Reading My Personal Journal & Getting Real * Trigger Warning *

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  • čas přidán 22. 08. 2024
  • Dear Universe... Todays' video is one of the most personal I have ever posted, I might even take it down in a few days. I just want to promote oneness and continue to normalize being open and unashamed to talk about mental illness and trauma. I think the only way we can help each other is by sharing experiences and trying to understand.
    Instagram @yaknowme_hitomi
    If you are a victim of any kind of abuse you are not alone and I love you so much. I promise it will be okay, I urge you to buy a journal and talk about your experiences to someone you feel safe with.
    Thank You SO Much. I honor your existence.

Komentáře • 331

  • @ughdress7728
    @ughdress7728 Před 7 lety +321

    Hitomi is such an underrated CZcamsr. I want to keep her content to myself but it's so hard not to share w the people who need to hear these things

  • @fatymah1138
    @fatymah1138 Před 7 lety +241

    i think i'm going to start tearing up too. you've done it, you've created your own small universe of happiness and we can all feel it Hitomi. i hope your universe never ever stops growing

  • @amyswanson4039
    @amyswanson4039 Před 7 lety +75

    As abuse (physical, verbal, sexual or otherwise) survivors, we should always remember that the abuser was not always cold. The abuser is so often created and shaped by the hands of another. And that person was probably abused too, and so on. But we were the last in the insidious cycle. We were the ones who decided to break the chain. Some interplanetary force bestowed upon us the strength (that or we made it for ourselves) to rebuild ourselves brick by brick with our own means. We endured suffering that almost killed us, but we prevailed. We are like magic beanstalks sprouting into the clouds, after being thrown to the ground like nothing.

  • @elenaromero8122
    @elenaromero8122 Před 7 lety +61

    One of my favorite lyrics are the following: "it's not about faking happiness. It's about not letting sadness win."

  • @keda.23
    @keda.23 Před 7 lety +89

    You should go to a poetry reading where you get on stage and read your piece this is so dark and sad but the writing is beautiful

  • @lagomfolke3364
    @lagomfolke3364 Před 7 lety +101

    god, you're such a beautiful person and such a great inspiration

  • @jadegreen8560
    @jadegreen8560 Před 7 lety +128

    funny how this just came about and I was just watching your video about how you were feeling sad and you opened up about a guy who pushed boundaries that you didn't want to be pushed. & since we're sharing I just wanted to say that when I was eight there was a girl who took advantage of me verbally and sexually and I felt helpless and hurt and disgusting at first but then it came out that she had been sexually abused and had projected that onto me. I never hated her or held anything against her but I felt ashamed to have even been alive. if I didn't have faith and love I honestly would have taken my life a long time ago. Thank you for reminding me why I'm me. I really really love you.

  • @David-zm7mi
    @David-zm7mi Před 7 lety +50

    I wish I could hangout in nature with you and stare into each others eyes until we crying with tears of joy and understanding of the pain we've been through. I live all the way in California but somehow the universe has brought me into your channel and has compelled me to leave a comment.

  • @deenafahed2721
    @deenafahed2721 Před 7 lety +35

    Have you ever read Rumi's poetry? Your writing is so similar and both of you are such beautiful people!
    “Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”
    “Dance, when you're broken open. Dance, if you've torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you're perfectly free.”
    "Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.”
    “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
    and rightdoing there is a field.
    I'll meet you there.
    When the soul lies down in that grass
    the world is too full to talk about.”

  • @saintinthetrap
    @saintinthetrap Před 7 lety +26

    I'm so glad I found your CZcams channel. You're like a big sister to me and I appreciate you being on this earth and sharing your message. I'm 13, but I always feel unwanted, worthless, sad. You are teaching me to love myself and that it's okay to open up. Thank you so much

  • @JayKnowsItAll111
    @JayKnowsItAll111 Před 7 lety +17

    Please don't take this video down! I can already tell this will be my go to pick me up video! Love you so much thank you for your wisdom.

  • @coquettebunniex
    @coquettebunniex Před 7 lety +167

    I wish you were my older sister

  • @FaeK
    @FaeK Před 7 lety +27

    Thank you for pouring your heart out. i LOVE you

  • @gabimaza780
    @gabimaza780 Před 7 lety +35

    All I want out of my life is to be okay with myself. I'm really mad at myself for the choices I've made and things that have happened. And now I find myself at a crossroads. I'm in a relationship and I've reached this level of my mental health that needs a lot my attention. I love my partner but I want to love myself too. I feel such an imanes amount of guilt.

  • @mariaclaral1
    @mariaclaral1 Před 7 lety +28

    thank you for opening up your jornal, it was so... i'm speechless.

  • @tofutwister
    @tofutwister Před 7 lety +8

    I almost never comment on youtube videos just because I feel like I don't have a strong enough opinion on them, but oh my god. You have become not only my favorite youtuber, but my favorite person. I've been watching your videos for only 2 weeks and the things you say are things I wish I have told myself in the past. You're the realest of the real and I can't thank you enough for bringing this much light into my life simply by just talking to a camera! I just want you to know that I truly feel the love you put out into the universe. I feel the happiness and positivity you generously give out. After watching this, I feel happier and more thankful for everything I have and everything that is around me. Thank you for existing.

  • @jasminerebeccacave6217
    @jasminerebeccacave6217 Před 7 lety +11

    How beautiful.. I am sure you have tried, but I found it very healing to 'go back' during meditation into painful memories from my childhood and past and comfort my inner child/self.. lead her away from certain situations, explain it was not her fault, or just provide a guardian presence where there was none... it shifted so much for me and watching your video has reminded me of that. Much love xxx

    • @kusaekusae
      @kusaekusae Před 7 lety

      Jasmine Rebecca Foster omg how do you do that?

    • @jasminerebeccacave6217
      @jasminerebeccacave6217 Před 7 lety +3

      I have personally experienced this in relaxed state where you can almost 'play back' the memory in your mind, from an outsiders perspective. Then I would watch the scene and interject (as my older self now) and perhaps take the child (my younger self) away from that situation or explain what was happening and reassure them. I am by no means an expert and I cannot say this is for everyone, particularly if the memories are too painful to revisit, but it helped me and provides a sense of peace and acceptance x

  • @victoriaajoy
    @victoriaajoy Před 7 lety +5

    "i dont want anyone to feel quilty"
    i know you laughed that off but i feel the same in a sense. like id really like to come out with my story and what lead up to my depression/anxiety i just know a lot of people would think something of it(family member/friends) its sad that we even consider their feelings when they didnt consider ours. but i jut wanted to say thanks for your videos❤ ive been binge watching today and you are just amazing

  • @nargeszagub6035
    @nargeszagub6035 Před 7 lety +18

    Your writing is so beautiful, I look forward to your poetry book 💛

  • @yoshiha10
    @yoshiha10 Před 7 lety +6

    I didn't even want to watch this video but then I caught myself shearing tears with you.. you are so loving and carrying, beautiful human being, I love you and I'm very glad you have youtube channal.

  • @pppotatoes
    @pppotatoes Před 7 lety +2

    I want to start off by thanking you for sharing your story. It is so important to bring these experiences to light. As a survivor of abuse, I know how hard it can be to find an explanation for why those things are happening to you. If you're really really lucky, you come to find that even if things don't happen for a reason, at least that trauma led you to something worthwhile. The best thing I ever did for myself was cast out the darkness that existed within me. I'm so glad that you have chosen to do the same. Love u Hitomi

  • @morganduxbury8176
    @morganduxbury8176 Před 7 lety +1

    You are so strong. Bringing out my struggles of depression, abandonment, sexual abuse and making me cry through them. Girl! I felt your words so deeply and shared a crazy moment! you do this to me all the time helping me through experiences we both share. By speaking your truth you put words into mine that i have not yet learned how to say. You keep it real and i thank you for it. love ya 🌱✌❤

  • @jennv2030
    @jennv2030 Před 7 lety

    I find it so realateble when you talk about how something it the past perseves you present day but happy in the present, Im jst so thankful to god and you that there is someone out there that understands things like this,and yea thank you for spreading love!

  • @athenageorge5924
    @athenageorge5924 Před 7 lety +5

    I connect to this so much, this is so beautiful. You have such a unique soul that spreads out so much light and positivity. Keep doing what your doing and keep growing, your truly an inspirational being of light!

  • @MargieYvonne
    @MargieYvonne Před 7 lety +2

    Your writing is amazing, the way you word things so perfectly makes me feel what you feel. Thank you, thank you for making me feel like i'll be okay in a chaotic world. I completely agree with you, in a way writing has saved my life. Much love hitomi, love you girl

  • @chloet4357
    @chloet4357 Před 7 lety

    What you were saying about the subway really struck a chord with me. It's 3am and I'm shook, girl. You got me feelin all the emotions. Al I seem to do is stress about how I look, what people think of me, and whether I'm good enough. It's me me me and generally negative. But there's no reason for me to think this way !!!! I just need to appreciate now !! It's soooo simple but I've managed to miss it for this long! Thank you so so much hitomi from now on I'm choosing to be happy. Ur a bloody legend keep up the good work gorl. Xoxox love ya loads

  • @bluepeachwhispers6845
    @bluepeachwhispers6845 Před 2 lety

    😭😭Thank you, Hitomi, thank you again. You are so full of life and love, what a beautiful thing that is. Thank you for sharing, what a light you are in the world. 💛

  • @amysho2192
    @amysho2192 Před 2 lety

    So happy for you that you have gotten healing and found freedom. Thank you so much for sharing and helping us who felt similar nor feel so alone. ❤️. Big hugs to you.

  • @ellajohnson6580
    @ellajohnson6580 Před 7 lety +2

    Honestly I watch your videos when I'm stressed or sad and you make me so calm and your making me go all natural with my hair no more bleach dye heat. I'm just growing it out and you inspire me everyday to wear whatever I want and also you make me smile and you make me feel like I should make everyday count

  • @LunaLena221
    @LunaLena221 Před 7 lety +1

    Hey thank you so much for posting this. I'm recovering from a lot of similar things and watching your videos makes me feel so much less alone. Thank you for being so honest and loving with all of us who watch your videos. I am sending you sooo much love. Thank you for being you!!!

  • @gillianmccready7466
    @gillianmccready7466 Před 7 lety +2

    You give me so much hope for the future, thank you so much.

  • @lerkenfeldt
    @lerkenfeldt Před 7 lety

    I loved this video so much. This summer will be three years since my mom passed away, and I have been struggling ever since. I've dropped out of school and several jobs... dream jobs that is. But I just can't seem to find peace within myself and come to therms with the fact that I now am without a mother. She was a beautiful soul and my best friend.. And I have found that writing about my suffering is the only thing that helps me gather my thoughts and stay sane basically.. Just wanted to share that, and tell you that your videos have helped me a lot. I love how enlightened and deep you are. I love your soul so much Hitomi. So thank you

  • @linny.bb1
    @linny.bb1 Před 7 lety +2

    i literally just want to meet you and tell you my story and to show you and hug you and to cry with you. I've been on a marathon watching your videos and I love you so much. I love the way you think, how spiritual you are and just everything about you. thank you, for letting us hear what's in your mind, for teaching us about mental health and self love and also positivity. you are amazing and I love you with all my heart. I was just crying earlier and I came to watch your videos and I stopped and controlled myself before I lost it. so thank you for making me happy Hitomi. I love you, I hope you have or have had a good day🌹💓

  • @emmaleebaker9135
    @emmaleebaker9135 Před 7 lety +8

    I NEED THIS ACTUAL COPY OF YOUR BOOK PLEASE HOLY SHIT HITOMI!!

  • @MalinaCC
    @MalinaCC Před 7 lety +9

    Writing helped me so much when I was depressed or felt lonely. And painting/art/poetry prevented me from self harming. Most of my writing sucked lol but made that heavy weight feel a little less heavier. Love your writing, it's so vivid. You are a beam of light and positive, raw human energy. You have so much wisdom and it's so damn inspiring!! Thanks so much for sharing babe

  • @arianamateus1321
    @arianamateus1321 Před 7 lety

    I adore these videos more real, more personal that you do, because helps other people with they problems, but not only that, talk about what's going on with you give us the chance of help you too. We always will be here for you! ❤

  • @barborazelinkova9486
    @barborazelinkova9486 Před 7 lety +5

    I could never stick to writing a diary, and I regret it a lot now. In late 2011 I met someone who meant the world to me, loved me more than I ever did and made me who I am now, and in early 2012 he committed suicide. He was the kindest, smartest and most spiritually awakened person I've ever known, and I was just a child back then, not fully realising how deep his depression and sadness truly were. I never told anyone about him, anyone I know in person at least, but ever since I've been fluctuating from deep emotionless depressions to very intense self-hate (why wasn't I enough to make him stay), and it is only now, 5 years later that I am starting to accept that it wasn't really my fault, and that the overwhelming love I still feel for him is a positive thing, not something I should be ashamed of or undeserving of. Nevertheless, It's still freaking difficult for me to get any motivation, or just get up from bed. So thanks so much, Hitomi, for teaching me so many positive things about myself, life and the world, and helping me not to give up on myself all the time.

  • @earthsdelight
    @earthsdelight Před 7 lety +2

    Because of you.. I overcame my great fear of being "real, raw, and open". I posted my first Vlog in the early morning hours of today. I won't let fear of being without cripple me from going out, and getting/receiving what I desire. I love, and appreciate everything that you are Hitomi ❤️ we will continue on this journey of normalizing such openness between each other. And learning to build a foundation of love that can't be shaken. We will continue to grow, and change. But what a beautiful thing it is!!

  • @crosbyblake-leibowitz6394

    This video is so many things. Beautiful. Meaningful. Powerful. Your words are so special and so strong.
    I love taking notes on your videos. They constantly make me think about my thoughts, the universe, love, and so much more. Thank you. Thank you for this.

  • @deannalynnkennedy754
    @deannalynnkennedy754 Před 7 lety

    Wow! This really resonates with me. So well put. What a gift God has
    given you to be able to articulate so well. I especially appreciate how you found your home inside you. Thank you for revealing such intimate details of your childhood and birdseye view into those dark terrifying places. This is your truth. Keep speaking your truth. Your past doesn't define you. You are love. Xoxo

  • @wnterbird2976
    @wnterbird2976 Před 7 lety

    you are one of the very few people I feel truly connected to. it's in the way you speak and the energy you give off. it makes me feel beautiful. because I see so much beauty in you. and I feel so connected so, I guess I see me as the same. you read just as I hear when I read to myself. and the words you wrote could be my own. I'm sorry about your past. but I'm so excited for your present and your future. keep being amazing!

  • @rachellorraine7771
    @rachellorraine7771 Před 7 lety

    you truly are an unreal person. you inspire me endlessly i am surrounded by very close minded people and you show me genuine ness. you show me compassion, and love i can't believe we are on the same planet

  • @BeeSemaj
    @BeeSemaj Před 7 lety +1

    I found you're channel two weeks ago and in that time you're videos have helped me soooo much. I try to avoid anything with a trigger warning but I'm really glad I watched this. You're so inspiring. Thank you for being you xo

  • @BroganPaigee
    @BroganPaigee Před 7 lety

    You are such a beautiful soul. You stated that you want to share your struggles in attempt to comfort and help others, and if this counts for anything, you have helped me. A lot. Just by me being fortunate enough to listen to your wonderful journal entrees, i have been inspired to write my own. I am a great advice giver and a listening ear, however, when it comes to looking out for myself, it is like i out it on a back burner and i only notice my pain when it all explodes. So thank you. I am very much looking forward to your ebook too :)

  • @KimmuPanda
    @KimmuPanda Před 7 lety +1

    You've really inspired me to get more in touch with my spiritual self again!!
    I used to be, and I used to be the one with positive energy, being there for my friends and helping them. I would write in my journal often and write down my ideas and deep thoughts. And I sort of fell out of it and found myself in a rut. Like, stuck and just not progressing, not being helpful to people like I want to be, and not loving enough.
    This helped me realize what's missing. thank you and ily

  • @anacastro5670
    @anacastro5670 Před 7 lety +6

    Dear Universe,
    I want it to rain flowers,
    So in my darkest hours,
    I'll always have a little land to harvest,

  • @kanwalmemon8389
    @kanwalmemon8389 Před 7 lety +1

    This brought me to tears and this energy absorbed to me. Thank you for being you. Thank you so much... I'm so glad I found this beautiful channel.

  • @shanizeforte9361
    @shanizeforte9361 Před 4 lety +1

    Oh my gosh, poor girl! We love you so much and we're all sending you more power and strength to continue to break walls and get better ❤️

  • @JannieLy30
    @JannieLy30 Před 7 lety

    You are such a beutiful human being in all aspects! I just want to be surrounded with people like you, that appreciates life in a manner so simple and genuine, that share happiness and love and instead of judge, try to understand the other.

  • @TOFUtokkii
    @TOFUtokkii Před 7 lety +1

    ❤🌸girl, I'm so proud of you holy shit. It's so hard to talk about the things we have faced. even I can't bring up things that have happened to me but hearing you is very encouraging and makes me feel safer to come forward with things that hurt, because i won't be facing it all by myself. thank you, hitomi. 🌸❤

  • @milenaleto9580
    @milenaleto9580 Před 7 lety

    Omg you're so young and you already know so much about life and have experienced so much and seem to be so in peace with the world and yourself. You've already figured out so much. I'm 17 and don't know anything. I don't know where my sadness comes from, I don't know what I want to do in life, I feel like I'm not good at anything. The world is such a big and scary place full of possibilities and I'm just so confused and weak.

  • @donut_face2338
    @donut_face2338 Před 7 lety +1

    I'm gonna listen to this whenever the world gets me down, it's so uplifting

  • @julz4196
    @julz4196 Před 4 lety

    i wanna fight everyone who dislikes your videos. your mind and heart and soul shine through so beautifully and im so grateful for what you share with us i feel so much less alone and so deeply inspired, youre such an amazing and strong being, been watching since 2017 and still come back to rewatch, thank you so so much hitomi sending u all the love and light🙏❤️

  • @valeriasamantha7599
    @valeriasamantha7599 Před 7 lety

    Why would anyone dislike this. This woman is so brave and beautiful in any way.

  • @butterflymagicwithhottea9291

    Half-way through this video and must say you are such a brave gal to share all of this. Good job! You are real and strong. I will look through your channel.

  • @LaurenSummer
    @LaurenSummer Před 7 lety

    I came across your videos yesterday. I am so inspired and happy while watching you. I feel like you are someone similar to who i picture myself to be one day. You are SO pretty and wildly intuitive. I admire your honesty. Much Love.

  • @kjtamf
    @kjtamf Před 6 lety

    Thanks for video xx
    Wrote down today’s stuff ...... & acknowledged it , ..........
    one things for sure ....... im not sharing my story any further,
    What I will do from now on is just share & discuss the healing process that’s actually very difficult to go through .
    I just wish my dad taught me to not just avoid sexual predators as a child. But to recognise that the very people we should have been able trust , can also be the predators that ruin your dreams & trust .
    My dad actually teaching me to trust the very people that you can’t is the most damaging thing ever.

  • @madaywolf6228
    @madaywolf6228 Před 7 lety +1

    your poems have touched my heart, i was watching this during class and i started crying.. i also have been physically bullied at school, you write beautifully.. such a beautiful human spreading strength and love

    • @madaywolf6228
      @madaywolf6228 Před 7 lety

      Hitomi Mochizuki ahaha noo no worries it was a good relatable cry ❤ i will write more often thank you :) today you inspired me to start a project! (im a bit impulsive but its all worth it)

  • @peanuts7981
    @peanuts7981 Před 7 lety +1

    I love your long videos so damn much and the emotion u bring to me always make me feel better! I download your video and listen to it 💤

  • @allimckee3533
    @allimckee3533 Před 6 lety +1

    This was phenomenal. It brought tears to my eyes. I could resonate with this fully and it helped me realize some stuff about myself. Thank you for being raw and sharing this with us ❤️ peace and love!

  • @cassandrarodriguez5021

    You don't understand how much I love your videos. I'm going through some mental health challenge in my life right now and I'm honestly so scared for my life but the energy you give off in your videos makes me so happy and makes me realize I have people who love me and I have a happy life to look forward to. Thank you so much.

  • @ianthebee8158
    @ianthebee8158 Před 7 lety

    You are such a beautiful person. You have helped me so much and guided me into being a happier person. I owe so much to you.
    Thank you

  • @michiem13
    @michiem13 Před 7 lety +2

    being open abt mental health and abuse 2k17. you're doing something so necessary and courageous. the universe is hearing you

  • @armisierra1155
    @armisierra1155 Před 7 lety +6

    I JUST WANT TO GIVE YOU A BIG HUG.
    YOU DESERVE THE WORLD😭💖✨

  • @lucybridges5887
    @lucybridges5887 Před 7 lety

    I've never cried cause of a youtube video before but Hitomi what you say resonates so closely with me. It's so beautiful to know that someone who thinks/feels so similarly to me exists, for so long I've felt like I'm from a different planet and I'm too sensitive and my emotions are too vivid and untamed (both happy and sad and all shades inbetween), thanks so much for putting this out there, much love

  •  Před 7 lety

    I'm going to start uploading videos on CZcams and get my CZcams channel going , and man I just wanna say you inspire me so much. I can feel your beautiful energy when you talk about all the things your passionate about. And ik exactly what you mean when you say you wish everyone could just be tuned in, in the moment, because this world in general would be 10x more beautiful. I just love you so much, thank you.

  • @alwayslovedx3
    @alwayslovedx3 Před 7 lety

    I am a survivor of abuse too. Thank you for sharing your story. We are stronger together

  • @simpleplanfan27
    @simpleplanfan27 Před 7 lety +13

    This was incredibly beautiful. Thank you for sharing

  • @lilian9652
    @lilian9652 Před 7 lety

    Thank you Hitomi. I've always felt alone with my self hate, thinking nobody would be there for me, but it helps me a lot to watch your videos. Thank you

  • @angelikidekavala8185
    @angelikidekavala8185 Před 7 lety

    I think you are so brave for putting things that hit so close to home and things that you write and that are so yours....I am so shy about the things I write..there is not one person not even the people that I consider family have never seen them.I think that they are so personal and raw and I don't want to share them

  • @siennas3186
    @siennas3186 Před 7 lety +3

    I usually avoid anything with a Trigger warning especially at this time of the year. But I somehow knew this video was going to be worth the trigger. I was told once you have heal ..but not just yourself ...all your previous relationships and at least seven generations back in our families. I think that this is true.

  • @harryz24
    @harryz24 Před 7 lety +1

    You're so brave for letting us into your life. I know it's hard to look back but you are helping SO many people in return for that. You're an amazing writer as well :) sending love 💖

  • @caitlinhofmann5205
    @caitlinhofmann5205 Před 7 lety +1

    I love this so much. Even your journal entries are so poetic and lovely even when their topics aren't. It was like listening to spoken word poetry. I can tell you're such a genuine person. Id love to get a book of your poems!

  • @starfire8465
    @starfire8465 Před 7 lety

    Your words brought me to tears and you help me so much by exposing you emotions for people to connect with

  • @mysoulisinmysmile
    @mysoulisinmysmile Před 7 lety

    I've been having a rough time lately and watching your videos gives me so much peace. You reminded me of the good part of my younger self. When I was about 6 or so, I lived on the side of a hill basically, and life was rough... a lot of tough times... but some of my favorite memories of being with myself and the universe and my own pack following behind me (we had a lot of dogs lol) when I would roam the desert or ride my bike. I was so at peace during those moments and I needed to be due to my hectic reality. It was an escape into the true peace of the world. Dogs panting by my side as I sit on a giant rock in the sunshine, feeling the breeze. I would often run around the desert hills barefoot, and getting a thorn in my foot didn't bother me. I would save little creatures that my dogs would go after and not be afraid to. I was so brave. I was untouchable. In those moments... life was beautiful. Life was real. I get sad that I feel like I've lost touch with that side of me. Maybe that's what I'm seeking within myself. That true meaning of peace and love in my life and for my life no matter how difficult it may be. I feel so blessed to have come across your channel, Hitomi. You're a beautiful soul. Thank you so much for sharing because I was feeling so alone. Much love to you, girl

  • @reneecollins4404
    @reneecollins4404 Před 7 lety

    I fucking love you hitomi ❤ You are the happiness in my life in this very moment. Knowing that you got through everything you did gives me hope for my future❤💯😘

  • @evasinead
    @evasinead Před 7 lety

    I am a very happy person, I'm always laughing and having fun, but sometimes I just feel like I'm overplaying my sadness.
    I have experienced a lot of shitty and fucked up things and I always had a journal and I always used it. But about half a year ago I stopped because I didn't have time anymore and I'm really missing it. I think I will start again.
    I can feel u so much and I just want you to know that I love your channel, vids. Much Love xxx

  • @valsssvintage7328
    @valsssvintage7328 Před 6 lety

    Your the reason and my inspiration for writing poems...my dream is to become a poet and when I do I'm gonna remember u and say she's the reason why i am who I am I LOVE YOU HITOMI!!!

  • @Abisola18
    @Abisola18 Před 7 lety +1

    This was beautiful and something I really needed to hear right now. Your ability to heal is so incredibly motivating. I'm sorry your school experience was like that, no one deserves that and I just want to give you a massive hug!
    I recently began my healing journey, for the longest time I was content with being sad all the time and I gave into depression without any fight whatsoever. I had always wanted to be a clinical psychologist because helping others had always been something that could make me happy and if anyone ever asked me what I want to do with my life it was always 'make people happier' but because of that I refused to get any sort of treatment or therapy because I was scared it would let me down when applying for the course. I mean how can a girl with depression treat someone with depression? and so I did nothing. Then one day a clinical psychologist came into our university to talk about his experiences and I wasn't even going to attend because I was in such a mood but my friend forced me out. During his presentation somebody asked 'what if you have a mental illness? Will that hold me back?' and he literally laughed and he said of course not, there is nobody in the world who can understand mental illness more than somebody who has/had a mental illness. And he told us he had OCD and suffers from depression but he's one of the best psychologists around. I had to leave because I was so overwhelmed and I cried for the first time in a long time and I called the gp then and there and I asked for help. I get therapy now and I'm so much more happy, I cry so much more which is a good thing, but the best thing is I see beauty. I used to be the biggest pessimist and see the bad in everything and since therapy I see so much beauty! I cried whilst looking at an orange the other day haha but it was so much more than that, I saw all the little segments within a segment and I just thought wow, how amazing that this is a natural creation
    It's definitely difficult to change from the person I had been for about 6 years of just sadness and resent and even now sometimes my initial thought is pessimistic, but rather than voice it, i take time to think about what is good about the situation and voice that instead. For example, it was snowing the other day and my first thought was ffs when this turns to ice it's gonna be a bloody nightmare but then I thought it's not ice right now is it Abi? It's snow and look at how it's illuminating the sky, it's beautiful! Im hopeful that one day those will be my initial thoughts always.
    Stay awesome xx

  • @hibiscus02
    @hibiscus02 Před 7 lety +27

    That trigger warning triggered me..

  • @Sayje
    @Sayje Před 7 lety +1

    This is one of the only times i have ever cried watching a youtube video. Thank you for sharing

  • @alexiscook6187
    @alexiscook6187 Před 7 lety

    Your honesty is truly beautiful. It makes your beauty shine from within. Love you and all of the goodness you bring into this world. You are a gift

  • @isabelgraf1835
    @isabelgraf1835 Před 7 lety

    what a beautiful person, yes, very much on the outside, but on the inside. your journal needs to be a book.

  • @aliyafoote8371
    @aliyafoote8371 Před 7 lety +1

    okay i just discovered this I love love love this it helped me so much thank you

  • @hancake420
    @hancake420 Před 7 lety +1

    Growing up, I was so scared of being judged. For me, that thought of anyone saying something negative about me was absolutely terrifying. I wanted to be the popular and pretty girl, the one that is loved by all. I starved my self, hid my body in baggy clothes(which I still do)and wanted to die. I was stuck in this small, dark and foreign place where voices told me what was right for me to do. I listened to those voices exactly like to those who used to use me as someone who is only present for running errands or doing things for their own pleasure. I'm still scared to be honest, and will probably still be for a long time. But I hope to change that some day. A day when I have finally blossomed as the person I want to be. Hitomi, you are a wonderful human being. I admire how strong you are. I wish to become like that in the future. Have a nice day!

  • @leslie9951
    @leslie9951 Před 7 lety

    I've been feeling really down lately. I had some losses recently in my life, and I felt the deppression seeping through and the feeling of emptiness and I'd been holding back on watching this because you know the triggers. But this video is so peaceful and Idk I feel your energy and Im so calm and at peace. I just feel this overwhelming inner peace and serenity. Thank you so much!!

  • @andrecruz6181
    @andrecruz6181 Před 7 lety

    keep healing! i'm right there with ya! and you're right growing up is extremely difficult but through the pain and suffering love truly conquers and we rise up stronger. so much realness and truth and you were so genuine in this video it has truly helped me!! please keep it up for me :))

  • @lizzy7893
    @lizzy7893 Před 6 lety

    Im in a particularly sad place right now, and finding this video helped me. Thank you so much.

  • @daisykelly6590
    @daisykelly6590 Před 7 lety

    honestly, i didnt want to watch this but theres just something about you Hitomi, your voice, your emotions and before i knew it you were done reading your journal..not only that but you made me tear up. thank you for sharing this powerful story of your life.

  • @NicoletteB
    @NicoletteB Před 7 lety

    Thank you so much for making this video. You are such a role model to me because we think similar and have had some of the same kind of events that have occurred in our lives. I was a really innocent girl throughout middle school but as soon as high school came I became obsessed with partying, sneaking out, smoking etc. I loved the feeling of being social and all that that I went a little off track and had no one to steer me in the right direction. I ended up losing my innocence way too fast, too fast in the way that I completed what most people do after their 4 years of high school, during my freshman year. I am now a sophomore and can say I have learned from my mistakes and your videos let me know that someone like you had gone down a similar path. I am still healing from my past of last year because so many traumatizing things like sexual assault had happened to me. I am so glad you opened up in all your videos, they keep me emotional and tearing up in a good way. You're truly a powerful person, thank you so so much Hitomi

  • @peanuts7981
    @peanuts7981 Před 6 lety

    i love u hitomi

  • @ulakalicinska3223
    @ulakalicinska3223 Před 7 lety +1

    Thank you Hitomi ,I love listening to your voice and watching your inspiring ,true and beautiful videos ,thank you so much for being real and sharing so much of your life and advice ☺️❤️

  • @tymber579
    @tymber579 Před 7 lety

    I started watching you for your vegan meals and vlogs and subbed immediately. now I'm absolutely in love with you Hitomi. you bring me so much peace and understanding and I'm so happy to have found your channel. sending good thoughts and vibes

  • @alohasunshine
    @alohasunshine Před 7 lety

    this was so powerful! i learn so much from you, i think i am in that stage right now where stuff from my youth comes up again and tbh i have been pretending like i am fine but i realise i shouldn't be doing that and that i should learn to be vulnerable. you are a beautiful smart person

  • @sarbearrawricornc5846
    @sarbearrawricornc5846 Před 7 lety

    You are so so strong. You inspire me so much. I aspire to be as strong as you one day 💖💖

  • @karlyxoxo2
    @karlyxoxo2 Před 7 lety +1

    thank you so much for sharing such a sacred space of your life, this brought me to my inner child. I absolutely love your words, can't wait for your ebook ❤

  • @Coffinchula
    @Coffinchula Před 5 lety +1

    You’re such a beautiful writer. I really felt everything and your writing is just hella powerful

  • @rosiewalker6442
    @rosiewalker6442 Před 7 lety +1

    This video was so powerful and I feel stupid writing this I never comment on videos but it was just so amazing I cried at one point and I felt I could relate and I just wanted to give that recognition...

  • @katemcwhirter2683
    @katemcwhirter2683 Před 7 lety

    Literally the most beautiful person in every aspect. Such a real girl, much appreciation.

  • @hannahfaith9514
    @hannahfaith9514 Před 7 lety

    This video is so deep and I can relate since I've had a very rough childhood but Ive been trying to not let that effect my life now. I love you so much hitomi you're so strong and beautiful. Keep shining your light ❤