2 arranged marriage mistakes you MUST avoid
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- čas přidán 24. 06. 2024
- I’m Shridhar, a Counseling Psychologist. Arranged Marriages can be very confusing. Stakes are high. You don’t want to make a very bad decision. In today’s video I have made the selection procedure easier for you. I have discussed two things you must NOT focus on, while choosing your partner.
Watch the next video: • One CRUCIAL question i...
(One question to ask yourself before choosing your husband or wife)
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0:00 Problem
0:38 First bad criterion (mistake)
1:35 (Finding best match for me)
4:02 What to actually focus on
4:13 Info about counseling
4:22 Second bad criterion (mistake)
7:28 The core idea and questions you must ask
7:59 Selecting one option from two
8:22 What to actually focus on (repeated)
8:34 Final comments
❤️Thnks for this video and ya my first two years with my girlfriend were also the worst year as we also have fought alot but now the things are way much better than past 😃
Mine was arranged marriage based on kundli and background but things were not right at all. Me and my husband r totally poles apart. Nothing matches at all. I struggled a lot in these 14 years. Gone through depression. Still fighting anxiety issues. He is just opposite of what i wanted. But still i have comprised and we have mutual understanding of being let each other. But still its not a compatible marriage, its completely compromised. I m not completely sad but not happy either. My father didnt agree for the boy i chose as he was south indian though he was from same caste. Whether love or arrange u need to bring out understanding, its just sometimes things r hard and sometimes things r easy. Easy or hard we need to work on relationship. Either arranged or love, if we r not happy nothing makes sense
Tear away old technique. Be contemporary. Be ever new.
Stop thinking about your boy friend even after 14 years of marriage. Maybe your husband didn’t even have a chance right from start..
Sensing it was a compromise from the beginning. What all questions did you ask him? Did you tell him about your boyfriend? Did you share your expectations clearly? What was the reason you married that person?
Thank you sir for ur best insights❤
Thank you for this video ❤
I actually told my mom that is gambling 🤣 either a jackpot or just an accident for life
I asked the same thing to my dad about my sister marriage, he told the same thing
men are at losing end in this game.. to win in this game, better not to play it
Fantastic ❤
Thank you sooo sooo much 🙏🏻
8:04 Absolutely Agree With Ur Perspective On This Point..❤
Bt, Not Agreeing With Ur Astrological Views...
Overall It's A Good Mixture Lyk An Average Marriage!👍🏼
The Age-Factor really dials down or eradicates good ideas one should THINK about employing in finding a good partner. The other thing is leaving all on luck or god and not putting in efforts to even "let's say" strike a healthy conversation with the person you think is good for you.
In the World that I know of or have experienced what you say is to me feels like the future of how relationships should be built rather what predominantly exists Today.
Then again this is based on my World. Others would have their say too.
Nice video though ✌️
Hi can you make more videos on the topic.. as most of people these days are lost and confused thereby making bad decisions leading to life longi suffering
SUPERB YARR...
You're not wrong about people focusing too much on half baked knowledge of horoscope, but if you locate an expert who makes accurate predictions, it definitely can be very beneficial. This along with personal effort and all those points you said could make a marriage great.
Great video
I think you need to consult an astrologer instead of going through some random article yourself in order to check for your compatibility.
If there is option to hit like multiple times then I would like to give 1000 likes to this video ❤❤❤
I believe we only get married to destined partner.. bas to kundli milao ya fir aaise hi karo… most of the people don’t even know what is actually kundli matching.. bas Gun Milan karte hai and kam done..
Thanks Sir... I
I wish to talk to you personally sir.... How can i book a personal counseling
Sir, it was good video. If the person is already married and got stuck in the middle of the married life ,I cannot find any solution
The solution is to STAY AWAY FROM BREAKING FAMILIES...If he/she want they will break away themselves. It is rather better he/she breaks away without the pretext that u will fill their couples gap.
I am Hindu and 24 years old
He is Christian and 25 years
Both of our parents are not okay with this
Initially, everything was Okay and we had a clear cut ideas in how we are going to marry and how to convince parents. We had dream of having modern cool future.
Unexpectedly, his brother passed away and he is single child now
His parents are in thought that their Christianity religious aspects should not cut off within him, as it should develop via his generation.
He is bothering much about hid parents that he wants me to convert as a Christian now (so that he can easily convince his parents), expecting to completely wash out my culture, likes, dislikes , feelings etc... and I really do not appreciated that stuffs in general. I expect that he could make his parents understand that being extremely religious is not good.
I always respect their culture and I am ready to get part of all their religious activities, I expect the same or at least a rare engage is also fine.
All of a sudden everything got changed.
Now I am helpless even from my bf.
But still....I am ready to convince my parents at any cost without putting up any religious beliefs on my bf. But why cant he?
-Does he really need to think from their parents perspective?
-Do I need to adjust with that?
-Am I expecting anything wrong...Totally confused.
Please don't marry the guy.. you will never be happy.. you will feel suffocated agreeing everything on their terms and forgetting your values.
it's now ur religion later it might be ur dressing style and totally you he wants to changes as his parents wish. U can learn all his culture and practice it and carry it to ur kids but u have the equal responsibility of making your children learn ur culture and traditions as well.
Anyone can adjust for a certain period. You need to question that how long is this adjustment is going to last? Is it short or forever?
Marriage is just a beginning. How are you planning to grow your household activities, kids etc.
I can understand that losing a loved one can shift a lot things.
I can understand that you are attached to your boyfriend. Give him time to think and come out of his loss.
Later you can come to a decision.
You should marry only Hindu.
Pls don't change ur religion if u don't want to. You're very young u will find someone
I already made the mistake. Can't help it now.
Could you pls make this video in Hindi u know why I am asking you my parents don't understand English and they are not going to listen my thoughts 🙄 whatever you said in this video ,it will be really helpful if you could make Hindi version of this video
Bhai, "In my experience, if the girl's family lacks closeness and cohesion, operating more as individual units rather than a closely bonded collective, there might be challenges in integrating them into your extended family. This could potentially impact the harmony of your own family life."
Bhai was your marriage arranged or love ? you know all the pitholes of arranged marriage in detail..that's great. Your expertise in this field led me to ask this question to you 😀
I'm not even married yet. But ya it's going to be love marriage. And I know about arranged marriages so much because I have seen the horrors all around me, since childhood. :D
@@Shridharlifeschooling
Bro Zodiac is not a Sudo Bogus, As you don't have expertise in the same, I can say the same to your concept so called Modern science phychology. Hence please confirm your knowledge bro. 👎😠👎
@@Shridharlifeschooling you mean all arrange marriages are horror?? Then all these matrimonial sites should just shut down? And what if ppl are not lucky like you to find a love of their life for any x,y,z reason..they should end their life then..right, because it's for surr that they are gonna spend a miserable life after arrange marriage
@@Shridharlifeschooling sridhar, how about the possibility of being open towards people in general. Even in arranged marriages, you can take ur time.. say a few months get to know someone and then marry.... Or are u implying all love marriages are successful?? Compromise aur adjustment to har relationship me hoti hai na. Par it really matters if someone is crossing the lines with you. I was in an arranged marriage setup 3 years back. We didn't match any kundali. We met, we spent considerable time over months and i liked him too. I believe he liked me too. But it didn't work out due to people and opinions. And then it's 3 years now, and we still have affection for each other. Atleast i do. We remember each other. I did mat h our horoscope and it is kinda eeriely apt to everything mentioned there. I'll believe it's a coincidence. But How would you explain that? 3 years and we still want to have each other in our lives as much as we did then. I do. I'll talk for myself first. Can't an arranged setting turn into a beautiful love? And don't u think a lot of red flags people try to work on in relationships, no matter how much time spent, marriage can be an entirely different thing which is why a lot of love marriages don't work. It's a gamble with both arranged and love. And the second part, i agree with. Which is what I look for when choosing a partner. Which is what a lot of people don't think twice over. The person should be capable, his own story of self journey, his hardwork is what would be impressive. Not a guy with silver spoon in his mouth from birth.. not to me. But society doesn't work that way. A lot of women and men even willingly choose partners over superficial things like that. While i appreciate what you mentioned, perhaps there are very many ideas towards finding a partner that one can be open to, talk, get to know, and then choose accordingly or not go forward with it depending upon the reasons that led to it.
@@Shridharlifeschooling seen horrors all around me since childhood. Maybe that's your experience speaking which is why this insecurity has bud inside you. Noone can force you to go against your will, although they try. But u can definitely take ur time to get to know a person right. What's the real difference between meeting a girl yourself at a class or workplace, and a family arranging you to meet a girl. In both cases, if u don't like it you can say it.. if u do like it, u take it forward.. right? Like a blind date .. if it works out u take it forward, if it doesn't work out you swipe left and talk to someone else. Why so much hauwwa around it??
Had you been an erudite and learned professional on astrology I would have respected your opinion however instead of rejecting you could have said no one is knowledgeable enough to predict future and hence these things may not work
Bro you don't even know if other planets like Earth exist where aliens stay and you are on about nonsense like astrology
Compromise like what?
People please please please take every word of this video seriously! I wish I had come across something like this before my marriage. I blindly trusted some local pandit and married a guy with 50% of my heart just out of fear that I might not get a better match because so called pandit ji said so. And now I am getting divorced in a year. Hands down you should always always and always look for what kind of human being you are marrying. His and your values should match and expectations should match. Do not adjust on things that you wouldn’t want your kids to have. It’s ok to be single until you find one but please don’t get married to wrong person and take that burden of suffering for life.
The fact of the boy being spoilt or having dull genes can be judged easily with 1 or 2 meets
Okay bro, you are thinking the process in a very idealistic way,
If we go by your logic, then you will never be able to get married,
Because WHATEVER WOMEN LIKE MEN DON'T LIKE THE SAME AND VICE VERSA
Men like cricket matchs, football matches, politics, science and technology, logics and hate spending time on shopping, watching Disney movies, logicless emotional drama, make up
it's completely biological
So it's more of accepting the way he/she is and little bit of compromising
Completely disagree 👎😠👎 to this video.
I have got a nice husbnd...bt my m.i.l is clever lady .. irritates me ...mine was arranged marriage..
That's why I am so afraid of arranged marriage. 😞
@EkataSamanta_aproudIndian but this van happen in love marriage too na
Brahmins mostly marry the Brahmins only or honor killing will take place they are most dominant ones in Hinduism.
My caste is high caste and considered as Sat Shudra in British Raj era actually the Brahmins call us Sat Shudras though we do Vaishya related duties and occupations mostly and of Big landlord family.
We just didn't engage in the Upanayana ritual because of the Brahmins actually😡😡😡 in south India
Cancer here
8:22 how to find out all theses before marriage 😂😂😂😂
Very nice 👍😊......but n indian family....what parents are saying is absolutely stupid like they're giving more importance to caste, eating habits, horoscope ...... whatever we say they don't listen.....n arranged marriage we can't convince.......
I strongly believe in Sun sign matched....I am also a Cancer (Gemini-cancer cusp actually) and I get attracted mostly to Scorpio women and vice versa. I have seen friends circles, they are generally compatible people (like fire and air go together well and so is water and earth sign).....Sachin, Dhoni and Kohli all married scorpio women while all 3 have compatible signs.....The reason why u got fights are may be because of Scorpio people are a bit jealous and control freaks...you can check if I m wrong......but at the end of the day both trusted each other and hence made it possible....
Anushka aint Scorpio,virat is Scorpio
@@gmailaccount1972 but its the same water earth combination....that was my point.
That's all bs. Focus on personality compatibility
I made a huge mistake Shridhar.
what mistake ?
Well, this is also red flag when a person think what he thinks about something is only correct and discard others, just like you say about astrology, first u are not an astrologer , do you know how to make predictions based on astrology? if not then you are not qualified to say anything against it, you can not put such strong opinion for anything, cz what we know is just a drop and what we donot know is ocean, and also if family is not good the couple ll struggle always and a harmonous relationship ll nt be possible, u can not ignore your family and being a good guy ll also not help, and u ll be stressed out if things are bad in family level, its going to affect you anyway, if the guy or girl is good but family not good, then also one should think twice before getting married
Don't get married, bro..
Hahahaha 😂🤣🤣 all the problems get automatically solved 🤪
💚💛❤️❣️