Are We Raising Soft Kids?? Jocko Underground 030
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- čas přidán 5. 01. 2023
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Are we raising soft kids?
What's the single most difficult task/event?
Fixing a family relationship that may be unfixable.
Doing the right thing VS Being a snitch.
Things not under your control.
Homeschooling kids and teaching leadership qualities.
Been teaching middle school for 27 years. My students today are generally less athletic, come to us with less background knowledge. I have to work harder to 'toughen them up' than I did 27 years ago. As much as students fear my class, almost to a person they/their parents thank me for what they accomplish moving forward. I can't control how 'soft' they are, but can control what I do to build them up.
how do you toughen them up?
@@Rogdub a lot of times it's just being honest with them! Most breakdown but for a few it'll drive them!
You said they their, I think they softened you. Jk
I think ur just biased
Less athletic? I feel like kids now are more athletic. We have middle schoolers windmilling now.
Hard times will take care of that soon enough.
I think the longer it takes for our sense of normality to fail the worse the hard times will be
Sounds scary but true
Truth indeed!! I was just thinking the same thing.
Yeah im already working on home schooling my kids and keeping them away from the internet. Its so obvious to me how bad America has fallen to being squishy and weak. To the point that people dont even know how to identify themselves. China and Russia has their eyes on us.......
@@Artorias001 the weaker we become, the harder the times get, the stronger the next men will be.
“Are we raising soft kids”
Jocko: “Let me tell you about the SEALs” 😂
Absolutely we are raising soft kids.
My brothers and my sister grew up in the 60’s 70’s and 80’s. My dad started us out as young as 6 years old allowing us to drive tractors or his old pickup on the farm. We learned responsibility early and gained confidence operating machines at a very early age. My dad understood the principle that Jordan Peterson speaks of when he said we have to allow our children to do dangerous things carefully.
Yeah childhood years are imperative to learn and grow both mentally and physically, wish I would have had more early on because I had to toughen up the hard way in my twenties.
Schools need to be functional and make sense for 1
Bring back woodshop and integrate hands on classes. Each male learns from junior high to college everything about a car or everything about building a house so essentially it cuts out a lot of bs that we encounter in life.
Adults come in for a class a week voluntarily and share things they wished they would have known in school. Like to not waste any time and life is precious don't waste it, and stuff about taxes and real world preparation.
I taught my sons how to use a chainsaw at age 10 (with guidance of course) and they've used other tools to help me with all my home projects. I just taught my 8 year old daughter how to light a match. Not a critical life skill but I want her to respect and be able to control a heat/light source. My kids that are 16 or older always have bosses that compliment them on their work ethic and get promoted within a year or two. My 18 year old daughter was helping me sharpen my axe and she said, "It's not every girl that gets to learn how to sharpen an axe. Thanks dad!" She was being sarcastic but she is a tough worker. We call her the general.
Can’t build muscle without physical stress and I believe the same could be said about building character when life gets to be stressful. Get some!
A lot of metaphysical properties of human beings shows similarities with physical properties in my opinion.
Right on!
To much physical stress and your muscles don't grow too much mental stress and your character doesn't grow
@@Laocoon283 balance in all things 😎
A buddy's older brother told me "pain builds character" when we were boyscouts and he made us carry his bags. Funnily enough that's ended up becoming a bit of a motto that I've adopted because I realized it's actually true.
I was raised by my grandparents, who intern, had grown up during the great depression. These kids today have no idea what’s coming for them. I hope that there will be enough tough kids to lead them.
I'm young and what you might call " tough "...but who would listen to me ? I don't have a following or sales pitch so it's a waste of my energy. I hang around people like me from 18 to old guys like that
The lack of fathers in these modern families is a huge problem, especially from divorced families. The lack of discipline and personal responsibility is also a major issue that we as a culture of people need to change or we'll keep having blind cowards leading each other.
I would say sometimes a lack of a father is good depending on who the father is. As they obviously weren’t meant to be a parent or role model and that can even go for the mother or worse case scenario both parents. It’s really whatever raises a child to develop which shapes the future
I think it's gaming. Being outside out and about being creative, imaginative to entertain themselves is not happening.
@@RaulRodriguez-qf7nh to a degree but really it’s a complex matter to discuss and there’s way more to it than just that to focus on
This ain’t it chief
Jocko tends to ignore the anti-family pathologies of the Sexual Revolution in a misguided effort to remain within the liberal Overton Window and maintain "political neutrality".
I work with kids in a few capacities. There seems to be a divergence happening. The smart are getting smarter, the strong are getting stronger, and the soft are getting softer.
I believe it’s a direct correlation to the wealth distribution within our society. Of course there are always outliers, but for the most part, the smartest are usually the smartest and the strongest are usually the strongest because of resources. And wealth provides an ample amount of resources (good schools, good quality food, money for classes and tutors, etc).
@@xkben90
Total BS! It’s whether you come from a good family and how you are raised. There are wealthy kids that are absolute shit shows. Look at Joe Biden’s children. Compare them to Donald Trump‘s children. And I’m a big believer that you can tell what type of person someone is by looking at their children.
I was a child of the 70s and went to high school in college in the 80s. Money doesn’t have a damn thing to do with it. It’s how you are raised. Two of my three best friends in college are black. One comes from a textile, blue-collar family with a bunch of children. The other counselor, my white-collar, professional family with only two children. They have nothing in common other than both being male and black. But both are highly successful today, and both graduated from college, as did all of their siblings because they came from homes that had a mother and a father, and they were raised with the value of education and athletics critical to their development.
When progressives want to argue with me about all of the lies and BS coming from the left and about racism, racism racism I tell the story of my two good friends. Both of them were like brothers to me. And I’m from South Carolina. We’re from the deep south. What’s different about my two friends and the rest of the black community? They grew up in a home, owned by mom and dad with mom and dad at home and education was important as were sports. It’s how you are raised and what type of family you come from.
@@nedhill1242 I agree with most of your points. However, the OP was talking about how the strong are getting stronger, the smart are smarter, and soft are getting softer.
You’re right, how your kids grow up has a ton to do with how they were raised. But that’s exactly why I brought up wealth distribution. What you’re talking about are morals.
Im strictly referring to the fact that smart are getting smarter, rich are getting richer, strong are getting stronger. You can’t deny that most of those that are “getting ahead” have a better financial background. It’s how capitalism works. I’m not saying you can’t become successful or get ahead when you’re poor, but you’re 10x more likely to become successful (whatever that may mean) when your family is more financially stable.
Also, I wouldn’t compare Donald Trump and Joe Biden’s kids as an example. Rich or not, they were heavily involved in politics and fame, so they are outliers, not the norm. I am talking about your Your everyday normal family. The ones with money typically do better for their kids in terms of getting ahead than the ones that scrape by paycheck to paycheck.
maybe the softer ones where the smart ones cause they allocate their time more for the mental activities rather than physical one?
@@xkben90
I wasn’t talking about morals at all. I was talking about the values you were raised with, and the way you are taught to be self-sufficient, personal responsibility, taking charge of your life etc. etc. Not being raised as a victim for example.
Huge cultural shock coming from the Eastern Bloc to an American school in a safe community. One thing that I'll say is that I was raised to be hard but American schools destroy you mentally. You can get bullied constantly but if you fight back then you're the one that gets in trouble and the "trouble maker" label. In Romania growing up we watched out for each other and no one really had shit so everyone was on equal ground. In the US kids flex about all the shit they have AND THEY HAVE EVERYTHING! Most worry about the stuff they don't have vs the stuff that they do which to me is a weak mindset. I LOVE the US though not going to lie. The worst most kids deal with in school is some mental bullying and any fight they get into will be one of the funniest things you'll watch. Most schools are like that in the US but the sad thing is there's schools that have some "Hard kids" ready to blow your head off at 12 years old so it's all subjective. Getting someone to be "hard" doesn't take much but if your whole life you've been programmed to feel "safe" then I could see how that turns people "soft". This is why I think EVERY kid should get a military LIKE basic training to learn discipline, letting go of the sense of entitlement where you eat shit for once in your life and ROUTINES! My grandpa always told me that "the Wolf that has to climb the mountain will destroy the wolf that was born sitting at the top"
the schools destroy you mentally. yes. and that is done on purpose.
i wish i had known to simply pay the troublemaker tax by fighting back. yet that's what does not happen when they get inside your head. as insidious as anything pyongyang has dreamt up. it causes most kids to move to the 'safe' life. you stay out of trouble, and theoretically, you get your crumbs as an adult.
as for the 'hard kids', you certainly don't want to pay your troublemaker tax on them -unless your life literally depends on it.
PE or 'physical education' or 'gym' is the military like training in schools used to have. if you look at vids of american school gym classes up until the 1970s, you'll see there is a military element. rope climbing kind of stuff, as well as some sports. post-vietnam backlash against 'militarism' was the beginning of the end for that.
"wolf that has to climb the mountain will destroy the wolf that was born at the top of it". wisdom from David Goggins and your grandfather alike. tho for sake of argument, i will point out that the one born at the top will be used to colder climate.
@@Numantino312 lol David Goggins or Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jon Rothstein or one of the oldest wisest phrases in human history...my family lived by the mountains around wolves, bears so it was the easiest animals to relate to. Good phrases don't die they might get changed but the meaning is the same. You missed the point...as far as the wolf on top of the mountain being used to colder climate won't matter since both were born with the same fur. Climbing the mountain that wolf will be so fucking sweating bring it on...bitch ass looking to argue 🤣
@@tedmihalca same fur? not always. perhaps to the point that 'flatland wolves' are literally separate species from 'mountain wolves'.
same fur or not, as part of taking the mountain top, that plains wolf may have to quietly live up there hidden for months before it has enough handle on the cold to attack the mountain top wolf.
i quite get the point. the mountain top wolf does not have reason to work hard or grow itself. just has to push a challenger back down the hillside. like people who are born into palaces, all they have to do is yell "guards!"
meanwhile, wolf from the flatlands? "i want that mountaintop and i'll do whatever i have to do to get it". and IF that flatlands wolf makes it up there (cos it might not), he's there for business, and will put his ALL into dethroning the mountaintop wolf, and now has mountain scaling lessons to draw on. versus the mountaintop wolf? it's bewildered by the plains wolf that 1 climbs back up after being pushed, 2 approaches/surprises from different angle. 3 perhaps on multiple different attempts.
human example: kid from the slums? "i want that palace, and i'll do what it takes" Andrew Tate and David Goggins on that last one.
stop doing drugs! also wtf is your point lol?
Don't let that stop you from fighting back. Screw the school system. I'm a teacher, and I'm telling you to not fucking take it.
I was a middle manager until this summer who, for the most part, hired young people. 80% of them I cannot figure out how they survived this long, it’s insane.
My fear is that those who grow up to be responsible, hard working respectable people will be punished and ostracized by the majority who cry and yell to get their way when life gets a little uncomfortable.
I think we are already living that nightmare!
Even the good ones with solid attitudes have ZERO ability to self start. They have to be lead by the nose. “You didn’t tell me”. One dude like that but when you give him detailed instruction he works his ass off until he has carried everything out. Then he is useless again.
I disagree. The respectable and strong individuals will not be punished or ostracized. Not sure where you get that theory from. Look around the world and tell me that it’s dominated by weak individuals.
@@semper7717 maybe you’re right, I just said it was a fear based on what I’m seeing. In the U.S. there is a massive workplace movement happening with young people, including quiet quitting. Young people are railing against the idea of working 40+ hours a week and the economy is trying to creep towards socialism. The military reports record low recruitment due to people not meeting physical standards. There are millions of able bodied people unemployed and not looking. Not all of that stuff is all wrong or bad, but observing the trends it seems like people who do much less are demanding more and more and I’m afraid before long (especially with tech) there will be less of an incentive to work hard and be a contributor to society
I see where you are coming from.
I'm a forklift driver in Australia and the kinds of folks we get and the standard I see can be quite discouraging.
It seems the best workers are punished and all you have to do get by is turn up and and do the bare minimum.
If you are skilled and hard working you get all the shit jobs.
If you are useless and lazy you get all the cream job.
It shouldn't work like that.
That's not to say there aren't good people out there though.
You just have to cycle through enough of them to find the diamonds.
I can hear our ancestors ' these kids with these bronze tools; in my day we made ours out of rocks'. True story; my grandfather lived in the north part of the Florida Panhandle. My grandmother lived in Southern Alabama. My grandfather rode a horse and carried a revolver when he was courting my grandmother. He wasn't so much worried about animals as the boys in town - they didn't like a foreigner courting the local girls. My great-grandfather allowed my grandfather to court my grandmother because he was the only young man around who could stay on the other end of a 2-man saw with him. We might be soft compared to that - but they had no choice, they lived the hand they were dealt. We have lost some of the need, but not the capacity in universal terms.
Those closing remarks were well said.
Sounds like a reasonable requirement to allow someone to marry your daughter to me 🤣🤣 that's amazing haha
ALL our ancestors worried about the next generation being strong enough. legitimately so, cos that's the only reason many of us are here alive at all.
the people who said "everything's fine; i'll just let my kids be..." we never hear from them cos they were smashed into the ground by the mongolians, zulus, krauts, aztecs, papuans, algonquins, marines, etc.
the "kids will be fine" bloodline is not around to complain that the game was rigged.
These days I’d drop your great grandfather and take his daughter anyway haha
Gulf coast 850 baby we different
I think most people highly underestimate the capacity of young people. As I look at historical records and remember conversations with my great grandparents (a while ago) they were all young teens fighting wars and living off the land in the mountains. If you look at the ages of people during revolutionary times and their roles on ship or in battle its amazing. I think that if we stop coddling and putting down the younger generations and instead focus on giving them responsibility and guidance they will show everyone the true heights humans can achieve. Teach them to fail, learn and get up, dont take away their ability to try is my thought.
Well said
you are right about younger people stepping up, rising up to some serious occasions.
yet WHEN will we stop coddling? WHEN will we give them responsibility?
I couldn't agree more!
@@Numantino312 That's up to you and your peers
Jocko saying "you have to accept death" and expect to do the activity forever is the exact way the entirety of USMC boot camp felt. Every exercise felt like that. That sentence resonated with me unlike most things ever could. Awesome clip, guys.
it's like the russian saying of "today is as good a day to die as any other".
whether one is faced with burning car wreck, falling thru ice into river, fight against mountain lion, riot, revolution, or other life and death fight; whether one is seal-trained or regular schmo... if nobody (seals, marines, police, fire, or simply Dad) is coming, you have no choice but to fight to survive. i think most effective fight-for-life comes when you basically say "i don't care, i'm fucking dead anyways".
When we talk "soft" or "not soft" we're not even talking about physical strength, but rather we're talking about grit. Grit is built through adversity and challenge. Kids need to be demanded to do a little more than they thought they were capable of. And this can be done through any of a host of methods. But mostly getting them to believe that they can, through force of will, overcome the mountain in front of them.
this is crucial for me raising 2 boys. i want them to stand strong with life
Keep them off social media and video games and get them outdoors and lead by example.
If your already doing that then don't worry, you'll do just fine. And I bet you will do just fine cause you watch stuff like Jock Podcast.
My nephew is 24 now and a complete snowflake because of how he was raised. I feel ashamed for that being that if I knew better I could have lead by example when he was younger. He isn't even my kid but I still feel somewhat responsible because he is blood. He has never worked a day in his life, he is soft, does nothing but eat and drink sugary bullshit food that isn't food and plays videos games allllll day long. That's his life. That is all he knows.
Please don't let you kids turn out like him.
@@ChuckCanada1 public schools and group think are also feeding into the snowing snowflakes
Get them into some form of martial arts. They’ll learn discipline, respect, patience, camaraderie, physical fitness and…. that even though they’re strong, they don’t have to use it.
Between 14-27 boys have a lot of hormonal changes that the liver has difficulty coping with. It can easily turn to aggression/toxic masculinity.
Martial arts gives them a channel for that energy.
Don’t hover over them like a hawk. Speaking from experience
The biggest problem to me is that we shifted from "parents are the boss" to "kids are the boss". They always excuse their pathetic behavior with "I don't wanna frustrate/beat my children" come on, life frustrates you more than once EVERY DAY, life is BRUTAL I don't know for which fantasy world these parents are raising their kids but it definitely ain't for the real world.
Yup that is the truth. My dad use to say " life is gonna give you some hard hits, id rather give them to you here first". He made good on it and he was right. Dont spare the rod.
I work with kids and I can definitely that kids are the boss. During training for work, we are taught that we as group leaders need to take charge and be the boss. No one likes a kid boss.
Exactly! Nowadays kids and pets are run the household
We need to tell children the truth. Life is hard and stressful. I served in Iraq and came home messed up. I had a very stressful job that I left after 9 years for a cushy government one. I’m healthy with a good family and a lot going for me, but I still get stressed, anxious, depressed and have trouble sleeping at times. That’s life. You can’t fix it with lies and pills. You have to just push through.
I really appreciate the fact that Jocko brings more nuance to situations.
The word "Discipline" comes from the same root as "Disciple".
We need to raise kids that are strong enough not only to be Dsciplined, but also strong enough to not be Disciples of bad thinking, bad leadership, bad strategy, etc.
We don't need more blind followers. We need more good leaders.
I think someone wrote a book about that, too, eh?
👍
Perseverance training is the key. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.
One major issue is the unbelievable lack of focus on education. The amount of kids who can barely read before high school is shocking.
Completion of college and grad school is at an all time high, so is literacy
Im an old dad. Had first kid at 38. Have 3 now. I know Im raising soft kids and I lay in bed every night unable to sleep because of it. Fine line between protecting them and making them soft. Covid is no excuse but a lot of this started back then. I'd say the biggest problem is differences between my wife's and my methods. Make sure you and your wife are on same page about these things before you have kids. Gave in on many things because I wanted to be part of their lives every day. I love my wife but truth is we are/were never on same page as far as that goes.
Take them out hiking. Get them into jujitsu. Set up gym in your garden. Wrestle with them.
@@Heidi123 His wife probably won't let him do that, and if he pushes the issue, he'll get raped by the courts when she divorces him. Based on what he said, it sounds like he made the mistake of marrying a "strong, independent woman."
You're supposed to prepare them, not protect them
God bless you sir, good teachers are worth their weight in gold.
Back in the day my most prized possessions were like a 35 dollar pocket knife and my hole i dug in the back yard. Now its most likely video game consoles, ipad/iphone, etc. Daily activitys included going outside and playing with friends, climbing trees and riding bikes. Now not so much.
For those who are interested in reading more about this subject, I highly recommend the book titled *Boys Adrift* by Leonard Sax. It is very insightful on the reasons why most boys these days seem to be more unmotivated than before.
Thank you Jocko and Echo for discussing and addressing this topic.
I very much appreciate this podcast.
*Jocko Willink is the Reluctant Leader we need.*
.....We know you've done enough, but your Nation needs you.
🇺🇸 *2024* 🦅
Top video from Jocko as always. Cheers.
These kids never rode their bikes to the park, figured out how many people showed up, and organied a pick up game of ball. Their whole lives they had someone take them to the park, watch over them, tell them when it was time to go, and take them home.
Yes! Yes, we are. I don't even have to watch this to answer that. I, of course, am watching it.
Inspiration & purpose is what they lack. They need a reason to become the best versions of themselves early on so they can enjoy their prime & celebrate their youth, not just wander around aimlessly like I did well into my twenties.
Mr. Jocko with all the respect, 85% ARE WEAK 15% are TOUGH. So the answer would be YES! in my humble opinion.
I have to agree that the environment plays a part ultimately it’s how these kids are raised at home. My baby sister is 17 and for the last 7 years she wakes up on her own at 6-7am works out, A student and and completely focused towards her craft as a ballet dancer. I see this and I get motivation from her and I teach her what I can about the things she can’t really learn, experience or have access to at her young age.
All this is to say all we can do is teach what we can a every opportunity with these kids and just try and leave them with something a bit memorable because like Jocko said they’re smart af , but that can lead to them thinking they know everything. But especially in the young men, proper general values have to be instilled it sucks to see a kid who values things that as a 28 year old man I learned are useless in life.
Jocko, always spitting facts
I think something we all forget is that the pool of talent is more diluted now than it ever has been because there are twice as many people now than there were a hundred years ago. There are more geniuses, athletes, and winners than there ever have been before. There are also more idiots, gluttons, and losers than there ever have been before.
I think many of us are trying to manufacture artifical struggles to toughen up. But it's different than actually living through shit for 2 decades and grow out of it.
I've been working in behavioral health with youth and intensive intervention in education for the past 5 years. What I can say is that there is a lack of a positive male figure or a consistent one in these young peoples lives. These kids are also being coddled and so they can't handle being told no.
"hucking rocks at each other"...made me LOL. Those were good times!
There was a seal instructor on one of those documentaries and he said something like "mental toughness is not something that can be trained or taught. You either have it or you don't."
I forget where I heard this but it was some military training thing. It doesn't matter if you can do 10 pushups or 100 they will push you to go beyond what you think you can do. So whether it's pushing you to 11/12 or 101/102 they will push you body past the point where it says "I've done all I can." It's up to the persons mind and will power to say "No, I'm not giving up."
Given Tommy a trophy for doing nothing.......Has truly caught up with us.
And everyone who spoke up against it was demeaned and villified as a bully.
They had to show up. Don't you realize how hard that is?😄
Maybe tommy thing is a real specific incident ur speaking of. And if so I'm ignorant of that.
But I'm actually for participation trophies. I feel like it's become this phrase to mean kids start off in sports getting trophies when they didn't win, and therefore take that attitude in life in general. That if they just show up, they'll be rewarded.
And i understand how that mindset could be negative.
But in my experience that's way over blown and not the case the vast majority of times.
Here's my argument.. but i have to add some context for it to make sense...
Thinking about 2 specific years that i played football. 1 of those years we went undefeated and won the ship. The second year we lost a couple games in the regular season and then in the first round of playoffs.
For the ship year we got ship trophies. For the playoff loss year we got a necklace with a medallion type thing and a participation trophy. Luckily for me over the course of my time playing we never not made the playoffs at least and we went to the ship multiple times. So i always felt like we earned what we got.
Buuuuuuuut, over that course of time. There were teams who were just consistently bad. 0-2 wins per season.
They got participation trophies.
Participation. Not championship trophies. Participation trophies. These are kids not adults.
They did win at something.. having heart. Having fight. Having will. Those kids went to practice 3 days a week. And then played a game on Saturday knowing the other team was gonna put up 60 points. Knowing they were gonna get ran over.
There's something to celebrate about a kid. Who despite that. Gets up and gets after it every single time.
And i feel like even as an adult now. That's still advice we get. You fall off the horse get back on it. Bc u persistence and will to keep fighting tho knocked down will inevitably lead to results. Maybe not the result you want. But a better position than from where u started.
And i think it's a good thing to put in kids heads that if you get out there and truly compete, there's some sorta light at the end of the tunnel.
Of course i didn't realize this at the time. But thinking back, those kids used to be excited about their participation trophies. They put in all that work, got smacked around. And at the least they get a lil sumn that DOESN'T represent winning a ship. It represents their hardwork and dedication not only to themselves. But to the other players. To their coaches. To their parents. To their community.
Over here we like to act like we want these kids who are tough, thick skinned, and resilient. But you guys want to take away a symbol of that resilience for those same kids.
And the ones handing them out were your parents just like theirs did before them and you do now
@@westerngroovetv symbol of resilience? screw that! i want the real thing, and i certainly want my kids to have the real thing. the only valid 'participation trophy' is an awesome team banquet at season's end, a tshirt that says something like "Western Grove Football 2023", and yes especially The Lessons. anything else is just shelf clutter, and expensive shelf clutter at that.
the lessons of "you did not make it to number one" are 1, work harder and work smarter next time, keep at it... or 2 find the game/endeavor you are at home in, where you are truly meant to thrive.
on that last one, instead of football, perhaps a kid from your team was ultimately meant to thrive in swimming, lacrosse, soccer, bmx, or even chess.
which winners go far? as they receive their tri-county championship trophy, they are already thinking "next year, state champions". and not as an entitlement, but with recognition that their opponents for states are hungrier, thirstier, and harder than anyone they've encountered thus far.
we're intrigued by the gold medal winners and the seals, because there are so few of the number one winners. yet the kids from the losing team who learned how to wake up for daily 5am practice likely got more out of that season than the kids with winner trophies who are not looking ahead. looking ahead is important cos there are plenty of former football heroes who nowadays work at the carwash or drive the forklift at the local lumber yard.
it's usually intended to be a sop for the losing team, but that saying of "not whether you win or lose but how you play the game": that fact goes far deeper than what most people realize.
The reason so many people are raising "soft" kids these days is because they don't want their kids to deal with what they had to. Coming off generations of physical or emotional abuse in an attempt to raise "hard" kids is what created a generation of parents looking to change that. Maybe the lesson to be learned is to just raise kids. let them live their own life and find their own way and inevitably they will be tough, hardworking people. The harder you try to go either other direction, the worse impact it has.
I agree, but you can’t let kids raise themselves. There needs to be a level of dicipline, respect, selflessness, and work ethic that people, if not forced to learn by their environment, will not learn by themselves because it is easy to be lazy. The role of a parent to to instill this. You need to find the right balance to not be abusive nor pampering.
physical and emotional abuse is obviously wrong. and nobody in their right mind wants to re-create the Great Depression or WW2 on their kids. yet there most kids decline if left to their own devices. [left to their own selves, or to actual electronic devices].
if a kid can go outside and ride bmx (likely alone, except for bike thieves and bullies) in the hot/cold/rain/dirt versus playing video games in a clean safe warm house where they can unplug from other players they dislike, what do you think they will choose?
and if parents are worried about physical safety (gangs or child abduction) guess what they will prefer for their kids.
it's important for parents to crack the whip in terms of discipline, or encourage their kids into a circumstance where they can learn such. cos if parents don't crack the whip of discipline, life absolutely will. and life does not care in the least about "this is too much" or "this is abusive" or "this is unfair".
@@Numantino312 straight facts. Well fuckin said. And I’m only a teen
I get what your saying but you can make your kids tougher without being emotionally or physically abusive.
@@Numantino312 hell even games have become weak. Back in the day game shad zero moderation so insults and pissing matches where common place made you emotionally stronger
YES
Yes
Heard a great comment from Goggins while watching a clip from a recent podcast. He essentially said that it's easy to be strong these days because everyone is so weak, so if you at least make the effort to train and better yourself, you're already doing better than most of the people here in the US who are fat, weak, soft, and riddled with medical issues. I see this almost every day at work with so many younger people(and some old that are near retirement) who just don't care and can't handle pressure or job stress. If you show even the most minimal effort you wind up getting rewarded/move up/get a raise because so many of the young people that make up the work environment are lazy and weak minded. I feel like these days the "participation trophy" mentality has ruined a lot and many people no longer have pride or the desire to go out and succeed. I remember high school sports 25 years ago, if you sucked the coach told you so and you either worked harder or you continued to suck. Nowadays they take all the kids out for pizza after a loss and give them trophies for competing instead of winning. Seeing it start to come in to college sports now with all the transfer portal nonsense, kids not wanting to play for old school coaches who yell and push them hard, etc.
It's the goal of every generation to make the world better for the next generation, and then complain how easy that generation has it
The engine to boat crew analogy was solid.
Get them in a good scout troop. Both my son and daughter have been in for a couple years. Give it enough camping and hiking trips in the cold and the rain, the challenge of herding middle schoolers, and they become tough leaders. They are easily 2y ahead of their peers maturity wise and can start a fire in wet wood with a single match. So proud. But also it’s an amazing program. Give kids opportunities to shine and they will. Shelter them and they’ll stay soft
Are we raising soft kids? That's what my grandfather generation said about my father's generation. That's what the current kid generation will say about the future kids generation. And we keep going on.
We have to consider the context of the moment. My father was considered a soft kid by the standard of my grandfather generation, because at the age of 14, he was studying instead of working. And perhaps he was... compared to his father, but is it necessarily a bad thing?
Great video Jocko!
Just got off the ice with my 4 year old son. I’ve had him playing hockey since he was 2. He plays a bunch of sports, hockey and snowboarding are his favorite and we’re about to start him in some bjj.
I agree though most kids are weak now. He’s a rowdy kid and it’s tough to balance that with most the kids he meets and knows. A lot do them don’t play rough
Instilling discipline & responsibility is empowering.
I think there’s a difference between external and internal toughness. External toughness is about bravado and being closed off emotionally to seem tough. Internal toughness is about having mental endurance, diligence and consistency. Working in high pressure environments, taking AP classes and being pushed physically leads to internal toughness.
Life is a lot different today that it was 100 years ago. Much more creature comforts. Not many hunter/gatherers today.
I think the 80’s and 90’s and 2000’s where easy times, so that created weak ones. Now times are harder and the vail has been taken off.
Lucky we have the internet that can teach all those kids that grow up with out the right mentors are getting the right mentors. There’s so much great info in the internet that any human who wants to become better can have the access. Before we did not have that
It's a mix. Like always
Camera work is superb.
Great points!
So how should society be championing the gifted few?
I love listening to these maniacs, they always get me fired up
Go to the skate parks or surfing spots , I meet some badass talented tuff kids who I became friends with.
100%
Being bad ass isnt just a physical attribute. Its a state of mind. Simply being fit and able to do tricks on a skateboard doesn't automatically make someone bad ass
@@Straight_White_Fatherly_Figure it’s not the fact that they can do the tricks it’s what had to do get to there, you have to be willing to risk injury and overcome fear and keep going even as you fall over and over again to be able to do them
@@muhilan8540 as a boy that kind of stuff is fairly normal though. Rather its skateboarding or riding dirt bikes. BMX, football. I get what you're saying but ive met some mentally weak skateboarders back when i used to skate. I was mentally weak until i jumped over a bunch of real life adulthood scenarios.
Exactly. There's plenty of swimmers, skateboard guys, basketball guys, guys playing football, etc. They're taking basic risks as people from past generations.
That's why I don't get it when society says we have too many weak, soft guys. I'd say not anymore than back then. The only difference is that now we can notice it more than before because we have the internet and read about weak, soft men
My family grew up with borderline poverty, we played outside all the time, we got jobs young, we split firewood for heat in the winter, learned money and responsibility early and I am proud to say I am a functioning hard working member of society. My brothers, even the youngest, have their own opinions and pride in their abilities and are competent solid individuals, my sister is tough as nails and was not coddled by us. Our family is strong together and as individuals because our life was hard. This is missing from kids these days, they feel purposeless and things come to easy, so they can’t truly appreciate what they have. Hardship breeds character.
Hell yes!!!
It's all about not giving up.
I live right next to a MAJOR high school, elementary school, and a Jr. high school in suburban Arizona. A very nice place. I can't remember the last time I've ever seen a pack of kids playing outside. Ever. Occasionally you see a couple brothers or friends riding bikes or playing hockey in the street, but never groups like we used to have. Makes me wonder if the parents are sheltering them, or if they are so addicted to technology now it almost doesn't matter. Regardless, if you never leave your house, you naturally become soft.
...when I go down to the valley to visit the in-laws, from outside Flag's city limits. I'm shocked that their neighborhood's seem deserted... but then you look at the teny-tiny, rock filled front yard's, and the big backyards, makes you kinda wonder. Then too, as a parent, do you really want your kid out in 120° heat? The world would be a different place without A.C.
As a late bloomer to parenthood ,(40). I have a 2 year old daughter who I hope will enjoy the martial arts and respect!
Given the time a resources most can become tough...To me tough is being dropped off in the woods or learning how to survive and protect yourselve with the playing field being equal....We all know some people get care packages 🙄
Great talk from jocko! “Weak men” is hyperbolic- how much of this is driven by marketing?
Awesome video
Yup
Gotta find a way to balance. Not too brutal but not too loose. Teach good morals good ethics social skills perspective but not be a POS or ignorant. It’s hard to put in words
You know we're in trouble when you see warnings about 'smoking' in movies and tv shows.
If they don't know pain, how can they learn to deal with and disconnect from it? If pain and discomfort control your life, it will be impossible to move past the moments that would bring incredible success. Teaching kids how to deal with emotion and pain is paramount to maturity and respect for intelligence and integrity
Constant war for strong kids!
Spot on car analogy
I believe the question is referring to the average, not the top tier BUDS candidate
My mother in law and sister in law get upset with my wife and I for being so strict on our 3 year old, but I will never apologize for it. I'm building kids that will be ready for the real world and hard times.
Majority of the house is fooled. Replacement factor. Empty pool has to be considered. ❤❤❤
My wife grew up in Eastern Europe during communism, and I grew up in a poor gang and drug ridden American 'hood. As she likes to say, "There are sheep and wolves in this world. We don't have sheep in this family." But now our hustle and hard work have our kids growing up in an idyllic vacation town with no real wants. The question of avoiding softness is one that I've thought quite a bit about, and it just involves introducing hard things with absolute standards. Whether it's an individual sport, a natural obstacle (we've got those aplenty here in the mountains), or a job with a reward if you make the grade. Having progressively harder versions of these not only avoids softness but also teaches the all important enjoyment of the process as much as the result!
This is a question ? Pretty easy to see in so many different ways .
😒 Look how Jaden turned out.
😐 I should've read to him, "The Way of the Warrior Kid".
Kids have little participation in how their parents raise them. ie. Parents have to get over their own trauma and parent better. If you believe that parenting was better in the past, that is borked. I mean broken yet working. Most psychiatric nurses I deal with have stated one true thing. " Not all kids learn coping."
I’ve been working in higher education for a decade, and imo, the answer is a resounding yes. We are raising VERY weak kids today.
Of course, there are exceptions. Jocko gave good examples of not-so-weak kids today, using the military as an example. But, the bigger question is how many of those kids are there, compared to the number of gaming, social media addicted, button pushing, malnourished kids today?
The sad, but realistic answer is - too many. There are far too many weak kids today than strong kids. And for most of the ones entering colleges today, their mental/emotional/spiritual weakness is a far worse problem than their physical weakness. The physical weaknesses are often a direct result of their mental weaknesses.
My recommendation is for parents to teach their children resiliency. Part of learning to succeed is learning how to adapt and overcome after failure. As Jocko said, the people that make it into the SEALS are those that don’t quit. That comes from a mindset of resiliency.
I remember as a kid and a teenager my Google was the encyclopedia set and dictionary my father invested in. My father never had a formal education and taught himself to read and write. He wanted us to have opportunities he never had growing up
Long answer, yes.
I think in this day & age kids are not as aggressive but when they leave school & go into the big wide world they mostly all change, as you say when they they find their path their on it & super keen
As a millenial who's experienced a measure of hardship the past few years that have opened my eyes to reality undoubtedly I have to say yes. We're a generation of men raised by women under social conditions that not only repress but shame our expressions of masculinity withi the context of American society.
Every aspect of US society is geared towards luxury, women, and passing dopamine spikes. To be a well-adjusted man with strong will, and strong mind, and a strong body the path of struggle and self-discipline is an absolute necessity. The qualities and conditions that bring them out however are severely lackig in Western culture.
When surrounded by most "men" my age I feel like I'm surrounded by overgrown boys talking about non-sense like Chuckie Cheeses and tik tok videos of sexual frustrated dogs ravaging pillows. I'd much rather interact with men older than me than people my age.
It’s worse for Gen Z
Was at my boy’s wrestling tournament this weekend and I counted at least 50 kids or more crying there eyes out. Couldn’t believe it. They were all in seventh and eighth grade. It was so rare to see someone cry after a match when I went through middle school. Soft.
Oh FFS. And I was embarrassed enough by my 11yr old nephew crying about losing a baseball game. My daughters (both are younger than him) were both just like wtf? Few days later, his mom commented about another boy his age being a crybaby. smh
When we were kids we used to spin a big chain on the ground with a lock at the end and you had to jump the chain not to get hit. Why? Because there wasn't social media no cable no internet lol. I think social media has alot to do with people becoming softer.
On average kids are probably softer these days but as a snowboarder and cliff jumper (in my 40’s) I can confirm that there are highly exceptional young people that do mind-bending things. I can’t believe how big and how gnarly I see kids go these days.
Myopic, but makes sense in a resource scarce environment. In a healthier world, balance of physical, mental, emotional and decency quotient is better.
The attrician rate is the samr but what is the applicate rate?
As a teacher myself (primary school), most students are amazing with technology (no surprise). However, their fitness is disgusting, majority of students are overweight, struggle to handle difficult situations and lack resilience skills when things are tough. The future will be interesting...
More kids than ever are being raised soft. Look at the obesity rate now. There will always be the top tier of “hard kids” but the bottom is getting larger. Now I’ll blame diet and devices.
Our two daughters are living unsoft lives as a result of how we raised them including not letting them get phones young, feeding them proper food, allowing them to think for themselves and have an independence that we saw was not the case with their friends.
They both have very level heads while facing adversity and stressful situations.
Yes we sure are, I don't have kids but I'm observant
The destruction of the nuclear family and the cultural devalorization of it as an esential part of our society has greatly impacted on kids… It’s inimaginable how possible is for a kid to reach adulthood absolutely broken when they don’t have a proper family.
It’s not the endurance or physical toughness it’s the entitlement some kids have. Many don’t want to earn it.
The term you're referring to is "duty cycle".
My son was born in NYC in 2011 and we had to leave to avoid being around parents who are raising medicated moosh for kids
Medication such as what? SSRIs?
@brianvanbeek2064 is more than likely what they are referring to. That's what I hear most often.
@@brianvanbeek2064 yes.. as young as 3
I’ve pushed myself past mental barrier multiple times in football. My brain was like a flashing warning sign saying shut down. I repeat SHUT DOWN! And I was like nah and hit the override button. My brain wasn’t bullshitting tho. As ten seconds later every muscle in my body went into a cramp from sweating out all my water
Definitely truth to it but the 80 year conflict cycle is more so repeated political mistakes vs weak men. People adapt to their surroundings, when times are tough you toughen up, when times are easy more tend to be soft just the way it is