Were they really my friends? || Having friends but still feeling left out and not belonging
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- čas přidán 17. 02. 2024
- I felt unwanted. Left out. Lonely. Like I didn't belong. All while surrounded by a group of friends that I grew up with for 13 years. If I had a group of friends, then how could I feel those things? Wasn't that the point of making friends? It took spending over a decade with these people to later understand and appreciate my current relationships that much more.
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#leftout #friendships #belonging
Nice! I’m currently still in high school, and I feel the same way. I’m glad to know that someone else has felt the exact same way, and that it does get better. I’ve always felt crazy for feeling these things that you’ve described, and I’ve also felt the need to be wanted, so knowing that it’s completely normal is nice.
Oh man, high school. I promise you, it most definitely does and will get better. Partially from not being in highschool anymore and a lot because you'll have more control over your life and what direction to take it. Finding your people is hard, but the secret is to continuously put yourself out there and keep meeting people no matter how many failed outcomes. But it's soooo worth it when you find the right people that are for life. It's basically dating lol
you are so beautiful!! You are radiating and there's sunshine on your face
I know I'm not the only one that grew up sheltered, but it always feels good to know when you're not alone in an experience. That somebody else understands.
I'm so happy you have found your people! It's such an amazing feeling when you realize someone comes into your life and they just understand you in ways you've always sought after.
Also, you commenting on my speaking is such a compliment! If only you saw all the excess footage that gets cut during editing 😂Formulating my thoughts and articulating them is definitely a skill that I need to practice.
Thank you for the kind words, your comment was needed more than you realize ❤
i clicked on this video on a whim, but this is so relatable because i went through almost a similar thing like you (the friend i confided in, backstabbed me in the end lol)
Dang, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I try to tell myself that those kinds of experiences help shape us and teach us lessons....but that doesn't make the experience suck any less 🙃
I appreciate you giving my video a chance and watching!
I relate to all of this and the term floater is so spot on! I thought I also had close friends initially but same thing, as time went on, I noticed there “preferred” people and I was more so a safe backup. I eventually learned to just go to the background and focus on just getting through highschool.
Highschool really was basically a hormonal fueled battlefield 😂 It's been over 10 years and I'm still glad that time of life is over lol I saw a post for a 50th high school reunion for my highschool and I could not imagine taking time out of my day to see those people at nearly 70. Like I'm old and tired now, I bet I'll be extra old and tired then 😂😂😂
Im in high school. In my case,my friends never supported me. I was very shameless and they were awkward people. I realised my peronality was changing when I'm being close to them.
But the fact that no one matches my vibe in my school makes me sad. Now i don't have any friend
I mentioned in the video "sub cliques", I used to have a "sub group" of friends in elementary school thru middle school where I so badly wanted to be like them. One-on-one, it was fine. I felt like I had good friendships with each of them. Once we were all together, I felt overshadowed cuz I was different from them as a whole. Basically I felt tolerated lol. Once in highschool, I naturally started gravitating towards the rest of our friends in the overall group. But still didn't quite feel like I belonged. Looking back, I think what got me thru were the surface level friendships I made when I turned to my other extracurriculars. It wasn't what I was searching for, but it was what I needed at that time. Something a lot of people don't realize or forget, is that friendships/relationships can come and go. Not all of them are for forever, even if we have that expectation.
Try approaching someone you've never really talked to, someone you might not normally talk to. Try joining a new club, a gym, or go to a park and just say hi to someone. The thing to remember is you have to put out as much effort as you'd expect from others. And keep trying, you can't stop just because you tried to be friendly to 5 people and none of them worked out because the 6th person could be someone just like you, looking for a friend also.
In the grand scheme of things, highschool is such a miniscule part of your life. I know it may not seem that way right now since you're in high school, but I promise it is. There's so much more to come after highschool. It's all dependent on you, which can be freeing and scary, but the opportunity is there. It's just a matter of whether or not you'll make the most of your experiences.
@@charminglykoko Thank you... Didnt expected this lengthy reply from you.. 😂 anyway good luck.. Make more videos like these
Dear Koko, people are pretty shallow in general, and if you have deeper feelings and thoughts you are already not communicating on the same vibe and people feel that. You felt not wanted, but there have been cues that they felt that they were not wanted from you as well, you just became aware of it later. It is hard to find friends, especially if you need deeper understanding and connection, which many people actually don't need that much, most of the people are happy just socializing with the same group which has the same idea of having fun and that's it. Also if your parents wouldn't let you join them for some activities, they took it for granted later and stopped inviting you, they might have thought that you were "boring" because of that, because you don't join them for fun things. And they also felt the rejection from you. It really goes both ways. But I totally relate to this, been there not once. Mostly I contributed to the situation by sticking to people that I knew subconsciously that they were not my people and thought if I haven't done anything wrong that means that they wronged me. But no, it was just not the right match and I stayed there because I didn't think it could be better and that I deserved better relationships. Friendships are hard until they aren't. I recommend the channel of Caroline Winkler, che has great thoughts and tips on friendships. I'm so glad you have the right people in your life now.
:") i feel you so hard