How did I end up here? Questions about Toxic Relationships (Part Two)
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- čas přidán 12. 12. 2021
- Many who have been in toxic, difficult, unhealthy relationships with narcissistic people end up asking questions like, 'Why didn't I see the red flags?' and, 'Why did I stay as long as I did?'' In the second part of this series Darren Magee talks about more reasons people find themselves in relationships where they are treated badly, and why they can sometimes feel trapped and find it difficult to leave.
How on Earth did I end up here? 1 • Why did I end up here?...
Why did you stay? 3 • Why Do Some People Sta...
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What about Munchausens disorder? Is this similar to the description in this video? My ex-husband had similar destructive cyclic behaviors and I always thought it to be Munchausens.
Dr magee could you possibly do a video on how to keep or restore your mind after years of psychological and physical targeting by groups of individuals and the damage psychological that happens to people who are subjected to such, please thanks.
There could be Munchausens in these cases. I was asked recently to talk about that so will be putting something together soon
I will be adding to the series on recovery so will add that to the list. Thank you for your suggestion
Hi Darren, please can you talk about the narcissistic partner wearing your clothes. I and my husband aren't intimate anymore but we still live together. He recently started wearing my trousers. Please what does this mean? Thank you
I stayed with my narc husband because my mother kept telling me that any father was better than no father for my children. Boy was she wrong!
My old school grandmother would say that as long as he's paying the bills and you have a roof over your head.
Mine said I wasn’t that easy to live with either…. She herself was a narc…
Same here my mother made me afraid to leave him 36 of married to a Narcissistic husband I have one daughter I waiting to leave until she older so he can’t get custody should be 17 18 years old judge can’t force her to live with him even part of the time
Our family can really miss lead us for sure!!! Healthy kids are better than traumatize kids and sometimes his kids turn out just like that parent or they want something from the parent that will never get and end up further abusing their selves by wanting something that that parent could never give because through their own traumas they are sick.
Lifestyle grind their friends and etc it's all them now
On reciprocation, I remember a street person who sat quietly with a sign asking for money. When I placed money in the bucket, he held my gaze and gave me the most heartfelt thank you I have ever received in my life and it’s a gift I still hold dear. No manipulation, even when in great need - a truly humble and great person.
What a beautiful gesture 💓
Succinctly outlined and clarified. As you say, it happens so gradually. Actually quite sinister and when you look back you can 'see' the behaviour come out of the shadows...and then it disappears again so you're never quite sure what you've 'seen'....until...you've crossed them and then out it comes again in full fury. We do berate and blame ourselves but as you say, these people are very skilled at hiding who they really are. Thank you for your insights 👌
Why didn't I find you sooner? I wish I had known what he was doing to me in the moment, I would've left in a heartbeat, without him trying to pull at my strings. Your videos are so empowering.
A sense of obligation is what made me stay, hell even enter a relationship he coerced me in, because I told him I didn't want to! 🤦♀️
Narc :
Vacuum your dreams( because I just reduced them to dust)
Victim : I thought you understood me
NARC : I know you are nothing
Victim : I was always there for you
NARC : I never saw that. You are delusional
Victim : I feel confused
Narc : that's because you can't think.
🤎🙏
" until, of course, you are." Darren, you're good with the gentle zingers. You're waking us up with a gentle shake and kind words. The teaching us to love❤ ourselves again. Yes, we each deserve love as much as the next person. Thank you ao much!🙂
I have followed so many channels to talk about narcissist, this channel is the best among the whole CZcams. May I ask do you do group counseling or live session with your followers"
It’s not something I’d thought of to be honest
Honestly I think that some of those content creators are narcissists themselves.
If I try ..then try again. ..to listen for a couple of minutes and earn almost allergic reaction....the conclusion is:
Not for me
P.S.
Agree with you that these videos (Darren Magee) are useful
Agreed!!! He knows what he is talking about!! Some talk about narcissistic people talking too much and I’m thinking why I talk too much but how can be a sign of ADHD or maybe Graves’ disease cause a person so wrapped up or an anxiety disorder like a lot of these people are just throwing terms out there and it’s just in labels without being very careful of the gray areas but this gentleman is very careful to say now you know people might need help but this is going to look different so he’s great to an admit and show that it’s very insidious and how it’s easy to not see it or to get confused and thinks somebody has it when they don’t!!!
@@DarrenFMagee
It's probably a great idea.
Bingo! This perfectly describes the dynamic that went on in my family. I’m an only child, my mother fits this description to perfection and as their child, I was taught to be just like her. Spot on and very informative, thank you!
Thank you! Keep them coming!
From experience, it's difficult for one to decipher how they ended up here, however furthermore, that being said, it becomes even more difficult to explain to others when reaching out for help. Most people either don't look beyond the veil and/or haven't begun their own inner work...therefore they simply just can't relate.
For me this has led to a spiraling scenario where (with no outer validation, which leads to no outer help to get away) I end up staying longer, and the cycle has just continued to spiral downward due to isolation from the shame of where I find myself and of also of being poorly judged by outsiders who simply have NO clue. (Malignant narc father and two narc brothers.) The random couple times an outsider (pretended) to be a friend they actually turned out to be exploitive (and likely altruistically narcissistic to some degree), only causing me to have to juggle more narcissism. 'Jumped from one hot frying pan into another.
This abuse is often complex, yet insidious, and if the victim doesn't see it it's very unlikely an outsider will grasp it due to both the shiny veneer and smear campaign the N has put in place.
Truths!!
Very good way to explain this…You described this very well.
Thank you.
Eye opening content. Thank you 🙏
Depressingly I know I had no choice to be in a relationship with a narcissistic mother and an emeshing father since My existence can't be without them
It’s very insidious..they are like a chameleon, they can change their behavior quickly to suit their wants or..mine thinks if he starts acting very nice again it abolishes all of his bad behavior, as you mentioned in one of the previous videos. I’ve also realized that at times mine wants to repeat his mother- son dysfunctions and try to talk down to me like he’s the parent so I’ll say “Don’t talk to me like that, I’m your wife not your child, I’m an adult with human rights”. But, even after you think you’ve ironed out the problems, they repeat it or you know you can’t go on living with someone who’s treated you so poorly, even if they start being nicer..
Yip I realised I couldn't do right for wrong... It was totally mentally n psychologically exhausting... WHY.. WHY ! couldn't I make them feel better... WOT was I gona do to make them feel better when all the time I.. ME was dying inside coz knew I could NOT save them from THEMSELVES.... it WASN'T you ...it WOZ them.... So get the script guys... They are NOT happy, NEVER
have been happy n NEVER will be happy... with or without you.. n thats the TRUTH ❤❤❤ Bye the way I stayed so long partially financial but also fear of physical violence and 2 yrs on from split STILL weary 💞💞💞
Truths!!!
There is a man I care about whom I believe is under the influence of a narcissist and this happened on a trip we were on. Another narcissistic type at least exaggerated (maybe totally faked) an ailment and the man eventually figured out she was lying. This gives me hope re: the second narcissist whom, I think, is a little more savvy than the malingerer and probably goes back and forth between this and the "technique" discussed in the first video. I hope and pray it's sooner rather than later!
Thank you!
❤️
this describes my mother.
I know how I ended up here.
I want to know how to exorcise it from my subconscious.
Wow, your comment gave me a good chuckle. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but you are nothing if not direct. Actually, I can relate, as you can see
How do you not feel obligated when you gave birth to them and you see their frustrations even when they turn it at you. Came with my own issues. Recovery from a massive stroke at 42 from a chiropractic carotid dissection diagnosis by a neurologist.
I commented on another video how one can also end up with a landlord like this whose without a conscience and believes it's okay to collect over five thousand dollars in rent and finds no inconvenience when quickly cashing it at the bank. One whose intentionally commits substantial violations (uninhabitable living conditions i.e, .. without heat or hot water to bathe) for the entire 4.5 months you've lived there and one who is so extremely toxic and delusional, that not only are they married and propositioning you for outings, but constantly disrupting your peace and quiet enjoyment while at the same time intentionally violating your (served in writing) boundaries, You'll be met with amped up harassment and outrageous accusations with absolutely zero proof what so ever. The miserable, lazy and greedy pathological lying gaslighters will just continue to argue (want to be right and try to convince others) that they've already addressed the issues when in fact and with proof, no they haven't. In their arrogance and with their false sense of superiority they actually believe themselves to be above any rules or the law.
Yes anyone can do this when they have power over or they gradually gain it in a relationship!!!! 😢
I stayed cos my self esteem was so low I never believed I'd get anyone as beautiful again, even if she didn't love me and was abusive..I didn't deserve better.
☹️ Real beauty is on the inside
@@Portia620 she bamboozled me, reeled me in, she was amazing looking, then chewed me up, drained me and left. I know you're right, thank you. She was ugly inside.
@@Portia620There you go! "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." It's written in our Bibles. Our heart either Embraces love, which is our Good God who IS love, or it embraces evil. There's no such thing as being neutral. We Are Spiritual Beings as well as human beings. Everyone knows there's good and evil in the world.
When you find someone who is beautiful on the inside, believe me, you'll discover that your heart can see also, and the way they look in your eyes is not as important as you thought it was. I think you know that now...
@@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 I pray you're right. Bless you.
Nije mi rečeno da postoje manipulatori, ima mnogo i zena manipulatora, ovdje u bosni se dobija posao preko veze..mnogo nas lažu, tipa daa se neko oženio, udao, i neki ne govore pravilno...