Video není dostupné.
Omlouváme se.
With a narcissist, there's only one thing you could have done differently
Vložit
- čas přidán 26. 12. 2023
- Narcissistic abuse is an undeniable crisis. Discover Healing, Empowerment, and Authentic Living...
Schedule your 1 on 1 appointment - theroyalwe.kartra.com/page/HWH7
Start The Coaching Program - theroyalwe.kartra.com/page/ynE48
Take this FREE Healing assessment -quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6633d2...
Connect With Me:
Instagram - / jointheroya. .
TikTok - / theroyalweoff. .
Facebook - / theroyalwehost
Donate to help:
Donations - paypal.me/JoinTheRoyalWe?loca...
The Royal We has helped Millions to escape the grip of narcissistic abuse. Here’s a deeper look into what narcissistic abuse looks like and steps to heal from it:
Narcissistic abuse looks like:
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often show little to no empathy for others, making it easy for them to manipulate and exploit. Narcissists use various tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and devaluation to control and dominate their victims.
Common Tactics Used in Narcissistic Abuse:
Gaslighting: Making the victim doubt their own reality and sanity.
Love Bombing: Showering the victim with excessive attention and affection to gain control.
Devaluation: Undermining the victim’s self-worth through criticism, belittling, and emotional neglect.
Isolation: Cutting the victim off from their support systems to increase dependency on the abuser.
Triangulation: Using others to create jealousy or competition, keeping the victim feeling insecure.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
How to begin healing from narcissistic abuse:
Understand that you have been enduring narcissistic abuse. This awareness is the first step toward healing.
Get Help:
Work with The Royal We to get the tools to understand and process your experiences. Visit - www.jointheroyalwe.com
Establish No Contact or Low Contact:
Limit or completely cut off communication with the narcissistic abuser. This helps you gain emotional distance and begin your healing journey.
Rebuild Your Self-Esteem:
Engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-worth. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who value and respect you.
Educate Yourself:
Learn about narcissistic abuse and its effects. Knowledge is empowering and can help you recognize patterns and avoid future toxic relationships.
Practice Self-Care:
Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to your recovery.
Set Boundaries:
Develop and maintain healthy boundaries in all your relationships.
Connect with others who have experienced narcissistic abuse. Join The Royal We Support Group - theroyalwe.kartra.com/page/ynE48
#relationships #abuse #toxicrelationships #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #healthyrelationships #narcissistic #toxicpeople #narcissisticabusesurvivor #relationshipstatus #toxicfree #narcissisticabuserecovery #abusesurvivor #relationships101 #domesticabuse #toxicrelationship #relationshipsgoals #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #toxicfreeliving #abuseawareness #toxicfamily #abuserecovery #toxicfriends #narcissisticmother #relationshipstruggles #psychologicalabuse #relationshipscoach #toxicparents #narcissisticparent #relationshipstuff #toxicpositivity #relationshipskills #mentalabuse #consciousrelationships #verbalabuse #stopabuse #domesticabuseawareness #loveandrelationships #narcissistabuse #narcabuse #healingfromabuse #hashtagabuse #physicalabuse #abusesurvivors #notoxicpeople #religiousabuse #toxicbehavior #narcissisticinjury #relationshipschool #badrelationships #parentalalienationischildabuse #emotionalabuseawareness #relationshipsgoal #narcissisticabuselifecoach #betterrelationships #relationshipsarehard #lifeafterabuse #toxicgirl #npdabuse #narcissisticsupply #hiddenabuse #relationshipsadvice #toxictraits #cheatingisabuse #narcissisticfather #brokenrelationships #relationshipsuccess #healingafternarcissisticabuse #toxicfemininity #abusiverelationships #narcissisticabuserecoverycoach #toxicfriendships #covertnarcissisticabuse #abusers #narcissisticbehavior #toxicattraction #relationshipsupport #childabusesurvivor #narcissticabuse #covertabuse #masculinityisnottoxic #alcoholabuse #gaslightingisabuse #narcissisticfamily #emotionalabuseisstillabuse #childhoodabuse #christianrelationships #narcissisticparents #healingfromnarcissisticabuse #toxicparents #abuser #narcissisticparent #narcissisticandemotionalabuse #toxicrelationshipsurvivor #abuseisnotlove #abuseofpower #narcissisticrelationship #abuseisabuse #emotionalabusesurvivor #financialabuse #toxicworkplace #buildrelationships #realrelationships #spiritualabuse #abusedwomen #endabuse #unhealthyrelationships #narcissisticrecovery #fakerelationships #brokenrelationships #relationshipsuccess
We associate strength with never giving up, but with narcissists we need to realise the sooner we give up on them, the stronger & saner we will be. They can't be fixed & unfortunately you can't love them better.
Yes great comment. All of our energy that has been wasted on trying to fix the narcissist could have been put to better use.
The narcissist will NEVER love you or be able to accept your love. Narcs view love as a trick, lie, manipulation, weakness.
Well that would explain why he don't want gifts from me and always gives them back
Even if You Love a narcissist, it is best to run away. It's painful and often inconvenient, but it is the only way to escape their abuse. I have learned this the hard way.
MYSELF AS WELL.I LOVED HER SO UNCONDITIONALLY JESUS WILL BE PROUD OF ME.I GAVE&GAVE&DID&DID FOR HER ONLY TO HEAR HER SAY"I JUST DON'T HAVE ANNY EMPATHY"SO MANY RED FLAGS LIKE THAT I SHOULDA RAN YEARS AGO.59 DAYS OUT OF HER 8TH&FINAL DISCARD....GOTTA HEAL💪😪
Especially when you ARE conditioned and manipulated without even realizing that. Creature's ARE shifty. Sneaky. Scary.
Me too,your right.
Guys what do I do my narcissistic father wants to pay for my study’s for college but I want too move out I do have a minimum wage job but want A career on something any advice ? And my whole family is being controlled by satan.
It's a bit hard to run away from your mother when she's stolen your properties, doesn't want you to be alive and yet won't eff off when asked.
There's one thing that virtually every person who has ever been involved with a narcissist agrees with - at least in my experience - and it's that they could've removed themselves from the situation much earlier than they did.
AMEN
I was lied about & thrown in mental hospital whenever I moved out 1978 to 2007. Liars & sadistic dominant controllers. Drug steal & will kill.
Oh yahhhh that’s for sure.
No, not the children of narcissistic parents. You have no choice and by the time you are an adult you can think toxic relationships are normal for decades. You are also a magnet for every narcissistic creep within a 100 mile radius for a considerable time after you have figured out what is going on. You're trying to deprogram from years of psychological and often physical abuse while you have to view every interaction with every new person under a microscope because they will turn up like the ghost at the feast. It can be exhausting and often just not worth the trouble. I still removed myself from the situation at 17 before I knew what was going on and had a few years of hardship to get through it, so worth it.
I thought my gut feeling was me falling in love and the feeling of becoming vulnerable, but that was incorrect, if it doesn't feel ok it isnt.
I believe my mom is a narc. By the time I was 14, I was a nervous wreck, timid, silent and guarded. I attracted a few more narcs who dragged me. I sometimes can’t sleep thinking of how ashamed I am for trying to love them into treating me better. I’ve moved away, started my own business, and I hope they are watching me succeed. Still, I wish I could go back in time and tell them to kiss my a**. I wasted so much time trying to get their approval.
It's completely nuts how a narcissist parent paves the way for all the others thereafter. Having to kill your empathy to survive them is soul-destroying. You're doing the best thing, putting distance & hard work in-between you & them.
I could have listened to my parents who read him like a book and told me, “Do not marry him!”
I also should have listened parents always know !
Narcissist's can be more evil-minded than you think an example is how bad they treat their ill or injured partner's. The covert narcissist can kill you in a sneaky passive-aggressive way by playing cruel mind games on you. They know that if they can push you to the brink you could contemplate ending your life, how convenient that would be for them. If you have a narcissist in your life strengthen your mental muscle because we are fighting a spiritual battle and the narcissist has chosen the wrong side. Rise up and stand in your power.🦅💪
They dine out on an ex's suicide for the rest of their days. My ex-friend, eugh!
@@cosmicstargazer10 Yes the predatory narcissist feeds off other's emotional energy, when they dispose of one victim they move on to the next. Emotional energy vampires.🦇
Pray for me plz. I've just come home from the hospital. Tired of no peace, being blamed, accused, abused. Four children, no money no job no where to go.
@@balanceskateboarding8807 I'm sorry you feel stuck in a not so good situation many Survivor's feel this way. Make sure you eat properly, drink enough water and rest up as much as you can. Hang on to your faith in God as this will strengthen you and give you a little peace. My thoughts are with you and I've prayed for your recovery. Keep your distance from any narcissist in your life as you need to protect your precious energy. Never give up, give the time to your little ones even children like to help out with small chores. Get well, keep positive.
❤
Most people who are in a narcissistic relationship don’t know what they are seeing, don’t know the red flags, etc. It’s impossible to be defensive when you don’t know you are being victimized. A “normal” person doesn’t think like a narcissist does so one would almost have to be a narcissist themself to be able to recognize the abnormal thinking of a narcissist, our minds don’t operate in that realm. There is no way I could have picked up on the fact that my ex was a malignant narcissist prior to being abandoned by him and spending much time studying until I got educated about how they operate and why things went down the way they did. You don’t see it when you are “in it” as they operate very insidiously. Public awareness and public education is needed so that normally thinking people can be enligtened on what to look for and how to identify the common abnormalities and red flags common to most narcissists. People need to know what the enemy looks like and the insidious tactics they use.
Exactly 💯. In my time there wasn't any information about narcissism to find. Nobody even ever told me about it. I didn't even know what narcissism was. Now we can prevend new victims by educating. Like through this kind of CZcams videos. Besides that these narc criminals are also protected by the system. They can get away with everything. I hope in the future this will also change.
THIS. It's why it ever happens.. they have a cool controlled game and normal people cannot even imagine the evil that others are capable of. We could never suspect until it happens.
Exactly💯
I kept going back for more with my mother and sister. Creating opportunities for us to have normal, kind, and loving relationships. I'd confide in them when I thought it was safe, for they'd act for a while like it was, then just like that, they'd somehow find ways to twist and use my confidences against me. Smear campaigns would ensue. And if I tried to stick up for myself, I was crazy. And the shunning to follow.
Yes 100% Should be a regular class in elementary, junior and high school. Take you farther than Algebra in life. The information is out there now. They are so foreign they are like aliens and not human. It's very difficult to learn about them and retain the information because everything they do is so illogical to normal people. Narcissism is on the increase. It almost feels like it's a spiritual warfare. Everybody needs to get educated.
Most of the narcissists in my life, over the past twenty years or more, have come from my own gene pool. Like a cousin who repeatedly abused my friendship, until I finally got real with myself, saw him for what he was and bailed for good. And a brother, my only sibling, who tried stealing an inheritance, without which I could never have retired. Took 14 years for me and my lawyers to get my "bro", the Trustee From Hell, off my back. Thank goodness I got it right when I married; after 40 years my husband is still the love my life. So happy to have moved on!
The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. My Nephew showed me recently how I had misunderstood that all my life. The covenant is the agreement we enter into, when making friends etc. & that blood is thicker, than the amniotic fluid we swam in for 40 weeks or so (I was 5 wks late). Give me, every day, the family I have chosen. Trying to forget the one I was born into. Fortunately, you chose your life-partner well. Be happy together, forever!
YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!! I just learned this the hard, devastating way. Narcissists do not make love. He never calls it "lovemaking." He will call it calisthenics, a workout and will actually wear his fitness watch and other devices to monitor his heart rate, calorie and other health things right after sex. Sex is seen as a part of his exercise regimen. He will also withhold sex and in between the wait, he likes to tell me how amazing sex with his ex wives were, especially his first ex, and al his other lovers in between. And no, he has no physical health issues. He is obsessed with getting older and wants his levels to reflect as he was as a young man. He's also obsessed with everyone thinking great of him. I'm no longer a thought because he has "secured me." When asking him about intimacy and what he likes, he is super vague. He won't even look at me in the mornings. I feel like sex is something he checks off his to do list to appear normal. Then pick endless fights, and the erratic angry behavior comes out of no where, even right after sex. Go ahead and shame me with comments if you want. I deeply hate myself for falling for this garbage already so no one can shame me more than I already have. I never wanted or asked to be a "housekeeper with benefits/c**dumpster" nor the butt if his, his kids, or his ex wife's jokes. I simply thought I was falling in love with someone who felt the same. This video spoke to me. I'm so deeply ashamed of myself and yet, it's just a relief to hear this.
Don't be ashamed. All the shame is on them. You'll see.
Focus on getting out.
Whatever is out there, is better than that.
Correct we ARE just objects. ISN'T that strange..😢
I feel you, rejecting intimacy is the worst
Don’t feel ashamed,, I know your story,, I went through the same thing,,
Don't be ashamed your not the abuser here you will be strong enough to take your power back one day. Otherwise that person wouldn't be trying to steal your strength now.
If I wasn't so chronically ill, I would've left at the first signs of trouble. It wasn't until I started recovering that I noticed something was seriously wrong in how my ex-husband interacted with me. I know now that I recovered against all odds, so I could get away from him and my family of origin.
They cause sickness
Were they making your illness worse? My mother did that to me. I was born with asthma. I only found out decades later that it was a serious chronic condition because my mother used to with-hold my salbutamol when I was a child. I would spend the nights cough-vomiting and then fall asleep in school. If God hadn't given me an above average IQ and love of knowledge and reading, I would have been ignorant and my mother would have succeeded in her objective which was to be the cleverest in the house.
Too bad evil is ignorance.
@@CandiceGoddard My egg donor's (mother's) alcoholism, somatic narcissism, and other dysfunctions, caused me to develop chronic intractable pain associated with FSHD2. I'm first diagnosed in my family, diagnosis was severely delayed. I rebuilt my entire body from the disorder with cannabis and a multi-disciplinary approach. I also was able to get myself out of long term chronic intractable pain. My ex-husband is a covalent malignant narcissist, who never coped with anything I went through in suffering and in healing. I went through a massive healing process from 2015-2021. My family groomed my ex-husband to be a by-proxy abuser, during my healing process from everything FSHD had ever done to my body. I healed against all odds to get way from family of origin and ex-husband.
I was dying from Lyme and coinfections when I met my BPD narc ex (who I have a child with now) - they use anything and everything to torture - especially people with an illness. They will alternate between accusing you of faking it to how awful their life is to have to be put upon by the other person being sick! Even if your illness does NOT impede on their life in any way, or you never ask them to stay home or miss events with friends etc.
You're projecting your experience onto mine. Please don't do that. I went through something most people can't fathom. You don't have any right to speculate on how much my life has been impeded, or to apply your experience to mine, because my experience was completely different and very complex.
I could pray for them but I’ve been guided not to. Instead I pray for my family and myself to heal from their attempts on my life.
No hope for the hopeless, no love for the loveless.
Praying for them reinforces an energetic attachment. Surrender it to God and move on with your life.
There is no reasoning with the unreasonable.
FACT
I could of thought more highly of myself, and not been afraid to go it alone. Don’t go with what everyone is doing make your own way against the world.
When you’re a child and it’s your only parent you think it’s normal because you don’t know any different.
The only thing I could have done differently is left sooner. But I refuse to blame myself. I got out, reflected, went no contact. I’m safe now, just haunted by traumatic memories.
That was the case for my brother. Unfortunately, he never grew a pair, once he realised what she had been doing. Tried to guilt me into rescuing him. I tried to defend him, but it fell on deaf ears. She spat at him "you're just like your father", whenever he was not complying or buckling under enough. When, from the age of 3, all he heard about his father was poison, of course, she said it to hurt him & it worked. The poor sod is actually mourning her. Not me, no Siree. She didn't even do a funeral plan, to show him that the sacrifices he made from age 11-31, were worth something to her. She trashed every minute of his life wasted in that. I got out 18 months before she died, believe me when I say, those sorry excuses for siblings maintain I killed her. By sticking up for myself, if it did, well, I'm sorry.
Hugs. I too never blame myself for the horror that I experienced.
Another lie is "You never give up on your family". But when you realize through videos about narcissism, that your family are narcissists, because everything you went through with them lines up exactly with the truth about narcissists, then you have to go no contact to save yourself.
Honour thy father & thy mother, even when they're dishonouring you, no thanks. Forgive them their trespasses, nuh uh, no way, not EVER again. Once you become the ruler of the sovereign state of your mind, there's no going back. And, GOOD!
I think the term, "Turn the other cheek" means to abstain from resisting evil. It doesn't mean you have to put yourself in harm's way. Quite the opposite, it means to get the hell away from that person without retaliating. By doing this, you free yourself to be independent from evil people and not be trauma bonded.
Agree.
Not possible leave without any kind of trauma, after you lived with those Entitys for so long.
Agreed. It means don't get vengeance, don't return the hit. It doesn't mean stick around for more attacks.
The only thing we can do is walk away and stay away, with the full understanding that the horrible way the narc treated us had nothing to do with us, or anything we did. It was never us.
I agree! Run, hide and heal! Build your defenses back up spiritually, emotionally, physically!! If you have been in abusive situations then you need time to heal and rebuild yourself!! Thanks for your message. 😊
My narcissistic abusive mother repeated over and over again that me, my husband and our baby intruded on her peace and freedom. Now we leave it to her forever. We got no contact. She can have her precious peace and freedom now always.
In all honesty there is nothing you could’ve done, because when you begin a relationship with a narcissist you don’t know they are a narcissist and after you figure it out it’s to late to make your own decisions and leave him or her. So the answer is there is NOTHING you could have done differently to avoid the abuse or get out of it. Maybe if you realized your being narcissisticly abused and you find the strength and ability to leave but that’s after the abuse but you couldn’t prevent it because the narcissist hides there true self and in the beginning you had no idea they would turn out to be abusive. So to say you could have left sooner is not accurate to me
WELL SAID ❤
Here’s the thing about what he’s saying in my opinion. Initially, when people would ignore me or give me the silent treatment in my childhood of course I thought I was bad and did something wrong because why would anybody treat me that way unless I did something to deserve it. I was told I was too loud or too bold or too unattractive or too stupid or too sensitive or too needy and 1 million other things and of course I believed that. I was just a child. Fast-forward into grade school in middle school and college or a work life that toxicity, that energy of negativity is all we know how to navigate so course we find those types of people in our adult life. I never even knew anything about narcissism or narcissistic abuse until 2015 there are clear signs though once you learn and the very first sign is when you meet somebody whether it’s a boyfriend or a new friendship, it will start out great and they’ll be a lot of reciprocity but if they are a narcissist then all of a sudden you could be texting with them and they drop off the thread literally in mid conversation or you could be on the phone with them and they could say I’ll talk to you tomorrow and then boom they literally ghost you. You might send a text or something just to check in and you get nothing in return so now we’ve learned not to chase them or ask what’s wrong are you mad at me so instead because of all the information we’ve learned from channels like this we just ghost them back and stay silent. They always come back and it is so disgusting when they do because they will send a text“are you OK? I haven’t heard from you in forever” they gaslight you into believing that they’re shocked they haven’t heard from you and have no idea why. That is the pattern of a narcissist and they are dangerous and disgusting people so now we know and yes now there is something you can do to stop it you can go really slow with all new relationships. Don’t extend your heart for 3 to 6 to 12 months, wait for these patterns to saturate into the relationship and if they do, you are not emotionally invested and you can leave. If they don’t, then you can move forward and establish trust. A narcissist will always, always start with the ghost texting or ghost conversations so look for that in this modern age of technology and never let them back in when they call you mystified as to where you might be don’t let them gaslight you to think they don’t know exactly what they were doing when they were looking for supply and for someone to chase them. They are evil, and their behavior is intentional.
You're right. When the emotional abuse started, I recognized it was FOREIGN, but I was already IN IT and "addicted" to him. It took 8 weeks for me to leave the home we shared but it's going on 7 years of healing. I don't think I'll ever heal. I've learned to live with it and am now so much better at reading people. I can see and feel evil intentions in people and I hate how melodramatic that sounds but it's true. My compassion for all people is exponentially greater except for these demons masquerading as humans. The wake of destruction they leave behind them is mind boggling. Learning to work with malignant narcissists is the biggest challenge I face now. There's one in every organization.
I have learned by watching a lot of videos on narcissism (over 100) that all narcissists show the same signs that they are a narcissist early on in the relationship. To avoid them, as soon as you see the signs, run. Google'signs they are a narcissist'.
You are correct. I left sooner but came back since I didn’t know she was narcissistic. Now I leave because I understood how they work and actually disgusts me these people really exists on the face of the earth. When I am with her I have the feeling I am with a dead person/zombie/robot. Fcking weirdos.
Sadly, this is 100% true. It's fight or flight. Either their games have to cost them (something real), or you disappear the moment it's apparent they're playing some twisted superiority game in their head. There's no in-between.
Unfortunate. But there it is.
My people perish for lack of knowledge. . . I wanted to leave in the 2nd year of marriage but the narcissism was subtle . . . I did not even know that word existed . . . Something in me really really wanted to leave but I could not because I was heavily pregnant with his 1st baby . . . plus I could not afford to leave , I didn't have the finances . So I stayed but the urge to leave kept coming and going over the 23 years until bang I realized what was going on and I left . . . this year in January. In the African context women are expected to endure this abuse . . . Most churches are not helpful either . The blame always goes back to the woman for not loving or submitting to her husband enough. .
I could have been born to a different father. He taught me all I need to know, after escaping him at age 14, I have never let another narcissist in my life. But I didn't have a choice.
It's easy to say "Just leave them." but when it's your parent and you're a minor with no money and nowhere to go... yeah.
True. We’ve been trained from babies to listen to a narcissist, that’s why we’re such good prey for narcissists when we reach adulthood. But this advice is excellent for the present( now we are adults). Leave. Do not give the narcissist the benefit of your presence. But work on yourself when you’ve left. We need to learn how to defend ourselves.
@@prinzessinderverurteilung5553especially when they trauma-bonded you.
When your a light,your a light!! They can't stand it,and will try to rob you of those very things. You win,when you continue being a light! Just keep living, stay happy,do good things for people. Always love self more than anyone else.
I really like how chilled out and calm you are while expressing reality. Thanks Kevin for another great spot on talk.
I wish I heard this 10 years ago ❣️🙏🏻
11:52 Very true, my narcissistic family members will only be happy if I'm dead. I realized that years ago.
I understand this completely...God help the woman he married 10 weeks after I stepped away from this sorry situationship😳
I always thought it a bad thing, to laugh at the misfortune of others, but damn, she is SO welcome to THAT hot mess & all the nastiness oozing from every pore!
This is so helpful. Am in the process of healing from a narcissist family member. It has been so very painful. So impressed with the straight talk. Thank you. 💖
This is fact. My narc dad was abusive to me as a child and controlling and threatening to me as an adult. At 45 years old, I stood up against him, separated myself from my entire narc family, and my life has become solo much better. I promised to knock him out if I had to hit him if he ever approached me in a threatening manner again. He has since defamed me with lies, my sister has done the same, but most of the people they have lied to doesn't make any difference to me anyway. No contact is the only way to survive a narc family or ex.
That was amazing. I had never seen the Narcissistic relationship from this POV. As a Jewish Believer, this talk resonates with me. ❤
For me, the only way to have avoided them is to never have been born. I've had to keep the friends I've made as the family chosen for myself. Two narcissist parents & 3 narc siblings, a raft of extended family buying in to the smear campaign, waste of time, them all. You burn, you learn.
I have already made this comparison and I agree. It is about not being allowed to exist as a separat person only as an extension of them. When you are no longer useful, you will be discarded in one way or the other.
No benefit of doubts was beneficial. No excuses.
No second chance, you are perfect with what you see the way it is. No doubt.
Yes, just get out and heal yourself. Sort out your boundaries and make them strong. Your life is far too precious to have it destroyed by these evil beings. They will NEVER change, but you can and have a good life.
I pray everyday that I was adopted and have a wonderful father out there somewhere... I have put up with my NF for 58 years and still dealing with it unfortunately... 😢
Plan secretly and RUN!
Ignore them don’t engage go far from them !!!! Pray for them!
Kevin, you have no idea how much your videos are helping me! I was born into 2 narcissistic families on both sides...My mother, brother, half sister and half brother...all Narcissist...addicts to alcohol or pills...
My Dad and Great Aunt were my Rocks!!!!
They were givers, loved others, and showed kindness to everyone!!!
They weren't gossips, liars, deceivers or users!!!!
The Narcissist in my family hated and still hate me because God called me into the Ministry at 16 yrs old...I answered the call...went onto Seminary (Southwestern) and became a Missionary (Teacher).
They claim to be Christians but have cruelly mocked me all of my life! Recently, I had to come back to the state I was born in after 2020....I am currently trying to sell my home in Florida...now living with my Dad's Narcissist sister...not sure how that family dynamic happened??? The evil I have experienced from her and the others is beyond comprehension!!!
I never wanted to have to be apart of this family dynamic again!!! Unfortunately,
since I never married or had children ....creating my own immediate family...I have found myself in a very precarious situation!
Praying my home sells soon so I can be free from these dark souls!!!!
My TRUE FAMILY is the FAMILY OF GOD...
NOT the people who are somehow biologically kin to me!!! ✝️🦋
A harsh comparison needed to be made. Thank you for making it. I am currently going through the stages of grief, radical acceptance, and complete no contact. After a lifetime of trying to fix myself and trying to figure out what I could do better… I quit.
I'm Jewish, and the child of two "cluster Bs" and I consider this comparison not only valid but spot on!
Although it can be controversial to raise this topic, you ARE ON POINT in every detail. I always felt that dealing with my NPD family members was equal to confronting an unbending, unflinching, inflexible diabolic infiltrating evil force equal to the regime you mentioned. I alwasy saw my mother as some sort of sergeant major. There is just no bending ever.
Omgoodness, you are so right and I love your help and pray to over come and able to stand up to my abusers so that my children and grandchildren will have the peace and love we all deserve to have. God bless you.😇🙏🤗
Again you’re 100% right Kevin. And it’s funny how you never even knew how I literally always said that my husband was like a cross between Hitler, Saddam Hussein and Mike Tyson. For years I said that. And that was a long time ago. He was very scary when he’d go into one of his tirades. It was warpath you wouldn’t want to cross 😳😟😣 I honestly don’t even want to remember 😯😐😑😞
Mine looks like Charles Manson and acts a bit like Clint Eastwood when he starts and no you do not want to cross that.
Turn the other cheek when you can't get away . There's also a passage in the Bible that encourages us to go no contact. Read 2 Timothy 3 . HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM. The Bible is the greatest book ever written, it is the words of God .
I was thinking, the only thing I could’ve done differently is if I never would have met him in the first place… As well as what you said… Don’t participate in their game playing… And exit stage left! ⬅️
Kevin is exactly right and it’s what I’ve done, when I can afford to do so, like for any narcissist outside of the workplace.
You should still expect that they’ll come chasing after you, either because they’re sure they own you or because of the crevasse your departure may leave for them. But you can’t double back.
We didn’t even know what the problem was in the first place, wisdom comes after the fact..
Self love needs to happen before you can love another. Getting abused is not self love. Get out, put up boundaries, go no contact and heal. This is 100% true
Excellent point.. putting up with it is tolerating more abuse
Kevin. Thank you. We do make top many excuses for them.
I have also been told by a good few therapists that all I did wrong in the narc relationships I was in was that I stayed too long. You end up with so much blame and guilt after it ends and to save yourself years of that just know all you could ever have done was leave sooner and also never be with someone like that again.
No contact is the only strategy for dealing with narcissists. Once you recognize you are dealing with a narcissist remove yourself from them and stay away. Try to think about narcissists in simple terms like if you came across a large crocodile you would not expect to be able to negotiate with it or be kind to it and expect a good outcome but if you stay in contact with it it is only a matter of time before you become it's meal, it is the same with narcissists.
Someone told me to set aside my pride. I told them hell no
have to say I agree with you on your comparison with narcs and genocidal maniacs. The narcs I have dated didn't have that resources or power to control or destroy more people outside of romantic relationships. They share a lot of thoughts and ideas though
🙂 If your asking that question its because your still stuck living in the Fog of Silent Hill. You need to stop with the cudavs and the shudavs. Relationships break down all the time for a billion reasons and it doesn't matter if its a narcistic relationship or just a regular relationship. All people get older and as they age out they change. And you will change as well. People just drift apart. So stop getting too attached to anyone and see it for what it is. Anyways I hope you guys eventually figure it out and move on to the next chapter in your lives. Happy New Years and God Speed. 😇🙏
Truly brilliant and very clever concepts.
The mistake I made was thinking if I got away from the abusers I could move on and have my own life. Not understanding that I was conditioned for the next round of abusers. Getting right with God was the path that gave me grace to face my disfunction.
This is so empowering thank you. Yes in the last 50 years we’ve been brainwashed into a flippant forgiveness. You’ve given me food for thought!
Narcissism manipulates the truth. But love embraces the truth. Melissa Dougherty has a very good explanation of what Godly love truly is. Narcs don’t love truth. God is love because God doesn’t lie love embraces truth.
Excellent comparison..All of it🙏💯
I'm glad I met the narcissist. That's what it took to open my eyes and see life the way it really is.
Kevin what you have said about them bieng genocidal maniacs is exactly the right description of them. Running or hiding and distancing oneself is the only option.
I needed to hear 👂 this. 😢
I've been feeling like King David for almost a year now. It's so true.
You dress absolutely trendy, Kev... We have taken the gap between male/female feminity masculinity to a hateful level😱... i know soft or reasonable guys or tough, kick ass ladies...we all deserve love of course in a respectful ways
What didn't break or smash by accident,broke or smashed secretly on purpose.Watering flowers?Smashed.Some kind of energy that wasn't in control.
And being raised by a narcissist dad that estranged me at age 32. I am 48 now.
Lmaooooo @ "14 years IN A CAAAAVE"
I LOVE God's people lolollll, couldn't have said it better myself
Spot on. I've been making the same comparisons for some time. I swear this is all becoming more commonplace now, and it makes me wonder where we are headed. At some point, the good people of the world will have to stand together and "fight" this before it consumes and destroys everything. Its humanities #1 problem in my opinion.
I say, you did fine the words. Kevin, you are a genius in disguise
So right on as usual! You've been so helpful and validating.
This information helped me to stop blaming myself for getting hooked in with a person of high narc traits. I was 13, and they were a predator.
Brilliant discussion Kevin. We get it. Those who have had the venom from the pathological NPD cases, we get it.
Exactly what I've learned. I ignored all the red flags and did the "christianese" turn the other cheek, love them harder. That doesn't work with someone carrying demons. I actually talked about this last night at bible study. Someone needed clarification. Thanks Kevin!
I've also realized one thing: a Spiritual Person that happens to be or to having grown self centered enough , can even resort to Prayer to help people that are carrying demons to somehow inspire them to go back to Light . . . but it can be done as long as these Prayers are made in a FULL no contact condition (save for some exceptions that are so extremely rare ) that is NOT ONLY physical, but also spiritual and psychological
. . . otherwise the Prayers made in order to bring relief to the Life of someone that, say, hasn't never been a manipulative creep / toxic narc before demons and other entities took control fo him / her, can still get you to stay or feel energetically, vibrationally , emotionally trapped, even if he / she doesn't know that you are praying for him / her, as you are feedin 'em more Light, after all the Light that they've already stolen from you. And, even without knowing about you praying for them, they could still unknowingly vampirize you into lack of balance and into squandered, cannibalized energy.
There are some of these person that ACTUALLY should have not acted as toxic narcs if they should have never reachead some level of demonic possession or other (esoterical and/or psychiatric) issues - there are, and they are a lot, PER SE.
So, feeling like praying for people that are somehow insane ( expecially for the part of them that are because of nasty traumas), IS STILL a very compassionate kind of choice. BUT ONLY - let me repeat it for it's so very important - AS LONG as you use your praying, meditative, human empathy FROM A PLACE WHERE NO CONTACT IS NOT ONLY ON THE PHYSICAL LEVEL, BUT ALSO ON THE PSYCHOLGICAL, EMOTIVE, ENERGETICAL ONE.
If you are in a space / time where you are not going back to the old ways and patterns - because you have irreversibly secured your physical, energetical and spiritual boundaries.
And, even in such a great condition, you still want to be as more cautios as possible. Because it's true that energy vampires could drain you from the distance if you pray for them too vehemently or too meek. Even if both you and him / her totally gone no contact on the bodilly level. You can pray even for the Eternal Salvation of EACH AND EVERY single Sentient Being - but when the too emotive aspects of the Spiritual Experience are an issue that has been addressed or outright solved. Prayer is not only a Spiritual Phenomenon, it also means physical laws ( some known, some kept secret to the public, some totally unknown) creating invisible links with the person you pray for. It can be explained by both Faith and Sceince. Trust me.
I agree with this, which is why my personal life is peaceful. But what about the workplace? Narcs are everywhere. When it comes to making a living, there’s no place to run or hide anymore. So now what?
Keep to yourself as much as possible, don't share personal info. Your co workers, bosses, are not your friends. Don't let them intimidate you either.
You have to learn "grey rock" at work, but its not easy if being honest and helpful and open come naturally - likely making people jealous with your good work and good relations with others. They hate that, and so MUST spread rumours about you asap. Grey rock can deal with it, but also learning new skills and improving yourself is good - do it secretly and then move on to another workplace. Warning: The same TYPE of characters WILL show up at new workplaces! learn mistakes made at previous places just try to keep your head down as much as possible.
You see and overstand-... Your words clarified my thoughts. I had to stop and really listen to this just now.... Too much to explain but this is what I do... I delete / block , leave , whatever to separate. I would over think and say well maybe . but be frustrated like crazy. be angry like crazy. this is mind saying NO! I HAVE BEEN CONDITIONED TO KEEP GOING.. BUT I AM TIRED. I DONT WANT TO BE RIGHT OR GET A BUNCH OF PEOPLE INVOLVED... JUST SEPARATE.. THAT WORD- STEREOTYPE.. HIT ME IN MY HEAD.. That is what these type of people do. they know how you operate and feel they can do whatever over and over once they have tested you and you "passed". Thank you this video. I know how I feel but the word/s help when you hear it from a totally unbiased person that doesn't know you specifically..Great day to you.
I believe that a narcissistic family member only become a narcissist only through trauma of what happened to them in their past. And they want to find a way to accuse falsely on their individuals to release the pain that they are hiding. But they never ever realizing in who they are truly hurting when they blame on others or to falsely accuse on someone else in their family. And it isn't right.
Sooooo harsh & true, pure evil with these types of individuals , my ex abuser would tell me that he hated that he loved me! I understood this as if he was pure evil 😢
Or is not real...... this genocide reminds me of abuse my mom put me through. Being isolated from the world... being beaten, yelled at... just for existing.... it's the same....
It screams my whole life.. i still have a little hope left for my dog and my self. Hopefully I can change things by changing myself first. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🍉🍉🍉🌹🌹🌹🥰🥰🍉🌹🌹🍉🥰🥰 be that 👑🐝 I was meant to be. 🥰
Kevin this makes a lot of sense. This society is so juvenile. Spend time in another country. You will understand how USA is so attached to peer pressure etc. hence stereotyping is an excellent call-out to how we define our drive to command our relationships. I had David’s cave moments a few times at the expense of ostracizing myself from the family. It all pays off ….thanks again your wisdom is unparalleled!
I want to hear it very very much APPRECIATE you and your Honesty speak.
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL FAMILY AND FRIENDS.THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Thank you so much!
One of your best videos ! You said facts 💯 🎉
You are correct.
I just had a conversation with a friend today the exact comparison was made. Hitler and a nazi
Nothing differently except leave sooner!
First, the name, "The Royal We" is absolutely epic. I have extremely good conversations with friends that adore history and humor :) I may give you a call, I'm just pretty close to an, "incident". I assume most people around here might understand what that means. And don't stop.
If only a narcissist hadn’t birthed me…..
My problem also…when your a kid what are you going to do ???
Thankyou. This is truth. However, I'm part Jewish as some of my friends. I love the Jewish ppl, like my Grandfather, I am a practicing Christian. I have 5, yes 5 adults in my church that are narcissists. Guess what? I am their " target". And I can't run away- though I distance myself as best as I can. I do feel surrounded. 3 of the narcissists have destroyed so much in my life. I'm over y0, but have been only learning about NPD in the past 18 months, after asking God for understanding of these individuals in my life. Daily, I struggle with the thoughts of witnessing them shaming me & misrepresenting me to others. It's very ugly to see how narcissists LOVE to target me as a victim as I actually watch with my own eyes the delight and pleasure that the fruit of their evil doings bring upon myself. I'm very graced by God though very painful.
Exately‼️❣🎯👍... Amazing!!!!!!!!!!! It couldn't be express better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🔝 Thank U so so much!!! 😘
Get on with it! I'm exhausted. "Boughtin into?!"
Spot on they that abuse do it for power and evil freedom.
It wasn't trying to love more, it was keeping your friends close, and your enemy closer.
Around 2004, my Aunt Christina asked why Nikolai Yakunin wanted to kill me?
Very profound! Thank you!💛
Was scapegoat of envious, malicious, malignant narcissistic mother, enabled by my passive controlled father and her entire family. Married too young a narcissist man who controlled me and raised our only son in a manner that turned him into a narcissist as well given my submission. Too old to leave and husband and son far less problematic than my mother with whom I am now no contact. Still wonder what life could have been but for, but that is pointless.
Thank you Kevin, the analogy with David living in the cave for 14 years, learning how to manage with Saul was such a great example. I only wish that just like Saul, all narcissists would realize that we are better human beings than them, and leave us alone!! You are such a genuine person. Thank you. May God bless you!
I think this applies to certain groups that are narcissistic as well.
Many blessings to you, and thank you ❤ 😢
Kevin, i would love it if you would explore the depth of what turning the other cheek actually means. Or maybe you already have a discussion out about. I really don't believe He meant for us to become doormats. “Please kick me again”! I don't think so, but many of us have been confused and misled by this scripture. I love how you're willing to go into the deeper meaning if scriptures. God Bless You for that ❤