9 Habits of My Autistic ADHD Partner
Vložit
- čas přidán 11. 06. 2024
- Funny Things My Autistic ADHD Husband Does, from the POV of a Neurotypical Spouse | Understanding Autism and ADHD 🧠
You've heard a lot from Chris so far since he was diagnosed with both autism and ADHD, but how about for Debby, as the neurotypical spouse? Before Chris was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism, we often wondered why certain things were challenging for him and why we thought so differently. Also, why did he do certain things that were both funny and quirky - but totally normal to him?
Today we are going to share the lighter side of having a neurodivergent spouse who has both ADHD and autism - as well as a lot of personality! It certainly has its challenges, but it also makes for a memorable and fun journey through life together.
Maybe you have a friend, family member, colleague, or loved one that has autism, ADHD, or both - do they also do any of these things? What do you love most about them and their unique brain? Let us know in the comments!
Remember to LIKE, SHARE, and SUBSCRIBE for more content!
📌 Timestamps:
00:00 - Intro
00:14 - Abruptly Ending Conversations
00:46 - Repetition of Spoken Phrases
01:20 - Challenges of Time Blindness
01:59 - Making Up New Words
02:35 - Constantly Moving
03:26 - Unique Ways to Stim
04:09 - Not Caring About Things that Matter a Lot to Others
04:49 - Busy Creative Mind
05:37 - Childlike Qualities
✨ Need some great autism tips to help your holidays go smoothly? Get our FREE resource here: chrisanddebby.mykajabi.com/ho...
🚨 OUR RECOMMENDATIONS:
👇 FAVORITE FIDGET GADGETS (especially for ASD)
1. Nee Doh Cubes: amzn.to/3RkRsoA
2. Ono Roller: onoroller.com?sca_ref=4880234.xpzLrB3REJ (use our coupon code CHRISANDDEBBY for 10% off!)
📚 FAVORITE BOOKS
1. Why We Sleep (Matthew Walker): amzn.to/46GJOd7
2. Un-Typical (Pete Wharmby): amzn.to/40TEfG6
🎧 FAVORITE HEADPHONES
1. Soundcore Noise Canceling Headphones: amzn.to/3LMkWIn
2. Bose Noise Canceling Headphones: amzn.to/3tegj3t
👕 FAVORITE COMFY CLOTHES
1. Kingsted T-Shirts: amzn.to/3ZgfkMa
2. Wool Socks: amzn.to/3ZfVqAO6
3. Ugg Slippers: amzn.to/3sRkQsH
💤 FAVORITE SLEEP ITEMS
1. Manta Sleep Masks: bit.ly/4acwSy3
🎥 FILM SETUP: ✈️ Starter/Travel Kit
1. Sony Alpha 6400: amzn.to/3QUmEth
2. Sigma 16mm f/1.4 DC DN Contemporary Lens for Sony E: amzn.to/3MUYYnl
3. RODE Ultra-Compact On-Camera Shotgun Microphone: amzn.to/46u6BYO
4. Neewer 2 Pack Dimmable Bi-Color LED Video Light + Stand: amzn.to/40XSNob
5. Joilcan 75” Tripod: amzn.to/46v1J5B
PS: Purchasing through these links may give us an affiliate kickback (at no additional cost to you) and help us continue to make awesome content. Thanks for your support!
⭐️ ABOUT US:
I'm Chris and alongside Debby, my brilliant partner, we've traveled, founded companies, and navigated the world as a neurodiverse duo.
Whether it's better business tips, relationship hacks, travel tales, or just a peek into our everyday life, we've got a lot to share. So if you want to join a community that's all about improving lives, you're in the right place. Give a thumbs up if you enjoy the video, drop your thoughts in the comments, and hey, maybe consider subscribing? Cheers to a better life!
➡️ Remember to LIKE, SHARE, and SUBSCRIBE for more content!
📍STAY CONNECTED:
Instagram: chris_and_debby
Website: www.chrisanddebby.com
Email: contactchrisanddebby@gmail.com
#ADHD #autism #neurodiversity #mentalhealth #autismawareness #ASD #actuallyautistic #autismsupport #audhd #adhdandautism #autistic #autisticlife #livingwithautism #autismadvocate #autismadvocacy #adhdawareness #neurodivergent #couplegoals #neurodiverselove #stimming
My boyfriend walks away in the middle of when I am talking to him sometimes as well! It seems so rude. He has ADHD and I have autism and ADHD.
This would be worth a conversation together! I (Debby) used to also get pretty frustrated when did this (pre-autism diagnosis)and sometimes followed Chris when he got up to leave the conversation so I could continue it, not really thinking he wanted to leave the discussion but thinking he just wanted to get up and move. But it turned out that there were many reasons he would get up and walk away when I was speaking with him - and I honestly had never considered the wide range of reasons for him getting up and also that he might not want me to follow him when he would leave. His reasons ranged from wanting to stand up to remembering something in another room to needing to go to the bathroom right then and there to wanting to stop the conversation because it was boring/poorly timed/irrelevant to him, etc etc. It took some time and several conversations about it (at different times, since sometimes he left because he didn't want to talk anymore at that particular time) before we got to a better spot. Still a work in progress!
So for both of you, it might be good to know when one person leaves and signals for why it happens so it doesn't leave the other person confused, frustrated, or upset.
@@ChrisandDebby We have talked about it. It seems like a couple reasons that were similar. I asked him to just say what is going on. So he often just says, "I gotta leave!" Which could mean several things but is helpful. Usually he means he has work to do. But it could mean he is bored.
I love you two, lovely people ❤
Love having you here!! Thanks for your kind words ❤
Thanks for sharing the spouse perspective. As I explore my AuDHD side, unearthing what I have hidden from myself all these years, your videos are very fun and useful.
Glad you're enjoying them! We are still learning more together all the time, and what you mentioned about "unearthing what you have hidden from yourself" is something we just talked about a few days ago. Have you found anything that helps you most with that? For Chris, it's having the time to actually consider why he's doing something - what he thinks is expected of him vs. what he actually wants to do. Especially because of his ADHD, he hasn't always given himself the mental free time to think about these hidden parts of himself
Great to hear Debby’s point of view!
I'm a lucky man!! She's got a lot more videos coming! We can't wait to share them. Thanks for your continuous support😍😍😍!
The one about worlds made me laugh because I channel all of that into fanfic, but I never really thought about how fanfic, or just writing in general, is such a natural place for an autistic person. Since I was a kid I was always more interested in all the details of worldbuilding than the actual plots about the people-but how DOES vampire biology work? How does JARVIS (Tony Stark's AI) brain understand emotion? Do time travelers have to apply for Social Security? 😂Often I find myself outlining twenty pages about how a particular world works and then I never write the story because I don't really care about that part.
Both of my sons are AuDHD and so am I but my sons are more like you describe Chris being..I am not like this at all as a Woman. I wonder if societal expectations have trained some things out of me.
Wow! I bet you have quite a dynamic household! It must be challenging at times to both have AuDHD and also parent two boys that also both have it. I wish I could chat with you about that! There's so many things I want to know.
You bring up a really interesting question - does society play a role in how autism symptoms and behaviors manifest differently in men and women? If so, how much? This is an area I want to spend more time researching, because I think it's really interesting. What are some differences you've noticed between you and your two sons? I'm also curious... Are your two sons similar in age?
Hmm interesting , you just gave me an idea! I always feel like walking away or getting away from a conversation when my husband is going on about something that’s boring or too long or is something I really don’t need to or want to know but I just hang tight. I’m going to just walk away next time! 😅 Maybe that’s why your husband walks away too. 😮 I also repeat lyrics to songs over and over and I never knew why but I just like it. I am old but I love certain toys and I love very soft things. I used to think I was weird but now I know all of this IS normal if you’re autistic.
Haha, from the spouse perspective, I would first have a chat about it so your husband will understand what's suddenly happening when you leave, especially if you didn't always do that before! Communication is definitely key. Or just have him watch this video! 😁Chris also doesn't do it ALL the time but he definitely does it more now that I understand better, and then it might come back to "So, was that boring?" "Is this not the right time for that chat?" "Something else on your mind?" But what has actually happened is it's started to help me (Debby) see that I tend to say a lot more words than necessary sometimes, so I'm practicing being more concise. So then he actually doesn't need to walk away quite as often - although I do get going still sometimes and might not notice the glazed-over look in his eyes until he's gone 😂 But you're absolutely right - it's something I plan to talk about in another video but we do have differences in terms of what we feel we need to know vs. what we want to tell the other person, and I am working to be respectful of that and to adjust! (ie talking about work with work colleagues when needed instead of coming home and telling it all to Chris)
PS Chris also loves all the soft things - and lots of these things are very normal if you're autistic, so I think it's good that we can just start letting everyone (including non-autistic people) know that this can just be normal, even if it's different. 😊
I find that folks like us on the spectrum tend to look younger than our chronological age. Perhaps that youthfulness?
My mum is 70 and looks 50! I'm 40 and people always say i look younger, although i think i have aged recently
I think that we act younger than our age in certain ways.
Are you saying I look young? I'm loving this comment! In all seriousness, I've never actually thought about this. The idea is very interesting! I'm going to start paying more attention. Thanks for sharing!
@@ChrisandDebby had you not mentioned the age at which you were diagnosed I would have assumed you were in your 30’s, so yeah!
I also have Autism and ADHD. How does Chris deal with cold or hot weather? I am miserable when it’s cold. I hate cold but I am a delight when it’s 75-85.
Those are the optimal temperatures. Anything outside of that is uncomfortable.
I'm the opposite. I was really depressed last summer, it was so hot, i couldn't leave the house. I like Autumn because of visual stimming, winter because i get to wear all my favourite clothes and spring because it's beautiful and warm.
I love chilly weather! Any temperature between 40-60F or 4-16C. I really struggle in the heat. I have to leave a building, restaurant, automobile, etc. if the temperature is too hot. I get sick and feel tired. When the weather is cool, I feel so much better. I have more energy and am happier. I would prefer cold weather (below freezing) to anything over 80 degrees.
Chris is the complete opposite! He HATES the heat and struggles a lot when he feels overheated. So we have adapted by keeping the AC set at a comfortable temperature (for him, which sometimes means I am wearing a sweatshirt and wool socks to keep warm) and also trying to be in spots when possible where the weather is conducive to what works well for him. (Like traveling to Australia during their winter, which was quite shocking to the awesome Aussies we met! But it also made for a very pleasant and less touristy time to go there.) But I have read that regulating temperature can be very challenging for autistics and that most are very sensitive to the temperature. As a spouse, it's a pretty small concession (in my opinion) to keep the temperature set where Chris can function best and for me to adapt by wearing more clothes. Plus I love sweatpants and sweatshirts, so it's a win-win!
What type of climate do you live in? I also know a lot of people (autistic and non-autistic) who struggle with fluctuations with sunlight. Chris doesn't like being in the heat but he does like sunshine, so I also notice his mood can sometimes change when there are a long periods without much sun or when there's lots of rain!
@@CB19087 yes, this sounds like Chris exactly! His favorite is also crisp winter temperatures, and I'm lucky that I like those too. Also we both love the winter gear that accompanies those temperatures - sounds very similar to you. We (especially me) love sunshine and love being outside, but when it's too hot, Chris gets sunburnt quickly which also is highly unpleasant, so he stays indoors a lot - then gets a little stir-crazy!
I have AuDHD, & Chris sounds a lot like me.
That’s Chris’s diagnosis too! Which parts remind you of yourself? I really enjoy getting to learn the wide range of autistic qualities!
@@ChrisandDebby Pretty much all of them to a more lesser extent; although I hardly ever put my clothes on wrong.
and I hate the way americans say Burger ... sounds like a frog 😂 so there is also the opposite of liking words. I know both too.
😂😂 We love our 'rrrrr' sounds!
@@ChrisandDebby for me it´s kind of disgusting ... sorry.