How to be a Friend to Yourself

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  • čas přidán 16. 03. 2017
  • The person we may find it hardest to be kind and sympathetic to is, surprisingly, ourselves. Yet being a friend to ourselves provides the only viable basis for living an emotionally fulfilled life.
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    FURTHER READING
    “Polite people have it instilled in them from an early age that they should not talk too much about themselves. A few comments aside, they should - to prove appealing - always ask the other about their lives or stick to impersonal topics found in newspapers, lest they be accused of that heinous charge: self-absorption…”
    You can read more on this and other subjects here: goo.gl/9hTxYK
    MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE
    Watch more films on SELF in our playlist:
    bit.ly/TSOLself
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    CREDITS
    Produced in collaboration with:
    Ana Mouyis
    www.anamouyis.com/ #TheSchoolOfLife

Komentáře • 1,1K

  • @noodlery7034
    @noodlery7034 Před 4 lety +655

    “It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care about their opinions more than our own.” - Marcus Aurelius

    • @auraandrei146
      @auraandrei146 Před 3 lety +3

      Good quote but I don’t care what other people think about me.

    • @davedurnum6500
      @davedurnum6500 Před 3 lety +14

      @@auraandrei146 then I guess it wasn’t a quote for you.

    • @kathy9124
      @kathy9124 Před 3 lety +9

      I don’t love myself but I am self-centered and yet I still care about what other people think...a paradox.

    • @jacob.vandrplas3415
      @jacob.vandrplas3415 Před 2 lety +2

      This is totally not true for everyone,

  • @chiarabiasotti4415
    @chiarabiasotti4415 Před 7 lety +2794

    I want three lumpy monsters as friends

    • @michaelpesavento8268
      @michaelpesavento8268 Před 7 lety +10

      Hi, That would be so Awesome!:) Thanks.

    • @maddscientist3170
      @maddscientist3170 Před 7 lety +13

      I have 3 lumpy monsters "as friends"...........LOL

    • @avi5
      @avi5 Před 7 lety +3

      Chiara Biasotti came in this section to ask for the same.. Now where are those 3 friends I ordered for myself 😂

    • @petersam5835
      @petersam5835 Před 7 lety

      Chiara Biasotti me too

    • @Geordina
      @Geordina Před 7 lety +18

      I'm a Cookie Monster. Is that lumpy enough? ;)

  • @WAA-uj3ow
    @WAA-uj3ow Před 5 lety +469

    "Everyone fails, we just don't know about it. "

    • @indridcold8433
      @indridcold8433 Před 4 lety +2

      I think I hace known every time I have fallen. When I fall, it is not very subtle in my life. It is a serious failure in my life every time I fall.

  • @eddyruiz9014
    @eddyruiz9014 Před 7 lety +1316

    The School of Life is becoming the best friend I ever had.

    • @khadijasaghir5803
      @khadijasaghir5803 Před 7 lety +11

      yes so true school of life is indeed a good friend

    • @CK77460
      @CK77460 Před 5 lety +10

      Yes agreed, I listen to some of their videos on repeat so that the information sinks in and plus it is comforting.

    • @movingon2081
      @movingon2081 Před 4 lety +6

      The best friend I never had

    • @oftenwrong.
      @oftenwrong. Před 4 lety

      Agreed!!!

    • @marcpetion5714
      @marcpetion5714 Před 4 lety +2

      True

  • @jackiehouse529
    @jackiehouse529 Před 7 lety +1333

    It's so weird hearing his calming voice say things like "shit head"

    • @abbyadda1
      @abbyadda1 Před 5 lety +7

      Jackie House hahaha 👌👌🤣😍

    • @TaunellE
      @TaunellE Před 5 lety +3

      Lmao me too.

    • @mlm7521
      @mlm7521 Před 5 lety +3

      I'm sure Alain relishes the opportunity to do so too.

    • @jessicaj1189
      @jessicaj1189 Před 5 lety +1

      Omg 🤣

    • @none377
      @none377 Před 5 lety +3

      Me too I didn't think they swear in those videos.

  • @smc1942
    @smc1942 Před 6 lety +677

    After going through the worst depression of my life, I remember stopping on a whim, & buying myself a Dairy Queen Blizzard.
    I was amazed how good that tasted after the hell I had been through.
    Give YOURSELF a RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS.
    You'll feel better.
    And you'll enjoy it everytime you think about it. Even year's later.
    Large Georgia Mud Fudge, if you were curious.

    • @ivy23173
      @ivy23173 Před 4 lety +1

      how did you get over it?

    • @freykiva3887
      @freykiva3887 Před 4 lety +4

      When I was feeling sad I buy myself things but still couldn't move on about such events that had happened to me, I hope I could be like you.

    • @marykam6708
      @marykam6708 Před 4 lety +1

      true!

    • @smc1942
      @smc1942 Před 4 lety +26

      Andra 23 ;
      I learned that two things caused most of my problems; Memory & Imagination.
      I was getting upset (be that rage or tears) by the memory of abuse from Toxic family.
      Ditto by thinking of what MIGHT happen if I allowed these people back into my life.
      You must understand, In 2016, after a lifetime of abuse, I cut those Toxic people from my life. I went 100% NO CONTACT.
      Yet the worst depression came a year later. I continued reliving all their toxic behavior. Decade's of it!
      Then I realized it wasn't necessary. I was wasting my freedom from those people by thinking about all the times they had wronged me. I was getting upset at these Memories.
      I started reminding myself, they are only memories now. And I will NEVER allow those toxic people back into my life. So STOP thinking about them! Think about something else. They are NOT worth all the effort. They are TOXIC, & they are NEVER going to change! Stop wasting my freedom from them by thinking about them.
      Likewise, STOP playing WHAT IF, because they will NEVER AGAIN be allowed in my life.
      Don't waste your time or emotions on Memory & Imagination. Live your life. Make NEW memories to replace the old ones.
      No, you will not completely forget the bad. Just don't focus on it. Think of the good times in your life, if you must look back.
      Better to look forward. Move away from the bad, so you aren't around the reminders everyday. Take no reminders with you. Start fresh. Make new memories. Try not to look back. It's a waste of time, energy, & effort. So is playing WHAT IF....
      Memory & Imagination.
      They can be your friend or your enemy. For me, they were the enemy. But no longer. I focus on the good times from my past, & I don't play what if...
      And if I find myself thinking about my Toxic family, I remind myself I cannot truly allow myself to get upset by Memory & Imagination. It's a waste of time.
      I hope this helps.
      Best Wishes.

    • @ClaraSantos-kb2xu
      @ClaraSantos-kb2xu Před 4 lety +3

      Interesting how I was just thinking of getting myself one 5 seconds ago

  • @gamophyte
    @gamophyte Před 7 lety +356

    I would spend hours on end dispensing advice and love and then sit alone realizing I pretty much need to heed everything I said for my own self.

  • @mephistophelesthesilentchi3446

    We are kinder to others because we don't know them.
    Forgiving the flaws of others is easier beacause they are not our own, we don't face their trials, we don't bleed their blood, we don't live with their shame.
    So we can pity them, we can comfort them, we can forgive them because we'll never now them the way we know ourselves.

    • @Couga1337
      @Couga1337 Před 7 lety +59

      mephistopheles the silent chief couldn't you just viceversa that? because you know yourself that way it's easier to be so accepting of yourself because of the qualities you see in yourself

    • @mephistophelesthesilentchi3446
      @mephistophelesthesilentchi3446 Před 7 lety +82

      Couga1337 It's not that easy because someone who knows themselves, also knows of the daunting disparity between his ideal self and his actual self.
      We may believe this realisation is also just as apparent to others through empathy, but we'll never really understand or know it as they do.
      So we are good to them because our ignorance of who they are, frees our ideal perceptions from our rigid realities.

    • @mephistophelesthesilentchi3446
      @mephistophelesthesilentchi3446 Před 7 lety +15

      Couga1337 It's not that easy because someone who knows themselves, also knows of the daunting disparity between his ideal self and his actual self.
      We may believe this realisation is also just as apparent to others through empathy, but we'll never really understand or know it as they do.
      So we are good to them because our ignorance of who they are, frees our ideal perceptions from our rigid realities.

    • @viccorum4640
      @viccorum4640 Před 7 lety +44

      Familarity breeds contempt. I didnt like who i was so i changed; similarly the more i learn about another i dislike more but i cant change them. Instead, i distance myself to keep from hurting others.
      It's a toil with little reward.

    • @sunbro9076
      @sunbro9076 Před 7 lety +10

      And sometimes a weird stranger may show up in your Nexus and tell you about everyone's flaws to gain your trust. Then you know that all your acquaintances and friends are much more than they want you to know.

  • @datawizard130
    @datawizard130 Před 7 lety +549

    Practice kindness, compassion and have a sense of purpose.

    • @michaelpesavento8268
      @michaelpesavento8268 Před 7 lety +5

      Hi, Good thoughts to give our president:/ if he would just listen! Thanks.

    • @michaelpesavento8268
      @michaelpesavento8268 Před 7 lety +8

      Hi CkassCTREV, OMG! You are just BatShit Crazy! Everything you said is an absolute Lie! Trump "Donates" other peoples money and takes the credit,his "Charitable foundation" was shut down by the state of New York for "Gross improprieties" He's been sued more than 3600 times and he's banned by most domestic banks from receiving any kind of loans.
      He's preposed cutting off the "Meals On Wheels"food program for needy seniors and the disabled! Really compassion? That's what you call that!? Stop reading BriteBart and Van Jones they are both racist,reactionary,fiction. It takes Empathy to be compassionate and he has none, and it sound like you don't either! Thanks.

    • @mno7493
      @mno7493 Před 6 lety

      ....to yourself.

    • @lovepeaceisneverguaranteed7385
      @lovepeaceisneverguaranteed7385 Před 5 lety

      That should be everybodies goal and dream in life to be more compassionate and caring or kind.

    • @marilu4691
      @marilu4691 Před 3 lety +1

      easier said than done but I am working on it

  • @alinahMQuantum
    @alinahMQuantum Před 4 lety +169

    Ever since I become best friend to my own self, I discover that I could love others better especially my own family. I become a better person, calmer than my old self. And..people can feel that. They compliment me more and they look sincere delivering those compliments. I think loving myself is simply magic.😊

  • @MedicEne
    @MedicEne Před 7 lety +232

    I'm a great friend to myself, we hang out all day every day for over 25 years and don't hate each other... Yet

    • @pradipmalakar7871
      @pradipmalakar7871 Před 6 lety +5

      MedicEne... Same here buddy. I am my best friend. And it helps me be good friends with others too.

    • @davidamysteaq8140
      @davidamysteaq8140 Před 6 lety +8

      Awesome... how can we love others properly when we haven’t taken the time to get to know and love ourselves. ✌🏽❤️

    • @singing.winnie
      @singing.winnie Před 5 lety +5

      these comments are so beautiful and hopeful. i will try to learn about myself, my flaws, and my beauty. i will try to embrace them ALL. i will be a good friend to myself by accepting my flaws and encouraging myself consistently, like good friends do. :)

    • @ted.angell7609
      @ted.angell7609 Před rokem

      You sleep together too😄

  • @RowantarotBlogspot
    @RowantarotBlogspot Před 4 lety +102

    This video spells out in 4 minutes what it's taken me 2 years of therapy to unravel.

  • @sofiavillalba2404
    @sofiavillalba2404 Před 7 lety +1126

    The content and themes developed in this channel are so interesting, but the art in it is SOOO OUTSTANDING. It's really creative and calming to see. It express the things that are being said pretty well. Beautiful, thank you.
    Lots of love and blessings from Argentina.

    • @mtfgang6012
      @mtfgang6012 Před 7 lety +2

      Faia Halo I agree

    • @maririvo
      @maririvo Před 7 lety +4

      Faia Halo que lindo ver otro argentino por acá! nice channel.

    • @sofiavillalba2404
      @sofiavillalba2404 Před 7 lety +1

      Marina Rivosecchi oh sí, saludos querida Marina ! 💠

    • @damiandellamico7596
      @damiandellamico7596 Před 7 lety

      ¡Hola Faio Halo y Marina Rivosecchi! Otro argentino acá. ¡Saludos cordiales a las dos!

    • @JaimeMatarazzo
      @JaimeMatarazzo Před 7 lety

      Así me dan ganas de armar un grupo Argento!
      Mirá qué loco.. a una hora de distancia

  • @jlele2924
    @jlele2924 Před 5 lety +27

    I can’t even focus on watching this with the tears running down my face.

  • @johnmyers3106
    @johnmyers3106 Před 6 lety +31

    "Love yourself, then you'll love your neighbor" ~ Wisdom.

  • @tyeboyce
    @tyeboyce Před 7 lety +613

    Thank you (: I often forget to care/support myself like I do for my friends or even strangers like the video said . I got arrested reminding people to be happy (graffiti) and not to be to hard on themselves lol.

    • @sajidaassaf174
      @sajidaassaf174 Před 7 lety +9

      tye boyce aww

    • @Carcosahead
      @Carcosahead Před 7 lety +2

      lol

    • @Healingson
      @Healingson Před 7 lety +3

      bloody criminal

    • @coreycox2345
      @coreycox2345 Před 7 lety +5

      You seem like a cool guy, Tye. I like your graffitte idea.

    • @tyeboyce
      @tyeboyce Před 7 lety +8

      We all have the ability to be good and bad also building lists isn't the best idea but you're hearts in the right place. It's about choice. World greatest criminal graffiti master me lol all I will say with graff is make sure you can run faster then the police.

  • @TheMaburg
    @TheMaburg Před 7 lety +314

    Life, is going to be great...

    • @hn6498
      @hn6498 Před 7 lety +3

      mark burg Sure

    • @Kartagoooo
      @Kartagoooo Před 7 lety

      Love that Trainspotting reference.

    • @TheMaburg
      @TheMaburg Před 7 lety +6

      Don`t forget that it`s all we have,so we should make it great...

    • @gangstashanksta
      @gangstashanksta Před 7 lety +2

      ............Who are you lying too.

    • @aliciagodinez8004
      @aliciagodinez8004 Před 7 lety

      Dragon Ball Super Is NOT Canon 4t5 revue

  • @blacknoise6
    @blacknoise6 Před 7 lety +18

    Loving myself is probably the hardest challenge for me because my inner war ultimately pits me against myself. Criticism and compliments from the outside are fine and dandy, but no one gets me the way I do, and so they simply pass me off as "weird." Sometimes, I may appear apathetic or too blunt with my expressions, which usually leads to misinterpretation and subsequent drama. For instance, finding humor in the middle of a medical emergency to null the possibilities and thoughts of death and doom. But I'm the only one who knows well how and why I behave. Regardless of how I respond, all forks in the road run to one grand question: "Did I do right by myself, and if not, how could I change?"

  • @forgetfulstranger
    @forgetfulstranger Před 7 lety +22

    youve got a friend in you

  • @batofdestiny7801
    @batofdestiny7801 Před 7 lety +183

    Thanks. I needed this.

  • @GrandElemental
    @GrandElemental Před 7 lety +45

    I've yet to do anything more difficult in my life than trying to get back up from years and years of ever-growing self-hatred. Thanks to this channel, some really thoughtful comments and a couple of books I've finally made some progress, even though it's still pretty minor when considering the big picture. It feels good, but damn is it hard and easy to slip up!

    • @MagisterialVoyager
      @MagisterialVoyager Před 2 lety +3

      Undoing existing pattern in our life is very challenging, but it is a work that one must do to be truly independent, free, and mature. Props to you for doing your work!

  • @coffeepot3123
    @coffeepot3123 Před 7 lety +7

    After 5+ years of being friends with this other guy.
    Only now did i open up and share some of my true self.
    Turned out to be well received and i'm glad i did it.
    Feel a lot closer now.

  • @oftenwrong.
    @oftenwrong. Před 4 lety +23

    When my parents died I lost my best friends. I have never replaced them.

    • @sheethaljoseph1364
      @sheethaljoseph1364 Před 4 lety +2

      Don't be sad.I also don't have friends . Everything will be ok.

    • @03cnutty
      @03cnutty Před 4 lety

      I’m really sorry to hear that I couldn’t imagine as my dad is my best friend, along with my mom but in a different way. Hope you’re doing okay. Stay positive beat you can

    • @danielesteve8359
      @danielesteve8359 Před 3 lety +1

      They always replace us. That's what people do...

    • @Elizabeth-yg2mg
      @Elizabeth-yg2mg Před 3 lety +2

      I envy you for having had such nice people for parents. Mine both had personality disorders and were very mean.

  • @DayshiftPat
    @DayshiftPat Před 7 lety +23

    Holy god, this was really helpful. I actually have a lot of trouble making the most out of the "me" time I have when all my friends ditch me sometimes, and this video (along with several others) always makes me hopeful that I can cope with the ups and down of life. So thank you :)

  • @MrIsaacSlam
    @MrIsaacSlam Před 7 lety +5

    "What progress have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself. Such a man is a friend to all. That, is true progress". - Seneca

  • @cynic_0546
    @cynic_0546 Před 7 lety +867

    My only friend is my crippling depression

    • @michaelpesavento8268
      @michaelpesavento8268 Před 7 lety +27

      Hi Cynic, Been there but I got help by joining a therapy group and with their help I found a new way of dealing with a lot of my depression and anxieties.
      Just talking it out can do a world of good and being with other people, in itself makes you feel better. Give it a try! Good Luck. Thanks.

    • @4thgradedropout980
      @4thgradedropout980 Před 7 lety +3

      Move to Cleveland! That's their major export!

    • @unapologeticallykev
      @unapologeticallykev Před 7 lety +15

      @Cynic That's what it wants you to think. ;)

    • @the1wholikesthis
      @the1wholikesthis Před 7 lety +8

      My simple advice to you is: Be grateful. Consider every little thing at the end of the day and say thank you for it. It may work for you too.

    • @biggus6633
      @biggus6633 Před 7 lety +15

      "Hello darkness my old friend..."

  • @arete7884
    @arete7884 Před 7 lety +211

    Lets get some enthusiasm in the depressed comment section.

    • @ten_2_life58
      @ten_2_life58 Před 5 lety +9

      Yay, happy times. Woo

    • @pytrannysaurus69
      @pytrannysaurus69 Před 4 lety +1

      Areté i cant be enthusiastic but here it is, some positive nihilism. It’s all going to be fine and you can’t change it. It’s the universe’s way and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Stop trying and accept you’re a cool fucking human ( or god, fae, what-fucking-ever-i-dont-discriminate)

    • @sparkingcontentment1168
      @sparkingcontentment1168 Před 4 lety

      YEEEAAAAHHH!!

  • @18YOLOL
    @18YOLOL Před 7 lety +672

    The problem is, friends don't know us like we know ourselves. That's why it's so hard to give ourselves encouragement, or the benefit of the doubt, because deep down we know why we deserve the hate we give ourselves.

    • @BigHenFor
      @BigHenFor Před 7 lety +133

      18YOLOL Bull. Too much self-hatred is as bad as too much self-love. Both are based on self-deception. You are human. You will screw up sometimes. Learn from your mistakes. Forgive yourself and move on.

    • @azraelexlibris4663
      @azraelexlibris4663 Před 7 lety +41

      there is no such thing as too much self love. You think of the blindness that comes with people you know that like to express their love for themselves, but that is narcism, it's the exclusive love for oneself. And what they lack is sight, but the pure love for oneself can never be bad.

    • @ammarelnosh8927
      @ammarelnosh8927 Před 7 lety +12

      18YOLOL that is a very valid point. However, I think that sometimes we are overly confident that we understand ourselves very well although our self image may be very skewed depending on recent circumstances.

    • @palasatena7071
      @palasatena7071 Před 7 lety +14

      Please, don't do it. I lost my friend because he thinks he does not deserve me. I told him I love him and that I don't care about his mistakes, I have mine too, but he doesn't want to be my friend anymore. I don't know what to do, I love him and miss him so much. But for some reason (maybe he wants to make me hate him or distance himself from me) he is being rude. I can't hate him abd I hope someday he is going to talk to me again.

    • @sebastianplank6466
      @sebastianplank6466 Před 7 lety +31

      18YOLOL but does it matter? Ur friends have real reasons why they fail, yet u accept and care for them. Why shouldn't u do that for yourself?

  • @arturo_cruz
    @arturo_cruz Před 7 lety +4

    I love how this channel gives profound messages in a digestible format. This is actually a very deep life realization that many people only realize late in life.

  • @thisisbob1001
    @thisisbob1001 Před 4 lety +9

    Yes very good. I now imagine a virtual friend who follows me round all the time and gives me encouragement 🤓

  • @hillystudies487
    @hillystudies487 Před 3 lety +1

    The Beauty of Freedom is Immeasurable
    The Satisfaction of Dignity is Divine
    You Do Not Need to be Someone You Are Not
    JUST you are FINE
    The world Needs You
    Because There is Only One You
    And Only You Can Be You, Like You Do
    LOVE from Cappadocia!

  • @yaboiaintshit4045
    @yaboiaintshit4045 Před 7 lety +32

    Not am I only a bad friend to myself, I'm a bad friend with others
    Nice.

  • @korejskavpraze1411
    @korejskavpraze1411 Před 7 lety +22

    I love those blue red yellow things they are so cuuute :)

  • @yolanankaine6063
    @yolanankaine6063 Před 4 lety +6

    You’ve done more for me than a thousand therapy session combined ever could

  • @carlgregory9776
    @carlgregory9776 Před 3 lety +1

    This is what I really now! Sometimes I forget to be friends with myself at times.

  • @Sara-rr9ss
    @Sara-rr9ss Před 7 lety +4

    Let's just take a moment to appreciate how beautiful this animation is.

  • @zaboza2011
    @zaboza2011 Před 7 lety +24

    it's said that "the enemy of my enemy, is my friend" .. but if I'm the enemy of myself, am I also my friend?..*sips on a cup of coffee*

    • @jos9140
      @jos9140 Před 4 lety

      Thamer_ss no one drinks coffee anymore. Its TEA. Ok sorry for the random reply. Although i see what u mean 🤔🤔 *hmmmm*

    • @amelieann3478
      @amelieann3478 Před 3 lety

      No one drinks tea anymore. Everyone drinks boba

  • @wifeofSauron
    @wifeofSauron Před 4 lety +4

    Thank you Alain De Botton, you have helped me through countless moments of self-doubt, breakups, and loneliness. I was never taught how to process my emotions (I did not even know that was an option) and I’m glad I can take initiative to do so with the School of Life.

  • @abhilashajha8822
    @abhilashajha8822 Před 4 lety +2

    Dear people who suffered emotional neglect in childhood and also everyone else,
    You in no way were responsible for the fallacies of your parents. When we are abused as children we tend to think we don't deserve love and kindness from people around us and end up sabotaging their efforts. Remember that you are unique, you are beautiful, you are lovable. Love yourself unconditionally, shower yourself with love for being you. See you will make mistakes but if you love yourself you will find the strength to say "It's okay, its human nature to be like this". The assurance from yourself will give you joy even when things go very wrong. You will be your own lover, friend and parent, glowing with inner warmth, helping people discover their own glow and helping them love themselves. This will give you the zeal to live, and even in darkest times, you will be grateful for your existence.
    Love yourself the way you want people to love you and never once will you feel that life is not worth living.
    Keep glowing,
    Love,
    Human,
    Earth,
    2019
    P.S: The message of self-love is urgent. It might prevent someone from committing suicide, it helped me.

  • @cjlovestaylah
    @cjlovestaylah Před měsícem

    This came out 7 years ago, but it resonates so much. Thank you so much for this. Sending love to whoever reads this :) You're not alone. It's never too late to learn how to love yourself.

  • @twinkiesmaster69
    @twinkiesmaster69 Před 7 lety +42

    I'm an frnemy to my self

    • @mussaalphaxard985
      @mussaalphaxard985 Před 7 lety +1

      The M how many of you are inside your body? it happens you hate the "me" but in deep love companionship with "I" or the other way around.
      if you can arrange The Personal Peace Summit... negotiate with both of you (mind,heart,will and body) that you're ONE.

  • @angelayala654
    @angelayala654 Před 6 lety +4

    I love the art.
    I'm just frustrated that I found these videos years after I started doing most of what's in them.
    I'm glad that these videos exist to guide others, so that they don't have to go it alone.

  • @flavia2328
    @flavia2328 Před 7 lety +1

    Thank you for this! Thinking of yourself as a friend to yourself puts things in such a different perspective, especially in times when you're being particularly hard on yourself. It'd make life so much easier if we always treated ourselves like a good friend would. Thanks for reminding us!

  • @andra_
    @andra_ Před 7 lety +1

    Another great video! I often hold my own hand when I feel like I need to be my own friend. It's a symbolic gesture saying " I have my own back" and it often leaves me feeling better

  • @triplehelix3207
    @triplehelix3207 Před 7 lety +50

    I am not going to go easy on myself, I'm too much of a fuck up for that.

    • @BigHenFor
      @BigHenFor Před 7 lety

      Dylan Salvitti Friends who want you to grow won't enable you to screw up. They will simply ask you: "what are you going to do about it?" and leave you to learn the hard way.

    • @triplehelix3207
      @triplehelix3207 Před 7 lety

      I just find the idea as forgiving to myself as i am to my friends kind of shortsighted, i know myself far too much to be forgiving and enough of them to know why i should be for them. Whenever i work with other people, i ensure that whenever i make i'm upfront about it and do try to fix it or make sure i bear the brunt of whatever damage it causes. I forgive other people because i don't know them as well as myself but that's no excuse not to be hard on people and yourself when needed.

    • @fortuneunfaded
      @fortuneunfaded Před 7 lety +7

      Dylan Salvitti you'll use this method of learning until it exhausts you (or vice versa) and realize you have a choice. to choose how you think and feel about yourself despite the circumstance.
      to honestly be conscious and try and say the statement you just did is hardly possible, simply because you know it not to be true. fear and false ego feed from your negativity. deep down you know you are lovable, you are loved and worthy of it, and what you "deserve" if anything is true acceptance for who you are, which you can start by owning where you are and accepting/forgiving the pitfalls, faults, you think you have or have experienced
      "screwing up" is heavily and badly stigmatized. failure is the recipe for success but peeps like to put on this show of invulnerability or say that losing is bad. our culture has us confused with its perceived vulnerability and fear

  • @heitita
    @heitita Před 7 lety +3

    Oh my god thank you so much for making this video. Recently i felt like no one's really care about me, and i stressed a lot on how i was losing my trust in my own ability. I feel like im not capable of doing anything the way i expect myself to be.This video gave me enlightenment and comfort. I'll try my best to be my very own best friend :)

  • @dailyrandomsmiles380
    @dailyrandomsmiles380 Před 7 lety +2

    I really needed this today.
    Thanks for pointing out not only how to encourage myself, but also know what to see in a 'true' friend. :)
    I hope everyone has a great day~

  • @SayWhat1067
    @SayWhat1067 Před 6 lety +1

    I don't know how to thank you but these videos have helped me so much with getting out of a rut. It's nice to be reminded that life is difficult, success isn't straight forward and self compassion is as needed as self criticism. Thank you!

  • @dashneelkaur5171
    @dashneelkaur5171 Před 4 lety +4

    Im here because after the lockdown I'm going to tell my "friend" that I don't want to be her friend anymore. Because life is leading me to another path. I want to start everything all over again.

  • @countingstars8029
    @countingstars8029 Před 7 lety +41

    love love love this 💞 be a good friend to yourself

  • @reemhosam6061
    @reemhosam6061 Před 7 lety +1

    "I love you, school of life" was the first thing I found myself mumbling once the video was finished. I love you, school of life. You are helping me through a lot, specifically through this difficult phase of my life. Please, don't ever stop

  • @ishadawaher-bakhos1048

    Alain, you're one of the best things to ever happen to this planet. I'm deeply thankful.

  • @thebeesknees2762
    @thebeesknees2762 Před 7 lety +37

    I really need help with this. I pour so much love into other people and when I come up short in any way I am very critical of myself. I can't possibly call out other people for letting me down when I might need them... I just think about what I could do to be better. I mean it all works fine until you trust someone who doesn't give you the same care. And then you feel awful.

    • @mno7493
      @mno7493 Před 6 lety

      theBeesKnees be a friend to yourself :)

    • @abbyadda1
      @abbyadda1 Před 5 lety +1

      theBeesKnees I think we have all been there, I'm still learning actually. This morning I found myself googling how to be happy, that is really sad I realized! But this is how life works through pain we learn we grow :)

  • @kek6210
    @kek6210 Před 4 lety +11

    When you're so lonely you try to befriend yourself, and you decline

  • @saran6651
    @saran6651 Před 7 lety +1

    Lovely concept. Thank you so much for the work you're putting into these, as I believe they truly help people understand themselves and others better. They have certainly helped me.

  • @ephoo4609
    @ephoo4609 Před 2 lety

    This channel is just too beautiful... I feel incredibly lucky to have found its videos

  • @VineetGairola
    @VineetGairola Před 7 lety +4

    "Jaha kahi pe kuch bhi nahi tha, wahi tha wahi tha"
    Translation - Where there was nothing, it was there only.

  • @alice.L.
    @alice.L. Před 7 lety +353

    All i want is a good caring friend but nowadays "friends" make excuses that they are too busy to hang out with u(not even 1h a week or in a month, u can see that u arent important to them anymore). I am really caring, friendly and like hanging out but since they get distant and don´t put effort keeping the friendship alive then WHY DO U EVEN BOTHER??? Social media has RUINED EVERYTHING. People don´t even give compliments anymore which can make your mood better, boost confidence etc.

    • @spookeymo
      @spookeymo Před 7 lety +13

      Alice Madness i wouldn't agree with the whole statement. i found that I'm distancing myself from some of my friends, not wanting to spend time with them on weekends etc but enjoying their company in school or so. and it definitely doesn't have anything to do with social media, it is specifically about them

    • @spookeymo
      @spookeymo Před 7 lety +21

      Alice Madness yet i still have friends who i care about, even though I'm not so good at showing it. my point is, maybe they're just not friends for you. don't blame social media, if anyone seems to be affected by them - dump them immediately

    • @markb.sandoval2198
      @markb.sandoval2198 Před 7 lety +29

      Alice Madness it was always like this hahah, it's not about them but more about you. dont make it something Special to have friends. just enjoy life by yourself, have your shit together and people will be there to have fun with. just accept it as it is

    • @michaelpesavento8268
      @michaelpesavento8268 Před 7 lety +10

      Hi Alice, I tend to agree. The only "Real People" I in my life are the other members of my therapy group, otherwise it's communication through this mechanical box, day in and day out!:P
      I think we've lost a big part of our shared humanity to technology and convince. We live our lives from "Screen to Screen" and real life just get's in the way. That's why a whole lot of us are just sad and lonely.
      Btw, I like your name, it made me smile:) Thanks.

    • @zix1257
      @zix1257 Před 7 lety +2

      maybe ppeople think you're clingy and annoying

  • @danielf.6770
    @danielf.6770 Před 4 lety +2

    I have conversations with myself out loud 24/7...I am my own best friend! I give myself advice too! I dont like being around people! I love myself too much! I might marry myself...lol

  • @uuguuguug
    @uuguuguug Před 7 lety +1

    Thank you. This is just in time. Feeling especially down tonight, and have been watching the video for several times. Thank you.

  • @LocoFaux
    @LocoFaux Před 7 lety +6

    Next time when someone says I drink too much booze, I'll just say "It's okay. It's for a friend."

  • @audreyyyhappened6831
    @audreyyyhappened6831 Před 7 lety +3

    I believe I am the best friend to myself. That is why I give real comments and be harsher because I want my 'best friend' to be the best of her. I want to be real to my ' best friend ' , because I believe she could be better. Simply giving false answers aren't making my 'best friend ' learning what she did wrong and how a failure she actually is. I want myself to be the best version of me. My ' best friend ' being at her very best.

  • @amicst
    @amicst Před 7 lety +1

    Having that point of view, being a friend to your own self can truly change your life. It gives you that distance you need to evaluate situations and be sensible about what happens in your life. You just become less harsh to yourslef and that's a truly beautiful act. Great video as always thanks to the School of life ❤

  • @debolina1496
    @debolina1496 Před 8 měsíci

    What a beautiful video, thank you so much for creating this message!

  • @HibaAydeed
    @HibaAydeed Před 7 lety +5

    I've never needed this more than now.

  • @dabidoe
    @dabidoe Před 7 lety +3

    I like the animation style, and the message is spot on. Anyone struggling with self esteem and self care should remember that you can't really love anyone else unless you love yourself first.

  • @NinjaBunni13
    @NinjaBunni13 Před 7 lety

    Always showing up with the kind of video I need right when I need it SchoolOfLife🖤

  • @augurelite
    @augurelite Před rokem

    3:28 that rain cloud and gesture with the umbrella is such a relatable metaphor

  • @Kidneyjay
    @Kidneyjay Před 7 lety +3

    Thanks for the reminder :)

  • @thaiscaramori
    @thaiscaramori Před 7 lety +2

    The School of Life definitely, definitely changed my life...for better! I feel more realistic about every situation in my life and with that, more confident.

  • @runeyugi
    @runeyugi Před 7 lety +2

    I'm glad that I'm already good at this. I learned this from experience a while back and the lesson demolished my personal self consciousness. Thanks for spreading it.
    P.S. I love the animation quality as always! Keep it up, you are currently my favorite CZcams channel.

  • @dudewat212
    @dudewat212 Před 7 lety +4

    Give yourself a Hug . Done.

  • @ASMinor
    @ASMinor Před 5 lety +2

    Be yourself. Figure out what you love and do it everyday. Ignore what other people think, and you'll notice that the right people will begin to gravitate towards you. You'll also start to notice that you care less and less about what others think, because you're perfect the way you are.

  • @kenichidc
    @kenichidc Před 7 lety +135

    I don't know how to keep a conversation engaging, barely know how to talk to ppl

    • @chrish6001
      @chrish6001 Před 7 lety +9

      I've often felt like that. Practice will help. I suggest you research a list and visit some area Toastmasters clubs, then join one (or an Agora Speakers club). These are non profit groups that don't advertise much so few know they even exist let alone how beneficial they are. Gaining new skills and interacting with positive, encouraging people makes most people feel better! It's fun and you help others too. Many felt the same as you. Research a list of questions to ask OTHERS. Most people like to talk about themselves. Sounds odd but they'll remember YOU being an interesting person if you get them to talk about themselves. You get to practice listening skills which are even more important.

    • @viccorum4640
      @viccorum4640 Před 7 lety +19

      You learn through struggle and confusion. Get away from the comforts, they will devour your person.

    • @dabidoe
      @dabidoe Před 7 lety +16

      The book "intimate connections" by david burns addresses this and it's not because you're boring or dull that you feel the need to bail, it's your fear of intimacy and lack of self esteem. Give yourself a fucking hug and chant "i'm a fucking winner/I'm unstoppable/the world can suck my nuts" every day until you believe yourself in the mirror as corny as it sounds. Good luck buddy.

    • @JazzJackrabbit
      @JazzJackrabbit Před 7 lety +3

      Practice active listening. Pick up what your conversation partner is talking about and pull the strings on it. Engage them by asking about their opinions and their plans on what they mentioned. Challenge them so as to generate banter.
      Most of all: practice makes perfect. No one becomes a master speaker by sitting home alone. Go out there and makes mistakes. It's the only way to learn.

    • @kyre11-v6t
      @kyre11-v6t Před 7 lety

      dabidoe is it a good read?

  • @lllooolll327
    @lllooolll327 Před 7 lety +1

    i would rather write you all in "school of life" a personal email of sorts. but this video is okay too i guess. ill have to say that you have helped me find answers and solutions to most of my personal problems and existential crisis. ive gone through most of my life in missery. being a self loathing, self destructive philosopher, I have not been very kind to myself. both mentally and physically. only the last couple of weeks Ive learned to look in the mirror and feel something else than disgust. and believing in myself and what i am capable of.
    Ive got to thank you for providing this content, and for being a source of information for people like me. to help bring out the best in ourselves.
    Best, Tom

  • @tipicamentesonriente
    @tipicamentesonriente Před 5 lety

    I love this videos!
    They are perfect, with the concepts and better yet, that voice is absolutely fantastic!

  • @timothymccaskey4362
    @timothymccaskey4362 Před 7 lety +7

    I don't know, it seems that every time I try to be a friend with myself,
    I end up being a friend with benefits.

  • @atosdejusticaful
    @atosdejusticaful Před 7 lety +6

    TSL has the best video editing on YT.

  • @Sunn777
    @Sunn777 Před 5 lety

    How true that we overlook ourselves in so many diff ways... like nurturing, forgiving, accepting...

  • @suprajhas9562
    @suprajhas9562 Před 6 lety +2

    We need our friendship with ourselves the most coz no one has lived and gone through things exactly like us :).thanks for the video .Really good animation and conveys the message clearly !

  • @loulou2302
    @loulou2302 Před 7 lety +3

    I just need someone who can understand me even though I cannot understand myself sometimes. 😅

  • @nkanyisoinnocentkhwane3752

    Nothing better than School of life, on a bad day or a good day 🤓

  • @sweetbutterfly8585
    @sweetbutterfly8585 Před 5 lety

    Thank you School of life!! Helping humanity go back to humanity! ❤❤❤❤

  • @eirmar2705
    @eirmar2705 Před 4 lety

    This was amazing..So comforting and so helpful..It spoke to my soul and warmed it up.Congrats.!

  • @karenforever15
    @karenforever15 Před 4 lety +3

    I always thought of my subconscious as my best friend I even talk to my self and it helps me though though times but I didn't wanted to sound like I'm crazy to others so I never tell

    • @snowyowel7961
      @snowyowel7961 Před 4 lety

      It's ok they are probably busy talking to themselves as well 🤗

  • @deborasnowflakes2409
    @deborasnowflakes2409 Před 5 lety +14

    ***Who is here because you dont have a bestfriend or a friend?***

    • @cherry2509
      @cherry2509 Před 3 lety

      Me and I've learned to be ok with it

  • @sodabread5
    @sodabread5 Před 7 lety +1

    Know a lot of people (especially myself) that can relate to this thanks School of Life!!

  • @pernillelindenskov9062

    So much important wisdom that I really needed to hear, and I absolutely love the style of animation in this video!

  • @michaelpesavento8268
    @michaelpesavento8268 Před 7 lety +68

    Hi, The problem is that I don't have any close friends so I don't have anyone to compare this too. How do you open up and bring people into your life?
    I can go a whole week without talking to a real person:/
    Maybe I'm spending too much time in the computer? But I don't have anything else, Thanks.

    • @hollya1279
      @hollya1279 Před 7 lety +5

      Michael Pesavento I have no close friends either. Every time I have had one it's just gone weird.

    • @chrish6001
      @chrish6001 Před 7 lety +1

      I suggest you research a list and visit some area Toastmasters clubs, then join one (or an Agora Speakers club). Gaining new skills and interacting with positive, encouraging people makes most people feel better! It's fun and you help others too. Many felt the same as you. When you've got more confidence, then go on Meetup and find clubs that interest you, or start your own. Find your 'tribe' (See "Tribes" by Seth Godin). Chances are there are others out there with similar interests or causes.

    • @anelisakittson6014
      @anelisakittson6014 Před 7 lety +3

      Michael Pesavento I don't know I was never liked much. girls always hated me cause of how I dressed and guys always flirted. I'm unusual and bold. nobody ever excepted me .

    • @michaelpesavento8268
      @michaelpesavento8268 Před 7 lety +4

      Hi Holly, Sometimes it just takes finding the right kind of friends.
      I'm part of a therapy group we meet once a week and we are all going through different things but we all have our own challenges and we are able to share our own uniqueness and we all learn from each other. I hope to be able to make some friends from these diverse and interesting people. I suggest you give it a try. Thanks.

    • @michaelpesavento8268
      @michaelpesavento8268 Před 7 lety +2

      Hi, Thanks for the advice, I never heard of those groups but they sound ideal and well worth the effort. Like a good place to start. Thanks.

  • @macc5963
    @macc5963 Před 7 lety +70

    Why would I befriend someone that tried to kill me?

    • @arthurcuesta6041
      @arthurcuesta6041 Před 7 lety +14

      BossWafflez
      You didn't got the point. He meant that he tries to kill himself everyday. Maybe with thoughts, maybe with actions.

    • @MrAlterior
      @MrAlterior Před 7 lety +7

      If you can't love yourself, the person you know completely. How can you love anybody else you know deeply? People change. You're people.

    • @Niom_Music
      @Niom_Music Před 7 lety

      Wowow, take it easy now.

    • @exquisiteaquariummusic1871
      @exquisiteaquariummusic1871 Před 7 lety +1

      eks dee

    • @xethaios
      @xethaios Před 7 lety +29

      Because people are capable of change, the you that tried to kill you may not be the same you that wrote this three weeks ago.

  • @wyattromo766
    @wyattromo766 Před 2 lety

    I think this video has made me truly comprehend what it means to love yourself. What seemed so out of reach before was merely a tool I already possessed, I just never have thought to use it for myself.

  • @alessandrovalente9954
    @alessandrovalente9954 Před 4 lety

    I'm here after a lot of your videos. I've learned a lot and your advices will accompany me through all my life.
    I am now a true friend to my self. So you reached exactly the pourpose of what you're doing, and the least I can do to thank you is to tell you succeeded in changing a person's life. Again, whit all my heart, thank you,

  • @siam5287
    @siam5287 Před 7 lety +4

    Awesome, now I don't need friends anymore!

  • @nonergonon
    @nonergonon Před 7 lety +4

    Hey School of Life,
    Can you perhaps make a video about 'How much is too much' regarding the control your parents have over your life?
    Idk if 'Asian' perspective can be kept in mind or not but yeah that's the situation i'm in.

  • @TheArtfulNarrator
    @TheArtfulNarrator Před 7 lety

    You guys are amazing. Your videos are always so warm and thoughtful. I Super needed this video today to help me not be so hard on myself. : )

  • @rolancamp8551
    @rolancamp8551 Před 6 lety +1

    This was great, seems so simple and yet when shit hits the fan you can easily turn on yourself. Good message thanks

  • @ECAPS.
    @ECAPS. Před 7 lety +624

    ah, nothing better than my daily dosage of depression.

    • @potudgruths972
      @potudgruths972 Před 7 lety +44

      loloismydaddy This has been commented below quite a bit of their videos. Except this time it's just wrong... how was this one depressing

    • @Clown81178
      @Clown81178 Před 7 lety

      True that

    • @stauner32
      @stauner32 Před 7 lety +31

      This was the opposite of depressing..

    • @swagpatriot696
      @swagpatriot696 Před 7 lety

      Z ayyyyyy

    • @the1wholikesthis
      @the1wholikesthis Před 7 lety +12

      The only way I can think of this as being a dose of depression is that one may not have someone to consider as a friend. But even then it's OK, because one will always have itself waiting to be befriended.

  • @livingvwithg
    @livingvwithg Před 5 lety +9

    Hey
    Stopping by to say
    God loves you
    He has a plan for you
    He made you
    Listen to music more often
    The good kind
    I have healed you
    He says
    Your heart and all your hurts
    And I am here for you

  • @ReneeSlansky
    @ReneeSlansky Před 6 lety +2

    Love this video , such an important message :)

  • @77heraclitus
    @77heraclitus Před 2 lety

    Such pragmatic wisdom! Thank you School of Life.