There's more to life than being happy | Emily Esfahani Smith | TED

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  • čas přidán 25. 09. 2017
  • Our culture is obsessed with happiness, but what if there's a more fulfilling path? Happiness comes and goes, says writer Emily Esfahani Smith, but having meaning in life -- serving something beyond yourself and developing the best within you -- gives you something to hold onto. Learn more about the difference between being happy and having meaning as Smith offers four pillars of a meaningful life.
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Komentáře • 2,7K

  • @jameskrell4392
    @jameskrell4392 Před 4 lety +2607

    George Orwell wrote about this 70 years ago. "Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness."

    • @duggydugg3937
      @duggydugg3937 Před 3 lety +9

      Orwell knew what it was going to be like... CBD Central Bank Dynasty is bringing it all to reality...

    • @nooneknowsmehhhh
      @nooneknowsmehhhh Před 3 lety +15

      The Apostle Muhammad knows this 1,400 years before George Orwell 😂😂Muslim children also know that, they memorize this verse: "And I did not create the jinn and mankind except that they may worship Me" 👏

    • @duggydugg3937
      @duggydugg3937 Před 3 lety +28

      @@nooneknowsmehhhh
      all religions are loaded with pagan superstitions..
      gratitude can be observed whether you are religious or not.. thank the lord or the universe...pray to find your strength.. nothing else matters

    • @nooneknowsmehhhh
      @nooneknowsmehhhh Před 3 lety +3

      Duggy Dugg Don't talk like this about Islam and you haven't read about it ever. u won't find effects of pray on body or mind like muslims prays. i know u don't believe in this thing but try to read about it from a scientific point of view. AND of course ‏watch out for religious prejudice

    • @duggydugg3937
      @duggydugg3937 Před 3 lety +16

      @@nooneknowsmehhhh
      Norah
      i'm not picking on any one religion..
      my opinion is they all contain too many pagan rituals and superstitions..
      i am non religious.. but I probably say thank you lord (universe) at least 4 or 5 times a day.. for eyesight.. the ability to walk.. the life I had with my wife... her sister's family..
      my 'religion' if you will, has one or two principles.. do unto others etc
      and be helpful to others and the environment..
      only one prayer.. let me find my strength
      one of my desires is to reveal the CBD.. central bank dynasty.. for the debt monsters they are .. endangering the planet with criminal debt tactics... such as lending bogus scrip money to gvts.. as if it were legitimate fiat currency originated by real government departments....
      maybe CZcams will help.........

  • @bellak2040
    @bellak2040 Před 5 lety +1354

    Happiness comes and goes
    Having meaning gives something hold on to

  • @ferjitsu9560
    @ferjitsu9560 Před 3 lety +1821

    I never searched for hapinnes, I always followed my heart. For that reason I lived in 4 different countries, speak 4 languages, meet people with very different ideology than mine and worked hard. I also quit some jobs because I thought I wasn't adding something to the world.
    I'm poor, I live in a very old and not good house, but I'm happy, I'm doing something good and never ever felt depressed during my journey. And trust me, was tough, a tough journey...

    • @superbeef1337
      @superbeef1337 Před 3 lety +43

      Wow at leas you are allowed to learn foreign languages and let alone live in different country! This is such a privilege.

    • @sw3tfilth207
      @sw3tfilth207 Před 3 lety +5

      How it’s going

    • @dimplemahtani7034
      @dimplemahtani7034 Před 3 lety +7

      FerJitsu is stupid
      -anonymous

    • @UPAKHOSALA
      @UPAKHOSALA Před 3 lety +18

      Thank you for sharing, Happiness is within your self find it inside urself not outside

    • @tedderchan4337
      @tedderchan4337 Před 3 lety +3

      I think China is your destination . here u can get what u want

  • @vijaisuraj4700
    @vijaisuraj4700 Před 3 lety +1289

    10 minutes of speech, but how long did it take to realise this. Respect. Respect.

    • @alicjaruiz1317
      @alicjaruiz1317 Před 3 lety +29

      Life is a series of learning lessons.

    • @someonesomeone25
      @someonesomeone25 Před 3 lety +7

      I have learned nothing much. And it wasn't enough to justify the suffering.

    • @xCLOWNPIE
      @xCLOWNPIE Před 3 lety +4

      @@alicjaruiz1317 I like what you said

    • @rafiakase8940
      @rafiakase8940 Před 3 lety

      Maybe u do learn about the Theory Maslow (i mean self tendence )

    • @mariagh4122
      @mariagh4122 Před 3 lety +6

      @@someonesomeone25 I have felt that way at some point of my life--that suffering was unnecessary, purposeless. What could I have possibly learned from losing my boyfriend at 18 when he was driving 300 miles to go see me for the weekend as a surprise and a truck hit the car where he was sitting (not driving!)? Nothing. Just pain, pain, pain. And I understand there is more pain than that. So yes, I get your message.

  • @juhithavaddineni1092
    @juhithavaddineni1092 Před 5 lety +374

    pillars
    1. Belonging/love
    2. Purpose
    3. Transcendence
    4. Story you tell about yourself to yourself

  • @drewblackwell8465
    @drewblackwell8465 Před 5 lety +401

    I teared up when she said that her father wanted his last words on earth to be his children's names. Such a powerful anecdote. Loved how that made me feel.

    • @jeandupont8501
      @jeandupont8501 Před 3 lety +1

      What if you fail to have children then.

    • @drewblackwell8465
      @drewblackwell8465 Před 3 lety +7

      @@jeandupont8501 I don’t understand your question.

    • @Scott82N
      @Scott82N Před 3 lety +6

      @@jeandupont8501 I would repeat my mother's name .

    • @StevenT2
      @StevenT2 Před 5 měsíci

      @@jeandupont8501 His purpose was his children. You find other purposes for yourself.

  • @captainwave5172
    @captainwave5172 Před 3 lety +183

    People confuse happiness with fun and materialistic life. That's why we end up unhappy.

    • @someonesomeone25
      @someonesomeone25 Před 3 lety

      I have no meaning, and very little happiness. Its sucky.

    • @captainwave5172
      @captainwave5172 Před 3 lety +4

      @@someonesomeone25 if you can't find anything good that makes you happy when you do it then help others as that gives the most happiness.

    • @someonesomeone25
      @someonesomeone25 Před 3 lety

      @@captainwave5172 Helping others doesn't bring me happiness.

    • @captainwave5172
      @captainwave5172 Před 3 lety +5

      @@someonesomeone25 Try once again and try to know why and then be your own therapist using your brain. Reduce distractions, close your eyes, focus on one sound and be mindful. Happiness is inside us not outside. Know your horoscope sign and search their likes and dislikes and
      implement but always use your brain for you are unique and every situation is so too. Good luck

    • @someonesomeone25
      @someonesomeone25 Před 3 lety +1

      @@captainwave5172 Why try what has never worked before in the past? That makes no sense. Repeating the exact same thing hoping and for a different result is a waste of time.
      As for introspscting why helping brings me no happiness, I feel there are three main reasons: I am too unhappy in myself to be able to gain vicarious pleasure from the joy of others; I am inwardly bitter and angry at how people have treated me through my life so a part of me wants others to suffer; and I get very stressed and anxious easily making any many acts, esp social or work based acts, an unpleasurable negative experience. I am not able to enjoy helping others until these issues are resolved. But I cannot resolve them no matter what I do.

  • @nandamaharjan2985
    @nandamaharjan2985 Před 4 lety +547

    I have been searching for the meaning of life since I came to know about life. Every word she spoke was what I discovered as well. Life in itself has no meaning, it’s empty. It is about what we fill in with in that empty space.

    • @dearmoon6418
      @dearmoon6418 Před 3 lety +8

      Agree with u..It's meaningless..

    • @killahnan
      @killahnan Před 3 lety +16

      Think about it the fact that you believe it is meaningless gives it, it’s meaning...it’s a sandbox, meant for you to develop, experience and materialize your highest possible self

    • @sarahsiddiqua5296
      @sarahsiddiqua5296 Před 3 lety +3

      📮dear please recite the noble holy quran u will find peace and meaning also and it's my challenge for u whatever she said it's temporary motivation after somedays u will get back into anxiety depression actually wht's the reason behind this depression is that ur soul want peace ur soul willing to connect with true God and our true creator true God is only allah . please feed ur soul as ur feeding ur body and the food of our soul is zikr practice precautions from bad things connect with our true merciful God allah the only on who make everything don't tell lie to urself by giving ur own titles like mental health stigma Blah blah 😏

    • @lirui6388
      @lirui6388 Před 3 lety

      You're so right.

    • @ishusingh7859
      @ishusingh7859 Před 3 lety

      What are you saying she didn't tell a word about meaning of life all she said is way to be happy

  • @J_131
    @J_131 Před 6 lety +723

    Shortly after turning 30, I had a serious existential crisis. I for the first time in my life felt that "fleeting" sensation. The topic of me one day dying was suddenly real. I know 30 is still relatively young, but I started to realize how with age, years seem to go by faster and faster, and it started to feel that instead of coasting to my later years, I was accelerating towards them. I thought it was dying I was afraid of, but I was wrong. It wasn't my fear of dying, it was my fear of dying and not having lived a meaningful life. THAT is what kept me up at night. I knew death is inescapable, but now I was frantically trying to figure out what I was going to do with whatever time I had left on this earth. The anxiety was bad, I mean, really really bad. I stopped caring for virtually every aspect of my life. Things that would normally excite me lost all significance. I kept asking "Why?" Why does any of this matter. I had no focal point.
    Shortly after, my mom almost died of a brain hemorrhage, the type with a very low survival rate. Miraculously, she survived, but not before three agonizing weeks in the hospital, and another two in rehabilitation centers. Seeing her fight so hard to stay alive made me snap out of it. I still don't know yet what my meaning is, but I know my mom had hers. It was being there for her family. In time I know I will come to understand what makes my life meaningful, until then, I appreciate every day that I wake up, and try and find the extraordinary in the ordinary. I found that traveling really reminded me of just how big the world is, and also, how small it it. So much to see still.

    • @amyfreeman6364
      @amyfreeman6364 Před 5 lety +13

      That's a very interesting perspective on life. I'm glad your mum survived that ordeal, it must have been hard for you. In terms of a meaning for life, i would advocate christianity, but of course you might have your objections :)

    • @heyyou3609
      @heyyou3609 Před 5 lety +22

      This comment made me cry 😅 Thank you for sharing this!!

    • @sarmiladas9734
      @sarmiladas9734 Před 5 lety +11

      I am going through the same phase as you😊

    • @smiletheproblemsaway
      @smiletheproblemsaway Před 5 lety +6

      @@sarmiladas9734 We all are and will be thinking about this at one point of our lifes, we´ll also come to learn to live in a simple and peacefull life with ourselfs like op did... and we´ll be listening until the time comes :v

    • @bellak2040
      @bellak2040 Před 5 lety +8

      When i turned 40 i went through same thing. I've tried to find meaning of my life. But its not easy.

  • @zareh805
    @zareh805 Před 6 lety +772

    I can't say how many times I've felt completely depressed asking myself "Is this all there is?"

    • @mahtazdin
      @mahtazdin Před 6 lety +13

      Me too

    • @voltaire7297
      @voltaire7297 Před 6 lety +10

      Too true man, too true...

    • @aarohivijh
      @aarohivijh Před 6 lety +10

      Zareh, I don't she covers the universe of what it means to be human. I believe there is much more.

    • @NoOneAtAll666
      @NoOneAtAll666 Před 5 lety +4

      I feel you bro

    • @safinaila4951
      @safinaila4951 Před 5 lety +13

      my advice would be search and learn maybe you'll find the answer after all you are not the first person to ask this question and certainly not the last one ...good luck ♡

  • @willians256
    @willians256 Před 3 lety +228

    My notes:
    Happiness is not everything but also a live with meaning:
    A live with meaning means:
    1.-Belonging: Relationship
    2.-Purpose: Using your strengths to serve others
    3.-Trascendence state: That kind of things in which you have so much passion, that you lose all sense of time and place
    4.-Storytelling: You can edit, interpret and retell your story

  • @headlessguy98
    @headlessguy98 Před 3 lety +337

    "Doesn't eternity get boring?"
    "Not when your life has meaning"

    • @vithorpileco
      @vithorpileco Před 3 lety +29

      Eternity kills meaning. They can't coexist.

    • @mrinchanvlogs
      @mrinchanvlogs Před 3 lety +9

      @@vithorpileco if you feeling meaning in something you can go on doing it forever, it never gets old and not any amount of it feels enough as you could do it infinitely
      for example for me the transcendence pillar is looking at the sun setting into the ocean, i would be happy to live for as long as i could experience that

    • @haveaniceday846
      @haveaniceday846 Před 3 lety +2

      You deserve more likes

    • @gargeedixit1960
      @gargeedixit1960 Před 3 lety +7

      But the inevitability of death gives life meaning. As stated you may be content or happy in your ideal version of eternity but being content also has its limit...
      (Not trying to sound rude just unconfidently stating my opinion)

    • @maxterw1583
      @maxterw1583 Před 2 lety +2

      Isn't this from guardians of galaxy..I just re-watched it yesterday and ego said something along those lines..Oh wait, this just seems like a common expression

  • @wooeym
    @wooeym Před 6 lety +293

    I think you just saved my life.

  • @quantum_man
    @quantum_man Před rokem +8

    One of the most powerful, valuable and important TED Talks of all time. Perfect delivery by a young lady who is exemplifies Meaning and Purpose in both a passionate and compassionate way. Genuine and authentic.

  • @temporarilyblond
    @temporarilyblond Před 3 lety +60

    The story of her father saying their names brought tears to my eyes.

  • @divyajosephinejoseph2869
    @divyajosephinejoseph2869 Před 3 lety +531

    This was all I needed to hear, strutting endlessly trying to do yet another day. This video spoke volumes. Thanks!

    • @jeromeduque2511
      @jeromeduque2511 Před 3 lety +1

      I feel you Divya

    • @renjithdevassy9013
      @renjithdevassy9013 Před 3 lety +2

      എവിടെ ഒക്കെയായി ഒരു മലയാളം ടച്ച്‌? 🙄🙄🙄

    • @NAVAP_IAS
      @NAVAP_IAS Před 3 lety +1

      Same feeling here Divya.

    • @martenmarten9534
      @martenmarten9534 Před 3 lety

      My friend, I offer you the most beautiful human values ​​that humanity has ever heard. The beauty of his words and the support of logic and reason to him. And his answers to the inquiries of the soul makes the soul feel happiness that it has never found before and is not bored of it, and the appearance of tears of joy from the West to hear it attracts the souls of those seeking happiness to hear it. Thank you.

    • @03jan23
      @03jan23 Před 3 lety +1

      I am also. Just asked God what is your plan for me about a minute ago. I am thankful He heard me

  • @olliele7119
    @olliele7119 Před 4 lety +69

    The more time passes, the more I feel grateful I listened to this Talk.

  • @wilhelmcooning
    @wilhelmcooning Před 6 lety +303

    Yeah, it was a little saccharine, but I don't think you can talk about this subject and not sound a little corny. She made excellent points, the role of purpose and storytelling are things I don't consider often enough in my life... All I'd add is that you've got to enjoy the small things. When Warren Zevon was asked how cancer had changed his world view, he stated that his imminent death had illustrated how much he should 'try to enjoy every sandwich'. That's advice I will take to my grave. It's not the same as transcendence, as it takes far less effort, but I believe it can hold a consistently larger pay off. I try to enjoy each meal, each human interaction, each album I listen to, each beer, each snooze... It doesn't always work, but they all take such little effort it hardly matters.

    • @jendrikmann6944
      @jendrikmann6944 Před 6 lety +1

      Will X zevon

    • @jishnuchatterjee6517
      @jishnuchatterjee6517 Před 6 lety +5

      That's a nice expression, 'saccharine'. It's the first time I'm coming across it. Also, isn't it awfully hard trying to be constantly grateful & happy? Doesn't a large part of being grateful and happy involve making a conscious decision? So it must get tiring trying to remind yourself to constantly appreciate everything. Because let's face it, a lot of moments are genuinely crap. And it takes a lot of effort to be happy about anything at that point of time.

    • @pathfinder1273
      @pathfinder1273 Před 6 lety +2

      +Will X It only sounds corny if you don't believe it or if you are more concerned with others' perceptions of you for saying them. These things are more real and profound than we can ever imagine. If they sound corny, they have not been properly understood.

    • @starrix4712
      @starrix4712 Před 4 lety

      As someone with depression, you’re lucky if you can drown yourself in dopamine. Sounds like heaven or spirituality. Oh ... or were you ironically too afraid to say upfront that it would lead to mental health issues. So much for the pretentious intellectuals on here who once again ironically care too much about what others do and think...

  • @aeydra
    @aeydra Před 3 lety +143

    Knowing WHAT the pillars are is easy, knowing HOW to achieve them is the hard part...

    • @lirui6388
      @lirui6388 Před 3 lety +5

      Wow,how to access is the most difficult part.

    • @ovencake523
      @ovencake523 Před 3 lety +3

      I've read Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life and it shows how Christianity grasps all four of these pillars so miraculously.
      She talked about how love is the thing that gives meaning, and Jesus said the greatest commandment was to love. I used to think that Christianity was just a bunch of morally good rules I should follow to be a good person but it's so much more than that!

  • @dieuphanhoang2630
    @dieuphanhoang2630 Před 2 lety +5

    two words "love unconditionally" and that's is truly happiness

  • @Hwoman1123
    @Hwoman1123 Před 6 lety +150

    be crazy, make mistakes, expect, love, loose, cry, be angry, be sad, learn, improve, be crazy again, dont expect, makes mmistakes, stay prepared to face the consequence, enjoy little things, be carefree.... look back, remember, realize, laugh at your past,..
    thats Life with Happiness

  • @Ikbob11
    @Ikbob11 Před 5 lety +14

    For me it was in my third year of college. I had just moved out of mom's house and living in a city I had never been to with a roommate I just met. Then I got slammed with an existential crisis that shook the foundations of my very being, more specifically questioning my beliefs (religious and otherwise). I searched desperately trying to figure out what was wrong, but could only crash and burn. I failed my first semester of university (after two years of community college) because I ended up sleeping 15 hours a day, and playing video games for the rest. I went back home to live with mom again and try to think through things. I went to a couple of therapists, which helped, but they didn't have the answer I searched for.
    Finally, I looked back on my life to see what went wrong and realized something sobering. My entire teenage years and adult life up to that point were completely wasted. All I did was seek out pleasure in the moment and put up with what I was forced to do to be "successful." I went to school with a few vague ideas of what I wanted to do and thought that was all I needed. I was wrong, I was lazy.
    I sat down and thought about what really mattered in my life and finally decided on a purpose that is getting me through the rest of school right now. For my dream to work, I need a Bachelor's Degree. And I'm going to get it because now I have something that I am working towards that will benefit both myself and the people I will be helping. The only thing I am missing is money to get started and a degree so that I can go to Japan to work as an Assistant Language Teacher in a Japanese school helping kids learn English. I love Japan and I couldn't believe that I would be able to make money while exploring a country that I love, and I will also get to leave a mark on its future by helping lead children!

  • @user-un3po3jb4l
    @user-un3po3jb4l Před 3 lety +32

    I wept. The words touched my heart so much. There is indeed more to life than happiness. And, I wish my children more than just happiness.

  • @DavidDiaz-hh5ld
    @DavidDiaz-hh5ld Před rokem +9

    Very MEANINGFUL TED talk. Every word, every second of this presentation was well thought and delivered with simple language and purpose. The facts, the stats, the stories to exemplify your message, and the whole spectrum of Existentialism that you were able to articulate in just 12 minutes…Bravo!!!
    Thank you Emily, you have all my respect and admiration 🙏🏼

  • @mohelism
    @mohelism Před 5 lety +100

    This is literally life-changing.

    • @zaraiwzara
      @zaraiwzara Před 2 lety +1

      I first thought in my life that life was meaningless, because there is no natural meaning to it, and humans humans were just free in the universe and could do whatever they wanted, but then i realised, that if a god existing is enogh to make life have meaning, was because he had a purpose for you, and then i realised that you are the maximum authority of your body and mind, you decide what the purpose of your life will be, the instrument of what end, what end will your body and mind serve and have served from the moment you are born, to the moment you die, be it for better or worse

    • @threefelonycharges
      @threefelonycharges Před 3 měsíci

      not really

  • @LifeInTheEast
    @LifeInTheEast Před 4 lety +14

    This is an eternal topic,for all these lost and confused people, including myself. the more you think, the deeper you sink in it.

  • @bingbhev5958
    @bingbhev5958 Před 4 lety +107

    Watching this in this time of covid pandemic gives light to go on with life.

  • @avantikasharma3238
    @avantikasharma3238 Před 4 lety +13

    I guess to basically arrive at these 4 pillars of purpose would have taken in a lot of experience, pain, adventure, practice and thought. I can't be grateful enough for bringing it to us in a 12 minute video. You are basically helping people self actualize. Thanks a lot.

  • @nanettej9760
    @nanettej9760 Před 4 lety +136

    Happiness in life: It comes from meaning. And meaning comes from belonging to and serving something beyond yourself. And from developing the best from within you.

    • @lovepeaceisneverguaranteed7385
      @lovepeaceisneverguaranteed7385 Před 4 lety

      Well said but if happiness have something to do with money then forget about it anyways.

    • @ramaraksha01
      @ramaraksha01 Před 3 lety

      serving something beyond yourself - like maybe Doctors without Borders? or front-line workers risking their lives fighting Covid19? You think they are happy?
      There is a disconnect here

    • @carole1878
      @carole1878 Před 3 lety

      You can't go in your past and change it. That is Dishonesty. Meaning show you the way

    • @StevenT2
      @StevenT2 Před 5 měsíci

      @@ramaraksha01 the best job for you isn't best for everyone else and vice versa. When you have a higher purpose to serve others, you are less stuck with thinking about the self.

    • @ramaraksha01
      @ramaraksha01 Před 5 měsíci

      @@StevenT2 yes & what do the top 2 religions preach? Run away from real life, think only of yourself, run far away from hearing the cries of pain & suffering from even their OWN loved ones!
      They could be starving, sick, homeless,,caught in a war facing rape, torture! But good news! We don't care anymore!
      All they care about is how happy THEY will be, how wonderful heaven will be, see all their DEAD loved ones again!
      LIVING loved ones starving, homeless, facing rape? Who cares!
      .
      This is why Hinduism preaches Reincarnation - because it is here that you Give
      And what is God? God is a Giver - so many pray to him
      When we Give, we follow in the footsteps of God, make him proud!
      And in heaven shameless people are takers! Eternal Takers!
      .
      But alas, our hindu skin is dark - our ideas looked down upon
      So much Racism in this world!

  • @Anna13Tonks
    @Anna13Tonks Před 6 lety +88

    The story about her father made me cry. That was such a good speech.

    • @TheAskald
      @TheAskald Před 6 lety +1

      It was bs tho, he survived because the surgeons did their fucking job.
      And the drama wasn't necessary to her speech.

    • @HEZO0
      @HEZO0 Před 6 lety

      Yes, you're right. It was very touching and meaningful 💖

    • @lovepreetsinghsherry7168
      @lovepreetsinghsherry7168 Před 6 lety

      Anna Does Things

  • @filipegusmao915
    @filipegusmao915 Před 4 lety +20

    One of the best TED Talks that I have ever seen

  • @theglitchyspeck
    @theglitchyspeck Před 3 lety +15

    Such poetry in your speech, Emily. The sufi philosophy is truly reflective in the way you communicate. I felt empowered listening to this and more than that, felt the power of all the pillars mentioned. Hearing your father's story teared me up. Immense respect. Thank you for this talk, Emily and TED!❤️

  • @inceleni
    @inceleni Před 2 lety +6

    I am currently reading Elif Şafak’s Love, so i’m quite engaged with sufism. I am so grateful that this video came upto me. And her father telling his children’s names like a mantra made me broke into tears. There’s love and kindness in this planet. Thank you.

  • @cherylmh4617
    @cherylmh4617 Před 3 lety +25

    After turning age 57 this past year, that life’s purpose we have been conditioned to understand for generations is “happiness.” I was on a constant chase to find happy, then I couldn’t maintain this happy state, so I am off searching once again. This became a lifetime of living in a revolving door. If I didn’t feel or have happiness in my life, it was a self-inflicted feeling of failure. Happiness arrives after we understand our purpose & meaning as to what we are here on this earth to do. Purpose IS my purpose ON purpose! Excellent!!!

    • @JDog2656
      @JDog2656 Před 2 lety +1

      Would you say that parenting is a purpose? She mentions this in a video, but I've actually been questioning whether or not that's really something to fixate your life on. Don't get me wrong, family and kids is a great thing to have, but I think parenting is more akin to a job. A beautiful and important job, but still a job. It has an endpoint and it never goes the way you think it will. Purpose is a lifelong thing that can follow you until the very end. That's just my thought anyway.

    • @andreeaduta3475
      @andreeaduta3475 Před 8 měsíci

      @@JDog2656there’s more than parenting in itself, it’s your legacy… it’s forever fruitful and you’ll always benefit from the knowing you’ve left something behind and you’ve created a trail of eternal love.

    • @JDog2656
      @JDog2656 Před 8 měsíci

      @@andreeaduta3475 I guess, legacy isn’t really something that applies to kids too often. Who we are and what we do is not always dependent on your parents or anyone who came before us. That’s more of a choice. I’m not defined by them

  • @vishal_pho3nix
    @vishal_pho3nix Před 3 lety +21

    I realised all this 4 years back after reading an awesomely amazing, 2 dollar book "Karmayoga" by Swami Vivekananda.(Book is a 100-150 page reading, but gives you more than you can imagine)
    Happiness was never the end goal, even meaning was not.
    Life is all about finding answers and achieving a state of liberation from worldly entanglements while being humane.

  • @elliotbrittain2064
    @elliotbrittain2064 Před 3 lety +19

    This is a great TED Talk! I think she is spot on about happiness and the need to having purpose.

  • @sri6567
    @sri6567 Před 3 lety +6

    When she said “chasing happiness can make people unhappy” I felt my heart sink so low because that’s basically my life for as long as I can remember
    I wish I would be more free in my mind

    • @valenciaandrew3355
      @valenciaandrew3355 Před 3 lety

      Do you care for a chat and get to know each other more better?

  • @gulabtirkey8940
    @gulabtirkey8940 Před 3 lety +12

    This TEDX strikes the chord of my heart. Therefore, I highly recommend this video for those who have lost meaning in their life.

  • @michaelmyers6985
    @michaelmyers6985 Před 3 lety +2

    I've never seen someone gesture like she does. It's un-polished and almost like she's reading her journal to us. I love it.

  • @monric5730
    @monric5730 Před 5 měsíci +2

    I read a book called The Power of Meaning and they said exactly what Dantes is saying. The Storytelling pillar of meaning is the narrative you created through life choices that molded you, you are the author of your life

  • @exodusfivesixfivesix8050
    @exodusfivesixfivesix8050 Před 6 lety +1402

    I'm only happy when I sleep.

    • @sunsfan8535
      @sunsfan8535 Před 6 lety +34

      Exodus fivesixfivesix I only sleep when I'm happy.

    • @anubhavrawat2743
      @anubhavrawat2743 Před 6 lety +50

      Why don't you sleep forever then ?

    • @sadiatabasum6659
      @sadiatabasum6659 Před 6 lety +4

      Exodus fivesixfivesix same here😂

    • @huna5923
      @huna5923 Před 6 lety +3

      Exodus fivesixfivesix coz that time our brain stop pooping ...

    • @user-xx7pg3vw9k
      @user-xx7pg3vw9k Před 6 lety +9

      Exodus fivesixfivesix I'm not. I have stupid dreams all the time and it's really annoying.

  • @TheOwlCreek
    @TheOwlCreek Před 4 lety +22

    Happiness doesn’t exist. You will experience brief moments of pleasure but the human condition is that you know too much about the future to be happy. Psychologists agree that the natural human state is mild depression. So don’t be sad about being sad, its normal.

  • @jesslynlin5638
    @jesslynlin5638 Před 4 lety +8

    When trying to find a meaning in life, you will surely adventure into different fields of work and interests. It is these experiences that construct the pieces of your pillars: you find belongings on the way, stumble across your type of transcendence and finally finding your purpose in life.
    For me, it is the quest to search for meanings in life that makes me happy, cuz I'm able to meet new people, things, sceneries and explore the vast possibilites along the way.

  • @dave5306
    @dave5306 Před 4 lety +4

    This video has blown me away.. such a crucial lesson in living a life. I broken up with my ex a couple of days ago and this speech made me realize that I was missing the meaning of my life. Thank you TED for this amazing video.

  • @ALifeOfWine
    @ALifeOfWine Před 6 lety +183

    To summarise: You don't need happiness, just meaning. So search out these 4 pillars of meaning, which by coincidence are intrinsically linked to being happy, so you're going to end up being more happy. But you don't need that, just the meaning part.
    Nailed it.

  • @aaakashkumar
    @aaakashkumar Před 3 lety +69

    [2:50] There are 4 pillars of a meaningful life
    *1. Belonging* - being in relationships where you're valued for who you are intrinsically
    *2. Purpose* - purpose is less about what you want and more about what you give. The key to purpose is using your strengths to serve others
    *3. Transcendence* - those rare moments when you're lifted above the hustle and bustle of daily life, your sense of self fades away and you feel connected to a higher reality
    *4. Storytelling* - the story you tell yourself about yourself

    • @adamkunzoon474
      @adamkunzoon474 Před 2 lety

      I cannot believe a person following Hindu paganism can have such a intellectual emancipation.
      Love you brother from indian administered kashmir.

    • @PranjalSingh
      @PranjalSingh Před rokem +1

      Awesome, thanks!

    • @chavimaheshwari1901
      @chavimaheshwari1901 Před rokem

      thank you for taking this effort!

  • @jwh0122
    @jwh0122 Před 3 lety +83

    4 pillars of a meaningful life
    3:02 Belonging
    4:44 Purpose
    5:43 Transcendence
    6:44 Story-telling

    • @todorokiyosukedesu
      @todorokiyosukedesu Před 3 lety +3

      THANKS!

    • @Imaworldstar-jw3yj
      @Imaworldstar-jw3yj Před 2 lety +1

      Hello, I started learning English again after 10 years. I would be grateful if you could come and see my skills.
      I am studying from the basics

    • @cecewang70
      @cecewang70 Před 11 měsíci

      Thank you. This is helpful. I was looking for this

  • @TheMhalder
    @TheMhalder Před 4 lety +7

    Every word is precious, feels so close to my heart. Words of Poet Jalal Uddin Rumi are so inspiring, changed my life forever.

  • @alexseleniar
    @alexseleniar Před 6 lety +23

    People have to experience *ALL THE FEELINGS* periodically. This is why in relationships of any kind appear problems from nothing; this is why sometimes we feel we want to see a specific movie again, a movie who might make us cry, which is good.
    We must experience happiness, anxiety, revelation, true love and more. Happiness may be the best feeling but do not focus only on it cause your body and mind want to experience more cause we know inside ourselves that *we must not forget where we started and where we are*

    • @TheNicoliyah
      @TheNicoliyah Před 6 lety +2

      Seleniar Well said

    • @alexseleniar
      @alexseleniar Před 6 lety +1

      beliefless dogmasless I might be for you. But I also know that successful people are known for a specific skill or group of skills and in their private life they act as you consider crazy. Remember: what makes you weird will bring you wealth.

    • @TheNicoliyah
      @TheNicoliyah Před 6 lety +2

      Seleniar your not crazy! I don't know what that other person is on about! 😂

  • @ralphbernhard1757
    @ralphbernhard1757 Před 3 lety +11

    Be "content" most of the time.
    Reserve "happiness" for special moments.

  • @abhishekupadhyay2721
    @abhishekupadhyay2721 Před 3 lety +5

    I am happy that to come across this. Knowing that life is more than being happy. I have always looked for things more than happiness. Meaning is all what I look for. This was so surreal.

  • @nbdevisree2106
    @nbdevisree2106 Před 2 lety +1

    The four pillars belonging - purpose - transcendence - storytelling . I think this adds value to my life . A really worth valuable TED Talk .

  • @nadiabastardo228
    @nadiabastardo228 Před 4 lety +4

    Thank you so much Emily for such inspirational speech. I am sharing and looking for your books now! Keep doing that, the world needs you! 😊

  • @eveliau3830
    @eveliau3830 Před 6 lety +46

    I would say happiness is the courage to ignore societal expectations...just live simple, help people. But I just can't do it.

    • @harineemosur6530
      @harineemosur6530 Před 4 lety

      Eve Liau Absolutely right and almost impossible to do unless one is an exception

    • @osirusj275
      @osirusj275 Před 2 lety

      Well i guess then u only have option of deciding which expectation u wanna choose to fulfil

  • @xiaooo00
    @xiaooo00 Před 3 lety +2

    This is genuinely the wisest speech I’ve ever heard. Thank you!

  • @anggiegliana2528
    @anggiegliana2528 Před rokem +1

    A happy life can be ascertained by everyone's dreams and goals. Goals are not about what you want but about what you give. This made me realize that if you want to be happy then do the process not just think about it, there will be no changes in your life, especially happiness. Humans are too focused on pursuing something external, long-term benefits for happiness can not be obtained. Sometimes in the midst of hectic life with various responsibilities, burdens, and pressures, it is often easy to get restless and sad. Living in a world with all the challenges and obstacles in it makes us unhappy. From this video I learned that there is more to life than happiness, it really made me realize.

  • @richesandharmony
    @richesandharmony Před 4 lety +3

    I have learned these things have given me purpose in my life. Truly believe in myself. Only then was I able to love myself and other people. Protect myself from others. Emotions are key. Finally, stand up for what I believe in. These are my essential social constructs in my life.

  • @zeeweirdeye
    @zeeweirdeye Před 6 lety +10

    Don't forget, before serving others, serve yourself. Not every charitable project will lead to a happy ending.

  • @tanmayanand1035
    @tanmayanand1035 Před 3 lety +2

    one of the best ted talk i listened till date , thank you so much ms emily for this insight on life , its rightfully said that listening 10 mins to a exprerienced people gives us more knowledge then reading a large amount of time and draining energy on it.

  • @jacquelineh3045
    @jacquelineh3045 Před 3 lety +6

    Wow. Surprised at how good this made me feel about life in general. Thank you for all your meaningful research and your wonderful speech!

  • @etherealbeaute
    @etherealbeaute Před 3 lety +4

    I'm just from a heartbreak recently and I kept experiencing anxiety every now and then. Just saw the video and every time after a relationship ends, I ask myself wtf was I searching for. For my recent relationship I guess I was searching for belongingness. That's the story I've told myself for some clarity so I can move on.

  • @salaamletstalk
    @salaamletstalk Před 3 lety +4

    Wow. I connected to your storytelling immediately and found it to echo my own sentiments and thoughts. Thank you so much for sharing. A meaningful life is the one that brings contentment and fulfilment to our hearts.

  • @kentlarsen5834
    @kentlarsen5834 Před rokem

    Emily is such a wonderful speaker, it felt as if she was talking directly to me, and her movements and body language drew me closer to hearing her every word.

  • @idamasri
    @idamasri Před 2 lety +1

    the story about his dad made me cried so bad in my office :'(((( thank you for this very soothing and enlightening talk! Love from Malaysia!

  • @wildj13
    @wildj13 Před 5 lety +4

    This explanation of finding meaning in life and how to achieve it and how we all find it differently has just helped me rationalise and understand myself better. Thank you so much

    • @valenciaandrew3355
      @valenciaandrew3355 Před 3 lety

      Do you care for a chat and get to know each other more better?

  • @miamo4566
    @miamo4566 Před 4 lety +4

    This is the second time I watch this ted talk and this time I understand it more deeply

  • @celinamilian
    @celinamilian Před 4 lety

    Joy and Peace is what you need. These are some of the things that are everlasting.

  • @victortai886
    @victortai886 Před 5 lety +120

    The 1st pillar should be: hide your phone and talk to the one next to you😆 💟 from Taiwan

    • @kotuvka
      @kotuvka Před 5 lety +3

      Victor Liberty aw i was in Taiwan last year.. ❤️ from Poland 🇵🇱

    • @yurijdremach4942
      @yurijdremach4942 Před 3 lety

      Ahahaha ))) Belonging: to Matrix )))

    • @guneetaga994
      @guneetaga994 Před 3 lety

      Brilliant. Profound.

  • @christinachambreau1811
    @christinachambreau1811 Před 6 lety +8

    I totally agree. I think, though that happiness is not the issue, SEEKING happiness outside yourself if the issue. When we find joy with what we have, right now, that is happiness. We are not waiting for the right job, mate, etc. And when we are joyful, we look to see what we can do at any moment, that makes a difference. That deepens our fulfillment.

  • @annika7194
    @annika7194 Před 8 měsíci +2

    This resonates especially in relation to purpose. My late mother said the best thing she did in life was have her children. Her strength and words has what keeps me going whist awaiting on my purpose to have a family of my own ( inshallah)

  • @eivaluscita9236
    @eivaluscita9236 Před 3 lety +6

    The sense of happiness can be cultivated, just like the sense of purpose, belonging, transcending, storytelling and eventually meaning. These are all tools. You can live life with them or without them, for each one to choose.

  • @SRoseBlog
    @SRoseBlog Před 5 lety +25

    Im happy when i watch my kids play. And when i fold clothes. So i let my kids play outdoor daily and i dont get on my phone during those times. And i unpack the closets and refold the clothes too often

    • @chanduucharan6915
      @chanduucharan6915 Před 5 lety

      Nys

    • @s.j.4061
      @s.j.4061 Před 4 lety

      That’s so sweet! Wish you and your family a great enjoyable life Sis!

    • @nahfid2003
      @nahfid2003 Před 3 lety +1

      I freaking hate folding clothes please help :((

  • @PersonalPower
    @PersonalPower Před 6 lety +1181

    If you don't know how to get happy, if you think your life is wasted and if you don't find meaning,
    then try helping others. All the successful people give back in some sort being it bill gates or gordon ramsey.
    You don't need a lot of money to help but it is really fulfilling. Don't believe me? give it a try. what do you have to lose?

    • @tylerdurden7533
      @tylerdurden7533 Před 6 lety +22

      Sadly not all people think this way...

    • @MrMojo0417
      @MrMojo0417 Před 6 lety +29

      Why do people think that the act of helping is beautiful/good/fulfilling/meaningful? Because those who thought it was survived over millions of years of natural selection. There is nothing inherent about those anthropogenic concepts. There is no meaning to life, universe or anything at all.

    • @ryuuseiboi950
      @ryuuseiboi950 Před 6 lety +19

      MrMojo0417 That's true. In the end we are just some apes that destroy themselves and have no significant or deep meaning in their goals...

    • @exodusfivesixfivesix8050
      @exodusfivesixfivesix8050 Před 6 lety +1

      Personal Power what if giving back doesn't fix it?

    • @PersonalPower
      @PersonalPower Před 6 lety +2

      Exodus fivesixfivesix I didn't claim that it would fix it, but its a thing that helps a lot of people! hope you'll find something.

  • @Migs3
    @Migs3 Před 3 lety +2

    Excellent video. Thanks for taking the time to film and edit it and of course for positing it for our benefit. Keep up the good work! -Migs

  • @katizaselis
    @katizaselis Před 3 lety +2

    Excelente TED! Estudo isso porque percebo que a busca pela felicidade virou febre, principalmente nos jovens. Ela tem uma alta capacidade de síntese. Nada em excesso e nada a faltar. 12 minutos perfeitamente utilizados. Tem minha admiração

  • @fabulousflavours1685
    @fabulousflavours1685 Před 4 lety +2

    One of the best TED Talks.. Just loved it!!!

  • @raunakkelekar5882
    @raunakkelekar5882 Před 6 lety +14

    Well, I like her presentation, the way she speaks, and definitely the four pillars.
    1. Belonging
    2. Purpose
    3. Transcendence
    4. Story-telling

  • @adminjohn4336
    @adminjohn4336 Před 2 lety +2

    absolutely true, I have experienced the whole story and my life is MUCH different now. Still doing all those things.

  • @abhishekmangaraj
    @abhishekmangaraj Před 5 měsíci +1

    Belonging. Purpose. Transcendence. Storytelling. A meaningful life!

  • @samoh4575
    @samoh4575 Před 4 lety +6

    When I knew my purpose to live, I felt happiest in my whole life.

  • @angeliapuspita1002
    @angeliapuspita1002 Před 4 lety +7

    I do love your words! Really so connect with my mind and heart😭😭❤️

  • @CuongNguyen-hc6py
    @CuongNguyen-hc6py Před 2 lety

    Omg i was struggling with depression for years and i live with it and okay with it. I used to think the same as the footballplayers she mentioned “my life was good but now its bad” but thanks to my depression, i survive and it makes me the person i am right now and right now i am thinking my life was bad but now its normal. I think ive made it to the new milestone!

  • @Doctor_C_Jack
    @Doctor_C_Jack Před 3 lety +2

    As a person who believed that the meaning of life is to be happy, I needed to see this video.

  • @GoatzAreEpic
    @GoatzAreEpic Před 6 lety +279

    What a great talk!!! So inspirational, I give you my love, I wouldn't know where I'd be without this talk

    • @byeteaching
      @byeteaching Před 5 lety

      which of the techniques on being happy covered in this video resonate with u? czcams.com/video/Dfafedohnb4/video.html

  • @xeyutipe
    @xeyutipe Před 3 lety +137

    Life in itself has no meaning, it’s empty. It is about what we fill in with in that empty space.
    Edit: Woah woah woah. I just wrote what i thought and this comment just blew up. And guys thanks a lot for sharing your opinions. I really appreciate them all. Love ya

    • @unknownhuman9766
      @unknownhuman9766 Před 3 lety +7

      I like how you think.

    • @miyara928
      @miyara928 Před 3 lety +5

      I dont agree, life has definitley meaning. That is worshipping the one and only God, who created life/us/everything.

    • @fosminclorin
      @fosminclorin Před 3 lety +10

      @@miyara928 oh shut up

    • @jo-jr2dv
      @jo-jr2dv Před 3 lety +6

      Sunshine God doesnt exist

    • @schnitzelfilmmaker1130
      @schnitzelfilmmaker1130 Před 3 lety +3

      ​@@miyara928 I don't know how serious you want to go about this but I'll just leave it here. It's a very long understanding of why people don't want to agree with you. Sin has its roots so deep in this world right now, and people delight in it just as the Bible says they would. They don't want to change anything about themselves.
      Everything this woman in this is saying is just pointing to Jesus, she just doesn't realize it, but probably never considered that is where she was pointing to. But in general, most people in the world today wish to seek meaning aside from Jesus, because they want to have it their way rather than God's way. Obviously, God's way is "boring". It's the same deceptions as from Genesis 3, the same exact deceptions and curse govern the world but no one wants to believe that. Why not? You get to create your own meaning, everything is meant to fit you (and in some cases, God is created to fit you, in your image) and you don't have to answer to anyone else above you. It's makes people feel good, they create their own reality. Surely, they don't believe God can be good - as the serpent/shining one suggested, God is jealous of us and wants to prevent us from being like him. You didn't die because you're a sinner, you died because that's just how it is and there's no point to it other than what you want in it. People today would rather worship themselves and humanity. They think they're somehow better than the God who created all the universe, who knows all, and created us to be able to love, who is just in ways that we can't be because we still are evil. If we compared ourselves to God, we'd recognize our own imperfections and why we should die. But, no one wants to realize that about themselves. They want to think that they're just... right, humanity in all our failures somehow deserves to be recognized as equal with God. We don't want to compare ourselves to the God who created a creation that one would be tempted to worship, because that is declaration of a glory that is infinitely greater than even the creation - the heavens declare God's glory, yet it is only a small glimpse of him. People wouldn't feel so good, like they're so great, if they realized just how far they fall short of God. They'd rather live as the shining one told them to. They want to believe that they're accomplishing this all, that they're deserving and that they can create their meaning, their reality. It feels better to them, why would they want to think they need a savior? The serpent/shining one is perfectly aware of all this - pride was a cause of his own rebellion after all. The serpent/shining one took advantage of this and deceived the whole world the same exact way that he inspired the fall of man. It's all too easy, and it's all too easy to reject God. Again, God's way is boring, we have to submit to a greater power, it is so restraining in the eyes of the world, we're just not allowed to go and live the way we want. Imagine all the fun we'd have, all the ways we can make ourselves feel better - in our own way, paving our own path. Who the heck wants to live the way that God intended to be good when he created all things? Only some people want to do that, and submit to God fully.
      That was very long.

  • @ashik14ry95
    @ashik14ry95 Před 2 lety +1

    Thank you for such beautiful and motivational speech 😊
    The line - happiness comes and goes when life is really good and things are really bad having something to hold on to is really very meaningful and powerful😊

  • @joshuadaltilia8480
    @joshuadaltilia8480 Před 3 lety +1

    I've never been diagnosed with clinical depression but I've felt all these things and no life isn't about just being happy, it's more about expressing how you feel

  • @zeakholdzhang9359
    @zeakholdzhang9359 Před 6 lety +5

    Having meaning in life: Belonging, Purpose, Transcendent, Storytelling.

  • @jamielunes1841
    @jamielunes1841 Před 4 lety +10

    Happiness is a by product of understanding of who you are!

  • @timhoran7676
    @timhoran7676 Před 2 lety +2

    Thank you for sharing your wonderful, heartfelt message.

  • @mirandayeoh8606
    @mirandayeoh8606 Před 3 lety +1

    It's good to watch this in the year of the pandemic. Use our strength to serve others in this tough situation..

  • @winson3488
    @winson3488 Před 5 lety +4

    One of the best talks i ever heard! Keep it up!

  • @perfectlyimperfect1914
    @perfectlyimperfect1914 Před 6 lety +5

    Emily ur perspective is absolutely reflective & transcendental...
    My purpose in life is, Help the needy n Smile together...

  • @asmiiii3
    @asmiiii3 Před 3 lety +1

    She is so well spoken.

  • @sanyaarora3962
    @sanyaarora3962 Před 3 lety

    I have seen this video so many times, and again when i feel low, i come back and watch this❤️

  • @AmericanMaestro
    @AmericanMaestro Před 5 lety +132

    What kills me is that whenever these speakers say "these studies show ____" they never tell you what studies... I need my sources people!

    • @alejandroacelas1438
      @alejandroacelas1438 Před 4 lety +32

      Is usually because of the short time they're given, but if you're curious, they often have books in which they delve further into the topic

    • @violetviolet888
      @violetviolet888 Před 3 lety +35

      Just google the speaker's names and see what they wrote, visit their websites, contact them.
      www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/01/theres-more-to-life-than-being-happy/266805
      www.amazon.com/Power-Meaning-Fulfillment-Obsessed-Happiness/dp/0553446568/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

    • @graemeroberts2935
      @graemeroberts2935 Před 3 lety +11

      @@violetviolet888 Brava! Such good advice, instead of getting angry.

    • @violetviolet888
      @violetviolet888 Před 3 lety +3

      @@graemeroberts2935 Ah, you are someone who knows "Brava!". So rare... always bothered me when men cheered bravo after a woman's performance. (Though now I wonder if it should be bravi (ee) in order to be gender neutral...)

    • @marionperez6746
      @marionperez6746 Před 3 lety

      I wept. The words touched my heart so much. There is indeed more to life than happiness. And, I wish my children more than just happiness.

  • @emilio_bc
    @emilio_bc Před 3 lety +2

    Thank you very much, Emily. The meaning of life has always been a lynchpin of my life. I have looked in many places (Frankl especially), but no one explains and manifests it with as much passion and conviction as you. Thank you. "It is love that gives peace to men, calm to the seas, silence to the winds, a bed and rest to pain" (Plato).

  • @jungsookchung8491
    @jungsookchung8491 Před 2 lety

    Emily Esfahni Smith, I like your serene atmosphere. Those who make others are happy or help to find meaning in their lives are happy.

  • @AlexanderMoen
    @AlexanderMoen Před 3 lety +4

    this is a great video, thank you for sharing. This pulls together a lot of my thoughts on the subject. Life isn't just about happiness; I've always felt that was a bit more shallow and less fulfilling in the long term. These 4 pillars make complete sense and tie in my own experiences as well as things that Tony Robbins and various other things I've read.

  • @M0SAQ8
    @M0SAQ8 Před 5 lety +4

    This talk brought me out of an emotional crisis