Future Where Being Single Is Considered A Crime
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- čas přidán 26. 11. 2021
- In the near dystopian future, not being in a relationship is considered a crime. To survive in the world, one should always be with a romantic partner.
MOVIE NAME= TH3 L0BST3R
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"He is short-sighted" "I guess he didn't see it coming" lol ...the puns are the best part of these recaps 🤣
Im short-sighted too and i laughed too
cringe
I know this is not related to this comment (I just need people to see this)
Anyways: Did anyone notice it said "Future Where Being Siblings Is Considered A Crime" LIKE BRO- I READ IT
I am short-sighted and that was one of the best puns. Lol
True
I'd just have to accept my fate if I lived in that world.
Just choose a good animal like a bird or a horse
me too dude
Welp, same goes for me
@@talahari2441 lol
i would really like to be a crocodile
“You are human. I am human.” Done. I’m sure they both share a love for pickles, too, or SOMETHING. Dude doesn’t have to blind himself like what
“Hey….. heard you like breathin”
I love food. U love food. Yesssh
Rule bending by grammar fucking, luv it.
Congrats, you just figured out the message of the film
"Hey cutie heard you like blinking?"
I do feel like a lot of people force themselves into relationships out of obligation and a fear of being alone. Plus society itself keeps pushing the idea that you NEED to be in one in order to be happy or normal.
Are u married.... Virginia?
What
Yeah, it's been ingrained in me ever since i was little, I would stalk and develop obsessions with boys I was close with. I ended up ruinin a lot of friendships and have difficulty being in relationships with the mentality of "boys and girls can't just be friends"
Life's been a lot easier seeing everyone as potential friends rather than mates
Yes, being single is considered as somehow as a ‘curse’.
The most messed up part of the movie was when the guy tried to end up with the heartless women, commentating that it can be seen as better to be in an abusive relationship, than no relationship at all. But honestly the deal about being able to choose to be any animal you want sounds to good to be true, I would instantly choose to roam free as a bird or a cat than live in that society.
Just find a person you love and start hating the society, ask her to do the same and now you have a common interest and you can be a couple, really there were so many ways to solve this problem
@@italianmilk6903 Yeah, but that's not even the point. If society had become that bad, would it even be worth it to try and survive as a human, knowing that you'd be condemned to a living hell for the rest of your life? I'd rather be a seagull... or honestly just about anything that isn't a human. Live free or die, you know?
@@midnightshadow1491 maybe as I said in another comment the world is not all like that
@@midnightshadow1491 and probably turning into an animal gives you 109 types of not curable illnesses
@@italianmilk6903 So, you're telling me that without weapons, provisions, and while being hunted as a fugitive, you could flee the country? Eh, I guess you could try it, but you don't have to be a statistician to know that the odds of success aren't very good. I guess you could try to survive long enough to kill the guy that implemented the system though.
You know what i hate MORE than a bad movie?A cliffhanger ending of a GOOD movie!
All I read was more good
I think it is more artistic choice like making the viewer think of their own ending you know?
They NEED to do a sequel
@@hoppuu its very lazy writing in my opinion then
@@martimking1craft Nah, not really, there were like only two choices anyways, it is just letting people choose what they like more. Personally I say he left her because he seems like that kind of a person.
I was thinking about how David still took his brother even after he became a dog and i just couldn’t imagine loosing your brother. When the heartless girl killed bob it was so sad. Now he’s lost his brother twice
Ad: “There are hot singles in your area!”
The cops: “Ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em”
BRO. you took this meme so perfect that it's funnier than the video!🤣🤣🤣🤣 Mystery Recapped OBLITERATED
"I guess he didn't see it coming"
"Good thing he is a lefty"
"This is some dobby the house elf shit"
- absolute gold😂😂😂
I posted before you but got no likes
Time stamp please for the dobby one
@@mamtayadav.taylorsversion5483 @ 4:15
@@mystierayn1077 thank you 😊
timeswap ; 4:14
Honestly, if you think about it this is a commentary on the social attitude towards marriage, couples, and romance. Being single, or virgin gets you mocked and made fun of by your peers, coworkers, and often it's assumed you have something very very wrong in order to not have a partner, even when some choose not to, or can't, there's nothing wrong with not being about to find a gf/bf, but you're seen as an undesirable human. The film takes this to an extreme, with the intense laws on partnership, small metaphorical commentary scattered around like the forceful nature to have something in common, the demotion to "animal" when someone can't find a partner, and people like the runaways, who represent incels who are the very extreme end.
Partnership and romance has slowly turned from a private, sacred thing into a Toy, a good or service, and most emphatically a social status.
Yeah, I also interpreted the hotel’s rules on masturbation as how Christian communities treat sex outside of marriage. You aren’t allowed to be horny but maybe if you’re horny enough, you’ll find a partner faster by their logic.
This is an excellent comment that I wholeheartedly agree with. Thank you
Great analysis and sadly big truth to it!
"being a virgin gets you mocked" In many cultures around the world (maybe except of america ?) its the other way around. When you are virgin you get praised and people see you as clean
@@pancakes590 but christians never forced you to get married so the first commenter comment is more like it
If being single is a crime then I’m serving a life sentence.
And i'm serving a death sentence.
I'm an animal now.
I'll be an orca and lead a massive super pod of other orcas to rule over the seven seas as apex predators who like to play with our food before eating them.
4th comment
@@zeno-two0255 5th bruh XD
"...they're turned into an animal of their choosing"
i would 100% embrace the single life
I guess the biggest problem is you could possibly be kicked to death and die a lot sooner than you would have as a human haha
I always wonder how these dystopian things started. I can imagine some politician roaring about imprisoning single people and somehow convinces enough people to think it's worth implementing as a law.
It’s probably something related to religion and low population, it would be really cool to explore the world of this movie a little bit, maybe it’s different in other places of the world
These ideas would usually get the politician shot dead especially if his American.
A smarter way for dystopias to start is the politician addressing prevailing social issues first (like the Nazis and the Bolsheviks)then implementing crazed ideas once they are popular and well established enough
@@italianmilk6903 if you have a low population killing the singles makes it worse
@@robos3809 yeah you are right, also they don’t kill the singles
The fact that people can come up with these movie plots is also scary lol
"Not being in a relationship is considered a crime"
Me:
smiles a little bit
Yeah
me: an animal
♪♪ Baby I'm a gangster too ♪♪
*IM IN DANGER*
*turns into a mouse*
If the matching trait can be a physical attribute, why didn't they both dye their hair the same color or opt for something less drastic than going blind?
Because they're stupid, like most of the premise of the movie honestly.
Watched this movie for a scriptwriting class and it's great. Became my favorite movie. Wanna add that when the Nosebleed girl and boy started to have a rocky relationship, the hotel gave them a child because apparently that fixes relationships
When you really think about it the premise of the movie is very terrifying being forced to find love within 45 days or be turned into an animal and if you try to leave your considered a loner and your hunted like game so either way if you don't want to participate or if you can't find a partner your screwed no matter what
@Squid Game 2.0 in my channel stfu
@@NeinCookiesforu next time report them for commercial content instead of replying
If you gay in this movie and get turned into an animal, you get to be gay to other animals. Loophole the movie could not patch
screwed? man id love to be turned into a t rex and go on a genocide spree
I found another loophole. Incest could be legal in the movie so to not be turned into an animal. Who knew there were so many bugs in this movie?
The “he didn’t see that coming” joke was so funny
I was wondering if people would catch it
I like the metaphorical representation of many real issues we encounter in our societies :
-The deadline for finding a partner is 45 days, like in societies people are expected to be married by a certain age
- The choice of a partner is based on superficial attributes (because the goal is to be married before the deadline, better simplify things up )
- If you don't find a partner in 45 days you're transformed into an animal to lead a purposeless life, just like in societies they think that those who didn't marry and make a family lead a purposeless life.
- the loners are the opposite extreme, and they exist in real life too
"Good thing he's a lefty", "This is some Dobby the house elf ishhh" &"He didn't see that coming" 😂🤣😂 absolute comedic gold.
However on a serious note it does illustrate eloquently how much people are willing to change themselves to fit their partner.
Nobody asked
@@chrisdawson1776 ???
@@edd2184 🤡
@@chrisdawson1776 The only clown car I ever been in was your mother's kitty.
Hi son sorry I haven't been there in a while
@@edd2184 🤡
I've always been curious about this film but never got around to watching it. Thankyou
@Squid Game 2.0 in my channel nobody cares
If you never got around to watching it, then you got straight to watching it, meaning you've watched it
Just like me lol
Same because it seemed super stupid. So I'm glad I watched this 10 minute video instead
Same here. I never knew what to think of it
In real life, i think it wouldin't be that hard to find a mate, cause surely a man and a women in the same place would go 44 days without finding someone so they would be like "well crap, we gotta date or turn into animals"
yeah lol
It's not that it's hard to find someone to bone, it's hard to find someone to bone with the same 'attribute', and that's fairly arbitary. Most of these people are brunette and fair skinned but they can't just be together by their coloring, but some random things like myopia and nose bleeding.
@@aesyamazeli8804 lol i'm thinking what my "attribute" would be. Like what would be considered one?
@@beautyallaround_ just imagine must people defined their attribute as being humam
@@meghanachauhan9380 you're everywhere
If short/long sighted is a defining characteristic for look for a relationship I'd be in trouble - since a problem with my eyes makes both my close up and distance vision extremely blurred lol
"He didn't see it coming" - oh that was brutal..
I might have choked on my coffee with laughter when he said that...
Damn 🔥🔥😂
On the bright side: at least they get to choose what animal they get to be.
I would be a Gorilla
@@lutherholayeahme7449 why? oh me? i would want to be a crocodile cuz they never age!
I would be a wolf or a harpy eagle
I would choose to be Human
@@mrobseqium what do you mean they never age? wtf? jellyfish are the ones who never age...
Buddy, I salute your ability to make this ridiculous plot sound intense! Almost as good as when you did The Thinning, Parts 1 & 2!
When he says "wow this is dobby the house elf shi*" I laughed so hard🤣🤣
Its a true horror movie for people who wants to live single throughout their life
or people who just want to take their time to find the right relationship and wait until their ready, and not be forced into the decision immediately like their life is on the line
I do not want to. I am forced
Force is an euphemism for repressed desire to be in a company...we are actually free to choose
@@mukundaupadhyay1133 mutual choice is the name of the game so if no one else make you as their choice then passively you are forced @ConstructorFL
@@xnTrikkk understandable sorry bro
i really like this channel this dude has a very calm voice and explains the movie in a very understandable way
Have u seen his gaming channel n how wild he is lmfao
he also slips some jokes (probably) not on the script
Thanks Qingxin!
CZcams. Why are you guys taking down my comments?
@Duke McTaire Thank you Duke!
"If you remain single after 45 days, you become an animal of your choice..."
Me: Remain single, become T-Rex, dominate world, profit.
That’s a choice?
Your voice is soooo soothing ! I literally watch one mistery Recap always before bed
Actually relaxes me and helps me drift off
I love this movie, and i couldn't keep in some of the symbols that shocked me...
Reserved activities for couples such as a table for two.
Privacy, intimacy and sharing 1:1 is socially acceptable between people who are connected through their "couple-monogamous-normative" dynamic, but if it's outside that normative, such as singles, it becomes frowned upon.
His brother who couldn't find a partner becomes a dog, so many dogs alter the food chain, a lobster which can live for longer periods of time is praised.
The loner who is willing to embrace their loneliness is the other half-praised road that the social norm can accept along with being in a relationship with someone.
Chastised for self pleasure inside the hotel
People who live their lives single are frowned upon when enjoying their sexuality by themselves through masturbation and self exploration, being the social norm to "enjoy more with someone than you do when you're alone".
The knife and the mirror, is he willing to go blind to have matching attributes?
Are you willing to lose part of yourself to become more like your potential partner and fit in?
i guess love is blind 👀
edit: actually he dont need to go blind- he can actually just donate one of his eyes to that girl(if that possible well depends ) by doing that , they have matching attribute. i guess?
@@Levi-mu5xy in theory, yes...
What you said, in my opinion, can be translated to sharing the burden, just him seeing things and explaining them to her with his two eyes is also a form of sharing the burden, and accepting flaws as a way to compensate having "no traits in common".
In fact, it would've been a nice ending imo, a bit far fetched since that society would have different concepts than ours, and a phrase like "i'll be your eyes" is too cheesy for the mood.
It can't be that hard to find a "matching quality".
Just tell them you two have the same hair colour and call it a day xD
Has to be a *defining* attribute :/
@@amosdraak3536 I am not really convinced that needing a pair of glasses is really more of a defining attribute than a certain haircolour ^^
IDK, I think it’s dumb, too. But I guess that’s just what the plot required so it wouldn’t be that easy
@@amosdraak3536 like idk.. loving butter biscuits..
@@trollkiller1008 🤤 Buttermilk biscuits are too damn good. Everyone would be able to get with anyone since that’s a universal thing. Lol When I eat at chicken restaurants, the biscuits are what really make the deal 😂
I've been watching your videos for a long time and I love them keep up the good work
I like how it's called the lobster purely because of a fairly throwaway line right at the start lol, like they intentionally called it that just to mess with people and make them wonder "why is it called the lobster?" (5 mins into the film) "...oh"
Because he "could" survive for a hundred years. Yeah, you wouldn't even last a hundred minutes inside that hotel. 😋
"Singles must find partner in 45 days or turned to animals"
gold diggers will not matter any more lol.
+B they do actually we literally see the protagonists original wife abandons him in order to get with someone else
@@thedoruk6324 She cheated
Only broke people always complaining about gold diggers who don't even give them a second glance.
If this was real I'd definitely choose to be a Jellyfish or a tardigrade because both of them are immortal. In the wild the strongest live, but in humans the smartest is the last to stand.
I was thinking the same thing.
ehhh not immortal but you will live a very long time
but jellyfish don't have brain so i don't think they can turn you into a jellyfish
@@Chuked jellyfish is immortal.when it ages,it turns its body into baby phase.only death was is either starving or getting hunted
@@alikeremozfidan288 what can u explain that with more details?
This channel is amazing! Complete breakdown on movies I would never take the time to watch
Thank you for this gift ....much appreciated!
Liked & duly subscribed
Bless you & all reading this!
Getting turned into an animal of your choice is a punishment?
*I see this as an absolute win!*
exactly! If they meant any animal well obviously I want to be a mythical creature but if they meant real life animals only, I would pick Chimpanzee cuz they're basically ugly humans with a little bit less IQ
@@spongememefunnypants9101 don't forget Chimpanzee are strong as heck.
@@Milenos yeah I know
They didnt specify if weapons/vehicles named after animals are considered so… yeah
LET ME BE A GODDAMNED TIGER 2
real shit
I thought the lesson of the film was that similar attributes doesn't define a relationship, and then the ending ruined it with the man blinding himself too
We don't know if he did or not... for all we know, he looked at the knife, chickened out and went back to the place to be turned into a lobster. The movie is literally called Lobster.
This man is so calming and funny at the same time. I love it
The unnecessary aspect is the attributes matching part. I mean if I really need to find myself a partner, I believe in opposites attract Mantra! Having polar differences and coming together to co exist despite that seems cooler to me.
I agree. I feel like two short sighted people would be terrible together, and constantly stressed and blaming each other for the problems that neither of them foresee. Now, someone who always obsessively plans with someone short sighted might work, because they'd remind each other of the value of the things the other person is inclined to forget (like the value of living in the moment vs the value of planning ahead, because there are times that are good for both these mindsets).
You *know* there's a group of people who purposely don't get a partner because they'd rather be an animal.
like theyve identified their whole life… this is their top surgery
Being a cat or a bird wouldn't be that bad
furries
I mean I'd love to find the love of my life but if that's a normal thing that happens if you can't then I wouldn't mind being a turtle or tortoise cause I mean at least they don't kill you
Not because I'm a furry but just if this situation came up I think I would be really cool to be a turtle cause I mean it's a turtle and I like turtles they my favorite animal
"most chose dogs, which negatively affects ecosystem and foodchain"
so.... you guys could try this thing where you DONT turn single people into animals?
Nah
I'll be a wolf
@@seantaggart7382 AWOOOOOOO
Yeah, like wouldn't it be more effective to just keep them in the hotel for indefinite time till they find a partner? If they are turned into an animal they sure won't be finding one and there will be less people so more difficult to find a partner. I get is supposed to be an authoritarian dictatorship that punished singles , but being trapped in one place with strict rules and no free will, seems like enough of an incentive for people to want to find a partner to get out of there...
I would be an elephant and inconvenience everyone
Actually wouldn't less human inoorve the food chain and be better for the ecosystem
you said that "i guess he didnt see it coming" pun with such a calm voice i almost didnt notice it was a joke
This simply proves the point, "Love is blind."
If this were real, I'm screwed big time lmao
Edit: Now I have questions, do you remember your life when becoming an animal? How did they achieve that kind of science, did they cure cancer??
What’s wrong with being an animal?
Or maybe find someone with mutual benefits, like "we both can date each other so we won't turn into animals"
Same! However there’d be more desperate people wanting a relationship, so your odds would actually be better.
Like just imagine the business of dating websites in this world, they’d just skyrocket like crazy! 📈
Same
@@blck21 Married for tax purposes
People who were single their entire life: *Guess i'll die*
Lol same but cuz I'll be with the loners .. i mean i d love to be a crow but don't u ever obligate sm on me I'm a rebeeeel babyyyy lol
Haha this is one of the few movies I actually knew about before your recap!
That's actually awesome lol
Also his brother being a dog is hilarious and sad at the same time
I’ve been having nightmares watching this content but the voice is so soothing and it sounds so cool I keep doing the same thing over and over 😭
It took me until 10 minutes to realize that by “short sighted” you meant near sighted vision, not the lack of foresight.
Well you can’t be blamed because the fact that was him ‘defining characteristic’ is insane. Just like having nosebleeds or a lisp 😂 like how do they choose these as like only two nosebleeders will be compatible in life… sure
Bruh in real life if it came down to being turned an animal or being with someone who doesn’t relate to you in no way shape or form we all gonna pretend to like each other
yeah , they just found a way to decrease divorce rate
Given that the animals may not retain consciousness, we have to consider that the transformation could be a death sentence. However, there are things that are worse than death. All men must die, regardless of how or when, and by surviving, you only prolong your suffering. Better to die on your feet than live on your knees, I'd say.
@@midnightshadow1491 nah I see it as getting some pootang the rest of your life without the feelings part of it😂
@@johnjennings5429 I suppose it all depends on your perspective. One man's meat is another man's poison.
I absoloutly love what they did there. The movie might not be for everyone - but its one of a kind and i recommend watching it !!
The law in this film: "You must have a romantic partner or you will be killed"
Aromantic people: "Welp, guess I'll die-"
Doesn’t matter what side you take, eventually someone surfaces to lead and tells you how to live. Best to not try and be a follower, but instead a leader.
@Hiazro Kailindo , well you just described how not to lead. Being a leader is none of those things and does require being alone sometimes. It also means lead by example. Meaning live and let live, be a positive help and influence and that’s it. Are you afraid to be a leader?
@Hiazro Kailindo , oh and don’t take advice from CZcams comments. They are just food for thought but more on the junk food spectrum.
Furrys "I see this as an absolute win"
Fuck em
Furry hunt, let’s kill them all
@@italianmilk6903
Wtf
"She left him for another short-sighted man. I guess he didn't see it coming."
god damn it
The fact that he said "Good thing David's a lefty" in a such calming voice, I can't
I just wanna say a big THANK YOU to mystery recapped
You guys have no idea how much you matters ❤️
Living in this world would be easy as cake.
Everybody would want a partner, you wouldn't reject nobody.
Even with no matching attributes, you could just lie about them...
I mean, who doesn't like cake? That could be a matching attribute for many people.
Can you marry someone for loving cake though? I can imagine not everyone likes to stack their full with cake.
I am laughing because liking cake more than sex/romance is a meme in the aro/ace comumity, so like, sure, you could find a lot of people who are really into cake, but 1/3 don't want to have sex , 1/3 don't want a romantic relationship and 1/3 don't want either of those things . We all just want the cake 🤣
It's so addictive listening him to narrate.. Makes you feel like you are reaching the 7th Heaven and going further and further..
Thank god for this channel, I don't think I would have sat through this movie.
“He just didn’t see it coming”
Man I felt that one 😭🤣
Imagine the no single people law being applied to kids as much as adults.
Bro, that's terrifying because a government that would implement a law like that would have no problems forcing children into it, as they're easier to indoctrinate.
I'm sorry Jimmy but you haven't clap annabelles cheeks in our highschool we're going to have to turn into a puppy
Kindergarteners have like 7 girlfriends so i doubt that would be a problem
“Guess he didn’t see it coming”
DAMN MAN, RUTHLESS
"He didn't see it coming." lol 😂
SUBSCRIBED!
i'd want to become a wandering albatross. they have a very long life span and can cross entire oceans. I really like the idea of having wings and being able to fly so yeah
As a kid I was fascinated by two animals.
1. Elephants
2. Fish
I would love to be an elephant in a zoo where i am taken care of and treated well, or in the wild where i take care of a herd and wander the beautiful grasslands of Africa, somewhere in a sanctuary.
I would love to be a fish, maybe a barracuda or a shark, swimming in the ocean, exploring the seas and seeing all that is beneath the earth.
@@Ben-jl2rh that'd be cool. Yeah I've wanted to be either a bird or a shark.
@@ordinarypotao4859 Cool, what kind of bird?
@@Ben-jl2rh I want to be an orca.
@@LadyCoyKoi Thats a really cool animal.
My friends will still turn into animals even if they are given 200 years to find partner/girl friend 😂😂😂
lol same hahaha
😭😭
Is this the same friend when you said "Is there a way to cure erectile dysfunction? Asking for a friend"
Same
Just because wolves are cute
Yeah I know for fact I woulda been dead a long time ago 😂
0:42 Yes the modern technique, very good *sips tea*
Lanthimos!
Love from 🇬🇷Greece
Thank you!
thank you mr recap for recapping us these movies
I would lose immediately before the law goes into effect
Thank you for the great movie
We need more movies like this that call out sigmaphobia
Have you ever done a recap of 'Okja'? Great job again my friend!
If I fail to find a romantic partner and gets to choose on what animal, I wanna be a Tortoise. Cuz they cool
I see this as an absolute win!
Not being In a relationship is a crime
Me: CRIMENEL
When it said you'd be turned into an animal, I thought it would be random. But when he said "an animal of your choice" I was like helllll yeah
I have a secret plan
Psychopath: Goes ahead and writes it in a journal
ikr god
What an amazing cast!!!
I love the channel but I don’t want to spoil the films I want to watch by watching your videos!
"Good thing david is a lefty"
Had me going
Ok
"this is some dobby the house elf shit" said in the most monotone voice ever made me lose my shit. I laughed for a good 5 minutes haha
Keep making with this
“Future where being single is illegal”
Asexuals: 😳
I'm an asexual... so...
Aromantics more like, i am not sure if they would control the sexual activity of the couples, if they don't, aces are not that bad...but aros are.
Asxuals can still date???
Maybe educate yourself before you say something
@@Fl0rales but asexuals dont like either gender tho yes they can still date but they probably will feel uncomfortable
@@gta5lorecarreviews36 Some asexuals like me, still leaning towards girls and womans
At this point I'm watching this 24/7
If you get to keep your memories and intelligence as an animal, then it would be nice to choose the "immortal jellyfish" (Turritopsis dohrnii). Bonus points if you manage to get a group with you and create a advanced jellyfish civilization that might be able to outlast humanity.
choose a monkey or ape. You be the same
@@nigelbaddock I choose to be a human
But do you know how dull life would be as a jellyfish?
idk what with people and the Immortal as a jellyfish, it doesnt matter if you had all your thoughts they literaly have no eyes and youd just be sitting there bored with your thoughts alone going insane and you can still dye, sure you can sting, but thats not much of a defense mechanism to a lot of pray that will still gobble you up, also if my words sound hostile, im not trying to be, just stating its not really a good choice imo
But thdt jellfuy can be killed IT just can't die age so you would want someone to choose to be whale or something so that could keep your around
"David replies: he wants to be lobster because they live for over 100 years"
Turritopsis dohrnii:
Am i a joke to you?
Tardigrades: Hold our immortality.
Or bacteria,or viruses
You should do Dogtooth too! It’s quite a trip!
The amount of puns and the seriousness of the voice makes me laugh hysterically
The intro makes me feel every emotion at once
This is perfect ! 🤣😂
Let's not lie here watching mystery recapped is fire🔥🔥
I’ve been to that Joel’s restaurant in real life! It’s in Dublin by the red cow hotel, it’s really strange seeing places you know in real life in films
I would rather be a cat than a human so I’d just keep requesting to be turned into a cat without having to wait 45 days in the hotel.
I watched this movie a while back and loved it
What’s that song you use in the beginning? Sounds really awesome!
Wow, they really do single out those who are not in a relationship