the ‘anti beauty trend’ trend
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- čas přidán 22. 05. 2024
- Being pretty is shallow. Let’s talk about toxic feminism- and why it’s making everything ugly
Learn & Grow with me.
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//🕙Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
1:45 4 waves of feminism
3:30 Toxic feminism
6:21 The hate towards hyper femininity
9:15 A girl’s girl
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Sub count at upload: 3,048,259 - Jak na to + styl
What's your definition of being a girl's girl?
being there for them when they need to chat about anything. you don’t have to like pink or ballet. just being there and being comforting.
huge!!@@ameliesmagic6958
Being a good friend. How you dress and look has nothing to do with that
Understanding and cherish each other
Being able to stand for a random girl that you’ve just met when she needs it. Checking her pants if she’s stained, fixing her bra strap, adjusting her makeup(with yours even) pretending to be her friend(or girlfriend if needed) when you sense she’s uncomfortable, telling your secrets(skincare, hair care, outfits and accessories) cause you want them to look pretty too. Not thinking about whether they’ll look prettier than you and just wanting them to look prettier cause they want to. I guess that’s my definition
The problem is that people are chronically online and care far too much about what strangers think of them. Just be yourself. It’s not that serious
I mean it is human nature to care what others think and be apart of the group. It is how humans got to where we are and survived.
@@neffyg35 I know, but it has never been this extreme. Social media is a recent phenomenon and has exacerbated the need to be liked
@@nataliehope18is I don't think I can agree. While social media wasn't a thing we can look into royal courts around the world through out history to see how, especially with women, their looks were picked apart and they had an intense need to fit in because it was a way of moving up and closer to power. The royal court was their "social media platform" in a much more concentrated environment. I hope that makes sense. I'm a bit of a fashion history nerd so this was the first thing that came to mind lol
@@neffyg35 i can see you are lost
@@nataliehope18 EXACTLY EXACTLY that was quite accurate kinda the same i was thinking about it
This is why I love Legally Blonde. It shows that pretty girls can be accomplished without being shallow or putting other girls down. Elle even actively befriends the “nerdy” girl who initially bullied her, which tells the audience that all girls are worthy and important. In the end, she still was able to pursue the man she loved without it distracting her from the girls she loved. Elle Woods was literally the original girls’ girl.
Elle's the kind of woman who really and truly accepted everyone, no matter who they were or how they treated her. She's actually someone who can be an example of being just a plain ol' good person, someone with a big heart you want on your side. She knows how to balance using her brains and her beauty and her connections to get things done and to do right by others.
i hardly think "pretty" girls are hurting from the media promotion of "ugly". it's obviously a contrived thing that does not change the reality that conventionally attractive people are overwhelmingly treated better
You're right, it doesn't hurt conventionally pretty people when 'uglyness' gets pushed. Because they'll always be conventional. The 'purposefull uglyness', however, does hurt the movement. Because it's inherently mysogonistic, thanks to the fact that it tries to knock down 'conventional beauty'. By making 'uglyfying yourself' seem like the only cool thing you can do to show you're 'diffrent'. Just being isn't enough now. If you're already conventionally attractive 'without trying', you're seen as 'against the movement'. Instead of everyone being able to accept that we all look the way we do/want to look the way we do.
The pretty or average girls do hurt from it the way it is done now because it changes how people act in real life and online towards each other. Most people absorb the values and ideas they see around them, and if those values are that looking unappealing to the majority is morally superior, or the idea that it's ok to make fun of anyone who "tries" in any way, most people will start treating that group of pretty or average girls worse or outright bad. Some people even take it upon themselves to treat people they perceive as attractive really bad on purpose, to "compensate" for how they imagine that the attractive person is usually treated.
@@user-qp6lj6gu7s this happens to ugly people. Ugly people have been treated badly since forever. I don’t know why that doesn’t deserve empathy
@@Pizzashakes I know it happens to ugly people, I never said it didn't, I am pointing out how wrong it is to do the same to non-ugly people because it is *always* wrong and they do deserve empathy. Read my comment over once more if you didn't understand it.
Most of the criticism I see of beauty talks about the way the traditional “femininity” is performed: you have to do your hair and your makeup, and eat certain things to look a certain way and wear certain clothes. The movement away from that performance isn’t a promotion of ugliness, and I don’t think that a woman deciding not to wax her entire body is hurting the women who do at all
I think it’s important to think critically about who is profiting off the standards we set for ourselves- more women are getting cosmetic surgery and fillers now than ever before, spending money that could be used to invest in one’s future to instead prolong the way we look in the present
To be clear, none of this is bad, but for women to say they do these things for themselves lacks nuance when it comes to WHY we want these things. My brothers were never told that they needed to wax their legs to be beautiful so it’s not something they’ve ever wanted.
And maybe I just haven’t encountered this “toxic femininity” but I am pretty deep in leftist circles and I’ve never seen anyone call for violence against men, lmao
team just be yourself
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thanks so much for the heart!! I’m a huge fan
🖐️🖐️❤️
all you heard is wind? don't you see this comments are the exemples of it seriously
zoe fakes all her vids + I'm way better LOL;
@@ameliesmagic6958 let's create a trend #justbeyourself 😍
This video gave me a warm bubbly feeing inside. As a teenager, it's hard to navigate high school drama, the competition, the gossip... but this reminded me that us girls should stop trying to one up each other become a girl's girl. Thank you sm! I'm sending this to people :)
*Me when she showed bigger bodies when she said feminism is turning people ugly:* 😟
First of all, feminism is not about appearance at all
Just wanted to say that, for me, if it's toxic it's not feminism. Like, the movement is all about fighting against misogyny, so if you hate a girl just and only because she likes to wear something, that's not feminism, that's misogyny. You can label yourself as a feminist, but you are not lol
exactly !! and honestly that's why i didn't agree with this video i was feeling like something was idk.. wrong ? because that's not what feminism is, part of feminism is about not shaming women for their apparence
I think this video mixes the political movement of feminism, which doesn't care about what anyone wears at all, with the girl boss, white feminism trends on Social Media, which I would view as feminism the same way as a plastic palm is a tree. The "feminism" she is critisizing is the product which is sold, not the real thing.
I'm completely there with you: if you put other people down, it's not feminism.
totally agree that it is not feminism, especially because women clearly do not benefit from the "not like other girls mentality." The "girl's girl" mentality is literally feminism because it means being there for one another and leaning on one another. Seriously, that IS feminism, not outside of it.
Just wanted to let you know that I agree, and that a woman who believes in female superiority over the males is called a femist. There's a name for those beliefs and it should be used. Nowadays the anti_feminist propaganda calls anything and everything "feminism", but the majority of times "feminism" does not apply to the ideology being discussed. There are proper names to be used - let's use them and disarm people who only intend to hurt and misinform.
True feminism isn't about opposing the "traditional ways of womanhood" . It is about creating a space were you have the freedom to do wtf you want with your body, looks, life, etc. WITHOUT judgement, without society and constitutional disadvantages making it hard. It's about equality of opportunity. It's such a shame, that so many people overlook that and make the term feminisme get a bad wrap.
It is also important to mention that a lot of girls and women want to oppose "traditional womanhood" because they feel a lack of safety , if they are deemed "too" attractive - which is unfortunatly kinda true.
And in my opinion: Mean girls really tried to convay the different boxes a young girl feels like she has to fit in and identify with in this society
I never follow trends, not because I'm "above it" or whatever, but because I'm completely clueless when it comes to fashion. My style is 100% authentically my own because I'm too lazy to keep up with trends. 😂 I do admire the girls who can accessorize and apply makeup without looking like Pennywise, but that ain't me.
Same! I just love girly stuff and I will use whatever I like without caring if it's trendy or not. Nowadays, trends don't even last and I try to not support fast fashion (kinda hard due to my budget) I don't even wear makeup but that's because I'm lazy and I have struggled with acne in the past... so yeah my whole skincare routine is enough time 😂 and don't get me wrong, I purchased makeup but it wasn't my thing and that's OK. I just don't understand why there is this constant on social media
I think the main problem is whatever trend people collectively decide to hop on, they almost always take it to the extreme. Nothing is ever balanced, especially on the social media, and mostly because of social media. This isn't really an issue for me as an adult, but it must be hell for younger girls who're still figuring themselves and the world out. Keep strong!
Exactly
gurll your orating skills are so good.
You really hit it on the head what an AMAZING analysis!!!
Watching your video is being a therapy for me❤️☺️
Same here friend
Zoe's videos are like a breath of fresh air
to be honest, ive been thinking a lot about myself lately. i dont care about those on tiktok, or the toxic feminism. if i want to care how i look, then i will. if i want to feel glamorous, and love men, then i will. its not about everyone else. for me, its about me. and for you, its about you. call me shallow, call me selfish, maybe i am. people dont have to like me, love me, they dont even have to respect me. but if i look in the mirror and like what i see, the person that i see, thats all that matters
3 million!! Congrats!!
The way I click Zoe’s notifs should be checked 😂. I love your videos and how they give me a whole new perspective of issues. Of recent I had been thinking that okay it seems I’m becoming a really girly girl, and I want to be a girly girl, I want to wear the colorful skirts with the colorful eyeliner and makeup and accessories, but then I started to think like, isn’t that conforming to the standards of the patriarchy. I thought over it and a few materials helped shape my mindset, then men don’t OWN the beauty standards of women,maybe they contributed a huge amount to it, but we get to decide what we want to do with our outfits and personalities. Your video was one of them
I think the obsession with aesthetics and desire to completely curate yourself based on -cores is part of the problem
Im not dark or light feminine, cottagecore or itgirl. Im just a person.
I agree I’m not really socially on the Internet and I don’t have social media so I’m not really encountering these issues. I just sort of go about my day and do my thing
I think that the goal is for it to be okay whatever you want to do. It’s okay to want to want to look pretty for yourself or for others. It should also be okay to look crazy or unconventional, and not have to appeal to anyone. Love the video it highlights some of the hypocrisy on the way to the goal.
i dont know which category i fit under, because i'll wear makeup if i have time in the morning, and i wont if i dont have the time
The notification made my day ☺️❤️
Keep going girl I love what you do!
This is gonna be my new vibe thank you ♥ ☻
Dangerously honest, I Love it ❤
This literally!!!! Im glad someone has made a video on this. Cus i thought i was tripping.
I agree with most of what you said but I think that instead of the feminist girls judging other girls for dressing or acting sexually, its rather encouraged, which has lead to the idea that sexuality/nudity = empowerment.
Anyways love the vid, thanks for talking about these subjects and encouraging the discussion 🩷
What if my “true self” is a complete sociopath with no life skills? Modern society says that we shouldn’t have to compromise “who we are” for others or pressure ourselves into doing anything we don’t want to.
You know what we call people who won’t do anything they won’t want to do? Or insist on being their full authentic selves regardless of what society thinks? Children. Wake up.
Yup, it's not so black and white. There's compromise and basic social expectations (like treating others with respect and not committed violent acts) we must still adhere to. When it comes to our appearances and how we interact with the world, There's some leeway!
Just be a human and live your own damn life. Like it's really not that hard when we're looking at it from this shallow perspective. Everyone is just basic human and no one can tell me otherwise. These things only matter on social media. Have you ever seen someone over the top trendy or dressed super sexy on the train? They just look awkward af as most people just looking at them like what's wrong with you why you wanna stand out so bad? Real life isn't tiktok and insta. I never see those insta baddies or whatever in real life. I live in London and everyone is basic. Perfection only exist on the Internet on edited pictures and videos. Literally no one cares who you're trying to be or what label you put on yourself this morning. People have bills to pay, broken relationships to fix, childhood traumas to resolve, dreams to catch. Just remember, if you see a clean girl or someone you think is "perfect" an hour ago they had a massive shit that stunk up the bathroom. Coz they're basic humans and there is nothing otherworldly about anyone.
Great discussion Zoe👏🏽👍🏽
I actually HATE when people randomly come up to me and tuck in my tag or fix my zipper the only person its bothering is you! Thats not a girls girl thats someone who doesnt respect my personal space.
I second this. I feel super uncomfortable being touched, especially by strangers
That is weird. Like if you think someone would want to know just let them know and don’t be touching them.
SAME!!! I also feel uncomfortable when a stranger does this, I don't want anyone touching me 💀 If it's someone I know, I would tell them "hey, would you like me to fix the tag/zipper" and if they say yes then I would. I also have friends that are "oh I will fix it for you" and immediately do it, and that's okay because we trust each other and we have talked about this before.
zoe fakes all her vids + I'm way better LOL;
wait... do people actually do this? Even people I know really well and who I´d be comfortable with if they touched me always ask me first before tucking in my tag... I thought it´s common to be like "hey can I fix your tag?" and then wait for a yes before you touch somebody else...
if you love pretty things and pink its good, if you like baggy clothes and no make up its good too, just be yourself and never let your look decided who you are and your value fr
*_i hope you have a fantastic day to come💝🎉😘_*
Why can’t we just be girls and do our own thing zzzzzzzz I let you do you. I’ll do me. They’ll do them. And we’re all happy clams. I love my sweats just like I love my skimpy clothes. I love not wearing makeup most of the time, but when I feel like it, I’ll really just do my face up real nice. I love having my nails done real pretty all the damn time, and I also love playing primarily male-dominated games like League of Legends. Why? Because it makes me feel good. I do it for myself. I stan women and femmes who are unapologetically themselves. Let’s just be ourselves, people. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 All y’all are beautiful as fuck inside and out!!! ✨✨✨💗💗💗💋💋💋
Life doesn’t get easy for women I guess.
Nailed it on the head as always! Great job, and Thank you 🙏 ❤
While I agree, do you really think that hating pretty girls is just toxic feminism? This is exactly why feminism as a whole is hated and not understood. What you described is just shallow feminism and is right for someone who is just looking for excuses to dismiss the movement all together. Modern feminism tries to be inclusive and what you are saying is just not true. Or is all this coming just from a TikTok bubble? I am not on TikTok so I would not know but I would be sceptical defining this important movement just from this point of view. I kinda get what you were trying to say but feminism is not the problem. The duality of womanhood that describes that you are either pretty and dumb and mean or ugly and smart and good comes from SEXISM. We are taught to hate on other women and compete for male attention. The theory of ambivalent sexism desribes this perfectly. Please do not add to the voices that dismiss the movement. While I agree that some form of toxic feminism exists, it's just not that big of a problem like violence against woman that stemms from sexism globally is. If someone hates men, Fine but what are the statistics? Are men the population that gets harrased on the streets? Are they the population that gets murdered the most for petty reasons? I don't think so.
this 🙌🏻👏🏼
Facts! 👏🏻
It’s not difficult if your not chronically online
Okay but I love Michaela Stark's work.
I think everyone needs to find their own ballance which is hard
Yeah, I was treated really badly when I explored bimbo aesthetics and just embracing dressing sexily. Actually REALLY badly (assault, arrested for prostitution, told I was manic due to hypersexuality when I wasn't having sex... basically insane slut shaming) and dressing more masculine/ alternative/ modestly does make people treat me much better. It's true that it's easier living life looking plain vs. sexy.
@@kyrak.4143 i feel like you just prove her point.
if you were arrested for prostitution you might have taken the easthetic to an extreme, where was this?
I get it but there is something people always look behind. I've always been the "cool girl or tomboy" I don't like the name btw. Bc contrary to belief men didn't like me and women hated me. I never judge women bc of their choices but they always judged me. It's kinda same with body shaming the skinny. Nobody thinks skinny shaming is body shaming just bc they were the standart once.
Men hated me bc I outsmart them on "their things" like football, games, sifi and stuff. Women hated me bc they never believed that I did enjoy those things and it's my character, they bash me for as their believe: "trying to be 'not like the other girls". When I was teenager "it is a faze" and now "pick me". I never picked because of my character. on the contrary men stayed away from me bc I'm like this nad not girly or dumb enough. I love women. I love being a woman. Why can't we be just ourselves and not trying to prove ourselves to women that I really like metal music or to a man with "saying 3 songs about that band"
Time to watch while eating food:)
is it really that hard to just accept people if they want to be pretty just for themselves?
I just say wear what you want don’t follow the trends where and be whatever makes you the most happy
As someone who wasn’t really given any male attention until college, I’m not scared to be conventionally pretty. However, I agree with what you said about toxic feminism. It’s shockingly acceptable to just say you hate men.
It’s interesting because there’s so much feminity that falls into a queer gaze, like I get hit on by guys so much but in no shape am I trying to appeal to them. Femininity is so fascinating I love it as a quality in both men and women.
Pterodactyl got me. LOL
okay, but can i ask something? why do people care so much about giving themself a label? like what are these "strawberry girl", "vanilla girl" etc type shi? lets just live our life and stop trying to please everyone, men or women
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moral: everyone's a pick me ( 9:48 )
But embracing your feminine charms, is also our super power. We're feminine, we are different from men. Love it and own it.
I just want to be a walmart bag at this point😔
OmG you outfit was so slay, where did you get it? 😍 (
bro you seriously
Very interested video to watch from a guy’s perspective. As someone who doesn’t know a lot about dating women, I think it has to do with the fact that women don’t want to be attracted by men. It’s hard for me at least to find someone to connect with, and maybe it’s because I’m too simple minded in this new age of hyperfemininity and such. I hope I’m not the only guy who wants to meet a nice girl, cut through all the bs, and have a healthy relationship. Of course, it won’t be easy, but I want to believe that it’s possible. Thank you for sharing you POV, and it’ll be very helpful for navigating this new world that we live in. We NEED more content like this!
Yeah that was a load of bs
Pls make a video on colour theory color test
I think this is an american problem
Feminism is good, i like it when yall can be yourselves unapologetically
Omg this 💯
Yo girl, what are u gona do about all these people dragging ur name???
I might disagree with you. I mean your video is really interesting, as always. but I think what you describe as toxic feminism isn't feminism of any kind. to me, feminism is allowing women to have the choice. so if your choice is to be ultra feminine, or sexy, or appealing to men or whatever, I'll support you. this just needs to be a choice, not an obligation. voilà, this is my take. as well as : if you don't consider trans women as women, to me you're not a feminist because we work towards ALL women rights. :)
I'll never be a housewife to any husband, but if that's your dream life go for it girl, I want you to have the choice that's feminism
Preach
What was that all of the sudden!!?
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😊❤😊❤😊❤
hiyaaaa
hi :)
hello
Thank you for being based, so tired of feeling like I can’t win as a woman when I enjoy & express my femininity
Wtf is a girl dinner? 😵💫
Gwen said it the best; I’m just a girl
this entire video is just condescendingly explaining to people a straw man argument.