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Narcissistic or just a jerk

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  • čas přidán 3. 12. 2023
  • Narcissistic abuse is an undeniable crisis. Discover Healing, Empowerment, and Authentic Living...
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    The Royal We has helped Millions to escape the grip of narcissistic abuse. Here’s a deeper look into what narcissistic abuse looks like and steps to heal from it:
    Narcissistic abuse looks like:
    Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often show little to no empathy for others, making it easy for them to manipulate and exploit. Narcissists use various tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and devaluation to control and dominate their victims.
    Common Tactics Used in Narcissistic Abuse:
    Gaslighting: Making the victim doubt their own reality and sanity.
    Love Bombing: Showering the victim with excessive attention and affection to gain control.
    Devaluation: Undermining the victim’s self-worth through criticism, belittling, and emotional neglect.
    Isolation: Cutting the victim off from their support systems to increase dependency on the abuser.
    Triangulation: Using others to create jealousy or competition, keeping the victim feeling insecure.
    Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
    How to begin healing from narcissistic abuse:
    Understand that you have been enduring narcissistic abuse. This awareness is the first step toward healing.
    Get Help:
    Work with The Royal We to get the tools to understand and process your experiences. Visit - www.jointheroyalwe.com
    Establish No Contact or Low Contact:
    Limit or completely cut off communication with the narcissistic abuser. This helps you gain emotional distance and begin your healing journey.
    Rebuild Your Self-Esteem:
    Engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-worth. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who value and respect you.
    Educate Yourself:
    Learn about narcissistic abuse and its effects. Knowledge is empowering and can help you recognize patterns and avoid future toxic relationships.
    Practice Self-Care:
    Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to your recovery.
    Set Boundaries:
    Develop and maintain healthy boundaries in all your relationships.
    Connect with others who have experienced narcissistic abuse. Join The Royal We Support Group - theroyalwe.kartra.com/page/ynE48
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Komentáře • 207

  • @rickymartin859
    @rickymartin859 Před 8 měsíci +124

    Literally the message I've needed for almost a year now. It doesn't matter if she is a narcissist, dismissive avoidant , emotionally unavailable, promiscuous woman. It' doesn't matter. All that matters is that they aren't right for me. There is no point in putting a label on it. Abuse is abuse no matter how it's labeled.

    • @rickymartin859
      @rickymartin859 Před 8 měsíci +6

      I did say this before the end of the video, he said it too.

    • @christineribone9351
      @christineribone9351 Před 8 měsíci +12

      @@rickymartin859Hola, Ricky Martin! Thank you. The last sentence said it all, "abuse is abuse no matter how its labeled". Gracias!

    • @Mercalons
      @Mercalons Před 8 měsíci +12

      Whoever makes you feel bad on a daily basis is not good for you

    • @Mercalons
      @Mercalons Před 8 měsíci +7

      I dont know what he is but his Who doesnt align with me ,I have dumped him,best thing I did

    • @Bluelady100
      @Bluelady100 Před 4 měsíci

      I get this completely. But married since 18yrs old and I feel that I'll never make it alone. For a ton of reasons. I'm 47 and lost 😢

  • @truthiseverything9511
    @truthiseverything9511 Před 8 měsíci +60

    This is exactly the conclusion I came to. If the end result is the same, who cares about the label?

  • @PassionateFlower
    @PassionateFlower Před 8 měsíci +25

    19:30 You are so right. One of the most evil aspects of narcissists or aholes or abusers in general is that they ruin you for other people so that you are too drained and depleted to be healthy enough to show up fully for your true loved ones. Because you end up using all your energy and attention on the abuser instead of spending your energy on the people who truly deserve your love, care, devotion, stewardship, empathy, and help. Truly sinister. And of course they are able to twist the narrative and say, "Don't blame me for blah blah it's not fair to blame me for all your problems blah blah blah I didn't do anything bla bla bla you're the one who chose to blah blah blah free will blah blah blah."

  • @JoyCoy65
    @JoyCoy65 Před 8 měsíci +22

    I've called my partner of 40÷ years an asshole for decades and feel stupid for staying with him for so long. I just discovered narcissisium personality disorder this year and it shocked me because it sounds exactly like him. The physical and emotional abuse I have endured has been bad. I want to leave, but he always threatens me with endless things he will do to me. Asshole or narcissist, they are both from the same mold.

  • @ChildoftheLIGHT
    @ChildoftheLIGHT Před 8 měsíci +15

    I label unhealthy, unhealthy. Abuse is abuse.
    Neglect is neglect.
    Rude is rude.
    Selfish is selfish.
    Immaturity is immaturity.
    Thank you, Kevin, for speaking plainly about the bottom line.
    *to anyone here, I believe you know what is “right” behavior and what is “wrong”.

  • @jeanhickman6678
    @jeanhickman6678 Před 8 měsíci +42

    You’re so spot on. Been studying narcissists (assholes) for 5 years now. My life has been FULL of them and is still currently.
    I just want to encourage YOU! I just love you! You are doing a great work for the Lord!

    • @rebeccagrace1509
      @rebeccagrace1509 Před 7 měsíci +3

      "Been studying assholes" 😭🤣🤣🤣 since I was born... Thanks Dad!😃👍🏽🤣

  • @VMM34
    @VMM34 Před 8 měsíci +24

    "Do you want to be around them" is such a good phrase to ask myself. My heart knows the answer, but society always expects us to stick around and not give in, especially where family is concerned. If your insides feel uneasy with their behaviour you mustn't spend any more time around them

    • @OkieDokie-ft5pm
      @OkieDokie-ft5pm Před 8 měsíci +3

      One by one I've had to basically get rid of my three siblings of the last decade at 50-yrs old. I didn't even realize I was a scapegoat until my mid-40s when I had an elderly man overhear me and said "Ahh.. you're the scapegoat!" That was a game-changer because I started to look up that word and realized that that's how I've been in passive aggressive and sometimes aggressive ways my whole entire life versus my other siblings.
      I now only talk to my 81 year old parents and it's only because there's a financial situation. But I have a good feeling that they've been a root of all of it and actually see a lot of proof of some of their sabotage here and there myself.
      But I moved away two decades ago by 2300 mi away and it's so much easier. It's just that their mask didn't slip off until it was almost too late and it slipped off for too long.
      I don't even talk about this topic unless someone else hints that they might be a fellow scapegoat because too many people are into this Cult of Family nonsense.
      Thanks for quoting Kevin's rhetorical question there... I hate to say it, but I can't unsee what I saw with them before and I'm not going to put myself through that again at this rate

    • @leahflower9924
      @leahflower9924 Před 8 měsíci +3

      I feel like newer generations are better at that because they don't have as much blind obedience and respect

  • @lorrainefrasier4096
    @lorrainefrasier4096 Před 8 měsíci +14

    All you need to know is you deserve better.

  • @koolbeans8292
    @koolbeans8292 Před 8 měsíci +9

    Nearly 8 years ago I was accused by my narcissistic dad of being a selfish smartacilc. I was just copying my codependent mother who was the ass hole. I kicked them both out of my life finally at my age of 59.... Then I started watching these and learning from these CZcams, podcasts about narcissistic behavior and I started cleaning house... and I'm not done. Thank you Kevin!
    Are you sure we didn't have the same parents?

  • @cassiebennet4262
    @cassiebennet4262 Před 8 měsíci +17

    A jerk is just a slang term. I hate when people say MaYbE tHeY'rE jUsT a JeRk. Define jerk. It's just another term for evil.

  • @Dorothy-gp6nl
    @Dorothy-gp6nl Před 8 měsíci +12

    They both have mean spirits.

  • @Grrrrrrr123
    @Grrrrrrr123 Před 8 měsíci +9

    Thirty years… one year out hallelujah!!! ❤

  • @penapravoce494
    @penapravoce494 Před 8 měsíci +7

    wow this just made me realize my 30 year marriage has just been abusive - labels or not - thanks

  • @user-kx2ix7hn6e
    @user-kx2ix7hn6e Před 7 měsíci +5

    Thank you! Finally someone else know the difference.Assholes are direct but a narc wear a mask

  • @life-rethought
    @life-rethought Před 8 měsíci +15

    I smile for my ex Narc husband used the term jerk to MINIMIZE his behaviors. they were far more insidious and cruel and terrifying. I took note and said nothing. I was already one foot out the door planning my exit. I ran after only 10 months married. I heard myself saying " you are very unhealthy for me"

  • @Duke2363
    @Duke2363 Před 3 hodinami

    Absolutely correct. It doesn't matter. Toxic is toxic. Walk away.

  • @thevagabond8978
    @thevagabond8978 Před 8 měsíci +15

    I agree. No need to overthink or diagnose. Just fix the problem. 👍

  • @LivinLifeLive316
    @LivinLifeLive316 Před 8 měsíci +10

    TRUTH!!!! 👏👏👏 man, I just think how many years we’ve all been abused by narcissists and then when we finally break free and begin our healing, we spend even more of our time diagnosing our abusers …. STOP IT! lol My focus is now on ME! Thanks Kevin for yet another wisdom nugget in this journey!!! God Bless! 🙏🏻

    • @lorraiinetaylor4146
      @lorraiinetaylor4146 Před 8 měsíci +2

      I have literally come to this conclusion today (13 Dec ) ..... the timing of this is spot-on

  • @naysilverspirit5411
    @naysilverspirit5411 Před 8 měsíci +10

    I think if you have been in narcissistic relationship you are qualified to speak about it 😢

  • @PassionateFlower
    @PassionateFlower Před 8 měsíci +12

    Don't pride yourself on being a problem "solver" with abusers and instead become a problem LEAVER.

    • @PassionateFlower
      @PassionateFlower Před 8 měsíci +3

      If it's not your mess then DON'T CLEAN IT UP. PERIOD.

    • @PassionateFlower
      @PassionateFlower Před 8 měsíci +4

      If you want to be a help to your community THEN GO PICK UP TRASH ON THE BEACH DON'T KEEP BRINGING THE TRASH HOME TO YOUR SHEETS!!!!!

    • @cyndigooch1162
      @cyndigooch1162 Před 7 měsíci

      ​​@@PassionateFlowerThat's excellent advice and I'm pleased to inform you that I got rid of the ex, who messed up my already sullied situation even more with his garbage, so stick to picking up rubbish on my way home instead, which goes in the bin!
      I always make sure that I wear a glove, or gloves, though, because I've had to deal some types of rubbish I won't mention now. ☺

  • @scottoz7891
    @scottoz7891 Před 8 měsíci +10

    Shapeshifters. CHAMELEONS AND NARCOPATHS. Stay educated AND Dedicated. Due time..❤❤❤

  • @HeartOfTheSource
    @HeartOfTheSource Před 8 měsíci +12

    Wow! Synchronic...I was speaking with my therapist and I recently came to this conclusion! I started calling them as they are, with sounding like attempting to diagnose them. I said my most major depressive episodes stemmed from a lifetime of being surrounded by A$$holes and now that I realized my worth toxic abusers can't be allowed in my life!! A healthier version of me can't co-exist with their abusive ways in my life. FIN 🙏

  • @user-qv9nw1dq2f
    @user-qv9nw1dq2f Před 8 měsíci +14

    Thank you Kevin for your great analysed advice. I agree with everything you said. Abuse and disrespect are the closure we need. Once people show us who they are we should believe them the first time. We can only control ourselves and we should walk away from people who do not see us, hear us or celebrate us let alone those you abuse and harm us?! We do not owe abusive people anything, not even a word. Our walking away says it all! God bless you❤

  • @mariehughey5390
    @mariehughey5390 Před 8 měsíci +6

    The abuse is apparent to only me. Sadly, if she were anyone else but the daughter I loved since the day I confirmed my pregnancy, I would have cut ties long ago. I’m 67 and now that I’ve learned a bit about narcissism and realized how very subtle the abuse is, I know what I have to do. 😢 If I’m going to survive I need to go no contact. She’s 50. She will be just fine.

  • @suzismith9681
    @suzismith9681 Před 8 měsíci +7

    So why tolerate bad behavior? I have decided to not tolerate bad behavior from anyone, including myself. From this day forward. Your either going to be a true person, trying to do your best , or don't waste my time. Time is our only commodity that is ours. To do what we want with it. No more giving it away to time wasters. I've got things I want to do, for whatever reason , They're important to ME xx !

  • @josephinestone8404
    @josephinestone8404 Před 8 měsíci +14

    I enjoyed my dinner while listening to you. Love a man who speaks in full sentences, can make me laugh and think.....❤ You are insanely perfect company.

  • @alexsandrarokas7117
    @alexsandrarokas7117 Před 7 měsíci +7

    I was horribly tortured. Father was sexually abusive and beat me, mother beat me, caused a schism between the siblings. I was choked to near death, suffocated with pillows, denied food, sent outside to sit on the porch in freezing cold weather, forced to kneel upright all night long (denied sleep) sisters were given the right to tattle on me and one was allowed to strike me the back because my mother was too tired to finish the job. My oldest sister took great pleasure in this. She used to watch me get these beatings with absolute joy in her eyes. Throughout all of this I did nothing wrong because I was told by the nuns “suffer little children to come to me.” According to the nuns, if my parents beat me it was ‘cause Jesus loved me and saw me as worthy to enter heaven. Believe me, I wanted to die. When I reached the age of 17 I left and never returned. So when I the scapegoat, left they had to find another one, and that was my younger sister. For all of my suffering I continued to be beat up by other people telling me: “you must have done something wrong.” When I went to live with my secondary relatives, and they knew of my plight, they too abused me. Not as bad, but it was disheartening. When I married my first husband he was verbally abusive. I divorced him. My second husband’s father was mean to me and my husband. My second husband was/is verbally abusive. He seeing mental health doctor right now. Probably because I told him get help or I leave. Through all of this I managed to obtain a graduate college degree. I am the only one in the family that has one. And for this I am demeaned as having no common sense and that I’m a Communist. Jealously abounds. So instead of being praised for my academic efforts I’m being slammed again by my jealous in-laws. I don’t smoke, drink alcohol, don’t gamble, or sell my body EVER, yet I am being labeled as “bad” by my immediate family,which I don’t see anymore, or I’m lacking common sense. I keep away from my husband’s family too. One more thing: I’m deaf, and I’m labeled as dumb. Hardly. Kiss my ass is what I feel like saying to them.

  • @stephanieholt4992
    @stephanieholt4992 Před 8 měsíci +7

    My narc was a Silent treatment king!!

  • @juliatamalo7916
    @juliatamalo7916 Před 8 měsíci +10

    The more you discern, you finally realize you have come to a situation you never sign up for to begin with. The adamant nature of the abuse makes you realize that it is NOT in human nature, either. Think about the suffering it causes so many innocent individuals. Thank you for the insightful revelation, Kevin. God bless you abundantly 🙏🏻🎉

  • @beachwanderer9486
    @beachwanderer9486 Před 8 měsíci +5

    Labels don't matter! Powerful and Profoundly simple fact! While your sitting there trying to figure out what they are so you can put them in a box they have already sealed your box thrown you in the post and written on you post to Timbuktu.

  • @Lyrielonwind
    @Lyrielonwind Před 8 měsíci +5

    Let's have a non toxic Christmast.

  • @toomanypages
    @toomanypages Před 8 měsíci +7

    I really miss the Royal We Fellowship. I wish you’d bring it back ❤️

  • @nikolio7779
    @nikolio7779 Před 8 měsíci +16

    This is hopeful for me. I'm gonna save this and listen to it whenever I make excuses to stay. Thank you. God bless you.

  • @dominiquedevereux7205
    @dominiquedevereux7205 Před 8 měsíci +4

    The title confused me cuz my 1st thought was: "Well, isn't a CHRONIC asshole the same thing as a narcissist? 🤷🏾‍♂️" Cuz we the length the time/consistentcy of the asshole's 🙎🏻‍♂️assholery is what --- to me --- distinguishes a person having a very bad-moment-in-time, as WE ALL DO, from a person for whom being an asshole 👿 is their normal "resting state" of existence.

  • @user-dr8sc1gp4z
    @user-dr8sc1gp4z Před 8 měsíci +5

    Oh Kevin! I love your “doesn’t have to be so complicated “ approach. We get to decide how to deal with our narcissistic people, but just do it.

  • @lorraiinetaylor4146
    @lorraiinetaylor4146 Před 8 měsíci +4

    Your timing could not have been better .... just came to this conclusion today (13 DEC) about these types of people; love your channel, much love from the UK

  • @jude5815
    @jude5815 Před 7 měsíci +3

    OMG THANK YOU SOOO VERY MUCH KEVIN
    CLEAN CUT, CLARITY
    Been with someone who has increased of late yells mocks belittles NEGLECTS , it slowly crept up to point now Im having terrible shaky anxiety by time he gets home in my sleep screaming out for help . Some how subconsciously thinking maybe it was because I reacted certain way made things worse , Im not a mouse I stand up for myself but lately over and beyond my mind (logic) and seeing through it , my body seems to be breaking down my speech sometines talking with other people just talking and not making sense almost ,cant quite explain , feeling almost breaking into thousands of pieces in my actual body .my mind know s whats going but my body is reacting
    Im stuck financially have made preparation to leave in a year or so saving up . Then leave and be alone in an abyss. Afraid will never meet anyone getting older lost alot through a business venture nothing to offer into relationship Material wise. Hopefully I still have lots of love to offer, I'm sure I do, scared though will end up with another Ass....e!
    Thank you again for your candidness so liberating 💚from Australia
    Jude

  • @WaterBug46
    @WaterBug46 Před 8 měsíci +3

    H proudly proclaims he’s an AH. With no curiosity or self reflection. His words. He thinks it’s his get out of jail free card. But his words became my get out of jail card. Not cost free but definitely out.

  • @christineribone9351
    @christineribone9351 Před 8 měsíci +7

    Glock has hair pin trigger.
    A Ruger has a stiff pull.
    Seek cover from both!

  • @stephanieholt4992
    @stephanieholt4992 Před 8 měsíci +5

    I am overjoyed and blessed i found you!!! 🙏 ❤ thank you!!

    • @TheRoyalWe
      @TheRoyalWe  Před 8 měsíci +2

      So glad my videos found you

  • @MegDD3912
    @MegDD3912 Před 7 měsíci +3

    Good video!! That's a great point 💚
    I wasted close to 7 years trying to figure it out..
    Now I know it doesn't matter & the only thing that does is that I keep my distance as much as possible so I can concentrate on me & my goals..
    That isn't possible being around certain types of people

  • @1Marflowa
    @1Marflowa Před 8 měsíci +3

    I think we want to put a label on it, so we make sure it was not us who where to sensitive

  • @tims9434
    @tims9434 Před 8 měsíci +6

    One of the best videos I've ever watched. Thanks Kevin. I suggest viewers take note from everything you've explained.

  • @almi3767
    @almi3767 Před 8 měsíci +3

    Kevin please keep your channel the same...its better than other channels re: this subject!

  • @davidt9428
    @davidt9428 Před 8 měsíci +7

    👍 The way you use of the word narcissist clearly resonates with those experiencing abuse. Perhaps the biblical term for narcissists is “the wicked”. Agree a great thought in considering an experience (paraphrasing) “are they a good fit for you?”. Are they truely there for you or just looking for opportunity to walk on you?
    BTW in listening to one ”narcissist” credentialed expert, it seemed at the end of the day they had many labelled narcissistic - including many in professions and many who felt abused, and themselves reformed/reforming 🤔. It’s true though, narcissists connive and finger point very effectively, so yes look within ourselves for our own discernment. Perhaps if narcissists did that too rather then just looking outwardly in only how they can step on others for their esteem they might stop being narcissists.

  • @julienatoli8561
    @julienatoli8561 Před 8 měsíci +6

    Hey Kevin .. excellent video. IMHO ... probably your very best one. Thank you Sir, excellent content here. God bless you Kevin. ✝️🕊️🙌

  • @smile-tweetybird1151
    @smile-tweetybird1151 Před 9 dny

    THANK YOU FOR YOUR DOWN TO EARTH "TRUTH".........

  • @godschildyes
    @godschildyes Před 8 měsíci +13

    Your advice is always so sound and accurate. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. 🙏💜

  • @thisisme1981
    @thisisme1981 Před 8 měsíci +4

    I flippin love you and this video!! Thanks for the confirmation and laughs! God bless you!!

  • @theworldneedsyou111
    @theworldneedsyou111 Před 8 měsíci +11

    You are precisely qualified, that is why they are fear was triggered because they know this. The most affective leaders and guides are those that have been through it and have chose the light side and helping others. You cannot beat personal experience. Thank you from all of us and God bless you.

  • @timegoesby7068
    @timegoesby7068 Před 8 měsíci +5

    God bless you so so much, Kevin ❤

  • @Jenny-cj3we
    @Jenny-cj3we Před 2 měsíci

    Lol ‘since realizing I’m dealing with a cluster B, the relationship has been great’! Lmao that’s funny. I needed a laugh today.

  • @taylorkiwis5332
    @taylorkiwis5332 Před 8 měsíci +6

    Personally, I completely understand why someone (in particular females) may want confirmation of whether someone is narcissistic or not. Reason being, when you ultimately make that decision to leave, it is comforting to know that it wasn't YOU who failed the relationship. That it was never about you. It was all about the narcissistic partner, and their inability to function as a supportive, involved partner not only with you, but with anyone. This leaves you in a marginally less broken state than the narcissistic person reduced you to. So I humbly disagree that it's not important to know whether the partner was narcissistic, or just an @-hole. Furthermore, someone who was an @-hole to you for 10 years straight is quite obviously on the narcissistic spectrum. Consistency in behaviour is the key. 10 years of @-hole behaviour is pretty consistent, so if you did not cause said behaviour in some way, shape or form, you are most certainly dealing with a narcissistic individual. I'm not saying that he has NPD, but he'll be high in other narcissistic traits as well, no doubt, and most certainly had a dysfunctional childhood, guaranteed.
    P.S, all narcissists are @-holes, and I am yet to meet an @-hole who is not high in narcissistic traits. Again, consistency in behaviour is the key, but generally @-holes are @-holes to everybody consistently, unless they want something from them, or unless they're interacting with their boss (who can fire them). In the aforementioned case they'll slag their boss off behind his/her back.

    • @tidycoat
      @tidycoat Před 7 měsíci +1

      I like the way you think because it resonates with me!

  • @TF-uu1yu
    @TF-uu1yu Před 8 měsíci +3

    One of your best! Mcfly and Biff!

  • @M-eg8ch
    @M-eg8ch Před 5 měsíci

    😂 I love you Kevin ! Sheer brilliance ! My life is a misery for long time , I studied psychology ,survived most of the stuff you talk about in my childhood,marriage ,parenthood etc and STAYED TOO LONG...tried to fix , help, do the right thing, and remain me...damages are plenty and many could have been avoided if I left sooner, if if if if....Black and white, right and wrong are the concepts of the mind. Clear mind ! Abuse causes emotional turmoil which floods the mind and disables clarity of thought ! Keep doing what you are doing, speaking to the minds in clear messages.Wonderful approach and a huge help for lost souls with shattered hearts and flooded frozen minds ! You are such a tonic,a warm cup of coffee , a friend ! Thank you! Mish

  • @timegoesby7068
    @timegoesby7068 Před 8 měsíci +6

    👏👏👏thank you Kevin for this message

  • @timhawthorne62
    @timhawthorne62 Před 8 měsíci +3

    You just described my brother.

  • @jya-butterfly
    @jya-butterfly Před 8 měsíci +4

    So good. So much of what my rumination has been lately. Thanks. For the layman. Truth. 😂😂😂😂

  • @latashukla6086
    @latashukla6086 Před 8 měsíci +4

    Please speak on the ageing and the Dying narcissists

  • @survivor3243
    @survivor3243 Před 8 měsíci +1

    they're perpetrators of the cycle of abuse...that was key...over and over the's no way out if you t

  • @salonsavy6476
    @salonsavy6476 Před 8 měsíci +5

    Awesome video Kevin 👏👏👏

  • @leoniekhoury565
    @leoniekhoury565 Před 8 měsíci +5

    Brilliant, so good to hear ❤

  • @chamomiletea5424
    @chamomiletea5424 Před 8 měsíci +5

    Amen brother! Bless you and this message 🙏

  • @GoFishOffice
    @GoFishOffice Před 8 měsíci +3

    This was an interesting thought for sure.

  • @Wrxgirl2021
    @Wrxgirl2021 Před 8 měsíci +14

    Is there any way to make the narcissist understand why you left ? Always blaming me. I try to explain. They just don’t get it

    • @chamomiletea5424
      @chamomiletea5424 Před 8 měsíci +14

      there is no closure. move on and live YOUR life

    • @susanmagpayo1850
      @susanmagpayo1850 Před 8 měsíci +12

      You would be better off explaining to a brick wall. I spent over 25 years with a narcissist and like an idiot I kept thinking one day he would understand. Hard to accept, but better for your sanity if you can accept that.

    • @VMM34
      @VMM34 Před 8 měsíci

      They literally set up goal posts in their brain, and whatever you try to get past that goal line they will deflect it away every time. They don't want to hear what you say, so they literally don't listen to it

    • @kellyanndean9374
      @kellyanndean9374 Před 8 měsíci +1

      ​@@TerminatrixT3why don't you leave them!?then?

    • @cassiebennet4262
      @cassiebennet4262 Před 8 měsíci

      It would be exactly the same as someone trying to convince you that 2+2=5. The idea that they do anything wrong is inconceivable and means they have to die. Literally.

  • @ronpitsenbarger
    @ronpitsenbarger Před 8 měsíci +3

    Great video Kevin! Please keep a current playlist of all your videos new to old... Youtibe always takes me to another channel's video at the end. I just want to binge watch your videos. You help everybody with your truthbombs. Thank you Kevin.

  • @jeankipper6954
    @jeankipper6954 Před 8 měsíci +2

    It does not matter. Label it anything that helps. Give up consensus or respect or closure. They won't see it any different today than they have all the earlier days. Because it's not possible. Mechanically. THEY have to do their part, and they will not. For whatever reason. The issue is, how to take care of yourself.

  • @Kristina-zn7fn
    @Kristina-zn7fn Před 4 měsíci

    "Whatever Path is out there" 😂😂😂

  • @survivor2310
    @survivor2310 Před 8 měsíci +3

    Kevin, you made my day! Astonishingly good!!!Thank you, you're genius :) I needed it today, I'll be different from now on... Awesome, I tell you, everything you're trying to explain us...👍👍👍❤️❤️❤️

  • @NightOwlGames
    @NightOwlGames Před 8 měsíci +3

    i assumed it was the same thing.

  • @saskiajonkhout1840
    @saskiajonkhout1840 Před 8 měsíci +1

    I prayed God to bless you. Thank you so so so much for this video. You are so awesom

  • @adelleatherton2498
    @adelleatherton2498 Před 4 měsíci

    This is amazing, absolutely spot on , wow ❤thank you so much for your time and energy in helping people .

  • @user-yy9be9mi6n
    @user-yy9be9mi6n Před 6 měsíci

    Thanks for covering this question! Good answer. :)

  • @annaporter3442
    @annaporter3442 Před 6 měsíci

    Great message! Amazing TRUTH ❤🙏
    21:00

  • @jballs1118
    @jballs1118 Před 8 měsíci +6

    Kev I have a stepdaughter that is both an asshole and narcissists. She always treated my wife disrespectful and now they want to come and freeload for Christmas diner. What should I do. They live in another state and I avoid them like the plague. I just feel bad for my wife that wants to be with her grandkids that this asshole have. Any tips am just going to ignored them while they are in my home. Thanks for your videos

    • @VMM34
      @VMM34 Před 8 měsíci +3

      Just place yourself in a happy glass bubble while she's there. Watching your wife enjoy your grandchildren is all that you need to stay happy in that situation. Have a joyful Pollyanna attitude, that's what I try to do. The children are what's important, that relative of yours is not important in any way. She doesn't dictate Christmas, you do, because you have the spirit of Christmas ❤

    • @jballs1118
      @jballs1118 Před 8 měsíci +2

      @@TerminatrixT3 Yes and the shit is the same when I take my wife to see the grandkids I don’t say shit to them. They will never change

  • @danitajminer3279
    @danitajminer3279 Před 7 měsíci +1

    Your channel is great ❤

  • @J.K.Steingraeber
    @J.K.Steingraeber Před 8 měsíci +3

    Great message

  • @victoriajuelson1849
    @victoriajuelson1849 Před 3 dny

    Thank you

  • @calliopivogiatzis2235
    @calliopivogiatzis2235 Před 8 měsíci +2

    My friend's ex at our casino in Queens N.Y.talks to no one except my husband, supposidely He is aloof,condescending,circles my friend like a vulture subtly trying to control her,and she is the classic"gray rock" persona. Is her ex a narcissist or a jerk?

  • @salmakhan-nw7kw
    @salmakhan-nw7kw Před 8 měsíci +3

    Gosh Kevin I love this vid of yours the best ever! U r great. Can you coach me please?

  • @DENISEASTUNO-ow1qz
    @DENISEASTUNO-ow1qz Před 9 dny

    ❤Thank you ❤

  • @smile-tweetybird1151
    @smile-tweetybird1151 Před 9 dny

    great video!!!!

  • @discountcodes
    @discountcodes Před 8 měsíci +1

    Very good video:)❤

  • @andrewmulligan6844
    @andrewmulligan6844 Před 7 měsíci

    Good call.

  • @christineribone9351
    @christineribone9351 Před 8 měsíci +6

    I WANT TO GET EVEN
    ANYONE ELSE?

    • @kellyanndean9374
      @kellyanndean9374 Před 8 měsíci +1

      Oh,yes!!💯%👍any suggestions?

    • @VMM34
      @VMM34 Před 8 měsíci +5

      I know your struggle. I got even. Problem is that the feeling doesn't last and you'll want to get even over and over and over again, because he'll just brush it off and look like he's enjoying himself with his new life. And you'll look like a deranged ex partner. That's what happened to me.
      So learn from me, it doesn't work.
      What DOES work (as I found out by accident and by personal experience) is completely ignoring them. They can't deal with it, they start to panic, they start to overthink, even if they have a new girlfriend. They can't stop dwelling on why you're okay without them. That's when they'll go behind their girlfriend's back and contact you. And that's when you tell them you have a boyfriend (even if you don't). They'll probably not contact you again quickly after that, but they'll be so disregulated that they'll go behind their girlfriend's back and start contacting every ex they ever had in order to feel valued Lol. Let them destroy themselves

    • @christineribone9351
      @christineribone9351 Před 8 měsíci

      @@kellyanndean9374
      Kick their $&#?!#
      and then $&-#;!
      after that, have a nice day! 😃

    • @christineribone9351
      @christineribone9351 Před 8 měsíci +4

      @@VMM34 LOL !! 😂😄
      I cant think of anything that would make things even-steven. Im too busy trying to recover.
      I went "no contact" too. Only its with a brother. I consider him the walking dead. He gets to live his miserable life without a sister.
      I don't think he's going crazy missing me, and Im not missing him, he's the walking dead.
      I now understand how some people end up killing someone. I hated being brought to that depth of emotion. I never want to feel that way again, so 'no contact" is best.

    • @cassiebennet4262
      @cassiebennet4262 Před 8 měsíci +2

      The only way to do that is by leaving, thriving and pretend they never existed. They REALLY hate that.

  • @lauralee7662
    @lauralee7662 Před 8 měsíci

    Ohh how I enjoy you. LOL at the 20:05 ish🤣

  • @wookieiam1
    @wookieiam1 Před 6 měsíci

    The narcissist has no empathy. No empathy means not listening to anything . Narcissists are dismissive. Narcissists can not cry. They absolutely can not cry. They can not accept responsibility for what they do. The best weapon is neglect.

  • @bronwynsimons7028
    @bronwynsimons7028 Před 8 měsíci +2

    I 💯 have to agree with, no matter the label, abuse is abuse‼️
    However...
    I have to ask ,is it not true that a jerk could change and admit faults, when doing marriage counselling ,or any counselling for that matter.
    Where as a narc, is basically incapable of change, because of their absence of empathy, and because their way has always worked for them, so why would they want to change?
    When they can simply move on to the next supply and start All over again, and so on and so on...
    Until they die alone and miserable

    • @cyndigooch1162
      @cyndigooch1162 Před 7 měsíci

      @bronwynsimons7028 It's a fact that some highly narcissistic people can do healing work on childhood trauma wounds, then change toxic behaviour and Dr Mark Ettensohn, who has a channel called Heal NPD is having success in this area!
      It's highly unlikely though and most of the "jerks," or "a**holes," aren't going to easily agree to change their ways either.
      Another point is that many of them don't die alone because a lot of long-term "partners" choose not to leave, or aren't able to do so, among other reasons. 😊

  • @kellyanndean9374
    @kellyanndean9374 Před 8 měsíci +2

    I loved Back to the future!michael j.fox,,was awesome!

  • @terresagrace3767
    @terresagrace3767 Před 8 měsíci +3

    I want to know how to spot before we get involved. Can you give us some questions to ask so we can weed them out?

  • @MaryDunford
    @MaryDunford Před 8 měsíci +4

    I was curious if there was a difference. But yeah. The label really doesn't matter. Both are garbage people who make life miserable if given the chance. Drop them.
    A bit off topic.. but when you brought up the guns, I couldn't help but think, "Is that a gloc, or are you just happy to see me?" 😂

  • @Kristel280
    @Kristel280 Před 7 měsíci +1

    Why am I calling my mother as soon as she gets off work? I feel a lot of anxiety when talking to her. But I am usually the one initiating contact. It used to be the other way around.

  • @tommiller3017
    @tommiller3017 Před 8 měsíci +2

    Precisely my reaction. What difference does it make?

  • @patvass3019
    @patvass3019 Před 8 měsíci +2

    Kevin, I see your phone consultations apply to the US only, not Canada. If the reason for that is due to the cost of an international call, my phone plan includes free North America calling. Would me calling you be a possibility?

    • @TheRoyalWe
      @TheRoyalWe  Před 8 měsíci

      Absolutely, please schedule. I would love to speak with you

  • @poopfart29
    @poopfart29 Před 7 měsíci

    thank you ❤

  • @AmandaMcDonald-hn8ll
    @AmandaMcDonald-hn8ll Před 8 měsíci +2

    Thanks!

  • @kellyanndean9374
    @kellyanndean9374 Před 8 měsíci +7

    My husband is controlling,and verbally abusive!.so this is my question?is he a narcissist?or just a ass!hole!?also he has ADD,so please let me know,if he is just a mental case!?

    • @69judge27
      @69judge27 Před 8 měsíci

      HE'S A HEMORRHOID AT THE VERY LEAST 😎🎸

    • @Missybella92227
      @Missybella92227 Před 8 měsíci +2

      I watched Dr. Rahmani and Surviving Narcissism on CZcams. Both are in the clinical field.
      Narcs have certain characteristics/behaviors.

    • @kellyhewittangleberger1557
      @kellyhewittangleberger1557 Před 8 měsíci +3

      mine isn't controlling, but is very condescending and makes rude comments under his breath to me all the time. I am sorry because I know how bad this feels. Honestly, it makes me feel terrible about myself. The thing I have come to realize it that it is something broken in him. A person who is content and happy doesn't feel the need to control and demean others. Hang in there. Do you tell him when he's saying inappropriate things?

    • @kellyanndean9374
      @kellyanndean9374 Před 8 měsíci +3

      @@kellyhewittangleberger1557 not usually,but if he triggers my anxiety,,i fight back!i will not!put up with any verbal abuse,if he picks a argument with me,i will not be pushed into a corner,i fight back!

    • @Anonymous-wh4ez
      @Anonymous-wh4ez Před 8 měsíci

      Dr Ramani is good on narcissism. Here she is on the differences between that and ADHD (ADD and ADHD are now called ADHD): czcams.com/video/RB6gV14eir8/video.htmlsi=LBYng4GCiFE8Fhr7

  • @Blessed591
    @Blessed591 Před 8 měsíci

    Too true . . .

  • @privateprivate8366
    @privateprivate8366 Před 5 měsíci

    Docs and enablers feel they have the clincher, when it’s an aging narcissist though. They’ll tell you to accommodate, instead of diagnosing, what you’re not qualified to diagnose. Sometimes, I think that, behind it is simply, “Well, SOMEBODY has to care for and feed the beasts and you’re it!”
    That said, there is no such thing as some doctor telling me what I need to tolerate, from anyone. That there, is my decision. If no one likes it, they can step in and be a punching bag or chew toy.
    As Little Shaman said, you don’t have to have a diagnosis, to know to get out of there. You don’t need approval from others and that includes legal authorities. While they VERY MUCH want to remind you that that nut is family, insinuating that you have some forever obligation to them, no matter the consequences, you’d better think on your own. Because the legal authorities have no problem at all, with your case of abuse, becoming a murder case. They’ll probably just blame the victim for not leaving, once they’re dead. If you’re lucky, you’re simply making life more interesting, than their mundane cases, if your death is interesting at all, for a fleeting moment.
    For my mother, although I felt she had NPD, when I looked at the criteria, you can be sure I wanted to be sure. I considered the intricacies and consciousness of her behavior. That this woman who may have some early stage of “dementia” had no problem strategizing against me and paying her bills. She had no problem knowing that she wanted to be abusive, as opposed to being taken to a psychotherapist or neurologist. That she was in control of what she did and did not want to do. She absolutely knew who she wanted to hurt, which was me and it was unwavering and not some intermittent or unsure effort. I feel reassured of my decision to leave, because I still come across emails, from around the time I left and have shown a couple to other people. Knew how to use a computer and tap out a completely normal email. What dementia? Even when police snatched her up and took her to the psych unit, they’re calling me, to try to figure out what’s going on, because they couldn’t come up with a problem, other than her not wanting them to diagnose her.
    So, as the meme goes, “Stop making excuses for people. They know EXACTLY what they’re doing!”

  • @shawnr6801
    @shawnr6801 Před 8 měsíci +2

    Yep…..