The WORST Place for Autism (According to One Autistic)
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- čas přidán 21. 03. 2024
- What is the worst place for my autistic brain? Weddings - but it might not be for the reasons you think! In this video, we dive into all the reasons that weddings are difficult for me, especially after learning late in life that I'm on the autism spectrum, from the unique perspective of an autistic adult with ADHD who also happens to be an educator. While this isn't meant for diagnostic purposes, it's designed to shed light on various aspects of autism, offering insights and real-life examples.
From the noises of clanging glasses and unknown foods with weird textures causing sensory overload to the dress codes and all of the rules of weddings that cause immense stress, we'll dive into the horror that is attending a wedding - and why I didn't have a wedding of my own.
Whether you're on the autism spectrum, suspect you might be, work with autistics, or are simply interested in learning more, this video has something for you. I'm here to provide an insider's look at the unique perspectives of someone autistic with the goal of helping people better understand me and other AuDHDers in order to help us all live and work better together in a neurodiverse world.
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Anything "office" other than work: parties, outings, functions, team-building, luncheons, garden parties with the whole family and their dog! Why would I spend extra time and/or money to be with people that I don't have much to do with at best or the ones I HAVE to work with at worst? Nopedy nope! ✋🏻
Amen. Totally agree.
my own wedding was one of the most stressful exhausting experiences of my life. Not aware of my autism at the time.
A note on public bathrooms: it drives me nuts how, in a completely empty bathroom, with 8 stalls, i choose the most obscure stall, and the only other person who comes in HAS to choose one next to me, and starts slamming around, and making weird noises and gross smells. Like, you couldnt choose ANY OTHER stall? I get so angry lol
I will put off using a public restroom for as long as I can.
WHY. DO. THEY. ALWAYS. DO. THIS.
Work related seminars with built in "breaks" for breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour, and networking.
ohhhhh those are the worst!!! Disingenuous, can't be yourself, everyone having their own agendas and figuring out what they can get from each other, no honesty, all superficial, endless long superficial smalltalk ...now that's my personal hell lol
Not to mention that they don’t give you enough time to actually decline the food they provide so you can go be by yourself
My Daughter eloped a couple weekends ago, I have never been happier with her. I was dreading her potential wedding ceremony. Gained a son and she was thrilled to do it the way she wanted as all weddings should be.
Graduation ceremonies are like that as well. Especially when you will not get your certificate unless you attend graduation.
weddings are hell on earth... 😣
😂😂😂
Aaallll the insistent hugging 😖😖😖
You said "knee pit sweating" omg that is SO a thing!
I need a designated person with me to a wedding. I'm at the age where my friends are getting married and I've been to three weddings where I wasn't allowed (or specifically told) to bring a friend. So I went alone. I have NEVER felt more uncomfortable. Where do I sit, how long can I sit there, I don't want to talk to this stranger but I don't know what else to do, also now I've run out of things to say so I run to the bathroom in a panic and stay there for 45 minutes.
It's my friend's wedding. Of course I want to be there for them. But during the day my friend has no time to really sit down with me, because it's their wedding and they're being hauled from place to place to person to person.
In two other instances, I've been allowed to bring a person. My person is the one who drives with me in the car, the person who I can sit next to without having to make small talk or feeling weird. My person keeps me sane during a wedding. I now refuse to go to a wedding or similar event if I can't bring a person. I've been my sister's person to her friend's wedding. It was awesome. If I have to go alone I get so miserable I could cry, throw up, and leave. And I'll need at least two weeks of solitude after.
Me and my husband had a simple backyard wedding. There was very few people there. We didn't have a reception. It was so nice and peaceful.
I love weddings-as long as I don’t have to show up at one. The gowns, the flowers, the venues, and the photos, I love looking them all online. But egads! The thought of going to one gives me hives.
One thing (among many) that repelled me beyond all expresssion about weddings in my younger years, when I was still an 'eligible bachelor' (still a bachelor but no longer, thank God, 'eligible," rather I'm comfortably, serenely OLD now--again, thank God)--but what was I saying.... Oh yeah, what repelled me beyond all expression was how "all the young guys" would get railroaded ("Oh come on, ya gotta, ya gotta!") into things like catching the garter, dancing, and various abominably absurd wedding games and rituals. I would watch, gauge, figure out when the garter thing was gearing up to happen and then...DISAPPEAR. Straight to the restroom. I come back..."What? I missed it? Awwwww. Well, maybe next wedding...."
Your comment (from the perspective of your older “ineligible” self on the spectrum) about how hard it was to attend weddings as your young eligible bachelor self, reminded me of something I’ve been wondering…
I was widowed 9 years ago after 41 yrs of marriage. Now 70-ish yrs old, Im beginning to think that what’s made me feel different all these years may have been that I was on the spectrum, but no one knew.
In your opinion, do you think that as those of us on the spectrum
get older, we are destined to give up hope of romantic love?
I crave a certain amount of alone time, but it gets pretty lonely not having someone special to share with, laugh with, and love with all my heart.
Your thoughts?
I got my autism diagnosis because I went to a wedding....quite prepared for everything I had been told about and extremely unprepared in any way that actually would have helped me...I'm sure you can guess how that one went. Public meltdown and had to be escorted out. I appreciate you making this video to help me sort out why it was such torture for me! I'm married but we just did it down at city hall, so I had no idea they could be so terrible before that.
I thank GOD that I found your channel! I thought I just had misophonia, but from watching your videos it explains everything for me and my life! So refreshing to be able to be understood and be able to relate. This means everything to me and my wife has gained so much from you and your wife that we have incorporated to our lives together. I have avoided weddings my whole life as much as I could for these exact reasons! Double cheers! lol.
Thank you for this!! Comments like this are the reason we started this channel. I also struggled with lots of things (like weddings) and had no idea why or that other people had the same issues until I got diagnosed. But we share here to let other people like you and your wife know that you’re not alone!
Also would enjoy hearing what you and your wife are incorporating into your lives together! It’s sometimes trial and error but great that you have a partner who is there to learn and try to figure out what works with you too.
Thanks again for being here and for sharing this! Made my day
This hits hard. I was asked to be my brothers best man at his small wedding he arranged in Hawaii. He was constantly on me about "What are you going to say during the toast?". I had a great speech prepared for it. When the time came to get up and do it, I was handed a mic. I had a few drinks I thought would loosen me up, but when I looked out at all the people, there was hardly a soul in the crowd I recognized. Most were my sister-in-laws family which I did not know. I totally froze up. There was a long, long, so very long pause. I managed to put out a few awkward words and then retreated off stage. I have tried to explain what was going on to my brother, but he was not in the mood to understand. It has been over 20 years and my sister-in-law still thinks I ruined her wedding.
She sounds like a jerk. Hohestly, some women don't even deserve husbands. I'm sorry you had to endure that. People have such high expectations of us. You did your best, next time politely decline. Mail them the speech you wrote & tell them you've already explained & apologized & tell them to grow up for Gods sake & stop being so childish! Hopefully you have a compassionate partner.
If a wedding is “ruined” by best man not giving a long speech, they need to reevaluate what a successful wedding means
Public bathrooms are horrible… you don’t know what kind of toilet paper you’ll be provided, if someone else is in another stall or at the sink I wait until they leave because they could potentially want to make pointless small talk, or if I’m at the sink and someone else flushes the toilet I finish washing my hands quickly and run out before they can open their stall door, I hate the smell of some soaps and hate almost all paper towel textures when they get wet, sometimes they leave a smell too. Oh, walking past elementary school bathrooms are a nightmare because they smell awful all the time.
A Catholic priest friend told me about a couple who didn't want the bells, whistles, and hoo-hah but wanted to get married, not just with the vows but also the Nuptial Mass. He said that if they go through the course and have two witnesses, the registrar and a priest, the rest of the stuff is unnecessary.
They got their wish.
For the post-wedding celebration, they all went off to have a cooked breakfast at a local cafe with the priest and the few friends they wanted.
I remember this clearly because that was what my fiancé (RIP) and I wanted. We wanted to get married but dreaded the very things you described in your video. The thought of the excess, needless sensory overload drove us both mad.
Unfortunately, my fiancé died four months before we were due to get married.
Besides, why do people want to replicate Charles and Diana?? No need.
I agree with you sooooo much and understand every single point you have made only too well.
I myself got married abroad in a small group (8 people including my husband and me). It was so pleasant.
I am undiagnosed, 48 and was only diagnosed with ADHD half a year ago, I have severe depression, PTSD, anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, physical limitations and so on.
Sometimes I think that all of this could have been avoided if I had been tested for autism.
I don't know if I should do it now. I am afraid of the reaction if I have to tell a doctor and he will laugh at me.
When I was diagnosed with ADHD, a lot of people said "oh, then I have it too, everyone has it now".
You get very little understanding when you meet neurotypical people without empathy.
Thank you very much for this channel. I am learning so much from here.
Hahaha in the beginning you remind me of that scene in liar liar where Jim Carrey cannot say that the pen is red😂
Me just screeching at several points in this video because it resonates so much (made a true Velociraptor sound when you said "clothing"). Honestly dont know anything worse than a wedding. Hate dresses & makeup. Hate the weird unplanned food. Hate small talk. Hate being hugged by so many people i barely know. Hate the smell of perfumes and colognes and hair sprays and alcohol. Hate schooling my face through the potential embarrassment of every speech. Hate explaining why i dont drink. Hate having so many photos and videos taken. Add on the extra joy of being aro/ace and having to endure horrid discussions about love lives and human babies. AHHH.
the clothes... the clothes... I have struggled with those my whole life.
I'm instinctively itching just thinking about it 😮💨
Funerals.
Graduation ceremonies.
Face it...any of these things.
I just wanna go home!!!!
I’m with you!
Oh my god the funerals are so horible 😱 like am I suposed to cry in front of everyone to prouve that I'm sad that the person died? I can't even cry in front of my cat! How can I do it in front of people I hardly know or that I don't know? And after that they're all going to tell me or my mother that I don't have a heart and that I'm an horible person... 😭
Usually, when I see these types of videos there's always one or two points I don't relate to as much but GOSH I can relate to every point you mentioned. I've only been to one wedding my entire life when I was a kid (I was the flower girl and the ring bearer at my aunt's wedding) and legit what saved me from going into overload and having a meltdown was that the religious part of the ceremony lasted for so long and it was so boring that the ADHD part of my brain shut down and I legit ended up falling asleep. I think that allowed me to recharge just enough battery to be able to more or less cope with the rest of the day. Still, I hated every second of the time I was awake (including the food, because they didn't have any of my safe foods) and I learned to never set foot in a wedding again. No thank you.
A cafeteria. One where I have never been before. A noisy, busy, confusing mess. I don't know what is being offered, where it is, I feel rushed, confused, pushed, and what do you mean you don't take debit cards? And where is the bathroom.
I love how honest you are. ❤
I was at a wedding only once - and I loved it. We were not at church and after the official procedure (I cried the whole time) we were just eating, talking and went on a nice walk in the woods.
I loved it because it was my moms wedding. She married the love of her live, a great man. For me he was my dad just after a few months we met for the first time. So the wedding meant to me, that my dream of my mom being happy and me having a great family officialy came true.😊
Worst things for me are folk festivals. Here in Germany there is something we call Schützenfest. People just use it for getting drunk and being fu**ing loud. I hate carnival, too. For the same reasons plus very dumb and bad jokes.
Of course I am not going to things like this. But the problem is you can hear the loud and drunken people in the whole village plus the bad music they play. To me these shit is just torture.
ive been to one football game and one school dance (decades before i knew i was autustic). i didnt go to my own highschool or college graduation ceremony. i wish i had watched this video before my own wedding.
I get everything you and the comments said. For me, though, it's anything I'm forced to do or feel obligation to do. I can do most of the things I want to do if it fits in with my needs or if i planned it. Sometimes, if i have a say about it or have the ability to have a veto power. To most stuff, i have to wear the mask. But when i have some kind of power over it, it doesn't drain the battery as fast. Epically, when I don't need the mask, for example, when i have my partner or my sister with me to go to places with its less difficult and I am completely comfortable to be me more than usual when in public places (sometimes in private but crowded family events/functions.) I'm mostly good if its just me and 1 to 2 people in a controlled situation or in a place i choose plus if I have one of my people with me to help navigate it.
Im so grateful for finding you guys channel and the honest content that both of you make. Because it helps me feel like i found a safe space to be me in.
haha the loud talking and laughing is me! I'm sorry, I don't know why that happens but alcohol seems to remove the quietness that comes with my sober personality. I go shrill and free, I can't control it x If it's any consolation I (having autistic traits) get affected by people with loud voices too - I totally feel that awful visceral electric shock through my body when sone happens to have an unusually loud and obnoxious voice. Ah well, I guess such is life...again, my apologies if I annoy anyone autistic with my tipsy talking and laughing!
For my husband it is graduations... he hates the bad music and funeral march that starts it off and people walk soooo slow and there is all the constant yelling, clapping, and whistling. The ear piercing whistles are the worst for him. They come all of a sudden out of the blue since you don't know who belongs to who and when it, the whistle, happens he wants to punch people in the face... it hurts his brain.... instead of bourbon he is now having popcorn after this post to cope... (this post has been approved by my husband)
High school football games... I was in the marching band and actually couldn't understand a thing about the game... Still cannot watch more than 5 minutes of football on TV, but love watching a golf match 😮😊
Children's birthday parties... I love kids and all (I even have one!), but they don't usually go off without a hitch .. And the noises... It makes me go temporarily dululu...
It's much worse if they're at a bowling alley or batting cage.. Or even if at the bowling alley for a date and the next lane over is a kid's party... Not good lol. The high, non-pubertized voices feel like shards of glass in my ears and pricklies on my neck.
Also on my NO list: grocery stores... Any kind, they're all awful. Thank goodness for shop from home!
I usually politely decline wedding invites and stuff like that, now that I know I don't actually have to accept. I don't think my friends actually how real the struggle is inside for me.
Yes yes yes!! This is so true! I love this comment so much I’m going to add it to my list for videos. Be sure to check out that video about birthdays when I make it cuz I’ll give you a shoutout in it. Thanks for posting!
@@ChrisandDebby thank you so much Chris and Debby! I relate your experiences in such an insanely similar way.... At this point, your videos are like a kind of medicine for me; I love them all and your raw honesty is just so refreshing (as many others I'm sure would agree!)! I'm honored that you liked my comment and of course I'll stand by for your next video!!
Kat
🩵🩵🩵
non pubertized voices get me too
@@tracirex really nice to not be alone in that regard... But I totally feel your pain
Don't forget the limited food selections - if they don't fit in with your acceptable range, you're out of luck. The dinners have always been torture.
Verh funny I needed a good laugh! Last wedding was 10 years ago, my student so had to go, I predicted it would last
I also hate weddings and did not want one. Thankfully my (now) husband was fine with that. We went downtown and got married by the justice of the peace. Highly recommend!!! And yes, the public dancing- the worst.
That’s what we did!!
Similar vibe was my HS reunion... for the last one we were in a hotel bar, the local team was on the tv & the place was a huge glassed in conservatory style that allowed the volumes to get cacophonous - it was horrendous. There was most of the awfulness of weddings for sure - and these are people we grew up with and haven't seen for a while... just UNGH!!! That said - I am thrilled I went as I ran into some great friends a few I've now connected with in our wiser years
State Fairs are hell on earth. When i was a kid the school would give out free passes to the students. I never understood why all my friends in school loved going to it. When I had gone I always had bad times and didn't know why it felt so bad. I always struggled to articulate to others how it made me feel.
Also don't watch the news when they are in town. Every ... single.... year there is a story about someone being stabbed at the fair. That just reinforces my fear and loathing.
Your descriptions are so on point!!! 😅😅😂
The road to hell was paved with the cha cha slide and maintained by you shook me all night long..
This one really got me 😂😂😂
Oh my!!! I literally thought to myself this morning that weddings are an absolute nightmare. Great timing on finding this video! 👍
Omg ! This made me laugh so hard! Aunt Susie…I just lost it! I’m not autistic but I relate to every single example you stated. Hmmm. 🤔 Maybe I AM autistic!? 😂
Oh... such a great video. I can't really add anything about weddings... just +1 from me to all of that. Someone else mentioned graduations... basically, all ceremonies. I just don't like ceremony in general. Maybe the only thing I can think of... these things also make time slow down which makes the pain even worse.
What is worse for me... and I think I have mentioned a bit related to the dentist... but any medical procedure. SO HORRIBLE. And even worse... anesthesia wears off on me about 5x faster than normal people. One that I will mention... I had LASIK surgery. Everything had wore off by the time they got to my 2nd eye. It was very much not so good at all. And talk about vulnerability... I feel that so much about the bathrooms... but being sedated and naked with people cutting me (this wasn't the LASIK)... the last thing I had, they said they were only going to give me twilight meds and I wouldn't remember it... they had to give me general anesthesia and knocked me out because my brain was like "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!" I wouldn't shut up during the procedure. So, they knocked me out.
Now... I was very happy to see the bourbon. What were you sipping on there? If you ever decide to have talks with others, whiskey is a special interest of mine. I am not good at talking with people until I get into my special interests... and I can talk about whiskey all day. In fact, one hour ago I got home from having 8 bottles in my collection signed by the master distiller.
Urgh yess you know exactly how I feel about weddings. Thanks!
Cheers, so true.
AGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was a WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER for over 20 years! I was VERY GOOD AT IT, because I was in my CAPTURE THE HEART OF THE MOMENT HAT! .......... I have stopped doing this type of 📸 photography because frankly there is NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO COMPENSATE FOR THE WORK!
I HAD to be a GUEST, last fall..... at a wedding..... IT WAS TORTURE, and I am also a recovered alcoholic ~~~~~ WEDDINGS are a WASTE OF MONEY, ENERGY, and TIME~~~~ I AGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I do go hide in public bathrooms for a break. Hate using them, but it is a good place to hide where's it's rude to intrude. Can only do it for a small amount of time though, which sucks. Panic attacks suck. Outside is better if you can make it work. Used to take lunch braks in my car... Maybe that's a better option🤔 And hide, so people don't wonder why I'm hiding in my car. Honestly... Think I'll just be so busy the day of your wedding. Just... There's plenty of other people there, please have fun
I hate going to weddings too!
I am 13 years old and I actually said the same thing I said you know what my ideal wedding would be some homemade pizza some cake some music we invite a few friends and that is it and we dress up formal
That sounds like the kind of wedding I’d wanna show up to🍕🍕
Yes! Yes! Yes!
This video is sniiiiice 😂❤
I always thought I would enjoy a *small* pajama wedding with tea and coffee, board games, and people could bring a dish to pass or a snack like a regular party (I personally like alcohol too but absolutely no drinking games, those are both boring and stressful). Play some calming folk at a low volume in the background. Have different rooms people can escape to for quiet. Screw the rules about spending a shit ton of money and dressing in uncomfortable clothes. It's supposed to be the happiest day of your life. It should be relaxing.
I also have a ton of uh, bathroom anxiety, and I can't be wearing layers upon layers of restrictive clothes that I can't maneuver in. All I can think about all night is how stressful it will be when I finally have to go.
I love the sound of your wedding!! My kind of setup. I know what you mean about the bathroom stuff too! I also have severe bathroom anxiety! I can only use my own bathroom
FUNERALS. They are as awful, if not more so than a wedding imo. Cause at least at a wedding you can fidget and move a bit by the end cause everyone is drunk and there’s so much noise.
And pretending to be happy and having fun is SO much easier than pretending to be the correct amount of sad. Happy = smile, laugh lots. Sad? Sad is crying? Sad is stoic? How do you make your face sad and it doesn’t feel like you’re acting?
And usually there is no partaking of the alcoholic drink at funerals (unless your family has either insane or fun deviant aunt/uncle). Unless you want to fill that role and bring a flask for yourself?
I don’t love drinking, but dang does it take the edge off of caring about what other people think about whether I am being a human correctly or not.
Anyway. Thank you for coming to my TED talk, I shall continue lurking. 🫡
Yep, the food stresses me out - why can't burgers and chips be a thing at weddings? The small talk, trying to hear people speaking to you when there's loads of other conversations going on in the background. I'm fortunate being Scottish, because a wedding is an excuse to put on the kilt, which is always fun, but the jacket is off and the shirt untucked the second it's semi-acceptable to do so. People forcing you to go up and dance. URGH. I actually had to pull out of the last wedding I was invited to because after 2 years of avoiding it, I managed to get COVID a few days before. I swear I didn't do it on purpose, but it was such a relief when I realised I couldn't go.
The one benefit to getting Covid!! 😂😂 If I did wedding, we’d grill 🍔
Im soooo with u on it all
I was in my wedding dress sitting on front steps of reception hall to escape it all and also said no when someone tinked the glasses and we were eating i had had it, one too many of that business of glass tinking for us to kiss so weddings including mine....pass
My dog is elderly now so I have a valid excuse to be staying home from an upcoming wedding in the family. My husband decided he is going to go so they get one of us, I am not leaving this house nope.
Weddings is SUCKS!
I am Brazilian. Weddings are some of the most controlled social functions there can be. I do not like them for the most part, but things can get waaaay worse. A simple lunch on Sunday at grandma's can become a huge thing that extends beyond the evening. Different groups of people come and go and for some reason enough people have instruments that an impromptu band can be formed and then neighbors come along. It's fantastic. 100% do not recommend.
❤
😢birthday parties for myself
💯
Snice! ♥ it! I hate weddings too, but since my diagnosis I won't go, explaining that "You're biologically incapable of understanding how unpleasant that is for me". But there is something worse. Cèilidhs (pronounced kaylee). If you hear that word.. RUN!
Church!!!
Wow, i think you have annoyingly common friends and family. I've been to like 3 weddings that were like that, and even then, most of them were outside and did NOT have loud music. Before I got married for the first time, i went to a wedding at a local commune because I figured i should see one before I had one. It was outside and really sweet, mostly ppl from the commune or friends of them. it was halfway through before it dawned to me that a lesbian wedding might not be seen by some as a great role model for my wedding! this was at least 5 years before gay wedding was legal there.
my first wedding was outside until it rained, but it was in our yard, so we moved into the house with the doors open. I'd hired a hammer dulcimer player for the event and they were out on the front porch and when they took a break 2 of my friends played their dulcimer. My mom made teh food and i got to see friends i hadnt seen in forever.
My 2nd wedding was also at home, but i lived in a townhouse then. The only people there were my kids, 2 of husband's siblings w their families, my sister, mom and moms' bf. My mom did the food. We picked out breads and cheeses. It was just a family gathering.
and both times it was a civic officiant. totally chill.
Your weddings sound awesome! That’s how you do it
Brother.
Dont sell us out its hard enough
Funerals suck! For many of the same reasons. Only... The person it's for doesn't even know you're there, so... why? Also. People that didn't like the person all of a sudden pretend they do! Freaking lies! If you didn't like me, and I didn't like you... don't pretend you did at my funeral! I don't want a funeral. Come to my funeral and I'm going to haunt you, if at all possible. But won't happen. Cause I'm not having one. And I'm not coming to yours. Because they're uncomfortable, I don't like them, I might not like you, and if I did... I'm going to mourn you alone in my own more meaningful way. It's closer and more intimate too. And I won't have to see your frenemies being fake. Screw funerals. And no they don't look nice. Is rather my last memories be of having fun with you, or sharing intimate moments. Not you in a casket. You're welcome.
Workplace is the worst, it used to be school but now that i'm an adult definitely the workplace, a place where you're forced to be every day 8 hours a day until you get old or sick because you won't have a home/ food /water all the necessities for survival and comfort, it's the worst system of organisation of society to live in. And my body just can't take being blackmailed for survival. I'd rather have civilization start over 🌋than participating nor perpetuating an enslaving one.
It can be awful, especially if you’re working a job that hurts your brain and body. Autistics do really well at certain jobs and do even better when they can be their own bosses. I’m going to be making more videos about work for autistics.
Weddings are my version of HELL. So are concerts. Absolutely NOT.
nah concert is different energy. would never go alone, but love concert over wedding
I’d do a concert over a wedding for sure, but it has to be the right kind of concert (love the Messiah… not sure if that counts as a concert) and has to be with my wife. I’ve never enjoyed a wedding and I’ll probably never attend another.
I avoid them, I don´t even go to friends weddings 😅 Should I feel bad?
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Weddings are the worst and the best. The worst because of all the social and peopling, small talk, loud unexpected noises, intense visual stimulation, boring AF speeches (people who have weddings and let the speeches go for more then 20 minutes total, there's a special place in hell for you, selfish mother f*ckers), having to stay up past my bedtime, uncomfortable clothes, getting too hot or cold, sweating through my clothes because Im anxious AF. The only time weddings can be the best is the dancing (and I know this is a minority opinion), but as a lady in her 40s there is no where age appropriate to go shake your ass to somw banging tunes, EXCEPT weddings! That being said I went to a wedding in the Fall and the brides had terrible taste in music, and even the dancing was trash. BUT it was during a hurricane so with the power outage a lot of teh terrible wedding things likw too loud and too bright were impossible 👌
Yes about the things you mentioned being hard about weddings! But that’s great that the dancing is fun for you - the proximity of other people and erratic movements and smells and spilling drinks make the dancing hard, even though the movement might be good for my brain in other settings. I feel like having a trampoline would help a lot. The hurricane wedding sounds like an experience - IF you were there with the right people 😂
As a late-diagnosed AuDHD-er and recovering wedding photographer, I have to agree!