Married & Alone: Step Two of the Twelve Steps | Dr. Doug Weiss
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- čas přidán 26. 08. 2021
- For the Married & Alone Step Guide: www.drdougweiss.com/product/m...
For the Married & Alone Workbook/Exercises: www.drdougweiss.com/product/m...
Buy the Pain for Love DVD here: www.drdougweiss.com/product/p...
To watch the rest of the Married & Alone series, check out this playlist: • Married & Alone: 12 St...
If you’re married to someone with intimacy anorexia, who’s withholding emotionally, spiritually, and sexually from you, you feel alone and feel disconnected. The pain and even trauma you experience from this are real.
With Step Two, it about coming to believe in a power greater than ourselves to restore you to sanity. It's not easy but choosing to believe that this is happening to you is a good step in the right direction. It means that you have accepted reality and can now do something about it.
Choosing to believe in a power greater than ourselves is a process. We can't deal with this situation by ourselves. It takes believing in a single power greater than you, any person or group, and any created thing; a power that loves you and wants the best for you. Even if you don't have any religious or spiritual training, you can do this. You can engage in a relationship with this being, who can restore you to sanity, who can help you heal. Your spouse may not want to recover, but you can.
You are worthy of someone who really loves you. When you believe that, it helps you become sane. It takes time to come to believe, but you can.
For more information about Partner Betrayal Trauma, go to: partnerbetrayaltrauma.org
Married & Alone phone group: www.drdougweiss.com/married-a...
Married & Alone support group for female partners of male Intimacy Anorexics:
/ marriedandalone
Married & Alone support group for male partners of female Intimacy Anorexics:
/ supportgroupsaia
Married & Alone book and DVD:
www.drdougweiss.com/product/m...
www.drdougweiss.com/product/m...
Visit intimacyanorexia.com/ for more information.
Also, we have a test you can take to determine if Intimacy Anorexia® is the issue in your marriage. Take the test here: intimacyanorexia.com/ia-test/
If you're the partner of an Intimacy Anorexic®, we call that Married and Alone. You can check out the series of books Dr. Weiss has written on that subject here:
www.drdougweiss.com/product/m...
For information on marriage counseling and intensives, go to www.drdougweiss.com/counseling/
For a full list of Dr. Doug’s products, go to www.drdougweiss.com/store/
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, Partner Betrayal Trauma ™.
You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, www.drdougweiss.com/ or on his Facebook / drdougweiss
by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at heart2heart@xc.org
To watch the rest of the Married & Alone series, check out this playlist: czcams.com/play/PLoQAJVqvxAfhoYq-6aM64aOd6N8OAUSPK.html
Doc I've been married and alone for 40 years and believed it was all my fault, I have always believed that my vows were said before God, and He has sustained me throughout those years. thanks so much for giving me understanding. Margot
You're welcome. I'm sorry that you have had to deal with all this pain. If you haven't already, you can join one of our Married & Alone support groups over the phone or on Facebook.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
My life slso....
You know what? I realize now that all of us do not know how to love any ways so long time ago I ask God to show me how because I didn't know how to love like Him. And I surrender totally to Him and He was teaching me how so those were the best years if my married life. But my love grew cold again so I start begin for love again and I think I have to go back and give my husband unconditionally love again. ❤ With God's help. He doesn't know how to love like I don't know either
You have been a Godsend in helping me understand my feelings of neglect within my marriage. I thought I was crazy and needy, but your vídeos validate what I have been feeling along. Im not crazy, im starved emotionally for over almost 2 decades. Ive finally reach my breaking point and decided to work on myself. Going to buy your book Married and Alone. Thanks for all these wonderful resources. I will also join your fb group.
Thank you from India. I've watched 3 videos by you about Intimacy Anorexia in the past few hours and I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I've been married over 12 years and till now I felt all our problems were my fault due to my depression, PTSD and other heath issues that I have. Your videos have given me a ray of hope, and I will do everything I can to follow the 12 step guide. I'm also joining the fb support group. Thank you once again - I cannot say this enough!
You're welcome. I'm glad that you have found hope in these videos and having chosen to connect with others to receive the support you need. I pray all goes well on your journey towards healing.
I so wish, there was a non 12 steep program. Even with just the word power, the concept can be so triggering for those of us with highly layered religious trauma.
Dr. Weiss, I have travelled the universe to find your method. I am genuinely hopeful which is an unfamiliar feeling.
Thank you so very much
You are so welcome and I hope you find the rest of the series helpful.
I found this video while watching videos about sex addiction of a partner. I didn't even know this was a "thing". I thought that was just part of the sex addiction. So, I went over to Facebook and submitted a request to join the group. It feels like I got smacked by a board to hear this. And I get the feeling I am going to need all the help I can get
After 21 years, last month … was going to leave… kids grown… found your videos, ordered the CDs for husband, and book, he’s watching them… though he says “I don’t think it’s me”, Although as his wife, I have no question about what I’ve been trying to live with/without. He says he will continue to watch the videos, has been “trying”. If I hadn’t found your videos I would have left. To my husband’s credit, he prayed with me that we would figure out what we needed. And the next day I found your videos. Thank you.
So my question is, will it take time before he’s willing to learn and admit that a problem exists? How much patience … I feel like I’ve given 20 + years of patience with his cold and occasionally warm to keep me.
He can watch the DVD on Intimacy Anorexia. If he sees it get in a group or counseling, there is still hope. Also, you might want to start on your healing from this trauma. Please join join one of our groups www.drdougweiss.com/facebook-groups/
@@DrDougWeiss Thank you so much, I will
Do you have a series about seperation/divorce when you don't want to but get to a point where you simply can't handle being marrie and alone anymore because your spouse simply aren't growing, changing or also doing the work to move forward. I can't keep doing the work alone. And I simply cannot change him, truly I'm powerless.
I'm sad to hear that you are going through this. This is a difficult situation indeed. You are right in that you can't change him. He has to be willing to change for things to change. If he is unwilling, then he won't.
Regarding your question, yes, we have the DVD "Why Do I Stay, When It Doesn't Make Sense" which validates what you are going through and provides guidance on evaluating your situation and what to do. You might find the DVD "He Needs to Change" helpful as well.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/why-do-i-stay-dvd/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/he-needs-to-change-dr-weiss-dvd/
If you need support, my team here at Heart To Heart Counseling Center is more than ready to help you and provide encouragement and guidance. Please reach out to us at 719-278-3708, and we will connect you with one of our certified counselors. You can also join our Married & Alone Facebook group as well. You don't have to go through this alone.
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
thank you for posting this.... I feel the videos help me get through the day, feel less crazy while I try to process, understand and find my way.... I did have a question, I thought this support system was Christian based, but when you began speaking of 'higher' power I was confused. Are you just trying to open it up for people to receive it if they are not Christian? Or work through that we can change even if they do not and we don't have to just stay married because we took vows and married in God's name?
I am a Christian. The steps were originally written in the 1930s so I am expounding on them.
What Facebook groups do they have for married and alone? I have the book I need the workbook.
Married & Alone support group for female partners of male Intimacy Anorexics:
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
@@DrDougWeiss Is there also a group for men?
@@AdamRiccinto Yes, we have a Facebook group for married & alone men for support.
facebook.com/groups/supportgroupSAIA/
I have dealt with an alcoholic my whole marriage and I only recently found out about intimacy anorexia, which has been an issue most of our marriage too. He is now in recovery from alcoholism and I thought the other issue would shift too. It has not and I would say worse because he has even more somade the conscious effort not to have sex since. This has confused me even more. We recently were intimate after a long pause and today told me he feels "wrong" for being "animalistic" with me, his wife. He told me not to take it personally. I'm even more confused. I don't know how he can tell me he loves me but not want to connect. Where do I go from here?
Intimacy Anorexia is a separate addiction process which needs its own recovery program. As a married & alone spouse, your trauma is real. You might start with the Married & Alone book/DVD and workbook, along with joining a phone support group.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-book/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-dvd/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/married-alone-healing-exercises-workbook/
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
We also have a Married & Alone Facebook group you can join as well. You are not alone in this.
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
I don’t have the money to go to Colorado, an there is no one near me to help me. What an where can I get help? Ty
We have support groups for over the phone and on Facebook available. You can also do regular phone counseling with us by calling us at 719-278-3708 to schedule an appointment.
www.drdougweiss.com/married-and-alone-group/
facebook.com/groups/MarriedandAlone/
You can also check our list of certified therapists across the US and beyond to see if there is one in your area.
aasat.org/find-therapist/
@@DrDougWeiss I was under the impression you charge for your groups. Are they free?
S anon and COSA are free online resources that are 12 step groups for those betrayed by their partners. Since my original comment was deleted that listed more specific free online resources that helped me I'll just leave it at those.
@@tbbart6463 We do charge for the phone support groups (you can call us to see prices and time meet ups since they vary), but the Facebook support groups and our local support groups in our building are free.
Are the comments private?
No, CZcams comments are public. You can call my counseling center at 719-278-3708 or email us at heart2heart@xc.org and my staff would be happy to help you or schedule you with a counselor/coach, as well as provide information on helpful resources.