and they felt that one and only visit was good enough. Some "friends" never came. I was left alone by everybody. It has been like this for ever. I was never part of any group. I was friends with everybody and everybody came to me for advice. I new everybody's secrets and they new I could be trusted. But still not a "regular" in any group. They would go out without me all the time and never ever came to my house. As an adult it has been the same. At 15 the panic attacks and anxiety started, none of them know. At 25 my anxiety was so bad I was terrified of going outside. Then social anxiety enters the chat đ I'm alone and scared of people. Not a good combination. A few years ago I started to let my little sister be my friend. She is 35 now so is not that little, but I'm 44 so I always saw her like "little"and never thought of asking her help. I thought I was the one that had to help her. Unfortunately we live in different Countries and can't see eachother often. She doesn't know how bad things are. She knows I'm not always ok, but I cannot bring myself to tell her how much, really. It sucks. Very hard.
Thank you for sharing this- I relate to it a lot myself. It gives me peace, in a way, to know that Iâm not the only one out there who is struggling with this. And at the same time it makes my heart hurt to know there are so many people out there experiencing the same. I hope things get better for you đ
Exactly! I have a group of friends who come over for UFC/Boxing fights every other Saturday that are closer to me than the own family members. I moved 2.5hrs away and my boys would come see me on schedule. Your friendships are like relationships, they require maintenance. Stay Focused!
I am that friend that would call to everyone, but I never get called back... đą I'm used to it at my age. Im just doing my deed anyway because I care for all my homies
The Greek word for friend is "ÏÎčλία" (filia), which is one of the highest forms of love. Socrates said if you have one true friend in life, you are extremely lucky if you have two, you are blessed by the Gods because a true friend will give their life for you. There are very few friends like that.
Agreed! A wise teacher of philosophy said basically what you said, that itâs almost impossible to have more than 6 true friends, that we are fortunate to have one true friend. Also, when the guest said he could tell 4 friends of his successes-and they would be happy for him- thereâs a good chance (based on odds) that a few are actually acquaintances, rather than true friends.
As long as my thighs get me to my wife and kids Iâm good. Those folks are my best and quite possibly my only actual friends. They are here now and will always be until the end and that fills me with joy.
I donât have friends. During school time I have close friends but at some point I feel like I am being used. I am good when they needed me,if I am not needed they become distant. It kept going for a while then I stop talking to them and I didnât make new ones. I always took care people around me but people want to use you. I donât know anyone sincere.
Let this be a call to action then. Call up an old friend or find a hobby that you can do with other people. Something small to put you on the right path.
OMG yes - being able to call someone when things go good without getting the "must be nice" or great well anyway change topic. Big yes on mobility. Lack of mobility majorly makes a diff on getting out to see friends.
Making friends is very very easy, prioritize giving over getting and you will have the most wonderful friends in life 100% guaranteed one BUT it will take time to fish out the genuine people amongst the people who received.. relationships take time to develop so invest in time
Well articulated đđŸđđŸđđŸ something so simple yet we struggle to do it. So many are living in isolation when they have people who love and care about them and their wellbeing. But friendships go both ways, and takes effort.
Im there when i know something is wrong and there for support because I know how it feels when I need someone and no one is there. When everything is great, itâs wonderful.
We don't call people when we are depressed because we've learned the hard way they will not show up when we need them or in the way we need them... So we are forced to look elsewhere & oftentimes elsewhere means nowhere and the loneliness experienced there is dangerous. I don't think is wrong for people to seek to post things on social media. It's literally a scream for help, support, attention, care. We just need to understand we've become that crappy as humans that we only pay attention to our inner world and social media. So going to social media IS us reaching out for help & support in the ONLY way people want to give you time & attention nowadays
I would argue that the reason we donât have the friends through the âgood timesâ is because people donât share as much in the good times as they need to do during the hard times. I have friends who I only hear from when they need to purge some struggleâŠnever to share in some joyous event. Maybe it is because I am a good listener..and people most need to be heard when they are in pain? Maybe because when we are in pain we seek sympathyâŠyet when in joy we feel expanded? People are more apt to share pain than joy.
I stopped sharing negativity with friends unless I absolutely have to because I saw the impact it had on someone I loved Some people need to be humbled to learn they have a negative impact on people
What is a friend? That word is thrown around without a clear definition of what it means. People unknowingly have different definitions and understandings of what being a âfriendâ means. If two or more people donât share the same definition of what a friend is then that friendship is likely at jeopardy because theyâre have different expectations of each other
I just saw that they attempted to address this question. One of the reasons they couldnât form a conclusive answer is because there is no universal definition for what a friend is
A great tip about meeting potential friends that I got from Ellen Hendriksen's excellent book How to Be Yourself is to join a class or activity you're interested in anyway that meets regularly with the same people. She says research shows we tend to become friends with people we have physical proximity to over time (neighbor, roommate, classmate, work colleague, fellow volunteer, sports teammate, etc.). Talking to people in increments before, during, or after the activity offers lower-stress opportunities to interact and naturally segue to a longer chat (or beverage or meal, etc.) if an affinity is revealed. And if not, you still got to pursue an interest! đ
7:27 "mass transportation" -correction: private cars, streets, parking, driveways, vast empty spaces around highway interchanges, green strips and setbacks. Together these occupy 50% to 80% of urban areas, doubling the distance between us and making walking less feasible. Mass transportation carries 10-30x more people per lane. Cities with less car infrastructure and more mass transit have more space for housing, parks, shops, etc., making them more walkable.
I donât care if I have friends or do not have friends. What is all this friend-friend-friend malarkey of late? I in fact do not have any âfriendsâ I know a lot of people but love being solitary.
I feel I lack the skills I used to have of communication. I get stuck not knowing what to talk about with people. Face to face communication is definitely a skill to be on top of
Become a carer and you will soon end up with no friends. Makes life a lot less complicated though because at least you know where you stand. On the scrapheap in a world that tells you you're worth nothing if your skills are soft. Dehumanizing systems have made it like this
To have a friend in good times and bad times is very hard because people need to work on themselves their traumas to be there for you and a lot of people they donât even know they carry traumas. :)
I lost all my âfriendsâ and my âcommunityâ when i found out my husband was having an affair and wanted to separate/divorce⊠( i think that was more painful and harder to understand than the betrayal of my partner of 20yrs) I did learn that what I lost was âacquaintancesâ and began to build my tiny âvillageâ..
MONEY. Thatâs the answer. If you canât get money, you need money. Your friends arenât gonna give it to you. Theyâre struggling too. People are trying to make money in a system intentionally designed to congest employee mobility, rip people off, and slow down the employment process. We need a jobs program so anyone who gets fired can instantly get right back to work. So the problem is simple. Just create a system of respect that isnât based on bullshit, immobility, lies, and ripping people off.
Why are we not prioritizing our relationship with our spouses just as much as prioritizing friendships? We need to have that balance in our life with having both and prioritizing both. Loyalty cannot only be given to frienships.
I learned late that I have to ask myself who I'm comfortable opening up to. And if I don't feel comfortable being vulnerable with certain friends, why do I feel that way? It's an important question to ask. I have a long-term damaged friendship because it was one-sided; they relied on me too much, I gave for them to feel better but it made me feel worse because I didn't feel they respected me or my time. Boundaries were crossed and resentment built. I do have a trio of friends I can open up to, for the good and bad, and it feels healthier and reciprocal. Two of those people had also walked away from the same unhealthy friend.
Interesting point at the end there; feels similar to the idea that giving advice as a spectator is easier than when youâre in their situation. Kinda like do as I say not as I do. Or like saying easier is said than done.
I feel at 26 I just don't have the emotional capacity for new friends. I have a twin sister, my two best friends from school and my former roommate and the four of us are in constant contact through good times and bad and most likely always will be. I like everyone I work with and I'm happy to chat to people I meet, but I just don't need or want new friends, and I struggle a bit with people's expectations of me. Same goes for men, I'm just not emotionally available to strangers and would rather they left me alone. I love work from home.
Commonality is a key. Common interests that you can talk about. Not the symbiosis that can happen when people bond over similar wounds ie: growing up with alcoholic parents.
Join a club with something that youâre interested in or a class with something you want to learn. Thereâs lots of opportunities to meet friends if you donât have a lot of people at work to talk with. I have way too many friends, I wish I had less, so Iâd have more time for myself lol!
I have many friends that I catch up with once or twice a year consistently but none that I talk to every day besides my partner and none that I talk about my problems with. I find it extremely draining. Relationships takes too much toll and energy but Iâm happy with the people I can spend time with that I know are down to be with me when weâre free or friends whom schedule months ahead so we can see each other đ
Itâs insane to make friends bc when you actually will tell a job âI canât do that extra project i have a personal commitmentâ for a friendâŠ.. not only will very few people ever do that in turnâŠâŠ. They actually expect you to RESPECT and admire that they will put a job that will replace them in 10 seconds over their bonds with friends. And Iâm not talking about breadwinners supporting children or people in dire poverty that cannot afford to make errors at work. LikeâŠâŠ.. trust fund kids. With a BS job. Bc everyone knows their jobs are BS but need to pretend theyâre important. But the truth is most incompetent people can hold down a job. They canât hold down a friendship though.
I try to keep making friends. People come into and out of my life over time. Thatâs how life goes. Most of the time itâs not personal, we just see each other less but stay friendly. We go to different gyms or they move etc. I reach out to my friends when they have hard times and when I have hard times (or just need a ride to the car shop etc.) I know I can reach out to them too. I learned to not come off too eager, that makes people think youâre desperate, thatâs not attractive. Best to let it build over time.
Sir with all due respect youâre the exact person heâs talking about when heâs talking âfriends only there in the hard timesâ. I have a cousin who lives 7mins away from me but only calls me when he needs something. He never calls me to watch the game, never calls me to grab a drink, never calls me for anything but for when he needs something. Long story short he told my aunt he was upset I didnât make him my best man and my aunt was asking me if anything had happened between us that she is not aware of. I calmly told her, âthe fact that he canât come up to me and ask me himself lets you know where we really standâ. I say that to say this, reach out to your friends for nothing else but to have a good time with them too.
@@focusedallday5620 Actually Iâm a woman. :) I usually see my friends a couple times a week. Not all of my friends, just a few. I make a point to see them, we plan it out. Our kids play and we chat. I have about a dozen friends that would pick me up from the ER if I needed them to and I feel very fortunate to have them as friends. We donât always see each other because we are raising our kids around the clock. A lot of that dozen come into and out of my life, but itâs not due to lack of effort on my part. Maybe our kids donât get along. Or they move. I do what I can. I ask them about themselves. I tell them about myself. I invite them to do things up to a point. I donât pressure people. What else can you do?
I have four very close friends, many good friends and a lovely community. We often gather, eat and dance together. Itâs soooo sad seeing these comments from people who feel so superior that they would rather die alone than build friendships because they are so unique and worthy so they canât find a valueable human being outside of themself. What a sick approach to humans is this, what happened to the people??? All of my friends are different in many sense but this is the beauty of the whole concept of having friends !!!!
I am not sure about that. I was always cooking for "friends" with care, love and happy to served them. Once I couldn't cook because a health problem; they poof were gone. Probably wrong people?. Just convenience?. I am still cooking and giving anyway. đ·
Bizarre how this has cropped up on my timeline I'm at a stage in my life that I'm considering this very thing. I don't have freinds I have people around me that get something from me. Bizarrely the people who ate there for me I can't speak with because they exist in podcast land
I am slowly realising that I am a sociopath. I don't love or even like anyone but I'm good at getting people to like or at least act like that like me and use it to my advantage. It didn't mean to be like this, at least not on purpose, but I have turned out that way.
I don't want friends I have maybe 2 close friends and everyone else are acquaintances my partner is my closest friend and lover and I'm so happy with that.
Unknowning of this def of a friend, I've made relationships where I can share bad and good news. My problem is I always make JUST friends. I am straight. Noticed that I have amazing female friends who I can be with for the rest of my life but they are female. I have a few good male friends, I like them/ would be with them, I believe because they are taken. They are amazing humans, emotional, practical, available. There's no materialism involved with our friendship - money, status, education, family, cast, religion, culture. BUT TAKEN. I've never dated a guy who is a friend or did not continue being friends with the guy after being physically involved. I'm 24, expected of being with a guy by end of this year by family which sounds loca to me. Also never been in an exclusive relationship.
My argument to being with a guy is experience. All male friendships I've had and female are by attending school, college, university, work, family / friends gatherings. I am not open to an arranged situation because feel forced and society doesn't accept dating as a concept of choice/ compatibility and personal important 'spark/ click'.
Drop the apps and get out there! If it happens, great but I wouldnt try to make male friends. The vast majority are just covertly trying to make something happens. And by majority I mean 99%. Lets say 95% just to be sure Im not exagerating đ
Simon, the thighs part is a bit of a stretch. Strong leg muscles are obviously important for mobility, reducing fall risk, etc - but for friends? That's a small leap there
@@steve1085 did you not actually listen to what he said? This was before internet and cell phones became a thing. People actually made an effort to go over to their friends and touch grass
@@Bunny11344 I 100% listened and it still is a stretch. We didn't evolve strong leg muscles because we wanted to chat with people. We did it to survive. People with strong leg muscles were better fed, could run away from danger, fight, had stronger bones, and could live longer because of their physical abilities. Not because they could walk another mile or two. I like Simon, but this is a ridiculous take.
Been saying this when I see that Bryan Johnson cyborg-wannabe, he seems so isolated. Where are his friends? When does he just hang out and chill? Insecure is the wrong word but he seems so profoundly uneasy and kind of unsatisfied as a person. I agree with Simon that I bet he doesn't live well as long as he thinks he will as real validating respectful human socialising and connectedness is conspicuously missing from his regime. Further he's so precious and full of himself and high up on his high horse it's hard to see how he can integrate it.
"people who are depressed make tiktok videos by themselves" what a toxic thing to say by Simon says. I don't have tiktok, have literally reached out to friends when lonely, only to found out they don't care. This is a true story. After years of alone time, I've realized that many people are transactional or friends with you out of convenience. Hes basically saying to reach out when alone or depressed, which is valid to an extent. Depressed people may not have the kind of friend willing to hang out especially if those friends subscribe to toxic positivity culture (which says to cut out people who aren't positive all of the time). Depressed individuals often don't have the energy to keep up with fast paced or moving people, and most people do not have the capacity to be present with a depressed friend because it requires you to temporarily slow down and listen. Things aren't black and white Simon. The heart, lungs and thighs concept is interesting though. Maybe the more practical and helpful out of his blaming rhetoric.
I made a video about this not too long ago. People who donât have any friends at all are usually not good friends themselves⊠itâs not always everyone else, *sometimes itâs just you.
đș Watch the full episode here -
czcams.com/video/I3WUiD8HYn8/video.html&ab_channel=TheDiaryOfACEO
I think we're all too scared to bother other people. We don't want to appear needy or hard work. Makes making close friendships difficult.
Absolutely!!
I heard a great line in a song recently: "You don't make friends, you recognize them".
Share the title please đ
@@serenevision1831 Hiatus Kaiyote is the band, its on their latest, song is "make Friends". Great tune and great band! was surprised to see this here
In honesty, I don't agree with that at all. Friendships are built over time with effort.
â@@padanfain7466 First you need to recognize who you want to try to do that with
I have one friend. He's my husband. I have had loads of acquaintances, some really good ones, but friendship and I don't get along. Because I am a great listener, very empathetic and am capable of giving good advice and willing to help, I seem to attract only those who need to "unload" their worries and problems.
I have blood relatives, but not "real" family. I have been abandoned. And I'm okay with that.
What would happen if you lost your husband? What if you find yourself alone at 60? What if you find yourself alone at 60 after having no one for say, 10 or 15 years? I only ask because Iâm 63 and have had NO ONE for years. No friends, no family. Iâve been living with 6 herniated discâs and a spinal cord injury for 21 years. Being alone and being disabled is no fun. If you lose your husband then what? I had a wife, but she was an abusive person, diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder. She was no friend to me, let alone a wife. Those who have true friends and family that cares are truly wealthy and blessed. Being alone when youâre young or middle aged is one thing, but if you accept that now, how do you think you will feel in 20 years? Think about it.
@@molassescricket6663 I'm a carer for my partner who has a disability and have witnessed first and secondhand the discrimination he's been through, its opened my eyes and I've been genuinely shocked and appalled. I'm sorry your experience has been like this, I hope you don't mind if I ask you, what should be different, what kind of services or things could help in this situation?
That is so me.
@@molassescricket6663 I have thought about it. If he goes first, I will quickly follow. No hesitation.
Yes, I know that's not a good mindset, but it's the truth. I'm not going to beg anyone to pay attention to me. I refuse to be the one who always reaches out first. If no one reaches out to me, then they have proven themselves. I will not force myself into their lives. If they wanted me there, I would have been invited. I haven't been invited. đ€·
Ooo I was just going to say my best friend is my boyfriend. Now that Iâm older, Iâm more introverted and I donât put in the effort to maintain connection or friendships after gym and working. I just donât have the energy. Plus it takes a while to really trust someone
We don't call because we don't want to bother people.
And we donât want to be rejected in our most vulnerable moment.
Change your circle if your 'friends' make you feel like that. Change your perspective if it's you who feels like that.
I think good friends are rare, because people who have either gone to therapy or were raised by good parents that they didnât need therapy, are rare people. The rest of us are projecting our attachment wounds onto others. Iâm a really caring, open, empathetic and nurturing person by nature, but was raised by emotionally unavailable parents who constantly misunderstood and punished my neurodivergence. Et viola! My adult relationships have been a repeat of this until I got therapy. Once I learned to see that the people I kept around me werenât true friends not capable of being true friend, I weeded them out of my life one by one. I donât repeat the attachment trauma with them anymore, but there is barely anyone left to connect with because everyone is walking around shitting on each other, barely anyone has gone to therapy and nobody at least has good communication skills or conflict resolution skills. Itâs exhausting and lonely. You canât just watch a podcast and decide to be a good friend, everyone knows how to be a good friend thatâs not the issue, everyone is overcome by their own unresolved attachment wounds that get in the way.
My two children are both grown adults now. 23 and 20 years old respectively. They are both still living at home, but they pretty much live their own lives. We don't eat together, do activities together etc. anymore. We used to go skiing, wakeboarding, etc., but they have their own lives now. Recently I have found myself feeling very "empty", and I realized that a lot of it has to do with the fact that, for the last two decades, my life, and my wife's life, have been revolving predominatly around our children's needs, and now that they don't need us so much anymore, or really don't have much interest in "hanging out" with us, there is a void. Similar to the "service" issue Simon identifies. What I have found is, the more I help them with things like car repairs, university, car insurance, etc., I feel more fulfilled. I had thought that the whole idea was to get them to 18 years of age and set them loose, just like my wife and I did back in the 80s, but times have changed, and it seems harder for kids to make their way. Anyway, I guess my point is, the whole "empty nest" feeling (even though they still haven't physically left "the nest") is very much in line with the loss of "service". He's right. If you can find a way to provide assistance, whether it is to your children, a friend, or a complete stranger, your life becomes more meaningful. It's like Christmas, remember? It's better to give than to receive. As you grow older, nothing could be more true.
Sure I agree and I too try to help my children 19 and 18..but i urge you to help.yoirself more. Your children are far too old to be helped by daddy really as they will become horrible adults....sorry to say but I've met big kid adults that were looked after much more than they should have been and feel entitled to preferential treatment from everyone....basically narcissistic dick heads. All the best with it...get them to do all the housework , cooking, shopping for example....they should be looking after you now x
My boys are a similar age to yours, and a similar scenario. My (nearly) 20 year old has only just learnt to drive (required for his new job) - and this morning he text me that he made the hours drive, in the depths of winter, on rural roads, in the dark, safe and sound. I'm both relieved and also recognise that my trainee linesman son, is a man. My new role is "housekeeper" /cook
We find solice in talking to Allah (God) about our problems on top of talking to friends
Sometimes I try talking to God (not Allah) for reassurance. While he sometimes has all the answers I need, on other occasions he fails to respond. What's that all about?
@@naluswatasharifah6831thereâs no God but Jesus Christ. Allah is dead
The calling a friend in times of hardship every day is absolutely beautiful. I dont have that level of friendship with any1.
Few do, even fewer are genuine about it.
Be that friend to others and the world will welcome you in.
I couldnât listen after he called thighs an organ; maybe the whole muscular system is an organ according to what some scientists are saying but specifically the thighs? It seems that itâs the whole muscular skeletal system being strong
This guy is not up to par with your usual guests
Try the Samaritans.
â@@AnnAgurkisbroooo. Thighs are an organ like England is a city
Friends are overrated. Experience tells me that.
Friends who are like that - there when you need them, happy for you when you have reason to be happy - who several times got told what great friends they are - often are lonely. They give what they seek. What they hope to get in return. What they hope someone would do for them in return.
They understand that the world is a great mirror. It reflects back to you what you are. If you are a loving, friendly, and helpful person, the world will reflect love, friendship, and help. At the risk of sounding cliche, we all must be the change we wish to see.
That would be nice. Unfortunately narcissism is on the rise and those people who are great friends donât get back what they give very, very often, for narcissists are a bottomless hole one can never fill and that gives back nothing. They only pretend to be great and warm people when you meet them, but then itâs gone and only comes back when they feel like losing you. Itâs never a good, mutual friendship, but always .transactional and about whatâs in it for them. How useful you are. How much validation, support and supply they can drain from you.
@@TheOrignalTRockz It works the same for everyone. Sensible people won't entertain a narcissist for very long. The world is also a great mirror for the narcissist reflecting their actions back at them.
@@MrWill-ng8dg Unfortunately, thatâs wishful thinking; their victims feel trapped and get hooked due to the unforeseeable ârewardsâ in form of little bits of the former so called love bombing phase and their future faking lies and promises. You want to believe in a world where justice comes to everyone and only good behavior will succeed - but thatâs not how it is. Whoever is in a position of power knows this. Dig into narcissistic abuse to understand the issue. Especially covert narcissists, cultural narcissists, social and educational narcissists are hard to spot.
@@TheOrignalTRockz If you haven't seen it yet, Doctor Ramani's channel about narcissism has been so helpful to me! I grew up with a narc so inadvertently attracted lots of users (and some good people : - ) before figuring out that I have to consciously be less agreeable and flexible than my nature to ward off such predators. Now I consciously look for signs of instinctive reciprocity and empathy and if folks ain't got it, no matter how interesting they are I force myself to gray rock and be "busy" 'til they fade away in search of easier prey. May all the kindhearted people find equally kindhearted friends! đâ€
Unfortunately I grew up with narcissists so I was a magnet for them and chose them because they felt familiar. Therefore, just letting the communal narcissist non- friend go; knew 32 years, I feel sad and alone that I didnât know what I know now. I now have space for attracting healthy relationships.
So proud of you :)
Good for you,I have been around a lot of them and if you donât try, you let them steal your happiness
You make real friends when youâre down in the dumps and see who stays and supports you. Itâs all about each personâs capacity that they allow for someone to become a friend - too many offer little but want much, also too many offer much but get betrayed or taken advantage of⊠it a really sad state of the world we navigate in these days.
Sad that acts of service are lostđą
đą
I do ask people how are they. I keep up with them. I had depression since I was 12 (not diagnosed at the time), so I know what "alone" means. So I'm very aware of how I am with others, and try to not be clingy but also not too distant. But if I don't start conversation nobody does. If I need someone noone comes.
Like after my last baby was born, I moved back were "friends" lived. I needed someone. I felt so alone and overwhelmed and asked a few people to come just to eat cake and talk about whatever they wanted. I told them "look I need you, I'm not good." Only two people came, once. None of them call me or write to me after. I think they "had to" come and they felt that one and only visit was good enough.
Some "friends" never came. I was left alone by everybody.
It has been like this for ever. I was never part of any group. I was friends with everybody and everybody came to me for advice. I new everybody's secrets and they new I could be trusted. But still not a "regular" in any group. They would go out without me all the time and never ever came to my house.
As an adult it has been the same.
At 15 the panic attacks and anxiety started, none of them know.
At 25 my anxiety was so bad I was terrified of going outside.
Then social anxiety enters the chat đ
I'm alone and scared of people. Not a good combination.
A few years ago I started to let my little sister be my friend. She is 35 now so is not that little, but I'm 44 so I always saw her like "little"and never thought of asking her help. I thought I was the one that had to help her.
Unfortunately we live in different Countries and can't see eachother often.
She doesn't know how bad things are. She knows I'm not always ok, but I cannot bring myself to tell her how much, really.
It sucks.
Very hard.
Thank you for sharing this- I relate to it a lot myself. It gives me peace, in a way, to know that Iâm not the only one out there who is struggling with this. And at the same time it makes my heart hurt to know there are so many people out there experiencing the same. I hope things get better for you đ
Iâm with you ladies, a life time of it, 46 years so far. It is very hard. But we are not alone, remember there are people who understand.
So many people are egocentric.
So difficult to interact.
Exactly and u donât know what their ulterior motives they could use your vulnerability against you
Exactly! I have a group of friends who come over for UFC/Boxing fights every other Saturday that are closer to me than the own family members. I moved 2.5hrs away and my boys would come see me on schedule. Your friendships are like relationships, they require maintenance. Stay Focused!
I am that friend that would call to everyone, but I never get called back... đą
I'm used to it at my age. Im just doing my deed anyway because I care for all my homies
đą
@thatomofolo452 it sucks but I have a small group of people (5 total) who I consider close friends, so yea... đ€·
đ«
Then I'd stop calling.
Don't play the victim. If you really want to help others join the Samaritans. You'll not be short of callers.
The Greek word for friend is "ÏÎčλία" (filia), which is one of the highest forms of love.
Socrates said if you have one true friend in life, you are extremely lucky if you have two, you are blessed by the Gods because a true friend will give their life for you.
There are very few friends like that.
Agreed! A wise teacher of philosophy said basically what you said, that itâs almost impossible to have more than 6 true friends, that we are fortunate to have one true friend. Also, when the guest said he could tell 4 friends of his successes-and they would be happy for him- thereâs a good chance (based on odds) that a few are actually acquaintances, rather than true friends.
I hardly have any friends. I have kids to look after though. I'm serving them â€
As long as my thighs get me to my wife and kids Iâm good. Those folks are my best and quite possibly my only actual friends. They are here now and will always be until the end and that fills me with joy.
I donât have friends. During school time I have close friends but at some point I feel like I am being used. I am good when they needed me,if I am not needed they become distant. It kept going for a while then I stop talking to them and I didnât make new ones. I always took care people around me but people want to use you. I donât know anyone sincere.
I feel attacked by the headline!
Good comment đđ€
Same! It felt personal. I immediately clicked though because it's true.
đâïž
Let this be a call to action then. Call up an old friend or find a hobby that you can do with other people. Something small to put you on the right path.
Same đ
OMG yes - being able to call someone when things go good without getting the "must be nice" or great well anyway change topic. Big yes on mobility. Lack of mobility majorly makes a diff on getting out to see friends.
Absolutely loved this episode :)
Great guest, great conversation.
Making friends is very very easy, prioritize giving over getting and you will have the most wonderful friends in life 100% guaranteed one BUT it will take time to fish out the genuine people amongst the people who received.. relationships take time to develop so invest in time
Wow, that was really worthwhile! Thank you đ
Well articulated đđŸđđŸđđŸ something so simple yet we struggle to do it. So many are living in isolation when they have people who love and care about them and their wellbeing. But friendships go both ways, and takes effort.
Love this guy and the way he thinks and expresses his points đ
This short clip makes me wanna wstch the whole conversation. Well done.
I use to be that go to friend but I learnt the hard way. It really hurt me and I learnt to shield myself
Very insightful!!! Thanks for sharing.
Im there when i know something is wrong and there for support because I know how it feels when I need someone and no one is there. When everything is great, itâs wonderful.
We don't call people when we are depressed because we've learned the hard way they will not show up when we need them or in the way we need them...
So we are forced to look elsewhere & oftentimes elsewhere means nowhere and the loneliness experienced there is dangerous. I don't think is wrong for people to seek to post things on social media. It's literally a scream for help, support, attention, care. We just need to understand we've become that crappy as humans that we only pay attention to our inner world and social media. So going to social media IS us reaching out for help & support in the ONLY way people want to give you time & attention nowadays
Then you need better coping skills and work thru your depression offline. Thatâs the cold hard truth
I would argue that the reason we donât have the friends through the âgood timesâ is because people donât share as much in the good times as they need to do during the hard times. I have friends who I only hear from when they need to purge some struggleâŠnever to share in some joyous event. Maybe it is because I am a good listener..and people most need to be heard when they are in pain? Maybe because when we are in pain we seek sympathyâŠyet when in joy we feel expanded? People are more apt to share pain than joy.
The comments are far more insightful than Simon's remarks, imo. He's not good at nuance or context.
I stopped sharing negativity with friends unless I absolutely have to because I saw the impact it had on someone I loved
Some people need to be humbled to learn they have a negative impact on people
What is a friend? That word is thrown around without a clear definition of what it means. People unknowingly have different definitions and understandings of what being a âfriendâ means. If two or more people donât share the same definition of what a friend is then that friendship is likely at jeopardy because theyâre have different expectations of each other
I just saw that they attempted to address this question. One of the reasons they couldnât form a conclusive answer is because there is no universal definition for what a friend is
Well arguments and discourse comes from not having a clear definition, this is the first step to being to understand each other
Very true. The faster you figure out their definition the faster you can place them in the appropriate category of importance. Stay Focused !
Thanks for this information!
How do you find your guests? You always have such interesting people on your show. Thank you so very much!!
Simon shot to stardom originally with a Ted talk called 'Start with why'
A great tip about meeting potential friends that I got from Ellen Hendriksen's excellent book How to Be Yourself is to join a class or activity you're interested in anyway that meets regularly with the same people. She says research shows we tend to become friends with people we have physical proximity to over time (neighbor, roommate, classmate, work colleague, fellow volunteer, sports teammate, etc.). Talking to people in increments before, during, or after the activity offers lower-stress opportunities to interact and naturally segue to a longer chat (or beverage or meal, etc.) if an affinity is revealed. And if not, you still got to pursue an interest! đ
Friend, the one that is happy for my happiness, and the one that give me a shoulder to cry on. đ·
7:27 "mass transportation" -correction: private cars, streets, parking, driveways, vast empty spaces around highway interchanges, green strips and setbacks. Together these occupy 50% to 80% of urban areas, doubling the distance between us and making walking less feasible. Mass transportation carries 10-30x more people per lane. Cities with less car infrastructure and more mass transit have more space for housing, parks, shops, etc., making them more walkable.
Your right. This world is so lonely
I donât care if I have friends or do not have friends. What is all this friend-friend-friend malarkey of late? I in fact do not have any âfriendsâ I know a lot of people but love being solitary.
So many people arenât friends because they only call when they have a problem. Constant self centeredness
It depends on who you attract.
@@Prism_ism You don't have to attract the Samaritans.
I'd say it was you who wasn't the friend.
I feel I lack the skills I used to have of communication. I get stuck not knowing what to talk about with people. Face to face communication is definitely a skill to be on top of
Talk about everything happening around you. And all the books youâve read and news stories youâve seen and movies youâve watched.
Never skip leg day
Become a carer and you will soon end up with no friends. Makes life a lot less complicated though because at least you know where you stand. On the scrapheap in a world that tells you you're worth nothing if your skills are soft. Dehumanizing systems have made it like this
To have a friend in good times and bad times is very hard because people need to work on themselves their traumas to be there for you and a lot of people they donât even know they carry traumas. :)
I lost all my âfriendsâ and my âcommunityâ when i found out my husband was having an affair and wanted to separate/divorceâŠ
( i think that was more painful and harder to understand than the betrayal of my partner of 20yrs)
I did learn that what I lost was âacquaintancesâ and began to build my tiny âvillageâ..
MONEY. Thatâs the answer. If you canât get money, you need money. Your friends arenât gonna give it to you. Theyâre struggling too. People are trying to make money in a system intentionally designed to congest employee mobility, rip people off, and slow down the employment process. We need a jobs program so anyone who gets fired can instantly get right back to work. So the problem is simple. Just create a system of respect that isnât based on bullshit, immobility, lies, and ripping people off.
Why are we not prioritizing our relationship with our spouses just as much as prioritizing friendships? We need to have that balance in our life with having both and prioritizing both. Loyalty cannot only be given to frienships.
I learned late that I have to ask myself who I'm comfortable opening up to. And if I don't feel comfortable being vulnerable with certain friends, why do I feel that way? It's an important question to ask.
I have a long-term damaged friendship because it was one-sided; they relied on me too much, I gave for them to feel better but it made me feel worse because I didn't feel they respected me or my time. Boundaries were crossed and resentment built.
I do have a trio of friends I can open up to, for the good and bad, and it feels healthier and reciprocal. Two of those people had also walked away from the same unhealthy friend.
Interesting point at the end there; feels similar to the idea that giving advice as a spectator is easier than when youâre in their situation. Kinda like do as I say not as I do. Or like saying easier is said than done.
I feel at 26 I just don't have the emotional capacity for new friends. I have a twin sister, my two best friends from school and my former roommate and the four of us are in constant contact through good times and bad and most likely always will be. I like everyone I work with and I'm happy to chat to people I meet, but I just don't need or want new friends, and I struggle a bit with people's expectations of me. Same goes for men, I'm just not emotionally available to strangers and would rather they left me alone. I love work from home.
Beautiful video.
Commonality is a key. Common interests that you can talk about. Not the symbiosis that can happen when people bond over similar wounds ie: growing up with alcoholic parents.
Simon's new book "Thick Thighs Save Lives"
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Im so Glad I am from the Old School. Were we hold to things that works when everything else falls apart.
Join a club with something that youâre interested in or a class with something you want to learn. Thereâs lots of opportunities to meet friends if you donât have a lot of people at work to talk with. I have way too many friends, I wish I had less, so Iâd have more time for myself lol!
Most of the time I feel like Simon doesn't even listen the question and just have these random "stories" to tell that make no sense in practice.
I have many friends that I catch up with once or twice a year consistently but none that I talk to every day besides my partner and none that I talk about my problems with. I find it extremely draining.
Relationships takes too much toll and energy but Iâm happy with the people I can spend time with that I know are down to be with me when weâre free or friends whom schedule months ahead so we can see each other đ
1:30 because if you told work you can't go to work because you're hanging out with a friend , you'd get sacked?
When push come to shove they aren't there for
you. Just be your own friend.
Itâs insane to make friends bc when you actually will tell a job âI canât do that extra project i have a personal commitmentâ for a friendâŠ.. not only will very few people ever do that in turnâŠâŠ. They actually expect you to RESPECT and admire that they will put a job that will replace them in 10 seconds over their bonds with friends.
And Iâm not talking about breadwinners supporting children or people in dire poverty that cannot afford to make errors at work.
LikeâŠâŠ.. trust fund kids. With a BS job.
Bc everyone knows their jobs are BS but need to pretend theyâre important.
But the truth is most incompetent people can hold down a job. They canât hold down a friendship though.
better alone than with bad company
what is this?
I try to keep making friends. People come into and out of my life over time. Thatâs how life goes. Most of the time itâs not personal, we just see each other less but stay friendly. We go to different gyms or they move etc. I reach out to my friends when they have hard times and when I have hard times (or just need a ride to the car shop etc.) I know I can reach out to them too.
I learned to not come off too eager, that makes people think youâre desperate, thatâs not attractive. Best to let it build over time.
Sir with all due respect youâre the exact person heâs talking about when heâs talking âfriends only there in the hard timesâ. I have a cousin who lives 7mins away from me but only calls me when he needs something. He never calls me to watch the game, never calls me to grab a drink, never calls me for anything but for when he needs something.
Long story short he told my aunt he was upset I didnât make him my best man and my aunt was asking me if anything had happened between us that she is not aware of. I calmly told her, âthe fact that he canât come up to me and ask me himself lets you know where we really standâ. I say that to say this, reach out to your friends for nothing else but to have a good time with them too.
@@focusedallday5620 Actually Iâm a woman. :) I usually see my friends a couple times a week. Not all of my friends, just a few. I make a point to see them, we plan it out. Our kids play and we chat.
I have about a dozen friends that would pick me up from the ER if I needed them to and I feel very fortunate to have them as friends. We donât always see each other because we are raising our kids around the clock. A lot of that dozen come into and out of my life, but itâs not due to lack of effort on my part. Maybe our kids donât get along. Or they move. I do what I can. I ask them about themselves. I tell them about myself. I invite them to do things up to a point. I donât pressure people. What else can you do?
I have four very close friends, many good friends and a lovely community. We often gather, eat and dance together. Itâs soooo sad seeing these comments from people who feel so superior that they would rather die alone than build friendships because they are so unique and worthy so they canât find a valueable human being outside of themself. What a sick approach to humans is this, what happened to the people??? All of my friends are different in many sense but this is the beauty of the whole concept of having friends !!!!
Yeah i dont want someone calling at 9h45 everyday...i'll always put my phone on silent around that time eventually
Friends are people you share meals with, at each others homes, this is cause and effect.
I am not sure about that. I was always cooking for "friends" with care, love and happy to served them. Once I couldn't cook because a health problem; they poof were gone. Probably wrong people?. Just convenience?. I am still cooking and giving anyway. đ·
Yes, and that's the reason I don't have friends, and I don't need them
Unfortunately this is just not the case. For most. Facts.
Bizarre how this has cropped up on my timeline I'm at a stage in my life that I'm considering this very thing. I don't have freinds I have people around me that get something from me. Bizarrely the people who ate there for me I can't speak with because they exist in podcast land
Isn't having one true friend, your spouse, and your family, enough to be happy?
Nice thumbnail!
Eid mubarak, go visit your friends
I am slowly realising that I am a sociopath. I don't love or even like anyone but I'm good at getting people to like or at least act like that like me and use it to my advantage. It didn't mean to be like this, at least not on purpose, but I have turned out that way.
I have very few expectations when it comes to friends. In fact, I don't really care that much. If I'm feeling needy, I just call the Samaritans.
I don't want friends I have maybe 2 close friends and everyone else are acquaintances my partner is my closest friend and lover and I'm so happy with that.
What a friend we have in Jesus đ
Unknowning of this def of a friend, I've made relationships where I can share bad and good news. My problem is I always make JUST friends. I am straight. Noticed that I have amazing female friends who I can be with for the rest of my life but they are female. I have a few good male friends, I like them/ would be with them, I believe because they are taken. They are amazing humans, emotional, practical, available. There's no materialism involved with our friendship - money, status, education, family, cast, religion, culture. BUT TAKEN.
I've never dated a guy who is a friend or did not continue being friends with the guy after being physically involved.
I'm 24, expected of being with a guy by end of this year by family which sounds loca to me. Also never been in an exclusive relationship.
My argument to being with a guy is experience. All male friendships I've had and female are by attending school, college, university, work, family / friends gatherings.
I am not open to an arranged situation because feel forced and society doesn't accept dating as a concept of choice/ compatibility and personal important 'spark/ click'.
Your a good person. You will find someone
Drop the apps and get out there! If it happens, great but I wouldnt try to make male friends. The vast majority are just covertly trying to make something happens. And by majority I mean 99%. Lets say 95% just to be sure Im not exagerating đ
I am not understanding the point when Steve said about rising of islam (in full video)?
After 69 years of living I consider this a very complex topic.
Let's get the tissues out đđ°đąđ....
better than begging people to be your friendđ
Simon, the thighs part is a bit of a stretch. Strong leg muscles are obviously important for mobility, reducing fall risk, etc - but for friends? That's a small leap there
He meant mobile enough to walk to friends and live longer back in the day
@@Bunny11344 yes, and I think that correlation is quite a stretch. Walking to see friends is very low on the survival benefits of strong leg muscles.
@@steve1085 did you not actually listen to what he said? This was before internet and cell phones became a thing. People actually made an effort to go over to their friends and touch grass
@@Bunny11344 I 100% listened and it still is a stretch. We didn't evolve strong leg muscles because we wanted to chat with people. We did it to survive. People with strong leg muscles were better fed, could run away from danger, fight, had stronger bones, and could live longer because of their physical abilities. Not because they could walk another mile or two. I like Simon, but this is a ridiculous take.
If you have a background of Trauma or Autism, your aloneness or loneliness can be helped. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.đ
Been saying this when I see that Bryan Johnson cyborg-wannabe, he seems so isolated. Where are his friends? When does he just hang out and chill? Insecure is the wrong word but he seems so profoundly uneasy and kind of unsatisfied as a person. I agree with Simon that I bet he doesn't live well as long as he thinks he will as real validating respectful human socialising and connectedness is conspicuously missing from his regime. Further he's so precious and full of himself and high up on his high horse it's hard to see how he can integrate it.
5:40 is timestamp
I have not a lot of friends, sadly.
"people who are depressed make tiktok videos by themselves" what a toxic thing to say by Simon says. I don't have tiktok, have literally reached out to friends when lonely, only to found out they don't care. This is a true story. After years of alone time, I've realized that many people are transactional or friends with you out of convenience. Hes basically saying to reach out when alone or depressed, which is valid to an extent. Depressed people may not have the kind of friend willing to hang out especially if those friends subscribe to toxic positivity culture (which says to cut out people who aren't positive all of the time). Depressed individuals often don't have the energy to keep up with fast paced or moving people, and most people do not have the capacity to be present with a depressed friend because it requires you to temporarily slow down and listen. Things aren't black and white Simon.
The heart, lungs and thighs concept is interesting though. Maybe the more practical and helpful out of his blaming rhetoric.
For the first question I do neither and definitely not the Tiktok. I aim to solve whatever myself.
I think this video is about me. SPECIFICALLY. I am being dragged. Mr Shadenfreude? Wow!
I donât have friends cos I donât prioritize being a good friend.
Me too now. Iâm more focused on being there for my family and being a good girlfriend I just donât have time for friends
Loaners are the best people
So where do you find these good friends??
I don't have many friends and I don't have tiktok. What am I lol. I would call a friend but I value their boundaries and don't want to bother them
â€
Love Simon, but the thigh thing seems like a stretch to say it is to walk to see your friends. đ€
JESUS CHRIST is the definition of GOD, savior and a real friend
i dont want any friends which is why i have noneđ
Do I need to have a friend?
I am my own best friend.
I made a video about this not too long ago. People who donât have any friends at all are usually not good friends themselves⊠itâs not always everyone else, *sometimes itâs just you.