"Everything happens for a reason" -- and other lies I've loved | Kate Bowler | TED
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- čas přidán 15. 05. 2024
- In life's toughest moments, how do you go on living? Kate Bowler has been exploring this question ever since she was diagnosed with stage IV cancer at age 35. In a profound, heartbreaking and unexpectedly funny talk, she offers some answers -- challenging the idea that "everything happens for a reason" and sharing hard-won wisdom about how to make sense of the world after your life is suddenly, completely changed. "I believe that in the darkness, even there, there will be beauty and there will be love," she says.
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"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass,
It´s about learning to dance in the rain"
True
YES. YES. YES
Hahahah what a beautiful expression
Yuppp!! We should wait for the storm to pass and never lose hope ! Morning comes after night ! The brightest morning comes after the darkest stormful night!
Nice idea 😊💡
I listened to this after losing 5 relatives in 4 months 2 weeks including my mom and sister. Many people asked me why? Why would God do this? and my answer was I don't ask why, all I do is try to live and love and be thankful that I had them in my life.
i'm always praying for people who had lost their loved ones. i wish i could hug you :(
May they all rest in peace. You're such a strong, loving and thankful person.
it's been 3 weeks, how are you doing? are you good? I hope you are, stranger
@daisie You are blessed one.... I'll let you know later
That must be rough :(
I'm sorry for your loss
That she unashamedly cried whilst giving this speech, is absolutely beautiful, and so incredibly healthy.
I think shes a smug, self indulgent narcissist that cant get over how great she think she is. Nothing inspiring about that.
“Life will break your heart. Life may take everything you have and everything you’ve hoped for. But there is one gratifying truth I believed in: I believe that in the darkness, even there, there will be beauty and there will be love. And every now and then, it will feel more than enough.” ~ Kate Bowler
Chills
Exactly
And i cried😢
Contentment
These are the exact phrases that I need to read right now. I think it's kinda synonymous to 'fall seven times and stand up at eight!' 💪
“The greatest tragedy is not death, but life without a purpose” One of my favorite movie line.
Trying doing a deep research on purpose, youll be surprised
@@cleocanta OMG, thank you for reading in my mind
The purpose of life is just to be lived
The purpose of life is to live and enjoy life and do good to other people.
One is inevitable. The other one isn't. Look up the definition of tragedy. Oh and having baby is not the answer to anyone's misery. It's offensive to even suggest it
Whenever she is talking about her son she got emotional and tears were rolling in her eyes..she is more worried about what would happen to her son if something happens to her than her health..this is how a mother loves her children 🙏
It's a shame, not all mothers love there children. If the mother was treated badly and unloved as a child she usually treats her own the same way.
i also feel this way sometimes.i have been ill for so long and the only thing keep hunting me that what would happen to my baby girl if something happened to me😔
@@doc2590 that's not true. Not every mother who went through an abusive or neglected childhood treats their kids in the same way too.
@@lolitazavala1879 Is it ok if I add on to what you said?
Sometimes it makes them strive to be better, if they know that the behaviour is wrong, most likely.
Even sometimes parenrs that didn't grow up in a abusive and/or neglected childhood, are abusive and/or neglectful.
Some do repeat the behaviour, others don't, or create the behaviour, it just depends on the person.
@@hiii6450 this is exactly what I am talking about 💪🏻...... Some knowing how the toxic environment and parenthood "damaged" they embark on a better parenthood journey themselves.
"I see that the world is jolted by events that are wonderful and terrible. Gorgeous and traggic. I can't reconcile the contradiction. Except that I am beginning to believe that these opposites do not cancel each other out. Life is so beautiful and life is so hard.
I am learning to live and to love without counting the cost, without reasons and assurances that nothing will be lost.
Life will break your heart, and life may take everything you have, and everything you hope for. But I believe that in the darkness, even there, there will be beauty and there will be love. And every now and then it will feel like more than enough".
I wrote these quotes on post it notes and hung them in my room. She had such amazing eloquence in way she speaks and the weight behind her words
wow beautiful
Right? Or Life of the Hindi or listening to a Monk. Its living in the moment. Appreciating Nirvana
When it's dark enough, you will see the stars.
I was in tears while/after watching her speech. It's beautifully written and honestly presented. She was worried, scared, and sad, but she was also strong, optimistic, and brave. Wish her full recovery!
I am reminded of marcus aurelius' quote: "Death and life, success and failure, pain and pleasure, wealth and poverty, all these happen to good and bad alike, and they are neither noble nor shameful - and hence neither good nor bad"
Some are good
good or bad in a moral sense
He was one of the greatest stoics - a philosophy for today as much as ancient Rome.
I had a friend who is spoiled entitled nasty evil manipulative adulterer who won lots of money, and I try everyday to be a good person and have nothing, being good honest gets you nothing!
@@mysticpizza02 unless you recognize being good and honest as valuable in and of themselves... which I, at least, believe they are. I believe it in part because of the pain I feel when I, or others, are NOT this way... the pain helps me know what truly does matter... I do hope though that things look up for you as time goes on. In the meantime, I hope you will be proud of your own good qualities, and compassionate with the part of you that suffers.
"I believe that in the darkness, even there, there will be beauty and there will be love. And every now and then, it will feel like more than enough".
Thank you, honey, for this beautiful words!
Nice comment regarding this talk
Yes if your love you see love everywhere
@@mahadevswamy6088bmo bpĺ
Hope everyone will.have a happy life❤❤❤
We will rise from those dark days, amen.(Ohm) Just praying to my god
I lost my aunt 5 months ago to stage IV colon cancer. I myself am physically disabled. All my life, I’ve been fed platitudes and other theories to explain these things. Also told that my purpose is to “inspire” others. Thank you for not perpetuating any of that crap and for allowing me to feel simply human 💜
@@lzyoungen8499 Who's the "us"? Stop trying to feel important. You're the one who fell on her comment and read it. No one forced you to.
God bless your heart 💜 🙏🏾
@@cedj3502 she’s An atheist
@@manuelbaut1044 ok as an atheist it doesn’t matter if someone blesses you in the name of their god because it means they still wish good intent on you.
@@zamiaramirez1390 it actually does
"Even in darkness there is beauty" its good to hear that you have family and friends that made you feel loved during those hard times, some people dont have.
True, she was truly blessed :)
Some people can't even experience love before they were born
Some people can't even experience love because they were born to a wrong place or time
Truth
"I'm learning to live and love
without counting the cost
Without reasons and assurances that nothing will be lost" ❤🎐
Wow!
Well said, I’ll strive for that!❤️
Sundar Bharadwaj nd res zayye esck
Vinodhini Kalidhasan so do I, I’m learning to love as well.
😌❣️
“We want to live in a world where nothing is lost.”
Like an arrow through the heart.
Too true ; _ ;
In such a world, nothing much would be gained.
Also in such a world overpopulation
Won't that make u lose life
when she still manages to be funny while delivering such a profound talk. i was ironically crying sad tears while laughing. her words are definitely what I needed today.
I lost my mom and my sister tragically 18 years ago. Everything happens for a reason. I couldn’t think of how many times I heard that, and until now, those reasons are still hard to find. Maybe there is one and maybe there is none. Who knows? Eventually, I got tired of looking for the explanation and instead, I live a life with better understanding of its sweetness and bitterness.
Thank you for sharing your story.
this is very beautiful. I am sorry for your loss but yes you're correct. LIFE is just something no one can explain. the best thing to do is just enjoy the ride with those emotions.
A courageous woman, beautifully articulate, poetry in motion: “I am learning to live and to love without counting the cost, without reasons and assurances that nothing will be lost.”
tommy v check out her podcast “Everything Happens”!! She’s incredible.
Six years ago, I got an accident and it burned me about 20% and cut my ankle seriously. I blamed the world because of it against me.
Six years after now, I thank the world because it did not take my life away, and I am enjoying every beautiful place around this world.
Hope ur better now my friend!
happy for you
stay blessed 🙏😇
life has countless beauty ... explore all
❤️
Stay happy brother
I lost both my parents in 2021. It was a very dark time for me & still feel like it is. Our saying is that "The deads rest in peace, only the living remains in sadness" I'm sure they had felt the love & happiness throughout thier lives. Thank you for your healing speech. I wish you all well. Do good deeds will get good in return.
Lost my mum n m dying donno where to go to bring her back I. As m isolated now 💔
Lost parents was sadness
How does someone, in such horrible circumstances, still have such strength of character, to see the beauty in the world? How can you still find it in your heart to laugh? This talk touched me so deeply. I hope she is able to see her son grow up & her husband lose his beautiful hair, with all my heart.
"The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you." - Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Most people find that statement terrifying. The idea that the universe is truly random, that there is no plan, no reason, no logic.
For me, that's the most beautiful part of this existence. There is no reason or guarantee for you to exist and yet, you do. You are a statistical improbability in orders of power beyond your own limited comprehension, all the power a deterministic universe could grant you pales in comparison to the obscene luck of your very existence.
You are not special, but your fleeting cosmological moment to observe this universe that is both terrifying and beautiful is. Enjoy it, make memories and when your time inevitably ends remember one thing. Your life was undeniably your own, you are free.
this is so well thought of!
This statement made me cry as I am going through a very testing time, which makes no sense to me, but I believe and trust the universe.
You are so right 🙌
Woah.... That's beautiful
"Enjoy the decline" -Aaron Clarey
This is one of the most beautiful and honest speeches I've ever heard on TED! You are a brave, intelligent and very deep person! ❤
hyy dear
Omg ! So true ! We all love your Kate ! Such an amazing person !!
I get you
Lesia Kali Well said
I agree. This should be listened to every day as soon as we wake up
“I hope I will live a long time”
Gets me every time 🥺
I was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 63
I couldn’t imagine being diagnosed with this dreaded disease at 35
Life is full of surprises
Some good
Some not so good
My love and prayers go out to her and her husband and little boy
Hello, I am a stranger to you but I wish you health and happiness, I wish I can give you a big hug because I feel for you. I'm sending thoughts and prayers.
Reasons? Life. Anything can happen to us regardless of our previous actions. Some people do evil all their lives and live long and happy without any troubles coming their way.
Should we do/be 'good' expecting a reward? Or feeling like we're a good person? No. Maybe we should do good because it feels good to us.
She is very eloquent and managed her tears pretty well for such an emotional topic.
We should do good because it builds a better society for your kids.
@@frankt9156 - The trouble here is that people have varying ideas as to what it means to 'do good', and what feels good to one might cause harm to another. There has got to be something more to it.
Well, I was not able to manage my tears.......it hit too close to home....one of those messages you get on rare occasions.
"Some people do evil all their lives and live long and happy without any troubles coming their way. " that's an interesting thought. If I was to try and test that idea, say swap "evil" in your theory with "selfish", for example - I would agree that it is possible to be selfish and make lots of money but not be selfish and happy. I say that from my experience and all sorts of psychological experiments which seem to link traditionally "good" acts to happiness e.g. czcams.com/video/PsihkFWDt3Y/video.html (TED talk on "How to buy happiness"). I could be wrong. I would be intrigued by your thoughts. By the way, I like thought provoking and honest discussions but could we keep the discussion polite (not saying you wont be) but it is a sad internet thing that everyone needs to make their points aggressively. Thanks.
If you doing good to feel good, you still doing it for a reward, that reward being the good feeling. So maybe it be better to put it internal reward vs external reward?
"I am learning to live and love without counting the cost" such a nice and touching words.
l
What awesome word it is 👍
This has to be one of the most beautiful speeches I've ever heard. The way she told her story and realizations made me feel so emotional. I was on the verge of tears. I suddenly remember Namjoon's lyrics in Trivia: Love: "I live so I love." I hope she's doing well and she's staying healthy.
❤️❤️
I listened to this when I was in depression about my surgery and got relief.
"But I have a son." And he will see this video someday and KNOW how much he is loved and how strong and beautiful his mother is.
Also, I needed these words today. Your words on how to start living and loving without reasons and assurance that nothing will be lost....so powerful. Thank you.
Yes... same here
Hi Sonya where do you live now?
"I'd love to hear it." I'm so using that.
And what if you do? What if the reason for your (loved one's) premature death is nothing more than a recessive gene that shouldn't be passed on to future generations. Don't take life too seriously, don't plan and expect so much - you'll never get out alive.
@@whatsupbudbud sorry but you're the one who sounds so serious. Nothing wrong with using that response. Of course we would like to know why. Will we know it? Of course everyone knows that most of the time, no
Why do yo like to listen?
This speaker made me even more realize that my situation is nothing compared to other people's circumstances. Thank you for making me realize the in-depth meaning of gratitude and for giving me a little hope. I hope you will live a longer life that you and your doctors have expected. 🥰
may i know where r u from..?
I can’t even begin to imagine what she went through. She’s so brave it’s fascinating and inspiring. I loved your talk and I hope you live a very long life
“Life will break your heart.” Radical acceptance has helped me immensely. It is so easy to observe others and make assumptions about how much someone has endured. The truth is that we will all experience trauma. The mistake we make is comparing it to someone else’s. Tread lightly and live compassionately. 🌹
I wish I could agree regarding 'everyone' experiencing trauma. Some have it SO much worse than others. Some people are lucky enough to breeze through life fairly smoothly, while other experience- too much to bear. With all due respect.
Yup, life can super suck. One step a time
Agree. Not everything has a reason
@@tanadamico8396 I agree, there is nothing democratic about life. It isn´t fair. I think the trauma is switching to a new normal, that you regard as less than what you had, so that is basically a matter of opinion. Happiness is going the other way and still a matter of opinion. There will be some of that going on in every life, but the point was not that you should not compare it, but that you cannot. Like the speaker said, in every calamity there is room for appreciation. But it´s the appreciation that makes you happy, not the calamity. There can be great tragedy in a smooth life without appreciation. I don´t know, but I don´t think it is a helping thought that somebody else has it worse OR that somebody else has it better, because both are distractions from appreciation.
“people stumbling around in the debris of dreams they thought they were entitled to” 😳😮🤩🔥🙌 this is absolute poetry!
💯💯💯
As a woman who survived oral cancer I first got when I was only 26, I can relate to this young woman. She and I are part of the club nobody wants to join...but it profoundly changes your life. Every day is precious. Don't waste it.
"Life is so beautiful and life is so hard" this is absolutely true and there is beauty in the darkness. Kate Bowler is the very strongest womam and i am very thankful for such a incredible and beautiful speech.
i saw the title “everything happens for a reason” and immediately scrolled but then saw other lies i loved and immediately clicked lol
Same
Same.
Same😂
Same lol
Same here
This video was, beautiful, touching and so incredibly terrifying.
thereleast argon so brave
could not agree more
" only LOVE remains "
I know right!!! Someone finally said it
Could you cry while watching this, at times pain is one of the best experience of life. If you cried you could feel you connect with her emotions.
I've learnt the best lesson in my life from this speech.For last few days I was devastated,was an abject one.Listening to her stories cleared my sadness like the rain clean the earth.Life is too much uncertain,though sounds harsh keeping it in mind is healing in bad time.Thanks to my dear sister for this lesson and I pray for you,your son,your family.
It really is difficult when you're the one with cancer and people want you to reassure them there's a reason. I had a family member actually tell me that I was diagnosed with cancer because of the fact that I had done drugs in the past. I quit communicating with her because I felt like I had enough against me battling cancer. This talk was very real.
How tragic that someone would be so toxic saying something like that. Good that you don’t bother with them. Save your energy for the important stuff. Like getting well. God can use your circumstances for good. That is a promise in scripture. But in the book of Job we read that in this world man would have trouble as surely as sparks fly upwards. If you read the account of the apostle Paul you will see a man who knew what trouble was. And yet his heart remained steadfast!
@@user-vm5ud4xw6n I stay in The Word. I can’t imagine how my life would be if I rely on God. 🙏🏻
@@kristendawson5395 thats an odd reply. You stay in the word but you can’t imagine what your life would be if you relied on God? Is that really what you meant to say or was it that you can’t imagine what your life would be like Without God?
@@user-vm5ud4xw6n Oh my goodness! I left out a word. It was supposed to say, “I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I DIDN’T rely on God. I guess I need to proofread comments before I post them.
God is first in my life.
My son was killed in a car accident last month and I am still trusting God.
@@kristendawson5395 oh I am so sorry for your loss! My husband died 10 mos. ago and I was asking my friend about grief. Her daughter died, I think over 3 years ago. She said after she lost her she cried for 2 years. How heartbreaking!! I was just startled when I read your reply. I’m glad you are hanging onto Him. I am trying to do the same thing. I just switched churches where they have a woman’s group and I am looking forward to joining it. If I don’t get out and start participating in life I’m afraid of what will happen! Thankfully living with my son and his family have been a true blessing. They include me in some of their activities and my son is quick to give a hug when I need one. Ikwym about correcting my spelling in these replies. Looking over this one I found some seriously weird stuff. Good thing I rechecked. Take care and may the Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face face shine on you and be gracious to you.; the Lord turn his face towards you , and give you peace!” Num. 6:24-26 (NIV)
"Life is so beautiful and life is so hard." Yes that is so incredibly true. I am still waiting to experience the "even in the darkness, there will be beauty and there will be love" part.
Even in the darkness,there will b beauty ONLY if u are lucky cos thrs no form in darknes i knw.
How articulate she is.. nobody can truly relate to somebody else's suffering however hard we try to be in other's shoes. I hope she will have a long beautiful life she really deserves. Thank you darling for this sensational speech with your tearful, beautiful voice and eloquent eyes ❤
This is one of the more powerful Ted talks I've seen and she's amazing for getting up on stage and sharing her story.
I can’t be the only one that start crying during the first 3 min
Can't hold it in the last 3
Silva Gomez me too
The speaker cried too
Silva Gomez same here..
My goodness.. before 3mins im already crying even after the talk im still crying for a minute or 2. whhhheeww so heartfelt.
This is what we are being taught in order to be good people and good citizens. The truth is, we just get what we get. Often with no reason behind it. Maybe, just maybe, to learn a very valuable lesson: we shouldn't think we are better than others simply because we are good people. We shouldn't judge others or compare ourselves to them. We should humbly accept our own happenings and fight our own battles. Peace.
I agree. It's not "Everything happens for a reason" but "We make a reason why everything happens" ... we need to give ourselves credit for the wonderful things that happen in our lives as well as the challenges we overcome
I almost cried..I just wanted to hug her..She is beauty. And she is strong.
Everything she said, and all that she has experienced, should be in a book. One I would happily purchase for it's unfolding wisdom
She does have a book. Called everything happens for a reason and other lies I've loved. It's fantastic.
She has written 3 amazing books! 2 of which are wonderful memoirs and follow this theme.
I’ve seen so many Ted talks. This is one of the best. How this talented, wonderful woman holds it together for the duration of this poignant talk is inspiring. I love her x
I totally agree. Can you recommend some other good ones too?
@@Charles-xs5zz I suggest you to watch Eddie woo's tedx . It is what I call simply beautiful.
You made me cry... Life should be big and should not be counted as long... you have thaught me that!!!. My prayers and blessings for you.
I have so much gratitude for this woman. This was one of the best talks I’ve seen.
I think one of the things that we rarely truly accept is that we are always dying
If we are regening/creating life at a faster rate than it is diminishing wouldn't it be right to say at that time, that we're actually living?
@@aini9528 Firstly, could you please define what do you mean by saying "regening/creating life"? I ask you to do so, partly because I'm not a native English speaker so I'm not very sure about the meaning of "regening" in this context, and partly because my definition of "creating" is to make something from nothing, thus, something human beings can't achieve.
Secondly, I think "dying" is aplicable to anything that has a life, and "living" is not because just as you've mentioned, we need to do something to be able to say we're "living". And this just reminds me of a quote by Oscar Wilde: "to live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all".
In summary, I think "living", "dying" and "life" are all different things.
@@muyou6589 Sure, in a philosophical way 'to live' and just simply 'to exist' can be seen as different things. I thought ur initial post was about the physical quantities of living ie. cells reproducing etc.
What I meant with regen is sort of like if u get a wound, and it heals, that's kind of regening, and also when u grow and do activities ur body changes to affect that changes. U do sports = u become more adapt at doing those sports... etc u calculate math, ur brain becomes more adept in that.
And creating life, I mean with babies. Maybe nurturing things such as plants and other living things.
And when we put these two together, I think if we are doing those things at a faster rate than what we are experiencing the dying part of the cycle I think it would be proper to call it Living. We can say 'things will die' since it's natural, but the 'Act of dying' I think is reserved to more later parts in the 'cycle' or life, or to ill individuals etc that have that conditioned unfortunately forced upon them.
But I'm just iterating that in your initial post you talked about "are always dying" = ie. the _continuous_ act of dying, which I think doesn't hold ground if we take in to account all the aforementioned and that life can in certain cases outpace death. ^
Unfortunately, some of us realize and come to accept that eventually we will die before before others. I did at the ripe age of 6 years old when my uncle died. It's hard not to get myself worked up thinking about it, TBH. I don't want to die. I'm really afraid of what's after this.
The first video on TED when speaker washed face with own tears because her words are very closed to life and the other life.
Life will break your heart, but you'l find love at those moments. Words of wisdom. Thank you so much!
Hearing the pain makes me so sad. People who have lived through pain will truly appreciate what she said.
May you live a long life, Kate, and if this talk should serve as your legacy...well done, my dear, well done.
Of the billion videos I have seen on CZcams, I choose to ask this question on this one:
"How can this video have any dislikes?"
The proof that no matter what you say, there will allways be someone to dislike it. Thats why trying to apleat to everyone is futile. Just the act of thinking by your self is ofensive.
Shiv Kumar I can think of one reason. While beautifully expressed, and rooted in the personal experience, the speech does not resonate with me substantively. It was all about one person’s personal journey. I have my own experience with a cancer diagnosis, while my children were still young, and all I could think about was how to prepare them for life without their father, and how I could prolong the life I would give them. All other soul-searching about the meaning of life and the reasons therefore were completely beside the point. So I can like this video for its impassioned presentation, but still not like it for its substantive content. It’s simply did not speak to me.
@@richardjones9007 for me. the reason is, i just don't like the way she speak, i understand her feeling, but it sounds like she speak while she is crying all the time, i just feel pity her not inspired. i prefer to watch ted talk with regular voice even with such sad story.
@@virtualarmy4716 yeah, but you gotta understand that it's hard for her not to cry. She's trying her best to keep it together. She was still fighting cancer when she did this Ted Talk, so I'm sure they were tough times.
Maybe they're still rooted in the belief that everything happens for a reason and what she said just didnt resonate with them.. On one hand, this is just what i was looking for so i agree with it and found how she shared her presentation quite moving and sincere
It broke my heart listening the words, but one thing I would always remember is the strength and hope she has ❤️
13:27. Exactly ma'am. You can't truly experience the pleasure of eating until you have experienced the hardship of hunger. (We're all praying for your complete recovery and a long , long life :-) )
Yes, when the lie of "positive thoughts" people keep pushing crash, it hurts. I know the feeling ... we have so comfortable lives that we forget how brutal and unfair life is. btw nice talk.
I love the recent book "F$&k Positivity".
Her honesty, courage, grief, and love are a gift to us. Thank you so much for sharing with and teaching us!
i want to show my huge respect towards this mother, i was getting goose bumps when she mentioned her son, wish you the best !!
I watched this video more than 100 time, and every time i watched i felt the same feeling, nothing is impossible if you believe.
I know and i have to speak to myself "be positive, be positive, it will be ok". But it is so hard 😭. And really hard when it is only you
Health is really the most important thing
We suffer only because we want things to be the way we want them to be. When we realize that there is literally nothing which is in our control, the suffering evaporates. The most important thing is to come out of the delusion that everything happens for a reason. Our life is just a joke a literally has no meaning. So try to enjoy the joke rather than being serious.
This got me so emotional.. When she said life will break your heart.. Tuff crowd, she deserved a standing ovation
It is given that her speech is certainly profound and poetic. However, I also acknowledge how favorable and understandable her voice is - with those genuine emotions. I love this. I love you, Kate. I hope you know how wonderful your soul is.
This is the most wonderful talk I've heard all my life. I've watched this multiple times and still feel emotional. I prayed for you Kate that up until this very moment you're still in good health. God uses your life to inspire others. ❤❤❤
I always instantly love TED Talks that have the speaker crying. It feels real, raw and pure
Watching this talk was life-changing - truly the most beautiful and moving 14 minutes. Thank you, Ms. Bowler, for your candor and for opening your heart to all of us observers.
Tears rolling from eyes, while seeing her heart speak out.
Her words sound so re-assuring in these Corona pandemic times too. Lovely words!!
I felt that I was presented such truth under such heartbreaking circumstances.
But I wish you healing and a long life filled with love and dreams.. you are a gift ❤️
"Before was better" --- yes! It's perfectly okay to feel this way! It's okay to not be okay!
Such a taboo topic: we yearn to find out the reason for bad things happening to good people, but when we're honest with ourselves and the anger takes over because we can't discern a reason, we hide our true feelings out of shame, because SURELY there's a reason, EVERYONE around me keeps saying, "everything happens for a reason!"
Won't even get into the notion perpetuated by religion that "suffering is good." Makes my head spin.
GreenM&M_11 Thank you.
I feel like I'm in a bad jam but still have a way to fall. A axe over my head.
What you said put things into perspective for me. :)
Best wishes to you. young
I wish Kate to keep this Gospel, this blessed Message in her eyes, in her heart! Thank you, Kate! It is big support for all of us!💌
This video changed my life and my perspective of things forever.
She's really amazing and powerful , I hope she's still alive 🤍
This is by far my favourite Ted talk I've ever seen. It's full of emotions and ideas. I can't get enough with it. Thank you
People love to victim blame because they think it protects them as long as they don't do anything "wrong". A completely human reaction, but it causes so much pain to victims.
orange pulp agree.
Agree, but it is not love, it is fear. They do so, because they suppress their fear, because they have learned that fear and happiness cannot go together and that admitting fear makes you weak.
Everything happens for a reason but we will never understand it. Praying for beautiful and strong Kate.
I’ve never thought a Ted talk would make me cry :’) Hope she’s fine every now and then
"That the good things happen to good people". After she said this it made me aware of being better to myself and the people around me.
This is incredible.....I had tears in my eyes listening to her story
I just want to hug her and cry. For both of us. Best TedTalk ever..
"life will break your heart... I believe that in the darkness, there will be beauty and there will be love. And every now and then, it will feel like more than enough" Oh my gosh no TED talk has ever made me ugly cry. This is just what i was looking for. Been having a difficult time lately and trying to make sense of it or justify it but no, everything here made sense.
"They offerred me this little piece of reasssurance and I clung to it. They said:
'When the feelings recede like the tides, they will leave an imprint.'
And they do.... and it is not proof of anything. And it is nothing to boast about, it was just a gift."
Things happen. And those things don't prove anything. Things just happen.
When I got diagnosed with cancer people said, eveything happens for a reason.... ummm not what anyone wants to hear.
Ed Straker god has a plan for you, isn’t that part of the plan? Overcoming cancer in order to help others overcome the same problem? Or what’s your point?
Yes - it does happen for a "reason" - but it doesn't have any "purpose". People confuse reason with purpose all the time and it can get very frustrating. The reason for cancer is inherited genes, random mutations, carcinogenic substances, getting older, viruses and the list goes on... Cancer didn't happen to you to help fulfil some purpose - there's no plan or path intended for our lives at all (other than the purpose we decide or ourselves). Various situations are not set in place in our lives to help us learn and discover and fulfil some plan for us, blah, blah, blah. I wish you'd never got cancer at all and I hope you're rid of the damned thing right quick and never get it again.
@@meganmills6545 this is the good explanation for this. Something happens because of something, but it doesnt have a purpose, probably you got cancer because you are smoking, or you are not healthy, or maybe your genes from previous families..... It is cause and effect, it never has purpose, it is you that define the purpose
Edit: misspeling
@@meganmills6545 can you prove that ?
@@LifeOfJowl Yes.
I loved this speech...
Life is so beautiful and it also can break your heart....but there's always light in the darkness.
Honestly, I wish this Ted Talk was around in my 20’s. But it sums up everything that I’ve felt for quite some time. Religion constantly feeds that notion that if you are good to god that he will reward you. I remember how I would constantly worry that I did something wrong and that’s why I was hurting or upset. When I studied religion deeper, I realized the many contradictions in the text. We have a “will” but yet everything is planned for us.
My atheist friends would tell me that we weren’t that special. Just a speck of dust in the wind.
We give purpose and meaning to the tragedies that happen to us and to our own happiness. We can learn from the trials and tribulations that we go through but it doesn’t mean we deserved them. But I guess that’s the beauty too. Through other’s pains they can teach us about the beauty and mystery that life is.
The conclusion the speaker draws is beautiful. Praying.
I also have a child ..By becoming a mother, we think more about our child than ourselves. She is very honest .. her speech touched me :'( ;'( Such an amazing person !!
This has to be the most honest, insightful, courageous, vulnerable, amazing talk I have ever heard 💓💓💓💓
Love to you and your family & loved ones Kate. So sorry you are going through this. Strong brave talk, hugs x
“The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent; but if we can come to terms with this indifference and accept the challenges of life within the boundaries of death - however mutable man may be able to make them - our existence as a species can have genuine meaning and fulfillment. However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light”- Stanley Kubrick
Existentialism
Buddhism. "Be a light unto yourself."
I've Been Through
Painful Tragedy...
" When The Feelings Recede
Like The Tide
They Will Leave An Imprint "
"But I have a son." I can relate to that too well. That was the first thing that crossed my mind when I was diagnosed: my kids. Currently fighting it AND convinced I will beat it. 💪🏻Kate, you WILL live a very long life. Stay strong.
Thank you Kate for this beautiful heartfelt talk. Simply beautiful. Thank you 💗
Even as agnostic this was beautiful, very intelligent and deep. Hope you live for a long and your son to be proud of the beautiful strong lady you are. Thank you for this talk. It was truly touching!
I was an oncology nurse for over 30 years. The pain and suffering I saw was constant. I have asked God this same question for years and never came up with a “reason “. All I could do was pray cry and support my patients . I t broke my heart ❤️. I pray you live a very long life. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
that's beautiful. Love to you
I remember when my mom was dying and watching how people who she hadn’t seen in years would reach out to her to wish her well and in her death even her brother who had been gone for year no contact came. It was truly upsetting realizing people only seem to care when youre dying but at the same time im sure she felt the love that was talked about
This is the reason I will not have a funeral. If someone didn't have the time to see me while I was alive I will not give them the time to see me after I am gone. The people I love and those that love me see me all the the time. The rest can decide if not seeing me while alive was worth it.
Just getting around to watching this and wow, I am in tears. Out of all of the TED talks I have watched so far, this one really hit. Thank you, Kate Bowler. I really, really needed to watch this video.