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Narcissistic or just a jerk
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- čas přidán 3. 12. 2023
- Narcissistic abuse is an undeniable crisis. Discover Healing, Empowerment, and Authentic Living...
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The Royal We has helped Millions to escape the grip of narcissistic abuse. Here’s a deeper look into what narcissistic abuse looks like and steps to heal from it:
Narcissistic abuse looks like:
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often show little to no empathy for others, making it easy for them to manipulate and exploit. Narcissists use various tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and devaluation to control and dominate their victims.
Common Tactics Used in Narcissistic Abuse:
Gaslighting: Making the victim doubt their own reality and sanity.
Love Bombing: Showering the victim with excessive attention and affection to gain control.
Devaluation: Undermining the victim’s self-worth through criticism, belittling, and emotional neglect.
Isolation: Cutting the victim off from their support systems to increase dependency on the abuser.
Triangulation: Using others to create jealousy or competition, keeping the victim feeling insecure.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
How to begin healing from narcissistic abuse:
Understand that you have been enduring narcissistic abuse. This awareness is the first step toward healing.
Get Help:
Work with The Royal We to get the tools to understand and process your experiences. Visit - www.jointheroyalwe.com
Establish No Contact or Low Contact:
Limit or completely cut off communication with the narcissistic abuser. This helps you gain emotional distance and begin your healing journey.
Rebuild Your Self-Esteem:
Engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-worth. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who value and respect you.
Educate Yourself:
Learn about narcissistic abuse and its effects. Knowledge is empowering and can help you recognize patterns and avoid future toxic relationships.
Practice Self-Care:
Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to your recovery.
Set Boundaries:
Develop and maintain healthy boundaries in all your relationships.
Connect with others who have experienced narcissistic abuse. Join The Royal We Support Group - theroyalwe.kartra.com/page/ynE48
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Literally the message I've needed for almost a year now. It doesn't matter if she is a narcissist, dismissive avoidant , emotionally unavailable, promiscuous woman. It' doesn't matter. All that matters is that they aren't right for me. There is no point in putting a label on it. Abuse is abuse no matter how it's labeled.
I did say this before the end of the video, he said it too.
@@rickymartin859Hola, Ricky Martin! Thank you. The last sentence said it all, "abuse is abuse no matter how its labeled". Gracias!
Whoever makes you feel bad on a daily basis is not good for you
I dont know what he is but his Who doesnt align with me ,I have dumped him,best thing I did
I get this completely. But married since 18yrs old and I feel that I'll never make it alone. For a ton of reasons. I'm 47 and lost 😢
This is exactly the conclusion I came to. If the end result is the same, who cares about the label?
Exactly!!
19:30 You are so right. One of the most evil aspects of narcissists or aholes or abusers in general is that they ruin you for other people so that you are too drained and depleted to be healthy enough to show up fully for your true loved ones. Because you end up using all your energy and attention on the abuser instead of spending your energy on the people who truly deserve your love, care, devotion, stewardship, empathy, and help. Truly sinister. And of course they are able to twist the narrative and say, "Don't blame me for blah blah it's not fair to blame me for all your problems blah blah blah I didn't do anything bla bla bla you're the one who chose to blah blah blah free will blah blah blah."
I've called my partner of 40÷ years an asshole for decades and feel stupid for staying with him for so long. I just discovered narcissisium personality disorder this year and it shocked me because it sounds exactly like him. The physical and emotional abuse I have endured has been bad. I want to leave, but he always threatens me with endless things he will do to me. Asshole or narcissist, they are both from the same mold.
I feel this I why
Ross Rosenburg
Advices
"Run but run quietly!"
I label unhealthy, unhealthy. Abuse is abuse.
Neglect is neglect.
Rude is rude.
Selfish is selfish.
Immaturity is immaturity.
Thank you, Kevin, for speaking plainly about the bottom line.
*to anyone here, I believe you know what is “right” behavior and what is “wrong”.
Yes
You’re so spot on. Been studying narcissists (assholes) for 5 years now. My life has been FULL of them and is still currently.
I just want to encourage YOU! I just love you! You are doing a great work for the Lord!
"Been studying assholes" 😭🤣🤣🤣 since I was born... Thanks Dad!😃👍🏽🤣
"Do you want to be around them" is such a good phrase to ask myself. My heart knows the answer, but society always expects us to stick around and not give in, especially where family is concerned. If your insides feel uneasy with their behaviour you mustn't spend any more time around them
One by one I've had to basically get rid of my three siblings of the last decade at 50-yrs old. I didn't even realize I was a scapegoat until my mid-40s when I had an elderly man overhear me and said "Ahh.. you're the scapegoat!" That was a game-changer because I started to look up that word and realized that that's how I've been in passive aggressive and sometimes aggressive ways my whole entire life versus my other siblings.
I now only talk to my 81 year old parents and it's only because there's a financial situation. But I have a good feeling that they've been a root of all of it and actually see a lot of proof of some of their sabotage here and there myself.
But I moved away two decades ago by 2300 mi away and it's so much easier. It's just that their mask didn't slip off until it was almost too late and it slipped off for too long.
I don't even talk about this topic unless someone else hints that they might be a fellow scapegoat because too many people are into this Cult of Family nonsense.
Thanks for quoting Kevin's rhetorical question there... I hate to say it, but I can't unsee what I saw with them before and I'm not going to put myself through that again at this rate
I feel like newer generations are better at that because they don't have as much blind obedience and respect
All you need to know is you deserve better.
Nearly 8 years ago I was accused by my narcissistic dad of being a selfish smartacilc. I was just copying my codependent mother who was the ass hole. I kicked them both out of my life finally at my age of 59.... Then I started watching these and learning from these CZcams, podcasts about narcissistic behavior and I started cleaning house... and I'm not done. Thank you Kevin!
Are you sure we didn't have the same parents?
A jerk is just a slang term. I hate when people say MaYbE tHeY'rE jUsT a JeRk. Define jerk. It's just another term for evil.
They both have mean spirits.
Thirty years… one year out hallelujah!!! ❤
I wanna be there too
wow this just made me realize my 30 year marriage has just been abusive - labels or not - thanks
Thank you! Finally someone else know the difference.Assholes are direct but a narc wear a mask
I smile for my ex Narc husband used the term jerk to MINIMIZE his behaviors. they were far more insidious and cruel and terrifying. I took note and said nothing. I was already one foot out the door planning my exit. I ran after only 10 months married. I heard myself saying " you are very unhealthy for me"
Absolutely correct. It doesn't matter. Toxic is toxic. Walk away.
I agree. No need to overthink or diagnose. Just fix the problem. 👍
TRUTH!!!! 👏👏👏 man, I just think how many years we’ve all been abused by narcissists and then when we finally break free and begin our healing, we spend even more of our time diagnosing our abusers …. STOP IT! lol My focus is now on ME! Thanks Kevin for yet another wisdom nugget in this journey!!! God Bless! 🙏🏻
I have literally come to this conclusion today (13 Dec ) ..... the timing of this is spot-on
I think if you have been in narcissistic relationship you are qualified to speak about it 😢
Yep, we're experts.
Don't pride yourself on being a problem "solver" with abusers and instead become a problem LEAVER.
If it's not your mess then DON'T CLEAN IT UP. PERIOD.
If you want to be a help to your community THEN GO PICK UP TRASH ON THE BEACH DON'T KEEP BRINGING THE TRASH HOME TO YOUR SHEETS!!!!!
@@PassionateFlowerThat's excellent advice and I'm pleased to inform you that I got rid of the ex, who messed up my already sullied situation even more with his garbage, so stick to picking up rubbish on my way home instead, which goes in the bin!
I always make sure that I wear a glove, or gloves, though, because I've had to deal some types of rubbish I won't mention now. ☺
Shapeshifters. CHAMELEONS AND NARCOPATHS. Stay educated AND Dedicated. Due time..❤❤❤
Wow! Synchronic...I was speaking with my therapist and I recently came to this conclusion! I started calling them as they are, with sounding like attempting to diagnose them. I said my most major depressive episodes stemmed from a lifetime of being surrounded by A$$holes and now that I realized my worth toxic abusers can't be allowed in my life!! A healthier version of me can't co-exist with their abusive ways in my life. FIN 🙏
Thank you Kevin for your great analysed advice. I agree with everything you said. Abuse and disrespect are the closure we need. Once people show us who they are we should believe them the first time. We can only control ourselves and we should walk away from people who do not see us, hear us or celebrate us let alone those you abuse and harm us?! We do not owe abusive people anything, not even a word. Our walking away says it all! God bless you❤
The abuse is apparent to only me. Sadly, if she were anyone else but the daughter I loved since the day I confirmed my pregnancy, I would have cut ties long ago. I’m 67 and now that I’ve learned a bit about narcissism and realized how very subtle the abuse is, I know what I have to do. 😢 If I’m going to survive I need to go no contact. She’s 50. She will be just fine.
So why tolerate bad behavior? I have decided to not tolerate bad behavior from anyone, including myself. From this day forward. Your either going to be a true person, trying to do your best , or don't waste my time. Time is our only commodity that is ours. To do what we want with it. No more giving it away to time wasters. I've got things I want to do, for whatever reason , They're important to ME xx !
I enjoyed my dinner while listening to you. Love a man who speaks in full sentences, can make me laugh and think.....❤ You are insanely perfect company.
I was horribly tortured. Father was sexually abusive and beat me, mother beat me, caused a schism between the siblings. I was choked to near death, suffocated with pillows, denied food, sent outside to sit on the porch in freezing cold weather, forced to kneel upright all night long (denied sleep) sisters were given the right to tattle on me and one was allowed to strike me the back because my mother was too tired to finish the job. My oldest sister took great pleasure in this. She used to watch me get these beatings with absolute joy in her eyes. Throughout all of this I did nothing wrong because I was told by the nuns “suffer little children to come to me.” According to the nuns, if my parents beat me it was ‘cause Jesus loved me and saw me as worthy to enter heaven. Believe me, I wanted to die. When I reached the age of 17 I left and never returned. So when I the scapegoat, left they had to find another one, and that was my younger sister. For all of my suffering I continued to be beat up by other people telling me: “you must have done something wrong.” When I went to live with my secondary relatives, and they knew of my plight, they too abused me. Not as bad, but it was disheartening. When I married my first husband he was verbally abusive. I divorced him. My second husband’s father was mean to me and my husband. My second husband was/is verbally abusive. He seeing mental health doctor right now. Probably because I told him get help or I leave. Through all of this I managed to obtain a graduate college degree. I am the only one in the family that has one. And for this I am demeaned as having no common sense and that I’m a Communist. Jealously abounds. So instead of being praised for my academic efforts I’m being slammed again by my jealous in-laws. I don’t smoke, drink alcohol, don’t gamble, or sell my body EVER, yet I am being labeled as “bad” by my immediate family,which I don’t see anymore, or I’m lacking common sense. I keep away from my husband’s family too. One more thing: I’m deaf, and I’m labeled as dumb. Hardly. Kiss my ass is what I feel like saying to them.
My narc was a Silent treatment king!!
They love doing that.
The more you discern, you finally realize you have come to a situation you never sign up for to begin with. The adamant nature of the abuse makes you realize that it is NOT in human nature, either. Think about the suffering it causes so many innocent individuals. Thank you for the insightful revelation, Kevin. God bless you abundantly 🙏🏻🎉
Labels don't matter! Powerful and Profoundly simple fact! While your sitting there trying to figure out what they are so you can put them in a box they have already sealed your box thrown you in the post and written on you post to Timbuktu.
Let's have a non toxic Christmast.
I really miss the Royal We Fellowship. I wish you’d bring it back ❤️
I want the live chats!
This is hopeful for me. I'm gonna save this and listen to it whenever I make excuses to stay. Thank you. God bless you.
The title confused me cuz my 1st thought was: "Well, isn't a CHRONIC asshole the same thing as a narcissist? 🤷🏾♂️" Cuz we the length the time/consistentcy of the asshole's 🙎🏻♂️assholery is what --- to me --- distinguishes a person having a very bad-moment-in-time, as WE ALL DO, from a person for whom being an asshole 👿 is their normal "resting state" of existence.
Oh Kevin! I love your “doesn’t have to be so complicated “ approach. We get to decide how to deal with our narcissistic people, but just do it.
Absolutely!
Your timing could not have been better .... just came to this conclusion today (13 DEC) about these types of people; love your channel, much love from the UK
OMG THANK YOU SOOO VERY MUCH KEVIN
CLEAN CUT, CLARITY
Been with someone who has increased of late yells mocks belittles NEGLECTS , it slowly crept up to point now Im having terrible shaky anxiety by time he gets home in my sleep screaming out for help . Some how subconsciously thinking maybe it was because I reacted certain way made things worse , Im not a mouse I stand up for myself but lately over and beyond my mind (logic) and seeing through it , my body seems to be breaking down my speech sometines talking with other people just talking and not making sense almost ,cant quite explain , feeling almost breaking into thousands of pieces in my actual body .my mind know s whats going but my body is reacting
Im stuck financially have made preparation to leave in a year or so saving up . Then leave and be alone in an abyss. Afraid will never meet anyone getting older lost alot through a business venture nothing to offer into relationship Material wise. Hopefully I still have lots of love to offer, I'm sure I do, scared though will end up with another Ass....e!
Thank you again for your candidness so liberating 💚from Australia
Jude
H proudly proclaims he’s an AH. With no curiosity or self reflection. His words. He thinks it’s his get out of jail free card. But his words became my get out of jail card. Not cost free but definitely out.
Glock has hair pin trigger.
A Ruger has a stiff pull.
Seek cover from both!
Love ❤it👍🏽👍🏽
@@ERNIE555 😃
I am overjoyed and blessed i found you!!! 🙏 ❤ thank you!!
So glad my videos found you
Good video!! That's a great point 💚
I wasted close to 7 years trying to figure it out..
Now I know it doesn't matter & the only thing that does is that I keep my distance as much as possible so I can concentrate on me & my goals..
That isn't possible being around certain types of people
I think we want to put a label on it, so we make sure it was not us who where to sensitive
One of the best videos I've ever watched. Thanks Kevin. I suggest viewers take note from everything you've explained.
Kevin please keep your channel the same...its better than other channels re: this subject!
👍 The way you use of the word narcissist clearly resonates with those experiencing abuse. Perhaps the biblical term for narcissists is “the wicked”. Agree a great thought in considering an experience (paraphrasing) “are they a good fit for you?”. Are they truely there for you or just looking for opportunity to walk on you?
BTW in listening to one ”narcissist” credentialed expert, it seemed at the end of the day they had many labelled narcissistic - including many in professions and many who felt abused, and themselves reformed/reforming 🤔. It’s true though, narcissists connive and finger point very effectively, so yes look within ourselves for our own discernment. Perhaps if narcissists did that too rather then just looking outwardly in only how they can step on others for their esteem they might stop being narcissists.
Thank you for watching
Hey Kevin .. excellent video. IMHO ... probably your very best one. Thank you Sir, excellent content here. God bless you Kevin. ✝️🕊️🙌
Glad you enjoyed it
THANK YOU FOR YOUR DOWN TO EARTH "TRUTH".........
Your advice is always so sound and accurate. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. 🙏💜
I flippin love you and this video!! Thanks for the confirmation and laughs! God bless you!!
You are precisely qualified, that is why they are fear was triggered because they know this. The most affective leaders and guides are those that have been through it and have chose the light side and helping others. You cannot beat personal experience. Thank you from all of us and God bless you.
God bless you so so much, Kevin ❤
Lol ‘since realizing I’m dealing with a cluster B, the relationship has been great’! Lmao that’s funny. I needed a laugh today.
Personally, I completely understand why someone (in particular females) may want confirmation of whether someone is narcissistic or not. Reason being, when you ultimately make that decision to leave, it is comforting to know that it wasn't YOU who failed the relationship. That it was never about you. It was all about the narcissistic partner, and their inability to function as a supportive, involved partner not only with you, but with anyone. This leaves you in a marginally less broken state than the narcissistic person reduced you to. So I humbly disagree that it's not important to know whether the partner was narcissistic, or just an @-hole. Furthermore, someone who was an @-hole to you for 10 years straight is quite obviously on the narcissistic spectrum. Consistency in behaviour is the key. 10 years of @-hole behaviour is pretty consistent, so if you did not cause said behaviour in some way, shape or form, you are most certainly dealing with a narcissistic individual. I'm not saying that he has NPD, but he'll be high in other narcissistic traits as well, no doubt, and most certainly had a dysfunctional childhood, guaranteed.
P.S, all narcissists are @-holes, and I am yet to meet an @-hole who is not high in narcissistic traits. Again, consistency in behaviour is the key, but generally @-holes are @-holes to everybody consistently, unless they want something from them, or unless they're interacting with their boss (who can fire them). In the aforementioned case they'll slag their boss off behind his/her back.
I like the way you think because it resonates with me!
One of your best! Mcfly and Biff!
😂 I love you Kevin ! Sheer brilliance ! My life is a misery for long time , I studied psychology ,survived most of the stuff you talk about in my childhood,marriage ,parenthood etc and STAYED TOO LONG...tried to fix , help, do the right thing, and remain me...damages are plenty and many could have been avoided if I left sooner, if if if if....Black and white, right and wrong are the concepts of the mind. Clear mind ! Abuse causes emotional turmoil which floods the mind and disables clarity of thought ! Keep doing what you are doing, speaking to the minds in clear messages.Wonderful approach and a huge help for lost souls with shattered hearts and flooded frozen minds ! You are such a tonic,a warm cup of coffee , a friend ! Thank you! Mish
👏👏👏thank you Kevin for this message
You just described my brother.
So good. So much of what my rumination has been lately. Thanks. For the layman. Truth. 😂😂😂😂
Please speak on the ageing and the Dying narcissists
they're perpetrators of the cycle of abuse...that was key...over and over the's no way out if you t
Awesome video Kevin 👏👏👏
Brilliant, so good to hear ❤
Amen brother! Bless you and this message 🙏
This was an interesting thought for sure.
Is there any way to make the narcissist understand why you left ? Always blaming me. I try to explain. They just don’t get it
there is no closure. move on and live YOUR life
You would be better off explaining to a brick wall. I spent over 25 years with a narcissist and like an idiot I kept thinking one day he would understand. Hard to accept, but better for your sanity if you can accept that.
They literally set up goal posts in their brain, and whatever you try to get past that goal line they will deflect it away every time. They don't want to hear what you say, so they literally don't listen to it
@@TerminatrixT3why don't you leave them!?then?
It would be exactly the same as someone trying to convince you that 2+2=5. The idea that they do anything wrong is inconceivable and means they have to die. Literally.
Great video Kevin! Please keep a current playlist of all your videos new to old... Youtibe always takes me to another channel's video at the end. I just want to binge watch your videos. You help everybody with your truthbombs. Thank you Kevin.
It does not matter. Label it anything that helps. Give up consensus or respect or closure. They won't see it any different today than they have all the earlier days. Because it's not possible. Mechanically. THEY have to do their part, and they will not. For whatever reason. The issue is, how to take care of yourself.
"Whatever Path is out there" 😂😂😂
Kevin, you made my day! Astonishingly good!!!Thank you, you're genius :) I needed it today, I'll be different from now on... Awesome, I tell you, everything you're trying to explain us...👍👍👍❤️❤️❤️
Thank you
i assumed it was the same thing.
I prayed God to bless you. Thank you so so so much for this video. You are so awesom
This is amazing, absolutely spot on , wow ❤thank you so much for your time and energy in helping people .
Thanks for covering this question! Good answer. :)
Great message! Amazing TRUTH ❤🙏
21:00
Kev I have a stepdaughter that is both an asshole and narcissists. She always treated my wife disrespectful and now they want to come and freeload for Christmas diner. What should I do. They live in another state and I avoid them like the plague. I just feel bad for my wife that wants to be with her grandkids that this asshole have. Any tips am just going to ignored them while they are in my home. Thanks for your videos
Just place yourself in a happy glass bubble while she's there. Watching your wife enjoy your grandchildren is all that you need to stay happy in that situation. Have a joyful Pollyanna attitude, that's what I try to do. The children are what's important, that relative of yours is not important in any way. She doesn't dictate Christmas, you do, because you have the spirit of Christmas ❤
@@TerminatrixT3 Yes and the shit is the same when I take my wife to see the grandkids I don’t say shit to them. They will never change
Your channel is great ❤
Great message
Thank you
My friend's ex at our casino in Queens N.Y.talks to no one except my husband, supposidely He is aloof,condescending,circles my friend like a vulture subtly trying to control her,and she is the classic"gray rock" persona. Is her ex a narcissist or a jerk?
Gosh Kevin I love this vid of yours the best ever! U r great. Can you coach me please?
Yes I can
❤Thank you ❤
great video!!!!
Very good video:)❤
Good call.
I WANT TO GET EVEN
ANYONE ELSE?
Oh,yes!!💯%👍any suggestions?
I know your struggle. I got even. Problem is that the feeling doesn't last and you'll want to get even over and over and over again, because he'll just brush it off and look like he's enjoying himself with his new life. And you'll look like a deranged ex partner. That's what happened to me.
So learn from me, it doesn't work.
What DOES work (as I found out by accident and by personal experience) is completely ignoring them. They can't deal with it, they start to panic, they start to overthink, even if they have a new girlfriend. They can't stop dwelling on why you're okay without them. That's when they'll go behind their girlfriend's back and contact you. And that's when you tell them you have a boyfriend (even if you don't). They'll probably not contact you again quickly after that, but they'll be so disregulated that they'll go behind their girlfriend's back and start contacting every ex they ever had in order to feel valued Lol. Let them destroy themselves
@@kellyanndean9374
Kick their $&#?!#
and then $&-#;!
after that, have a nice day! 😃
@@VMM34 LOL !! 😂😄
I cant think of anything that would make things even-steven. Im too busy trying to recover.
I went "no contact" too. Only its with a brother. I consider him the walking dead. He gets to live his miserable life without a sister.
I don't think he's going crazy missing me, and Im not missing him, he's the walking dead.
I now understand how some people end up killing someone. I hated being brought to that depth of emotion. I never want to feel that way again, so 'no contact" is best.
The only way to do that is by leaving, thriving and pretend they never existed. They REALLY hate that.
Ohh how I enjoy you. LOL at the 20:05 ish🤣
The narcissist has no empathy. No empathy means not listening to anything . Narcissists are dismissive. Narcissists can not cry. They absolutely can not cry. They can not accept responsibility for what they do. The best weapon is neglect.
I 💯 have to agree with, no matter the label, abuse is abuse‼️
However...
I have to ask ,is it not true that a jerk could change and admit faults, when doing marriage counselling ,or any counselling for that matter.
Where as a narc, is basically incapable of change, because of their absence of empathy, and because their way has always worked for them, so why would they want to change?
When they can simply move on to the next supply and start All over again, and so on and so on...
Until they die alone and miserable
@bronwynsimons7028 It's a fact that some highly narcissistic people can do healing work on childhood trauma wounds, then change toxic behaviour and Dr Mark Ettensohn, who has a channel called Heal NPD is having success in this area!
It's highly unlikely though and most of the "jerks," or "a**holes," aren't going to easily agree to change their ways either.
Another point is that many of them don't die alone because a lot of long-term "partners" choose not to leave, or aren't able to do so, among other reasons. 😊
I loved Back to the future!michael j.fox,,was awesome!
I want to know how to spot before we get involved. Can you give us some questions to ask so we can weed them out?
I was curious if there was a difference. But yeah. The label really doesn't matter. Both are garbage people who make life miserable if given the chance. Drop them.
A bit off topic.. but when you brought up the guns, I couldn't help but think, "Is that a gloc, or are you just happy to see me?" 😂
Why am I calling my mother as soon as she gets off work? I feel a lot of anxiety when talking to her. But I am usually the one initiating contact. It used to be the other way around.
Precisely my reaction. What difference does it make?
Kevin, I see your phone consultations apply to the US only, not Canada. If the reason for that is due to the cost of an international call, my phone plan includes free North America calling. Would me calling you be a possibility?
Absolutely, please schedule. I would love to speak with you
thank you ❤
Thanks!
My husband is controlling,and verbally abusive!.so this is my question?is he a narcissist?or just a ass!hole!?also he has ADD,so please let me know,if he is just a mental case!?
HE'S A HEMORRHOID AT THE VERY LEAST 😎🎸
I watched Dr. Rahmani and Surviving Narcissism on CZcams. Both are in the clinical field.
Narcs have certain characteristics/behaviors.
mine isn't controlling, but is very condescending and makes rude comments under his breath to me all the time. I am sorry because I know how bad this feels. Honestly, it makes me feel terrible about myself. The thing I have come to realize it that it is something broken in him. A person who is content and happy doesn't feel the need to control and demean others. Hang in there. Do you tell him when he's saying inappropriate things?
@@kellyhewittangleberger1557 not usually,but if he triggers my anxiety,,i fight back!i will not!put up with any verbal abuse,if he picks a argument with me,i will not be pushed into a corner,i fight back!
Dr Ramani is good on narcissism. Here she is on the differences between that and ADHD (ADD and ADHD are now called ADHD): czcams.com/video/RB6gV14eir8/video.htmlsi=LBYng4GCiFE8Fhr7
Too true . . .
Docs and enablers feel they have the clincher, when it’s an aging narcissist though. They’ll tell you to accommodate, instead of diagnosing, what you’re not qualified to diagnose. Sometimes, I think that, behind it is simply, “Well, SOMEBODY has to care for and feed the beasts and you’re it!”
That said, there is no such thing as some doctor telling me what I need to tolerate, from anyone. That there, is my decision. If no one likes it, they can step in and be a punching bag or chew toy.
As Little Shaman said, you don’t have to have a diagnosis, to know to get out of there. You don’t need approval from others and that includes legal authorities. While they VERY MUCH want to remind you that that nut is family, insinuating that you have some forever obligation to them, no matter the consequences, you’d better think on your own. Because the legal authorities have no problem at all, with your case of abuse, becoming a murder case. They’ll probably just blame the victim for not leaving, once they’re dead. If you’re lucky, you’re simply making life more interesting, than their mundane cases, if your death is interesting at all, for a fleeting moment.
For my mother, although I felt she had NPD, when I looked at the criteria, you can be sure I wanted to be sure. I considered the intricacies and consciousness of her behavior. That this woman who may have some early stage of “dementia” had no problem strategizing against me and paying her bills. She had no problem knowing that she wanted to be abusive, as opposed to being taken to a psychotherapist or neurologist. That she was in control of what she did and did not want to do. She absolutely knew who she wanted to hurt, which was me and it was unwavering and not some intermittent or unsure effort. I feel reassured of my decision to leave, because I still come across emails, from around the time I left and have shown a couple to other people. Knew how to use a computer and tap out a completely normal email. What dementia? Even when police snatched her up and took her to the psych unit, they’re calling me, to try to figure out what’s going on, because they couldn’t come up with a problem, other than her not wanting them to diagnose her.
So, as the meme goes, “Stop making excuses for people. They know EXACTLY what they’re doing!”
Yep…..