Narcissistic Abuse Is Warfare
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- čas přidán 9. 12. 2023
- Narcissistic abuse is an undeniable crisis. Discover Healing, Empowerment, and Authentic Living...
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The Royal We has helped Millions to escape the grip of narcissistic abuse. Here’s a deeper look into what narcissistic abuse looks like and steps to heal from it:
Narcissistic abuse looks like:
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often show little to no empathy for others, making it easy for them to manipulate and exploit. Narcissists use various tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and devaluation to control and dominate their victims.
Common Tactics Used in Narcissistic Abuse:
Gaslighting: Making the victim doubt their own reality and sanity.
Love Bombing: Showering the victim with excessive attention and affection to gain control.
Devaluation: Undermining the victim’s self-worth through criticism, belittling, and emotional neglect.
Isolation: Cutting the victim off from their support systems to increase dependency on the abuser.
Triangulation: Using others to create jealousy or competition, keeping the victim feeling insecure.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
How to begin healing from narcissistic abuse:
Understand that you have been enduring narcissistic abuse. This awareness is the first step toward healing.
Get Help:
Work with The Royal We to get the tools to understand and process your experiences. Visit - www.jointheroyalwe.com
Establish No Contact or Low Contact:
Limit or completely cut off communication with the narcissistic abuser. This helps you gain emotional distance and begin your healing journey.
Rebuild Your Self-Esteem:
Engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-worth. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who value and respect you.
Educate Yourself:
Learn about narcissistic abuse and its effects. Knowledge is empowering and can help you recognize patterns and avoid future toxic relationships.
Practice Self-Care:
Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to your recovery.
Set Boundaries:
Develop and maintain healthy boundaries in all your relationships.
Connect with others who have experienced narcissistic abuse. Join The Royal We Support Group - theroyalwe.kartra.com/page/ynE48
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"If you are not for me all the way, you are against me.". NO reasoning. NO middle ground. Completely unreasonable.
And completely insane 😢
They're always victims, it's how they'll keep functioning! Their the only ones with such problems, we all need to hear about them when actually fix your own problems, it's how they get fixed! We fight and argue with them until enough is enough cuz nothing is solved/resolved cuz it's them whom want it as such, pretty helpless situations!
Yesss, this. I’ve been dealing with so many people just like this. I just want to get my head straight and focus on the end goal but they want me to pay attention to them. And if I don’t want anything to do with them, then I become some kind of adversary to them.
I’ve got soo many people messing with me like this. Some people are trying to blackmail me, some people are trying to subvert me through my exes, etc.
Good timing because I was as just thinking about how theres a war going on in the world and these people don’t take things seriously.
Only a Sith deals in absolutes - Revenge of the Sith 😉
@@KingCharles3000they all trash.
In my experience, jealous rage is at the heart of narcissism.
No, greed is. Nacissists are *proactive* agressive greedy/loveless, adulterers and fornicators.
33Wounds and dishonor will befall him, and his reproach will never be wiped away. 34For jealousy enrages a *husband* , and he will show no mercy in the day of vengeance. 35He will not be appeased by any ransom, or persuaded by lavish gifts.…
Correct
It is still hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that a full grown person can be jealous of teeny tiny child :( Had a breakthrough about a month ago and finally remembered what my mother used to do. She'd follow me around the house and SCREAM in my face about her life problems. Starting when I was 7. I was a TINY girl, too. I'd try to get away and hide, she'd follow me and pull stuff off me I'd try to hide under. I've been 'running away' my entire life, and finally realizing why.
Pure hatred and contempt. It’s the only feeling/energy that they know. They can pretend to be gregarious, and even loving, for brief periods of time… But their reality always shows through eventually.
@@SaltyShaman you should never have to go through that! My daughters mother is borderline, less malicious, as far as things go on the cluster B, Spectrum, but extremely histrionic. Everything is fake, and she pretends to be so deeply feeling, emotional and spiritual… But then she acts in the world with absolute hatred and contempt, including for her clients, when they are not actually around. Makes me sick to my stomach to know these people are out there everywhere, and they will absolutely twist and abuse their own children and use them as food.
Thank you!!! WAR IS EXACTLY how I would call my life for YEARS now.
I so wish I had understood that I was under attack most of my life. I would have made better, more healthy decisions.
Demonic warfare, yes. 2 Timothy 3. We are in the last hours.
Stay strong and may GOD bless and keep you ❤
Yes!!! My mother since I was 4 years old…married at 18 years old to get a way from her , YET, he was just the male version of my mother (my Dad was killed in a motorcycle accident when I was 11 years old), then divorced him after 13 years of marriage, and had a life on and off except when my narc mother would have excuses that she needed my help, cos she wasn’t in good health, blah blah..gave up two great jobs to take care of her and her passive husband(I will not call him a step dad for anything)…she has done nothing but rag, abuse, and bad mouth me to my kids, my friends, and all because 7 years ago I quit giving in to her, BUT, she’s only gotten worse….I’ve only hated two people in my life, my ex husband and my mother……I’m 62 years young…..I will not cry at her funeral.
That was exactly what my childhood was like. The main battlefield was the kitchen but the conflict spilled everywhere else, i.e. there was no safe place, neither the toilets, nor the bathroom, nor the attic, nor the garden, nor the garage...
I was at a work place where people complained about me. When I asked for descriptions of my behavior so I could listen and change, my accusers couldn't give me any detail. It was crazy.
I hope you left my friend!
I have been there and you will never be given a true answer. You will get things that are minors and can be corrected.
@@4514rooster when they are confronted they go into
A RAGE.
Never ever ever will they give specifics! It’s only “oh I don’t like his energy“. Coming from a female, it’s such a blanket statement and people interpret that as “well, if she’s scared of him, then he must be some kind of bad person, perpetrator, etc.“ when you’ve never done a single thing that was Mean, threatening, over the top, obnoxious, etc. It’s one of these things that people used to just cut your legs out from underneath you and there’s no way to defend or block the attack! Especially because they won’t ever stay to your face, especially not the front of another manager. or family member.
My "work place" is caring for my paraplegic daughter. We got another caregiver who is obsessed with my daughter and her home! She wants 100% control of everything! She gaslights me several times a day. I wish I could leave that situation, but I need to be there for my daughter.. I decorated my daughter's house for Christmas, and she would remove or add a figurine.. She constantly hides things to make me seem like my memory is going, then brings them out later and says, Look! I found the...
She is the worst case of covert narcissism I've ever seen! My daughter is codependent, so she fits right into the things pushed on her. She has managed to draw in every single family member, so if anything comes up, they side with her because she's able to manipulate so well.
I don't know how to escape this in my situation. I've never felt so defeated.. My other daughter came to visit for 2 weeks. When she was walking out the door, this woman says, I love you! So my daughter says back, I love you too! They're strangers! I love you?
I could write a book on what this woman has done, is doing..
They are so pathetic and cowardly they can only win their War if their victims don't know they are engaged in a battle. They are shooting fish in a barrel and think of themselves as highly skilled hunters. Well, this fish bit off the trigger finger and escaped the barrel.
They are pathetic
Hi, I'm Pisces. I got a stellium of planets there, not just my sun. 🐟🐠
Your comment really resonates with me.
One of your best ones Kevin! I've gone from the heartbreak of no-contact to graduating more in my understanding of spiritual warfare. There is a time to grieve, but then get back up and put on the full armor of God. We are at war indeed. Fortify yourself and get educated to fight the good fight. A lot of people don't realize how serious this is. It's so much more than just a psychological disorder. It's spiritual warfare in every day life.
Я чувствую тоже самое! Я не одна! Спасибо!
Truth!
Yeah, this is good! No hold barred. I really love Richard Grannan as well, especially when he gets into more of the philosophy, side of things, literature, etc. Psychology only goes so far. And often times with cluster B disorders, my belief is that you are dealing with literally demon possessed Bodies that the human/soul has gone out of or abandoned, partially or completely.
The real victim is dealing with pure evil.
Boy, did this video resonate with me. I have been under attack by family members my entire life. I did recognize it from an early age, and took steps to extricate myself from their abuse as soon as I was able to do so. Narcissists are a waste of time and energy; get out ASAP.
Same its so disgusting.
Same
I couldn't get away. Tried since age 18, she's always drag me back into the family somehow. Admitted a week before she died exactly what she had been doing her whole life, as well. She didn't apologize, just stated it.
🙏🕊
@@SaltyShaman My mother admitted some of it to me too before she died and she had that N sneer on her face while she did it too.
My doctor did the same to me before he retired.
So I've been told "you're being too sensitive" by a psychologist when I was crying my soul out.
(I got enraged but I managed it and replied):
"I'm not being too sensitive. I am sensitive, thank God.
Thing psychopaths and narcs lack!".
(He looked at me shocked).
Good for YOU! 👋👋👋
2/3 of therapists are narcs.
Thank God for his grace to know what to say at that moment and speak truth. These therapist are narcs themselves, they should be fired. Well done you😁. You're obviously self aware, strong and truly sensitive to Jesus voice. And probably have more wisdom, discernment and maturity than that therapist and 90% of people around you. I used to hear the same 'you're too sensitive' and then a new one on that 'don't take yourself too seriously' my response 'but I must as this concerns life and death for me so I would rather take it seriously now than regret it later' this always from churchy people especially when it involves a truth that happens to shed light on their dark lives, so they get uncomfortable. Now I knowingly laugh under my breath. But I will definitely use your response if need be🙏😀
Your therapist is a psycho there's a lot of them hidden in plain sight
It happens alot times that a victim of narcissist abuse as an adult was first primed to be a scapegoat as a kid. It's like a demon that has been following you around determined to make you the sacrifice on the altar of the ego. Also codependent on the narcissist. It gives them power to destroy you. You gotta be strong. You gotta overcome. It sucks but you can be happy once you claim your power over your own life and cut them offffff. It sucks believe me I know.
This was very well written from a spiritual standpoint. Narcissism is idol worship. The narc wants to be worshipped. I had to cut off my whole family.
amen, I'm currently healing it and it's so hard. It makes me feel guilty for everything, that I'm always wrong, that any self-expression is forbidden. A prayer of Noah Heins on youtube against narcissistic abuse helps so much.
It's not like a demon it is a demon!
What psychology calls narcissists are the Jezebel and Leviathan spirits working together to destroy you. They have legal rights through the bloodline.
The entire Bible is the story of the children of God and the children of Satan.
Wheat and tares.
@@mary.33 you gotta try to see and love yourself through God's eyes. Having good boundaries and doing some good ol shadow work where you take a good hard look within to find the answers to all the suffering is life changing. Just when you go within or when you think the thoughts of your mind weed out the negativity because the negativity is not good and it serves the devil. You have to understand that if you are accepting the negative then you are choosing to sit at the church of the devil and listen to the messages of death. Remember God said you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Everyone is human and unique in their own ways. That's the way it's supposed to maturity is the mindset that helps you to understand that. It's hard to embrace the accountability of our choices in thinking and accepting the accountability of the consequences of our actions but it is okay to be human and have flaws and make mistakes we all every single one of us are flawed. Me personally I realized that I was sitting around in a victim mentality and I was being very immature in my own perspective about my life. Through deep introspection and the help of my inner teacher sent by God in that still small voice I now understand what I just explained to you. I hope this helps. Sometimes I feel insecure about my ability to express myself but I hope you can find the wisdom of what I am telling you. God loves you and his wisdom is everywhere all you gotta do is have an open mind to search for it. He's always with you and around you. He will never leave you or forsake you ❤️ God loves you and so do I. Hugs
@@tammydoiel3918 so beautifully said! Thank you so much, really needed it! God bless you my friend!🙌🏻💗✨
Narcissists parents want their own children dead. Its so scary situation .Thanks for ur wisdom.
They truly are big pieces of 💩💩💩
Think you are sadly right.
Sad. It took me 40 years to see.
They don't kill us, would rather have us around to taunt and torture, all drama drama cuz they're dead inside and need much to stimulate them, they torture us for loving them, pretty sick 😷, stand clear and stay safe!
I was told they would give me money to move out after my gram I took care of for 2 years (dementia) passed away, they prolonged it and tortured/stalked/harassed me until I was finally made homeless, I was working two jobs construction all day then a restaurant from 5-9 I was literally working 14-15hr days 6 days a week and my only day to sleep in they would kick my door in and start ripping cabinets off the walls and demolition the whole place, I had no bathroom or kitchen they wouldn’t let me sleep they would constantly send contractors over, when I went back to get my things a lot of stuff was broken or missing, my own family was worse to me than anyone had ever been, threw me in the street after I cleaned their moms diapers for years
@@williambarringer6513 Hi! 😊 You’re a Kind man, that you took care of your Gram for two years before she died! It’s so wrong & terrible what they did to you - and they also made you Homeless, too!! It saddens me to hear that you were made Homeless! I care about the plight of the Homeless. You didn’t deserve what they did to you! You’re a hard-worker: two construction jobs, and a restaurant job. That’s alot of long hours, long work-days. They wouldn’t let you sleep, and demolished the place. They broke your stuff, and stuff was missing - that was evil. It sounds like they were heartless and hateful. I agree with you; your own family was worse to you than anyone had ever been! Shame on them! You didn’t deserve it! I’m saddened that you were Betrayed by your family! 😔. There are some good people in the world who do care. God bless you, William! It’s good that you found Kevin’s channel! Kevin’s channel is supportive & encouraging. I’m also glad that I found Kevin’s channel.❤️ God bless Kevin too! Sincerely, Victoria 😊
Left my husband today. I feel like i have survived warfare for 10 years. Im not sure where to begin now I'm free, but i do know how happy and light i feel
Congratulations on making a bold move and looking out for yourself. I hope you have a happy future in front of you.
@@websurfer5772 it's only been 5 days, seems like much longer and life is so much better already. Thank you for your good wishes
This is my life. The siblings who cannot do their dysfunction around me have now taken to complaining and assassinating my character to all the other family members. Now, very few talk to me and it’s so bad in their minds that I’m not even worth sending a Christmas card to. It’s heartbreaking and sickening.
Free and fabulous
That happened to me at age 59,
Both my adult siblings sisters, stop sending me Christmas cards and birthday cards, wouldn't take my phone calls because they were communicating gossiping with my folks, then acted on that gossip. But I am better eight years later. Then one of them died, and they had the nerve to call me.
If they didn't want me in their lives three years prior to that, too bad, they don't get me know .
It is better to be on your own knowing your value and wait for the real loving caring people to come along it will be worth it.
Send THEM a card every year of photos of you doing something fun or amazing ;)
@@koolbeans8292 it’s traumatic to be rejected by your family. Have you been able to replace those people with nicer folks in your life? Even though I know these people are disturbed I’m still traumatized by the rejection. I have a husband and kids and a few friends whom I try to focus on now.
I have a sister who requires everyone follows her plans. I see how others have to limit their opinion...parents say dont make an issue about it. It's just easier that way. I didn't like seeing this passive behaviour. Being told to limit my interactions with anyone in my family denotes there is an Isolating principle being enforced.
Its a disempowering maneuver that doesn't permit the expression of one's own feelings or perspectives.
Because if they did...it would mean having the controlling person would need to adjust their behavior to demonstrate that they are not preventing assertive actions of the other individual.
My narcissist sister wants me dead. She has attempted to turn family members against me. She hates me. I would have to agree that narc abuse is warfare.
We must understand this in order to fight for our lives.
So true what you don't acknowledge you can't heal from. Same with me with my sister, that's why the word says to guard your heart. If you ever feel down just Google Dean Braxton's heaven testimony. That's what we have coming 😊😊😊
🙏❤️
me, too....its such a shocking realization to accept. You are not alone.
My mother tried to destroy me. I have not spoken to her for 12 years now. She has no idea where I live. Run!!! These people are very dangerous. Love and peace always. ❤
❤@@teresadias8370
I totally agree with you Kevin. Narcissistic abuse is warfare. I have been at war my entire life and the last six years have been so hard it is mind bending. Thank you 🙏 for your help and support Kevin. God bless you❤
My friend it is exhausting. Someday we will be free of this nonsense.
Sending you love! 8 yrs here on top of 13 yrs severe chronic (invisible) illness. They are so sick. Never a direct frontal attack, they only operate in the shadows and try to get their knives in you from behind, from inside, or when you are distracted.
This is my mother's whole side of the family, they are all the most toxic petty people I've ever seen. My father is screamed at by her and he doesn't do anything, my sister acts just like her, and I just don't want anything to do with any of them. I've grown very cold towards all of them and I am not afraid to humiliate them when cornered but really I just don't want to fight them anymore.
A month ago I gave a homeless man, who the whole family knows, a 1/2 mile ride to get lunch and dropped him. The narc took my keys and won't give them back. The car is in both our name. To get my keys back, he demands that I promise I won't ever help the man again. I won't promise because I did nothing wrong. He has been hateful to the man since and threatened me today, saying " if I let you have the keys you might do something I'd have to hurt you over." I even have to walk to my Dr. appointment and I've been having breathing problems.
I'm writing this for public record. I've never done anything to him. He has always been this nasty and controlling.
He is not my husband, never married me after 10 year relationship. He is my kids father and we are not together for 3 years now. But I cannot leave because I have no resources, family and he will try to take my kids. It's a really bad situation and my kids are starting to see who he is now.
Positive side is I have been walking everywhere, getting exercise and spending time out with my kids when they come with. I won't let him bring me down. Jesus is Lord! If you're reading this please pray for me - Angela
@skycloud99-yh5uh thank you dear! He got abusive for the last time. He got arrested and I have a restraining order. Life is so much better now! Praise the Lord Jesus!
Yes! I've said, for years, I feel like I've been in a war! Finally realized, in the last yr, after decades of counseling & searching (Im 61) I grew up with a narc mom, then married a narc man (both covert) Ive been with 42 yrs. 😳 I'm worn to my soul. These videos are so validating & help me heal. Finally learning to care about & for me. Thank you!
My mom is a saint, her parents were both horrible, so it makes sense how she ended up with my dad, it’s familiar to her
Glad you are taking this approach to understanding narcissistic abuse. It is warfare, yet this is the first channel to come right out and say so-- as far as I know. Narcissistic people are in fact trying to destroy us, even leading to our death. Our life depends on knowing how to combat these abusive combatants.
Lately ive been hitting them back and they can not take it when you defend yourself and embarass them and put them in their place
Blocked both my attacking sisters and have been enjoying my victory for a year and a half. Loving life without them!
I was in denial that my family was at war against me. Thank you Kevin for your wisdom to what was going on.
“you are too sensitive” “you just think you’re better than everybody else” “what is wrong with you, you need therapy”
“you bought that piece of property as an F you to this family””everybody’s asking us (the family who lives out of state) why you never come to visit us, you are making this family look awful”….
“every time you donate to a charity you’re just trying to show off“….
When I tried to speak up crying to them they’d say with viscous rage, “now you’re just trying to make it look like we’re just beating you down and beating you down and beating you down.”
I severed ties years ago but the cruelty still haunts me. It was like living a waking horror movie nightmare. They want you dead that way they get supply eternally and the threat of the world finding out the truth, dies with the death of their target. It just makes you not wanna be around anybody. It just seems like this is an epidemic. Seems like 9 out of 10 people have this evil running through their veins.
It is an epidemic I am an empath and done with people
Yeah seriously feels like 90 percent of people. But I was Borderline and I'll give a damn narcissist hell! 😅
Yes it feels like that, 90%, ( I actually used that number all the time before I even read your comment today about it being 90%.) But there ALWAYS are good, kind people ( and even animals like dogs and so forth.) We who strive to overcome our OWN human tendencies to be selfish DO, in the long run, gravitate to each other, making the places where we gravitate to each other... our gathering places... 90 to 100% comprised of NON-narcissistic adults to enjoy. ( Children are usually much more narcissistic by nature, before they grow up emotionally.) Look at the half full glass everywhere ya go in Life, because in workplaces and certain other settings, YES, we CAN see the half ( or more ) Empty glasses. But we CREATE the places where the full glasses are, AS LONG AS WE STAND STRONG as individuals, and REMAIN striving to be good people, patiently seeking people like ourselves to whom to give our Time, with whom to spend our Time. Kindness and goodness DO win over nasty or evil. Be PATIENT, and DON'T STOP BELIEVING in what is Good. I myself, I pray to keep myself behaving patiently and STANDING STRONG when alone. WE are the true LEADERS, in this World. Others don't SWAY us. We STICK to what's TRUE and RIGHT. WE SHOW THE WORLD HOW TO DO IT. Keep your Integrity, Brother, or Sister! NEVER, ever give up. "Rest if you must, but DON'T you QUIT," to quote a poem.
@@andrewsmith3257I love it
They sure see it as black and white, win or lose...
Thank you for making this so clear. I have dealt with an incredible amount of this in my life from people who claimed to love me.
Also you have to be so careful about telling relatives your plans and dreams. They will become envious and try to sabotage your plans. Even when they have MORE than you. Gotta be careful with people in general.
That's really important advice especially since I've heard motivational speakers say we should tell everyone what we intend to aim for so that we're more spurred on to do it and get more support for it.
And the other one is to tell others your sorrows and you'll cut your grief in half because you've shared it.
Both are actually really bad advice.
I've known people like that in the past who even will copy your goals...I used to call them dream stealer's...now I know the actual name is narcissist's.
@@homespace1268 lol - but sorry to hear it. Humans be strange.
Yep
My dad left my mother when I was 8. She was going through a major depressive period. I was too young to understand but my mother began using opioids to get through everything. She got custody of me but slept all of the time. I was left alone a lot and realized at a young age, how vulnerable my situation was in real time.
The woman my dad remarried, my stepmother, is wealthy. The day they got married, my dad said, “ she comes first now”
Marcie made Gary agree to put her and her money first before she agreed to marriage. Part of that agreement meant telling his 8 year old daughter essentially, “I dont give a damn if your life is falling apart. This womans money comes first.”
I was let go at 8. As far as I am concerned, I was fired before the age of consent.
So four years ago when Gary tried to choke me in the middle of nowhere, NM- I said I am done!
No more.
I have been living under war fare my entire life.
They continue to reach out to my children, (their only grandparents) and they may! Mh children are grown and beginning to understand what I went through for so many years.
Seeing narcissists run my church and worship team protect each other was my last hope in humanity broken I’m done with people the others were codependent enablers who were abused and the church felt like home disgusting
Mathew 18: 20
For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.
Leave the that church!
Sister Wendy who did the wonderful art appreciation shows on TV in the '80s - they're here on YT, found out the same thing. She had become a nun though. She said she was shocked when she discovered that the people in the church were exactly the same as the ones on the outside. Her solution was to negotiate for herself to live on the monastery grounds in a caravan and they let her do that and supplied her with art books she requested, and she spent all her free time studying them, and that's how she ended up being good enough to teach about art on TV. I just LOVE Sister Wendy.
Hopefully this will be validating for you to hear.
I’m on my third time watching this video. Dissociating so bad ughhh.
Truth really, really hurts. We look for a sliver of evidence to prove it’s our fault vs theirs. Gaslighting ourselves because the truth and the action needed is so hard and heartbreaking.
It’s only then you realize they are the only dynamic you could navigate so now you have to deal with the rose colored glasses being ripped off and seeing the truth of people pleasing and codependency ruling all your relationships.
Deep secrets lead to a family and city smear campaign. They have to discredit you to keep people from believing you.
Seems now though watching this done in politics people wouldn’t fall for it so easily.😢
Yes, especially if we’ve been abused since childhood… Children only know how to internalize, it’s literally wired into their survival mechanisms. If the parents can’t love them, or actually abuse them somehow they must come to believe that it is their fault. And sometimes they will start acting out in ways that are completely foreign to their true personality, just to verify what is happening with the abuse.
Exactly I'm always under attack
They hate that I have a mind of my own...not allowed..
This was the realisation that helped me to finally switch off and walk away. I would always tell him, we're not enemies... then it dawned on me, spiritually we were. I was under attack; spiritually, psychologically, emotionally, mentally, just not physically.. but it was affecting me physically because of my health and being drained.
" The Art of War "
" Wars are never won, there is only collateral damage and broken hearts.... . Those left standing... "
That's why we empaths utilize the rules of engagement...
Agape, and embrace the suck.
Christian Rondow
It's a spiritual battle.
I call them out with underhanded complements, or passive aggressive behavior. I have heard the "you think your better than everyone else" bull. I loathe gossip. It's bad when they tell me off and assonate my character with lies. I realize the individual was lying, and ranting. Then the individual told me not to contact various family members. I saved the text because it's so comical. I know my truth. As you say, they don't determine my value. It's taken me a long time to come to this realization and get through the pain to become far stronger than I ever was. I'm actually grateful. Thank you for your video.
I will NEVER be jealous of my children, in fact, I will be glad to see them prosper. The enemy couldn't stop me from having my own family....
My dad raised us on that book. I come from a family of narcissists, i married into a worse family of narcissists.
Wow this is an amazing video!! Empaths have a hard time understanding this ..and the way you explained this has helped clarify what is going on .. even the out right bitching and complaining loudly ( raging) …not to mention the passive aggressive BS.. I will be watching this video again and again!! Btw I now know that they remember and they know what they are doing.. why does it take so long for us to understand and for this to sink in ugh ..Thank you so very much!!!
It's hard for us to understand how they think because we're empaths. And because we are, it's like we magnetize the Ns right to us.
Attac by no affection, not valuing you, lying about you behind your back, ignoring your needs while expecting theirs to be first and foremost, having no say in anything unless you agree with them, no loyalty, control of money so you can't afford anything for yourself look nice to have hobbies or go out.
100. Except have hobbies because my hobby keeps me at home - crochet and crafts. Hey friend, keep your head up. God is with us.❤
The best war tactic is to allow the enemy to destroy themselves and keep hands clean
Well done! Good insights around these tricky people. This is most evident when you try to resolve an issue, gain some clarity, work out the disagreements but all you get in return is core anger and more confusion.
Yes, they start gaslighting you.
Be a gray rock. A gray rock doesn't talk. --- That's one of my mantras.
Amen, Kevin! 👍👍👍 It's important to recognize when an act of war has taken place. You will feel taken off guard. You will feel betrayed. You will feel stabbed in the back. And there is probably someone in the middle between you and your attacker that you love very much, who wasn't privy to the attack, who didn't see anything or hear anything, and to whom the attackers are being extremely loving, and sugary sweet in order to make sure you feel isolated and alone. Yep, war is an art, all right! And narcissists practice the art of war constantly and become very, very skilled at it, especially the under-the-radar, gorilla-style, attacks. (And afterward, they are very careful to proclaim their love for you to everyone around---like one great big Judas kiss.) Important to believe it, as Kevin says in this video, and to withdraw from their company and their games, and begin to fortify yourself & your boundaries. 💕🙏👍
Make no mistake. When you are under siege, it is a war. No sense in pretending otherwise. A primary part of any battle is developing a strategy, beginning with Plan A, then on to B, C, and on down the line. Irrational, illogical people are dangerous. You never really know what they are capable of. I have no contact with one of my sisters for this reason. You could be talking about anything - the weather, your favorite food, anything at all, and she would pop up with a hostile comment based on nothing you just said. It's as though she was so filled with hate that all she can relate to was negativity. I stayed with her briefly at her invitation after many years of no contact, thinking that maybe she had changed. Hell no. It was her old ways, but worse. The day she said she was buying a gun for "protection". I asked her, "From whom? From what?", yet she never gave me an answer. I left that day and have not seen her since. 10 years no contact.
Congratulations
Another example of the difficulty in seeing the obvious. I used to go into shame and guilt blame myself for any attack that made me feel bad about myself. Now after a lifetime of seeking to understand my life mainly the pain in it, I' finally at the stage of wondering about those who make me feel bad about myself for a living. And I don't think I would of made it this far without all the material on you tube explaining the quiet horror story of narcissistic abuse. Now the good thing about the "Art Of War" is they give the solution, "If you understand yourself and you understand your enemy you need not fear the outcome of any battle".
Me too.. I started asking this question ‘what kind of a person would behave this way?’
.. it opened much awareness for me, helped me separate the persona from the actions..
Indirect attacks that is so poorly understood ans recognized is turning your child against you. It is SEVERE child abuse.
Oh Lord help me! Wish I could spend a weekend camping and counselling with you. Thank you I needed to hear this. I am Able. My sacrifice has been accepted and my Christian adult family literally wants to kill me. I should have called the police many years ago but I wanted to keep my family together, hoping time would heal all. I knew nothing of this demonic narcissism. My wife left with no warning 3 years ago and my adult churchy children abuse me with shunning, cold shoulders, avoidance and demeaning “conversation”. But God is my loving Father and He ministers to me grace and joy, tender mercies and forgiveness every day.
Learning now what this is called. I've been the recipient of these behaviors since a child, as a daughter, wife, and at work. Literally throughout my life. Now I know that it has a name. Thanks for further explanation.
Same. I came to realize why this happens a while back. Not long ago, though. If you're traumatized really badly as a small child, we tend to have slightly wider open gaze as if in constant shock. Someone we loved and trusted and who was our whole world betrayed us and we're in shock to our core. We also are very over reactive and try to avoid tense situations. Predators pick up on this 'prey like' behaviour almost like a Hawk and a Mouse I think. We have to come to terms with how we've been treated and find our inner warrior to put her foot down. Once THAT gleam gets into your eye, they will leave you alone.
ps, I have learned to gain my power back by visualizing my adult self standing in the shadows, watching my parent and what they did. And judging them. And sending silent support to that little girl, telling her it's NOT her fault, there's just something really wrong with her mommy. That has helped me a lot.
Correct. Narcissists vibrate at a very low, evil level. And their thinking almost never changes.
Thank you for this clarification!
When he ghosted me in our own home, after being together for 7 years & being engaged for 3 years, he told me that he told his family that I was toxic to him. He hurt my feelings soooo much, I knew after six months of me observing his total transformation towards me as I was sick, so much hate from him to me, I knew he was probably cheating on me & I had to remove myself from his presence 😢for my own safety & peace of mind! I grieved the death of us & cringed to my Jesus! ❤ 🙏🏼 you’re telling us the truth Brother Kevin! 🙏🏼
I had a narcissistic brother who treated me like a war criminal because I didn’t like a Billy Joel song. He remembered it for years. Lol comedy gold in retrospect, but he was serious.
I told him I would no longer speak with him until he apologized for his terrible treatment of me. His health failed and we never spoke again. They would rather die than take responsibility.
"You're judgemental" Yes, when he was the one who judged so hard that I at times had to gasp for breath out of shock. And when I told him I had reported him to the police for psychological abuse and having beaten me to the point of bruises, he replied "I'll just say "I dont recall"
These are demonic attacks.
My entire family are liars. They gossip even though I am no longer involved or around them. Once I understand that they were unloving and unable to express love, just nastiness, I let go and decided to no longer be involved with them. i recall telling one of my sisters that I did not want to know her. One of the best decisions of my life. I refuse to tolerate the nastiness and they can fight the war alone without any participation from me. Freedom is the best. You must become mentally strong and realize who you really are.
I'll pray for them like David prayed for his enemies! It wasn't lovely either. Sometimes, I think we misunderstand what praying for our enemies may mean. Of course we hope they change and look to God, but if my enemies create a pit for me, I pray they fall into it, respectfully.
Ooo I like that
😂 That's rich.
Good one.
They do fall into the pit created for you. By Divine Ordinance
Exactly. It’s a war that mostly doesn’t go kinetic. But it’s still war.
Thank you Kevin..so glad that you mentioned adult childeren.
Some of your enemy's can be your own childeren.
Yes, some near-death experiencers have to become estranged from their own adult children after they come back from the LIGHT. It's heartbreaking but they know without a doubt that it's best for them and it's important for them to do it for their own protection.
@@websurfer5772 wow really..yes it is heartbreaking..
Definitely describes the behavior of my mother, toxic and verbally abusive grandmother, the toxic GC siblings, toxic aunts and my very envious cousin from early childhood on .
So called "family" can be your worst enemy, more than any stranger out there. Yet unfortunately, we are convinced we must put up with it because they are "family"
I have a family member that wants me to be a part of an organization I have told them at least 50 times why I don’t want to and what needs to happen for me to consider. The person is so ignorant that they will just keep asking without even attempting to accommodate my needs. I mean at this point I wonder if they are mental.
My advice is just say No, and you don't want to talk about it anymore, and don't ever share with them what needs to happen for you to reconsider because it makes you seem wishy-washy, not resolute. This is War! 💪
Stop explaining yourself!
💯 Learn warfare. As said in 'The Book of Five Rings', "To know one thing is to know 10,000 things." This is the art of strategy.
My 90 yr old MIL. A veteran, honed evil and underhanded manipulative strategist to a T.
This is perfect timing for me. Literally as I was opening the CZcams app I was thinking about how ww3 is happening now across the world…meanwhile here at home I’m surrounded by people trying to subvert me through my exes, people trying to gather blackmail material on me, and most of all people who turn me into their adversary in their mind because they betrayed me before and now I don’t want anything to do with them.
Yes. The micro is the macro.
Malignant Narc mother: "Why would a "good" man want a little girl like you?? "
Me: v/ adult selfspeak: "No good man would ever want me so I should be happy with what I get, even if they cheat, abuse, SA, etc. etc."
"Thanks!" mom.
When I was a teenager, i woke up most mornings to my mother screaming non-stop what horrible kids we were. I recall the first I snapped and told her to stop screaming. She looked me with love and concern "I don't yell at you." Irealize it was a brutal attack by pretending she had no idea what I was talking about. I gave up and locked myself in the bathroom. After a while unlocked the door and sat on the edge of the bathtub. She told me "There are two kinds of people in the world..."
I sat there wondering how could respond to such total bs. It wasn't worth bothering.
I grew up with a rage-a-holic mother and when I became a teacher I was screaming at the kids and didn't even realize it. My principal had to tell me. I was horrified, but thankfully I was able to stop from then on. I was just unconsciously playing out my programming so there are cases like that too.
Your mother atthat point was telling you the truth. There are indeed 2 different kinds of people in the world. Sheknew she was from the dark side. You are not.
Why narcs can sniff me out as soon as I’m with them they kick my dog I say don’t kick my dog the other narc protects the narc who kicked my dog unbelievable I’m done with family I know are bad just to make my mother happy or guilt tripped from others
There are charities that are supposed to help those in need some are so evil, narcissistic, cruel, cold, they hate to give to those genine who ask for help , they are sadistic, enjoy seeing people on the floor, desperate, and they let them wait, wait, till it suits them to give the help. They pretending to csre. How do these evil people get these jobs??????
“I was only joking!” After calling me a (fill in the blank….)
No you weren’t.
Wow! This is exactly what I needed to hear. I've listened to this video 3 times today! Thank you for confirming what deep down I already knew but didn't want to accept.
Good video Kevin. Thank you. I am and have been experiencing these covert/direct abuses for many years now. My situation is about financial abuse/control and other lies of which I found out my "Uncle" was really my biological father. Now I am being severely attacked and shamed, ridiculed, mocked, exploited, stalked, illegally surveilled, and being punished by the community via gang stalking and punitive psychiatry. I am basically unemployable and have survived, experienced so much trauma that I am a major fighter and rebel who will not give up or stop fighting. I have also made many videos about my experiences over the years, most of which all got deleted by youtube. I am a targeted individual and a narcissistic abuse survivor. Yes it is a war for your spirit and soul. Smear campaigns, stalking, etc. I experience it each day...corporate and govt. sponsored harassment and mobbing/stalking to get rid of you or to have you suicided. People are mean, greedy, and they lie, esp. when it comes to inheritance disputes and illegal abusive guardianships.
I have been employing tactics from the Art of War for some years now.
This wonderfully insightful book reminds us, for example, to remain outside of 'entangled territory' (enemy territory) while employing psychological warfare.
Total (FULL) NO CONTACT (I also relocated across the country) drastically helps prevent the Narcissist from regaining your attention.
Think about this:
Your intentional distancing is part of WAR. Your prolonged absence is part of WAR. Once you initiate this it acts as a mirror reflecting the undeniable reality of your detachment and radical acceptance of the situation, or disinterest. WHY is this WAR?
Because this in turn ERRODES the narcissist's ability to construct justifications for your actions.
Put differently, how can the narcissist be 'perfect' or 'desirable' if you NEVER return again?
This is WAR, but the final battle is in your mind.
Attack!!!!! Live your life and this is a wonderful Attack!!!
Be at peace and this is ATTACK, be happy and this is ATTACK!!!
Thank you so much for this comment. I want to read this book too.
Thanks for the acknowledgement. I am against on one. But I didn't realize I was facing a WAR with the narcissist. Then I realized this is WAR. So I learned the rules of WAR.@@websurfer5772
What else to do?
Scary world...fall in love with someone and all you get is war and attacks. Nonsense on both sides...I just peacefully walked away.
@@homespace1268 Yeah, but it's not just about your significant other. It can be that you stay married but go no contact with your ils for instance.
@@websurfer5772 We both ghosted each other but I did it for my peace. HE did it for war. I kept up the no contact but he has stalked, drives by my house, and calls from random numbers. I know his distance is to hurt me and my distance is to protect myself.
Indirect attacks is so true .. they want to keep you down.. the indirect attacks are also mind games.. and yes the more one dismisses.. the more one becomes use to the nastiness.. it only gets worse not better ..Accepting it and seeing what is really happening is huge
The bible says where there is envy, jealousy, bitterness, and strife there is every evil at work!
And.......war and warfare is evil because God is love! Love is patient, kind, longsuffering, etc. Love feel good. Words become their weapons. We are responsible for every idle word we speak. And the bible says the tongue has the power of life and death and we will eat the fruit of it. Speak love to yourself and others... I pray for emotional and spiritual healing for all on this channel. There is a beautiful u tube video called love letter from God all based on Scripture.... God loves us.
Thank you. I fully felt like I was in a war zone when I was living with my abusive narcissistic family.
Kevin. Psalm 91 everyday is a great protection 🙏
4:30 "So you can feel the spit"... I know it wasn't meant to be funny, but I laughed so hard.
🔘They weaponize anything they can. Very opportunistic preditors
I've walked away from my family of origin after an early life of dysfunction. Ended up making some emotionally twisted choices in life due to these early life patterns. Continued into adulthood with some of this crap. Have finally flipped the switch on these kinds of people. I have choices and have learned to make better ones in life. Dealing with a different family dynamic with my grandson's mother is a dangerous level of of these types of attacks. The woman is a special kind of nut bag. Using and abusing my son, me and her sons. She loves to attempt control over all of our lives. I just want to scream most days!
I am having a hard time conceptualizing the idea of ‘my grandson’s mother’ . It strains my brain to try. 😮
@@ziziscorsese9475 ok, try "my sons baby mommy"...
"victory comes when you believe they love you!" change me just now... thats where they want you so they can keep attacking you... devasating to learn your love is their weaponed against you! but so freeing at the same time cuz you really are stuck cuz you can't figure it out! wow..... He is doing this to me on purpose! he hates me and he is trying to destroy me! Thank you for this truly!
Because their are emotional children in adult bodies
It’s worse than that. I’ve never met this many children who behave this way nor did I as a child. What did CERN release? Serious q.
Yes that is what kept me stuck for years,, how are my parents so hateful and mean?? I dont get it? Toward the only child… and then husband. Even worse. Two weeks after giving vows at the alter. Knives everywhere coming from people you are supposed to feel safest with
I just have to make it though one short visit this Sat., then mommy dearest will spend the next couple of months out of state. She can say whatever she wants there. At this point in my life and all the slander and destruction she has caused, will not be addressed by me. I hope others will begin to see the light, but that's all I can hope for. Sometimes I truly believe she is the spawn of Satan. The only thing that gets me though is realizing she's nothing but a hollow shell with the emotional capacity of a 6-9 year old. That doesn't remove the fact that she is very dangerous at least to me. I only have very limited contact and the only thing I have left is to completely remove her from my life. There's no real relationship there anyway. All she really wants is to be catered to like a little baby from the daughter she tried so hard to destroy. Sometimes I think she's only disappointed that I survived. She just wants service with a smile and a show for anyone that's watching. It's always been about the show.
The bible could be named the art of LOVE!
If you know how to interpret it. I never thought of applying Cain and Abel's story to myself, but it turns out I am Abel.
My ex, fresh out of military conscription, marveled at the psychological warfare tactics they were taught. When we got married, I had no idea what hit me when he instantly started treating me like the most loathsome person on earth. It was only much later that I realised why he was so interested in those covert attacks. He certainly wanted to knock all the joy out of me - that was well said.
That is heart wrenching. Glad he's your ex.
why do they do this?
I don't care anymore. Nobody believes him. He has ended up in the gutter full of shame. Not me though, because they invariablely show their colors
I agree….. I lived with my ex-husband for 16 yrs then we had a 8 yr divorce actually a WAR!!
He vowed to either make me homeless or that I DIE!!!
It’s been over 29 yrs now and he still bad mouths me to our children & our grandchildren, family & friends!!
TRUTH…. Narcissist are sneaky, charming & manipulative!!
I lived the ART OF WAR , it’s devastating, exhausting and debilitating!!
❤️💪🏼NO CONTACT IS THE ONLY WAY💪🏼❤️
Glory to God! I was just reading The Art of War yesterday! Thank you, Kevin! 🙏
Damn currently going through this it does feel like war I have been confronting 2 of my family members for sexually assaulting me when I was younger they keep trying to gaslight I threatened to take a lie detector test and show the rest of the family the results they kicked me out said never come back…pure evil as they tell the rest of my family I’m abandoning them and they said it exact words were get out don’t ever come back and now they are going around telling the rest of the family I abandoned them
Thanks so much for this teaching! I really needed it today🥰
Everyday we Pray for the people at a grip with evil and you are a True Hero....THANK YOUUUU FOR YOUR IMMENSE COURAGE AND MIRACLE PRAYERS...TOGETHER IN OUR HEARTSSS AND PRAYERS FOREVER 🙏 💞 ♥️
I always felt my family life ( until I finally had a chance to move out) was a Battlefield and life was a War.
Growing up with it and experiencing different types of relationships you, can easily identify the indirect hits and subtle remarks people you never chose to be in your life make toward you
After decades of abusing me it's like a comfortable and familiar game to them. My half-brother would gladly murder me, my stepdad would be like oh well, I guess we need to get rid of the body, my mom would be like, well I am sure glad I didn't kill him so it's not my fault just get rid of his body I don't want to see it.
😑 So sorry that's happening to you.
Thanks Kevin, another great help is to realize you are dealing with a bunch of phycopaths with narcissistic traits. The only difference between a sociopath and phsycopath is thier feelings at that moment! Pay attention next time you piss off your sociopathic "friend", you'll see.
I’m no longer ar war with my 3 older brothers. I’m done. Wrote them all out of my life. I’m a peace ☮️ God is so good 🙌🏻🙏🏻🩷
My daughter was murdered on Sept. 2020 on my birthday by my son. She left behind two beautiful little girls. My great nephew and his wife adopted them. I didn’t know that they were narcissists. Well I now haven’t seen my babies in over a year. They have blocked me.
I needed this 😢😢❤❤
❤TRUTH MY LOVE. ❤ In Our Current Living " End Of Days." Spiritual War"!!!🙏
This was The Most useful reality check I’ve ever had. My (thankfully Ex) partner was a dark tetrad (narcissistic, Machiavellian, Psychotic and Sadistic). War was often open and direct, and just as often viciously indirect, but it was war all the way 24/7 For 5 years. I refused to believe this fact. My mind, heart and soul could not comprehend it was possible. Nearly finished me off tbh, my saving grace was that I was divinely protected, literally miracles happened when I needed help the most. My divine protectors must have shook their heads in disbelief at my inability to accept the obvious reality, putting myself in the most dangerous situations time and time again. This video woke me up, and reframed my delusion over what I was dealing with, with the raw truth of how much inner denial I was contending with. With this obvious reality now in clear sight I can see how every thing he did was to attempt to destroy me. Incredible. I’m shocked at myself for not accepting this fact earlier. I knew it but the cognitive dissonance was Epic. My father and sister were also epic in their attempts to destroy me. But my Ex was like The Terminator, with my name rather than Conner for his mission. I’m blessed to have survived it.
And a man's enemies shall be they of his own household.
Matthew 10:36
If we all had known scripture we never would've fallen into the enemies traps.
That's why God ALLOWS it.
I totally understand and can relate to your situation. Almost mirrors my childhood experience. There are a lot of sick people, and more awareness needs to be raised about just how dangerous narcissists are, and especially those who are parents.
Thank you so much for your content. This is a lesson I had to learn the creator put a narcissist in my path to teach me what they are what it is. It is straight up demonic. You're dealing with demons. satan's Kingdom. You're right, you're under attack. Another thing is, somehow they get you addicted to them. You know they're not good. You know you're under attack but yet you're addicted to them. Breaking the addiction, this is very insidious. I'm learning how to move out of the way and let the karma Deal with them. Thank you so much. Much love, much appreciation. Much respect blessings on your journey.
Breaking that addiction to them can cause deep mourning. Take care and stay strong!
I will never understand narcissism. I don't have the traits and I refuse to be a people pleaser but the way narcs trample good people's boundaries, I feel like they do want to spread this nasty stuff.
In a tumultuous conflict with my dysfunctional family, despite issues, I clung to familial love. Ironically, my adherence to the motto "don't ask someone for advice who hasn't achieved what you want to achieve" wavered within my family. The situation intensified when my family learned of my financial capacity, resulting in bewildering ridicule. This confusion deepened as my father, driven by envy, mocked me, and my mother derided my aspirations. Despite my stability and accomplishments, my family continued to belittle me.
That explains my conundrum. I always think if I’m more successful I’ll be loved and supported, but when I succeed I get exactly the same abandonment as during my periods of failure or need.
I’ve realised they don’t see it as their ‘job’ to be supportive to me. Maybe though they are not supportive to anyone, and I don’t see their feelings or behaviour towards other people.
Sorry you’ve had this experience, it’s very painful. Kevin is a great source of insight.
@@annastone5624 This is why some of us have a fear of success. It can make things even worse for us.