More Insane Conspiracy Theories From 2023
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- čas přidán 23. 02. 2024
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No.
Why is the bold guy only applying the SPF20 to his face? I mean - tell me, baldies: what about your precious heads??
Would you guys please do a decoding the unknown for Dulce, Archuleta Mesa?
We went 40 days in Iraq in chemical suits with no shower
Did you know you’re bald? It’s important I share this with you. Nobody told me until 65.
“You idiot. In my opinion. Allegedly.”
- Quotable quotes by Simon, 2024
I love that changing MTGs voice didn't make her sound any more ludicrous
It did make it more bearable to listen to her.
@@donaldwert7137 omg I was just going to say she actually sounded better.
Indeed...slightly more palatable but no less ludicrous. She's on her own delulu island mainlining any conspiracy theory that floats by.
she is so far off the planet in cuckoo land she is well into outer space.
To the editor: thank you for making MTG's voice less annoying. Normally, it's like fingernails on a chalkboard or (those who know, know) sheet metal being cut by a reciprocating saw. This, by contrast, was on par with being cussed at by an angry chipmunk.
My uncle is also one of those religious people who don't like that, my reply was, "I'm not using it in vain, it was a short prayer to him, begging for strength or calling his attention to something"
Great comeback 😂
God damn the Devil to hell. Oh wait. What?
I love it when religious people tell me what I should do, say, or think. I'm like nah bruh. Your priests are committing awful sins.
I'm just surprised people will be so disrespectful towards Christian beliefs, but then throw a whiny little hissy bitch fit when someone doesn't respect your decision to sleep with someone of the same sex.
^^^
That’s a good response. (I’m assuming you were actually being genuine and this isn’t a joke) I would defend him a little by applying the “intention vs perception” concept. Christians should often abstain from things that have a context in the world. An extreme example might be a Christian abstaining from wearing a leather spandex morph suit in public due to it’s sexual connotation. There’s is nothing inherently wrong or sinful with wearing this… but it is made so by the society’s conception of it. So though you are not using it in vain, making it more recognizably a prayer and not a swear might be advantageous
My reply would be, I’m not required to follow any part of your religion because it isn’t my religion. He isn’t my lord so I’m not taking his name in vain.
I always love seeing how much you all enjoy the conspiracy episodes.
And since I could never beat Kyle at science, I will gladly challenge him to any Magic format of his choosing.
But have you done an episode on the conspiracy theory about conspiracy theories?
@@georgemccune2923 Probably need to be more specific than that...
Forget science or Magic. I want you and Danny to challenge each other to see who can get Simon to read a longer intro!
@@ku8721 I don't think I contend with Danny's intro game
Sorry bud. Book title: Conspiranoia!: The Mother of All Conspiracy Theories. Author: Devon Jackson. In short It links JFK to pan am 103 and like 20 major conspiracy theories together into, well, the title of the book says it best. @@ThatWriterKevin
Fun fact: the floods at Burning Man last year caused millions of triops (a/k/a dinosaur shrimp) to awaken. Imagine, hordes of tiny three-eyed crustaceans wriggling around all the festivities. Fun!
=O OMG i DIDNT know that. THATS SO COOL. and HILARIOUS to me that it mightve freaked out the burning men/women xD
@@joshuawargo6446 oh, it did. It did! 😂🤣
My batshit self would have been trying to catch them and keep them as pets 😂. LOOK AT MY 3 EYED BEASTS OF THE JURASSIC!
WOW, how big are they? Because that would have been super cool to catch some and keep them alive.
Are those dinosaur shrimps edible? Would've eased the food situation.
for the etsy thing: you can be charged to re list items on some websites, so some shops instead of taking down a listing while they are waiting for new stock to come in, they just make the price incredibly high so no one buys it while they don’t have stock. people aren’t trafficking children on a furniture website, and if they are they’re not gonna be so bold as to use the kids names. same for etsy.
Okay but there are some questionable things on there. & some of the phases that are used to traffic children.
Remembering the South Park episode where they were trapped for 4 hours and resorted to cannibalism.
4 hours? Why wait so long
So neat to hear Kyle mentioned! Been watching him for a good few years now and love his stuff.
same!! as soon as he started reading the "intro" description for Kyle I was like are you gonna say Kyle hill
@@briannam3140 me too!
"...isn't that where people sell knitting"? is my knew favourite Simon-ism 😂
Kyle Hill reference! I did not expect that crossover of my CZcams worlds but YES love him
Dollar Store Thor out there fighting the good fight against bad science!
Gotta love factory-second Jason momoa
I love him!
I feel like people forget how analog tech works, especially physical analog tech like a ww2 cameras. Some of the nuclear bomb video was taken by spring loaded film cameras closer than was safe, and those videos have x-ray burn-in on them for the portion that was outside the shielded cannisters.
Speaking as a trained Radiation Safety Officer: people who don’t understand what the dispersed radio-nuclides did to the readings in the atmosphere don’t understand why pre-WWII steel is so valuable for radiation sensitive/detectors today. Hah!
Also, changes in radiometric analysis since the start of the atomic age have become standard forensic tools in detecting forgeries in art, ancient artifacts, wines, etc.
That's really interesting. This is a nuanced impact of th3 nuclear age someone like myself in the general public wouldn't appreciate.
And why people are stealing the steel of WWII shipwrecks.
@@sonicgoo1121People are stealing the metal out of everything because it’s valuable and can be sold to scrap yards melted down and reused. You sound like a conspiracy theorists. Just joking but now do you see how dumb and easy it is to label somebody that?
@anthonyford35 “worked.” I’m technically retired. Name didn’t ring a bell, but I’m reading some rando stuff on him now.
My grandpa was present at the fourth ever atomic bomb blast, at the Bikini Atoll in 1946. He told me about helping the scientists set up cameras before the blast, and he told me what it was like to be there when the bomb dropped (he turned 18 in 1945, and he was drafted into the US Navy several weeks before Japan surrendered. Apparently, they were told that turning away from the blast and covering their faces with their hands would protect them from fallout). My grandpa was a really nice guy, and I really don’t think he would have made all that up to his grandson just to f*ck with my head.
But it's not a zero percent chance.
Those tests had negligible fallout from my understanding anyway but I might be thinking of different tests idk
@@wolfiemusecorrect, however, they were exposed to extremely high levels of GAMA radiation (they could see their bones clearly through their hands when shielding their faces). So while the fallout may not have been very high, they were exposed to 1000 lifetimes worth of x-rays within a mere second.
@@DedMan516 a couple of things.
1) it’s gamma radiation, not GAMA, and doesn’t need to be capitalized. There is three types of radiation that penetrate deeper in ascending order: alpha, beta, and gamma radiation. Gamma is the most dangerous of the three and has so much energy it rips electrons from your atoms and disturbs cellular processes at a fundamental level in high amounts.
2. X-rays are not gamma radiation. While they are similar, they come from different processes inside the atom. X-rays are from a process outside the nucleus and have less energy.
3. Typically, medical x-rays dose you with about .1 milliSieverts, and the max dose a human is recommended to safely receive (through background, medical, all kinds of radiation) is 100 mSv, so you could theoretically have 10,000 X-rays and be fine.
4. I have a lot more I could say about this, but the long and short of it is that people who were in the military during these tests, helped decontaminate target vessels that survived testing, etc etc; their cancer rates were certainly increased. So much so that, depending on where you were stationed/what you were doing, the US government provides 75k to people who were at the highest risk there. So it’s not like it was nothing. But the real harm comes from the actual testing itself. Bikini Atoll is still unsafe for human population, and the US government forced native populations to leave their homeland so we could bomb the fuck out of it. Even where the islanders were moved to was not safe, because wind blew contaminated particles across the ocean to the island they had been moved to. It’s a shitty situation all around, but TLDR I think the people watching the bombs explode in the military have the least to worry about
@@wolfiemuse thanks for the info and clarification
Timestamps
0:00 Intro
1:37 Burning Man
2:34 - 3:57 Sponsor
3:57 Burning Man Continue
12:14 Nuclear Weapons Aren't Real
20:45 Etsy Is The New Wayfair
26:47 Outro
That ignition guy is gonna be pissssed
I can't figure out how one dude got all the best editors on CZcams. Julian and Sam are amazing.
The host of Casual Criminalist says, "People aren't monsters"
the host of In the Shadows wants a word with him
About the nukes and cameras.... the tests were filmed with 16mm FILM cameras such as the Norelco FILMO-16. These cameras were entirely mechanical with no electronics
You'd be surprised how many younger people think the technology we have today was available back in the 1950s-1960s. 🙄
@@ronaldlebeck9577 we are often surprised that young people thing we are as ignorant if reality as they (and evangelicals) are
I like the "The cameras were 5 miles away " and then showing the interior of a house shot. Don't come here for facts, folks. There are about 20 ways to construct a way to film an atomic test from within the blast area. And of course the cameras were entirely mechanical as others have mentioned.
And even if they weren't, nukes only produce significant EMPs when exploded in the upper atmosphere, for an explosion like the one that leveled Hiroshima you would need to be within the blast radius to experience a significant EMP and then it would be the least of your worries.
Simon: You keep watching them so we keep making them.
Me: I keep watching them BECAUSE you keep making them.
I know it's a business, but when I check my alerts and it's multiple conspiracy shitposts I'm like "damn".
Whatever you do just don't ever quit youtube or I'm gonna find you.
Thanks Simon and gang! You guys are like 50% of my screen time and you do amazing work.
💯 agree
Sounds like an extremely toxic relationship!
Science Thor for the win!!!
50%??? For me it 75% or more 😅😅😅😅 I see any one of his channels has updated and I am here for fact Boi to get that sweet watch time. 😂😂😂
@@StreetPreacherr Alcohol is toxic and hasn't stopped people from drinking it.
I’ve always wondered what the Wayfair/Etsy conspiracy theorists think actually happens if someone ordered a trafficking victim through a massive website. I just imagine some rich dude who’s really bad with money opening up his new armoire and there’s a child inside. I’d love to study these people, I’m desperate to understand their batshit logic.
Please dont, because if it suddenly began making sense, it would probably just mean that you are slipping from reality as well, better to study and laugh and not understanding thqn suddenly find one self understanding the crazy cray cray 😂
It's bullshit but it's not as bullshit as it sounds. Not trafficking, but there's been reports of illegal pornography being sold and shared via Twitter and even Tumblr as recently as just a few years bak.
Per FBI data the most trafficked thing in the world is not drugs, or cars, it is in fact humans. So I don’t know about the Etsy shxt but I do know humans are being sold by the thousands as we speak and where do you think these sales are taking place at? I’m desperate to understand why you are more concerned with their logic than you are of the safety of the children being trafficked and how to stop it. That is unless you support human trafficking.
The most trafficked thing in the world is no doubt the semiconductor.
@@Byronic19134dear lord tell us your a magat without telling us you're a magatm
Shocked you've not resorted to yelling groomer yet.
I've come to learn that saying "Jesus Christ" isn't actually saying the lord's name in vain but using it as in "I'm doing this in the name of God" (ie wars, televangelism, etc.) is what 'Using the Lord's name in vain' actually refers to.
"When I say it, I get RESULTS!" -Master Shake
@@battlesheep2552you the one telling me to beware? 'cause I'll tell you where to be
Hellyeah!
Apparently the Hebrews wouldn't use the true name of God and that's where the admonition comes from but your explanation seems more applicable considering grifters have been around since the beginning of Christianity.
people using a concept wrong? Surely not...
If I had a penny for every time I've heard someone use "begging the question" wrong, I'd be richer than Elon Musk.
I've also heard that a vendor on a third party website might offer a product but when they run out of the item they list it for a crazy price rather than taking it off their inventory which might hurt their store rating. So a pillow that's listed as 5,000.00 USD might just be a deterrent from ordering vs. the impression of stock reduction
Sounds illegal and false advertisement because what happens if somebody orders that pillow and they are out of stock when the site said they are in stock? Now you are paying $500 for a pillow that they don’t even have? Usually sites say out of stock or will be back in stock at this date, etc.
There is also a bizarre trend where people will pay astronomical prices for a seemingly ordinary item just because of the price, and then talk about how much they paid for it. Guess it’s all over TikTok.
Okay but what if someone does order it what do they do?
Elon Musk at Burning Man 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I almost choked on my coffee.
You do realize elon musk has been to burning man multiple times in the past. It's legit for rich idiots
I shit you not, he used to be a regular attendee - look it up lol
@@itmaybeokay I believe you, It's just hard to picture now.
It's unreal how out of touch he is
The no nukes theory reminds me of a Sci Fy novel by Timothy Zhan. Humans and aliens were fighting, a freak solar event destroyed an enemy fleet. The humans told them to surrender because of our new super weapon.
Nuclear weapons not existing, is actually so unhinged.
In fairness, they're no worse from the nutters who think Australia doesn't exist.
It sounds like something someone came up with to calm their anxiety about nuclear war tbh, can’t be scared of
them if you simply decide they aren’t real lol
I saw someone very seriously explaining it, by the fact that they firebombed Hiroshima and Nagaski, just like they did with Tokyo. And normal bombs already give off a little bit of radiation, that's why there was radiation but at the same time not that much. The explosions were filmed in a movie-studio to strike fear into the hearts of people.
I've seen Philomena Cunk
@@Flashback007it's all a mind vortex for the chronically paranoid. Once they believe on conspiracy, the rest just pile up like snow.
Its confirmation bias run amok.
"Nuclear Weapons aren't real"
Tsutomi Yamaguchi (survived both nukes): Great, so those two giant blasts and flashes of light, were what? The cameraman's flash?
Kevin delivers the topics we need to know more about
It's not like Kevin has anything better to do while he's locked in the blazement.
In the south eastern USA a washing machine, dryer, and sofa etc… in the yard are called yard art.
Fine art.
YES! More Venture Bros memes! Whoever is doing the editing I love you 😍
1:30 -- I love that you said Joe Rogan. He's exactly where my brain went. Although, I suppose Alex Jones is also up there.
I'm surprised that the cray cray crew hasn't gone off on Graco (baby furniture company) since a lot of their things such as cribs have people names 😂
Because of a job I have, I have supplied many burning man "artists" with their propane fire art/whatever parts and controls for a number of years. About 3-6 months before orders come in. Usually a couple rush orders at the last minute. I've never been there, but they're talking about me! 😄 Maybe I should start stocking tire chains?
Just gotta say, love the new breakaway memes, keep up the good work! 👍
i love going against the flat Earthers as i counter their stupidity with the joke "If the Earth was flat then cats would've knocked everything off by now"
Of everything Simon has said so far, my biggest concern at this point, is what is Simon's definition of "Big SUV with big knobbly tires", because I'm picturing a Volvo with winter tires... 😂
VW TIGUAN on 44s
How do you get a Volvo as a suv lol 😂
Ah the skyrim clip. Your editors are absolutely top notch 👍
I'm the same way when it comes to showering before bed, I go so far as not even sitting on my bed with the clothes I've been wearing that day. Bed has to be clean!
Burning Man 2023 was one I missed, and the continuing party that ensued with the rains were amazing (my friends had nothing but great things to say about it). Only got FOMO when I found out how everyone came together and made the best of it. (And all the little Festies and influencers that thought they could leave got their cars ruined).
Also: there are showers, people bring them. Camps have them. AND: anytime something “goes wrong” there, the media loves to make absolutely wildly stupid assumptions about what happens there. It’s always amusing.
How much does it cost to go jw
ex navy submariner here , unless I had a continuous fever dream for a decade, I'm pretty sure I've literally touched and loaded many nuclear warheads. Touched enough to wipe out humanity 6x over, hell my bunk was between two missiles.
That takes Hotbunking to a whole new level
The cut with the Google search was brilliant
While I definitely watch all of Simon's channels (except the one all about Simon's Cat...) I really watch just for this amazing editor's shenanigans. Absolutely a genius!!! I wish you all the very best!
Wait, Simons Cat is by Simon Whistler?
@@GredelsRageNo, zero percent chance lol
@@wolfiemuse i didn't think so, but stranger things have happened
Is there one 50% about the cat? I'd watch that much
The editing in this one: F*cking LEGENDARY.
🤘🏽😆
Yay Kyle! During the original tests the company supplying the cameras E.G. & G. developed a film 'splitter' that gave a million + frame rate a second. It actually caught the first microseconds of atomic blasts.
To really put in prospective about the nukes, the largest human made explosion before the atmoic bombs was the Halifax explosion, which has said had the energy of about 2.9 kilotons of TNT, you would need 5 Halifax Explosions to match the one dropped on Horishima, and just over 8 to match the one dropped on Nagasaki. The the one in Halifax was only possible, because it was a ship carrying 2600 tons of explosives
Labor day/burning man is in early September which is why is no one comes to my birthday parties anymore... 🙃 I truly hate burning man. It's a big waste.
Don't think there's a requirement for any "Allegedly" regarding anything to do with the insanity relating to MTG.
Real
To be honest, Simon, you can probably fix that section of your lawn yourself. Just needs organic material, peat moss will probably do it. I mean tilling organics in will give you better results, but if it was fine before just tossing a couple cm of peat moss and some grass seed on it should be fine.
Rgat's the stupidest landscaping tip I've ever heard.
Loving the small images on screen every now and then, the "dirty bomb" moved this video to the next level
Today is a good day to Blaze!
There is no day that isn't good to Blaze. Especially with Simon and the blazement.
Be safe. Be neighborly. 🇨🇦
The last one had me for a hot second until I found out Q-Anon started the rumor. You find out there's a cabinet, coincidentally named the same as a missing girl, that looks bog standard, BUT COSTS THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS, and while probably coincidence and gouging, it's easy to be like 'What's going on!?'
10:10 the best part is how while the mud sucked, the music and bars and midnight poutine all kept going.
To add extra clarity to the bomb explanation; when they measure a bombs destructive power in tonnes, they are referring to equivalent tonnes of TNT. The biggest conventional (non-nuclear) bomb during WW2 was Grand Slam/The Bomb, which was an earthquake bomb dropped by the RAF with a payload of 10,000 KG. Little Boy was 11,000 Tonnes and Fat Man was 19 Tonnes. Combines, that is 3,000 Grand Slams.
Thanks for the Blaze I now realise that Skeletor sounds like a duck.
again i relate to simon. power to the NERRRRDDDSSSS!!!✊🏼✊🏼✊🏼
@kylehill getting a shout-out here is pure joy, two of my favorite CZcams creators 🎉
26:16 ah "Succulent Chinese Meal" meme lives on
Simon: "Etsy is the new Wayfair"
CZcams: Here's a Wayfair ad
The conversion search was brilliant, well done.
Julian, you nailed the comedic timing on this one! Great editing!
Off topic but I recently had a customer whose name was Belland and all I could think about was Simon.
Simon about his verification check mark " I'm not bitter and jealous" I'm petty and cheap, allegedly.
A lot of folks leave Burning Man & stop at random small town local restaurants on the way back to LA/SoCal without showering first. Nightmare few days for those places & any other innocent patrons with a functioning sense of smell. Don't miss dealing with that at all, but some of the goofy floats (like a perfect recreation of the Flintstone car from the movie) that they brink back with them were kind of cool.
The "nukes aren't real" thing reminds me of when Games Workshop added some lore to one of their races who didn't believe that another race had gigantic stompy death tanks.....only to then get attacked by gigantic stompy death tanks.....
"Neighbor Things with S.U.V Boi" 😆🤣
Suv boi 😂 really sam😂
"They release EMPs so how can we film them with old film cameras?" Er... because the old cameras don't use electronics?
really enjoying this series. the writing, the read, the visual comments: *chef's kiss*.
Editing is so on point! Well done!
the good thing about so many people not bathing simultaneously.... everyone simultaneously goes no blind to BO
What did he think happened with Hiroshima and Nagasaki? Because plan B was bats with napalm blame a dentist, FDR and the marines.
During the creation of the first atomic weapons scientists obviously knew about radiation but had no real data to know its impacts and effects. The reason for the decision to detonate the weapon at height was to maximise the power of the blast by leveraging the added power of shockwaves being deflected from the ground and then combining with the other shockwaves enhancing their amplitude - They didn’t give a stuff about the fallout OR had any idea what to expect.
All of the data on radioactive fallout out came from observations of medical doctors helping the victims of Hiroshima and all the experimentation and nuclear testing following the War
As for Chernobyl - the reason it was so radioactive had less to do with the yield of the rods and more to do with the HIGHLY radioactive graphite moderator that completely surrounded the reactor core continually exposed from streams of neutrons during its operation. The graphite was pulverised and released high into the air during the reactor’s catastrophic explosion releasing high pressure steam and fine particles of graphite dust high into the stratosphere (the radioactivity included the worst kind too - gamma radiation)
I love the conspiracy shows. I need a good laugh at the end of the day.
Lol at Simon confusing Burning Man with Bohemian Grove (that said, there is 100% a celebrity only section for the elites lol)
YOU can go 3 weeks without food, but in a survival situation, I'm turning to cannibalism day 1 using human flesh to supplement my rations
Simon Whistler - Absolutely! ... In my opinion. Allegedly.
Simon should do an episode or two of CC of all the murders related to qanon believers. The latest one was absolutely insane.
I haven’t heard about this, but it sounds interesting (and sad.)
I always love how conspiracy theories tend to rely on the basis that gov't officials are some how both incompetent and capable of keeping massive secrets while being able to do things like control the weather.
Of course they're incompetent. That person found everything out
Joking btw
Love the OG Skyrim cutscene. :)
Ayoooo google saying The G spot is wild 😂😂🤣🤣
I love the Steven He (brief) cameo at around 15:08 😂
I got emotional damage from it.
Still need that tangent timer
Keep the Red Pill background for every Brain Blaze pleeze.
13:42 Sadly, a lot of people thought the “birds aren’t real” thing was a serious theory. It didn’t help that a lot of people repeated the joke incorrectly and out of context.
I'm American and my favorite retort the someone who says I shouldn't take the lords name in vain is to say "I don't think Vishnu would mind." Shuts the Christians right down.
The so called Salted nukes are 'Enhanced nuclear devices.' The most widely known device is the Neutrona bomb.
Modern nukes are 'Dialable.' This is for adjusting the yield or radiation .
I believe about 20% of the conspiracy theories you post in these videos but I love hearing you roast them anyway so I keep coming back for more 😂
Would you resort to cannibalism after a few hours, or just tell the security to get out of the way, as you're looking for a pizza shop?!
I like how the argument with nuclear bombs were comparing a Hydrogen bomb vs Uranium rods... just because it makes a big boom doesn't mean it's becquerels were high
The infamous Indiana pi bill of 1897, proclaiming the value of pi to be 3.2 now seems less insane.
Thank you for letting me know about the Kyle Hill video, I must have missed that one
26:18 you missed the best bit in a succulent Chinese meal.
The absolute brain rot required to believe these conspiracies is astounding 😂
Praise the Blaze Brothers!
The editing on this video is top notch!
Editing/memes on this one were next level😂 new guy or pay rise?
Keep up the great work 👌🏽
simon is freaking everywhere. that's the actual CZcams conspiracy of the decade.
One of the biggest thing to keep in mind about Conspiricy Believers:
They find it difficult to grasp any time but the Present.
It is an interesting phenomenon, but a dangerous one.
For people suffering from it can't recall what happened 4 years ago....
Nor do they trust what they read online as being accurate....
So... did it really happen?
Lmfao I make that Lucy, The Daughter of the Devil reference all the time and nobody ever gets it 😭 ........ BECKYS IN THEEEE BACKSEAT BECKYS IN THEEEE BACKSEAT, BUH BUH BACKSEAT, BACKSEAT
Festivals are a sanitary nightmare!
😹😹😹
The difference is when we dropped the bombs on Japan it was just that a controlled bomb. Chernobyl just like Fukushima was a uncontrolled, unplanned accident.
Also the festival where rich people go to is Coachella not Burning Man.