Narcissists are the manifestation of envy
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- čas přidán 13. 07. 2024
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Narcissistic abuse looks like:
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often show little to no empathy for others, making it easy for them to manipulate and exploit. Narcissists use various tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and devaluation to control and dominate their victims.
Common Tactics Used in Narcissistic Abuse:
Gaslighting: Making the victim doubt their own reality and sanity.
Love Bombing: Showering the victim with excessive attention and affection to gain control.
Devaluation: Undermining the victim’s self-worth through criticism, belittling, and emotional neglect.
Isolation: Cutting the victim off from their support systems to increase dependency on the abuser.
Triangulation: Using others to create jealousy or competition, keeping the victim feeling insecure.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
How to begin healing from narcissistic abuse:
Understand that you have been enduring narcissistic abuse. This awareness is the first step toward healing.
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Engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-worth. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who value and respect you.
Educate Yourself:
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Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to your recovery.
Set Boundaries:
Develop and maintain healthy boundaries in all your relationships.
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A genuine smile triggers a narcissist, and they have to look away. I've experienced this with complete strangers. I've also experienced the "you think you're better than everyone else".
You shouldn't do that smile at random people. You can't judge someone having a bad day as a narcissist
@tims9434 I'm talking about when having a conversation with a random person, and you give a smile. I can't control if they are having a bad day or not. Sorry for having a smile in this dark world, right?
@@tims9434 I think you might have misunderstood the comment. The comment was referenced in the context of the video which are behaviors driven by envy not someone just having a bad day. Also, Smiling is a positive universal gesture.
@@tims9434 Sometimes you are just smiling to yourself though, and even that is enough to trigger them. 'What are you so happy about?'
Growing up, whenever my mother caught me smiling, she would tell me that I looked like a Down's syndrome. As a result, I had stopped smiling by the time I reached adulthood, I just had a blank, expressionless face, which made people think I was autistic etc. I had to practice facial expressions in front of the mirror, I got some of my inspiration from Marcel Marceau (a French mime artist) and from my knowledge of ballets and stuff (you often have passages where dancers mime, for example, at the beginning of Prokofieff's ballet Cinderella, there's a pretty long mime scene, where Cinderella is sewing and expressing various emotions).
@@tims9434ppl can't smile now? Lols
They can be envious of so so many things, especially if you’re an independent, energetic person and they know they can’t shake you.
They don't want to share you with ANYONE, no group holidays, no 4th of July with friends. They keep you alone, to attack, rage, or give you the silent treatment
I dont think my dad could handle for instance, that i once won a prize from the newspaper for entering a
" finish the picture" contest when I was little. I hope it wasn't a weird thing like envy.
But as an adult, and not so long ago- he cancelled an invitation he had made to me and a friend, to go to a music fest in a nearby town. He said he didn't want to because he would want to be on stage, performing- and
thus, wanted to cancel because he didn't want to because of that. Atleast he said it. But I don't know why he invited me to do that in the first place.
I go to live music events, and I'm a fan of live music- it's just This: first
rule about dealing w/ disordered type individuals, is don't speak of what you really like or are really interested in. Do not inform them of where you go, etc. They do not have ANY need to "know"- and it is
important that they are Not informed- whenever possible.
Omg I totally agree with this comment ❤
I can resonate. The narc mom and narc sister and narc relatives are so envious of me being an Empath, he quality they didn't have. Something funny was they accused me of being envious of them. 😂
Yes, they are. Envious, hate-filled, and the scum of the earth. We'd be better off without them.
Yeah i just want to travel the globe without visa
👍
This is SO TRUE!! You can own nothing and be at peace and it flips their switch!!!! They can’t stand that you are at peace and truly happy! It becomes a challenge to destroy you! Once I figured it out with my ex husband (husband at the time) I would laugh at the stupid gaslighting and bs he was trying on me! I figured it out and that pissed him off even more!!!! It bothers them when they can’t bother you! It’s your super power to get a life and forget these very sick people!!!
A narcissist may secretly wish they could possess my qualities or aspects of my life….. BUT… the one thing they will never possess… is me!
Exactly 🎉
Envy is someone who does NOT have your back 👐
Spot On !!!
Envy is the opposite of someone who DOES have your back.
Thanks for the edit 👐
There are A LOT OF THEM TOO!!!!
❤Narcissists are the Manifestation of Envy! ❤ Powerful!♥
They suck
My very envious mother yelled at me recently, “You’re always so happy! 👿” She’s going from malignant covert narc, to overt, in her old age and the mask slips now frequently…. Great transmission! This is so on point! Love your work! And thank you 😌🙏🧘♀️✨✨✨✨✨
Yes, they hate to see you HAPPY!🙂
I can resonate. I was so happy. I laughed so often. I was brainy too. She was stupid, could not read and write. I can in several languages.
I'm making chicken soup quietly listening to this, and I'm blown away. Slicing carrots, celery, onion & my mind is switching from scene to scene in childhood to adult etc. I could recognize something is wrong, but what did I do. Envy is something I never thought of, though a neighbor woman once held me when I was 10 saying I feel so sorry for you, your mother is so jealous of you. FINALLY a name, not me, but her. And it was pure hatred at times. So much I could write a book. But instead I will continue to listen and learn. Brothers did too. One grabbed me by the throat and seethed, I've hated u for years. What? I snapped, shoved his arm off and warned him of an ass kicking if he ever laid a hand on me again. I was oldest. He was middle. I moved to AZ at 28. Best thing ever was to put several states between me and a nutty family. I did good ( self pat on my back.) Thx u for this enlightening talk. I'm 66 now & many things finally falling into place.
My mind was switching from scene to scene as well. I detached and went "No Contact" from both sides of my bloodline. Once I recognize this type of spirit in a person I immediately take notice, detach and distance myself from them.
Demonic poison lol pitty the fools
Wow... I can relate. I'm in my 50's and being healed each day. I moved six years ago to AZ, So I could start my own life. God led me to my new life. Keep Healing ❤
💗💗💗💗
My sister and I always got along well until I married a man who had a good job and didn't rely on me to pay all the bills. He bought a nice house for us to live in and bought me a car for Christmas. Suddenly I was doing as well as she always had been and she started tearing me apart about my past and anything else she could dig up. She also told me when she found out I was marrying my boyfriend that she was the only one in the family with a good-looking husband! I had her live with my when my abusive mother tried to put my sister's eyes out and let her and her bpyfriend stay with me when she wanted to move to the state I moved to. I really didn't mind helping her out. I am now no contact with her.
Similar. Be well, Friend.
😢
Yes, Yes, I have seen this many times. The narcissistic people in the family often hated it when I would laugh. It was as though they hated my happiness and wanted to do something to make me look silly for being happy. Sometimes they would even say something to make me look foolish for enjoying something.
I think they envy confidence and peace the most because it threatens their control. Having walked away from them, my confidence is back. I wonder how they handle this but I don't really care.
All it takes to trigger them is to enter the room. You have analysed it so well Kevin. God bless you❤
Or just point out their double standards ... When i just simply asked my narc father to clean after him (as they constantly leaves dishes in sink and at the same time arguing with me i doing this) he went into rage his eyes turned black like he was pozessed and warned me to look for an apartament until end of a year -.-, after that he talk with mother like nothing happened -.-. Fuck them, i am earning enough to live on my own.
Man the times I gave 200 percent at work and they still find the one thing I did wrong to complain about.
The parallel parenting is a nightmare. And watch out for the children getting diagnosed for anxiety, depression, or even schizophrenia. Also BOLO for autoimmune issues. These children pay the price for having narc moms and dads.
That's me, at 52 I have auto immune disease, am depressed, have anxiety, avoid people.
What’s BOLO?
@@michelleolak7898 be on the lookout for
@@moscowcowboy_13 I collect auto immune diseases and I avoid people too, to the point where people who were into psychobabble would diagnose me with autism, schizophrenia etc. Dr Todd Grande has an informative video on schizoid v. socially avoidant.
Have you had a look at Gabor Mate's book When The Body Says No? I have put off buying it as I am afraid a lot of it won't apply to me (and I have little money). I have found Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score) pretty infuriating (antidepressents, psibolycin, magic mushrooms, and all this talk about 'intimacy', i.e. sex). In one of his videos, Gabor says that when a small child cries out this is a cry for help and his mother or any other parental figure around should rush and pick it up and comfort him, bla bla bla. When I was a small kid, I would have been more likely to hide and stay silent when Godzilla, sorry, my mother, was around, and to start cry out (not just in fear but also in pain) if she had picked me up (and started shaking me etc.).
@@michelleolak7898be on the look out, I think.
Yep always thought that. Everything was a competition. I was like really!? Why are we competing? Because I had so many ideas.. so much fairy dust I spread everywhere!
My energy
My love for God
My love for people & animals
Hardworking
Creative
Independent
Kind
Caring
Passion
Drive
Helping others
Giving
I have all those qualities mentioned 🎉🎉🎉
Watch Those Jealous and envious DEMON from Hell .They always Watching and ear Hustling 😊💜
They are envious of everything and they whine over any and everything. People get tired of listening to whining everyday
You are so right- they whine no matter which way it goes as they pursue their having to have sensations of being in power over and in control of others
I would add energy vampires 🧛♀️. They want to steal your energy and light.
This hits close to home .
My mom is 93. My siblings were jealous of me showing up for her and having a relationship. They had to destroy our connection.
I remember at my Grandmother's 80th Bday celebration we were all gathering to take a family photo. When taking the photo I was smiling like one would when taking a photo and my cousin yells, "What you smiling so hard for?".
I was shocked because we're taking a photo why wouldn't I smile. According to her I was smiling too hard and now that I have understanding, she was envious of the fact that I could smile so hard.
My smile, my joyous spirit and my ability to keep going is what many hate me for. Now when I encounter someone who is envious of my laugh and smile, I laugh and smile harder.
Joy burns a whole in their empty souls 😂
You hit the nail on the head. I could never understand how my beloved beautiful tall dark and perfect sister could envy me so much...who had NOTHING but heart and average looks.
Yep, same problem. Older sister, envious of everything I stood for, but I didn't ever think I was anything special. Of course, Dad sexually abused her, but not me. It's because Mom became aware of his activity, but rather than divorce him (this was back in the early '60s, where a Catholic woman was highly frowned upon if she was divorced), and went out of her way to protect me from him, even sending me away during the summer months to her own parents' farm half way across the country to keep me out of his reach. It was too late for her, and maybe that's what she resented. I don't know. We don't talk to each other anymore.
Same with siblings and my mum
0
Im single mother and my old sister married with growing kids always envy of me. I never understand why she is so evil
This video explains something I never understood. 40 years ago I lived with a bloke who insisted women are privileged. When I asked him why he believed this, his reply was - well, women are happy. He verbally attacked me when I sniffed a rose and said how lovely it was. And when I gazed at the night sky to say how beautiful. Etc. And, oh yes, the lies he ran to his parents with, about me! I always felt he wished me psychologically dead, yet he didn't want me to leave! Total insanity. I left after 7 years. This video really helps me understand the situation so many years ago but which still impacts my life.
Yes! It blows our minds, doesn't it?? CRAZY!!
BPD/NPD. Evil.
Kevin - it starts from the moment I walk into the room - my energy, smile, confidence, demeanor. Their reaction to this - tells me all I need to know !
I can resonate deeply!! Being me is enough to be the target for envy already.
this is so needed right now, thanks. I remember when I was 21, I had a roommates' friend say to me "Your hair is way too shiny". It was so strange out of nowhere.
Ha ha!! It's something like that that makes you wonder for years!!
it was 30 years ago@@victoriousjoy9338 - My family always insulted me and never complimented me. I thought I was hideous and couldn't figure out if this was a compliment or insult. I still remember like it was yesterday it was so strange. It's their pattern.
that's so weird they'd be all freakin' out about another's. " shiny hair "
I think you missed the point of the story@@sv-yh3mq
Yeah, I remember when I was 21, and I wore this dress that showed off my figure but I was self conscious about it. I got a lot of looks but didn’t understand why. My mom told me I looked fat, but when her friends were around and they complimented me, she agreed with them.😂
Their envy will try to kill you.
The narc big sister tried to kill me twice. Maybe more but I don't know about. So true.
True, I noticed that envy in my sibling most of my life and I couldn't put a label on it until now. It always felt strange to me that my sister would get fired up with that envy energy around me. Everything is adding up to the truth. Thank you!
They hate your shine and everything about you. I actually had a toxic family member say to me "I can't stand the way you walk into a room"; no matter how kind you are these ugly, mean spirited people never change. I stay far away from them!
They attacked the way I walked for real. Others gave me compliment. The way I walk, talk etc can trigger them. They r envious of me being me😅
I didn't know what anyone would be envious of in my life, so it was hard to link my mistrestment to their contempt. Eventually, I realized understanding was completely irrelevant. After that, I was able to really begin my healing.
Yes! It’s so freeing when you can stop trying to figure out their motivations and just accept that’s the way they are, and their behavior becomes so much more easily predictable and way less triggering. I think they call it radical acceptance.
This is a masterclass on the insidious nature of narcissists and their pathological envy. Stay strong everyone!
To go with the pathological lies.
My earliest memories of my narc stepdad was him constantly saying "must be nice", "geez must be rough" whenever he saw someone with something nicer than him, which was all the time. He was always trying to position himself as a victim of the entire world and everyone around him, but it always focused on me when I was around.
When my brother tried to trigger me it's actually hilarious to me now but if I don't cry he'll attack me. So exhausting... so I don't talk to him any more.
So true. This is why Cain killed Abel. Genesis 4:7 / Also, James 3:16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.
Yes, my mother raged, cussed me out and yelled uncontrollably after we left a restaurant when a waitress complimented me on my perfume. Had a nice conversation with the waitress. My mother drove and when she was taking me home, it was a psychotic sadistic rage. I did nothing. It was her envy and jealousy. Just like my relationship with my adult boys. She attempted to undermine me, she disrespected me with her telling my son to lie to me. Sorry, my boys were not raised that way and it's a shame that a mother would do that to her daughter. She knew exactly what she was doing. Let's just say the games she played and her jealous abuse is why I have stayed away. And to abuse my grandson when he was 1 1/2 years old. Just plain evil!!!!
I read something once on Quora where someone said when she got engaged and showed her mom her ring, her mom had to go out and buy herself an even bigger diamond ring. Unbelievable!
@@myutube5882 monetary and physical belongings don't bring me happiness. But it brings my mother happiness.
@ks😢so sorry luv♥️🙏
Yes!! Evil!
I have no idea why people would be envious of me. It’s really inconvenient because people tend to hate me for no reason and it usually has something to do with envy but of God knows what. 😂Maybe it’s because I have the audacity to just be me and I really don’t care what people think. When people realize that I am not going to be susceptible to their manipulation and they can’t control me, they get angry and just hate me. I wish people got envious of my salvation, and that I could tell them how to get saved and they would.
Girls in the family of origin can't stand me. As I'm so sexy and charming. I haven't done anything. I'm just being me.
AMEN!
Ive been lashed by the delusional. It's been heartbreaking. They hurt me to make themselves feel better. They got away with it, They feel great about what they did to me ,,and sadly I will not be their last victim.
I love your videos, you're always right on the money! I was raised by a covert narcissistic mother who has hated and competed with me my whole life. I had to cut ties with my entire family to stay safe because the family mobbing was so bad. My mother, brother, sister, and sister in law have all ganged up on me, slandered my name, and pushed me out of the family, because I'm the truth teller and they have a lot of dirty secrets, and because I have qualities they don't and will never have, and to use me as their "bonding agent." None of them like each other so they focus on me, the family dumpster.
It's so warped. You could be dying and they'd still be jealous of your qualities. No wonder people respond to them in r age
True makes sense when i would be around a certain family member they would do anything to get me to stop smiling . It felt like me being happy was a personal attack against the narc.
They don’t like seeing those qualities bc it’s a reminder to them that in that moment you’re not under their control, not cowering in fear of them, and that you’re a completely separate person from them.
Wow yes.
One of my amazing qualities is that I can feel truly joyful just for being alive! I have my dark days, but they’re nothing like the 7-year dark night of the soul filled with pain and panic attacks. I’m 36 and I don’t have a LOT of things figured out - but I’m so grateful just being alive. After that long darkness and so much healing work, most of my days, I feel happy with very little. And I’m not hiding that shine anymore! 🌞 Get mad about it, narcs😄
Wow. Thank you, Kevin. This hits home for me in regards to my husband. I thought for years that I was going crazy. You hit on everything he has done and how he's dealt with me. Your words make complete sense and are helping me put my sanity back together. 25 years of this. God help me. The Bible says do not be unequivocally yoked. We take that as a before marriage thing...it can hit after too. I now know even after all this time, we are not equally yoked. I've tried in so many ways but things will not change. He is who he is. I have to let go now.
I have to let go off my husband too, God doesn’t want anyone to be abused, especially in the marriage. May God give you strength ❤
Same here. I've let go and l'm now gone homeless. There's no way l'm putting up with all of it one more day.
He can envy that now..😊❤
@@privacy9175 That's a challenge for sure. Know that through hardship a relationship with God grows stronger. Your getting ready for next phase of your life. Be faithful 🕯️ and deeply respect and love yourself. Be at peace knowing God is holding your hand and take 1 step, 2 steps etc. Soon you will be walking out of this level of your life and shifting into the next level. Have positive thoughts so you can manifest with God's help a beautiful new future for you. Just you. 💕
@@privacy9175i declare blessings and abundance over your life in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ🔥
@@olomoucbrightonwalking with you sister❤
I was married for 30yrs. to a narcissist, with a narcissistic mother-in-law😱but l thought my sister-in-law was just pathologically envious of me 🙄 now l understand she ALSO was a narcissist!! My mother was a “histrionic personality “ type🙄🙄🙄Luckily l was VERY RESILIENT because l’ve always been very positive and happy and loving!! How many times l’ve heard “what are you so happy about”??😂The only reason l lasted so long was because of my kids, wanted to get the last one of three into college first👍 But when l finally left, l literally FLOATED with joy, and at 53 found the Love of my life❤️❤️
Your story gave me so much joy. It’s nice to hear about justice and joy prevailing! 🥳🎉
Glory to GOD I am happy for you ❤❤❤❤🎉enjoy life🎉
Good stuff !!!
My narcs are jealous of kids and dogs sometimes.
Yup. Jealous of cats too
They jealous over everything. They even get mad at the dog then say I'm not gonna give you anymore love. Who does that. Lol. He was mad at me then said that to the dog. My dog wanted to trust him. He finally did about a week before he moved out. My dog is even back to normal he had changed cause of my narc. It's rather sad.
This probably explains why my ex went out of his way to make me cry on every birthday and Xmas for 18years. He couldn't bear the thought of me be happy among other people. I recall an omen I should have seen as a red flag.
In the first few months of being together he told me (after a few to many wines) that earlier he had looked across the room and seen me laughing with my friends. He admitted he felt jealous that other people were making me laugh.
I thought this was really odd which is why I remember. The memory now makes me shudder.
I was just thinking this exact conclusion this morning.. they now give it all these titles. Narcissist etc.. but from being a child to middle age when I look back .. behind the mask with each person has been their Dark, Evil, Murderous.. ENVY 😈
Nail on the head. Envious and hateful. I was just thinking this tonight--- what is it about them? Envy & hate. That's what I came to.
Yes, envious, yet too lazy and unwilling to work on themselves.
My ex husband had what he called a bad childhood: divorced parents, poor, etc. I had a good childhood, can’t complain. He would always say that I never suffered my entire life. I realize now that he was envious.
Same here! I will NEVER know what it's like to walk in his shoes because he has "suffered" so much ....🙄
You've confirmed my ex being envious of me. Always spreading rumours and lies. There's loads of these people who used to be in my life. They're envious of my friendliness where I'll talk to anyone. I'm good at finding good people these days and eliminating the bad ones from my life. I'm still discovering my qualities, but i know I'm a good person who isn't envious of others.
Wow. I didn’t think to look for this one key thing - ENVY - to determine narcissism.
I had a financially well off boss who always tried to control and tear me down. She always spoke about me being " so pretty", got cold when complimented by clients, and started to turn on me when I started going to church.
I always thought envy was about personal belongings, until I started dealing with her wrath. It was about my qualities, not my possessions.
I think the envy comes from a deep insecurity and inner discontentment. They're living through a false self, after all. I wonder why they give fake compliments though.
They give fake compliments because they want something, as easy as that
Totally agree with you! I would be environmentally of people too if I was that way.
You are correct; people are envious of one's very own essence, the true authentic nature we choose to develop and nurture. keep shining 💡💕
NARCISSIST'S live for a kingdom that is divided against itself within . And a kingdom that is divided against itself within " cannot stand " and will find itself falling into ruins as it crumbles from within .
So true
My ex gf always tried to hide her jealousy. She didn't say much, but I caught her staring daggers into me esp. when I showed confidence, contentment, or knowledge in something she knew nothing about. We each worked as cooks for 20yrs. before meeting each other, and we took turns cooking dinner. I could feel her rage when she tasted my food(which wasn't impressive at all, TBH.) I honestly enjoyed her cooking, and was honest in my appreciation for her effort, but my positive reaction wasn't good enough for her. We went on nature walks together, but she rarely ever slowed down to enjoy the scenery. She was always race walking, trying to stay ahead of me. which I always found odd. Whenever I spoke about my loved ones, I could feel the envy radiating off of her. Just being myself and growing as a person became so exhausting to her. And all I was trying to do was make her life better in the ways I knew how. She's a lung cancer patient with 1, maybe 2yrs left to live. tops. So at the time I made it my priority to increase the quality of her life without spending a fortune on her: Spending time with her, Helping her around the house, sharing with her, but she was never satisfied, and always had something to criticize me over. Even when she became nasty and showed her true colors, I chalked it up to her feelings over her terminal illness. But Thanks to my support network whom I shared everything with, they pointed out to me that She was manipulating me. So when I started learning about cluster B personality disorders, It all began to make sense. I knew I was more complete as a person than she could ever hope for, and I refused to sacrifice any part of myself to feed a vampire like her! So, I ghosted her not long after starting my research into the topic. I I found chamnels such as The Royal We, Surviving Narcissism, Dr. Ramani, Batel Skater, amongst many others. Thank You Kevin, for all Your help! I've been free since Nov. '22, And I've been so much better with the help of all Your content!
Wow!! You are a treasure!! How blest she was to have you!! But, I know, even if you were God Himself, that would not be sufficient to please them!!
@@victoriousjoy9338 So true! Narcs are never satisfied! Ironically She claimed to be a believer, but after witnessing some troubling things from her, I confronted her with scripture. Esp. the passages that warn us that even our thoughts & motivations cannot be hidden from Him(And this applies to me too, and rightfully so b/c I too am a fallen sinner as well). When she heard that, she locked herself in the bathroom, and refused to talk to me for HRS!!! The sad part is I know now she was more concerned with being exposed than being repentent for her lawless attitude towards God. She LOVED her sin, and I saw that everyday I was around her!
Your on the road of getting your life back...
@@raymondtorres3166 Indeed! I've been so much better since leaving her! Anytime I start to miss her companionship, I remind myself that she was putting on an act, and that the person I had feelings for was a fake.
The Grey
You bask in light
It burns so brightly
You caught the eye
Of Envy's gloom
Whose glow is dim
A mere reflection
A vapid void
A vacuous room
She is the Grey
And shapeless form
Whose choice could build
From ashes dark
But rather than
She light her flame
Is bent to douse
Your magic spark
~Marti Liem
Wow! Great description!!
Another excellent video,and spot on sir!Narcs want to steal your peace,knowing they are not capable of peace within there own soul.They can be envious of your drive,your discipline as they are quite often compulsive temporary pleasure seekers.I love how you pointed out also in a previous video how narcs will team up against you but ultimately they hate each other in the end.Bravo for sharing and verbalizing your astute observations concerning these sick embroiled souls.
My dad looks at me with disgust when I visit. As well as my brother& ex MIL ex FIL. I’m a loving forgiving friendly open minded person who is a people pleaser.
There's people who hate "people-pleasers" to the extent they target those types to unwholesomely toy with them.
I am empathetic, kind, strong, intelligent, driven.
Me too
My elderly covert narc mom was so envious that I had dogs and not kids. One day I was hugging my dog and she said "that's a dog you know, not a kid".
That’s the most embarrassing thing I’ve seen my mom display about others.
Mine too
Both my mother and father wanted to sing ...it was their childhood dream. Because of them I loved music. When I came home with the first recordings of songs I'd written, they'd walk out of the room when I played my recordings. My family have a deep hatred for me. They've done to much to begin talking about it. Broken souls. I'm now alone in the world.
Will you be writing then recording new material concerning these experiences and over-coming them ? I hope you encounter those who can take a listen to your compositions, and you to theirs.That you have significant others to share with who aren't an enemy. Probably playing them (your music) for your parents was "throwing your pearls to swine" so to speak- they'll just have to stumble upon a fan's favourable review of your (current, & future) creative musical works, output, and accomplishments, or that perhaps your tour-date sales crashed ticketMaster/Live Nation when your tour went on-sale... . You won't have to do a thing to prove anything about you to them. Perhaps you're able to have some base respect, albeit from afar perhaps, that they're your parents, if the break between you has been completely severed. Cuz it's hard when one is alone, feels alone from parental rejection. Npd traits can carry "fleas" , where npd begets npd- pls not the dark side!
God bless and prosper you.
If the broken family member sees that you have gifts that they want, but don’t have , they will spend their whole lives trying to discourage you from what they are trying to pursue or encourage you to do something else or try to ruin your confidence. Please ignore them Repeat, ignore them because you’re the true power
You are on the mark about narcissists being envious. My N would tell me I cackle like a hillbilly whenever I was having g fun with my siblings. If someone complimented me on my fitness, my N would get upset. He couldn’t stand for me to be complimented! When the complimenter replied, “ You should be proud of her”, my N replied, “It annoys the hell out of me”. When I said I got up at 5;00 AM to teach an exercise class, my N called me a liar. Ns don’t see you as a companion, they see you as competition. He insulted the things I valued most, like telling me I am a bad mother and housekeeper. They want to squash you. Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle!
I heard that so often, "I'm just defending myself from your attack!" when I was doing nothing whatsoever to them. As they "defended" with their pre-emptive attacks, I had to either defend myself or get away, usually when I needed to rest, eat, sleep, or some other form of self-care.
The man is even jealous of my hair, my car, my looks, everything
Intelligence, soulfulness, warmth, care, creativity, empathy, compassion, confidence, integrity, beauty, smile, hair, eyes, love, vibrancy, ability to heal and connect.
And more!
Ooooh its been a hard getting close to a decade now, learning to accept, NOT easy, but with God all things are possible! Again thanks for another great coaching video❤🙏 you're always a blessing! Encouraging as well....
You can always tell this in the way that they talk down about people who are a lot better than them.. you want to deny it at first until it comes for you
Hi Kevin , after experiencing many “ Envious Narcissists in my life,, I prefer to live quietly, cautiously of who I share with,,
It’s true and you’ve confirmed what I’ve lived through and can remember, the red flags of envy! It’s like they try to be you and push you out of the way! I’m finally gone from there and wonder who they’re trying to be now? Creatures of envy must have a target of envy.
My npd sister has emotionally/psychologically abused me for decades all due to pathological envy….wish I knew this 40 yrs ago….ty Kevin👑💚
Going back to School as an Older Adult, I have detected Narcissist Professors. I ended up dropping their classes.
3:12
1. funny
2. smart
3. loyal
Thank you for sharing this video. It is spot on! Envy can drive the most cruel and irrational behaviors. James 4:1-7 gives a good example of what is going on here. When you are the target of envy, their negative behavior towards you will more than likely not stop because it is driven by war taking place in their own hearts. That is why sometimes they will seemingly attack you at random. It is unprovoked and erratic. It all depends on the level of turmoil in them at that moment, which changes time to time. It is nothing you have done. You may notice their reasons for having a problem with you constantly changes from one thing to the next. They are looking for reasons. I think sometimes they don't even understand why they behave the way they do. It's sad really, because there is such a lack of peace. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't protect yourself. The the best thing to do is try to create as much space as possible. Do not confide in them or share your success or struggles. I have made the mistake of trying to hide my playful personality from these individuals for so long I didn't recognize myself, but I refuse to do that anymore. God bless you all, stay encouraged.
So well spoken!!
Thankyou for your encouraging message.
@@sv-yh3mq I'm so happy that it had the intended affect to encourage you!
I'm on my journey to find my true self but I had to make no contact with my whole family and leave the city. Now, I don't know what to say when people ask me about them because I don't want to wear a mask or make up a past it never existed but sounds happy when it wasn't and the only thing I get is rejection and mistrust.
That's a problem I don't know how to figure out.
One of simplest, best clarifications of narcissism I’m heard for quite a while. Love your presentation style.
I agree.
A time or two I heard him mention some things about disordered-behaving types, and their extremely negativistic and toxic, intractable problems concerning people attending live music events. I thought he was speaking directly to me, concerning -
npd-traited type(s), overt and (even worse)> the covert, cannot stand it if another " likes " to see a band, or bands, groups, singer-songwriters, shows, festivals, etc. Will seek to steal, kill and destroy it. First Rule about your favorites, Don't Speak of them. The gratitude one gets towards God and their real friends
for their protection and support is a healing balm
I am the oldest of seven raised by a narcissistic mom (and dad). My sister next in line is also narcissistic and part of the reason I left my hometown 34 years ago. With years of recovery under my belt and the strength of the Lord to persevere with healing, I have real compassion that my sister goes through life feeling so insecure and fearful. I will never forget living with those feelings myself. My compassion used to draw me back into relationship with her. Recently, at the age of 70, I had an epiphany!! Just because I have compassion for her because I know the traumatic parenting we all came out of, doesn't mean she is a safe person to be in relationship with! I continue to pray for wisdom for me and healing for my sister. I now put my trust in the Lord's faithfulness and not in my expectation that "this time" my sister will treat me well!
Yes I moved islands to leave an ex neighbour along with many other neighbours. Gossip, envy, jealousy. lies to othrr neighbours. My health suffered over that. I even put up with her hanging around my husband. She got a guy to rip,our letterbox off after I told her to leave . A week latermthap happened. My husband hwd cheated on me years ago so he difnt say a word. Hadx2 neighbours ring me to tell mecshexwas behind the fencd talking to him behind my back. I sold up 4 years after he died. Enough was enough. Took me that longbto declutter junk from his shed. Solfd off halfbthe furniture and stuff i no longerxwanted. My lifexhas changed drsmsticslly. Lost my parents too and many friends. My old age is free of her filthy looks. 41 years of that from when I moved to that street.
I think my sister is envious of me. I like buying presents to my dearest. One day she told me that I wanted to buy people by giving them presents or lending money, specially to my nieces. That's not true at all. I do that because I love them and want to see them happy. And if somebody needs money, I try to help, because Iam veryy close to them. She gets mad when she knows that I have given something I possessed to a member of my family... I would't finish giving examples. This has happened since I was a litlle girl. She is very jelous... she can't stand other people loving me. Then she says to me that I am one of the people she loves most in the world..and that puzzles me a lot.
Thank you for the video. It has been very interesting and useful.
Please, excuse my mistakes
Creatures of envy … thank you kevs, these are creatures and I’m not talking in a mean way I actually hv a lot of compassion for the creatures now that I understand it a little bit more and hv been developed ways in which to cope however It’s equally important that I don’t expose my self to them and protect my precious energy to those who value meeeeee, thank you kevs
My covert narc is my dad’s identical twin bro’s son, my cousin. & my dad was “the good twin”. So imagine that envy…of which I had no control over. After 54 years I’ve finally detached.
Envy is not just jealousy. Envy seeks to destroy what it does not or cannot have.
When the seven deadly sins used to be commonly taught, it seems that an awareness of what envy is, and a guarding against it, helped curb the levels of narcissism.
Relationships with other family members are one main thing envied by narcs.
If "they" can't see themselves reflected back at them, from the other person's eyes and face-it's "Houston, we have a problem!" -
You are right. In Spanish we have the same distinction. Envy (envidia) and jealousy (celos) which even your pet can show if you bring another pet into your home.
This is so good and an important key to understand! I saw this in my mother when I was about 14 and could not comprehend what I saw. ❤
If your laughter is still natural it means you still own your soul.
THIS is what they envy.
Optimism, musicianship, college education, communication, integrity, and this did not sit well with my ex, never did understand why he married me. To destroy me?
Yep! These guys see something cool…and it’s not long after they want destroy it. Then they swap places…he also wants to be you…subconsciously. 😅😅😅
He needed the narc supplies.
@atlfun08 so true. He has picked up my hobbies since I left. He never was interested until I divorced him. Wierd.
When he died I felt indifferent no tears nothing at all I had no relationship with my father at all he was was a narc didn’t care about no one but himself.
When I got any complaints from people I had done work for in (my own business) he had no hand in it at all..... My x husband would say (I taught her everything she knows) which is not the case at all. That would make him so angry he would then give me the silent treatment. Which I would look forward too. At least then I would not have to hear him say anymore hurtful things. God bless us all that have had enough and are healing. Kevin you make the senceless make sense. Thank you
Thank God for you. The ones at church are horrific. I can't stand them. One is telling everyone how horrible I am. They are envious of me for the reasons that you say. You can feel it. Church is not like on the Walton's. It's nuts and mostly cluster B who get into addictions. I try and study this and write on it and I still get fooled. It's been 18 years of trying to find a church, and they are treacherous places.
Losers create losers and winners create winners.
So true!! My son is the winner just like me.
This is so true, and people don’t talk about it enough.
I could never be myself when I was with him. I walked on eggshells and lost myself.
Left him after 36 years of marriage. Now I live the joy, peace and love that I have always wanted to share freely.
I always smile...that has been and still is...me.
Thanks, Kevin❤
Wow! Your gift helps us heal. You are Awesome! Thank you. 👏🏽
This makes total sense. We were at Nascar museum. I did the simcar. He did NOT. When I got outta the car I was so proud of myself that at least I had not crashed. Got outta the car to face his cold comment. “You’re WAY down on the leader board.” I also struck up a comvo, easily with the people waiting in line. I could see him watching me. He was visibly uncomfortable. Wow. Yes. Envy. Thank you🌸
Dear Kevin,
Thank you for your guidance.
Sent with tons of love
Wow. Been studying this stuff a number of years and cut ties with family of origin couple years ago before understanding narcissism and you just triggered another breakthrough. They all envied me. And I know why suddenly. And I couldn't see it before because they convinced me they see me as worthless. Thanks for helping me unravel the ball of knots. This stuff is life and world changing.
So true. You can feel it and cut it with a knife.
This is so veey, very true. I've had my own child ask me, "why do people like you so much?" Yes, definitely the natural qualities trigger them. Yes, we're simply being. One narcissist paired with another in my life to create hell for me.
How True! My family is envious. Yes, It doesn't make sense ! You are correct. Many thanks.
I HAVE EXPERIENCED THIS FOR 52 YEARS AND YESS THEY ARE THE MANIFESTATION OF ENVY THEY ENVY EVERYTHING ABOUT OTHERS THAT ARE JUST IN THEIR LANE DOING THEIR OWN THING ,YOU CAN HAVE NOTHING ONLY A GOOD HEART AND EVEN THAT THE NARC AIMS AT THESE PEOPLE ARE SICK
You have to detach and disengage with them because they are bringers of bad luck.
Brilliant, Kevin, absolutely brilliant!!
Write a book,Kevin .