Corvus Trims Your Bush | ERU ASMR
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- čas přidán 14. 07. 2024
- In lieu of Margaret's 5 minute absence, Corvus has been tasked with the responsibility of trimming and general routine maintenance of your bush.
If you're one of those patients that didn't realize you had a bush to begin with, well... welcome to Arkham Sanitarium! One moment you have tentacles protruding from the lower portion of your face, the next a bush is growing from somewhere out of the lower half of your body! One moment you're human, the next a pineapple! One moment you’re asleep, the next you’re wide awake and being experimented upon! One moment you are reading these words, the next you’ve reached the end of this sentence! Etc., etc., etc., ad infinitum…
00:00:00 Observing Your Bush
00:01:24 Unveiling Your Glorious Bush
00:01:41 Post-Apocalyptic Timeline Problems
00:03:40 Examining Your Bush
00:06:19 A Questionnaire About Your Bush
00:09:46 Inspecting Your Bush
00:10:58 What's In Your Bush?
00:15:46 Spritzing Your Bush - Part 1
00:18:14 Listening To Your Bush
00:20:29 Trimming Your Bush- Part 1
00:25:22 Beaking Your Bush
00:29:12 Trimming Your Bush - Part 2
00:48:23 Spritzing Your Bush - Part 2
00:50:11 The Eldritch Bush Treatment
00:54:42 Fanning Your Bush
00:57:29 Bush Freshener
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I never thought as a 32 year old man I'd be having my bush trimmed by a plague doctor but here we are.
Strange world we live in, mate
@@Rid_Of_Thee w̶o̶r̶l̶d̶ Rift 😃👍
@@TomPaco ... wtf is this comment section.
@@kristopherheiser538 -comment section- Rift 😃👍
Well you see, we live in a society. A society where this stuff happens on a regular basis.
Corvus really doesn't seem to beat around the Bush.
...take my like and shut up
Bad. Bad. You should feel bad.
But he does beak around the bush
(Loads shot gun)
o|-
Corvus doesn't even register to me as a character. His voice is so different to E's normal voice that he's just a different person altogether in my mind
Sometimes I legit forget Corvus is on the Ephemeral Rift channel and not his own thing
It's the same with Margaret for me. Helps that the masks cover E's face. Makes the illusion perfect.
Have mirror footage over lap, have E and Cor in the same video and see you have a crisis of reality
His corvus voice is quite good and unrecognizable from his own. I don't know if ER has done voice acting before but he should.
I agree...him and Margret i swear are different people...I'll go to my grave with that belief
Mr rift. We need a blooper reel. Because surely you can't have gone through this video without laughing. Please?
YES
Pretty please with pancakes? 😇
@Triniti J ASMR
Uncle E been at it for 9 years now, professionals oppose emotions.
That would be marvelous
24:30 : "I don't perform this kind of bush treatment to just any of my patients. Only you, you are the only one of my most favorites patients my dear favorite patient"
28:35 "Many patients find that the way I trim their bush is quite relaxing"
You two timer.
TRAITOR
How could you
2:00 he mentions Margaret is our regular bush trimmer, so perhaps we're doing a bit of betrayal ourselves by letting him do it lol
Nah dw, He actually just jumps between time streams to trim your bush across multiple realities. "Many patients find it relaxing" because every patient was you.
@@cannonfodder4854 kinda, every patient in all realities are YOU, we are every patient, that’s why everyone recognizes us as the favorite patient because you are every patient and thus you must be the favorite patient.
TL:DR-Every patient is a variant of YOU
So Corvus has decided to trim Bush’s Bush? I take quite a lot of pride in my Bush, its bushiness is renowned around the world, so I am happy that the inter-dimensional being Corvus has taken interest.
Spreading the love for bushiness straight into irak
This comment made me choke on my water oh my god 🤣
I hope Laura doesn’t find out about this George.
Thank you former president George Bush
Hey, didn't you die?
unless you're zombie bush
You know it’s a banger when corvus shows up
F*** yeah
Definitely
@@OhsweetOhno ur flag ded russians made through near central of ukraine ;-;
@@brute_dek3713 the thought behind it still counts. As Long as the people consider themselves Ukrainian and not Russian it still means something
Nice pun Luke
Did ER just turn a dirty dad joke/body euphemism, and make an hour video about it? It’s Dad ASMR, hands down
Yep xD
I'm the only one who doesn't know what is a dad joke ? 😅
No one's doing it like him
@@srartgaming it's just like a really bad joke, not bad like terrible but so bad it's good
Sorta like those jokes where is what's a fish with no eyes called
A fsh
@@unholysheepgod1293 sun wukong
“They had us in the first half not gonna lie”
Do all CZcams comments make the same unfunny reddit comments or is that just you?
@@whiteboyproductions5044 and you’re hating for what reason?
@@sortakindageese For the same reason as anyone with common sense. Lacking any creativity gets really aggravating.
@@sortakindageese cause I'm a hater
@@whiteboyproductions5044 wow so badass he’s a hater
I don’t know why but Corvus always makes me feel more comfortable and secure than any other character rift plays as.
That is something Corvus would 100% do if he was filming a video.
Corvus is the man
Its ze german accent yes
It's a strange contrast between the creepy mask and then the unexpected friendliness of the character.
I love Corvus and Dave… and Margaret, lol.
I just wonder if ER had to do several takes because he started laughing at himself after saying something about “your bush”
True but that would be very un-asmrtist of him
You’d only think he wouldn’t
well the video isn’t cut soooo this is saying that no
edit: it is, twice in 10 seconds
if that’s the size of the bush, i cant even begin to imagine the size of the tree
Or the boulders it grew between!
I can.
Oh my hehe that sounds interesting
Have you seen the forest thou
@@Stella0700 what
I like that he laughs at the “duties” joke but doesn’t even crack at all the bush jokes. I would’ve been crying trying to keep it in
Nobody's gonna talk about the fact that Corvus encountered Agent 47, the other guy wearing a plague doctor mask, (from a previous ER video) and Corvus is one of his targets
Corvus will live on
Oh shiz
Nope, nobody's gonna talk about it. Sorry!
Pretty sure it was also referenced with the Margaret missing situation since she was also one of the targets
Corvus: "This video is sponsored by the Lawnmower 1.0."
Also Corvus: *Pulls out actual lawnmower*
😂👍
Is that In the video because time stamp pls
@@limuelmagbanua3137 LOL no, it isn't
Now THAT was a notification that was very difficult to explain to my grandma while scrolling through lists of old movies.
Disappointed that your grandma doesn't know the ERU lore
Is she a member of a nefarious organization? Does your Nan wear a tinfoil hat? Maybe she was only acting like she didn't know Corvus...but was elated to see that he's here to look after her bush
How am I supposed to sleep when you keep saying “your bush?”
“Let me take a look… deep inside your bush.”
Paul… my GOODNESS. I saw the title and was like “Why am I not surprised?”
His name is PAUL?!?!?
@@perryjimenez5629 nope, it's Paul.
@@chrissie_nicole thanks for the clarification
@@Snorlax893 👍
@@perryjimenez5629
kARL! There's a dead human in our house, Karl! KARL... what did you do?! EXPLAIN KARL!! K...Karl... and you did... oh God.... KARLLLLL
every so often, ER stands for euphemism rift for a few sweet moments
Such was the case with his ball cleaning video and his video about the handheld game, Touch me.
@@chadbrown748 don't forget about his nut sack 🤭
morning wood and krill your shelf will be er cult classics, i'm tellin' you
I love the way Corvus says bush
Everytime we think uncle E couldn't get better or more out of the box... He comes up with a boxing ASMR, fake lobotomies with deep one Dave, and, not to beat around the bush, stuff like this and Krill your shelf. As I've said before, don't change uncle e
Or change and keep things fresh consistently as he has!
Best asmr-ist easily. Btw great pfp
@@NationalSecurityAssosiation thx, you too. I love Squidward and his memey goodness.
Can I put you in my bioreactor plz? :)
@@Relaxinomicon nope, but talk to Bill, he might like it! He's a bladder fish, btw
I've had multiple people tell me it would take a amazing doctor to be able to trim my bush. Glad I got it done, thanks corvus!
- I… 😂 I swear I’m going to pee my pants laughing at the thought!
I keep thinking of my huge hedge trimmers too! But they’re rusted and he’s using a “Doctor Who” line on me “Trust me, I’m the The Doctor!”
🧐
i wonder if we’ll ever get a video that shows us what corvus likes to do during his breaks
Maybe…
@@zackgames6819on god!? no cap!? for real!?
@@zackgames6819 Which vid
Man i was makin a joke
@@zackgames6819 sad
This man went to home depot, bought three bushes and put on a mask for an asmr video. This is pure dedication.
Not to mention the script & accent for the character :P
“We’re going to see Margaret soon, mark my words”
o h n o
how is this man not laughing! “spread your bush apart”
😂🤣
I love Corvus so much I wanna just give him a hug and tell him he’s a beautiful doctor who gives the most satisfying asmr
Christ?!
Jesus Herbert Christ?
😳 jeSUS???
Jesus actin a lil SUS for corvus not gonna lie
You "was" the chosen one
Thanks a lot Corvus... now my friends are gonna go “ i like ur bush g”
*smack!*
@@dram3711 Depending on what sex you are... dat's gonna hurt. 😂
@@dragonesseather my bUSH!
@@dragonesseather trust me, it hurts either way.
@@LovelessMilo Mate, as a female, I know for a fact it doesn't hurt as much...
I like that he giggles at "duties" but has made an hour long video solely dedicated to bush jokes, which illicts nothing but serious consideration.
The whole premise of this video made me smile, but I flat out lost it when I heard, "Do you make sure your bush gets enough exercise?"
is no one gonna talk about how he put the lil strawberry freshener on his beak at the end ?? jskdjs corvus is such a cutie i love him
Well damn, I never thought having someone thoroughly rifle through my overgrown bush would give me tingles in my *upper* body.
Upper? Certainly not lol
Margaret's been a little scarce since she 'accidentally' burned down Corvus' office, hasn't she?
💀
Oof moment
So the alternate universe Corvus might’ve erased her from existence when he destroyed the original universe
@@TheUncivilizedNation that... Could be a possibility
Corvus is the only one I'd trust to trim my bush
This will be so hard to explain to anyone who sees my CZcams history using just words alone. It defies definition but I can assure you I was laughing my butt off.
I’m a simple woman! I see Corvus, I smash that like button.
I’m a simple man, I see Corvus, I smash 😼
simple women doesn't exist.
@@mlsterlous simple words are often the most true words
I do the same for a fantastic bush.
Same girl I'm nit a simple woman but I hard simp Corvus
I had to go to the gynecologist and I played this on the waiting room and it was perfect I love it ❤️❤️
The buildup to the return of Margaret has been intense
When the bushes are trimmed, the tree stands taller.
😂
Imao
Corvus is far and away my fav, no idea why but I always sleep better when Herr Doktor is looking after me. That being said I do truly believe one's bush should grow freely unless it grows to an unwieldy size. Tis the way of nature, and we must respect her in all her green glory.
I nearly died like three times typing this out, I;m so sorry everyone, but it must be done.
A trim can actually be quite healthy and can even stimulate fresh growth 😁👍
@@runawayfaeIX Fair enough, I myself prefer the natural method but to each their own, one should take care of their bush as they see fit.
@@TobiahThornwood hey, as long as squirrels don't get in there and start tearing things up, it's all good!
@@runawayfaeIX Indeed!
Thank you, Corvus! I have been PLAGUED by that enormous bush forever!
I never leave home without my strawberry scented bush freshener 🤣
CORVUS THIS WAS NOT THE KIND OF TINGLES I WAS ANTICIPATING 😳
This man has no chill and I love it.
All these absences really gotta come up in Margaret's performance review at some point.
She's just lucky she's married to the head physician.
Woah, Corvy - two things
1) I don't want Death by Margaret
2) Be a gentleman and buy me a drink first
Not funny, didn't laugh
@@newfangledtechnology1097 aww do you want a cookie?
@@onefordespair if they don’t I’ll take it.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@frost.bytten2023 Ayo can we split it?
*clicks on the new upload* “time to relax”
*reads the title while watching the ad*
“HOLD UP WHAT!?!?!”
Ephemeral rift's ASMR always works best on me because in addition to being relaxing- they are funny and disarming. Pretty hard for cynicism, racing thoughts and negativity to compete with a plague doctor discussing my bush.
Thanks Doc, it's been hard trying to find time to trim my bush. My partner says I should tend to it more often. Luckily you are here for me.
I love seeing Corvus, he’s not just my doctor
He’s an old friend
Thankyou corvus, my bush has needed a trimming for quite some time according to my other half.
You have a separate conscious? Another head or brain perhaps? Fascinating
@@ajaxx7252 It's a procedure Corvus does sometimes. He takes half a brain from someone better than you, then opens your skull and puts it in there with your original half.
@@DaggerSkullery yes that’s what I had, I saved up for quite some time for it, but worth it in the end :)
Thank god for Corvus...
I was pushing it off for weeks and weeks. I just have been too lazy and had no energy to do it. My girlfriend was already complaining and I got annoyed as well I just have been too lethargic.
Thank you Doctor.
There's got to be a thousand reasons why I love this character, but this has to be the video I'm gonna use to explain why lol
Thanks for trimming my bush, Corvus. I was a bit busy with investigations so I neither had the time nor motivation to trim it.
L? 😃
ER we need an Opposite Day asmr video. So instead of like “Hope you’re having a wonderful day” it’d be “I hope you’re not having a wonderful day,” and etcetera. I think you’re probably the only ASMRtist that could pull it off well.
am i the only one who would want a ER blooper reel cause no way in hell could he be keepin a straight face during one take haah
Gosh, I just can't😂. That takes dad jokes on another level and I love it.
You're so creative and get the weirdest yet most interesting ideas for your videos and I think it's great.
Please keep it up and don't change the way you make your videos.
Greetings from Germany 🇩🇪
ich bin doch nicht allein hier 😅
ach du auch? :)
Endlich! :D
Gute nacht
*hust* *hust*
My bush has never looked better! Thanks, Corvus!
😌
"Do you make sure your bush gets enough exercise?" is not a question I was prepared to answer.
Yesss, I love everything about this. Corvus, ASMR, wonderous puns and puerile humor. *snickers.*
"This too shall pass" is something ive lived alongside since I heard it from you 5 years ago. Thank you for doing what you do.
this man is beyond genius
I appreciate the trim Corvus
"Do you mind if I touch your bush? I hope you don't mind"
I am not sure if this bush is a plant that I own or attached to my body but sure I guess go for it
Ü
Corvus is my favorite character and he can always trim my bush lmao 😂
If someone asked me as a kid what I wanted to do when I grow up, I would have said "fish-man performing fake lobotomy to a pineapple" video connoisseur. "Plague doctor trimming your bush" video connoisseur turned out to be an even more impressive feat. My parents are proud.
"Something about bushes... It just.. gets me a little excited."
Okay, Corvus...
😏
Paul is the chaotic good uncle that drops inappropriate jokes when you least expect it.
Now get Corvus to prepare us a salad in a bowl, toss it, if you will.
*Do you mind if i, beak, your salad?*
Hell nah ☠️
@@Madara_Uchiha69420hell yeah
25:20 I could've sworn for a moment the mask looked like it blinked
Corvus never gets old...
That’s all the time travel
I screamed when I read that title 😂😭😭
“The sound that your bush makes” - Corvus
I’m happy to know that my bush is fascinating and marvellous!
Ah thank you, my bush was definitely in dire need of trimming!
11:50, “how’d that get in there”
Corvus...
You could've taken me to dinner first.
I need a bush barber to give me that FADE
Average ASMRtists: *get sponsored by Manscaped*
ER: *trims bushes*
I can't help it but "Strawberry-Scented-Corvus" sounds like a special limited edition from the Arkham-Sanitarium merchandise collection 🙃
I'm sorry Corvus....it's uh....been a while since I had my bush trimmed.
I was just trying to fall asleep to this but sipmply can't. It's good ASMR, but I just can't stop laughing.
Once he said “oh you’re awake” I realized what the implication was and I fucking died
“Ah, a Halloween candy wrapper in your bush.”
😃💀
😏
I’m guessing he got this idea from the winter cyclone bomb or whatever it’s called. Everyone’s bringing in their plants and covering their “bushes” so they don’t freeze. He was probably on the middle of moving all his plants and thought “I have a perfect idea” lmao
But it’s fake and why would people have plants out in the winter in the Midwest where he lives? Why would it be bad for bushes to freeze? How would you bring a bush inside? I have so many questions lol
‘Beaking your bush’, bloody hell 😂
Holy shit
thank god! i was waiting for an appointment to get my bush trimmed!
I knew it was gonna be a good day when I see Corvus in the CZcams notifications
Me: laughing at the word "bush"
Corvus: laughing at the word "duty"
Always liked your corvus videos. This was gold, asmr and laughter are a good combination. The bush pecking was my favorite, it was hilarious.
Yes, it’s good to let the bush breathe. Otherwise, it might start to . . . smell.
😭🤚
Mmmm cheesy
I deeply thank you for thi extraordinary bush trimming !
The first few minutes got me blushing in embariment. 😳😳😳
This made me so happy 😃 today. Luckily I have to wear a mask at work, otherwise, everyone would have seen me grinning ear to ear. Absolutely delightful! Always a new surprise.
Er just makes our days and it’s wholesome
The beak freshener bit was the cutest thing ever
Now I hard simp for corvus I live this so much! Your seriously the most unique ASMR channel I've seen
Jeez Corvus take me out to dinner first!
I want to relax and sleep but I just keep bursting into fits of laughter throughout all of this 🤣🤣😂
Corvus is definitely a stand user....make of that as you will
I need the blooper reel of this video. Just to see if it's all him laughing himself blue because of all the double meanings.