Trauma bond is a vicious spiritual bondage which must be broken. We were born to be free and live life in peace and love which have nothing to do with abuse and bondage.
When you said "basic human decency" my mouth dropped. I often told him that he "didn't have a threshold for decency." I was constantly surprised on how low/awful/shocking he was willing to go.
I was super trauma bonded to my big sister. She'd blow into my life all giddy and fun, and 24 hours later, blow right out again once she grew bored with me. These videos help a LOT!
I informed someone the other day my care and concern does not translate into me worrying about them , wondering what they are up to , where they are what they are doing are they okay that's their responsibility! They were displeased with this , attempted to cold shoulder, justify , ghost and hoover , I focused on my responsibilities and my life , accepting they are not interested in a healthy relationship, their last attempt to have me compromise I ignored , and they disappeared, that will teach me ? They forfeit their future and yours , for temporary superficial gratification, they practice deciet falsehood and treachery, I respect their choice, and mine , I choose not to participate! Keeper of secrets respecting their privacy ? Like a puppet on strings ? I learned the hard way , and recognize those who are attempting to attach strings and have no ability to mutually bond !
I was inculcated into a 15 year relationship with a narcissist. I didn’t know what that word meant at the time. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t getting ahead. She resorted to claiming domestic violence and getting me arrested/ jailed then actual SA letting me know I would be the one going to jail as I had been arrested once; if I called the police. This Ended my career as a pilot before it started. It took me 3 years to get her out of my house. I was afraid of her. The cognitive dissonance was to the point of a psychotic break. I didn’t understand the emotions I was going through and the SA put me back into the mind of a 12yo me. Next a woman with a PHD in psychology moved in and went through my savings, retirement, and equity. She has a cluster B disorder according to my psychologist. I have spent the last 3 years unable to function. What attracts these women to me? Why am I defenseless? What did I do wrong? 🤕
Good news! You're getting the vocabulary to describe your situation. That is a big part of the way out and onward. It certainly was a game-changer for me.❤
In French, our vocabulary is slightly different. We sometimes speak of Stockholm Syndrome or "traumatic attachment". That can be used in other circumstances than narcissism.
Covert manipulation is difficult to put your finger on. It was clear to me there was a power play, but I couldn't articulate it before the first conflict. I still wonder whether they do it deliberately to amuse themselves or subconsciously.
Wow. I'm learning so much right now about a current relationship (as I listen). Perfect video. I'm shocked that I'm doing this right now with someone (or experiencing a trauma bond), yes I feel cognitive dissonance right now! Doubt! As I'm listening. Eish... Thank you so much.
Defending someone’s abusive behavior toward you.Oh he had a poor childhood Can’t leave them. Cognitive dissonance- doubting yourself if you should have left Is he good or bad. Addictive mind wants relief Trauma bonded to this nice cycle used to manipulate you Fantasy of potential of this relationship Hope will keep you stuck and they know this You are continually trying your best to explain basic human decency to this person Only romanticize the good times If you find yourself lying to those who love you about the depth of the abuse and disrespect you are experiencing. Not only do you make excuses to justify his behavior but you flat out lie for him or even gaslight yourself about the abuse.
just having an enlightened catchup - great content as always. The trauma bond/trigger is a lot like a class A drug - you know it's terrible for you but it hijacked you a while ago...
I’m trying so very hard to break my trauma bond with her. No contact is extremely difficult. I made it over a week and messed up last nite only to be proven right once again. Stupid! Here we go again.
Does have anyone have experience with an organized group of malignant narcissists, covert narcissists, or narc and flying monkeys with collective influence into many institutions including law enforcement ?
Not meaning - by any means - to cause offence: respectfully, it's: cognitive DISSONANCE. I figured that you'd prefer to know, rather than not. As to the subject? Certainly, I'm no stranger to it. That said, none of the 'narcissists' in my life seemed to be totally irredeemable, given that: my mother seemed to mellow as she approached the end of her life and that I reduced the other two to tears once or twice. Perhaps being used and taken for granted will cause one to do that. So, probably not full-on NPD, but rather strong(ish) narcissistic tendencies. I guess I dodged a bullet, there.
Trauma bond is a vicious spiritual bondage which must be broken. We were born to be free and live life in peace and love which have nothing to do with abuse and bondage.
I say the same thing.
Free agency is a gift from our maker to undermine it through manipulation or control is a direct insult.
Those strongholds Christ came to break!
When you said "basic human decency" my mouth dropped. I often told him that he "didn't have a threshold for decency." I was constantly surprised on how low/awful/shocking he was willing to go.
The sweet/mean cycle...the intermittent reinforcement keeps you hooked. When you finally leave it's like a drug withdrawal.
I experienced the terrifying nightmares, don't know how many times I woke up kicking and fighting my older brother. It's mental spiritual and demonic
I was super trauma bonded to my big sister. She'd blow into my life all giddy and fun, and 24 hours later, blow right out again once she grew bored with me. These videos help a LOT!
I informed someone the other day my care and concern does not translate into me worrying about them , wondering what they are up to , where they are what they are doing are they okay that's their responsibility! They were displeased with this , attempted to cold shoulder, justify , ghost and hoover , I focused on my responsibilities and my life , accepting they are not interested in a healthy relationship, their last attempt to have me compromise I ignored , and they disappeared, that will teach me ? They forfeit their future and yours , for temporary superficial gratification, they practice deciet falsehood and treachery, I respect their choice, and mine , I choose not to participate! Keeper of secrets respecting their privacy ? Like a puppet on strings ? I learned the hard way , and recognize those who are attempting to attach strings and have no ability to mutually bond !
I was inculcated into a 15 year relationship with a narcissist. I didn’t know what that word meant at the time. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t getting ahead.
She resorted to claiming domestic violence and getting me arrested/ jailed then actual SA letting me know I would be the one going to jail as I had been arrested once; if I called the police.
This Ended my career as a pilot before it started.
It took me 3 years to get her out of my house. I was afraid of her.
The cognitive dissonance was to the point of a psychotic break.
I didn’t understand the emotions I was going through and the SA put me back into the mind of a 12yo me.
Next a woman with a PHD in psychology moved in and went through my savings, retirement, and equity. She has a cluster B disorder according to my psychologist.
I have spent the last 3 years unable to function.
What attracts these women to me? Why am I defenseless? What did I do wrong? 🤕
The Stockholm Syndrome = Traumabonding.
In French, we say : "traumatic attachment" for Stockholm Syndrome. Which can be used elsewhere than in narcissistic situations.
@@trinitristant3527Stockholm Syndrom is exactly the same. If you check out what it really means, you will understand.
Dang. I’m trauma bonded…
😔😥❤
Take action and leave before it gets worse.
Good news! You're getting the vocabulary to describe your situation. That is a big part of the way out and onward. It certainly was a game-changer for me.❤
In French, our vocabulary is slightly different.
We sometimes speak of Stockholm Syndrome or "traumatic attachment". That can be used in other circumstances than narcissism.
@@trinitristant3527 Thanks for sharing. It puts more depth to this issue.
Covert manipulation is difficult to put your finger on. It was clear to me there was a power play, but I couldn't articulate it before the first conflict.
I still wonder whether they do it deliberately to amuse themselves or subconsciously.
Deliberately. It's a power play. It's the most insidious thing I have ever experienced. Thank goodness it's behind me.
Excellent description, Jill! Thank you for sharing your knowledge- explained so well!
I'm in a trauma bonded relationship with my father thanks Jill .
😟😢❤
Wow. I'm learning so much right now about a current relationship (as I listen). Perfect video. I'm shocked that I'm doing this right now with someone (or experiencing a trauma bond), yes I feel cognitive dissonance right now! Doubt! As I'm listening. Eish... Thank you so much.
Defending someone’s abusive behavior toward you.Oh he had a poor childhood
Can’t leave them. Cognitive dissonance- doubting yourself if you should have left
Is he good or bad. Addictive mind wants relief
Trauma bonded to this nice cycle used to manipulate you
Fantasy of potential of this relationship
Hope will keep you stuck and they know this
You are continually trying your best to explain basic human decency to this person
Only romanticize the good times
If you find yourself lying to those who love you about the depth of the abuse and disrespect you are experiencing.
Not only do you make excuses to justify his behavior but you flat out lie for him or even gaslight yourself about the abuse.
I'm trauma bonded to my Golden Child older sister. Ugh...
just having an enlightened catchup - great content as always.
The trauma bond/trigger is a lot like a class A drug - you know it's terrible for you but it hijacked you a while ago...
I’m trying so very hard to break my trauma bond with her. No contact is extremely difficult. I made it over a week and messed up last nite only to be proven right once again. Stupid! Here we go again.
Does have anyone have experience with an organized group of malignant narcissists, covert narcissists, or narc and flying monkeys with collective influence into many institutions including law enforcement ?
Oh my gosh I am trauma bonded.
Not meaning - by any means - to cause offence:
respectfully, it's:
cognitive DISSONANCE.
I figured that you'd prefer to know, rather than not.
As to the subject?
Certainly, I'm no stranger to it.
That said, none of the 'narcissists' in my life seemed to be totally irredeemable, given that: my mother seemed to mellow as she approached the end of her life and that I reduced the other two to tears once or twice.
Perhaps being used and taken for granted will cause one to do that.
So, probably not full-on NPD, but rather strong(ish) narcissistic tendencies.
I guess I dodged a bullet, there.
I do not know why I have so many problems saying that word correctly. So annoying and frustrating. I’ll continue to try say it correctly 😂
👍
"dissonance"
Its dissoNance not dissoDance
Are you related to Jerry Wise ??
No, I am not.
@@theenlightenedtarget Then explain why you are so wise hehehehehe
😂😂😂