The Secret to Helping ANY Child Follow Your Directions
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- čas přidán 5. 05. 2024
- In this video, I'm going to break down how to help your child follow your directions so you can make the most of your time and reduce you and your little one's frustration!
These tips work especially well when used in my reading lessons and I have an amazing free 30 minute workshop to help you get started: toddlersread.info/free-workshop
Remember: every child is different. So find out what works best for YOUR child and stick to that!
My eyes are watering. I did this was my toddler this morning and no tantrums changing his diaper, putting on his clothes, getting him in the car. Thank you SO much for this.
1:15 mannnnn give MS Williams all her flowers🎉
It was indeed her, because of what she knew.
Thank you for sharing it.
1. Face 2 Face
2.Keep Eye Contact
3. Physical Contact
4. Calm and Confident Energy
5. Clear and Specific
6.Questions(Yes or No) or Statements(😟🙃)Or Directions (🤓)
Your the goat
Thanks!! 🎉🎉
Now inspired to listen to the whole recording.
Ty
Imagine them being autistic and not making eye contact. What then?
@BlackGirlMajik closer proximity and ignore it
I watched this with my 7 year old last night. And tonight she caught me asking my 4 year old “do you want to brush your teeth now sweetie?” My 7 year old says “daddy, look her in the eye and use a firm voice” 🤯😳
So this time I got in my 4 year olds face, touched her shoulder and said “time to brush your teeth sweetie. Do you want to start with the top or bottom?”
“TOP!”
Amazing. So clearly explained my 7 year old could coach me. and it worked perfectly when applied.
You, sir, are a gift. THANK YOU
Haha, to the naughty step with you sir, think about what you did wrong for 20 mins. 😂
i love that 😂😂😂 from the mouth of babes 😁
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Wonderful.
It worked a treat with my 12yo this morning! I gave her directions: get out of bed and put your uniform on (with my hand on her hair). Then you can choose what to have for breakfast. And she did it. No shouting, no threats, just cuddles 😅😮❤. Thank you so much🎉
Still working? I am afraid that they develop some kind of immunity.
Like first time they feel the instruction is more special, then you repeat the technique too much that they become just another instruction.
Great job mom!!
Wait you have to still wake up your 12 year old? When I was 12 I was expected to be ready for the bus when it came and I made my own breakfast if I wanted something to eat.
Did she choose candy for breakfast ?
I would tell your 12 year old what you expect every morning, then I would get an alarm clock or old phone etc and have it wake the child up in the morning. Tell her/him you need them up, dressed and into the kitchen for breakfast without you doing anything.
The world needs more men like this to help mentor our children. 🙌
I was thinking the same thing. You can see his passion and it's a beautiful thing 😍 ✨️
With him doing this…. He is already doing it :) very wise….
No we do not. This specific method is not appropriate.
@joshuaramseur why? How do you justify your belief? What makes what you say creditable?
@@shoogasweet5847 My guess is it's a bot because that's just ridiculous. This guy is clearly doing something he's passionate about, has taken the time to learn and "craft" and perfect it in a way he sees the best results. If he's doing it and around kids all the time and it's working, then clearly his method IS appropriate and effective and it's done in a caring way too....kudos to you sir!!! 👏 👏 👏 And thank you for what you do!
I’m a mom of 5 kids, the act alone of going up to your kid and looking them in the eye is incredibly helpful
Yes I tried that one right away and it worked. It’s better than raising your voice across rooms- we parents have to be present to make it easier on ourselves.
Finally, the CZcams algorithm sent me something of value.
This is the best video I've seen on this topic. Ever.
Thank you for this.
While every child is different, there are definitely some amazing takeaways. For me, the single most important thing is to start off right. When I get this part right, everything else flows. And within that, the single most important thing is my energy level. If I have this set right, and I connect with my son and provide clear direction, things go so, so much better.
And never quite understood why some days were so much better than others until I saw this video. And now, I know exactly where I need to focus and fine tune.
Thank you for this. I'm going to share it with a number of groups now. Parents that are struggling with the same thing.
Thank you again.
That part😂😂😂
Agreed! Best video ever. So much value!
Agree
This is great. I especially appreciate the statement, "we don't ask questions about things that matter." That hit home.
Homeschool single dad here, thank you, I'm on it! #subscribing
proud of you! I am a homeschooling single mom and you are an inspiration!
@@rheaceleste2091 🙏🏽💜
Sometimes, when I see the lesson is not getting through, I ask them, "What did I say?" Getting them to say the directions sometimes helps them to realize what to do. Cudos to you, dad!
@@naowright9308 thank you, and I needed that reminder ("repeat it back to me").
I love this guy BUT what I love MOST is that kid he threw behind the chair is SO quiet...not bouncing, screaming, throwing a fit or a shoe at his head, crying, making himself throw up. That KID is amazing! 😵🤣 Silliness aside though, I'm sure this is valid. You're a good teacher.
Right 🤔
😂😂😂😂😂
Bahaha! 😂
Joking aside, that was what my mind was on the whole video. What do the other kids do while i am focused on this child and working with this child? Cuz the biggest challenge for me is those ones jumping off the walls while i am working with a kid.
😂😂😂 not me looking for the actual child tho
He just used all of his strategies on us as adults (minus the touch) and it worked. This guy’s got it!
i was thinking the same... i was totally engaged and ready to teach my child. :)
i was ready to teach a child and I don't have any yet..@@janiquecantey5353
That's the best way to teach.
I noticed that 😂. It worked
You're so right! I was completely engaged the whole time watching this!
As a preschool teacher, I actually use these techniques without even noticing. I always loved working with behavioral children, because I love turning them around.
Thats good . Nowadays they put too many kids in classes and the teachers are pushed around ...
What do u say about a teacher who keeps sending a 2 nd grader home at least once a week because of behavioral problems .
@@farik-hr8th sometimes it's the teacher that's the problem. I personally feel like it's part of my job to fix that behavior. I think it's because my 1st teaching experience was when I was going for my black belt and we needed teaching hours as part of our training.
I’ve been a teacher/literacy coach for the last 11 years and i’ve never seen it explained this way. Thank you. I needed this.
Thank you, Noor! I appreciate it!
Ok now I see why my student wants me around him when he does his work!!!
It's what humans do when speaking to each other. And weirdly children are human beings.
This was great at a young age... My child hit 14 & omgggg 😂😂 I was one of those "laughing on the dark abysmal inside" kids & WOW am I paying for that now lol! He's actually not as bad as I was, he just has ZERO interest in school work & aside from grounding, I don't know how to get him to do it or at least CARE about doing the work. And he's one of those kids that CAN do, easily, gets As&Bs when getting off punishment counts. But after that, it slowly dive bombs. I've done that talks, the future is now whole thing, I've done grounding. I won't give up, I just don't know what else to TRY 🥴
How will this transfer to school, tho? I can't tell my son's teachers how to teach/engage 😬
What you’re saying about attention sounds a lot like what my holistic doctor told me about a baby’s nervous system. The baby’s nervous system is underdeveloped so they need to be held a lot to learn to be calm. So through touch, the baby feels us being calm and then learns to be calm as well. I wonder if a similar thing is happening in the brain with attention. Through our gaze and touch being directed at the kids (our full attention), their brains are learning to pay attention. It’s like a synchronizing process. If our attention is split, so will theirs. If we are not calm, they won’t be either. Very interesting.
Great video! Thank you for all this thought-provoking content!
I’ve had the same thoughts about my 19 month old! I notice that when he has my full attention, he is relaxed, content, and happy. If I’m trying to multitask on my phone or not really engaging him, he doesn’t know what to do with himself lol. Great comment!
Thank you so much for this comment!
Yip. They are little sponges.
Ye!!! I notice this with my son! I focus and are in the moment myself it helpes him. Work with my energy is everything❤
Co-regulation
i'm not a toddler but i listened to this video like few others. what a presence. humans work the same no matter the age, they just have different levels of understanding and self control. he sure is doing something very right.
The way you took ownership and responsibility.. is so inspiring to me as a father! This is a real man!
Imagine if all teachers had this level of understanding… society would be transformed.
But parents too, because a lot of the time poor parenting causes issues with their child in the classroom that can disrupt learning for everyone.
Parents have a bigger role than teachers. Teachers only work with what parents send them. Children belong to the parents not the teachers. Parents raise children not teachers. Dont forget who is ultimately responsible for the child.
Imagine if men comprised 40+ %of teachers and all boys / girls schools came back.
@@robintisdale-turner5061parents raise adults, teachers when all women, is a low-grade crime against humanity for boys
Many do have this level of understanding, and many have the intention to be this engaged and engaging. However, the problem is that classrooms are too big to allow this level of engagement. You can’t give tailored attention to each and every student when you have 30+ kids in the classroom.
An interesting experiment for large classrooms would be to break the entire classroom down into groups of five and have aides assigned to each group. So there would be one teacher commanding the class and giving the lectures/lessons while the aides guide each group along with the attention and engagement shown in this video. I understand, however, that this would cost the school A LOT of money, hiring several aides for each class. Though, this can be part of a student teacher’s path to becoming a teacher, the same way that students in medical schools have to put in a certain amount of hours in residencies before becoming doctors.
Thank you so much😢 I have 4 years old twin girls and a 2 yrs old son, and this is my first time trying to homeschool them. GOD knew I had needed to see this! This really encourages me❤
You're awesome for homeschooling! Best of luck!
❤❤❤❤
You got this! I went into it(meaning homeschool) very optimistic and unsure at the same time. We started homeschooling our oldest (5yo F) last August(2023) when she was 4yo. Spencer’s vids have definitely helped. You got this mama!
Take your time mom! Don’t rush the learning process. Kids don’t need much at those ages. You got this!
Thank you all so much for your encouragement! This really helps me 💜🙏🏽🦋😊
Fake it til you make it has always been my motto as a teacher! 😂 Never let them see you stressed or frazzled!
This just unlocked something.. I have a faint memory of feeling very good whenever my mom put her hand on me while asking me to do something when I was in my early teen years. It felt very warm, « connected » and I really wanted to do whatever she asked of me. Thank you for this memory.
I felt inspired by this as nowadays teachers and child experts are so keen to labeling children with life time behavioural condition instead of empowering kids and parents to do more. Keep up the good work.
Kids all have ADHD and ADD because they are kids!
Some are just worse than others and need medicine or therapy, but it's still normal-like they are kids too.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
My parents fought vigorously to avoid “labeling” me in the 70s and 80s. Instead they made me “learn how to act right” but masking my true nature was actually harmful for me.
I still have a lifetime neurological and developmental disorder, even though my parents didn’t “label” me. It didn’t go away just because they refused to allow a diagnosis.
It starts at home. As a former teacher, both regular ed and special ed, I can't tell you how many parents demand their children get tested. They think getting them a label A) will get them a monthly check, (yes, they say this) and B) they think a label will get their child some magic 1 on 1 instruction. In one year's time my special ed caseload doubled due to parent referrals, most for ADHD. Schools do NOT want to label the kids. I had many parents cry if their child didn't meet criteria. I had parents lie so their kids could be put on drugs and basically be zombies. It is a mess.
I didn't find out I have ADHD until I was an adult at 36 yrs old. I was a fuck up and a loser and still kind of am despite being told I was smart my whole life (was reading at the college level in grade 3). There is a chance I could have done much better if I had been given the right tools to succeed instead of just being told " you could do so much better if you just applied yourself." @@user-vk3yz3fm3e
Effective communication + positive energy= happy successful people.
I don’t know how this exactly popped up in my feed, but I have immense gratitude for watching this. I’m a father of three, eldest is six and youngest is three, and I have been struggling with defiance, reluctance, spouts of angry backlash when it’s difficult for them to understand… and through everything I’ve tried and heard, nothing quite helps the way this does. You explained this better than anyone has in the past and I think it’s going to really help. Thankyou
I think we’ve all picked up on the teachers that get kids to listen vs those that don’t. Good for you for taking the extra step and figuring out why and then relating it to parents
Wonderful advice! Honestly, this applies to adults as well. How many times have we gotten upset at a partner for us telling/asking them to do something and they don’t or they “forget” but in reality they never really heard us or weren’t paying attention in the first place. I tell my husband all the time, if something is important to you that you want me to do/hear/remember, bring me aside, look into my eyes, make sure I’m listening and then tell me. Don’t tell me in passing, don’t text me, don’t tell me while I’m busy doing something else; if it’s important, get my undivided attention and vice versa.
Great advice thank you
Hard to in the hustle and bustle of things but I think I really need this
Things with adults are a bit different especially if you're a manager. Adults need to solve problems themselves more - giving a statement of a problem is often better than instructions on how to solve it and you might be pleasantly surprised how it's resolved.
Yes! I see it sometimes in a long text or email where the sender has a lot of detailed information. Much of which is a sort of thing people would skim. Then towards the end, The person makes a statement, when she should make a command. Usually people miss the command in this scenario.
True
I just watched this video today and immediately in 15 minutes I tried it with my 7 year old son (to get his reading done). It worked!!! He did try to test the waters midpoint but I didn’t waiver from my new position. He conceded and everything continued on smoothly. Looking forward to the days ahead and beyond. Thank you sir, God used you to bring peace in my home 🙏🏽
3rd grade special ed teacher here. We us these techniques in my trade, they help regardless of kids needs. I'm glad more parents and teachers are learning them. God bless you and keep you.
I have a 3 year old and this video just gave me a few major breakthroughs. I wish I could give this man a hug.
This is amazing. I am excited to try these techniques with my grandson who has problems with focus.
Thank you for sharing these results-- I'm going to be trying this method today!! ❤❤❤
Thankyou so much, I will share it with my daughters for my grand kids❤❤❤❤❤. I will try it when they come over.❤❤❤😊
The statement vs directive bit is gold. I was watching my grands and I was telling them it's time to go and no one was moving. After a few attempts I recognized what my miss was and started telling each one, walk out to the car. And there they went. When they're excited or distracted it's more difficult for them to understand/extract the action that's being asked for in a statement.
Children need guidance.
I’m a grown woman and I sometimes struggle with this! This is a great reminder to me - I’m going to find out what difference it makes for my son. ❤
This makes so much sense and explains why I have so much "luck" with my 2yo niece. I don't tell what is going on until we're looking at each other (i hold her hand and request her attention gently, or move in front of her), i tell her what is non-negotiable and why ("i have to hold onto when we walk through the gym, because someone could run into you or fall on you"), and then i offer an option ("do you want to hold my hand or do you want me to carry you?") i cringe every time someone asks her if she wants to do something, she says no, and then they make her. Thank you so much for this EXTREMELY eloquent and kind video, and thank you for saying "i have to respect Bear's choice, because I'm the one who gave them the option." I don't think that's how a lot of adults see it.
This just changed my parenting and my teaching career. Seriously. I saw this video on my bathroom break and then implemented these techniques in my classroom and it worked, and I’m excited to go home and change how I father my sons.
It’s a 13 min video. You watched it on your bathroom break? 😮 Must have been a hot curry the night before. 😊
@@adamcotterill3511 😅
Love this l!
@@adamcotterill3511 I didn't even realize that! Haha! Is your name Denver by chance? I have a coworker that disappears to the bathroom all the time...
😂😂 that was a long bathroom break 😂😂❤
This guy has such a natural gift. Yes, he obviously has practice and great observation skills with his mentors and colleagues, but genuinely from his soul he's great at this
Dad of 2 boys, 8&6. Don’t know why YT brought me here, but so glad. This is going to be great to use for teaching how to tie their shoes, following the directions in homework and even in coaching. So excited to try this out.
Shout out to you & the boys. They can do it. My son taught himself at 4. Kinda freaked me and his teachers out but it’s cool. lol We’re working on getting better at following directions. He’s struggling with that right now. Some days are really good and some are, not so good.
I’ve been “failing” at homeschooling my sons for over a year now, I’m dyslexic and everyone is telling me to give up but I’m trying to find ways to make it work. These videos really help. What makes it the most difficult is I have 3 sons, ages 7,6, and 1 year. And I myself am doing school and it’s so hard to find balance.
As an autistic person, I appreciate a video rooted in regulating children's nervous systems while learning. For me, as not every autistic person feels the same, I don't want any eye contact, I want side-by-side physical contact to feel regulated, and I do NOT want to be touched by someone besides the side-by-side. Instead of eyes, I would focus on hands and an object of learning (and sounds) and seeing the adult move the object around would help me.
I agree that energy matters, and calm/confident energy when it's faked feels even more like a demand, which triggers the PDA profile of autism. Options (like this or that) helps increase autonomy without feeling lost in the sauce from an open-ended question. For me, I respected people most who were calmly saying categorically a time was happening and allowing options for autonomy after that time has been accepted.
Usually I wanted to do an activity but struggled with the transition into it, which was interpreted as not wanting to do the activity, eventually seen as defiance. You mentioned a dance party as a reward, but if I danced before to feel regulated, I would be ready to learn and the learning was rewarding for me.
I appreciate the assertion this video's strategies work, but one strategy will never work for every child, and this mindset can harm autistic children who end up failing to appropriately respond to a "tried and true" approach. It's great to have disclaimers that certain disabilities might need a modified approach. It doesn't make what you're sharing less impactful to be honest.
Thank you for your video.
What is “the PDA profile of autism”?
I feel this way too, thanks for putting it into words.
@@colorfulcrochet371and pda profile is “pathological demand avoidance” it’s like …I might have a plan for my day like I’m going to do thing a and b then empty the dishwasher. If someone were to say, “empty the dishwasher “ while I’m doing task a or b, suddenly my brain does not want to. I’ll refuse, even though I did want to. And it’s hard to push through that (for me)
Yes, absolutely! Thankfully I didn't have teachers demand eye contact of me, but physical contact did happen from time to time, which always made me uncomfortable, even if it was meant to comfort me when I was upset. I was afraid of getting in trouble if I spoke up because my needs were frequently ignored, so I just sat in discomfort :(
What I needed more than anything else was a smaller class size, a quiet environment, brief 1 on 1 check-ins, something for me to fidget with, and patience if I didn't understand something the first couple times it was explained to me. I remember one year a teacher I had gave us all lemon drops or peppermint candies when we had a test to take. It helped me focus on the assignment so much better!
My autistic child is the same. Eye contact and physical contact are extremely unpleasant for my kid. Even being physically close has actually become threatening because so many adults insisted on eye contact and ignored my kid’s request to not touch them. So while maybe gender, race, etc… doesn’t alter whether all the above suggestions work, other factors like autism, mental health, and such DO make some of the suggestion unworkable.
OMG....I always do this with my niece (2.5) when I'm teaching her; not realizing this was an actual technique. She loves to come to my house to learn things. This makes me feel good knowing I'm on the right track as I would love to do these things with my own children one day 🥰 I tell my sister all the time it's the energy
I tell my sister that it’s about her and her husband’s energy all the time as well! Children are so smart and have so much potential even at the youngest of ages. 🩷
If you do it naturally your parents or other caregivers probably used this method on you 😊
@Scybertine I think the daycare I went to back then was like this and my Granny (rest her soul). She definitely had the patience of a Saint and was a 2nd grade teacher in her day💜
As a future male teacher I was so impressed with these tips. I'm eager to try these out the next time I work with students. I really like your energy and I'm sure your student love working with you.
I can teach any age and ability how to swim , and these are the exact methods I’ve gathered in all my 15 years of experience , all while keeping kids safe and intrigued while in the water . This guy for sure knows his stuff .
I was a nanny for a decade and a mother. Even the “difficult” kids always behaved incredibly well with me but were the complete opposite with their parents.
All because of these very points. I also homeschooled my daughter long before covid and can attest that toddlers can learn to read and love the learning process.
Thank you for sharing this with the world🙏🏼
You're welcome! And I appreciate you sharing. : )
Is this only for toddlers? I have a 11 yr old granddaughter
Kids always behave different with parents
That’s because they are probably neurodivergent. They will mask and comply to protect them selfs but when they get home it’s their safe place all that build up stress has overloaded there system and it has to come out. The Coke bottle effect!
I'll just say it depends on the child. I could read from 2, my youngest is learning letters and numbers but my oldest still struggles and has a learning difficulty despite my best efforts.
I just used this with my 15 year old with autism. I got down on his level and looked in his eyes and said “I need you to clean the bathroom right now please.”
And he said “Can I do it tomorrow?”
And I said “No. Do it now and you’ll be free to do whatever you want. But I need you to clean the bathroom first please.”
And he said ok! And smiled.
😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮
I'm a new teacher and I have trouble with my classroom, after seeing this I have got the all the confidence I need!
The question, statement and direction advice really resonated with me. Thank you for helping me to be a better parent. More importantly thank you for helping my child
This works with so much of parenting , not just teaching , my children are so well behvaed when i keep on top of myself with this kind of behavior myself . It makes the family work well together
Have seen them when you are not there?.. Kids are mafias
Pretty much all of parenting is teaching. Children are learning by watching everything you do.
@@Nigerianbestiehypocritical parents give mixed messages, which results in this duplicitous behavior.
I love this. I was a substitute teacher for years. I loved it because I felt gifted to do it. My children would request me and teachers wondered why because traditionally, children hate subs and give them a hard time. Watching you I realize that I engaged the children. My energy and expectations were as you stated. These same seemingly obnoxious kids would fall in line for me and not there teacher. Many of them I would see at the grocery store and they run to give me a hug. Best pay day in the world. No one cares what you know until they know that you care. Life changing.
"No one cares what you know until they know you care". Thank you for that statement, it's priceless.
I was a sub for many years and loved it! I had the exact same experiences as you such as being requested by children and teachers. I also didn’t know why until watching this video and realizing I had engaged the children into learning. Unfortunately covid ended that career for me and I went into being a nanny which I love doing but I miss my classrooms so much sometimes it hurts.
Thank you for being a teacher! Thank you! Thank you!
Thanks for sharing this. God bless you ❤
You as a teacher is great. But please know how to spell correctly. (their teacher). Not (there teacher) A teacher can spell.
Thank you for teaching. My 11 year old autistic child would benefit from having a teacher like you.
A VERY IMPORTANT VIDEO. I am a pediatrician and will recommend this to parents.
It works every time because you’re giving each child the time of day and the respect as a human being. You’re still giving them choices, which helps them feel empowered, and you’re showing them that you care and they matter.
Yes for the things that "don't matter." The things that really matter he says there are no options. You have to be direct and confident and still at the same time treat them with respect....Now, if you were only talking about the things that don't matter, then my apologies
As a former educator and now a “stay at home mom” I can tell you that he is a 100% CORRECT! This methods works and my class would run smoothly because of it! 😊 Great information sir!
I love the fact that you dont listen to the limiting beliefs ppl put on our kids, especially with their parents. You have an awesome way of teaching. Hopefully you can reach more teachers and families with your message!!
Very well presented. I've been teaching for over 70 years, very successfully. You have nailed it. This is about 80% of what is important to do and how to do it. It is also your responsibility as the teacher to acknowledge good behavior, show appreciation for it and ensure the student can see a path / opportunity for their growth. Thanks.
Not to be rude, but how old are you? I thought retirement age for teachers was 65 and if you start teaching at age 20 (which is very young for a teacher), then that's a max of 45 years.... If you've been teaching 70 years, are you still a teacher in your 90's?
@@commenter5901there are plenty of ways of teaching that aren’t exclusively “formal school teacher employment”. Tutoring is teaching, so is instructing in piano or swim lessons or whatever else. I know many school teachers who retired and still instructed stuff (whether academic or extracurricular).
I’m raising a 6 year old girl and I grew up in a hostile environment and I don’t want to be them😅 it gets incredibly frustrating when I have been so well with other kids now that I have my own I lose my sauce or something when she tests me. I’m unlearning my childhood and remothering myself to make sure my years w my child are MUCH SOFTER. This is my favorite thing to run into again bc I have been subbed for a while and the 1st year of homeschooling is kickin my behind. 😂😂😂 I’m going to be 6x better by the end of the year😊🎉
i’m going through the same with my two boys, I grew up where you were screamed at and hit and when I get tested my reaction is to yell .. this helps so much . I try so hard to fight my instincts
@@davidmarquez1267 facts but stay strong😓😅😭 lol It’s like when a woman told me in the store I was handling it well when my daughter was flipping out on me before the age of one🥴, “ in 100 years it’s not gonna matter what she was doing” and I’d like to add to that, and say not only will it not matter what they were doing, but what will matter is, how you reacted to it.
@@maincharactermisty I try to take two deep breaths first 😂
@@maincharactermisty what kind of advice?
That was so shady because in 100 years we'll all be dead.
Anyway, at age 6 they're really already made into the adult they're going to be emotionally.
The formative years start in the womb, but I'm sure you already knew that before you got pregnant.
Be well, take care.
@@twitterblackdovetrue just don’t be one of those parents who treats their kids like the grown up they want them to be and doesn’t allow them to be a kid and have an adult protect and enjoy presence with them
Every child is born with a yearning to learn. They push themselves to roll over, sit, crawl, walk, talk, and it doesn’t end there. Education is just another milestone they need adults’ help with. It’s so beautiful to watch a child blossom that was once labeled lazy/unmotivated/hating to learn.
This was a great video!
Unfortunately, our education system is designed to kill that learning desire in kids in every possible way :c
I LOVE YOU!!! I am so happy that some people in this world get to have a teacher like that! THANK YOU! I just feel so grateful, I don't even know why. I am not working in education, nor do I have any kids, but listening to this man feels... soothing, warm, caring.
I have an 8 month old little girl and this just gave me a ton of information going forward. Thank you for this extremely helpful video. You’re doing God’s work sir 🙏
I taught for 17 years in secondary, and while some of these elements are not as doable with older kids (like physical touch), whenever I’ve applied these things- BAM, the kids focus more, we get things done, good vibes in the classroom, less behavior issues. It’s an awesome learning experience. Thanks for posting!
My son is 3 and he can read very well for his age. He recognizes and remembers most kindergarten sight words already as well.❤
Hi, what kind of strategies are you using with him? My son is 19 months and recognizes certain letters and makes the phonetic sounds (sounds them out!) when he sees them. He’s not talking as much as I’d like though. I would love to hear what’s worked for you even though we’re obviously a bit younger than your little one. And great job mom! ❤
@@queendeche4555I ask my child tons of questions to keep his mind stimulated. Things that he really has to think about or jog his memory for. Now that hes almost 4, he takes initiative by asking lots of questions as well. Repetition and routine play a big part in our lives which I think is helpful. The biggest factor is my son's eagerness to learn new things everyday. He also has a great memory to the point where I'm pretty much amazed myself. He's literally a sponge that once he hears or sees something once he remembers it forever lol. He can tell you about things that happened when he was 1 and 2 years old.
Yay 🎉
Also toss in numberblocks they helped our son count and do math at second grade level while in kindergarten.
Wow mine too, which is so remarkable
My children are hurting from things myself and their dad has done, spankings and yelling. He has passed away but I'm trying to rebuild our home. I'm glad and grateful I came about onto your page
I was a reading teacher and can't tell you how many times parents would not believe the difference in their child's behavior at school. It was entirely due to my attention, direction and expectations in the classroom. I wish I had learned earlier in my career, but for me, experience played part.
Finally, quality content on CZcams. Listen to the strategies, embrace the philosophy, believe in the process. Intentional and consistent are the keys. Great video.
Thanks so much- appreciate it!
My dad did this with us as children over 60 years ago! I miss my dad and I’ve been using this with my 4 grand nieces. No screaming, slapping or hollaring. But simple face 2face conversation., yesss all these my dad was such a wonderful dad❤️
It’s weird to me that this needs to be taught😅 somewhere along the time line things got so lost
@@angelinasanchez3649broken homes and neglect
May he rest in peace 🙏
that point on questions, statements, and directions works on people of all ages. it's an incredible insight. looking back on the times i've been in teams that felt great and teams that felt terrible, it's pretty clear that the good work teams had great communication, but this video (on talking to toddlers!) has showed me that it's because knowing how to give clear directions in a calm manner is a surprisingly rare skill.
I am a preschool teacher. Over the years I've worked with two through five year olds. - I do this all the time -- especially with the youngest ones! (Twos REALLY need this direct connection and focusing support to help them attend!) - but I have never heard what I do to help children follow directions broken down so clearly and concisely!! -- And, honestly, I know I could never have explained what I am doing TO anyone as a strategy because - for me - it's a way of working with children that has come from an intuitive place. I've never thought about breaking it down strategically -- but now -- if a parent ever asked me how to help their child follow directions at home -- I would have such an amazing, concise six step process to offer them! Thank you for giving me the words to easily explain and share what I do every day!! SO GRATEFUL my You Tube feed sent you to me today!!!
😊💖
I teach two kids German in a private home. They are under age 12. I didn't realize how much I needed this. Thank you for being so to-the-point!
Maybe they don’t want to learn it because they don’t need it anywhere else. If they would go to a school in Germany, doing sports in a german team or have german friends they might have an intrinsic motivation to learn german in no time I would guess.
This is perfectly explained. I was a Child Development Specialist at a local hospital and this is exactly what i did but I couldn’t have explained it better. I worked with children with all types of developmental delays and it works. Even kids who have experienced trauma and are labeled “bad” kids respond to it. That confident, calm energy is everything. It makes them feel safe and secure. Even now I use this with my kids at home. 👏🏽👏🏽
Amazing😮... I am with open mouth... Today is the first time I received a task from my sons nursery. He is 3 years boy non verbal and on the pathway for ASD. I am truly convinced that despite his condition he can do anything, so AMEN, I thank God for this video, cause I was here trying to think how to call his attention to help him with the homework. Thank you very much for sharing this video, I'll definitely come back to give you the feedback. God bless
I just love how you say “my kids”. It shows genuine love for what you do. I admire your dedications.
This information should be mandatory during training! Sir, you can make the difference for millions and also in your community ❤
Thankyou for taking the time to film, God bless you 🙏🏼
You sir, are a child whisperer. Thanks for sharing this gem of information!
one time i saw my son calm his 2 yr old daughter so easily and even quickly i called him the 2 yr old whisperer. i think he had this knowlege and ability ar birth. he grew me up.
This was wonderful. How many people don't realize how their own energy comes across and affects how kids behave
CZcams can be a valuable resource depending on how you use it. I recently discovered that even without searching for it, CZcams can still be a great help to me. It's amazing how much knowledge and information is available on the platform. Great video sir💯👍🏿
This was clear, well spoken, and straight forward. Noted for my future babies ☺️
As a parent I love to see "for my future babies"
Hey! I’m not a parent, but an auntie and photographer who directs a lot of kids on set. This is so absolutely true and such a helpful refresher!! Kids are so smart and see right through us.
I have been using his technique for over 25 years. It’s one of many methods we Educators in Social pedagogy use. Glad to see this gentleman breaking it down again .
This is the essence of being a good parent. All it is, is this. It's so damn simple. Human connection, and allowing the kid to feel they are in control.
This is excellent. Admittedly I purchased the entire program thinking that YOU were teaching (via video) and felt a bit overwhelmed when I realized you were teaching US PARENTS how to teach our kids! Whew 😅😅😅. This is just what I needed! My 4 yr old is ready but I haven’t given her the attention to really so this! I have a 13 month old as well. I must say these videos are giving me the confidence to start again! Thank you so much for this!!! Can’t wait to share my success!!
Glad it was helpful! You’ve got this! 💪🏽
I am so happy I found your channel today ! You got yourself a new subscriber. Great job!
Thank you so much ! 🙏🏼💛
I am a 36 yr old, first time mom. You have taught me sooooo much, thank you. Im sending this to all my friends. Thaaaaank you. My daughter is 1 and im gonna use this method and watch this video as much as possible until we get it right.❤
How do the algorithm gods know? Perfect timing to show up on my feed for my current struggles with my 3 year old.
Thank you!!! 👏 👏 👏
Thats me hoping i can do this With my 3 year old 😅 She is one tough Lady
I’m a teacher (retired) and I love this! I wish I had this when I first started. You are blessing to new teachers!!!
Tomorrow is my first day at school as a kindergarten teacher... Listening and learning to these points have made me more confident and you have literally explained to me how should i perform at school... Thanks alot
I hope the school year went well for you! ❤
@@queendeche4555 yeah it went very well thanks ❣️
How was the the year
@@ustaadaadam it was very tough at first as I was new ... Every senior tried to bully me ... But now alot of time has passed actually... I'm trained ..
The things which used to take a lot of time ... Now I just do them within seconds... It just makes me feel so glad that I've came across a long path
... Well but after it's been a year since I'm teaching ...now I'm looking for a bigger school a better opportunity... Hopes to get one
Thank you :) as a single mom at 34 with a toddler I find myself overwhelmed communicating with my 4 year old daughter sometimes and I always asked what can I do better .. so grateful to come across your content !❤ I will come back in a few weeks with an update as I begin to put those skills to use. God bless your heart ❤
You’re an absolute genius man. This video needs 10x more views
This is so good. I work with children with autism, and we use this type of teaching method. It doesn’t matter what the student chooses, but that he is choosing something that you want to teach. You set them up for success.
So true, my child on the spectrum responds very well to this type of calm direction. Sometimes other parents are annoyed if they have to wait while I seemingly overexplain what is happening to him but guess what, I DONT CARE and also I promise you don’t want to deal with my kid at this party or event if they’ve been under explained to!
Agreed! I work in ABA too! Yes this method is a game changer with any child. Great content!
this makes me more confident that these tips will work with my daughter who has autism and adhd ☺️
As an adult with ADHD and Autism, you can try sure. BUT, if I'm over stimulated , good luck anything going in. You need to accommodate sounds, smells, light, textures... the 'looking at the eyes' , I never liked that. I was forced for many decades. It did so much damage. And I'm 40 now. Late diagnosed. If someone would have told me my diagnosis as a child I would have immediately felt better. But now that I'm an adult. I have to grieve my old life, and live a new life.
@theoneandonly1158 I ask this as sensitively as I can so please hear me. If someone you trusted (like a parent) would have to explained that looking in the eyes can build confidence, would that have helped? I struggled with it too but want to know if that would have helped. I was always demanded to look when it physically would hurt. I can do it now but it's uncomfortable sometimes. I know it does build my confidence now so I'm wondering if anyone else could have maybe benefitted from an explanation over our parents demanding "respect" usually ..😅 hopefully this makes sense
Being a teacher is not only about implementing the core curriculum. But also, and perhaps above all, the ability to talk to the student.
Thank You.
Thank god this video popped up on my feed. I just moved my grade 2 autistic/ADHD son to home school and I can already see this is going to do wonders for our success!
Good luck! I was homeschooled / unschooled growing up and I loved it. Hope you’re able to find some local communities to connect with, that makes it so much more fun!
I am now a Grandmother watching this as times change and thought it would be useful generally to help with my Grandchildren Its very good advise Being totally focused on your child is the key I believe Great video thank you
I’m a student teacher and I just sent this out to my cohort as we are welcoming a behaviour strategist to our lecture today. Thank you 💕
Man you got some real Dad Power on you.. I just want to add that I grew up with a Mother who weaponised the "no" till adulthood and when I became a Mother myself I did this thing where I would tell my son "no" only where necessary and I would actually explain why I said "no" and I kid you not, today he's 13 and he's NEVER been unruly or acted out. I still do this process you just explained with him but in an age appropriate fashion cuz I also feel like when I'm sincere with him he is positively responsive. When I bark orders and make demands he just switches off and disconnects from me and I don't want that. Also, I've made an effort to demonstrate healthy anger to my son so he doesn't think it's a bad thing to be angry. If he breaks the rules, I will show my anger but I stay far away from saying regretful and hurtful things to avoid a mess. And most importantly, I've taught my son the difference between asking for forgiveness, apologising and saying sorry by never being too proud to do it where necessary for him and others.
What do you mean weaponized the "no"?
@@righteousnessrules-ik5jc She withheld independence until a very late age. I wasn’t allowed to pursue the courses I wanted in school, I wasn’t allowed to socialise outside of school, I wasn’t allowed to do anything that would make me independent of her…just generally speaking.
This will work when getting my four sons to do their chores. ❤ I really feel EMPOWERED after hearing this! Thank you!
I rarely comment on CZcams videos but this gentleman's message compelled me to applaud his content. This is so true and I wish more people would take time with their children to make learning fun. All children are capable of learning in this way and if we all invested the time the world would be a better and happier place.
I’m not in childhood education nor do I have kids of my own, but helped rear several of my nieces and nephews. This information is GOLDEN! Thank you! 🙏🏾
Im 20 with no kids, but I love kids, and I love seeing that there’s content like this out there👏 GO you sir! All teachers need to see this :)
I echo the sentiments below ❤ I kept getting more and more frustrated with myself and my little boy and thinking I must be doing something wrong. I truly want to say Thank You for breaking this down in such a clear and empathetic way instead of condescending like some others do. Immensely grateful for u!! 🙏
This was divine order! Log on today and it’s the first thing I see. I was definitely guided here ❤
I'm a new homeschool mom of a 5 and 4 yo with a 2.5 and 7mo.. I'm so grateful for the tips! You are confirming a lot of things my mom told me and you are giving me new insight on how to engage with my kids as we learn together ❤️
I'm glad!
I'm a behavioral therapist and this is spot on with how we get children with behavioral and or learning challenges to comply with their work.. But the principles and techniques work on literally anyone even adults.
I agree!
I’m a homeschool mom and all this is so obvious BUT the way you explain it is just amazing and even to us who *know* all this, you make it clear and so concise as a reminder! Thank you so much!!
WE are regularly asked to give likes or follows by YTbrs, they should know that it is the quality of the content what really matters to EARN that.This master doesn't even have to ask for it and it is WE who should want to follow him to LEARN how to be better parents.
To all parents: Remember that it is WE that are RESPONSIBLE for rising better children, that can really create a better world for the next generations.
Thanks for sharing bro!
I'm a parent and my kids are much older. I wished I had come across a similar video 20 years ago; That would have been extremely helpful. Just the same, I'm going to use these techniques on my teenager. I believe it'll actually improve my parenting and increase his productivity. Alright; Here we go.
I got halfway through this video and immediately began implementing these techniques on my own children and it had an amazing effect.
I realized it was so much more a respectful approach to them for where they are at than expecting them to think like me.
And of course if you want to get respect, it starts by giving...
I had learned similar parenting techniques and used to practice geffing eye to eye all the time, but after having 3 and the competition and noise in the room and constant demands or simply constant talking... Makes me so dizzy that I lose my temper.
This approach helps me slow the pace of the room, bring the peace, and teach respect by example.
Thank you!!!
My middle son is special needs and if he's tired, he can't even hear directions.
I get impatient because we are always in a hurry to get somewhere on time... And I may have been using that as an excuse to lose my cool.
My kids are smart, fun, capable, and caring. They deserve better than a frazzled, harried mom.
I can take a breath and reframe to manage the environment. To let my own anxiety go so it doesn't effect them as negatively.
Phew.
The results after only 1/2 this program were like smooth as butter magic and felt so effortless. Their response to me was so calm and focused.
Thank you! This earned my subscription.
My kids are worth that. Thank you.
When I follow this advice I'm reminded parenting is something I get to do, a privilege, not just a gauntlet of unbeatable challenges I have to survive through or put up with.
Kids are sponges. They soak it up and squeeze it out - whatever we put out there they soak up.
Love the reminder about self control for the grown up.
If they aren't responding to us like we know they can respond to others then the issue isn'the kid or the others. Ahem.
Dho! Convicted - me.
Thanks for taking me to church. On my children's behalf. This will help bring a calm,something peace to our household that we all need and I have been trying to change and blaming my own ADHD. We just got to keep trying and keep finding what works as we all learn, grow, and change.
Thank you. I was giving up on myself as a mom. I was right there. This is helping to change things for me today right away.
I was amazed at how fast it worked and how the experience made so much sense to talk to them the way they want to be treated. To honor where they are instead of expect where they could be or where I think they should be.
It hurts I didn't find this sooner for them but will keep practicing. Thank you!
We home school our kids, and after seeing this, it’s nice to see I’ve been doing some things intuitively right. The biggest thing I need to work on is not getting frustrated when they’re having trouble focusing or just not getting something that I think should be simple or that they’ve gotten before. I think the latter example is what frustrates me the most. When my son seems to regress in his learning it’s so frustrating. I guess I just don’t understand how the child brain works because you’d assume that once you get something you retain it, especially if it’s simple. Apparently that’s not how it works. If I could just get over this hump teaching would be a breeze. I definitely love doing it. Nothing is more satisfying than successfully teaching my kids things they need to know.
Children learn THROUGH repetition and revisiting work. Once you understand this IS HOW they learn -- you will loose this current frustration you are experiencing and design your lessons to expect and accommodate this. Have fun with it! Find multiple ways to get the information you want them to understand across to them from different angles -- within different contexts. This is what can make teaching exciting and fun for both of you! Once you build into your expectations that you WILL be revisiting this lesson in multiple ways you'll have a whole different expectation of them - and yourself -- in this learning process! Sounds like you're doing wonderful work with your children! You got this one, too!
This actually works great and I realized my mistakes right away when hearing this video. Today I brought home a little koolaid for a water bottle. Its something i almost never do but I positioned myself directly in front of him and gave him instructions to teach him the use and the dangers of the product and he listened very well and even forwarded that to his younger brother very clearly, but then later he was up in one of the shelves and instead of directing i basically shouted at his back while he continued to pull down something, even retorting with the answers to my questions. This was the perfect lesson for me today learn today, thank you for sharing this. I now understand why the baby listens and the toddler doesn't. It's not them, its myself. ❤
Yes. You’re co-regulating them, giving clear direction, and giving them a voice. Thank you for this concise breakdown. 🙏🏽