15 Years Of Marriage Taught Me This One Thing About Women
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- čas přidán 2. 08. 2024
- In this video, I'm going to share with you one of the most important things I've learned about relationships over the last 15 years. This thing is so important that it's worth including in this video, even if you don’t watch the whole thing.
So what is it that I’ve learned about relationships that have made them so successful for me? In this video, I’ll share with you some of the things I’ve done over the years that have helped me build a successful relationship with my wife. Subscribe to my channel to see more videos like this one.
The Attachment Specialist Exposes The Barbie Breakup Scandal | Adam Lane Smith
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Chapters:
0:00 - Introduction
1:21 - Attachment theory
2:36 - Your past patterns will define you
5:58 - The world is full of misconceptions about desires
7:14 - Revelation about people's true desires and how it helped me with my wife
9:10 - Slowly test for compatibility over time
11:30 - One of my client's story about incompatible partners
12:34 - Rush into hard conversations
13:45 - Trust
14:45 - Mutual Growth
15:41 - Be aware of each other's needs and concerns
16:26 - Find ways to strengthen the bond | Vasopressin
17:00 - Secure Attachment
18:10 - Reality check
#adamlanesmith #attachmentstyles #happyrelationship #datingadvice #compatibility
You LITERALLY Have given me better advice than ANYONE in my family.
Screw that red pill bullshit. This is the truth, knowledge, wisdom (and dare I say) LOVE creation that I have been NEEDING and searching for. THANK YOU! And God Bless You!🎉🎉🎉😮😮😮🎉🎉🎉
I'm so glad to hear you're finding what you need! Happy to help. Thanks for your support, and make sure you come to my livestreams so we can chat there! 7pm Central time Tues and Wed
Thank you, Adam I wish someone had taught me about Attachment theory 40 years ago when I was a young man. It is very satisfying to know that young people are learning these truths from you.
Absolutely. It's never too late to learn, grow, and develop new skills. What's the most interesting thing you learned about attachment theory so far?
This was great.❤
Thank you. ❤ Glad you enjoyed it!
As many of your videos I e watched, I never knew that!! I am a SEVERE Anxious like, avoidant left, I FLIPPED never knew any of the behaviors I displayed were even in me. The breakup was early April I couldn’t self regulate. Like To the point i had to go inpatient. Needless to say that was NOT the place I needed to be but had I never found your videos…. My story would have ended in a self fulfilling prophecy. You gave me purpose again. Ive actually decided to finish my masters. But anywho. Thank you!
Thanks for the great videos!
I'm 16 years with my husband and we have two teenagers. I didn't know how to put into words why my marriage with my husband works and why the one I had before that failed. Your videos help me to have deep meaningful conversations with my teens about their future relationships.
I'm excited to see them grow not only in their friendships but professional and romantic relationships as well as we help to teach them how to be better and effective communicators.
The benefit in the process of having these tough conversations with my teens is that their relationship with me is even stronger. They are no longer seeing me as the enemy parent but as a mentor and life guide to help them learn to make positive decisions for their lives. Also I am learning to challenge them more and encourage them to be more independent which is hard because I really like to hang out with them but need them to be able to fly independently. Thanksfully, I'm not out of the loop because the moment they get time to talk to me, they are now sharing about their days more than before. 😁
Very inspiring. And it's true that implementing can be hard/unusual sometimes, especially in beggining, but as I started to have some positive experiences with people thanks to moving towards more secure communication, it is very encouraging and worth it! I would never want to go back into the old patterns
Thanks for sharing! And I love to hear about your positive growth. You've been working hard, and I know you can reach it!
Love this one Adam! Bravo, this is really helpful info!
Great content again Adam. We've had some coaching sessions, but I was wondering about how compatible a couple's politics should be. If you disagree politically, should you after addressing it, just keep it on the side, or do you discontinue pursuing person?
Thank you so much for the video!
You're so welcome! Was there any part of it that was particularly helpful?
What are examples of tough conversations?
Yeah, I like Adam, but no concrete examples in this video
Every relationship I have stepped into has different "tough conversations". Mine had been everything from little habits relationship that puts me off (e.g. playing with phone during intimate moment - later on turned up to be a key trait of undisclosed schizophrenia!) to money and genuine feelings about who is doing most work in the relationship. It is literally anything that can go south in both people are not practicing non-violent communication.
I had an argument with my girl about what I would be comfortable posting on Instagram/what she wears. She wasn’t having any of it. After we fought and cooled down, we decided to have a conversation in the near future so we can be on the same page of what we would both be ok with what she posts and wears and also what I post and wears. That will be a hard conversation for us since, if we don’t agree, we have agreed to just part ways and remain as friend. Yet is a convo that we are both willing to talk about since we are serious about having a long term relationship and if it goes well, we will progress further along to our ultimate goal of marriage, kids, and a fulfilling life.
Tough conversations can be disagreements or differences in POVs about certain things in life. Your partner and you won't align 100% on every opinion, idea, etc. And talking about them is TOUGH. Because it requires you to, without judgement, learn and understand your partner's POV. Maybe even learn something from it. And learning how to make that difference work in the favor of the relationship rather than destroy it.
It could also be about financial matters, family matters, how much time & involvement is needed with family members, friends. It could even be about a daily habit that you absolutely hate. Or something you, your partner or both do to harm the relationship. It could even be about red flags you see in each other and how you want to overcome it. Talking about these things often can lead to arguments. But keeping cool, and resolving this with your partner as a team will make the relationship grow.
Money, boundaries etc
You don't need to have the same views on things. Political religion where you have to be completely honest with a partner is about the relationship can be separate from ideology. Respectful debate about eney thing if you are not trying to change each other. We can be opposite and have very different view of everything and respect taking care of each others needs. You do have to work on the relationship first the we together must comes first it can be don if love respect care understanding and a shared experience of life and put that down and say we together are more important than outside influences and build true communication trust. Let's face it you have different experiences of life culture the differences of the2 sex male and female can be a growth experience of a truly loving relationship
I like your points about working together and discussing the differences so you can be a team. How much overlap do you think is necessary to be able to work together while raising children?
You just wait until you hit your 50's.. You'll be making different videos then.... 15 years was 24 years ago for me lol.
What do you think I’ll be saying differently then?
I would bet that your attachment style remains the same from 25 yrs ago to being in your 50's. Your ideals about relationships probably have changed as you got older, but the dynamics stayed the same. So I don't think the foundation of the message in Adam's content will change as he gets older since there is one objective, to have secure attachments & healthy relationships. ❤
Why does he sounds like coaches and ex army officer?
Because the coach part is really him and the the ex army officer part is a play he started performing some months ago with the help of some speaking coach. He thinks this way of presenting is better than his old style. I wholeheartedly disagree. But the youtube-numbers are probably against me here.
In what way?
Times have changed. The sisterhood is relentless.
Get old and rich. Head overseas to find a virgin. Never bring her back.
How old do you think a man should be before marrying?
Ew
@@AttachmentAdam It may take today's man to be in his 40's before he is bored with unlimited Western 304 side-chicks, has banked $100K+, and is ready to settle down with a single girl to have children.
When ready, Passport Bro it to sample Eastern virgin (pair-bondable) marriage-worthy women, but please do not sully them, and under no circumstances, bring them back to a hostile environment, where they are miserable so convert and become your worst nightmare.
Agh