Being Awkward, Confidence, and Vulnerability ft. hJune
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- čas přidán 29. 07. 2024
- Dr. K's Guide releases August 18th! bit.ly/37CPHv0
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▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:00:00 Intro
00:00:16 Wanting Closer Relationships + Hard To Open Up
00:12:09 Not Being Satisfied With Being Average
00:22:40 Moving Goalposts
00:36:12 Awkward in Conversations
00:49:23 Alexithymia
01:02:35 Vulnerability
01:16:02 Confidence
01:26:40 Emotions
01:35:12 Meditation
Be sure to check out @hJune's channel and stream and thank him for coming on! / hjune
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#hjune
![Lilypichu music stream with Wendy, Leslie, Harrison (hJune) & Micheal Reeves [27 July 2021]](/img/n.gif)
“Every man is happy until happiness is suddenly a goal”
Damn, that really hit home!
"I dont like small talk, so like even at the first step, its doomed"
Thats me
same haha i'm 10 minutes in and nodding vigorously to almost everything he's said (except... i'm decent at small talk, it's just boring af)
@Some Words tbh I feel like some people just don't want to participate in the small talk
wOW THATS SO DEEP. GOOD FOR YOU
I hate small talk, but I have no problem with close relationships. Small talk and deep talk it's two totally different things for two totally different groups of people in my life.
@@goblinodds 100% agreed.
Ahhh emotional neglect, the invisible silent killer of the mind. I relate to June so much- holding back from vulnerability, always striving to be better, listening to others open up but not doing the same, despising small talk, etc. Masking up to copy social norms of showing emotion etc bc you were never taught or displayed that from parents 🙃 it's so bad I don't feel people I've known for YEARS truly know me and I'm terrified of making new friends and dating
Wow I relate to literally every single word you wrote. You described it perfectly.
fucking truuuuu holy shit
But, I'm the exact opposite :(
This explain why even tho I'm mentally broken with all insecurity, anxiety, depression episodes I'm still manage to socialize to a certain degree, its not that i'm getting better or its all in my head it was just a mask to hides the pains.
Also, my advice to you is to choose someone that you trust, at least relatively, and start sharing your emotions with them at your pace. It doesn't have to be anything big, just start using the vocabulary of emotions. When I did that I found that I had to work just as hard with positive emotions as with negative ones, and that made me understand that I'm not actually hiding something terrible that's inside of me, I was just not used to sharing anything. That friend became the first person to know me, at 24.. and I've come a long way since.
"I don't usually do facecam." "Okay. let me make some adjustments"
Something so small, yet means so much. Thats appreciated.
@@KingKrish its Dr K's layout of the stream that needed adjustment.
@@KingKrish Some people will have some bad anxiety over something as small as showing their face. Dr.K making accomodations, and not just that, but so effortlessly as if he would do anything to make someone comfortable and happy is a very big thing. It shows me that theres more to him than to just come to his job, help patients, and then make money on the side with streaming. He cares far more into this than we realize and sometimes, more than we give him credit for.
I'm just really appreciative of this man and what he does to accomodate people when rough patches come up.
@@quaek possibly you should ?
@@quaek Why is it a waste?
Idk man, it's an obvious thing to do, like you'd have to be very unreasonable not to do what Dr K did. So I feel like you wrote this comment to get attention by using Dr K as bait rather than truly point out something cool.
The patience Dr K has is unmatched
truly a paragon of proper psychotherapy and counseling, I admire him so much 🔆
54:29 describes why the internet defaults to "cringe" anytime they have an uncomfortable feeling they don't know how to express.
When he said he's asian. My mind went straight to being emotionally neglected lol Most Asian households are that way. You don't think you have childhood trauma because it's invisible, and that makes it difficult for you to connect with others emotionally.
He sounds like a sociopath to me
@@beeftestosterone4840 Rust will do that to you after you pass like 3000 hours lol
@@beeftestosterone4840 yeah, he could be
@@beeftestosterone4840 do you even know what a sociopath is? google some words sometimes
@@beeftestosterone4840 wtf lmao
It is so impressive how Dr. K always takes a minor detail from earlier and ties it to the point he is making so effortlessly. Its fascinating how he manages all those different parts of the conversation and knows exactly when to put 2 and 2 together and its like at that moment everyone is aware he has hit a key point.
I think he takes notes. Or I thought he would in other videos
and he can nitpick anything, he knows exacatly which buttons to press
me during the interview: SAY YES SAY YES SAY YES
hJune: hmmm mnah I don't think so
I liked this interview because I couldn’t predict what hJune was gonna respond with most times
Me too!!
It was super frustrating, but at the same time 100% understandable, it's really hard understanding what you actually want from yourself
"You know SHEEESH could be a mating call. Today I was in the gym showering and a bunch of dudes came in..."
Dr. Ks face here was hilarious. 1:31:30
Dr K's next line is also 🔥. "Let that Pogchamp within you out" 😂
Good lord, this interview mapped me out almost 1 to 1. I feel my origins were a little different, but the overall outcome/feelings/punchlines all felt like direct hits to my brain. Thank you so much for this interview 🙏❤
At 1:17:38 I had such a MASSIVE breakthrough watching this! The more I prep, read, study, try to align my ducks in a row before I take ANY step, even if I pull off what I'm trying to do - write a novel, get good with women, etc. - even if all goes according to plan, this is DESTROYING my confidence, because it wasn't the "real me" that did it, it was the "right moment" that did it.
This interview made my brain hurt. June is so intelligent but he also doesn’t open up enough even to Dr K and we know that’s because he doesn’t know how to. What an interesting episode. :)
hJune did my interview for me, and I didn’t even need to sign up for this. This one hit home the hardest for me
I absolutely hate small talk. I don't think I'm bad at it, I just find it boring. It's gotten to the point where I reflexively go into autopilot when someone tries to do small talk with me. I'm doing automated responses and not remembering what they said a minute ago. I'd like to change that so I can actually get to interesting conversations. It's been difficult to say the least.
I think autopilot is the problem. If it’s on autopilot it’s the attitude of ”let’s get this over with as quick as possible so we get to the important stuff”. It’s good to practice making it fun to talk about everday stuff, like commenting on the way someone said something, or the specific word choice, language is incredibly rich, blow it out of proportion and make an assumption about them, which can start a whole interesting conversation about who they are and who you are. A conversation is not just a logical sequential exchange of factual information, you are in it for something emotionally relevant. For example when telling a story, too much honesty confuses the facts, means you have to take a bunch of detours in order to be factual, that end up ruining the momentum of the story. Or you can be silly with language, make word puns, repeat words that sound comical or annoying (if you’re a little sadistic like me), or if you’re given a sarcastic answer or giving one, stick with that frame of mind and don’t abandon it immediately, silly banter about ridiculous premises is some of the most fun you can have (it gets exponentially funny).
If you hate small talk you are probably bad at it. Small talk is all aboug reading between the lines, saying things without saying them directly, learning more about a person by how they carry themselves and how they do small talk themselves. It's all about subtext and reading between the lines to get to know people.
That’s not a problem to fix man. Autopilot usually what happens during work. Just learn to make small talk with yourself so it’s easier because you won’t filter out all this stuff and it appears as a problem to you when there is no problem at all. P.S: know the difference between small and big problems otherwise you just waste everyone’s time.
there are 2 kinda of small talks, one that you do just for the gesture and doing it because you have to, and there's the one where you want to actually engage with other people and get to know them on the other deeper level.
Getting to the core in under 10min, way to go!
It was a bit frustrating in the middle, but Dr. K came through. Very nice interview.
I didn't expect to listen to the entire stream. Really great progression of the conversation. I wasn't sure where it was going at first, but things just seemed to make sense and just clicked one after the other.
i wasnt expecting it, but this is one of the best interviews on this channel. june is very thoughtful
I *demand* an emote wheel to match the emotional wheel, because I would like to know what facial expressions to use when conveying certain emotions. LOL
Emojis? 🤔
@@goldan_tv "...because I would like to know what facial expressions to use when conveying certain emotions."
Brilliant idea. I definitely need a wheel when I'm making a face like an emoji but don't know what I'm feeling or what it's called. 🤷🏻♀️
@Man Hathaway funny comment but perhaps you don't realize that not everyone's mind "tells" their face to show emotion, or maybe even inhibits their face from showing emotion in certain situations (because of ther neurology, trauma, or other reasons). For example, some autistic folks have to reassure people that they're interested or happy or whatever during a conversation because their face isn't showing it. This is especially true of autistics who haven't learned to/don't feel the need to mask their autistic traits as a coping mechanism.
harrison is always such an upstanding and funny guy, so it was great to see him vulnerable like this. great interview, great interviewee 🙂
This is the first interview I've ever watched from Dr. K, and it helped me A LOT. This guy's issue with awkwardness and difficulty to open up to others is very similar to my current situation, so it made me reflect about myself in ways I hadn't done before. Thanks for that.
"i have no trauma and there hasn't been a significant highlight of my life yet"
I relate to that SO badly. and to being emotionally moderate because of that. it feels like your emotions have NOTHING to grasp onto and you always feel like your just grasping at straws when your being emotional.
Well yea, it's way easier not to feel anything than to feel emotions and have no connection, especially when 1-4 and ita your parents. That's the rationalization at least
honestly... you don't want the trauma.
@@manhathaway i don't feel like a new person though. If you asked me what's changed since i was a kid i would literally have no answer.
If you asked me about my personality i would come up blank
I've been working on discerning my emotions, this was a very relatable and interesting talk! Thank you for sharing.
I think I can somewhat relate to how he feels about this. Ever since I’ve put more thought and time into understanding myself, I’d say I made some good progress. However, at times it just doesn’t feel enough or I find a new thing to work on, so what initially feels good turns into an ongoing pattern in itself. Logically, I understand there should be a balance between accepting oneself and making strides toward improvements, and I look forward to watching the rest of this discussion just for sake of understanding a little better.
I really needed this. I've felt like I can't connect to feelings about things that feel awkward or unpleasant. I feel it internally, but I can't put it out there.. listening to this interview made me realize how I identify to Jun. And finally put emotions to the lack of emotions I was feeling. It's such a relief to get through the fog and realize what's hidden behind all that. I even loved the meditations. I really loved this whole episode. Thank you!
@@GreenAmongGrey *wut*
how does this comment come before the videos publish date? lol
@@saturationstation1446 yeah what tf
Timetraveler our first one ladies and gents. On a serious note, it's real nice to get out of the fog glad you got there to :)
This video was originally up on the "interviews" playlist as "unlisted". There were still a couple hundred views and at least 2 other comments written before I watched it a few weeks ago.
So I see now that the video is no longer "unlisted" so I suppose that change gave a new publish date.
😅
I really did get so much out of this interview.
It's been in the back of my head the last 2 or so weeks. And I've been reevaluating the importance of naming my feelings.
Jun is really relatable about avoiding conflict and avoiding feeling awkward.
So I really got a lot out of this video.
And I'm so glad it's now publicly available for everyone else to see.
bruuuuhhhhhh... the alexythimic part was getting very relatable, and at the end of it and at the beginning of the vulnerability section i was going "holy shit so true bestie" in my head and pausing the video to collect my thoughts each time dr k spoke. this dude's a word magician
Im scared shitless to being vulnerable, its like im going to get emotionally killed, ridiculed, betrayed and left out if i do, like i wont survive. Im going to actively seek for awkwardness from now on, if I dont get comfortable in being uncomfortable i dont think i will be able to talk.
I used to think an interview with Dr. K might help, but it'd probably be really frustrating and unproductive, so I'd be afraid to do it. Thank god there's someone exactly like me who went through an interview, but better at communicating kekw
June sounds so much like Byron/Reckful, down to even they way he ponders on a thought or idea. You can hear the genuine reflection in his voice
This helped me a lot thank you June and Dr. K
It's interesting to observe how Dr K navigates the conversation towards the key issues related to the guest complexes, yet he never blatantly expresses what he himself thinks is the reason. I feel like it's super intuitive for a viewer to see what's up, but I guess for a guest to recognize his own flaw/toxic belief it requires a lot of effort to even consider that he could be wrong.
Kudos Dr K, it's very satisfying to see how you work.
It feels like he was neglected his whole childhood, espeacially he has way older sibings, like getting good grades was not recognized which he needed. Also like he was loved but it was not the type of love he needed.
i've watched two minutes of this interview and i feel like i'm gonna relate a lot
bruh I relate to him so much. I have friends and it isn't that hard for me to make friends but I feel I'm distancing myself even around people I'm so comfortable with T.T
I’m just now 30 minutes in and all I can feel dr. K subtly getting frustrated more and more. I would never have such patience. Way to go!
this was so enlightening also that seeesh story was funny as hell, really cool how it connected
“its….rusting his emotions” lmao chat
It’s really meta listing to peoples lives who I can so highly relate to, especially when they’re older than me. It feels as if I’m looking at what my life would become if I don’t make changes.
33:30 I get this feeling a lot where i dont want to let them see that im ugly on the inside when i am already ugly on the outside.
Thank you so much for posting this. I'm 21 and have never had a serious relationship outside of some very infrequent sexual encounters, and I'm in the exact same situation this guy was in without realizing it. Grade-wise in college and everything. I know what I have to do now.
The talk about risk avoidance and not wanting anyone hurt makes me think about my future of wanting to be a therapist. I wanna give people the space they need to talk about their issues but I'm scared of being involved in a severe or critical situation and someone dying in the immediate anxiety and just saying the wrong stuff a little deeper in and not having the footing I'd need to make a difference
makes sense, it is a difficult thing to do. i wanted to pursue psychology in my earlier days, but realized i did not have enough of strength to forgive myself if i wasn't able to hold up someone else in a critical moment.
1:17:58 Waiting until you're "good enough", then doing it vs doing it in spite of not feeling like you're good enough to do it (confidence).
- Dr. K brings up his personal experience of providing medical assistance on the spot (using knowledge from college) despite not having much professional experience as a doctor yet. He did his best despite knowing he did not have much professional experience to back him up in handling the situation.
-To activate the pineal gland(third eye), come into meditation without expecting to experience anything. Let yourself go, be vulnerable, and open up to the world around you.
I needed this thank you.
I started weird but it turned out to be a very funny and warm interview, loved it!
i really love this interview so much. thank you Dr. K and June ❤
" And if you're trying to figure out how you feel when I'm about to say what I'm gonna say- *the answer is terror* "
The way he said that was so visceral. It felt like he yelled "terror" without raising his voice. I actually got a little scared for a split second.
1:38:38 Omg this completely changed meditation for me and really changed my perspective on meditation... It's making so many things I couldn't understand about meditation click..
12:58
comment from later: checkmate 😂😯
23:39
25:19
27:53
32:57 😳 belief: 'that youre not good enough..'
51:11
52:35
56:26
57:06 just dont want any bad blood w anyone, want all my interactions to be positive
'thats why youre not going to open up to anyone.'
59:38 not an emotion aw 😂
1:04:26 control
1:11:11
1:13:10 hit
1:17:25 waiting until its perfect so theres no risk of failure
1:18:13 is there a doctor here? o sh
realise youre enough in the present
1:26:27 to stop running away from awkwardness, what are u saying to evoke 'awkward', unpack awkwardness
feelings wheel
developing own vocab w streamer language 😲 FEELINGS WHEEL LOL
CONCRETE ADVICE: 1st instinct to join 'SHEESH' from the shower room
why not?
BC THAT WOULD MAKE IT 'AWKWARD' 😂
future, join in!!
1:33:20 😂 face
1:37:20 back sit up straight for meditation, like a pipe that water flows through
1:46:33 allow ur mind to naturally empty,
body & mind - tolerance to a constant stimuli,
feel shirt on body, sensation later stops
focus on breath, less feeling of body
1:48:36
j: i dont think i can reach that point
k: sounds like u may not be good enough 🧐😂
sometimes when working out/dancing/singing, become one w the practice, u lose yourself in it, u become a dancing elemental
kinesthetic, sense of body, yoga/tai chi to ease mind, requires focus on the present when balancing
1:50:26 pick it up again!
1:51:22 bro u up!!
loosened up, it takes some time man!
roll some dice 🎲 i will roll, even if the roll's not perfect!
U are *enough* !
☺
heartwarming to see how june gradually became more comfortable and in touch with/identifying those emotions
those video are so interesting and important to me! thank you Dr. K and any1 being brave enough to make those conversation available to any1
nice to see that ur adding chat. cheers
EQ Emotional Intelligence
I hear you June because growing up as an Asian myself with my traditional cultures living in USA. Thank you for sharing! Namaste 🙏
This was such an awesome ride!! I could relate a lot even when I'm a girl. It was awesome how Dr. K navigated to certain corners of his mind and feelings!! This was enlightening for me!
I just like every one of Dr. K's videos because all of them are awesome :D
Just a gut feeling, but maybe he misses having a sort of "community" or "family of friends" that's meaningful and he can go to? Just picking this from hearing him talk about wanting better/more deep friendships and not feeling satisfied when he doesn't have a game he is really passionate about.
I thought the same
Yeah he's kinda a simp, a little too giving and lenient at times. He meet a new friend group that he really likes, and he wants to get close to them asap, he flew to los angeles last month randomly to meet them. I think he's being impatient or/and doesn't realize that he's the new guy entering an established friend group that known each other longer.
He also has a unique idea of opening up, he thinks conflicts will make you open up. But he hates conflict, so he probably assume he can never open up since he's scared of conflicts.
I think he doesn't feel satisfied because of what he does for a living and his life so far. Being a big 6'2ft guy, easygoing, multi-talented/jack of all trades, had a happy childhood, loving parents, being the youngest child, playing video games for a living and making a lot of money from it. I assume it's been a fairly mild journey thus far.. He also doesn't challenge himself, not very inquisitive and tend to be complacent. This is just based on what he said about himself and what I've observed.
@@NaNa-wy2tk you are kind of assuming a lot from a 2 hour talk lol also great opening line with calling somebody a simp for no reason…talk about being an armchair/wannabe psychologist and a doucheyou gotta get off the internet now and then and speak to real people cause you’d realize you are being a weirdo judging someone this much over a 2 hour talk…
@@NaNa-wy2tk You lost me when you said 'simp.' That word is so played out. You speak way too intelligently to be using it.
during the meditation i felt like i was bigger, i don't know how to explain this in english, i don't speak this language as a mother tongue, but i've already felt this sensation before and it's good, it just feels like i'm bigger
7:01 that level of mental energy bending should not be possible. I was like "Damm, Dr K's a genius"
Man. I have never resonated more with an interview. This is my exact problem with people. I’m very likable, I wouldn’t say charismatic but everyone likes me, but I CAN’T deal with someone I like disliking me. This interview might as well have been me except for his upbringing. Thanks a lot guys seriously.
Man, this one was super relatable.. I always say thing like “I hate awkwardness” or “I hate conflict”
Young Boy doesnt want to understand ...but He was cool enough to learn. Dr K has insane amount of Patience.
I Had to learn IT the old way, sit and think while watching CZcams..
i mean read Psychologe Books...but i learned about the really good Shit when CZcams was big in 2010-2015.
Allways tried to Insert myself until i exactly knew how my Mind was Working and what MY flaws are and where they come from...truth Hurts man...but thanks to my effort, i wont inflict the Same lifelong pain to my Offspring.
CZcams is such a great SEA of knowledge for mankinds Future. Even a salesman Like me, can See Trauma/ ptsd / or Other influences in behaviour. But also treat the pain of Others If i Had the Patience. i think it helps greatly If you can at least Help Others identify Problems Like that for the right Treatment. We dont have the luxury of perfect diagnosis from Professionals.
I dont Need fuckin prescription drugs for my Depression. I handle myself better without those crooks wanna be doctors.
not very often that I relate to streamers on this show, but I felt everything in this conversation applies to me as well
I'm not cocky, I'm confident. So when you tell me I'm the best it's a compliment!
- Sir Jadakiss
Damn these are always relatable
Bit about his mom was hilarious :D
Dr. K was absolutely brilliant in this interview, albeit his body language was VERY telling.
That meditation made my eyes wake up, it was great. They feel sort of 'fresh' now. I also felt the dizziness.
"I don't think you're fun anymore" -Dr. K
Edit: I just finished watching this and this was both iconic and at every second relatable
The intro is GOLD
I am now SHEEEESHING from the shower room and actually commenting on CZcams.
While watching the video I felt the like button is not enough I wanted to express my SUPER LIKE for the video so commenting was the answer, which I never do actually.
So I am really grateful for both Dr.K and hJune for this awesome session.
Omg. I had no idea so many Ppl has the same issues as me. First time I hear about alexithymia too. Gotta not let the fear of awkwardness stop me from taking risk. Without risk, there's no reward. My mind is blown Man
It wasnt my therapy and I feel much better about life after this. 😁
MY BOY HJUNE!!!!!
From the movie Swingers
'You're a bear, you have these big claws, and fangs. You're a big strong bear but you don't know how to kill the bunny.'
“That shell that you have that makes people like you, you have to discard that”
That’s big
This was a bit awkward and uncomfortable from the start and honestly I was a bit skeptical if I wanna continue watching, but it just got so much better. A lot of valuable insight for me here and even if nothing else, the emote conversation would be just well worth it sitting with it for the previous hour and a half :D
God I've had this exact realization like 10 times and I'm still too scared to open up to people. And I'm a woman. Where are all these other women who I'm supposed to be opening up to all the time aaaah.
Me too!
THIS DUDE REPRESENTS ME
My problem with "fomo" around dating and friends and stuff is that it's experiences I can never have, and it's the whole discomfort of explaining to a new partner (if they ever happen), how do I explain to them how many deviations from the mean I am 😅
I think you'll find that that part is going to be way less of a stress than you imagine. Also, there's a non-zero chance that your partner will also deviate from the mean to some extent and maybe just as much as you, in the same direction or another.
I’m a 26 year old dude who has never had a relationship and I’m a virgin.
I could relate a lot to this... Seriously
wow jusy finished the other vid and now you just uploaded another one
Small talk I thought so stupid, but I think just like a key to open the door. Learning things 35+ sad but glad to learning people science
hJune has such a nice voice
I hate how much of myself I can see in so many of the people that Dr. K talks to. It's scary
How are these videos timed so perfectly with issues I'm struggling with lol
I felt like a wave of straight line going up from the point above my eyebrows uptill my whole forehead, that's interesting I think I only meditated for 2 mins and I never flet like this before.
I wish there was a index of different type of guided meditation videos, like for 1st half of the video Dr k explains the whole concept, idea and questions like why we do this in perticular way stuff like that
And on other half we get to mediate just like we do at end of the twitch stream or at end of the youtube video.
Lookup Arising and Passing Away nana. Might be relevant.
DO YOOU KNOW SHEESH?? killed me
About the meditation thing, I heard somewhere that if your back isn't straight, you might just fall asleep on accident. Idk if it's true or not but I can totally see that
SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESH
from the Shower room.
Looking here to self-help, and instead got the answer to my 27 y.o. brother. Alexithymia. Thank you Dr. K.
My dream is to go on Dr K and when he asks me if he can think for a second, say no
gotta let that pogchamp within you out
1:05:22 hit the nail on the head for me. I was bullied for about 3-4 years starting 7 years ago. I'm 21 now, and have the same problem hJune is facing. I'm charismatic (which was a process to develop after the bit of trauma I got from being bullied) but fail to open up to anybody. Makes it clear for me why I don't seek for girlfriends.
Dr. K giving hJun the catch-22 was the best part of this interview.
Sheeshing from the shower room is Jaden Smith’s new R&B album
I wanna see a follow up with Hjune now that he’s done facecam
Couldn't the person being counseled show his cam only to Dr. K? No need to show the stream if they don't want to but it would certainly help with the conversation i feel.
Interesting point. I kind of think maybe it's more - or differently, but equally - educational for viewers to see how Dr. K not having facial cues can handle and react to a conversation
im legit this guy bro
The English teacher story is the Dunning-Krueger effect in action lol
Dr. K's eyes when he receives a genuine compliment : 👀
Cant believe someone sheeeeesh dr. K 🤣😂
woah we found a Dr. K easter egg! This videos unlisted with 416 views? Strange.